4:37 - "you feel like a fraud some days". Totally. Some days I give my kids little spiels in Swedish that's are fluent and perfect that I forget I'm speaking Swedish... other days I forget the word for "socks" or something stupid and so I'm like "Put the things on your feet... the things that go under your shoes."
Thank you so much for the encouragement. I really appreciate it. Am raising my kids bilingual, they are able to hold a conversation in the minority language but people keep telling me that my child will forget everything once they go to school. I wish I had the confidence to tell them how am uninterested in their negative energy.
Thank you so much for watching! First of all, congrats on raising kids that can have a conversation in the minority language 👏. That is no easy feat! It's funny how before kids are speaking, people say, "That will never work" and when it has, they *still* have negative comments. I wish people would focus more on how far you've come and the Herculean effort it took to get there, rather than the lifelong battle of balancing majority language exposure with minority language exposure. I am sorry some people don't acknowledge that. I believe if you are intentional enough to have succeeded up to this point, you'll find new, creative ways to keep the minority language alive. 🙂
I said something like that to someone the other day when I was drinking and I have been feeling really bad about it since. I meant it as an encouragement to persevere, but I think it came across more negative. Hopefully the people saying things like that to you are like me and feel bad about it!!
I found your channel today! We're a mixed family where I am the sole input of French (non-native) for my daughters, living in the US. Though there are some speakers of French here, they are few and far between. It was so encouraging to see this channel because you and I are in the same boat! Doing the same thing! I also have my master's in second language acquisition and am raising my girls in a language my partner doesn't speak. It's a challenge that few people understand. I wanted to say thank you for doing what you're doing and normalizing something that most people don't really understand. My daughter is almost 3 and i have a newborn. I definitely question it some days when it's harder for me to find my words. Its so cool to see the fruits of your labor though as my daughter begins developing more complex speech in both languages. I've actually documented her speech from when she was only 7 weeks old! Either way it can really be difficult at times but I'm so happy to have found what you do!
Hello and congratulations on your newborn and your efforts raising your children so far in French! Also, thank you so much for reaching out! French is easier to find resources for compared to a lot of less commonly taught languages, but French speakers aren't easy to find. As you said, same boat! As I've gone down this path, I am finding out that there are success stories that do normalize this experience, but they're buried for several reasons (I have thoughts on this--stay tuned for a video about it at some point). Since you're in the SLA field, you might want to look up this article. If you don't have access anymore, I can email it to you--let me know. The situation is different (two L2 English speakers raising a child in English in China), but I found it so inspiring to hear some of the same struggles I can relate to documented in an academic way. Spoiler alert: When he moves to Canada eventually, everything is just fine and their efforts have paid off! Liu, W., & Lin, X. (2019). Family language policy in English as a foreign language: a case study from China to Canada. Language Policy, 18(2), 191-207. doi.org/10.1007/s10993-018-9475-5 Also Christine Jernigan's book Family Language Learning is awesome so far and normalizes our exact experience as foreign language parents. Sometimes you just want to know that it'll all be ok in the end. These resources have really helped me. :)
Stéfanie, j’ai regardé un tas de tes vidéos (both older and newer) et elles m’ont aidé beaucoup! Je t’apprécie TELLEMENT!! I’ve spoken to my 3 year old in Louisiana French (my heritage language, and the first language of my grandparents who are no longer with us) and have exposed him to children’s media in International French since the moment he was born. Speaking my family dialect of French has always felt natural to me, but it’s still not my first language, and I stutter, so I have a lot of linguistic insecurity and feel so inadequate in my ability to pass on the language of my heritage and culture to my child. Especially with my stutter, it’s sometimes easier to get a word out in my native language, English. From when he was about 6 months old until he was 2, I had the privilege of being a stay-at-home dad, so I was interacting with him and exposing him to French language media most of the day while my wife was at work. At the time, he was saying parts of French words like "manj" for "manger" (which he would say while making the ASL sign for "to eat"). A year ago, though, he started daycare, and that was around the time that he started saying a lot of words, but they were almost all in English. Around that time, I got really discouraged, and my self-confidence tanked, so while I never gave up, I did start to slack off a lot and would resort to English a lot of times, because I thought I was clearly incapable and that I had "failed my grandparents" by giving up too easily. I’ve since recommitted and am doing better, but god, is it a constant uphill battle when you’re drowning in an ocean of anglophones with not a lot of community support. This is one reason I want to move back home to South Louisiana. There are French immersion schools there and a surprisingly strong community of young Cajun and Creole parents attempting to raise their children in their heritage languages. Now, at 3, he does speak mostly in English, but he does mix in some French words, and he understands everything I say to him in French. But he surprised me the other day, because he seems to understand the concept of people speaking different languages (or at least he associates English with my wife and French with me). Often, when I ask him in French, "Tu veux compter pour moi?" he’ll just start counting in English, but the other day, I asked more specifically, "Tu veux compter en français pour moi?" He actually counted to 10 in FRENCH! 😭🥹🥲 I thought I was going to die of happiness. Even though he’s been responding a lot in English, I’ve been trying to use a lot of positive reinforcement. So, like, when I point to a dog and ask him in French, "C’est quoi, cet animal?" and he responds with "dog," I’ll respond with something like, "Oui, c’est ça! Maman l’appelle un dog en anglais mais comment est-ce que Papa appelle ça en français?" And he’ll think for a few seconds and say "Chien!" When you’re struggling with linguistic insecurity, the little daily wins like this are huge!
I can't express how happy I am to receive your comment! You have overcome so much and I'm encouraged by YOU and your perseverance, especially in the face of your speech difficulties. You're an inspiration. I loved reading where you speak about dying of happiness when your son spoke French because I can relate to this SO MUCH! I feel like we all have those huge (but seemingly so tiny to everyone else) moments that show us we are on the right track and encourage us to keep going. I'm so glad that I could also encourage you. Please keep it up! Don't be discouraged by the sea of anglophones. Can you visit Louisiana and maybe even try to get him to attend a few days of immersion school in your local town? You'd be surprised what you can achieve by just asking and they might be super supportive of your efforts too. It might pique his interest some more and help keep that flame alive until you can find more members for your language village. Keep up the great work! And feel free to reach out anytime for more inspiration.
Thank you for the encouraging words. Spanish is my first language and I´m raising my child in English in a Spanish speaking community. My child prefers to communicate in English. She speaks Spanish with an accent and makes the same grammatical mistakes non-natives make, but from what I have observed from others' responses, it´s easy to understand most of the time. The comments coming from people I can´t get away from were that it was impossible to understand what she was saying and I should switch to the majority language or she would be bullied at school (she was three or four at the time). At her Spanish speaking school with enough hours of English per week to be considered bilingual, I got similar comments from the teachers. I was completely alone in this endeavour and I felt discouraged at times. We are making great progress
Thank you for watching and sharing your experience. I'm so sorry you had to endure so many negative comments from people you trust like your daughter's teachers. This only makes an endeavor that is already so difficult even harder. It is hard to stay encouraged some days. One thing that I realized recently is that people assume that my son is incomprehensible in English because he had a French accent, but actually often it's just because he is a toddler and speaks English like a toddler. But people who know he is bilingual sometimes assume first that the reason they can't understand him is because he is bilingual, not because he is young. Perhaps it is somewhat influenced by his French accent in English, but I don't believe this is the only reason or even the main reason. (If your child has an accent in the majority language, savor it! It means your efforts are working and it will be gone before you know it! I wish I had told myself that early on.) I'm glad you're making progress. You should be proud of how far you've come!
The best advice in my humble opinion is to improve our own second language!! I've been trying to teach English as a second language to my 3.5 yo daughter and she also goes to school where her teacher is a native speaker and a can truly say that 99% of the English that she knows comes from our interaction. Unfortunately I'm not proficient so I should improve myself.. it's really hard sometimes...
Go for it! Of course, proficiency plays a role, but there is no reason you can't pass along what you know, regardless of your proficiency level. What is holding you back?
Thank you so much for watching and for your kind words! I hope to show through my videos that anyone with proficiency and determination can do what I am doing, at least until their child is my son's age. I'm glad this video inspired you!
Thanks so much for watching and commenting! You should strive to provide as much input as possible. The more, the better! But the general rule of thumb is that for your child to be a speaker of that language, he or she should receive input and interaction in that language for at least around 25% to 1/3 of his or her waking hours. However, the most important thing is that there is a communicative need and that the time spent in that language is interactive, especially at the beginning.
Thanks for watching! I really like @bilinguitos and of course @amy_ourmlhome (because I interviewed her a few months ago for this channel!). And, although this person is a native Spanish speaker, I also like @bilingualplaydate because her husband is a non-native speaker of Spanish and she posts really encouraging things about spouses who choose to speak their non-native language to support bilingualism.
4:37 - "you feel like a fraud some days". Totally. Some days I give my kids little spiels in Swedish that's are fluent and perfect that I forget I'm speaking Swedish... other days I forget the word for "socks" or something stupid and so I'm like "Put the things on your feet... the things that go under your shoes."
I've totally been there! Pushing through those tough times and staying in the minority language even when it's painful makes all the difference.
Thank you so much for the encouragement. I really appreciate it. Am raising my kids bilingual, they are able to hold a conversation in the minority language but people keep telling me that my child will forget everything once they go to school. I wish I had the confidence to tell them how am uninterested in their negative energy.
Thank you so much for watching! First of all, congrats on raising kids that can have a conversation in the minority language 👏. That is no easy feat!
It's funny how before kids are speaking, people say, "That will never work" and when it has, they *still* have negative comments. I wish people would focus more on how far you've come and the Herculean effort it took to get there, rather than the lifelong battle of balancing majority language exposure with minority language exposure. I am sorry some people don't acknowledge that.
I believe if you are intentional enough to have succeeded up to this point, you'll find new, creative ways to keep the minority language alive. 🙂
I said something like that to someone the other day when I was drinking and I have been feeling really bad about it since. I meant it as an encouragement to persevere, but I think it came across more negative. Hopefully the people saying things like that to you are like me and feel bad about it!!
I found your channel today! We're a mixed family where I am the sole input of French (non-native) for my daughters, living in the US. Though there are some speakers of French here, they are few and far between. It was so encouraging to see this channel because you and I are in the same boat! Doing the same thing! I also have my master's in second language acquisition and am raising my girls in a language my partner doesn't speak. It's a challenge that few people understand. I wanted to say thank you for doing what you're doing and normalizing something that most people don't really understand. My daughter is almost 3 and i have a newborn. I definitely question it some days when it's harder for me to find my words. Its so cool to see the fruits of your labor though as my daughter begins developing more complex speech in both languages. I've actually documented her speech from when she was only 7 weeks old! Either way it can really be difficult at times but I'm so happy to have found what you do!
Hello and congratulations on your newborn and your efforts raising your children so far in French! Also, thank you so much for reaching out! French is easier to find resources for compared to a lot of less commonly taught languages, but French speakers aren't easy to find. As you said, same boat! As I've gone down this path, I am finding out that there are success stories that do normalize this experience, but they're buried for several reasons (I have thoughts on this--stay tuned for a video about it at some point). Since you're in the SLA field, you might want to look up this article. If you don't have access anymore, I can email it to you--let me know. The situation is different (two L2 English speakers raising a child in English in China), but I found it so inspiring to hear some of the same struggles I can relate to documented in an academic way. Spoiler alert: When he moves to Canada eventually, everything is just fine and their efforts have paid off!
Liu, W., & Lin, X. (2019). Family language policy in English as a foreign language: a case study from China to Canada. Language Policy, 18(2), 191-207. doi.org/10.1007/s10993-018-9475-5
Also Christine Jernigan's book Family Language Learning is awesome so far and normalizes our exact experience as foreign language parents.
Sometimes you just want to know that it'll all be ok in the end. These resources have really helped me. :)
Stéfanie, j’ai regardé un tas de tes vidéos (both older and newer) et elles m’ont aidé beaucoup! Je t’apprécie TELLEMENT!!
I’ve spoken to my 3 year old in Louisiana French (my heritage language, and the first language of my grandparents who are no longer with us) and have exposed him to children’s media in International French since the moment he was born. Speaking my family dialect of French has always felt natural to me, but it’s still not my first language, and I stutter, so I have a lot of linguistic insecurity and feel so inadequate in my ability to pass on the language of my heritage and culture to my child. Especially with my stutter, it’s sometimes easier to get a word out in my native language, English.
From when he was about 6 months old until he was 2, I had the privilege of being a stay-at-home dad, so I was interacting with him and exposing him to French language media most of the day while my wife was at work. At the time, he was saying parts of French words like "manj" for "manger" (which he would say while making the ASL sign for "to eat"). A year ago, though, he started daycare, and that was around the time that he started saying a lot of words, but they were almost all in English.
Around that time, I got really discouraged, and my self-confidence tanked, so while I never gave up, I did start to slack off a lot and would resort to English a lot of times, because I thought I was clearly incapable and that I had "failed my grandparents" by giving up too easily. I’ve since recommitted and am doing better, but god, is it a constant uphill battle when you’re drowning in an ocean of anglophones with not a lot of community support. This is one reason I want to move back home to South Louisiana. There are French immersion schools there and a surprisingly strong community of young Cajun and Creole parents attempting to raise their children in their heritage languages.
Now, at 3, he does speak mostly in English, but he does mix in some French words, and he understands everything I say to him in French. But he surprised me the other day, because he seems to understand the concept of people speaking different languages (or at least he associates English with my wife and French with me). Often, when I ask him in French, "Tu veux compter pour moi?" he’ll just start counting in English, but the other day, I asked more specifically, "Tu veux compter en français pour moi?" He actually counted to 10 in FRENCH! 😭🥹🥲 I thought I was going to die of happiness. Even though he’s been responding a lot in English, I’ve been trying to use a lot of positive reinforcement. So, like, when I point to a dog and ask him in French, "C’est quoi, cet animal?" and he responds with "dog," I’ll respond with something like, "Oui, c’est ça! Maman l’appelle un dog en anglais mais comment est-ce que Papa appelle ça en français?" And he’ll think for a few seconds and say "Chien!"
When you’re struggling with linguistic insecurity, the little daily wins like this are huge!
I can't express how happy I am to receive your comment! You have overcome so much and I'm encouraged by YOU and your perseverance, especially in the face of your speech difficulties. You're an inspiration. I loved reading where you speak about dying of happiness when your son spoke French because I can relate to this SO MUCH! I feel like we all have those huge (but seemingly so tiny to everyone else) moments that show us we are on the right track and encourage us to keep going. I'm so glad that I could also encourage you. Please keep it up! Don't be discouraged by the sea of anglophones. Can you visit Louisiana and maybe even try to get him to attend a few days of immersion school in your local town? You'd be surprised what you can achieve by just asking and they might be super supportive of your efforts too. It might pique his interest some more and help keep that flame alive until you can find more members for your language village. Keep up the great work! And feel free to reach out anytime for more inspiration.
Thank you for the encouraging words. Spanish is my first language and I´m raising my child in English in a Spanish speaking community. My child prefers to communicate in English. She speaks Spanish with an accent and makes the same grammatical mistakes non-natives make, but from what I have observed from others' responses, it´s easy to understand most of the time. The comments coming from people I can´t get away from were that it was impossible to understand what she was saying and I should switch to the majority language or she would be bullied at school (she was three or four at the time). At her Spanish speaking school with enough hours of English per week to be considered bilingual, I got similar comments from the teachers. I was completely alone in this endeavour and I felt discouraged at times. We are making great progress
Thank you for watching and sharing your experience. I'm so sorry you had to endure so many negative comments from people you trust like your daughter's teachers. This only makes an endeavor that is already so difficult even harder. It is hard to stay encouraged some days. One thing that I realized recently is that people assume that my son is incomprehensible in English because he had a French accent, but actually often it's just because he is a toddler and speaks English like a toddler. But people who know he is bilingual sometimes assume first that the reason they can't understand him is because he is bilingual, not because he is young. Perhaps it is somewhat influenced by his French accent in English, but I don't believe this is the only reason or even the main reason. (If your child has an accent in the majority language, savor it! It means your efforts are working and it will be gone before you know it! I wish I had told myself that early on.) I'm glad you're making progress. You should be proud of how far you've come!
@@LiveYourLanguage Thank you Stefanie!
The best advice in my humble opinion is to improve our own second language!! I've been trying to teach English as a second language to my 3.5 yo daughter and she also goes to school where her teacher is a native speaker and a can truly say that 99% of the English that she knows comes from our interaction. Unfortunately I'm not proficient so I should improve myself.. it's really hard sometimes...
You are such a treasure! I am really considering raising my baby bilingual (English is not my first language).
Go for it! Of course, proficiency plays a role, but there is no reason you can't pass along what you know, regardless of your proficiency level. What is holding you back?
@@LiveYourLanguage I am C1 English. It's difficult but I can make it with the right mindset. Your video gave me lots of encouragement!!
@@Gavivi87Yes, you can definitely do it! I believe in you! And I'm so glad that my video is encouraging you!
Your videos are always so encouraging - you are a superstar, Stephanie!!
Thank you so much for watching and for your kind words! I hope to show through my videos that anyone with proficiency and determination can do what I am doing, at least until their child is my son's age. I'm glad this video inspired you!
Very inspiring thank you!
Is there a recommended amount of time a week that we should be aiming for to provide a language input?
Thanks so much for watching and commenting! You should strive to provide as much input as possible. The more, the better! But the general rule of thumb is that for your child to be a speaker of that language, he or she should receive input and interaction in that language for at least around 25% to 1/3 of his or her waking hours. However, the most important thing is that there is a communicative need and that the time spent in that language is interactive, especially at the beginning.
Can I ask what your favourite Instagram accounts are? 🙂
Thanks for watching! I really like @bilinguitos and of course @amy_ourmlhome (because I interviewed her a few months ago for this channel!). And, although this person is a native Spanish speaker, I also like @bilingualplaydate because her husband is a non-native speaker of Spanish and she posts really encouraging things about spouses who choose to speak their non-native language to support bilingualism.
@@LiveYourLanguage Many thanks!