Heart break?? nahhhh beachh i'm going through CHARACTER DEVELOPMENT!!! XD...(this keeps me going when times are tough and honestly i am so glad that Shannon mentioned the importance of perspective and the power using certain words can have when it comes to healing and understanding what you're going through in the healthiest way possible.)
@@shanboody RIGHTT!!! Sadly i can't remember where i got that one liner from from as everything i consume/learn just becomes a big gloppy disorganized mess. But, to the beautiful mind that articulated that so well, you are stupidd cool and if i could i would credit your cool self
No bullshit- this is the kind of video that I needed when I was younger. I still need it now, but I really I could’ve made so many better choices had I been able to hear this point of view and the wisdom in it. You’re doing important work, Shan. Thank you!
I agree! I have healed and I am in a thriving relationship but I missed having the best last year of high school with my best friends -- all of the experiences because I shut them out while I was going through this. I had sex with people I didn't care for, which I regret now. I don't even like thinking about the fact that i had those connections with anyone else. But you live and ya learn....... I was so depressed, and very suicidal -- I was hurt beyond belief. I feel that if I took a step back from all the emotions and tried to heal myself like how Shannon is suggesting, I could've been so much happier my senior year. But it's alright -- c'est la vie. I'm still healing honestly despite being in a good relationship but I am doing it with support & with a positive perspective thanks to my boyfriend & my therapist.
@@SonsOfLorgar a person's promiscuity is defined by them having multiple transient sexual relationships, so it does not matter if it is permitted the individual is still promiscuous.
Yoooo!!! No joke over 17 mins in and I just realized I swiped right on Sukhpreet a few days ago. (It’s was the picture showing her underarm hair that triggered the memory 😊) I’m looking for friends and I thought she was dope. Side note: Heyy Shan ☺️
If you don't have a record of a conversation you had with an ex as a reminder for why you don't need to be with that person... keep a list all the things that made you incompatible or things they did that were wrong or hurt you. I had a list like that and I would refer to it when I started to question if I really wanted to be with that person again. It helped a lot!
I didn't know if that was a healthy thing to do or not, but I'm a Huge fan of starting a conversation via Messenger and screenshot certain points that are deal breakers or things I need to think deeply about before responding without anger, and I Totally look at those when we have productive conversations
You may not know it but you help me a lot... I'm Iranian and muslim. In our culture open relationship or polygamic relationships are not well defiende. It is very hard for me to find a suitable mate to be comfortable with and share my interest with ... They are all very obsessed with my past. And you said soooo many accurate facts in here and in all your videos that make me feel much more comfortable and much more hopeful that I will find the person eventually ... I love you. You are beautiful inside and outside. Thank you again love ❤
Sheida Hedjazi Best of luck to you. I hope you find your perfect match! Dating is not easy, but is especially difficult in certain cultures when you are not traditional.
I like that these women are self aware of themselves and what they want in a relationship. It definitely comes from experience. Also!! What's the name of that song by Jared!? Waiting on another album..
Hey Shannon, if you see this I just wanted to let you know how much I appreciate you. It's been almost two years to the date when I experienced my first heartbreak and when you uploaded your video sharing your open letter to your ex's. I remember you responded to my comment on that video commending me for committing to that long distant relationship and wishing me healing. You have no idea how much light you brought to such a dark time I was going through. So much has changed since then, I've evolved into a completely different person. You've definitely taught me a lot about love and relationships. Something about the timing and topic of this video seemed like a full circle moment for me. Thank you for always producing quality content, it's certainly impacted who I am today
Yaaassssss Shan matchmaker!!!! I love that you partner with OkC! I always comment the same shit but found my life partner on OkC!! My sister found her partner too and they are happily married going on 6 years!! Love these videos!
R Bree it is most definitely not you!!! I had my share of trash lol honestly 4 days before I met my partner I was telling my best friend that I was going to give up and bam it happened!
This video is absolutely amazing! The advice you gave was so spot on, you really listened to your guests. Also, I love that point about addressing the root of why you’re attracted to a certain type of toxic person instead of just relating that problem to one individual! I noticed that i repeatedly seek out people who tend to be narcissistic and don’t reciprocate my love. So I noticed that it stems from my low self esteem/self hatred. Therefore I’ve decided to commit to myself and work on those issues, or else I’ll just find myself in a toxic relationship
And it doesn't help people in your situation when popular culture often misrepresent love by glorifying manipulative stalkers and abusive destructive behaviour as signs of "true love"(tm) Through stories like Twilight/50 shades etc.
When you have sex with someone, you physically, psychologically and chemically change your relationship. There are changes we cannot even pinpoint. I believe in casual sex and even people who have open relationships because everyone is different. However, really overstanding how this does change our perspective and interaction with said partner is so necessary. That’s why communication is key and something that should be threaded before stepping into these territories. If it weren’t true, then we would have the same exact obstacles with our friends and family. Interesting convo, love that it’s from the woman’s perspective. Would love a video on 🚩 RED FLAGS.
Correct me if I’m wrong but I don’t think society awards unhealthy monogamous relationship. Any relationship can be unhealthy. Rather that’s polyamorous or monogamous. If your partner is possessive, then that is a form a abuse. I don’t it’s the type of relationship but the person. The person was unhealthy
Yoooo, this video's so needs a different title, it just doesn't do it justice lolol. The content in it is soooooo fire and soooooo needed for soooo many ppl. I think so many ppl will miss out on it because they are probably like oh open relationships, not for me. I've skipped over it several times for that reason, but after binge watching your channel, I was like let me see what cousin Shan talking about here. SOOOOOOO glad I watched. Def going on a saved playlist.
If your ex assists you in keeping in touch with your following partner of a long distance relationship and you are all friends 13years down the road, I guess I did something right in that breakup. Also, I really like the sensibility of the partner priorities of your friends.
I’m currently going through a process of letting go of a close friendship that was one sided. I would say I am addicted to the lack of reciprocation because there’s a drive in my to make them change that and maybe they’d care for me. Turns out I just wasted 5 years of my life without being valued in a relationship I cared about so much. This will definitely bring me back on my feet
I never comment on anything so I hope this gets to you but I just want to say how amazing you are and thank you for your work. You are helping me so much in my first time of singledom in a very long time. Your work is much needed in our generation of confused dating ♥️
Happy birthday Thandiwe!!! I was just talking to my cousin about this, she misses her ex and I told her there’s never been a time in my life where I wasn’t thinking about SOMEONE! We born to do it, you just need a new fix. Hopefully a better addiction this time around
I'm freshly 18.. and I look up to Shan so much, her relationship is so healthy (from what she shares) and honestly I never really seen a relationship like hers ever and it facinates me so much.. it makes me want to be so much like her.. she's so professional and just Healthy all together about everything, biggest inspiration. I go and look through all of your videos to give me guidance. Gives me so much peace at the same time. ❤
I hate myself, Haven't talked to any of my friends in probably month or longer, just ain't felt like myself. Just want to be alone. Already feel alone. Nobody cares anyway. People say they do, but seems like they truly don't. Actions speak louder than words.
I know the feeling so well, however I tried to talk to a therapist and it became a little better, maybe that might be something for you. It really helps to seek out for help, so dont hesitate to do it.❤
Matchmaker matchmaker give me a match, find me a find, catch me a catch. But seriously I loved this video. I'm so scared and tired of dating. Is that bad? I just want friendships and experiences. ♥️
Shan, you are a godsend! #1: The Practice of Love = Altruism + Reciprocity. #2: The Foundation of Love = Trust, Comfort, Communication, and Respect. If your Love for a Person (yourself/significant other) lacks any of the elements of its Foundation, then it is not Love. It is an Addiction. Relationships based on Addictions, over time, are destructive. I wish I saw this 24 hours ago! Today, My Heart is Broken, But for Tomorrow, the Door is still Open.
I love your body language and how comfortable you are making these women feel. Your aura is amazing. I needed this video and I was crying half way through because I'm going through a breakup after 5 years and I'm not doing very well after week one. I needed to hear this new perspective and I'm gonna rewatch this often and write down the new "definitions" so that I can refer back to it when I need to. Thank you for this🙏🏽
Shan, luv this video! It is/was SOOOOOOOOO good and informative for so many reasons, on so many levels! I'm so happy you showcased women's experiences in ways that are substantive. You are truly living your purpose, sis! 😊😊 looks in lovingly for the open queer relationship experience....
This could not have come at a more perfect time. I've just left a 3 year long open relationship and I'm terrified that he was the best that I could get and I messed it up. I have to hope that it's not but I'm still terrified. Thankfully I'm not too heartbroken over him and, because of the open relationship, I had a guy on the side. I realised that the open relationship wasn't working anymore, I am polyamorous and want to be emotionally invested in others and he wasn't about that, he just wanted it to be purely sexual with other people.
I’ve been following you, Shan, for a while now and I’m familiar with Sukhpreet through a mutual friend. Every time I’ve watched your videos, it’s crossed my mind that she has this thing about her that reminds me of you.. happy to see Sukhpreet glowing 💜
I loved this. Its always nice to see your more counseling side in action on camera. Especially one to one. I'd enjoy more of this in various scenarios.
You look amaaaaazing in this 😍😍😍😍 I think it’s the eyeshadow and the inner corner highlight. Stay beautiful and thank you for the videos 💗💗💗 Love you. (whoever reads this comment please ask the Universe to send me good vibes, there’s a job I’ve been waiting to get the call for 😊 thank you guys, I’ll return the favor to whoever prays for me ✨)
Hey dear! May your plans and Allah’s align to be the same inshaAllah. & remember if by any chance you do not have it, it just meant there is something greater for you next. Keep us updated!
A. Emma Diallo That is so true! I aimed for a lower job, didn’t get it then took that as a chance to higher my standards, which led me to get an interview for the job I’m expecting now! I’ll let you know how everything goes love ✨🤞🏼
A. Emma Diallo yes, I got the job!!! So I ended up emailing them back about 2 weeks after, and everything kicked off from there. Im so thankful for the Universe. If I went into depth on the Universe’s blessings I could go on all day. Thank you to all high powers 💗✨
Love you Shan❤️ You touch on some great Topics..thank you for all your hard work and dedication to this channel and creating amazing content👏🏽👌🏽💪🏽 I’m 33 weeks pregnant with a little boy and I love watching your videos to get inspiration and knowledge on a ton of different subjects and my and I especially love husband the couple oriented content as well so hopefully in 2019 we can see more of you and Jared sharing on Marriage topics🤞🏽Stay Safe and May God continue to bless you and yours throughout the new year as well as anyone reading this😇🙏🏽
I watch every Single video, whether it's relevant to me right now or not, because i know it's gonna have a gem that i need for later. But I think Shan missed the mark a little with portraying love as providing value. It's way more fluid than that. Maybe a better direction would have been types of love, there doesnt have to be an "end". There can just a decrease or shift. But a great video still. My mind is full of gems. :)
I was worried from the title that you'd be bashing on open relationships... glad I gave it a chance, and that that wasn't where you took things. :) (And: been on OKC for an embarrassingly long time now... haven't loved some of their changes over recent years, but it's still the best dating app I've experienced, by far. Made some great connections there.)
How do the first 8 minutes of this video literally describe exactly what I'm going through right now?! Makes me feel good that I'm not alone and there are other strong women healing out there
I would think leaving an open relationship should extremely easy because you are not completely dependent and focused on one person. That is devastating because you don’t see yourself with any other person
This came at the right timing, thank you so much Shannon.. As I go through the process of completely ending my relationship, I came across an interesting meme that talks about toxic monogamy culture. Have you already made a video on that yet? I’d like to hear your perspective!
um okay, first of all, all of y'alls hair is absolutely beautiful!!! I LOVE Sukhpreet's hair. Secondly, this video really spoke to me and helped me understand more about this post break up period since I'm currently going through that. this is brilliant !!
Wow I needed this honestly like it took me a while to be okay with casual dating and feeling for what I like and don’t like and as I start to get comfortable with my casualty this video really brought more perspective and security for me to be more open as I desire
You probably met him many yrs ago? I have been on and off sites for yrs, and met nothing but horn dogs, narcissists and players. But, their profiles all say the same bullshit. I want love, long term, tired of the games, want someone sincere, blah, blah, blah. The majority of them want to screw and run. The very few guys who I know who met online that were serious, were only online for a very short time, and they met their future mate. They were obviously serious though, but very few are.
Shan I LOVE(haha)what you said about love being replaced with addiction. My question is have you then somehow gotten to the point where you tell Jared “I’m addicted to you” haha rather than “I love you” or are you just saying it’s overused after a breakup? Hope I’m making any sense lol
@@shanboody it's an interesting point of view, and a biochemically correct one! That said, while the love, and the initial infatuation even more so is a form of addiction, I personally view my relationship comittments as an alliance of trust and a comittment to unconditional honesty and mutual support between equals :)
i loved this and it has helped me so much and I am going to keep on watching it, I recently just broke up with my boyfriend , well he broke this off the day after I told him that I've lost my brother , so I had two major heartbreaks my brothers death and my boyfriend dumping me , It's so hard I am unable to cope but I will be okay
If he broke up under those circumstances, honestly, you will be better off alone or with someone that won't abandon you at first hint of serious emotional needs.
Thank you for this video! I had a friend for years! We were kind’a interested in each other but we were in a monogamous relationship... i got single, he got into a relationship, it was just a bad timing. Then we both got single and we decided to give a go. We had agreements and such and such, even making this a long distance thing... we met everytime i travel in his area and we had a good time. In the meantime, we both had other people “on the side” who knew about each other. I thought we were doing so good until he started ghosting me for one of his “gf” although he always reassured me that i was his “main” one... it ended suddenly, i guess. I didn’t try to get back communicating with him. Just wanted to share maybe get some advice on why i didn’t work when it seemed to have went so good.,,
I can imagine the anxiety in being in such a relationship, constantly wondering if you are doing the wrong thing, constantly feeling his this "on-the-side" might steal his heart. I don't know how you will take this but I am saying this with all the love in my heart. You didn't do anything wrong. The structure of that relationship was setup for a heartbreak. There is something as commitment between two people in a relationship. I mean like if you get into serious business, you sign contracts, things to abide by for the partnership to be successful. Don't do this open thing anymore, you will be heartbroken again. You are a human being, you deserved to be loved and respected, you deserve faithfulness and you are designed to be faithful too. don't complicate your life. trust to find friendship that will lead to a relationship with someone who shares same values as you. know that you will have to sacrifice to make the relationship work and the person will have to sacrifice to make things work too. then you will push through and your relationship will keep getting better. This might sound ol'skool but babygirl, our hearts are made for stable relationships, they're more secure that way. I hope it helps.
ope katakata yeah, i guess i was more prepared in giving this open relationship a try. I started to feel that he cared more about that “side chick” more then me, i had a feeling he was scared to hurt her as much as he would hurt me. As soon as i felt that, i embraced myself for the inevitable. I guess that’s why i didn’t took it as bad as i would have had because i prepared myself emotionally of what was to come.
@@LalouveMoonchild Yeah....it is complicated, human feelings and emotions are complicated already even between 2 people, how much more with 3 and 4 people.
Sukhpreet has such a peaceful aura about her
Genesis Sara she’s also so self aware and seems to know exactly what she wants
Heart break?? nahhhh beachh i'm going through CHARACTER DEVELOPMENT!!! XD...(this keeps me going when times are tough and honestly i am so glad that Shannon mentioned the importance of perspective and the power using certain words can have when it comes to healing and understanding what you're going through in the healthiest way possible.)
That’s a way better way of saying it !
@@shanboody RIGHTT!!! Sadly i can't remember where i got that one liner from from as everything i consume/learn just becomes a big gloppy disorganized mess. But, to the beautiful mind that articulated that so well, you are stupidd cool and if i could i would credit your cool self
No bullshit- this is the kind of video that I needed when I was younger. I still need it now, but I really I could’ve made so many better choices had I been able to hear this point of view and the wisdom in it. You’re doing important work, Shan. Thank you!
Better late than never?
Hope your relationship experiences improve with these advice :)
I agree! I have healed and I am in a thriving relationship but I missed having the best last year of high school with my best friends -- all of the experiences because I shut them out while I was going through this. I had sex with people I didn't care for, which I regret now. I don't even like thinking about the fact that i had those connections with anyone else. But you live and ya learn....... I was so depressed, and very suicidal -- I was hurt beyond belief. I feel that if I took a step back from all the emotions and tried to heal myself like how Shannon is suggesting, I could've been so much happier my senior year. But it's alright -- c'est la vie. I'm still healing honestly despite being in a good relationship but I am doing it with support & with a positive perspective thanks to my boyfriend & my therapist.
Must you be promiscuous to grow?
wow i feel so educated on moving on from relationships, despite never being in one LOL
Jasleen S you’re not the only one. It may seem bad at first but it good at the end.
You’re such a huge influence in my life. Thank you for being so informative.
Hey Michelle thank you!
Shan BOODY AHHHH my morning is made!!! Thank you!
If you naïvely give a narcissist permission to be promiscuous, they will take you for granted and embrace the promiscuity!
For sure more reason to give them free reign to show their true colors sooner
Is it really promiscuity if it's permitted?
@@SonsOfLorgar a person's promiscuity is defined by them having multiple transient sexual relationships, so it does not matter if it is permitted the individual is still promiscuous.
@@eblots and, you make that sound like some big crime...
Thats a good point. My husband has every freedom and he doesn't act on it. Thats why i chose him as a life partner 😊
Yoooo!!! No joke over 17 mins in and I just realized I swiped right on Sukhpreet a few days ago. (It’s was the picture showing her underarm hair that triggered the memory 😊) I’m looking for friends and I thought she was dope.
Side note: Heyy Shan ☺️
Omg I hope she sees this!
you look for friends on dating sites?
samy sosa yes there is a category for it. It’s says “new friends”. It’s good for people that don’t go out much but want to interact.
Vegan Roxy hi!!! Let’s hang out :-)
Sukhpreet Purewal for sure! 😊. Email me Roxannewindham62@gmail.com. Lol I’m old I don’t have social media lol.
If you don't have a record of a conversation you had with an ex as a reminder for why you don't need to be with that person... keep a list all the things that made you incompatible or things they did that were wrong or hurt you. I had a list like that and I would refer to it when I started to question if I really wanted to be with that person again. It helped a lot!
Erin P it actually seems like a very good idea!!!
I didn't know if that was a healthy thing to do or not, but I'm a Huge fan of starting a conversation via Messenger and screenshot certain points that are deal breakers or things I need to think deeply about before responding without anger, and I Totally look at those when we have productive conversations
I made that list and referred to it everytime I thought I missed her........boy, did it help me see that I was crazy for dealing with all that BS
Umm.. fidelity includes being faithful to an idea/ belief and doesn’t mean being exclusive. I see people get that confused often.
You may not know it but you help me a lot... I'm Iranian and muslim. In our culture open relationship or polygamic relationships are not well defiende. It is very hard for me to find a suitable mate to be comfortable with and share my interest with ... They are all very obsessed with my past. And you said soooo many accurate facts in here and in all your videos that make me feel much more comfortable and much more hopeful that I will find the person eventually ... I love you. You are beautiful inside and outside. Thank you again love ❤
Sheida Hedjazi Best of luck to you. I hope you find your perfect match! Dating is not easy, but is especially difficult in certain cultures when you are not traditional.
Shan you continually create informative, creative and necessary content😭 Thank you so much ❤️
Ahhhh the sweetest thanks for being here oxo
I like that these women are self aware of themselves and what they want in a relationship. It definitely comes from experience.
Also!! What's the name of that song by Jared!? Waiting on another album..
I’m waiting too!!!
Hey Shannon, if you see this I just wanted to let you know how much I appreciate you. It's been almost two years to the date when I experienced my first heartbreak and when you uploaded your video sharing your open letter to your ex's. I remember you responded to my comment on that video commending me for committing to that long distant relationship and wishing me healing. You have no idea how much light you brought to such a dark time I was going through. So much has changed since then, I've evolved into a completely different person. You've definitely taught me a lot about love and relationships. Something about the timing and topic of this video seemed like a full circle moment for me. Thank you for always producing quality content, it's certainly impacted who I am today
Omg Kayla this is the absolute sweetest
I just got out of a 7 year relationship. I needed this right now, thank you 💚
Yaaassssss Shan matchmaker!!!! I love that you partner with OkC! I always comment the same shit but found my life partner on OkC!! My sister found her partner too and they are happily married going on 6 years!! Love these videos!
I always favorite your comments ha!
Wow I just find trash 🙃🙃 maybe it’s me
R Bree it is most definitely not you!!! I had my share of trash lol honestly 4 days before I met my partner I was telling my best friend that I was going to give up and bam it happened!
Angie G hey sis, I’ve tried a handful of times and then I get my feelings hurt 😔I’m glad it worked for you but I guess everyone is different
This video is absolutely amazing! The advice you gave was so spot on, you really listened to your guests. Also, I love that point about addressing the root of why you’re attracted to a certain type of toxic person instead of just relating that problem to one individual! I noticed that i repeatedly seek out people who tend to be narcissistic and don’t reciprocate my love. So I noticed that it stems from my low self esteem/self hatred. Therefore I’ve decided to commit to myself and work on those issues, or else I’ll just find myself in a toxic relationship
This is incredibly self aware! You can do amazing things with this mindset
And it doesn't help people in your situation when popular culture often misrepresent love by glorifying manipulative stalkers and abusive destructive behaviour as signs of "true love"(tm)
Through stories like Twilight/50 shades etc.
Shan BOODY thank you! I loveee your videos btw!!!
When you have sex with someone, you physically, psychologically and chemically change your relationship. There are changes we cannot even pinpoint. I believe in casual sex and even people who have open relationships because everyone is different. However, really overstanding how this does change our perspective and interaction with said partner is so necessary. That’s why communication is key and something that should be threaded before stepping into these territories. If it weren’t true, then we would have the same exact obstacles with our friends and family. Interesting convo, love that it’s from the woman’s perspective.
Would love a video on 🚩 RED FLAGS.
LOVE this comment
Correct me if I’m wrong but I don’t think society awards unhealthy monogamous relationship. Any relationship can be unhealthy. Rather that’s polyamorous or monogamous. If your partner is possessive, then that is a form a abuse. I don’t it’s the type of relationship but the person. The person was unhealthy
I saw a comment about wanting a video on red flags I second that.
This was a very real convo and I’m glad you didn’t choose to avoid it just because many people already have negative views on open relationships.
Yoooo, this video's so needs a different title, it just doesn't do it justice lolol. The content in it is soooooo fire and soooooo needed for soooo many ppl. I think so many ppl will miss out on it because they are probably like oh open relationships, not for me. I've skipped over it several times for that reason, but after binge watching your channel, I was like let me see what cousin Shan talking about here. SOOOOOOO glad I watched. Def going on a saved playlist.
If your ex assists you in keeping in touch with your following partner of a long distance relationship and you are all friends 13years down the road, I guess I did something right in that breakup.
Also, I really like the sensibility of the partner priorities of your friends.
I like when she said “worry about being great to good ppl”…
I’m currently going through a process of letting go of a close friendship that was one sided. I would say I am addicted to the lack of reciprocation because there’s a drive in my to make them change that and maybe they’d care for me. Turns out I just wasted 5 years of my life without being valued in a relationship I cared about so much. This will definitely bring me back on my feet
I never comment on anything so I hope this gets to you but I just want to say how amazing you are and thank you for your work. You are helping me so much in my first time of singledom in a very long time. Your work is much needed in our generation of confused dating ♥️
Rubina! I see you and I thank you! so so sweet
Adding this to my favorite videos playlist, for my future break up.
Its my birthday today, and I’m experiencing love “withdrawals” right now. So this video is the medicine I needed. Thank you. ♥️
Happy birthday Thandiwe!!! I was just talking to my cousin about this, she misses her ex and I told her there’s never been a time in my life where I wasn’t thinking about SOMEONE! We born to do it, you just need a new fix. Hopefully a better addiction this time around
@@shanboody thank you, Shan! to a better addiction! LMAO!
I'm freshly 18.. and I look up to Shan so much, her relationship is so healthy (from what she shares) and honestly I never really seen a relationship like hers ever and it facinates me so much.. it makes me want to be so much like her.. she's so professional and just Healthy all together about everything, biggest inspiration.
I go and look through all of your videos to give me guidance. Gives me so much peace at the same time. ❤
I hate myself, Haven't talked to any of my friends in probably month or longer, just ain't felt like myself. Just want to be alone. Already feel alone. Nobody cares anyway. People say they do, but seems like they truly don't. Actions speak louder than words.
I know the feeling so well, however I tried to talk to a therapist and it became a little better, maybe that might be something for you. It really helps to seek out for help, so dont hesitate to do it.❤
Matchmaker matchmaker give me a match, find me a find, catch me a catch. But seriously I loved this video. I'm so scared and tired of dating. Is that bad? I just want friendships and experiences. ♥️
Shan, you are a godsend!
#1: The Practice of Love = Altruism + Reciprocity.
#2: The Foundation of Love = Trust, Comfort, Communication, and Respect.
If your Love for a Person (yourself/significant other) lacks any of the elements of its Foundation, then it is not Love.
It is an Addiction.
Relationships based on Addictions, over time, are destructive.
I wish I saw this 24 hours ago!
Today, My Heart is Broken, But for Tomorrow, the Door is still Open.
Could this video not come at a better timing! “You’re not in love, you’re just withdrawing” . Thank you Shan 🌞🌺
I love your body language and how comfortable you are making these women feel. Your aura is amazing. I needed this video and I was crying half way through because I'm going through a breakup after 5 years and I'm not doing very well after week one. I needed to hear this new perspective and I'm gonna rewatch this often and write down the new "definitions" so that I can refer back to it when I need to. Thank you for this🙏🏽
How can I get a counseling session with Shannon?
daja crutchfield check her bio!
Shan, luv this video! It is/was SOOOOOOOOO good and informative for so many reasons, on so many levels! I'm so happy you showcased women's experiences in ways that are substantive. You are truly living your purpose, sis! 😊😊 looks in lovingly for the open queer relationship experience....
This could not have come at a more perfect time. I've just left a 3 year long open relationship and I'm terrified that he was the best that I could get and I messed it up. I have to hope that it's not but I'm still terrified. Thankfully I'm not too heartbroken over him and, because of the open relationship, I had a guy on the side. I realised that the open relationship wasn't working anymore, I am polyamorous and want to be emotionally invested in others and he wasn't about that, he just wanted it to be purely sexual with other people.
I clicked sooo fast!!! This is soo interesting to me
Morning Kasia
👀👀👀
Too afraid to date again after my recent breakup but I’ll watch this video and take notes for the future!!
Love your videos for so many reasons
Morning Danie
@@shanboody morning boo!!
I’ve been following you, Shan, for a while now and I’m familiar with Sukhpreet through a mutual friend. Every time I’ve watched your videos, it’s crossed my mind that she has this thing about her that reminds me of you.. happy to see Sukhpreet glowing 💜
I loved this. Its always nice to see your more counseling side in action on camera. Especially one to one. I'd enjoy more of this in various scenarios.
You look amaaaaazing in this 😍😍😍😍 I think it’s the eyeshadow and the inner corner highlight. Stay beautiful and thank you for the videos 💗💗💗 Love you. (whoever reads this comment please ask the Universe to send me good vibes, there’s a job I’ve been waiting to get the call for 😊 thank you guys, I’ll return the favor to whoever prays for me ✨)
Sending good vibes! Hope u get that job oxo
Hey dear! May your plans and Allah’s align to be the same inshaAllah. & remember if by any chance you do not have it, it just meant there is something greater for you next. Keep us updated!
A. Emma Diallo That is so true! I aimed for a lower job, didn’t get it then took that as a chance to higher my standards, which led me to get an interview for the job I’m expecting now! I’ll let you know how everything goes love ✨🤞🏼
maha alsultany soooo do you have any news?
A. Emma Diallo yes, I got the job!!! So I ended up emailing them back about 2 weeks after, and everything kicked off from there. Im so thankful for the Universe. If I went into depth on the Universe’s blessings I could go on all day. Thank you to all high powers 💗✨
Love you Shan❤️ You touch on some great Topics..thank you for all your hard work and dedication to this channel and creating amazing content👏🏽👌🏽💪🏽 I’m 33 weeks pregnant with a little boy and I love watching your videos to get inspiration and knowledge on a ton of different subjects and my and I especially love husband the couple oriented content as well so hopefully in 2019 we can see more of you and Jared sharing on Marriage topics🤞🏽Stay Safe and May God continue to bless you and yours throughout the new year as well as anyone reading this😇🙏🏽
Yes! Ethical practisers, love that term!
I watch every Single video, whether it's relevant to me right now or not, because i know it's gonna have a gem that i need for later. But I think Shan missed the mark a little with portraying love as providing value. It's way more fluid than that. Maybe a better direction would have been types of love, there doesnt have to be an "end". There can just a decrease or shift.
But a great video still. My mind is full of gems. :)
'Be great to good people', yes!!!!!!
Shannon! Why are you amazing and it’s refreshing to hear you say these things because this is how I feel and it’s hard to make people understand ❤️
I'm glad there was value for you!
Thank you for adding this video. I just ended an open relationship and this helps since most people don't understand.
I was worried from the title that you'd be bashing on open relationships... glad I gave it a chance, and that that wasn't where you took things. :)
(And: been on OKC for an embarrassingly long time now... haven't loved some of their changes over recent years, but it's still the best dating app I've experienced, by far. Made some great connections there.)
Shannon’s comment section always makes me happy. I love y’all lol
Sukhpreet is a calm, peaceful queen
wow shannnnnnnon I’ve been crying everyday and this helped so much
Hope you can stop now from her wisdom
Reframing Strategies 2.0-it’s “LOVELY”😊
How do the first 8 minutes of this video literally describe exactly what I'm going through right now?! Makes me feel good that I'm not alone and there are other strong women healing out there
Everyone in the video is so beautiful 😍 I cannot!
I’d love a video on addiction vs love
I would think leaving an open relationship should extremely easy because you are not completely dependent and focused on one person. That is devastating because you don’t see yourself with any other person
This is so helpful whether in an open relationship or not. Goodness, I wish I had this during my last breakup!
I needed to see this
No Nathalia, it needed to see you ❤️
I always get lube commercials before Shan’s videos 😂😂😂😂😂
So so so many gems in this video! Love it
This came at the right timing, thank you so much Shannon.. As I go through the process of completely ending my relationship, I came across an interesting meme that talks about toxic monogamy culture. Have you already made a video on that yet? I’d like to hear your perspective!
Look at Shan’s body language compared to her guests. You’re amazing Shan - living in your purpose.
um okay, first of all, all of y'alls hair is absolutely beautiful!!! I LOVE Sukhpreet's hair.
Secondly, this video really spoke to me and helped me understand more about this post break up period since I'm currently going through that. this is brilliant !!
U always give a unique and educated perspective on the things you're discussing. I appreciate this channel a lot, thanks shan:)
Hair & make up is everything Shan!!
Wow I needed this honestly like it took me a while to be okay with casual dating and feeling for what I like and don’t like and as I start to get comfortable with my casualty this video really brought more perspective and security for me to be more open as I desire
Met my husbaand on okcupid😃
I met my boyfriend of 4plus years on okcupid😊
You probably met him many yrs ago? I have been on and off sites for yrs, and met nothing but horn dogs, narcissists and players. But, their profiles all say the same bullshit.
I want love, long term, tired of the games, want someone sincere, blah, blah, blah.
The majority of them want to screw and run.
The very few guys who I know who met online that were serious, were only online for a very short time, and they met their future mate.
They were obviously serious though, but very few are.
Wow. I learned a lot. Definitely changed my mindset with how to let go of what I’m use to. Thanks for sharing!
This was so informative and uplifting. Keep it up!!
Coming back here 2nd time this week for that good good wisdom
Thanks Shan. Been going through the same thing. Great to have this explored on your channel X
This video is fantastic! Not going through withdrawals atm but I will be saving this to my faves for when I am ❤️❤️❤️
Shan I LOVE(haha)what you said about love being replaced with addiction. My question is have you then somehow gotten to the point where you tell Jared “I’m addicted to you” haha rather than “I love you” or are you just saying it’s overused after a breakup? Hope I’m making any sense lol
We actually do sometimes say “I’m so addicted to you” but it’s an addiction I’d choose so that’s love to me!
@@shanboody it's an interesting point of view, and a biochemically correct one!
That said, while the love, and the initial infatuation even more so is a form of addiction, I personally view my relationship comittments as an alliance of trust and a comittment to unconditional honesty and mutual support between equals :)
Shan BOODY ah!! Makes perfect sense. Thank you 💕
I've never used the term mind-blown unironically until this video 🤯
Damn this was SO helpful. Thank you so much for uploading this type of content
I wish I could give this 1000 likes.
Another great vid feeling inspired,, I appreciate how much you give while still committing to your own happiness 💋
i loved this and it has helped me so much and I am going to keep on watching it, I recently just broke up with my boyfriend , well he broke this off the day after I told him that I've lost my brother , so I had two major heartbreaks my brothers death and my boyfriend dumping me , It's so hard I am unable to cope but I will be okay
If he broke up under those circumstances, honestly, you will be better off alone or with someone that won't abandon you at first hint of serious emotional needs.
Sending you love and my condolences
@@MsNaj15 thank you very much
Nice ad for OkCupid, but those algorithms don't always get it right. Sometimes they can be waaaaay off LOL
Girl...i swear you're always delivering!! I ALWAYS love the conversations you're exploring.
One of my favorite videos. 💝❤️🙏
Good morning Shan 😁
Morning Milady!!
I love the 5 tips & how you broke them down!
This was soooooo good Shan! Thank you for this ❤❤❤
So I had to pause the video to leave a comment You look beautiful. Okay back to the video
Sukhpreet is SOOO BEAUTIFUL!!! 👀🔥♥️♥️♥️‼️‼️🌸🌸🌸🥰🥰🥰🥰
💍
wow your hair looks amazing. Great video!
High quality videos... always💯
Needed this
Hey Elma 😌
Love your drive lady ! Continue being you.
Killed it! 🔥
what an amazing video, ty shan!!!
Great Video! I truly enjoyed this! Very interesting
I appreciate you Shan! 💓
Learned so much, thank you!!!!
An update on if they progressed with the guys would be good!
Thank you for this video! I had a friend for years! We were kind’a interested in each other but we were in a monogamous relationship... i got single, he got into a relationship, it was just a bad timing. Then we both got single and we decided to give a go. We had agreements and such and such, even making this a long distance thing... we met everytime i travel in his area and we had a good time. In the meantime, we both had other people “on the side” who knew about each other. I thought we were doing so good until he started ghosting me for one of his “gf” although he always reassured me that i was his “main” one... it ended suddenly, i guess. I didn’t try to get back communicating with him. Just wanted to share maybe get some advice on why i didn’t work when it seemed to have went so good.,,
I can imagine the anxiety in being in such a relationship, constantly wondering if you are doing the wrong thing, constantly feeling his this "on-the-side" might steal his heart. I don't know how you will take this but I am saying this with all the love in my heart. You didn't do anything wrong. The structure of that relationship was setup for a heartbreak. There is something as commitment between two people in a relationship. I mean like if you get into serious business, you sign contracts, things to abide by for the partnership to be successful. Don't do this open thing anymore, you will be heartbroken again. You are a human being, you deserved to be loved and respected, you deserve faithfulness and you are designed to be faithful too. don't complicate your life. trust to find friendship that will lead to a relationship with someone who shares same values as you. know that you will have to sacrifice to make the relationship work and the person will have to sacrifice to make things work too. then you will push through and your relationship will keep getting better. This might sound ol'skool but babygirl, our hearts are made for stable relationships, they're more secure that way. I hope it helps.
ope katakata yeah, i guess i was more prepared in giving this open relationship a try. I started to feel that he cared more about that “side chick” more then me, i had a feeling he was scared to hurt her as much as he would hurt me. As soon as i felt that, i embraced myself for the inevitable. I guess that’s why i didn’t took it as bad as i would have had because i prepared myself emotionally of what was to come.
@@LalouveMoonchild Yeah....it is complicated, human feelings and emotions are complicated already even between 2 people, how much more with 3 and 4 people.
She’s so intelligent.
Wise words, Shan!!!