Full disclosure, I am a Black woman, but I'm also an atheist. That being said, I agree with your wisdom on anger. Once upon a time, I let anger consume me, it poisoned my childhood. I had to learn through a lot of self-examination to channel my anger into the change I wanted to see in the world. Now, my anger is fuel to help me work harder to help my community. I am grateful for my anger now. Thank you for sharing your wisdom with the world. ❤
@yourwellnesscheck Fellow Black Woman Atheist/Agnostic here. When I read the title, I wondered if Alecia was going to frame some Black Women's immature, at times antagonistic and harmful behaviors as something other than damaging. I listened anyway and I'm glad I did. She spoke intelligently about Black Women's anger, making clear distinctions between anger and behavior . I'm hoping this show will place Black Women's anger in perspective for many, especially for those of us who have been gaslit by others for our justified anger and even concerns.
Black lesbian atheist here, nice to see y'all in the comments! I listen to Alecia and have for a long time. she does a great job of delivering the message minus the dogma. When she says "God" or the "Creator" I replace as needed. I've never felt put off enough to unsubscribe, which has happened with other experiences (especially as I'm also lesbian). I hope y'all have a great day and I'm sending love and kudos for overcoming anger!! I understand its destruction as well as its protection ❤
This is such a timely topic for me as I literally went through this today at work. I spoke up in defense of myself, to protect my livelihood…(I cannot get into details) I did not express myself in an angry fashion. But I was very assertive. Of course being the only black woman where I work…this is not taken well. Honestly I’m so tired of this trope. Whenever I see a black woman being labeled as angry…I often wonder about the back story. I often wonder how many time she has been pushed, prodded, maligned, surveilled. It’s tiring out here…
It is EXHAUSTIIIIING 🫂💛🌺🌻 I am SO sorry that this happened to you. 💛💛💛 And same! Whenever I see that, I raise my eyebrows. It's so easy to simply just call someone angry, but what's really going on???
Assertion scares people, but what I've realized is that only people who push or outright ignore boundaries, people who are disrespectful to another person's humanity, they are afraid of assertion and label it as anger. I am a highly assertive black woman who will never tolerate having my boundaries crossed, and people swear I am just an evil angry demon for it. My way of assertion isnt loud or violent but people still swear I am an evil angry demon.
Preach it! I wish there were a Black women's support group that followed safety guidelines. I empathize with Black men in Amerikkka, but it is so disheartening to have practically no allies in my department. There are people who LOOK like me but don't share my lineage. Immigrants get to be wyte at my expense. Speaking up for myself is like talking to myself, or being invisible. My manager has blocked the use of my benefits and actions have lead to unpaid wages.yes, I'm angry. My union doesn't help me. But my anger can be used against me. But it's ok for wyte and melinated wyte people to get angry or feel wyte fragility with negative consequences for me.
This was beautiful. I realized last year I had no relationship with my anger which made it dangerous when I touched that emotion. Now my anger is used in a productive manner and sometimes I have to sing or sance it out of ky body so it doesnt linger.
I honestly cannot put into words how much this video spoke to me especially with a recent relationship I was in. Thank you so much from someone who is really in tune with their feelings and has always been told “I’m too sensitive, angry, aggressive etc” and that I wear my heart on my sleeve. I definitely view every feeling we as black women have as valid one is not more important over the other. I agree with everything you shared PS I know that the reason why so many people call black women angry/aggressive/violent is because they know how powerful we are individually and as a whole and I believe that a lot of us have the ability to transmute and channel these emotions to create realities that serve our higher selves and those around us.
Much love and joy to you!!! This is such a beautiful revelation and truth! It's powerful! We are powerful! You have brightened my day. Thank you so much for choosing yourself. It's liberating!
6:20 describes me and my mother and y’all I have pregnancy related heart failure and was a statistic for black maternal medical care and a chance to be taken seriously has caused me to have a lifelong heart problem 🦋
My ex told me: "You have anger issues!" I replied: "I don't have anger issues. I'm angry! And I have every right to be." He had no response. And now he's ex'd. And I'm free, me and happy!
Anger is definitely the spark, and when we're told not to feel anger we're actually being told "Don't destroy the hundreds of years of work that have been put in place to build these invisible structures of suppression built against you, you're supposed to just put up with that.". I love the woman's anger when properly channeled because she is the pillar of the community, she is central to culture, meaning when properly channeled our anger will raise generations of people much greater than ourselves who will destroy the foundations of these corrupt systems who benefit from our demise.
Unfortunately in April I became housing challenge because my daughter would not be able to continue to split the rent with me. This has caused a lot of stress as I’ve had to move back home and my mother has always hated me as a child and as an adult so going back destitute and needing a place to stay has her in control. She is disrespectful in front of my son, belittles all of the work that I’ve done all my life that now may not equal much, Then even with all of these bad things that of happened to me car breaking down at the same time moving out of an apartment to have to go to someone who is extremely toxic home and reminds you every day that they hate you being there and you working hard every day to earn money that I can’t really pay any higher rent that is being asked this is frustrating and I at times I’m calling the angry black woman when I am just an unsupported black woman who no one can understand because they’re not in the position that I am in.❤
OMG, this reminds me of a time where I was extremely angry in life and I played that song by Solange called mad on repeat… I got a lot to be mad about but I have to let it go and channel it in positive ways. I’m still working on it, but it gets easier with time. I focus on what I want out of life, which is to be happy, and in a state of joy, regardless of my circumstances. I am now intentional about focusing my energy on solutions, and things that are only in my control. What is in my control is not tangible: my thinking, and positive outlook on life. Im deliberately no longer hyper focused on what upsets me about life. I feel comfortable resting and not overworking myself anymore, which has allowed me to grow and evolve in ways I wouldn’t have if I never slowed down. I want to thank you so much for validating and affirming my experiences in so many ways. Your channel is like the universe talking to me, and being my best friend through you. 🎉 ❤
LISTEEEEN!!! That song is SO liberating and free! Let me go cue it up! It's definitely a practice to funnel our anger, especially when we've been told that our anger is wrong. I love this! "What is in my control?" This is exactly how we should be speaking to ourselves in these moments. I am honored by your kindness. Thank you for your generosity and love. Much love and joy to you!!!
@@AleciaRenece Yassss!!! I admire you some much. I feel my compliment was a little shallow so let me rewrite:Thank you for just being your authentic self by sharing your thoughts, experiences and feelings. You simply being and sharing yourself enables me to have a new sense of awareness specifically for loving, honoring, & being gracious/ compassionate with myself and therefore others. I really appreciate you taking the time to actually respond to us; it's really special to feel seen and be heard from a kind soul I truly relate to 😌. I am honored by YOUR kindness!!! Peace, blessings, and love to you, Alecia 💐💐💐💐💐🤗
Ms Renece I heard your Live on Anger and I've been meaning to comment. I just wanted to say that you are wise beyond your years. Everytime, I listen to your videos, I learn something new. And I'm 64 Years Old. Thank you for all of my positive messages. I want to be just like you when I grow up. Love Always, Kim
I process my anger through art (raps and poetry) etc i learned about righteous anger and standing up for myself. I had to learn to tell people what im hurt by. I like the idea of rage rooms for sure. I also think black women are the scapegoats for society so they fear our anger
First off I would love to say, great video. I enjoyed it. Being angry is a feeling and it’s normal to feel angry. Being able to control your anger is another thing. When people make the statement “angry black woman”, it is because of their actions and not the feeling itself. God bless you.
Thank you so much for watching and for your kindness. I hear what you're saying, and sure. Some people act on their anger in ways that aren't beneficial. I wish that were always the case, but unfortunately it's not. It's a racist and misogynoirist trope used to silence and dehumanize Black women... It's the same reason why reason why they call BW "masculine". They see and treat us as animals.
This video has come at such a timely one. Anger is one of those strong emotions that I've had trouble processing and sometimes identifying it's existence. I have trouble processing and identifying my emotions in general but when it comes to anger I think somewhere along the way I got it in my head that it wasn't a good thing (which didn't help matters). I've gotten to a place where I've realized that it's not such a bad thing to be angry especially when there's so many things to be angry about. Now, if only I can identify when I'm actually angry. To the average person, the previous sentence might seem odd but I'd like to put a name to it: alexithymia-an inability to describe and identify emotions.
unrelated but seeing the views at 1444 (444) i’ve been dealing with my anger lately and seeing this made me realize there’s beauty in my anger because i’m very passionate and that i carry a lot of emotions and is full of have a lot of care and love and the anger that i feel comes from that
I am angry that my technology is able to be manipulated in the lab, military, call centers, random racist cops with sting rays, and random cities on my phone. I am angry that although I graduated elementary, middle school and highschool in the same area. I'm homeless being forced to live in an all white community with 4 black families with my poor mother. I'm angry that I'm still living in America and have no economic or technological way to escape. I realized I've been angry. I'm just tired of dealing with it. But thanks for posting this, your right they make it seem like we are inhumane just because we get emotional whether it be anger or sexuality. My mom was praying today and I felt only anger at Christianity and the manipulative Christians that help kept me in debt and poverty from that Christian college.
I live to be happy and positive even in a bad situation but it is others who see this attitude as not caring about the situation or overly optimistic vibe doesn’t work for this Jamaican mother but as I know life can be cut short so I’m seeing life through 👓 no else has on when tough times occur
im not from america, But I have always seen Black Women to be loud and shrill and upleasant to watch or hear. Its not like someone told me to, but that is just the case how I consumed everything since childhood. From foreign media, to movies, every women expressed herself in such an extreme that it made me kinda not like them.
Full disclosure, I am a Black woman, but I'm also an atheist. That being said, I agree with your wisdom on anger. Once upon a time, I let anger consume me, it poisoned my childhood. I had to learn through a lot of self-examination to channel my anger into the change I wanted to see in the world. Now, my anger is fuel to help me work harder to help my community. I am grateful for my anger now. Thank you for sharing your wisdom with the world. ❤
@yourwellnesscheck Fellow Black Woman Atheist/Agnostic here. When I read the title, I wondered if Alecia was going to frame some Black Women's immature, at times antagonistic and harmful behaviors as something other than damaging. I listened anyway and I'm glad I did. She spoke intelligently about Black Women's anger, making clear distinctions between anger and behavior . I'm hoping this show will place Black Women's anger in perspective for many, especially for those of us who have been gaslit by others for our justified anger and even concerns.
Black lesbian atheist here, nice to see y'all in the comments! I listen to Alecia and have for a long time. she does a great job of delivering the message minus the dogma. When she says "God" or the "Creator" I replace as needed. I've never felt put off enough to unsubscribe, which has happened with other experiences (especially as I'm also lesbian). I hope y'all have a great day and I'm sending love and kudos for overcoming anger!! I understand its destruction as well as its protection ❤
@@chavaliernsharps159God loves you regardless your one of his creations 😊 one day we’re all going to see God rather you like it or not
@@JillCammy okay thank you!
❤❤❤
This is such a timely topic for me as I literally went through this today at work. I spoke up in defense of myself, to protect my livelihood…(I cannot get into details) I did not express myself in an angry fashion. But I was very assertive. Of course being the only black woman where I work…this is not taken well. Honestly I’m so tired of this trope. Whenever I see a black woman being labeled as angry…I often wonder about the back story. I often wonder how many time she has been pushed, prodded, maligned, surveilled. It’s tiring out here…
It is EXHAUSTIIIIING 🫂💛🌺🌻 I am SO sorry that this happened to you. 💛💛💛 And same! Whenever I see that, I raise my eyebrows. It's so easy to simply just call someone angry, but what's really going on???
15:54 ohhh girl this last part of the video…the affirming words…brought tears to my eyes….I needed this today 🤎
@@JWartsy *BIG HUGS* 💛🫂🌻 I'm so glad these words touched you. That makes my heart so happy. I see you and celebrate you! 🌺🌺🌺
Assertion scares people, but what I've realized is that only people who push or outright ignore boundaries, people who are disrespectful to another person's humanity, they are afraid of assertion and label it as anger. I am a highly assertive black woman who will never tolerate having my boundaries crossed, and people swear I am just an evil angry demon for it. My way of assertion isnt loud or violent but people still swear I am an evil angry demon.
Preach it!
I wish there were a Black women's support group that followed safety guidelines. I empathize with Black men in Amerikkka, but it is so disheartening to have practically no allies in my department. There are people who LOOK like me but don't share my lineage. Immigrants get to be wyte at my expense. Speaking up for myself is like talking to myself, or being invisible.
My manager has blocked the use of my benefits and actions have lead to unpaid wages.yes, I'm angry. My union doesn't help me. But my anger can be used against me. But it's ok for wyte and melinated wyte people to get angry or feel wyte fragility with negative consequences for me.
I feel the same way about “complaining” . Nothing would ever change is no one ever complained. There is a good and bad side to most things.
Nothing would change if no one ever complained.
This was beautiful. I realized last year I had no relationship with my anger which made it dangerous when I touched that emotion. Now my anger is used in a productive manner and sometimes I have to sing or sance it out of ky body so it doesnt linger.
I love this soooo much! Thank you so much for sharing this with us. This is healing!
Girl, the work you are doing is priceless! Thank you.❤🌹
It is my absolute pleasure! Much love and joy to you!!!
I honestly cannot put into words how much this video spoke to me especially with a recent relationship I was in. Thank you so much from someone who is really in tune with their feelings and has always been told “I’m too sensitive, angry, aggressive etc” and that I wear my heart on my sleeve. I definitely view every feeling we as black women have as valid one is not more important over the other. I agree with everything you shared
PS I know that the reason why so many people call black women angry/aggressive/violent is because they know how powerful we are individually and as a whole and I believe that a lot of us have the ability to transmute and channel these emotions to create realities that serve our higher selves and those around us.
Much love and joy to you!!! This is such a beautiful revelation and truth! It's powerful! We are powerful! You have brightened my day. Thank you so much for choosing yourself. It's liberating!
YES!!!!
Oohh...who does this shame benefit? This! Thank you for this message 🤎🙏🏼
Yaaaaaaay! Thank YOU! Thanks so much for even watching. I'm so happy you felt me on this!!!
@@AleciaRenece 🤎🤎🤎 That's such a powerful question - because that shame serves SOMEONE'S purpose but not OUR purpose 🙌🏼
6:20 describes me and my mother and y’all I have pregnancy related heart failure and was a statistic for black maternal medical care and a chance to be taken seriously has caused me to have a lifelong heart problem 🦋
🫂🫂🫂 I am SO sorry this happened to you! That should have never occurred. You deserve so much better. 💛💛💛
You sued?
My ex told me: "You have anger issues!" I replied: "I don't have anger issues. I'm angry! And I have every right to be." He had no response. And now he's ex'd. And I'm free, me and happy!
Anger is definitely the spark, and when we're told not to feel anger we're actually being told "Don't destroy the hundreds of years of work that have been put in place to build these invisible structures of suppression built against you, you're supposed to just put up with that.". I love the woman's anger when properly channeled because she is the pillar of the community, she is central to culture, meaning when properly channeled our anger will raise generations of people much greater than ourselves who will destroy the foundations of these corrupt systems who benefit from our demise.
THIS. THIS THIS!!!
Unfortunately in April I became housing challenge because my daughter would not be able to continue to split the rent with me. This has caused a lot of stress as I’ve had to move back home and my mother has always hated me as a child and as an adult so going back destitute and needing a place to stay has her in control. She is disrespectful in front of my son, belittles all of the work that I’ve done all my life that now may not equal much, Then even with all of these bad things that of happened to me car breaking down at the same time moving out of an apartment to have to go to someone who is extremely toxic home and reminds you every day that they hate you being there and you working hard every day to earn money that I can’t really pay any higher rent that is being asked this is frustrating and I at times I’m calling the angry black woman when I am just an unsupported black woman who no one can understand because they’re not in the position that I am in.❤
💔💔💔🫂🫂🫂🌻🌻🌻 I know my words don't mean much, but I see you and I'm sending you so much love. You're doing amazing. I'm proud of you.
A BREAKTHROUGH IS AROUNDDDDDDD THE CORNER!
@@Naiki29 👏🏾👏🏾👏🏾👏🏾👏🏾
@@AleciaRenece Thank you so much Alecia I know that you have a lot our backs right during this season of joy and challenge so I’m at home here🦋♌️🌻🧁
Sounds like your mother is a narcissist 😮
thank you for your words. as i listened it made me think of mad by solange and gave it a listen. peace and blessings 🫶🏾✨
LOVE this song!!!
Loving your channel. Thankyou so much for being you. It sets us free.
Thank you, Alecia, well said!
Thank you so much for hearing my heart 💛🫂🌻🌺 Much love to yooooou!!!! 🥰
Anger is completely healthy when geared in the right direction. Even the bible says, BE ANGRY, and sin not.
ommggg im so happy I found you! you do not understand. you are beautiful human being
Thank you for confirming something. Bless you for the message.❤️❤️❤️
OMG, this reminds me of a time where I was extremely angry in life and I played that song by Solange called mad on repeat… I got a lot to be mad about but I have to let it go and channel it in positive ways. I’m still working on it, but it gets easier with time. I focus on what I want out of life, which is to be happy, and in a state of joy, regardless of my circumstances. I am now intentional about focusing my energy on solutions, and things that are only in my control. What is in my control is not tangible: my thinking, and positive outlook on life. Im deliberately no longer hyper focused on what upsets me about life. I feel comfortable resting and not overworking myself anymore, which has allowed me to grow and evolve in ways I wouldn’t have if I never slowed down. I want to thank you so much for validating and affirming my experiences in so many ways. Your channel is like the universe talking to me, and being my best friend through you. 🎉 ❤
LISTEEEEN!!! That song is SO liberating and free! Let me go cue it up! It's definitely a practice to funnel our anger, especially when we've been told that our anger is wrong. I love this! "What is in my control?" This is exactly how we should be speaking to ourselves in these moments.
I am honored by your kindness. Thank you for your generosity and love. Much love and joy to you!!!
@@AleciaRenece Yassss!!! I admire you some much. I feel my compliment was a little shallow so let me rewrite:Thank you for just being your authentic self by sharing your thoughts, experiences and feelings. You simply being and sharing yourself enables me to have a new sense of awareness specifically for loving, honoring, & being gracious/ compassionate with myself and therefore others. I really appreciate you taking the time to actually respond to us; it's really special to feel seen and be heard from a kind soul I truly relate to 😌. I am honored by YOUR kindness!!! Peace, blessings, and love to you, Alecia 💐💐💐💐💐🤗
This was well explained thank you ❤❤
Ms Renece
I heard your Live on Anger and I've been meaning to comment. I just wanted to say that you are wise beyond your years. Everytime, I listen to your videos, I learn something new. And I'm 64 Years Old. Thank you for all of my positive messages. I want to be just like you when I grow up.
Love Always,
Kim
I process my anger through art (raps and poetry) etc i learned about righteous anger and standing up for myself. I had to learn to tell people what im hurt by. I like the idea of rage rooms for sure. I also think black women are the scapegoats for society so they fear our anger
🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥
💛🌺🌻🫂💛🌺🌻🫂💛
I really ❤this perspective. Thank you for this because I needed to hear this.
First off I would love to say, great video. I enjoyed it. Being angry is a feeling and it’s normal to feel angry. Being able to control your anger is another thing. When people make the statement “angry black woman”, it is because of their actions and not the feeling itself. God bless you.
Thank you so much for watching and for your kindness. I hear what you're saying, and sure. Some people act on their anger in ways that aren't beneficial. I wish that were always the case, but unfortunately it's not. It's a racist and misogynoirist trope used to silence and dehumanize Black women... It's the same reason why reason why they call BW "masculine". They see and treat us as animals.
@@AleciaRenecethank you for responding. I totally agree with you. I love my black women and I will always show love and respect.
❤❤❤❤❤❤❤
🌻🌻🌻🌻🌻💛💛💛💛💛🫂🫂🫂🫂🫂
Great explanation! But angry keeps people away
Or draws the right people in. 💛 Righteous anger seeks justice.
@@AleciaRenece black women are alone
She’s talking pure nonsense and these women are gonna eat it all up lol
Fr fr tho
Not just Black women but all women.
Yes!!! All of this!! Anger can be very productive.
Absolutely!
Oh s!!!t, they still don't get ti.
This video has come at such a timely one. Anger is one of those strong emotions that I've had trouble processing and sometimes identifying it's existence. I have trouble processing and identifying my emotions in general but when it comes to anger I think somewhere along the way I got it in my head that it wasn't a good thing (which didn't help matters). I've gotten to a place where I've realized that it's not such a bad thing to be angry especially when there's so many things to be angry about. Now, if only I can identify when I'm actually angry.
To the average person, the previous sentence might seem odd but I'd like to put a name to it: alexithymia-an inability to describe and identify emotions.
The idea that black women can be "silenced" is hilarious tbh
unrelated but seeing the views at 1444 (444) i’ve been dealing with my anger lately and seeing this made me realize there’s beauty in my anger because i’m very passionate and that i carry a lot of emotions and is full of have a lot of care and love and the anger that i feel comes from that
I am angry that my technology is able to be manipulated in the lab, military, call centers, random racist cops with sting rays, and random cities on my phone. I am angry that although I graduated elementary, middle school and highschool in the same area. I'm homeless being forced to live in an all white community with 4 black families with my poor mother. I'm angry that I'm still living in America and have no economic or technological way to escape. I realized I've been angry. I'm just tired of dealing with it. But thanks for posting this, your right they make it seem like we are inhumane just because we get emotional whether it be anger or sexuality. My mom was praying today and I felt only anger at Christianity and the manipulative Christians that help kept me in debt and poverty from that Christian college.
I live to be happy and positive even in a bad situation but it is others who see this attitude as not caring about the situation or overly optimistic vibe doesn’t work for this Jamaican mother but as I know life can be cut short so I’m seeing life through 👓 no else has on when tough times occur
Well spoken.❤️🔥 Transmute.💖
Any other black women have random black men demaning you smile at them?
#ReplayGang 🔥
I'm SO happy you're here!
When a black woman is compared umfairly to some white 130 lb model then i can understand why she gets pissed
Have you watched the cop videos?
There are nice and sweet black american women like any other group of women . The woman speaking doesnt strike me as angry , bad attitude or mean btw
im not from america, But I have always seen Black Women to be loud and shrill and upleasant to watch or hear. Its not like someone told me to, but that is just the case how I consumed everything since childhood. From foreign media, to movies, every women expressed herself in such an extreme that it made me kinda not like them.
Yup. That's called Anti-Blackness and Misogynoir. It's global.
12:21 “my husband took me to a rage room” a *rage room* you say? Too the googles 👩🏽💻
Get manners. Shush now.
Italia: "blavk angry woman is just disgusting"
Experience.