Hmm marine biologist here. I have to support Mak on this one. The Otodus Megalodon existed from the Miocene to the Pliocene epochs. Based to the existing fossils that we have, they are estimated to have been between 55 and 70 feet long and weighing over 60 tonnes! They're also directly related to the Great White shark (Carcharodon Carcharias) and the Basking shark (Cetorhinus Maximus). I got you Mak :)
@@Makingemi One of your fans is a marine biologist with the screen name, MyFunnyBunny69. You have to interview this person on one of your shows. This person must have lots of crazy, funny stories. 😁
Straight dude here. I don't know if it's because there's more of an emphasis on looks for women, but the ways I connect to my masculinity are almost all through actions. What makes me feel powerful is cooking a really good meal for my partner, or opening a jar, etc. I'd say the exception to this is my hands. That thing where you're flirting with someone and you press your hands together to measure always gives me a twinge of manliness. Having typed that out, I'm realising that I don't even really think of masculinity except by contrast or interacting with women. Like, it's when I'm being a 'provider' for a woman or directly noticing how physically different we are that it even occurs to me.
that last bit is really interesting because it almost completely mirrors my own experience. i'm a cis gay woman and i feel that there is a specific awareness of my own "genderedness" (but not my actual gender) that comes from contrasting myself with men, or interacting with them. it doesn't always happen, but it's an awareness that doesn't exist "on its own", like if i'm in an environment of only other non-men. that's why i am reticent to even call it femininity, because it doesn't feel like some inherent perception of myself but rather being forced to recognise how i'm being gendered from the outside. i've come to really dislike that perception, even though i do feel feminine. funnily enough, when i was younger i remember using that acute awareness of being femininely gendered in comparison to or in the company of boys (ie. feeling that i'm being seen as weaker, or aware of the anatomical differences, like having breasts) to convince myself that it was because i was attracted to boys.
Since the pod asked, I'll say that as a cis man I do feel emotionally powerful from being physically strong, as well as having a very deep voice. But I also have arguably feminine hair that I grew out during the pandemic that I love, it's thick and curly and has gotten me mistaken for a woman, but it doesn't make me feel feminine. I just feel like me
I'm also a cis man and grew my hair out until mistaken for a women, didn't make me feel feminine, I also don't feel more masculine after it's been cut short.
I love that for both of you! I also find it interesting because I'm AFAB and feel like longer hair makes me feel more masculine. I don't really know why since it's counterintuitive, but it makes me feel less girly and more neutral.
[i’m a gas station clerk&] one of my absolutely most masculine customers has long wavy brown hair haha. he would probably never get mistaken for a woman just cuz of the shape of him and his face 😅but nothing about his hair makes him feminine to me! it’s interestingly all in how you carry your traits that makes them this or that
As a cis woman, my broad shoulders make me feel powerful. I love the silhouette that it creates when I wear less feminine clothes, but how they're not to broad when I want to be more feminine. Idk, it's one of the parts of my body that I don't have any insecurities about no matter what the day Edit: spelling
I'm a woman who is the size of a average if somewhat slim man (tall, ~160#, sort of athletic build) and I love it. That absolutely wasn't always the case-growing up and early 20s I hated it and had terrible body issues, but I'm really happy to have embraced it. I dress to emphasize the masc but from the neck up I'm obviously feminine and.. I like it lol. It's cool. It's interesting to look at the conversations around gender today. As a kid/teen i was so, so desperately jealous of boys/men/the male body and wished that I could just wake up as a boy, but I didn't have the concept of gender identity or any awareness of transition as a "thing" or option. As an adult I don't have any of those feelings and wouldn't want to change.. though if I do the thought experiment, I don't see myself taking issue with a body-swap scenario ¯\_(ツ)_/¯
Straight CIS male here who is happy to volunteer for the ending question. Partner introduced me to Alyana's content went from there! Love you guys a ton. Seriously think that discussion was so fascinating at the ending. Definitely thought provoking. So few for me, Being soft and cuddly. I hate the concept of male beauty being hard and beefy etc. I hate that it's taken years to consider skin care for example . So putting it into this question was thought provoking. It's why I disengage with a lot of men as I feel there is significant brain washing. My smile. Idk I love to laugh and giggle and enjoy being happy. Often people told me to man up or stop smiling because men are often told to be stoic and idk not show emotion. My eyes. Heterochromia. Often when younger use to hate it. Even into uni. So much in media portrays bright blue eyes that hate a strong gaze. Blawh blawh blawh bs male stereotypes and descriptions of eyes in media. Idk it's taken a lot to grow out of the concepts of male fragility and toxic masculinity. Uni was such a changing point for me in particular to help with these disconnection but feel opportunities aren't given to CIS straight men often to reflect like your asking for so it's important to take those moments for anyone reading by! Hello you are seen and not alone!
I love this! There are definitely a lot of expectations and standards of how men should be, but I'm glad you broke out of that and are able to be yourself
I'm a nonbinary fem and I LOVE being and looking strong. I used to be unhealthy and obsessively lost weight to be small and building muscle is what helped me break that and see numbers going up as a positive
Heyo! Maybe a strange one, but i think i find a lot of my power in my body hair. Bc like as a queer woman there is something that i just find freeing &powerful abt just existing and being confident in my natural state and not shaving away parts of myself. Great episode! Love you lot endlessly❤
Hey, everyone. I feel powerful when i can move my body without any discomfort or pain. There isn’t a body part that makes me feel powerful, but I do know that when I’m trying to slim down or become ‘smaller’ I’m filled with more insecurities. When I honor my curves, my appetite, and my body’s ability to want to move- that’s when I feel powerful. Thanks for another great episode, fam ❤
Unpopular opinion but something about my body that makes me feel powerful is my hairline. Or rather the lack of it. It’s something that I feel self conscious about from time to time. I knew it was a possibility when I started taking Testosterone. But sometimes I look in the mirror and although my hairline grows farther back all the time, I feel like I look how I’m supposed to. I see myself. It’s something society doesn’t see as attractive or good. But I see that I’m growing older in the way I want. I feel I look distinguished. The windows peak also makes it easy guide for where to shave my Mohawk 😂
Good for you! Genuinely, I'm glad that's something that you've found to feel for yourself, regardless of what society may think. I bet your mohawk looks sick as hell!
Thank you for sharing this! I am in my. mid twenties and started T a year ago. My hairline has already gone back a bit and it is something I am working on accepting.
something in/on my body that makes me feel powerful are my scars. this includes stretch marks, piercings, scrapes, etc. they’re ways my body has been altered, either purposefully or not, that tell stories. they show my strength, my individuality, and the general journeys I’ve undergone so far in life that I know will only continue to pile on so long as I’m here in this body!
I just want to let you know that I love you all and as my chosen family I can be myself when I watch this! I'm a 42 year old, bisexual, black, natural Witch and mother of a teenage, Bi-Sexual, witchling. I feel safe saying that here but never with my bio family. Thank you!
I fnd it crazy that body parts or aspects can be empowering for one person and debilitating for another. I remember trying to "man-up" my way out of being trans, crying over a set of dumb-bells with my shoulders and elbows throbbing with pain. The first compliments I ever received felt like needles. I looked like a man, more of a man than I'd ever looked, and still felt like a hollowed out grandfather clock. Seeing men, trans or cis, find joy in bulking up warms my heart, but it took me seeing women get buff to really reconsider the way I see myself. Coming to terms with my queerness allowed me to dispel all those bullshit comp-het, comp-cis standards of beauty and listen to the truest thoughts that motivated me. I may be trans, I thought, but I could be buff. I could be any way I choose to be, should I choose to work for it. I regret the effects testosterone fuelled puberty had on my rib cage, but beyond that I kinda like the way I look, even if the occassional brain demon says otherwise. What do I like specifically? the newly made built in cushion of my thighs and butt where skin and bone used to be. I used to be like a windchime with a pudgy stomach, now I'm soft and springy everywhere I wanna be.
I recently started working out more regularly and noticing the changes in my arms and shoulders has made me feel so much more confident and at home in my body as a more feminine presenting lesbian. It helps me find that “sweet spot” between femininity and masculinity and I love it
I'm transfemme and I lucked out by having naturally wider hips, which has made it even remotely possible for me to have some curvieness now that I'm on E even though I'm over 6ft tall. Unfortunately my shoulders decided to thwart me and are *also* wide, and I long for Ashley-sized shoulders. Grateful for what I have though, and thanks for unpacking that question! It was a really good discussion
I think that the thing that makes me feel most powerful is my brain, like when I’m able to solve problems, or when I’m able to explain to people what I’m currently studying or just using certain knowledge to explain things in general makes me feel really good (especially when it’s something that I’m passionate about) and I think it’s really interesting that that was the first thing that came to mind, instead of a visible body part
Non-binary/genderfluid individual here - I struggled with an ED previously and any form of weight gain was very triggering. After having my child, I had to process through a lot of AFAB performativity that I experienced in my life, and have grown to love the strength my body displayed in pregnancy and birth, even though those experiences left my body very different. I also find a lot of power (and gender euphoria) in my arms being bigger now from carrying a child around and playing with them so much :)
Not a mama, but a very involved older sister here. I also found a nice sense of pride & comfort when I could visibly *see* I was stronger from carrying my 2 toddler siblings around when they were younger. I think it was twofold, being able to see that I was there for them so much that my body was changing to support them & their growing bodies, and I was proud of my body for being able to lift, play, and hold them.
Your show is so empowering. I loved the dialogue around what makes you feel powerful in yourself. Thank you for being a source of authentic queer conversations. As someone who is bisexual and sometimes a little gender nonconforming in a heterosexual marriage, having connections to queerness like your show is so meaningful to me
As a non-binary person who doesn't currently have the kind of body I want, this was a really interesting exercise to intentionally find something not that I just like, but something that makes me feel good and powerful and confident in my body. for me I think it's my abs. I haven't been good with my exercise recently (actually physical therapy for chronic pain, but it does give me a hella tight core 🤣) but I really should get back into that. my chronic pain is something that makes me feel weak but my physical therapy not only helps that pain and weakness be less noticeable, it also improves my favorite thing about myself. Thank you Chosen Family as always, lots of love 💛
I relate to this, my abs are a huge boost of confidence for me whenever I notice them in the mirror. I had my top surgery this monday, you'll get the body you feel more at home in sooner than you think, bud, hang in there, your community loves you♥️
Really loved the episode! As a trans woman who's been transitioning for little over 6 months, I still greatly struggle with dysphoria, especially as I'd rather feel "small" or at least "smaller". However, one of the things that bring me joy in my body (apart from said "ma boobies") is my soft skin. Back when I used to workout, even before transitioning, I loved having big thighs. Not muscular, just big. I hope to get back to it soon enough but for now university is in the way. Thank you for making this podcast, and brightening my day:)
This is a cool question, definitely gets more complicated when you're outside of the gender binary. I've always felt dysphoric about my chest and had top surgery for this, but have never felt dysphoric about my other "flimsy bits" lol.
im a fem lesbian, I love feminine parts like freckles, dimples, makeup, my long hair but what makes me feel so confident and myself is having broad shoulders and my arms and back looking muscular. the biggest compliment anyone could ever give me is that I have broad shoulders when typically that could be taken as offensive when saying that to a feminine women. super interesting to think about really
Literally talk about whatever you want guys. We freaking love y’all being yourself. Idc if you don’t take questions or don’t do updates in exchange for something else if you want. Seeing you happy makes me happy.
I'm a trans femme non binary and I feel most powerful when I pull off presenting femme really well. Its pretty difficult to explain but I feel it most when I am walking. As if I was walking with a limp before and now everything just flows right, everything fits. Also a bit sad but I feel very powerful when I forget that I am amab instead of afab.
as a bigender person I totally relate. I love to notice how I walk differently depending on which gender (m/f) feels more prominent in that moment, and both a 'feminine' and 'masculine' walk make me feel powerful in different ways. As an afab I do notice how conditioned I am to walk a certain way when I feel male attention though, which is something I'm trying to be conscious about.
I have never thought about the body question in that way before! "Powerful" is an interesting term. I would say that mine are probably my arms and chest, specifically my chest when I'm binding (though I'm getting top surgery soon!) I like that my arms are muscular in a lean way and the combination of that plus being flat-chested is just so comfortable and perfectly fits what I want to look like as an agender person! I feel very confident seeing myself in a mirror and seeing those parts just fit me so well
Alayna! Don't know if this would be a solution, but there may be some good sport clubs at college that do weekly stuff on campus, so it is easier to fit into your schedule as you don't have to travel far/just go after class and because others organise it you don't have to think too much or do too much for set up either.
On that conversation about bodies: I think the potentially strangest part of my body that makes me feel most comfortable and happy with my body is stretch marks on my hips and legs (pretty wavey lighting patterns~), and the little speckles (moles?) on my arms and hands. I didn't even know so many people felt insecure about them for the longest time, they just look nice to me
Mak reminds me of my best friend in the world and I had to move 5,000 miles away to work my dream job teaching teenagers in addiction. Love this podcast she makes me remember the great times with my friend.
I find so much power in the feminine elegance of having control over my body and its movement. I have danced my whole life, and thats where i feel the most powerful. Sometimes it is how we are able to make very difficult moves look like the most natural thing, and sometimes it is the simple act of listening to rthym, wheather it is music, hearbeat or a breath, and lettibg the body move with it. I also looooove being strechy. I feel like my body can do anything.
24 yr old cis female, thinking of something that makes me feel powerful is a question ive never been asked. I tend to tie most of my like back to more internal aspects of who i am but i love my hair. Its not perfect, always done, or a certain length but its bouncy, curly, and carefree. i always felt like it repesents how i view myself.
This is interesting - I'm a cis hetero(?) married woman. When I think of being a man, I'm somewhat indifferent, like Ashley felt/explained, I'd be curious and would definitely want to give it a go. Also when I think of what, in terms of my body, makes me feel good, I think of my height (I'm fairly tall at 5'7 and used to love wearing heels in my younger days), my broad strong shoulders, my big hands and my powerful legs. Not things typically associated with feminity 🤷 all very athletic/strong traits. When I was younger I was also quite flat chested which I loved, but since getting older (31) and having kids, I've gained weight, gained boobs (which I hate) and that more soft/feminine look has been a struggle to adapt to in all honesty. I liked being the tall, broad, strong woman. I think gender and sexuality are so complex and if there is some sort of huge complex wiggly spectrum of gender then I'd be closer to masculinity than a lot of women but I'm still very much proud of being a woman and wouldn't want to be a man. I love being a woman. I don't know how confusing that sounds though 🤣🤷 I also wonder how much of my view on myself and gender is controlled by what I find attractive in others, for example, I find traditionally masculine attributes/behaviour/features attractive, regardless of gender... I don't know. It's all very confusing 😅
And that’s okay!! As long as you have the space to be you and express yourself accordingly!! Being a man has many layers, and not you get decide about your gender, and hopefully can find people who respect you for just being you!!
fellow shark lover and meg believer here! moving my arms always makes me feel powerful. arm day has always been my favorite and i look forward to working out my upper body every time i go to the gym, which is why i've been thinking about getting into climbing (so definitely don't stop talking about it cause we love the climbing convos). thanks for always making entertaining and meaningful content!
One thing I was always proud / felt powerful about is my long and kinda strong neck, because for many years i did ballet, and being able to "sustain" your head is really helpful for some moves, but also i think it looks good on me. This with my collarbones is my peak of self-love and power, i feel a little like a marble sculpture, delicate but strong. Lately i've been working on loving more my "feminine side" that i pushed away when I discovered I was a lesbian (because of the stereotypes and self-imposed expectations), and understanding that how i present doesn't have to be linked to my exterior appearance, while still respecting how i like to look.
I genuinely love this podcast so much! It's my favorite thing on Wednesdays and I look forward to it every week ❤ I've struggled a lot in the past with feeling insecure about my body, and I'm still working on it, but the parts of my body that I like the most are my hands and my mouth. I'm a flutist and I'm really thankful for both of these body parts because they allow me to enjoy my craft and make music. Feeling confident in their skillfulness makes me feel powerful 💪
Lol first time/long time straight male listener who felt empowered to chime in on the power conversation. I tore both my ACLs and have to say going to the gym for rehab + to build on my athletic foundation makes me feel so good. Losing the ability to be active crushed me both times I hurt myself, especially the second time, but the strength and confidence I regained makes me feel powerful today. I’m not 100% yet, but even what I do have back makes me so happy.
I just lost my mom July 24 after a few weeks on hospice. This podcast is so helpful to me. I put my regular exercise to the side, and I'm struggling to get back into it, plus I struggle in general with a routine. I'm also going through the process of bariatric surgery so my body is going through some major changes. I've always liked dying my hair often to have different "looks" and using makeup as a transformation. So I don't think I have a "personal body part", but my makeup skills are what make me feel most gender euphoric.
That sounds very tough, I hope you're not too hard on yourself. It's completely normal and valid to be struggling, and as cliché as it sounds: it will pass. It won't be perfect or easy all the time but you will feel better ❤
@@miraaa19 I've been learning a lot about "giving myself permission" in my bariatric surgery journey, as well as multiple past traumas. I actually feel like I have a bit of a leg-up because I've experienced so much trauma and recovery, not to diminish the size of this trauma but that I feel equipped to handle it.
My hair definitely makes me feel powerful! My hair is long, naturally curly and naturally red and not a lot of people can feel the type of power that can give! 😂
my hair. my hair is like half of my identity. it’s what people remember about me (it’s long, it’s thick, and idk but people just remember it). But not my hair when it’s super frizzy which if is half the time. when it’s actually HAVING the wave that it sorta has. sometimes it gets curlier and it’s great, especially in summer when the highlights come out. it’s probably my favorite thing about myself. short hair is not it for me. bad experiences with that. maybe my freckles when they also come up 🫶. i love the few i get so much
Hi! 29, cis-woman, lesbian. Love this episode! I would say the most powerful attribute about myself that I love is my smile or hair. When I smile it’s truly genuine. My hair because when it was super long and thick years ago, I didn’t like myself. When I cut it and found my short hairstyle, it was like a whole new me was born and I felt badass! ♥️
My tattoos and the way I feel or move in a nice dress make me feel powerful. This was really hard to think about and come up with because I am currently working through and processing a very abusive relationship and I still have the feelings of powerlessness and feeling unsafe and unwanted. I actually really, really needed and appreciated the exercise. So thank you!
Well, you asked. I'm a straight guy, very masculine presenting. My things that make me feel powerful are my height, my long hair, nipple-length beard, big hands big feet, deep voice, my strangely well shaped five head, intense eyes and my bizarrely prominent collar bones. The ability to reach high shelves, be the biggest of spoons and envelop the ones I want to protect and make safe in a cocoon of me. The sense I can physically intervene and shield someone I care about makes me feel powerful and mirrors the deep seated emotional need to provide safety and security to those who may otherwise feel scared or vulnerable. Think, Guardians of the Galaxy, final act Groot. The flipside of that is that, for those who are strangers and who often feel vulnerable, I appear menacing. I feel the need to try to shrink and stoop around smaller people, not make too intense eye contact, not speak too loudly, to cross the street so as not to scare, to make no sudden movements so as not to startle and to keep my distance. It makes me feel very lonely.
I just love the chaos and confusion in all your podcast! Also, I can def see Alayna being an otter, otter vibes. Ashley failed to mention how vicious dolphins can be, which still fits her. And little mak, as a baby tiger 😂
I feel like hair makes me feel powerful ! Love my beautiful hair 😁 when it’s fresh from shower, stopped being wet and then perfectly brushed. It has so much volume it’s amazing 🤩
i love that ending question, it’s so interesting especially as someone with chronic pain and joint issues like ashley who has difficulty with a lot of physical activities. i remember when i was a runner and soccer player and my legs made me feel powerful, but sad to say i can’t feel that way anymore… but as a singer, my voice makes me feel powerful. singing in full voice, pushing the limits of my lung capacity, i feel powerful, and i guess there is a big physicality to that. or even my speaking voice, being able to speak out, make a compelling argument, impressing people and getting them to stop and listen to me. i also was so interested to hear yalls takes on imagining yourself as a man, because as a woman i feel neutrality or maybe a vague curiosity about having a male body… but i see that different as imagining myself if i were BORN male. when i picture the person i might’ve grown up to be if i were born a boy, the different ways i might’ve dealt with my father’s abuse, the possibility that i might’ve identified more heavily with him and not have the close relationship i have with my mom today, it makes me really uncomfortable lol. i think i would be an entirely different person, although i’d like to hope otherwise… that is the thought experiment that impacts me more than any consideration of what it’d be like to have a beard, male contoured chest, even male patterned baldness, etc. maybe it’s because i’ve worked hard to become body neutral, so i don’t have enough negative feelings about my body anymore to think that being a man would be in any way superior or anything. but because i also have spent more time developing the idea that “i am my body,” not having an alienated view of it, not needing to romanticize it in order to feel positively about it, i don’t feel super attached to much about my appearance. i kind of see it neutrally as “well, i’ll never know what it’s like, but it’s a neat thought experiment.” and i think as a bi woman, it’s especially interesting to think about how my sexuality would be impacted as a man. it kind of flips on its head the sexual roles women are groomed into, and it’s interesting to wonder what my sexuality would even look like if i were free from those.
Every week I wait all day to watch this! Thank you guys so much for making this. All the way from New Zealand. I'm still figuring out the body shit so I don't have an answer for you guys
I love that my shoulders and arms are muscling out a bit at my new job. But I also feel powerful when I get to train new employees and take the lead on projects. That's probably a VERY obvious answer. But as a woman, I love when those roles are delegated to me because I'm the best person up for that task.
My arms/hands and my stomach make me feel powerful. . I absolutely love my sensitivity though. That is also a very powerful part of me. Definitely had to learn to love it but I do!
Hi! I really love this podcast. I've been working through a lot of stuff in the last year, and this has helped me so much! I didn't have anyone to talk to about stuff like this, and the podcast makes it so easy, relaxed, and funny. I started listening when it came out, during the school year, so for the hour-long bus ride up to my Christian school, I had three gay coaches in my ear. This podcast has taught me so much and made me feel far more comfortable in my own skin, so thank you! As for the body question: it may be strange, but my hands make me feel the most comfortable in my body. I have pianist fingers, so they're somewhat feminine, but my hands are also fairly big, so a little masculine. I am female, and comfortable with my gender, but the balance in my hands makes me more comfortable with my body for some reason. Sorry, that was a long comment. Thank you so much, and I hope you have a great day!
Haha, I absolutely love the image of the "three gay coaches in your ear". 😂 Your situation sounds like a lot! I hope that you will find some like-minded people soon and that it will keep on getting better for you! Stay strong and as optimistic as possible! 💪 And queer AF (IF you identify with that)! 🙃
One of my feel good movements is when I dance. I love to dance because it does make me feel powerful, like I can bewitch people. It just makes me feel so empowered. Physically I love my strong arms. They make me feel like I'm at everyone else's level and it makes me feel strong inside and out.
Mindful Alayna is absolutely an otter that fits so well, anxious Alayna definitely a humming bird. Please more climbing talk also I'd love to see Ashley try a VB/V0- there's also adaptive climbing
Hi Chosen Family :) I am a lesbian cis woman who is very masculine presenting (short hair, tons of tattoos, baggy clothes/street wear, etc.)…think great-value-Mak 😂 I know it’s not physical but my mind and particularly my charisma make me feel very powerful. Whether it’s making small talk with strangers or having an in depth conversation with someone, I am very good at matching people’s energy in an intellectual way and it’s probably the part of myself I’m most proud of!
I find that I feel most comfortable in my femininity with my collarbone/neck showing, sometimes I’ll wear a small dainty necklace to add. I’ve never realized why I liked it in that aspect so much until you guys mentioned it; whenever I’d answer the “what’s your favorite body part?” question I was always met with weird looks from family and friends.
my legs make me feel so powerful!! I was a ballet dancer for many years and cycle now, so I have always had pretty muscular legs and I love it (although, thinking about it now, I'm not sure that's always been true? that's some ED recovery for ya 🙌🏻)
I think something that I've always sort of felt very proud of was my face, like my bone structure (¡?) and my eyes. Since I was born in China but I'm Spanish, people always commented them in a bad way, like calling me names and stuff that I recently have unpacked as like low-key racism that for some reason I hadn't processed as such before. Anyway, I digress, the thing is people always talked about my eyes in a negative or mocking way to remind me I was Chinese (like I didn't know that duh) and I always hated that I felt different or didn't belong, but despite that, I've just always felt beautiful whan looking in the mirror and seeing my face and eyes. Thank you so much guys for this podcast, it always brightens my day to see that you've uploaded and I always watch it when I know I will have enough time to enjoy it fully. All the love ♥
I’m really going through it right now because of a break up and a really bad experience with a coworker and neighbor and this is honestly one of those things I can put in the background and have some level of comfort and distraction from my insane life.
I'm a she/they and I really like all parts of my body but especially my arms and torso when I'm hugging someone or carrying my baby cousin, ugh the best feeling! And I'm pretty tall which I love so straightening up and walking somewhere with a purpose makes me feel powerful 😌
Oh no! I just binged the whole series over the last week but now I'm caught up and I have to wait for episodes, like everyone else?? Unacceptable situation. Great episode though, and a great podcast generally, keep up the good work you three.
Straight man writing in 😂- First of all, want to say that the thing Ashley said about “I feel bad that guys feel like they have their masculinity tied to their mass.” That made made me feel seen, so thank you. ( Also this podcast has slowly become one of my fav on Spotify, keep up the hard work ). To answer the question of “what part(s) of MY body make me feel powerful/ good”, I’d say my arms. Which is a pretty common thing. But the next best area is the chest area. *when I first found out I could do the thing where you flex both pecs individually, I got very very excited/ giddy. On the feminine side of things, I’m very proud I can twerk ( joined a hip hop class with 2 girl friends ) and I had a great time! Being able to properly throw it back gave me an ego boost I wasn’t expecting. Side note: To my fellow straight fellas. Please be careful of your body image and actively reinforcing a positive outlook on your body ( that’s one of those things I’m a little worried might be a problem. It’s real, it happens to us all. )
Hmm marine biologist here. I have to support Mak on this one. The Otodus Megalodon existed from the Miocene to the Pliocene epochs. Based to the existing fossils that we have, they are estimated to have been between 55 and 70 feet long and weighing over 60 tonnes! They're also directly related to the Great White shark (Carcharodon Carcharias) and the Basking shark (Cetorhinus Maximus). I got you Mak :)
@@nahadoth2087that’s me after a plate of fettuccine Alfredo.
@@nahadoth2087 I’m not a biologist but my guess is likely no, as there’s not enough food that’s big enough to sustain their size today
you have made my entire week thank you
What happens at social gatherings when people find out you're a marine biologist? Do they ask you a bunch of annoying questions about their pet fish?
@@Makingemi One of your fans is a marine biologist with the screen name, MyFunnyBunny69. You have to interview this person on one of your shows. This person must have lots of crazy, funny stories. 😁
"As someone who self-identifies as an orphan" is a WILD start to a sentence lmao
OMG Alayna is SUCH an otter
River otter!
Literally
OMG YESS
Word! *Completely* agree. I actually said it out loud to myself before Mak even said it out loud on the pod!!
Haven't even watched the episode yet but why is this so accurate
Hahaha I love when Mak goes "what's a megladon?! Are you serious Ashley?" She really embodied the little gamer boy-aura😂😂
Straight dude here. I don't know if it's because there's more of an emphasis on looks for women, but the ways I connect to my masculinity are almost all through actions. What makes me feel powerful is cooking a really good meal for my partner, or opening a jar, etc.
I'd say the exception to this is my hands. That thing where you're flirting with someone and you press your hands together to measure always gives me a twinge of manliness.
Having typed that out, I'm realising that I don't even really think of masculinity except by contrast or interacting with women. Like, it's when I'm being a 'provider' for a woman or directly noticing how physically different we are that it even occurs to me.
that last bit is really interesting because it almost completely mirrors my own experience.
i'm a cis gay woman and i feel that there is a specific awareness of my own "genderedness" (but not my actual gender) that comes from contrasting myself with men, or interacting with them.
it doesn't always happen, but it's an awareness that doesn't exist "on its own", like if i'm in an environment of only other non-men. that's why i am reticent to even call it femininity, because it doesn't feel like some inherent perception of myself but rather being forced to recognise how i'm being gendered from the outside.
i've come to really dislike that perception, even though i do feel feminine. funnily enough, when i was younger i remember using that acute awareness of being femininely gendered in comparison to or in the company of boys (ie. feeling that i'm being seen as weaker, or aware of the anatomical differences, like having breasts) to convince myself that it was because i was attracted to boys.
Since the pod asked, I'll say that as a cis man I do feel emotionally powerful from being physically strong, as well as having a very deep voice. But I also have arguably feminine hair that I grew out during the pandemic that I love, it's thick and curly and has gotten me mistaken for a woman, but it doesn't make me feel feminine. I just feel like me
I'm also a cis man and grew my hair out until mistaken for a women, didn't make me feel feminine, I also don't feel more masculine after it's been cut short.
I love that for both of you! I also find it interesting because I'm AFAB and feel like longer hair makes me feel more masculine. I don't really know why since it's counterintuitive, but it makes me feel less girly and more neutral.
Love the hair for you❤ stay authentic brother
[i’m a gas station clerk&] one of my absolutely most masculine customers has long wavy brown hair haha. he would probably never get mistaken for a woman just cuz of the shape of him and his face 😅but nothing about his hair makes him feminine to me! it’s interestingly all in how you carry your traits that makes them this or that
I love everything about that🎉
As a cis woman, my broad shoulders make me feel powerful. I love the silhouette that it creates when I wear less feminine clothes, but how they're not to broad when I want to be more feminine. Idk, it's one of the parts of my body that I don't have any insecurities about no matter what the day
Edit: spelling
I'm a woman who is the size of a average if somewhat slim man (tall, ~160#, sort of athletic build) and I love it. That absolutely wasn't always the case-growing up and early 20s I hated it and had terrible body issues, but I'm really happy to have embraced it. I dress to emphasize the masc but from the neck up I'm obviously feminine and.. I like it lol. It's cool.
It's interesting to look at the conversations around gender today. As a kid/teen i was so, so desperately jealous of boys/men/the male body and wished that I could just wake up as a boy, but I didn't have the concept of gender identity or any awareness of transition as a "thing" or option. As an adult I don't have any of those feelings and wouldn't want to change.. though if I do the thought experiment, I don't see myself taking issue with a body-swap scenario ¯\_(ツ)_/¯
Straight CIS male here who is happy to volunteer for the ending question.
Partner introduced me to Alyana's content went from there! Love you guys a ton. Seriously think that discussion was so fascinating at the ending. Definitely thought provoking.
So few for me,
Being soft and cuddly. I hate the concept of male beauty being hard and beefy etc. I hate that it's taken years to consider skin care for example . So putting it into this question was thought provoking. It's why I disengage with a lot of men as I feel there is significant brain washing.
My smile. Idk I love to laugh and giggle and enjoy being happy. Often people told me to man up or stop smiling because men are often told to be stoic and idk not show emotion.
My eyes. Heterochromia. Often when younger use to hate it. Even into uni. So much in media portrays bright blue eyes that hate a strong gaze. Blawh blawh blawh bs male stereotypes and descriptions of eyes in media.
Idk it's taken a lot to grow out of the concepts of male fragility and toxic masculinity. Uni was such a changing point for me in particular to help with these disconnection but feel opportunities aren't given to CIS straight men often to reflect like your asking for so it's important to take those moments for anyone reading by! Hello you are seen and not alone!
I love this! There are definitely a lot of expectations and standards of how men should be, but I'm glad you broke out of that and are able to be yourself
@@x13Mango13xI appreciate that seriously thank you!
I'm a nonbinary fem and I LOVE being and looking strong. I used to be unhealthy and obsessively lost weight to be small and building muscle is what helped me break that and see numbers going up as a positive
Yeah I want arm muscles. I'm working on it right now. I'm cis and bicurious.
@@deej6795 I'm working on arm muscles too. My arms aren't that strong yet but sure we'll both get there!
Heyo! Maybe a strange one, but i think i find a lot of my power in my body hair. Bc like as a queer woman there is something that i just find freeing &powerful abt just existing and being confident in my natural state and not shaving away parts of myself.
Great episode! Love you lot endlessly❤
Hey, everyone. I feel powerful when i can move my body without any discomfort or pain. There isn’t a body part that makes me feel powerful, but I do know that when I’m trying to slim down or become ‘smaller’ I’m filled with more insecurities. When I honor my curves, my appetite, and my body’s ability to want to move- that’s when I feel powerful. Thanks for another great episode, fam ❤
Unpopular opinion but something about my body that makes me feel powerful is my hairline. Or rather the lack of it. It’s something that I feel self conscious about from time to time. I knew it was a possibility when I started taking Testosterone. But sometimes I look in the mirror and although my hairline grows farther back all the time, I feel like I look how I’m supposed to. I see myself. It’s something society doesn’t see as attractive or good. But I see that I’m growing older in the way I want. I feel I look distinguished. The windows peak also makes it easy guide for where to shave my Mohawk 😂
Good for you! Genuinely, I'm glad that's something that you've found to feel for yourself, regardless of what society may think.
I bet your mohawk looks sick as hell!
Whenever I see someone who has a receding hairline I think they have high testosterone = hot 🔥
Adore the phrase “I feel like I look how I’m supposed to”
Thank you for sharing this! I am in my. mid twenties and started T a year ago. My hairline has already gone back a bit and it is something I am working on accepting.
something in/on my body that makes me feel powerful are my scars. this includes stretch marks, piercings, scrapes, etc. they’re ways my body has been altered, either purposefully or not, that tell stories. they show my strength, my individuality, and the general journeys I’ve undergone so far in life that I know will only continue to pile on so long as I’m here in this body!
I just want to let you know that I love you all and as my chosen family I can be myself when I watch this! I'm a 42 year old, bisexual, black, natural Witch and mother of a teenage, Bi-Sexual, witchling. I feel safe saying that here but never with my bio family. Thank you!
thats so great!! i love that you are living your queer life in this way! ❤
It's not called chosen family for nothing! We got you ❤
We love you, sis! Welcome to the fam!
We love you, sis! Welcome to the fam!
I fnd it crazy that body parts or aspects can be empowering for one person and debilitating for another. I remember trying to "man-up" my way out of being trans, crying over a set of dumb-bells with my shoulders and elbows throbbing with pain. The first compliments I ever received felt like needles. I looked like a man, more of a man than I'd ever looked, and still felt like a hollowed out grandfather clock. Seeing men, trans or cis, find joy in bulking up warms my heart, but it took me seeing women get buff to really reconsider the way I see myself. Coming to terms with my queerness allowed me to dispel all those bullshit comp-het, comp-cis standards of beauty and listen to the truest thoughts that motivated me. I may be trans, I thought, but I could be buff. I could be any way I choose to be, should I choose to work for it. I regret the effects testosterone fuelled puberty had on my rib cage, but beyond that I kinda like the way I look, even if the occassional brain demon says otherwise. What do I like specifically? the newly made built in cushion of my thighs and butt where skin and bone used to be. I used to be like a windchime with a pudgy stomach, now I'm soft and springy everywhere I wanna be.
I recently started working out more regularly and noticing the changes in my arms and shoulders has made me feel so much more confident and at home in my body as a more feminine presenting lesbian. It helps me find that “sweet spot” between femininity and masculinity and I love it
"i.. i like being shmoll" has got to be the most relatable thing i've ever heard!🤣
I'm transfemme and I lucked out by having naturally wider hips, which has made it even remotely possible for me to have some curvieness now that I'm on E even though I'm over 6ft tall. Unfortunately my shoulders decided to thwart me and are *also* wide, and I long for Ashley-sized shoulders. Grateful for what I have though, and thanks for unpacking that question! It was a really good discussion
I think that the thing that makes me feel most powerful is my brain, like when I’m able to solve problems, or when I’m able to explain to people what I’m currently studying or just using certain knowledge to explain things in general makes me feel really good (especially when it’s something that I’m passionate about) and I think it’s really interesting that that was the first thing that came to mind, instead of a visible body part
yes absolutely! i thought the same thing. I don't associate my body with power, but rather my mind, knowledge, and voice as my source of power.
Absolutely vouch for this!
Non-binary/genderfluid individual here - I struggled with an ED previously and any form of weight gain was very triggering. After having my child, I had to process through a lot of AFAB performativity that I experienced in my life, and have grown to love the strength my body displayed in pregnancy and birth, even though those experiences left my body very different. I also find a lot of power (and gender euphoria) in my arms being bigger now from carrying a child around and playing with them so much :)
Not a mama, but a very involved older sister here. I also found a nice sense of pride & comfort when I could visibly *see* I was stronger from carrying my 2 toddler siblings around when they were younger. I think it was twofold, being able to see that I was there for them so much that my body was changing to support them & their growing bodies, and I was proud of my body for being able to lift, play, and hold them.
Your show is so empowering. I loved the dialogue around what makes you feel powerful in yourself. Thank you for being a source of authentic queer conversations. As someone who is bisexual and sometimes a little gender nonconforming in a heterosexual marriage, having connections to queerness like your show is so meaningful to me
Same! Well said
As a non-binary person who doesn't currently have the kind of body I want, this was a really interesting exercise to intentionally find something not that I just like, but something that makes me feel good and powerful and confident in my body. for me I think it's my abs. I haven't been good with my exercise recently (actually physical therapy for chronic pain, but it does give me a hella tight core 🤣) but I really should get back into that. my chronic pain is something that makes me feel weak but my physical therapy not only helps that pain and weakness be less noticeable, it also improves my favorite thing about myself. Thank you Chosen Family as always, lots of love 💛
I relate to this, my abs are a huge boost of confidence for me whenever I notice them in the mirror. I had my top surgery this monday, you'll get the body you feel more at home in sooner than you think, bud, hang in there, your community loves you♥️
As a 15 year old girl, what makes me feel strong is my muscles and my brain.
13:06 Mak channelling Matea
The thing that makes me feel “Powerful” are my collarbones, I have no clue why but they just do. Also I love your guys’ podcast! 42:07
adding to this: The thing taht makes me feel powerful is my brain
collarbones are so sexy, I agree
I totally agree. Collarbones are super sexy.
Yesss I feel the same way, they are so hot.
Me too! I sometimes feel insecure about being too skinny and boney, but I actually like my collarbones
Really loved the episode!
As a trans woman who's been transitioning for little over 6 months, I still greatly struggle with dysphoria, especially as I'd rather feel "small" or at least "smaller". However, one of the things that bring me joy in my body (apart from said "ma boobies") is my soft skin. Back when I used to workout, even before transitioning, I loved having big thighs. Not muscular, just big. I hope to get back to it soon enough but for now university is in the way.
Thank you for making this podcast, and brightening my day:)
Mak is giving feral chipmunk vibes
It’s so wild that she caught a chipmunk as a pet, because those things ARE feral. Their bites hurt like heck
This is a cool question, definitely gets more complicated when you're outside of the gender binary. I've always felt dysphoric about my chest and had top surgery for this, but have never felt dysphoric about my other "flimsy bits" lol.
✨flimsy bits✨
im a fem lesbian, I love feminine parts like freckles, dimples, makeup, my long hair but what makes me feel so confident and myself is having broad shoulders and my arms and back looking muscular. the biggest compliment anyone could ever give me is that I have broad shoulders when typically that could be taken as offensive when saying that to a feminine women. super interesting to think about really
Literally talk about whatever you want guys. We freaking love y’all being yourself. Idc if you don’t take questions or don’t do updates in exchange for something else if you want. Seeing you happy makes me happy.
I'm dead at 11:50, Mak, you're killing me!
I'm a trans femme non binary and I feel most powerful when I pull off presenting femme really well. Its pretty difficult to explain but I feel it most when I am walking. As if I was walking with a limp before and now everything just flows right, everything fits. Also a bit sad but I feel very powerful when I forget that I am amab instead of afab.
as a bigender person I totally relate. I love to notice how I walk differently depending on which gender (m/f) feels more prominent in that moment, and both a 'feminine' and 'masculine' walk make me feel powerful in different ways. As an afab I do notice how conditioned I am to walk a certain way when I feel male attention though, which is something I'm trying to be conscious about.
I have never thought about the body question in that way before! "Powerful" is an interesting term. I would say that mine are probably my arms and chest, specifically my chest when I'm binding (though I'm getting top surgery soon!) I like that my arms are muscular in a lean way and the combination of that plus being flat-chested is just so comfortable and perfectly fits what I want to look like as an agender person! I feel very confident seeing myself in a mirror and seeing those parts just fit me so well
Alayna! Don't know if this would be a solution, but there may be some good sport clubs at college that do weekly stuff on campus, so it is easier to fit into your schedule as you don't have to travel far/just go after class and because others organise it you don't have to think too much or do too much for set up either.
I am super excited to actually have caught this loading up. And chipmunk was a perfect way to start this morning. 😂🎉
I’ve been putting out my hummingbird feeders since late April and finally saw my first one last Saturday 🥰 I love them so much!!
On that conversation about bodies:
I think the potentially strangest part of my body that makes me feel most comfortable and happy with my body is stretch marks on my hips and legs (pretty wavey lighting patterns~), and the little speckles (moles?) on my arms and hands. I didn't even know so many people felt insecure about them for the longest time, they just look nice to me
Mak reminds me of my best friend in the world and I had to move 5,000 miles away to work my dream job teaching teenagers in addiction. Love this podcast she makes me remember the great times with my friend.
I find so much power in the feminine elegance of having control over my body and its movement. I have danced my whole life, and thats where i feel the most powerful. Sometimes it is how we are able to make very difficult moves look like the most natural thing, and sometimes it is the simple act of listening to rthym, wheather it is music, hearbeat or a breath, and lettibg the body move with it. I also looooove being strechy. I feel like my body can do anything.
Watching this from the hospital while recovering from a big surgery for my own CPT stuff! Thanks for the constant laughs and positive energy guys
Get well soon ❤
24 yr old cis female, thinking of something that makes me feel powerful is a question ive never been asked. I tend to tie most of my like back to more internal aspects of who i am but i love my hair. Its not perfect, always done, or a certain length but its bouncy, curly, and carefree. i always felt like it repesents how i view myself.
i love watching this pod every week, its so comforting and it always encourages me to keep going. thank you guys so much!
My brain makes me feel powerful. I have an incredible amount of knowledge about my work, and I love when people come to me as a resource.
Ashley's owl imitation at 21:59 was so f'n cute.
This is interesting - I'm a cis hetero(?) married woman. When I think of being a man, I'm somewhat indifferent, like Ashley felt/explained, I'd be curious and would definitely want to give it a go. Also when I think of what, in terms of my body, makes me feel good, I think of my height (I'm fairly tall at 5'7 and used to love wearing heels in my younger days), my broad strong shoulders, my big hands and my powerful legs. Not things typically associated with feminity 🤷 all very athletic/strong traits. When I was younger I was also quite flat chested which I loved, but since getting older (31) and having kids, I've gained weight, gained boobs (which I hate) and that more soft/feminine look has been a struggle to adapt to in all honesty. I liked being the tall, broad, strong woman. I think gender and sexuality are so complex and if there is some sort of huge complex wiggly spectrum of gender then I'd be closer to masculinity than a lot of women but I'm still very much proud of being a woman and wouldn't want to be a man. I love being a woman. I don't know how confusing that sounds though 🤣🤷 I also wonder how much of my view on myself and gender is controlled by what I find attractive in others, for example, I find traditionally masculine attributes/behaviour/features attractive, regardless of gender... I don't know. It's all very confusing 😅
And that’s okay!! As long as you have the space to be you and express yourself accordingly!! Being a man has many layers, and not you get decide about your gender, and hopefully can find people who respect you for just being you!!
fellow shark lover and meg believer here! moving my arms always makes me feel powerful. arm day has always been my favorite and i look forward to working out my upper body every time i go to the gym, which is why i've been thinking about getting into climbing (so definitely don't stop talking about it cause we love the climbing convos). thanks for always making entertaining and meaningful content!
One thing I was always proud / felt powerful about is my long and kinda strong neck, because for many years i did ballet, and being able to "sustain" your head is really helpful for some moves, but also i think it looks good on me. This with my collarbones is my peak of self-love and power, i feel a little like a marble sculpture, delicate but strong.
Lately i've been working on loving more my "feminine side" that i pushed away when I discovered I was a lesbian (because of the stereotypes and self-imposed expectations), and understanding that how i present doesn't have to be linked to my exterior appearance, while still respecting how i like to look.
I genuinely love this podcast so much! It's my favorite thing on Wednesdays and I look forward to it every week ❤ I've struggled a lot in the past with feeling insecure about my body, and I'm still working on it, but the parts of my body that I like the most are my hands and my mouth. I'm a flutist and I'm really thankful for both of these body parts because they allow me to enjoy my craft and make music. Feeling confident in their skillfulness makes me feel powerful 💪
Lol first time/long time straight male listener who felt empowered to chime in on the power conversation. I tore both my ACLs and have to say going to the gym for rehab + to build on my athletic foundation makes me feel so good. Losing the ability to be active crushed me both times I hurt myself, especially the second time, but the strength and confidence I regained makes me feel powerful today. I’m not 100% yet, but even what I do have back makes me so happy.
My favorite climbing podcast honestly
Could we finally have the Chosen Family merch, please?
I just lost my mom July 24 after a few weeks on hospice. This podcast is so helpful to me. I put my regular exercise to the side, and I'm struggling to get back into it, plus I struggle in general with a routine.
I'm also going through the process of bariatric surgery so my body is going through some major changes. I've always liked dying my hair often to have different "looks" and using makeup as a transformation. So I don't think I have a "personal body part", but my makeup skills are what make me feel most gender euphoric.
hope things get better soon, sending love!
That sounds very tough, I hope you're not too hard on yourself. It's completely normal and valid to be struggling, and as cliché as it sounds: it will pass. It won't be perfect or easy all the time but you will feel better ❤
@@miraaa19 I've been learning a lot about "giving myself permission" in my bariatric surgery journey, as well as multiple past traumas. I actually feel like I have a bit of a leg-up because I've experienced so much trauma and recovery, not to diminish the size of this trauma but that I feel equipped to handle it.
What makes me feel powerful:
- being/feeling fit
- wonderfully beautiful dressed :)
- emotional strenght/stability
My hair definitely makes me feel powerful! My hair is long, naturally curly and naturally red and not a lot of people can feel the type of power that can give! 😂
my hair. my hair is like half of my identity. it’s what people remember about me (it’s long, it’s thick, and idk but people just remember it). But not my hair when it’s super frizzy which if is half the time. when it’s actually HAVING the wave that it sorta has. sometimes it gets curlier and it’s great, especially in summer when the highlights come out. it’s probably my favorite thing about myself. short hair is not it for me. bad experiences with that. maybe my freckles when they also come up 🫶. i love the few i get so much
Hi! 29, cis-woman, lesbian. Love this episode! I would say the most powerful attribute about myself that I love is my smile or hair. When I smile it’s truly genuine. My hair because when it was super long and thick years ago, I didn’t like myself. When I cut it and found my short hairstyle, it was like a whole new me was born and I felt badass! ♥️
My tattoos and the way I feel or move in a nice dress make me feel powerful.
This was really hard to think about and come up with because I am currently working through and processing a very abusive relationship and I still have the feelings of powerlessness and feeling unsafe and unwanted. I actually really, really needed and appreciated the exercise. So thank you!
just want to send some love ❤ please stay safe and take care of yourself
@@bettyb9677 thank you so much! I am definitely trying. Love my therapist and EMDR has been so, so very helpful.
oh man, I was really having a bad day and this made everything just a little bit better. Thank you guys x
I'm with Mak, I love my muscles on my arms, shoulders, and back. That's what makes me feel powerful
Ashley saying she’s a peloton girly is the cutest thing lol
Mak is fully embodying teenager today.
Well, you asked. I'm a straight guy, very masculine presenting. My things that make me feel powerful are my height, my long hair, nipple-length beard, big hands big feet, deep voice, my strangely well shaped five head, intense eyes and my bizarrely prominent collar bones. The ability to reach high shelves, be the biggest of spoons and envelop the ones I want to protect and make safe in a cocoon of me. The sense I can physically intervene and shield someone I care about makes me feel powerful and mirrors the deep seated emotional need to provide safety and security to those who may otherwise feel scared or vulnerable. Think, Guardians of the Galaxy, final act Groot.
The flipside of that is that, for those who are strangers and who often feel vulnerable, I appear menacing. I feel the need to try to shrink and stoop around smaller people, not make too intense eye contact, not speak too loudly, to cross the street so as not to scare, to make no sudden movements so as not to startle and to keep my distance. It makes me feel very lonely.
I just love the chaos and confusion in all your podcast!
Also, I can def see Alayna being an otter, otter vibes.
Ashley failed to mention how vicious dolphins can be, which still fits her.
And little mak, as a baby tiger 😂
I feel like hair makes me feel powerful ! Love my beautiful hair 😁 when it’s fresh from shower, stopped being wet and then perfectly brushed. It has so much volume it’s amazing 🤩
STOPP I LOVED MAC IN THIS EPISODE(and every episode ofc!!! but she was soo teenage brother it's hilarious)
i love that ending question, it’s so interesting especially as someone with chronic pain and joint issues like ashley who has difficulty with a lot of physical activities. i remember when i was a runner and soccer player and my legs made me feel powerful, but sad to say i can’t feel that way anymore… but as a singer, my voice makes me feel powerful. singing in full voice, pushing the limits of my lung capacity, i feel powerful, and i guess there is a big physicality to that. or even my speaking voice, being able to speak out, make a compelling argument, impressing people and getting them to stop and listen to me. i also was so interested to hear yalls takes on imagining yourself as a man, because as a woman i feel neutrality or maybe a vague curiosity about having a male body… but i see that different as imagining myself if i were BORN male. when i picture the person i might’ve grown up to be if i were born a boy, the different ways i might’ve dealt with my father’s abuse, the possibility that i might’ve identified more heavily with him and not have the close relationship i have with my mom today, it makes me really uncomfortable lol. i think i would be an entirely different person, although i’d like to hope otherwise… that is the thought experiment that impacts me more than any consideration of what it’d be like to have a beard, male contoured chest, even male patterned baldness, etc. maybe it’s because i’ve worked hard to become body neutral, so i don’t have enough negative feelings about my body anymore to think that being a man would be in any way superior or anything. but because i also have spent more time developing the idea that “i am my body,” not having an alienated view of it, not needing to romanticize it in order to feel positively about it, i don’t feel super attached to much about my appearance. i kind of see it neutrally as “well, i’ll never know what it’s like, but it’s a neat thought experiment.” and i think as a bi woman, it’s especially interesting to think about how my sexuality would be impacted as a man. it kind of flips on its head the sexual roles women are groomed into, and it’s interesting to wonder what my sexuality would even look like if i were free from those.
Ashley:”you’re either straight and alone or gay…and alone!” Me to the screen: “yes” 😂
“I’M A DELICATE FLOWER” on a tshirt
Every week I wait all day to watch this! Thank you guys so much for making this. All the way from New Zealand. I'm still figuring out the body shit so I don't have an answer for you guys
Where abouts in NZ are you from 😊
@@tizz.89 :) Kapiti! You?
@@KateDoyle721 I'm from Whakatane, but live in Gold Coast
@@tizz.89 Oh pretty places all round then
We need a t-shirt covered with sound bytes from some especially chaotic episode ... I wouldn't disqualify this episode from consideration 😉🤣🤣😂
This is the best way to come home from school
💯💯!!
Thank you guys for this podcast. I love it and need it.
Mak is on FIRE this ep😂
Related very hard to Ashley not wanting muscle mass as a tramsfemme nb, ty @ anonymous listener that was a great conversation starter 💕
Buzz lightyear would be the boarder control for space 😂😂
I love that my shoulders and arms are muscling out a bit at my new job. But I also feel powerful when I get to train new employees and take the lead on projects. That's probably a VERY obvious answer. But as a woman, I love when those roles are delegated to me because I'm the best person up for that task.
I got into bouldering back in November and have been going on and off since and I sent my first v3 yesterday so proud of myself
30secs in and loving life as one of my fave animals is shaaaaarks!!!
My arms/hands and my stomach make me feel powerful. . I absolutely love my sensitivity though. That is also a very powerful part of me. Definitely had to learn to love it but I do!
I've always liked my hands. Long and slender. And I totally forgot until you brought it up but I do really like my collarbone and shoulder/neck area.
Thank you so much for making this ❤️🔥🌻💯🌱☀️🩵🫂🎻🌈🩷🌟❤️✨🎵🎶🩷💯
Hi! I really love this podcast. I've been working through a lot of stuff in the last year, and this has helped me so much! I didn't have anyone to talk to about stuff like this, and the podcast makes it so easy, relaxed, and funny. I started listening when it came out, during the school year, so for the hour-long bus ride up to my Christian school, I had three gay coaches in my ear. This podcast has taught me so much and made me feel far more comfortable in my own skin, so thank you!
As for the body question: it may be strange, but my hands make me feel the most comfortable in my body. I have pianist fingers, so they're somewhat feminine, but my hands are also fairly big, so a little masculine. I am female, and comfortable with my gender, but the balance in my hands makes me more comfortable with my body for some reason.
Sorry, that was a long comment. Thank you so much, and I hope you have a great day!
Haha, I absolutely love the image of the "three gay coaches in your ear". 😂
Your situation sounds like a lot! I hope that you will find some like-minded people soon and that it will keep on getting better for you!
Stay strong and as optimistic as possible! 💪 And queer AF (IF you identify with that)! 🙃
@@prprprivate489 Thank you! I'm transferring to a public school, so I'm hoping to be able to do just that!
@@evil_little_imp That sounds like a good plan! I hope that it works out for you!
One of my feel good movements is when I dance. I love to dance because it does make me feel powerful, like I can bewitch people. It just makes me feel so empowered. Physically I love my strong arms. They make me feel like I'm at everyone else's level and it makes me feel strong inside and out.
Mindful Alayna is absolutely an otter that fits so well, anxious Alayna definitely a humming bird. Please more climbing talk also I'd love to see Ashley try a VB/V0- there's also adaptive climbing
I love how much Alayna and Mak love climbing… but I’m on team Ashley and have nooooo idea what you guys are talking about 🤪
Hi Chosen Family :) I am a lesbian cis woman who is very masculine presenting (short hair, tons of tattoos, baggy clothes/street wear, etc.)…think great-value-Mak 😂 I know it’s not physical but my mind and particularly my charisma make me feel very powerful. Whether it’s making small talk with strangers or having an in depth conversation with someone, I am very good at matching people’s energy in an intellectual way and it’s probably the part of myself I’m most proud of!
I love these episodes i can listen to these all day plus these help me not procrastinate
Idk why, but I actually really like Mak's temporary set up for this episode - the angle and stuff just looks really nice to me for some reason
I started cycling and now I feel powerful in my quads. I started climbing and now I feel powerful in my shoulders.
I find that I feel most comfortable in my femininity with my collarbone/neck showing, sometimes I’ll wear a small dainty necklace to add.
I’ve never realized why I liked it in that aspect so much until you guys mentioned it; whenever I’d answer the “what’s your favorite body part?” question I was always met with weird looks from family and friends.
Thanks for the episode!
My eyes make me feel powerful because it holds so much of my emotion and thoughts
my legs make me feel so powerful!! I was a ballet dancer for many years and cycle now, so I have always had pretty muscular legs and I love it (although, thinking about it now, I'm not sure that's always been true? that's some ED recovery for ya 🙌🏻)
I think something that I've always sort of felt very proud of was my face, like my bone structure (¡?) and my eyes. Since I was born in China but I'm Spanish, people always commented them in a bad way, like calling me names and stuff that I recently have unpacked as like low-key racism that for some reason I hadn't processed as such before. Anyway, I digress, the thing is people always talked about my eyes in a negative or mocking way to remind me I was Chinese (like I didn't know that duh) and I always hated that I felt different or didn't belong, but despite that, I've just always felt beautiful whan looking in the mirror and seeing my face and eyes.
Thank you so much guys for this podcast, it always brightens my day to see that you've uploaded and I always watch it when I know I will have enough time to enjoy it fully. All the love ♥
I’m really going through it right now because of a break up and a really bad experience with a coworker and neighbor and this is honestly one of those things I can put in the background and have some level of comfort and distraction from my insane life.
I'm a she/they and I really like all parts of my body but especially my arms and torso when I'm hugging someone or carrying my baby cousin, ugh the best feeling! And I'm pretty tall which I love so straightening up and walking somewhere with a purpose makes me feel powerful 😌
Oh no! I just binged the whole series over the last week but now I'm caught up and I have to wait for episodes, like everyone else?? Unacceptable situation.
Great episode though, and a great podcast generally, keep up the good work you three.
bro i had the gnarliest burp 18:03 right before you gusy said idk wtf that sound is lmaooooo i wondor if it trasnfered thru the ethers
During hurricane season in New Orleans, I look at 600 tweets easily. It's vital for emergency hyper local communications.
Straight man writing in 😂- First of all, want to say that the thing Ashley said about “I feel bad that guys feel like they have their masculinity tied to their mass.” That made made me feel seen, so thank you. ( Also this podcast has slowly become one of my fav on Spotify, keep up the hard work ). To answer the question of “what part(s) of MY body make me feel powerful/ good”, I’d say my arms. Which is a pretty common thing. But the next best area is the chest area. *when I first found out I could do the thing where you flex both pecs individually, I got very very excited/ giddy. On the feminine side of things, I’m very proud I can twerk ( joined a hip hop class with 2 girl friends ) and I had a great time! Being able to properly throw it back gave me an ego boost I wasn’t expecting. Side note: To my fellow straight fellas. Please be careful of your body image and actively reinforcing a positive outlook on your body ( that’s one of those things I’m a little worried might be a problem. It’s real, it happens to us all. )