I can deliver top notch insults while imparting knowledge. This is fantastic news. Thank you, oh gloriously maned and bearded siren, for so freely imparting your wisdom to a wretch like myself.
Binging your videos right now, I don't think I can quantify exactly how fantastic they are. The production quality, the jokes themselves, the timing, your inflections, everything. It's like every single joke you come up with lives up to its maximum potential.
I did this with bird names in middle school. Nothing like getting another student to yell, "Teacher, teacher! She said a bad word! She called me a marbled godwit!". Latin names sound even more sinister when sneered.
Brilliant! This is the start of a new trend. Reminds me of when I was 12 years old and angry at my little brother while we were getting ready for Catholic Mass. Name calling was forbidden in my family. I was learning Spanish at the time and yelled at my brother, "You Catolico!" (Prounouced Ca-*toe*-lee-coe. You Catholic}. My brother had no idea what it meant and went complaining to my father, "She called me a Catolico". I still got into trouble.
Loved this! I was told many times as a child that the use of "curse words" (cussing here in the South Atlantic states) showed a deep lack of imagination.
Few weeks a go I mentioned ABK to my friend. She was amazed, as one should be. Maybe she'll see this and rejoice? In any case, let's all rejoice, for there is a new video! Rejoice!
Thank you! If that friend mentions me to another friend and that other friend mentions me to one more friend, then by the end of the week this video could easily have 30 views.
Obviously that friend DID mention it to another friend, and the other friend must have mentioned it to SEVERAL more friends, because now, somehow, word has made it all the way to Canada 😁
Thank you for offering some cheerful suggestions for insults. I've been watching several of your videos lately - you have a real gift to make people laugh.
For anyone interested, there is actually a woman named Mary selling all of these and more. She runs a shop down by the seashore, it’s a nice place! The shells she sells are sea-shells I’m sure, because she sells sea-shells by the sea shore. You buy the sea-shells that she sells at the sea-shell store, the store by sea, on the shore. So head down to the shore, take a tour and explore, and when you get sore just go next door, to restore and score some decor you adore and build a rapport with the salvor of the store, and her seashore score corps. P.S. The store is called Mary’s seashell store, the slogan is “I offer sea-shells and other oceanic products for sale. My prices are fair. Buy something. I really like sea shells.” It really rolls off the tongue, I like it.
That was brilliant! I'm going to use the names of seashells as insults from now on... except for muscles and clams. Those already have double meanings.
It's 3 o'clock in the morning and I'm fucking wheezing. Why is everything twice as funny in the small hours? I must be an absolute channeled duck whelk.
This truly opens up a world of possibilities. And it's a good reason to learn obscure seashell names. You should make this is a primary school workshop.
Lindybeige!? Why, Lindybeige is nothing but a Cayenne keyhole limpet! (I need to add that I love Lindybeige. And I totally see (hear) the resemblance.)
And nobody told him that she sells seashells by the seashore. Nobody told me why she did that either. And nobody told me why anybody would want to pay for seashells when they are already by the seashore, but never mind.
I actually memorised these two years ago, but unfortunately I haven’t had an opportunity to use them. Well I did mutter Knobby Whelk at someone’s back once.
Me and the Mrs frequently amuse ourselves by flinging random nonsensical insults at each other. I'm playing this on repeat as preparation for her finishing the washing up and, I to, will sound well versed in shell insults over beers!
I was panicking over being 2 years late for important news. Then just some red-locked Siren yelling abuse. Surely this wasn't why they tied Odysseus to the mast.
We don't have to take this verbal abuse, you Channeled Whelk.
Now that Sean Lock has passed, the whelk industry has been losing profits :(
@@lonewretch Yeah, he sure channeled whelks. RIP from Seattle, USA.
Get outta here, you Pitted Murex
@JZ's BFF love you, too.😃
This brings a whole new meaning to "swearing like a sailor"
Who do you think named the seashells? ;-)
More like swearing like a snailor.
Gordon Ramsey if he was a marinebiologist.
What are you!? AN IDIOT CONCH!
@@GiveMeBass93 That actually sounds vulgar. LOL
That's hilarious bro 🤣
Jotoro to his mom
Best comment ever👌👌👌🤣🤣🤣🤣
It sounds like they were named by the person who stepped on them at the beach. 😅
🤣🤣
And now you know
The rest of the story.
I'm most definitely going to start calling people a "horse conch".
I had exactly the same thought, glad to see I wasn't the only one!
I'm gonna fuck this up and call people a honch. And I'll own it to save face.
Concha in Spanish it means cunt
@@ezequielstepanenko3229 it's actually coño.
@@georgesiv2082 that's in Spain. In Argentina and other Latin America countries, "concha" is indeed cunt.
And people think your stand-up is too whimsical. Nuts to that! I demand more whimsy!
I'm sorry, it will be hard-hitting, uncompromising seashell comedy from now on.
@@ABeckettKing Well you're Kraken me up either way.
Golf claps all around.
Hmm shouldn't that be whim-usquebaugh in the original Gaelic?
@@ABeckettKing really upping your shell game
Knobby whelk sounds like a proper insult indeed.
Sounds Shakespearean to me
"Boring turret snail" might have to put that in my every day vernacular
The best thing about this name is that it implies an "exciting turret snail" exists out there in the world
Turret Snails be looking forward to bingo night on Sundays where the prize is a $25 gift card to the local grocery store. How boring indeed.
I can deliver top notch insults while imparting knowledge. This is fantastic news. Thank you, oh gloriously maned and bearded siren, for so freely imparting your wisdom to a wretch like myself.
Fungi as well (at least in German): You Schuppiger Porling!
Okay, I'm stealing all of those insults to use in pointless internet bickering.
Whatever ya beaded periwinkle!
erinaceus helmet say what ? B-)
Yeah only a pimpled basket would do that
Just looked it up, and there are so many more!
One-tooth Simnia
Pitted Murex
Gaudy Asaphis
Dang, this man is enlightened.
Binging your videos right now, I don't think I can quantify exactly how fantastic they are. The production quality, the jokes themselves, the timing, your inflections, everything. It's like every single joke you come up with lives up to its maximum potential.
Shared this with a friend, our insults will never be the same again :D
I'm always impressed that you give credit in the video for the sounds and images you use.
What kind of Conus Gloriamaris downvoted this!
A blue blooded horseshoe crab did.
Hehe! Please follow this up with common names for fungi. There are so many great ones!
Dog vomit slime is a great one.
You hairy curtain crust!
You Plums-and-Custard! Greasy Tough-shank! Trooping Crumble Cap!
@@beetroot_chutney you stinking willie, you common puffball . . .
I can see that this is a rich vein to be mining. 😎
@@esmewitch common puffball - I'm using that one!
I did this with bird names in middle school. Nothing like getting another student to yell, "Teacher, teacher! She said a bad word! She called me a marbled godwit!". Latin names sound even more sinister when sneered.
Horse conch. Absolute gold right there!
Brilliant! This is the start of a new trend. Reminds me of when I was 12 years old and angry at my little brother while we were getting ready for Catholic Mass. Name calling was forbidden in my family. I was learning Spanish at the time and yelled at my brother, "You Catolico!" (Prounouced Ca-*toe*-lee-coe. You Catholic}. My brother had no idea what it meant and went complaining to my father, "She called me a Catolico". I still got into trouble.
Some sound like they would have come straight out of the 90's Shakespeare insult generator.
Loved this! I was told many times as a child that the use of "curse words" (cussing here in the South Atlantic states) showed a deep lack of imagination.
Few weeks a go I mentioned ABK to my friend. She was amazed, as one should be. Maybe she'll see this and rejoice? In any case, let's all rejoice, for there is a new video! Rejoice!
Thank you! If that friend mentions me to another friend and that other friend mentions me to one more friend, then by the end of the week this video could easily have 30 views.
@@ABeckettKing You dream big.
Obviously that friend DID mention it to another friend, and the other friend must have mentioned it to SEVERAL more friends, because now, somehow, word has made it all the way to Canada 😁
@@Fern635 Lol I'm watching from the Middle East
Thank you for offering some cheerful suggestions for insults. I've been watching several of your videos lately - you have a real gift to make people laugh.
For anyone interested, there is actually a woman named Mary selling all of these and more. She runs a shop down by the seashore, it’s a nice place!
The shells she sells are sea-shells I’m sure, because she sells sea-shells by the sea shore. You buy the sea-shells that she sells at the sea-shell store, the store by sea, on the shore.
So head down to the shore, take a tour and explore, and when you get sore just go next door, to restore and score some decor you adore and build a rapport with the salvor of the store, and her seashore score corps.
P.S. The store is called Mary’s seashell store, the slogan is “I offer sea-shells and other oceanic products for sale. My prices are fair. Buy something. I really like sea shells.” It really rolls off the tongue, I like it.
I love Alasdair. The man is exactly what we need in this country. And all over the multiverse.
Good thing he's interdimensional.
@@avianna7738 I was hoping you'd say that
I'm keeping boring turret snail. My new favourite insult.
I honestly laughed too loud at night for this! You spotted cowrie, stop making me cackle!!!
I finally used one of these, I suddenly remembered this video and looked it up while in a Discord convo, Thank you Sir ABK.
This whole thing is making me clam up
Wait a second! That's the Strahov Library in Prague behind you! ... YOOOU Blunt gaper!
this man made me click o a video called Important News About Seashells
and I'm Serbian
The more reason to be enlightened about such a subject, as I suppose you do not have a lot of them lying around where you live.
Mind who you’re talkin’ to, ya wentletrap!
I will never again struggle to devise a biting insult.
THANK YOU!
This is the kinda news updates we really need.
That was brilliant! I'm going to use the names of seashells as insults from now on... except for muscles and clams. Those already have double meanings.
I appreciate you sharing this
If you didn’t share it, you‘d be rather shellfish
Very true, very true.
Alasdair Beckett-King, bringing the knowledge to the people
Fully expected this to just end with "Clam"
Thank you. This is important information.
"Horse conch" is perfect! Thank you.
The references in the end make all the difference.
Fun Ironic fact: Seashells on the shore shudder at the sound of ''Shell''.
Knobby Whelk was already my derogatory term for people from Wales
Horse Conch, I'll have to remember this one.
Gosh, now that you mention it, my basket is on the pimpled side . . .
Yes, I will get that looked at !
Thanks, Doc.
B-)
As someone from near Prague, I like the classy Strahov Monastery backdrop!
I can think of a person for each of those insults...
Why does this only have 5k views after a year?!
Another useful fact for my next Sunday sermon.
Knobby Whelk is the best insult
This man is a bloody genius!
Thank you for this Vital Info.
It's 3 o'clock in the morning and I'm fucking wheezing. Why is everything twice as funny in the small hours? I must be an absolute channeled duck whelk.
If Sean Connery were alive, I would have liked to hear him recite, "she sells sea shells...".
It would have been an interesting exercise.
☺️
If he were alive it would have been a shite for shore eyshes..!!
@@pauljohnson5190
"Gut Gott Billy. You're a shite for shore eyes."
- Billy Connolly (when Sean Connery met him somewhere... apparently.)
😁
Billions of bilious blue blistering barnacles, he's right!!!
This truly opens up a world of possibilities. And it's a good reason to learn obscure seashell names. You should make this is a primary school workshop.
You really sound like lindybeige in this particular video
Lindybeige!? Why, Lindybeige is nothing but a Cayenne keyhole limpet!
(I need to add that I love Lindybeige. And I totally see (hear) the resemblance.)
I will use all of these this week. Thank you!
And nobody told him that she sells seashells by the seashore.
Nobody told me why she did that either.
And nobody told me why anybody would want to pay for seashells when they are already by the seashore, but never mind.
You CANNOT deny this truth.
That hurt.
A lot.
What pissed off marine biologist named something a boring turret snail
Language !
I feel armed to verbally destroy my enemies now
I'd swear that background is the Strahov Monastery library in Prague.
I’m going to start using some of these
There are many benefits to being a marine biologist
Well I know what *I'll* be busting out at my next game of Magic: the Gathering. *rubs hands together mischievously*
Clambassadors
Your country has the best words for these!!
I like how he stated his sources at the end
I actually memorised these two years ago, but unfortunately I haven’t had an opportunity to use them. Well I did mutter Knobby Whelk at someone’s back once.
Now, THIS is genius.
I know that library! It's in Czechia, I think in or near Prague.
I knew the trick and even I got offended.
That's wonderful?! :)
Going to by-heart this set of names...
Me and the Mrs frequently amuse ourselves by flinging random nonsensical insults at each other. I'm playing this on repeat as preparation for her finishing the washing up and, I to, will sound well versed in shell insults over beers!
You're rapidly becoming a Most Favoured TH-camr.
Information people need.
I always found the word Brachiopod quite beautiful!
Get in the bumper sticker business & you shall prosper. "Back off my bumper, horse conch!"
Uh this is PERFECTLY timed to be suggested to me as I'm building a pirate heist in D&D...
If I didn’t know better, I could’ve sworn I’ve heard horse conch used as a swear before
Sir, you enrich mine and everybody else's life. Thank you! *tearwipe*
I was panicking over being 2 years late for important news. Then just some red-locked Siren yelling abuse. Surely this wasn't why they tied Odysseus to the mast.
I will use this knowledge in the future.
I thought the important news was going to be that seashells weren’t actually sold by the sea shore.
That's amazing.
Brilliant!
I want the French Taunter to scream this from a castle wall.
The cited sources are the cherry on top
Pure Gold!!🤣🤣🤣
You're right. This is important news!
Added to my workplace vocab!
Yeah we're from the same alternate timeline Greetings from the republic of Midwestern America
I love this...... seen it 20 times.... can’t stop. Need more shell insults.... please do more.
Whew for a moment I thought you were going to tell me she sells sea shells down beside the sea shore. 🤔🤷♀️😉
You are so creative! And hilarious! :D
I think Miniature Triton Trumpet might just be my insult of choice from now on. Used sparingly of course, I wouldn't want it to lose it's impact.