If you are a first generation immigrant, HELL YES. unlearn that shit. Our parents mean well, but the wisdom and knowledge they picked up was for a world that no longer exists. Only retain the most abstract ideas, like "work hard , be a good person" , anything more specific, they have NO clue what they be saying. Be good to your parents, but do not let filial piety get in the way of you achieving your own success and happiness.
If your parents are immigrants from anywhere other than the country you reside in, you should most definitely unlearn much of what they taught you. Their life experience is simply limited.
This is a really tough question for me to answer. I’m Korean American, and while I had a challenging childhood due to my strict parents, I understand why they were so hard on me. They did what they thought was best. But at the same time, it left me with some unintended consequences, like struggling with depression and anxiety. I think the key is learning from those experiences, understanding where our parents were coming from, and making sure we don’t repeat the same patterns if we ever have kids.
you say that as if the kids with 'parents who were not strict at all' do not have depression and anxiety. have you seen the numbers? like, at least you got something out of it :P By the way, there is no action in the world that doesn't have unintended consequences / trade offs.
We do need to retain Asian values. Without them we're rootless, because we will never be fully Western people. Embracing our heritage will help with our identity and self confidence. We cannot fully blame our struggles on our (grand)parents, it's just the fact they emigrated that started this all. It gave us opportunities though as well, as intended. But it was never intended to lose our Asian values. Trying to be more Western will work in the short term, but in the long term we will just lose ourselves, if we don't keep our roots.
@@siewmj1 But if you were to go back and have kids there, they would be seen as fully Asian. A lot of my ex's older cousins, aunts, and her older sister have wasian kids and they all got badly bullied for being Asian growing up (albeit in the midwest, south, and east coast where there were few Asians). A few years back when all the covid hate was at it's peak, her niece's friend (who is also wasian) dropped out of college because of it.
Hot take: the emphasis on grades is a net positive for Asians. While I don't think coercing your kid to study 24/7 is healthy, the pros outweigh the cons. The thing is that putting your nose to the grindstone confers benefits beyond the classroom and is transferable to other aspects of life. I mean, there's a reason Asians are such statistically high earners. Seeking approval from your family and being a people pleaser is part and parcel of being in a collectivist-oriented culture. There's really no way around it unless you plan on severing ties. You gotta understand that group conformity supersedes individual interests every time. Avoiding conflict also has to do with blending in with the herd. Defying authority is a big no-no in Asian culture because of filial piety. Speaking up is frowned upon. It's all about staying in your lane and not rocking the boat. Asians are genetically more likely to be ectomorphs. Unless you plan on treating the gym like a part-time job and eat every two hours, I'd say cultivate healthy habits, but don't take it overboard. Asian materialism primarily stems from a scarcity mindset because many first-gen Asian parents immigrated to the West with nothing. It's hard to convince them to change when they lived such an extended portion of their lives struggling to survive. It's different for Asian women because they don't need to be as assertive. But the strictness also causes a lot of them to actively rebel against their parents later in life by disassociating with their Asian identity. And that can cause feelings of self-loathing as we've seen time and time again.
Respect for you guys from Fung Bros for giving visibility to asian matters. I'm from Europe and these contents resonnate a lot with the local chinese immigrant community here
My Chinese dad's advice: Don't let any teasing get to you because we lived in palaces when they lived in caves. Also work to be better than everyone else not just academically but through sports. My dad was 2nd in command of the Hong Kong Police Dept & got in a fistfight w/ a high-ranking Brit who disrespected him... they actually became good friends afterwards.
I was talking my Mom about this in the morning. I think it’s great that we have work ethics. The issue is when they become workaholics and they end up sacrificing their relationship with you. Because guess what. We need a balance. Also, mental health is a big issue that needs to addressed in our culture. Talking about it needs to be destigmatized. Another thing is respecting your elders. It’s great to do that but also realizing that they are not always right. That’s a big issue in the Asian culture in general.
I knew a few Chinese girls who didn’t want to date Chinese guys due to strict and harsh upbringing They didn’t like the culture, rules , and transitions that are so rigid
@@monchichipower6334 True, there are lots of reasons why they don't want to date Asian men. They would rather sell themselves short to losers of a lighter complexion .
Not much to do honestly. When you speak out and become assertive you are called misogynistic and traditional. But when you remain quiet you are called submissive and feminine lol
I come from Mexican immigrant parents and I definitely agree that there are values like working hard and having community is important that I want to keep! However, there are things like avoiding confrontation is something that we definitely have to unlearn! Especially in the US! You can be confrontational in a professional manner! Because people will take advantage of you in the US if you don’t pushback
You have to adapt anywhere you go if you want to be accepted, respected, and move up in that society. In American society, it is more of a individualistic and analytical culture. Hierarchy is much more flat which means that the top people are not looking out for you, are not responsible for your growth and upward mobility. You are more the master of your career and life. If you want to be heard, you have to articulate your ideas, thoughts, and needs. American values are different. They don't give 2 sheets where you go to school. Material wealth is still important, but so is being artistic, charismatic, athletic, being handy in the house, being kind, being diplomatic, a leader, passionate, emotionally strong, stable and stoic. Its a different culture. They don't understand a lot of the social cues that make sense in Asia or in your family.
No, when they make you go outside, that usually means making you walk or bike around the neighborhood aimlessly and pointlessly. It's a waste of time and sad. When we should be dating in our teens, or at least, go hang out at a friend's house and play video games.
Yea I agree with this 100 percent. Fitness is a huge part of my life and my family has never acknowledged it being part of my lifestyle. Wasn't until I moved out, paid my own bills and found a good woman that I was able to realize that having a dichotomy of different perspectives (from my parents) was ok
I was never forced to submit or forcefully respect my parents. I see others that do. Ive been compared to cousins, I’ve been talked down to by relatives. But I’ve realized I’m happier plus have an amazing relationship with my parents as an adult. I feel like I am able to live my life as me and not my parents. Compare to others I know, no never went to college, no I didn’t go into the stereotypical career. Instead I feel like the life they provided me allowed me to live the life I wanted. I’m doing things that I have passion for. I’m excited to go to work. I don’t only associate with my fellow Asians. I just seem like my parents allowed me to see beyond the border.
How much you resonate this the discussion post depends on how much of a drain your parents are to your psyche and personal agency. Sounds like Hot Pot Boys grew up with a fairly ok set of parents who were able to provide for themselves and their kids. Some Asian parents do NOT do this, and instead tout the "I struggled and worked so hard, I know I have nothing to show for it so you need to go to college completely for free on a scholarship and provide for me in my old age for the rest of my days" card, and in that case then yes the discussion post applies SO MUCH. Plenty of Asian parents twist the teachings and poison their kids futures by teaching them "Respect (without merit)", "Honor (by shoving things under the rug)", "Family (is the elder's retirement plan)". These are not valid in today's world and unlearning them is necessary to grow as your own person. Respect comes with merit, Honor comes with Integrity, Fathers and Mothers should be Fathers and Mothers to their children, not slave drivers or parentifiers. Why should the child have to pay for their parents' iniquities? That said, if you still care about your parents, grow beyond the hole. You won't bat an eye at a hole in your cup an inch in diameter if you grow your cup to the size of a large bucket and the water flowing into it is as plentiful as a flowing stream.
A lot of this depends on what kind of background your parents came from. A lot of it is not necessarily an Asian thing, but a poverty thing. If your parents grew up poor, and you didn’t, then yes, there will absolutely be things not applicable to you, such as obsessing over a very narrow selection of traditional prestigious careers.
Asian American here. First born daughter to immigrants. I took the best of the Asian teachings and American teachings , and combined it as my own. ❤ Edit: love the “rants” ❤
I agree with you about taking the parts that are applicable. My parents encouraged me to be a doctor and marry a nice Korean woman. As much as I wanted to resist, I realized that I wanted this goal, so it was a mutual benefit to study hard to go to medical school. When I married a white woman, my parents learned to accept it. But referencing one of your other videos, the minute my family learned I was marrying a white woman, there was instant talk about my needing to have children because they would be pretty or good looking (which is kind of messed up). In one way, I made my parents happy by becoming the doctor that they always wanted. In another respect I came short by not marrying a Korean woman. But overall, they came around to being happy for me. Our parents do mean well.
I cannot relate to most of this like at all. Like regarding conflict for one , as an Asian , the earliest fundamental lesson both my folks taught me was never let anyone push you around and if they did , push back just as hard or even escalate if necessary , because no one will ever respect you if you don’t respect yourself enough to fight for yourself. I remember being a small child and my father in front of my mother (agreeing with him quite strongly too lol) telling me I will never be bailed out from any conflict physical or otherwise that I can’t or won’t or don’t confront myself. I won’t ever get in trouble with them for standing up for myself as long as I’m not being the asshole. But they’ll never bail me out of confrontation cuz that’s my job and I had to learn early lol. And it stuck. So the observation of passive conflict avoidant Asians always weirded me tf out and on a personal level I never had respect for that mindset myself . It was always infuriating to watch.
My parents grew up during the Korean War so they grew up fighting everyone over everything. They are very confrontational even at times when they don’t need to be. They always taught me to fight back. They even threatened to beat my ass if I lost lol. Other Asians I grew up with irrespective of ethnicity were the same way. So I’m confused by all these videos of Asians being so passive and non confrontational. It can’t be a cultural thing. Where is this coming from?!
@@canto_v12 yes it is a generalization but one that’s extremely common especially seeming over the last few decades. Maybe it’s a side effect of Asians embracing that model minority bullshit en masse during the last half century or something but somehow Asians in the western world are stereotyped as passive , submissive and weak pushovers , certainly not true for all but true enough and at such a high frequency of observation that it’s not unfounded. I don’t get it , personally and one of my conclusions is that Asians are so culturally predisposed towards an unhealthy level of deference to the concept of hierarchy that eating shit and taking shit from others that seem to be at “superior” positions in society , whether social , physical , ethnically etc , is just accepted whether they like it or not.
@@Kimmari773 I’ve been wondering that my entire life but I’ve seen it so many times from other Asians , they’ll just eat shit , they’ll complain about crap behind the backs of those who just fed them shit , but they’ll never confront it themselves. I remember being in situations where I’d find myself compelled to confront something on someone’s behalf just to spur them into action and they just shrink from that crap and you find yourself fighting someone else’s battles for them.
Disagree for the most part. The West, especially America for years expressed Individuality as Societal Acceptance. But look at the West now, all it did was create more division and people feel more isolated and hatred. The other Fung Bro went to Thailand and one of his biggest reason was for the feeling of Community. When you are feeling isolated, you start craving a sense of belonging. Asians and even Middle Easterns in the East countered this way of thinking for so long where they believe that Families working together to create wealth and togetherness. And now Americans are slowly gravitating towards the Eastern Way of Life, and think the Western Way of life was the wrong answer. Asians are thriving, in Asia, and suddenly Asia is being the Continent to be in. Western Values is no longer considered "cool." Americans blame Politics for their rejection of Traditional American Values. Divisive Politics is just a front for a dividing society. Asian Daughters are more susceptible to adopt Western Values, while Asian Sons are pressured to continue Familial Eastern Values. This is why Western Asian Girls and Asian Guys have different values, and perspectives and struggle to date, so Western Asian Girls prefer Western Guys, while Western Asian Guys become Passport Bros.
Man that resonates so much. Child of asian mother here. Had to unlearn do much things and while applying a filter to keep the healthy asianess ans be proud of it
break rapport with a backbone with humor and at times with challenging debate to everyone of prestige in Asian world, parents, teachers, gov’t officers, bosses, doctors, lawyers, coaches, everyone
Personally, I had to unlearn what my parents taught me when we moved to the States. I had to learn to be tough and assertive, my parents are old school Asians and always told me to be polite and so on. I learned quick that you won't get far in this part of the world if you don't change your behavior. You have to be a shark or you don't win here in the States.
I remember the time when I overheard my mom talking on the phone with her best friend in China. The best friend and mom had known each other since starting out in medicine. Mom moved out of the country. Best friend stayed in China, married, settled down, raised 1 child (son) and sent that son overseas for university. The son met a Chinese international student just like him and settled down with her with a baby boy. Best Friend went over to Son's house to become babysitter, only to find that he couldn't deal with his daughter-in-law and thought the woman 沒有家教. Then he terminated the stay short. His wife seemed to have no known issues, though. Anyway, from Best Friend's POV, he thought his own son 西化了. Mom and Best Friend talked about another known acquaintance who left China too and married an American. She took her own son with her too, from a previous marriage, and she and the American husband raised the boy together. When the American husband died, he died with debt. Her own son didn't care about her much, and so she looked for a nursing home/retirement home herself and stayed there. From Best Friend's POV, the son also 西化了. The Best Friend and his wife had lost a son because the son forgot all about his own parents and would even side with his undisciplined, unruly wife--not so much actively siding. More like passively siding. As in not really doing anything to support Best Friend. And I wouldn't be surprised if other Asian parents would view westernization with disdain. The individualism of the USA is not really all-good. It's more like a double-edged sword. So is collectivism. Collectivism and individualism both are double-edged swords.
It’s all about taking responsibility for yourself. If you marry a bad apple in a western culture, that’s on you. If you immigrate and then marry a bad apple, blaming the society is not really acknowledging reality. IMO more an issue of ignorance or deflection than a criticism of Asian culture itself.
It's not just about being Asian, it's about being first-generation and being a minority. My parents are from Nigeria so I can relate. They raise you to have a inferiority-complex and they also don't understand how dating works in America.
It’s more the nature of the relationship that’s a problem. Most of a child’s social skills develop in the home. A lot of the older asian generation treat their kids like servants or dogs to order around and get angry if they ever express opinions or wants. This carries over into how they see their place in the world.
No, it develops from playing and socializing with other kids, that we were never allowed to do. At home APs talk at you, not to you, and don't have an opinion beyond what you're taught or speak out.
@ it’s both. If the parents understoood socialization they would be able to talk with the kids not just at them and they would understand the value of socializing with other kids, but they come from a rigid heirarchical society with predetermined behaviors, so in a more freeform system they don’t know how to act.
My parents didn't teach me anything any other person didn't need, like having etiquette, being honest, having good manners, and trying your best in anything you do. My father wanted me to be a strong man, and exercise regularly which I do to this very day. There are other things, I didn't agree with, like I shouldn't go out with non-Asian women which I did. I dated some whyte women, and my father really didn't like that. He is very traditional in that sense, that East Asian guys should marry East Asian gals. As for academics, they never really pressured me in anyway. I come from a pretty dysfunctional family where my father had a drinking problem, so my father really didn't care when I was growing up. That has to do with the way my father was raised, he grew up in a wealthly family where the father was preoccupied with other things than their children. There was no pressure to be excellent in academics, or be successful.
@@theia1653 Nope. My father married a woman from a lower social economic status. People in my father's family despise her due to having lower standards in etiquette.
So we as Asians are having other people tell us how we should act, rather than define what we want. I will always listen to my parents and respect them. The hell to what those other people say😊
Don’t unlearn the hard work, importance of finance, family oriented. MUST learn modern women aren’t attracted to these things as much as you were told. They want physical, social skills, and status.
The first gen parents is a product of an entirely different framework of world view, culture, values, identity, etc… Most of them didn’t have the luxury to assimilate and root themselves in society because they were just trying to survive and they did their best, which is why I agree with Simu that we owe a great amount of gratitude to our parents and first gen who paved the way. But there will be a tension as the next gen grows up and becomes more aware of their identity and self. Sometimes the only way is to let go because you can’t have your cake and not eat it too. I can go on and on but to boil it down to one issue I blame Confucianism and its roots in Asian values and culture. It does not make sense in today’s western society. Asian Americans had to grow up learning to live in two worlds. Western society value individualism while Asians value collectivism.
You're right, but it doesn't necessarily mean the Asian value system is wrong though. That system existed for thousands of years, our Western system just for a couple of hundreds. Chances are the Western system will decline in the near future and the Asian framework will be more appreciated again.
@@Woestheboss I’m not saying it’s absolutely wrong but wrong in the western context for Asian Americans especially for those who grew up in the states and identify more to western culture and values. The issue is the parents wanting to uphold those values in a way to preserve power dynamics, patriarchy, or control over their children. I would love to see Asian culture continued and preserved in Asia but maybe some traditions shared and preserved here in the states too. But there will always be tension because it’s not clear cut on which ones to continue, exactly when in which situations and circumstances, and to what extent without modifying it too much. Eventually those values and traditions will change and almost disappear in the states. But I would love to have those values and traditions be preserved and continued in their respective countries so one day our children and future generations can learn where they came from and choose to assimilate it in their own way.
The answer is, yes. People who didn't grow up in america simply cannot understand the real america. but one can probably say that about any country and any immigrant.
Many people I know ended up working internationally. Those who retained or cultivated their ethnicity as well as having aome understanding of western culture gave them tremendous business opportunities and opportunities to make deep friendships abroad.
The answer is most likely yes, because Asian culture and American culture are almost complete opposites of each other in a lot of respects. Its the same as not speaking the same language.
I think you raise a good point about what we are taught from our parents. Things like respect and yielding to people of higher authorities are considered signs of weakness in American society. As an Asian American born in a foreign land but grew up in America, I'm always astounded the differences in culture between east and west. We as Asian men need to adjust to it otherwise, others will just step on you.
Not all. Alot of Asian values overlap with American values at the higher levels such as dedication and commitment. What needs to be overwritten is lack of competitive desire. American culture values competition more than anything. Asians think of putting their fair share to improve the team. Americans think of putting in the necessary share for the team to win. There is a difference in mentality playing for improvement and playing to win
This could apply for some Jewish families and their offspring too. We are also taught to be high achievers, and exercising filial piety. So, we need to detach/deprogram, but still show respect. It can be a difficult juggling pattern.
Asians 1st second third generation in the states has a different life than the first immigrants who came so it is a bit different. There’s probably some things to be unlearn and some things that still is wisdom
Yes and No, as always with a lot of things.. My father made me sign a contract agreement in elementary school that I'd behave..😂Also made me write an apology to my teacher.🙏🏻 Unlearn 1, keep 2..Strive to be the student athlete..👍🏻
I came to the US in 1980 when I was 5. I don't give a F what anyone says or thinks of me. Be yourself. But again, I am an AH. So, I don't care what anyone thinks or say.
I will promise you when you're sitting in front of a hiring manager in the real world, he doesn't care what your grades are or where you went to college or your GPA.
@@theia1653 The way my parents saw it, it wasn't about the grades or GPA by the time I was sitting in front of a hiring manager. It's the road those grades helped pave over the years to get me to that point. After that it's on me. I was able to get into a "bigger name" school which had an incredible career office that attracted a ton of companies to come recruit. That literally launched my career with a good starting salary that allowed me to start saving a ton while still living at home (lol, the typical Asian thing). And the friends I made at school became part of my network which led to other opportunities.
Because doing well earlier in life is the easiest way to financial independence. Good grades, good college, good career. Sure, you can poke fun at the geeks but who’s getting the 200k and 300k a year white collar jobs? Overwhelmingly, the people who studied hard in school. Statistically, Asians tend to be the most financially stable ethnicity in western societies. No, money and career are not the whole package but it’s the part that Asian cultures value the most.
Chinese culture (and American baby boomers) believe grades and graduation from a top college guarantees life success. They fail to realize that colleges want holistic person along with good grades. Grades also don’t matter after your first real job…if you can get one.
Yes. We may be the children/grandchildren of immigrants but WE are not immigrants. We're Americans (or whatever country our family immigrated to.). There comes a point you gotta stop clinging to identity bs and assimilate to the culture you're in if you want to be successful. Continuously segregating yourself into a separate box from everybody else never works out in the long run. I find it ridiculous when asians immigrate to another country and instead of trying to assimilate, they just try to recreate the country they came from within their own little bubble where they live. It does nothing for the children other than make it difficult for them to assimilate into the new culture they live in. They end up with all kinds of weird identity issues, difficulty making friends, etc. Sure you can embrace your heritage but it's not your entire identity. Create your own. Your parent's life experience is not nor will it ever be yours. You have your own path to carve.
To be fair, a medical doctor will have no problem at all finding a wife. The wife will come to him. Plus, as the medical doctor, he can be more selective with women and get the best ones. Maybe a nice co-worker or something.
Doctor profession does not equal dating or marital success. Some doctors are so busy that relationships fall apart. Some doctor’s wives are gold diggers; Regina Kim worked as a prostitute while married to Han Jo Kim.
It's not just about money. It's about status. Prestige. The ability to provide for a family. The ability to raise children. That is actually important. I am pretty confident that medical doctors will be very attractive in the marriage mart. And it's not the prospective partners that have to be selective. It's the medical doctor that can afford to be selective. The medical doctor or some other high-status person will be able to afford being selective and choose the best mate.
I'd say take the time to reflect on your parents teachings. No one is perfect including your parents. There are probably a few mistakes made that you can learn from and not repeat.
My parents don't know shyt but they think they know better than me. They'd rather listen to some vague shyt they picked up from a relative's friend who have no idea what they are talking about. Asian parents be telling you to get educated and gain life experience then turn around and ignore you when you give them advice
it's doesn't apply so much to indians. indians boys are brought up to feel like they are lion kings. that is why they are generally more confident than east asian boys and more willing to speak up. chinese and japanese and even koreans have been around in america far longer than indians but you see more indians rise up to leadership positions. also the points about obsession with grades and muscles are kinda related. when you spend more time hitting the books, you don't do much physical activities. the image of smart nerdy diligent student is one with thick glasses and a thin hunched body. when you see muscle bound dude, you would immediately pin him as jock and not a straight A student.
I think you should keep the core principles your Asian parents taught you (being honest, good person, etc) but some of the details you don't have to follow it in todays society. Example lotta Asian parents frown upon tattoos cause they still associate it with something bad when in reality tattoos are just a symbol of expression in todays world.
Ya we should do the opposite then. Don't work hard ok don't study and go move bricks. Let's see how much strength an Asian man can have compare to others such as East Europeans. We adapt North American culture so our next gen do not say hi, swear at us, they take our stuff and don't say thank you at all.
It depends. What are your parents teaching you and how are they doing in American society for themselves? For example, if economic success is what you are pursuing and your parents are doing well in that area, in America, then why not listen to them? If not, then it is valid to rethink their advice.
Economic success for Asians does not mean romantic success or mental health success. There is dating bias against Asian men in western countries. Some western women ignore Asian men because they value charisma more than money.
@@EugeneTChu Using the same pattern, you can decide whether to adopt your parents' advice or not. Are your parents having romantic and mental health success in the US themselves? If not, then it is valid for you not to listen to their advice but find your own way. Personally, I don't like any person, including potential girlfriends, who judge me as inferior based solely on negative racial stereotype about my race. That's a turn off and strikes me as racist from the start.
I'm sorry, but I honestly believe that height is the number one factor in terms of respect and desirability, and thus, because Asian-looking men typically get associated with shorter average height, then our race becomes associated with less respect and/or desirability.
We Asian men are still too small and square headed for western women. We need to get taller. I walk through California and every Asian guy is built like a child. These women are taller than us.
No oo. I am that Asian women hate Chinese men but I admit they all grown so tall when I was around Irvine .I think these males eats food like beef and milk .Korean can be tall , so Chinese can be tall too just need change the diet. A lot over 6 feet
If you are a first generation immigrant, HELL YES. unlearn that shit. Our parents mean well, but the wisdom and knowledge they picked up was for a world that no longer exists. Only retain the most abstract ideas, like "work hard , be a good person" , anything more specific, they have NO clue what they be saying.
Be good to your parents, but do not let filial piety get in the way of you achieving your own success and happiness.
This 👍
You can try to unlearn it but will never really escape it.
@@theia1653 that's why moving out and living by yourself is so important. Once you have your own life, it becomes much easier.
Many Asian men are just too small
Honestly, what else did they even teach us besides “work hard and be a good person.”?
You dont have to unlearn, you just have to evolve and embrace the best of both worlds.
Naive
Isn't that unlearning the non best parts of both worlds so you can embrace the best parts of both worlds
If your parents are immigrants from anywhere other than the country you reside in, you should most definitely unlearn much of what they taught you. Their life experience is simply limited.
learn to fight at the age of 5. learn to fight before studying hard
This is a really tough question for me to answer. I’m Korean American, and while I had a challenging childhood due to my strict parents, I understand why they were so hard on me. They did what they thought was best. But at the same time, it left me with some unintended consequences, like struggling with depression and anxiety. I think the key is learning from those experiences, understanding where our parents were coming from, and making sure we don’t repeat the same patterns if we ever have kids.
That's a big IF we have kids of our own.
Why are we Asian men all have feminine bodies
I unlearned everything my Asian parents taught me, I prefer North American culture
you say that as if the kids with 'parents who were not strict at all' do not have depression and anxiety. have you seen the numbers? like, at least you got something out of it :P By the way, there is no action in the world that doesn't have unintended consequences / trade offs.
Depression and anxiety is a factor for most people these days regardless of upbringing. Myriad of reasons for it.
We do need to retain Asian values. Without them we're rootless, because we will never be fully Western people. Embracing our heritage will help with our identity and self confidence. We cannot fully blame our struggles on our (grand)parents, it's just the fact they emigrated that started this all. It gave us opportunities though as well, as intended. But it was never intended to lose our Asian values. Trying to be more Western will work in the short term, but in the long term we will just lose ourselves, if we don't keep our roots.
But the problem is people from Asia are not going to fully think you are one of them either.
You have your own culture
@@siewmj1it's called "3rd culture". It can happen to biracial kids too (same same but different).
@@siewmj1 But if you were to go back and have kids there, they would be seen as fully Asian. A lot of my ex's older cousins, aunts, and her older sister have wasian kids and they all got badly bullied for being Asian growing up (albeit in the midwest, south, and east coast where there were few Asians). A few years back when all the covid hate was at it's peak, her niece's friend (who is also wasian) dropped out of college because of it.
Not yet but 3rd gen will be and "rootless" is still better.
Hot take: the emphasis on grades is a net positive for Asians. While I don't think coercing your kid to study 24/7 is healthy, the pros outweigh the cons. The thing is that putting your nose to the grindstone confers benefits beyond the classroom and is transferable to other aspects of life. I mean, there's a reason Asians are such statistically high earners.
Seeking approval from your family and being a people pleaser is part and parcel of being in a collectivist-oriented culture. There's really no way around it unless you plan on severing ties. You gotta understand that group conformity supersedes individual interests every time.
Avoiding conflict also has to do with blending in with the herd. Defying authority is a big no-no in Asian culture because of filial piety. Speaking up is frowned upon. It's all about staying in your lane and not rocking the boat.
Asians are genetically more likely to be ectomorphs. Unless you plan on treating the gym like a part-time job and eat every two hours, I'd say cultivate healthy habits, but don't take it overboard.
Asian materialism primarily stems from a scarcity mindset because many first-gen Asian parents immigrated to the West with nothing. It's hard to convince them to change when they lived such an extended portion of their lives struggling to survive.
It's different for Asian women because they don't need to be as assertive. But the strictness also causes a lot of them to actively rebel against their parents later in life by disassociating with their Asian identity. And that can cause feelings of self-loathing as we've seen time and time again.
Respect for you guys from Fung Bros for giving visibility to asian matters. I'm from Europe and these contents resonnate a lot with the local chinese immigrant community here
There are very few Chinese communities in Europe.
@Bulklord you must not have been to Europe. Asian conclaves do exist there.
@@knucklehoagiesbeen there? Like never lived anywhere else
@Bulklord Europe is a big continent. You been to every single country?
@@knucklehoagies for this topic, you don’t need to at all. Europe is a bit different on America so you cannot expect the same
My Chinese dad's advice: Don't let any teasing get to you because we lived in palaces when they lived in caves. Also work to be better than everyone else not just academically but through sports. My dad was 2nd in command of the Hong Kong Police Dept & got in a fistfight w/ a high-ranking Brit who disrespected him... they actually became good friends afterwards.
Guys fighting doesn’t mean they can’t or won’t end up friends. That’s one point in favor being a guy
UNLEARN being passive and conflict avoiding.
There are so many of us Asians in America and we are virtually absent in sports, music or movies unless its token nonsense.
I was talking my Mom about this in the morning. I think it’s great that we have work ethics. The issue is when they become workaholics and they end up sacrificing their relationship with you. Because guess what. We need a balance. Also, mental health is a big issue that needs to addressed in our culture. Talking about it needs to be destigmatized.
Another thing is respecting your elders. It’s great to do that but also realizing that they are not always right. That’s a big issue in the Asian culture in general.
Things you need to keep from your parents:
Work Ethic, Resilience
Things you need to unlearn:
EVERYTHING ELSE
I knew a few Chinese girls who didn’t want to date Chinese guys due to strict and harsh upbringing
They didn’t like the culture, rules , and transitions that are so rigid
Asian women selling themselves Cheap 😅
I know so many Asian women who do not want to date Asian men
@ yup nothing new under the sun
@@monchichipower6334
True, there are lots of reasons why they don't want to date Asian men. They would rather sell themselves short to losers of a lighter complexion .
Not much to do honestly. When you speak out and become assertive you are called misogynistic and traditional. But when you remain quiet you are called submissive and feminine lol
I come from Mexican immigrant parents and I definitely agree that there are values like working hard and having community is important that I want to keep! However, there are things like avoiding confrontation is something that we definitely have to unlearn! Especially in the US! You can be confrontational in a professional manner! Because people will take advantage of you in the US if you don’t pushback
100% agree
As an Asian man. We will continue to be undesirable as a whole due to our feminine traits, short bodies and small eyes.
@@endingalaportewe Asian men are still not liked
We Asian men are short and not wanted
Why are so many of my Asian male friends single like me?
Lmao 😂😂😂 be your own man. Never unlearn your culture. Apply what your parents teach you to the man you want to become. Knowledge is power 💯
You have to adapt anywhere you go if you want to be accepted, respected, and move up in that society.
In American society, it is more of a individualistic and analytical culture. Hierarchy is much more flat which means that the top people are not looking out for you, are not responsible for your growth and upward mobility. You are more the master of your career and life. If you want to be heard, you have to articulate your ideas, thoughts, and needs.
American values are different. They don't give 2 sheets where you go to school. Material wealth is still important, but so is being artistic, charismatic, athletic, being handy in the house, being kind, being diplomatic, a leader, passionate, emotionally strong, stable and stoic.
Its a different culture. They don't understand a lot of the social cues that make sense in Asia or in your family.
Some American people say they wished their parents said "I love you" to them. I wished my parents said "Go outside and have some fun" :'(
No, when they make you go outside, that usually means making you walk or bike around the neighborhood aimlessly and pointlessly. It's a waste of time and sad. When we should be dating in our teens, or at least, go hang out at a friend's house and play video games.
Yea I agree with this 100 percent. Fitness is a huge part of my life and my family has never acknowledged it being part of my lifestyle. Wasn't until I moved out, paid my own bills and found a good woman that I was able to realize that having a dichotomy of different perspectives (from my parents) was ok
I was never forced to submit or forcefully respect my parents. I see others that do. Ive been compared to cousins, I’ve been talked down to by relatives. But I’ve realized I’m happier plus have an amazing relationship with my parents as an adult. I feel like I am able to live my life as me and not my parents. Compare to others I know, no never went to college, no I didn’t go into the stereotypical career. Instead I feel like the life they provided me allowed me to live the life I wanted. I’m doing things that I have passion for. I’m excited to go to work. I don’t only associate with my fellow Asians. I just seem like my parents allowed me to see beyond the border.
How much you resonate this the discussion post depends on how much of a drain your parents are to your psyche and personal agency. Sounds like Hot Pot Boys grew up with a fairly ok set of parents who were able to provide for themselves and their kids. Some Asian parents do NOT do this, and instead tout the "I struggled and worked so hard, I know I have nothing to show for it so you need to go to college completely for free on a scholarship and provide for me in my old age for the rest of my days" card, and in that case then yes the discussion post applies SO MUCH.
Plenty of Asian parents twist the teachings and poison their kids futures by teaching them "Respect (without merit)", "Honor (by shoving things under the rug)", "Family (is the elder's retirement plan)". These are not valid in today's world and unlearning them is necessary to grow as your own person. Respect comes with merit, Honor comes with Integrity, Fathers and Mothers should be Fathers and Mothers to their children, not slave drivers or parentifiers. Why should the child have to pay for their parents' iniquities?
That said, if you still care about your parents, grow beyond the hole. You won't bat an eye at a hole in your cup an inch in diameter if you grow your cup to the size of a large bucket and the water flowing into it is as plentiful as a flowing stream.
A lot of this depends on what kind of background your parents came from.
A lot of it is not necessarily an Asian thing, but a poverty thing. If your parents grew up poor, and you didn’t, then yes, there will absolutely be things not applicable to you, such as obsessing over a very narrow selection of traditional prestigious careers.
Asian American here. First born daughter to immigrants. I took the best of the Asian teachings and American teachings , and combined it as my own. ❤
Edit: love the “rants” ❤
But as an Asian Female, you don't have racism, so things are much easier for you.
Thats beautiful 😊
You should look at the definition of misogyny. Patriarchy does not equate to misogyny.
I've been trying all my adult life to undo what my parents taught me. I see now it's not just me thinking that
Very insightful video bros
Your rants are good. It is cool you quoted a passage from Simu's book. 👍
I agree with you about taking the parts that are applicable. My parents encouraged me to be a doctor and marry a nice Korean woman. As much as I wanted to resist, I realized that I wanted this goal, so it was a mutual benefit to study hard to go to medical school. When I married a white woman, my parents learned to accept it. But referencing one of your other videos, the minute my family learned I was marrying a white woman, there was instant talk about my needing to have children because they would be pretty or good looking (which is kind of messed up). In one way, I made my parents happy by becoming the doctor that they always wanted. In another respect I came short by not marrying a Korean woman. But overall, they came around to being happy for me. Our parents do mean well.
I cannot relate to most of this like at all. Like regarding conflict for one , as an Asian , the earliest fundamental lesson both my folks taught me was never let anyone push you around and if they did , push back just as hard or even escalate if necessary , because no one will ever respect you if you don’t respect yourself enough to fight for yourself. I remember being a small child and my father in front of my mother (agreeing with him quite strongly too lol) telling me I will never be bailed out from any conflict physical or otherwise that I can’t or won’t or don’t confront myself. I won’t ever get in trouble with them for standing up for myself as long as I’m not being the asshole. But they’ll never bail me out of confrontation cuz that’s my job and I had to learn early lol.
And it stuck. So the observation of passive conflict avoidant Asians always weirded me tf out and on a personal level I never had respect for that mindset myself . It was always infuriating to watch.
I think it’s a generalisation and not all Asians are like that.
My parents grew up during the Korean War so they grew up fighting everyone over everything. They are very confrontational even at times when they don’t need to be. They always taught me to fight back. They even threatened to beat my ass if I lost lol. Other Asians I grew up with irrespective of ethnicity were the same way. So I’m confused by all these videos of Asians being so passive and non confrontational. It can’t be a cultural thing. Where is this coming from?!
@@canto_v12 yes it is a generalization but one that’s extremely common especially seeming over the last few decades. Maybe it’s a side effect of Asians embracing that model minority bullshit en masse during the last half century or something but somehow Asians in the western world are stereotyped as passive , submissive and weak pushovers , certainly not true for all but true enough and at such a high frequency of observation that it’s not unfounded. I don’t get it , personally and one of my conclusions is that Asians are so culturally predisposed towards an unhealthy level of deference to the concept of hierarchy that eating shit and taking shit from others that seem to be at “superior” positions in society , whether social , physical , ethnically etc , is just accepted whether they like it or not.
@@Kimmari773 I’ve been wondering that my entire life but I’ve seen it so many times from other Asians , they’ll just eat shit , they’ll complain about crap behind the backs of those who just fed them shit , but they’ll never confront it themselves. I remember being in situations where I’d find myself compelled to confront something on someone’s behalf just to spur them into action and they just shrink from that crap and you find yourself fighting someone else’s battles for them.
@ it’s coming from the generations after your parents, the baby boomers of Asia who didn’t experience war.
Disagree for the most part. The West, especially America for years expressed Individuality as Societal Acceptance. But look at the West now, all it did was create more division and people feel more isolated and hatred. The other Fung Bro went to Thailand and one of his biggest reason was for the feeling of Community. When you are feeling isolated, you start craving a sense of belonging. Asians and even Middle Easterns in the East countered this way of thinking for so long where they believe that Families working together to create wealth and togetherness. And now Americans are slowly gravitating towards the Eastern Way of Life, and think the Western Way of life was the wrong answer. Asians are thriving, in Asia, and suddenly Asia is being the Continent to be in. Western Values is no longer considered "cool." Americans blame Politics for their rejection of Traditional American Values. Divisive Politics is just a front for a dividing society. Asian Daughters are more susceptible to adopt Western Values, while Asian Sons are pressured to continue Familial Eastern Values. This is why Western Asian Girls and Asian Guys have different values, and perspectives and struggle to date, so Western Asian Girls prefer Western Guys, while Western Asian Guys become Passport Bros.
Man that resonates so much. Child of asian mother here. Had to unlearn do much things and while applying a filter to keep the healthy asianess ans be proud of it
Some Jewish parents also expect you to to exercise fillial piety, but it's important to leave the enmeshment, touch base, but live your own life.
i LOLed at "practice boxing, dating hispanic women" - exactly what i'm doing
We can't box and Hispanic women don't like us
@ 😂😂 not true
break rapport with a backbone with humor and at times with challenging debate to everyone of prestige in Asian world, parents, teachers, gov’t officers, bosses, doctors, lawyers, coaches, everyone
Personally, I had to unlearn what my parents taught me when we moved to the States. I had to learn to be tough and assertive, my parents are old school Asians and always told me to be polite and so on. I learned quick that you won't get far in this part of the world if you don't change your behavior. You have to be a shark or you don't win here in the States.
I remember the time when I overheard my mom talking on the phone with her best friend in China. The best friend and mom had known each other since starting out in medicine. Mom moved out of the country. Best friend stayed in China, married, settled down, raised 1 child (son) and sent that son overseas for university. The son met a Chinese international student just like him and settled down with her with a baby boy. Best Friend went over to Son's house to become babysitter, only to find that he couldn't deal with his daughter-in-law and thought the woman 沒有家教. Then he terminated the stay short. His wife seemed to have no known issues, though. Anyway, from Best Friend's POV, he thought his own son 西化了.
Mom and Best Friend talked about another known acquaintance who left China too and married an American. She took her own son with her too, from a previous marriage, and she and the American husband raised the boy together. When the American husband died, he died with debt. Her own son didn't care about her much, and so she looked for a nursing home/retirement home herself and stayed there. From Best Friend's POV, the son also 西化了. The Best Friend and his wife had lost a son because the son forgot all about his own parents and would even side with his undisciplined, unruly wife--not so much actively siding. More like passively siding. As in not really doing anything to support Best Friend.
And I wouldn't be surprised if other Asian parents would view westernization with disdain.
The individualism of the USA is not really all-good. It's more like a double-edged sword. So is collectivism. Collectivism and individualism both are double-edged swords.
It’s all about taking responsibility for yourself. If you marry a bad apple in a western culture, that’s on you. If you immigrate and then marry a bad apple, blaming the society is not really acknowledging reality. IMO more an issue of ignorance or deflection than a criticism of Asian culture itself.
Even having private property, privacy, personal goals and lives, and don't touch me are concepts that are alien to a collectivist.
It's not just about being Asian, it's about being first-generation and being a minority. My parents are from Nigeria so I can relate. They raise you to have a inferiority-complex and they also don't understand how dating works in America.
@@Butt-mk4wx we Asian men are the least desired because we're short with little eyes.
It’s more the nature of the relationship that’s a problem. Most of a child’s social skills develop in the home. A lot of the older asian generation treat their kids like servants or dogs to order around and get angry if they ever express opinions or wants. This carries over into how they see their place in the world.
No, it develops from playing and socializing with other kids, that we were never allowed to do. At home APs talk at you, not to you, and don't have an opinion beyond what you're taught or speak out.
@ it’s both. If the parents understoood socialization they would be able to talk with the kids not just at them and they would understand the value of socializing with other kids, but they come from a rigid heirarchical society with predetermined behaviors, so in a more freeform system they don’t know how to act.
My parents didn't teach me anything any other person didn't need, like having etiquette, being honest, having good manners, and trying your best in anything you do. My father wanted me to be a strong man, and exercise regularly which I do to this very day. There are other things, I didn't agree with, like I shouldn't go out with non-Asian women which I did. I dated some whyte women, and my father really didn't like that. He is very traditional in that sense, that East Asian guys should marry East Asian gals.
As for academics, they never really pressured me in anyway. I come from a pretty dysfunctional family where my father had a drinking problem, so my father really didn't care when I was growing up. That has to do with the way my father was raised, he grew up in a wealthly family where the father was preoccupied with other things than their children. There was no pressure to be excellent in academics, or be successful.
But does he have the same standard for the gals?
@@theia1653 Nope. My father married a woman from a lower social economic status. People in my father's family despise her due to having lower standards in etiquette.
@@theia1653 Nope.
@Ace1000ks I didn't think so. Our dads would not be happy if we were dating a 10/10 blonde.
@@theia1653 My sister is married to an American guy.
Aloha from Hawaii. Shaka brah🤙
So we as Asians are having other people tell us how we should act, rather than define what we want. I will always listen to my parents and respect them. The hell to what those other people say😊
We are just watching things through wrong lenses, in reality, asian fathers and asian man are already masculine enough.
Don’t unlearn the hard work, importance of finance, family oriented. MUST learn modern women aren’t attracted to these things as much as you were told. They want physical, social skills, and status.
The first gen parents is a product of an entirely different framework of world view, culture, values, identity, etc… Most of them didn’t have the luxury to assimilate and root themselves in society because they were just trying to survive and they did their best, which is why I agree with Simu that we owe a great amount of gratitude to our parents and first gen who paved the way. But there will be a tension as the next gen grows up and becomes more aware of their identity and self. Sometimes the only way is to let go because you can’t have your cake and not eat it too. I can go on and on but to boil it down to one issue I blame Confucianism and its roots in Asian values and culture. It does not make sense in today’s western society. Asian Americans had to grow up learning to live in two worlds. Western society value individualism while Asians value collectivism.
You're right, but it doesn't necessarily mean the Asian value system is wrong though. That system existed for thousands of years, our Western system just for a couple of hundreds. Chances are the Western system will decline in the near future and the Asian framework will be more appreciated again.
@@Woestheboss I’m not saying it’s absolutely wrong but wrong in the western context for Asian Americans especially for those who grew up in the states and identify more to western culture and values. The issue is the parents wanting to uphold those values in a way to preserve power dynamics, patriarchy, or control over their children. I would love to see Asian culture continued and preserved in Asia but maybe some traditions shared and preserved here in the states too. But there will always be tension because it’s not clear cut on which ones to continue, exactly when in which situations and circumstances, and to what extent without modifying it too much. Eventually those values and traditions will change and almost disappear in the states. But I would love to have those values and traditions be preserved and continued in their respective countries so one day our children and future generations can learn where they came from and choose to assimilate it in their own way.
The answer is, yes. People who didn't grow up in america simply cannot understand the real america.
but one can probably say that about any country and any immigrant.
Best ever food review show guy was your basketball teammate?
Yes. World changes so fast even asians in asia need to unlearn what their parents taught.
Many people I know ended up working internationally. Those who retained or cultivated their ethnicity as well as having aome understanding of western culture gave them tremendous business opportunities and opportunities to make deep friendships abroad.
Asian mom: GO touch some grass.
Andrew: but I'm allergic to grass!
Haha aww Andrew is like the Asian version of Chucky in Rugrats. I remember playing soccer in rain. Fun times.
The answer is most likely yes, because Asian culture and American culture are almost complete opposites of each other in a lot of respects. Its the same as not speaking the same language.
I think you raise a good point about what we are taught from our parents. Things like respect and yielding to people of higher authorities are considered signs of weakness in American society. As an Asian American born in a foreign land but grew up in America, I'm always astounded the differences in culture between east and west. We as Asian men need to adjust to it otherwise, others will just step on you.
It's a sign of weakness everywhere.
Not all. Alot of Asian values overlap with American values at the higher levels such as dedication and commitment. What needs to be overwritten is lack of competitive desire. American culture values competition more than anything. Asians think of putting their fair share to improve the team. Americans think of putting in the necessary share for the team to win. There is a difference in mentality playing for improvement and playing to win
This could apply for some Jewish families and their offspring too. We are also taught to be high achievers, and exercising filial piety. So, we need to detach/deprogram, but still show respect. It can be a difficult juggling pattern.
Asians 1st second third generation in the states has a different life than the first immigrants who came so it is a bit different. There’s probably some things to be unlearn and some things that still is wisdom
NOPE.. stick to your roots. It's a winning program.
Yes and No, as always with a lot of things.. My father made me sign a contract agreement in elementary school that I'd behave..😂Also made me write an apology to my teacher.🙏🏻 Unlearn 1, keep 2..Strive to be the student athlete..👍🏻
I came to the US in 1980 when I was 5. I don't give a F what anyone says or thinks of me. Be yourself. But again, I am an AH. So, I don't care what anyone thinks or say.
I never got why Chinese parents care so much about grades
The other cultures aren’t that obsessed about it
I will promise you when you're sitting in front of a hiring manager in the real world, he doesn't care what your grades are or where you went to college or your GPA.
@@theia1653 The way my parents saw it, it wasn't about the grades or GPA by the time I was sitting in front of a hiring manager. It's the road those grades helped pave over the years to get me to that point. After that it's on me. I was able to get into a "bigger name" school which had an incredible career office that attracted a ton of companies to come recruit. That literally launched my career with a good starting salary that allowed me to start saving a ton while still living at home (lol, the typical Asian thing). And the friends I made at school became part of my network which led to other opportunities.
@@theia1653depends on the industry.
Because doing well earlier in life is the easiest way to financial independence. Good grades, good college, good career.
Sure, you can poke fun at the geeks but who’s getting the 200k and 300k a year white collar jobs? Overwhelmingly, the people who studied hard in school.
Statistically, Asians tend to be the most financially stable ethnicity in western societies. No, money and career are not the whole package but it’s the part that Asian cultures value the most.
Chinese culture (and American baby boomers) believe grades and graduation from a top college guarantees life success. They fail to realize that colleges want holistic person along with good grades. Grades also don’t matter after your first real job…if you can get one.
my korean parents messed me up for sure
I NEVER listened to my asian parents
Yes. We may be the children/grandchildren of immigrants but WE are not immigrants. We're Americans (or whatever country our family immigrated to.). There comes a point you gotta stop clinging to identity bs and assimilate to the culture you're in if you want to be successful. Continuously segregating yourself into a separate box from everybody else never works out in the long run.
I find it ridiculous when asians immigrate to another country and instead of trying to assimilate, they just try to recreate the country they came from within their own little bubble where they live. It does nothing for the children other than make it difficult for them to assimilate into the new culture they live in. They end up with all kinds of weird identity issues, difficulty making friends, etc.
Sure you can embrace your heritage but it's not your entire identity. Create your own. Your parent's life experience is not nor will it ever be yours. You have your own path to carve.
You are an immigrant like anybody else. Only the native americans are not immigrants
Say it louder for those in the back.
To be fair, a medical doctor will have no problem at all finding a wife. The wife will come to him.
Plus, as the medical doctor, he can be more selective with women and get the best ones.
Maybe a nice co-worker or something.
Maybe men don't want women who want them for money?
Doctor profession does not equal dating or marital success. Some doctors are so busy that relationships fall apart. Some doctor’s wives are gold diggers; Regina Kim worked as a prostitute while married to Han Jo Kim.
Not always. Some doctors are single. Some who are married have adulterous wives (Regina Turner was a prostitute while married Han Jo Kim).
It's not just about money. It's about status. Prestige. The ability to provide for a family. The ability to raise children. That is actually important.
I am pretty confident that medical doctors will be very attractive in the marriage mart. And it's not the prospective partners that have to be selective. It's the medical doctor that can afford to be selective.
The medical doctor or some other high-status person will be able to afford being selective and choose the best mate.
@@kiwifruitkl Not always. Look up Han Jo Kim and his divorce from Regina Turner.
You can break from all these BS if you grew up having Bruce Lee as your idol. You will get respect.
Bruce Lee couldn't fight in real life. He was all smoke and mirrors. A prime Mike Tyson would have ruptured him
The answer is hella no! A lot of westerners wish and appreciate Asian values.
Some westerners want to exploit Asians for their values. They will offer a junior job, but not promote or give pay raise to some Asians.
Big Daddy... 😂
I'd say take the time to reflect on your parents teachings. No one is perfect including your parents. There are probably a few mistakes made that you can learn from and not repeat.
My parents don't know shyt but they think they know better than me. They'd rather listen to some vague shyt they picked up from a relative's friend who have no idea what they are talking about.
Asian parents be telling you to get educated and gain life experience then turn around and ignore you when you give them advice
They still follow Confucius teachings of filial piety and the old structure of the East. They fail to realize that it does not work in the west.
Don't give them advice. Since they know everything, they can figure it out.
Idk at this point if I’m living for my parents or for myself
There is a chinese restaurant in every ghetto area of America but I only see Japanese restaurants in high end places.
learn from all sources
and develop your own styles and evolve
it's doesn't apply so much to indians. indians boys are brought up to feel like they are lion kings. that is why they are generally more confident than east asian boys and more willing to speak up. chinese and japanese and even koreans have been around in america far longer than indians but you see more indians rise up to leadership positions. also the points about obsession with grades and muscles are kinda related. when you spend more time hitting the books, you don't do much physical activities. the image of smart nerdy diligent student is one with thick glasses and a thin hunched body. when you see muscle bound dude, you would immediately pin him as jock and not a straight A student.
I think you should keep the core principles your Asian parents taught you (being honest, good person, etc) but some of the details you don't have to follow it in todays society. Example lotta Asian parents frown upon tattoos cause they still associate it with something bad when in reality tattoos are just a symbol of expression in todays world.
Being honest won't even get you a $16/hr job at your interview.
Without even watching the video, in short, yes lol. Still value and honor your roots though.
We Asian men are not liked
Ya we should do the opposite then. Don't work hard ok don't study and go move bricks. Let's see how much strength an Asian man can have compare to others such as East Europeans. We adapt North American culture so our next gen do not say hi, swear at us, they take our stuff and don't say thank you at all.
Honestly a little bit yes
Why not brain and braun
@@simonnim321 because we have big heads but little hands
Guilty 😢
You're not Asian, we are Asians
You're a smelly Indian. Go take a bath
@@Wiliam-g3gIndians are Asians. Please look at the map (or globe) whenever you have time.
It depends. What are your parents teaching you and how are they doing in American society for themselves? For example, if economic success is what you are pursuing and your parents are doing well in that area, in America, then why not listen to them? If not, then it is valid to rethink their advice.
Economic success for Asians does not mean romantic success or mental health success. There is dating bias against Asian men in western countries. Some western women ignore Asian men because they value charisma more than money.
@@EugeneTChu Using the same pattern, you can decide whether to adopt your parents' advice or not. Are your parents having romantic and mental health success in the US themselves? If not, then it is valid for you not to listen to their advice but find your own way. Personally, I don't like any person, including potential girlfriends, who judge me as inferior based solely on negative racial stereotype about my race. That's a turn off and strikes me as racist from the start.
There is no amount of money that can replace what was taken from me.
I'm sorry, but I honestly believe that height is the number one factor in terms of respect and desirability, and thus, because Asian-looking men typically get associated with shorter average height, then our race becomes associated with less respect and/or desirability.
We are short and depressed as usual
don't be a banana
We Asian men are still too small and square headed for western women. We need to get taller. I walk through California and every Asian guy is built like a child. These women are taller than us.
No oo. I am that Asian women hate Chinese men but I admit they all grown so tall when I was around Irvine .I think these males eats food like beef and milk .Korean can be tall , so Chinese can be tall too just need change the diet. A lot over 6 feet
I’m 187 cm so… 6’2
Pakistani men are incels and women are repulsed by y'all
Yes because growing taller is definitely a personal choice. 😂
@@SageFrogOil it is, drink some milk Asian men, we have to grow
Its the end of Asian men as usual
Its always possible to go abroad
lol
Asian man can’t get top always bottom 😅