Our boy is back where he truly belongs now. Welcome home, little buddy. And Stephen, you have my respect for allowing the tears to flow without an apology. Whether or not that was intentional, it doesn't matter. As you said, there are times where it's okay, and even necessary, to cry, and this was one of them.
Something similar was said in one of the early episodes of One Piece and that's stuck with me since. Someone only truly dies if they're forgotten, but they stay alive if they always remember them.
I have had to cremate two kitties. I choose to get their ashes back. They sell some very beautiful pet urns and that's where I put the ashes (each has a separate urn). I put in a stray whisker or two, some of their favorite cat treats, and a little cat nip. Then I sealed the urns with silicone. My family knows that when I pass away that the urns are to be tucked into the bottom of my casket so that I can keep them close.
I know exactly how this feels. I've had two cats of mine cremated after they passed and it was also good for closure for me as well. A lot of people may think it's odd to get ashes of our pets, but we do this for the humans we love, why not the animals we love as well?
I have graves of my cat's, the only one I know where it is is of my latest cat For context when my cat's die, if we have the chance, we go to my vacation home in the middle of nowhere and we dig a grave for them, you know like we do with humans like the cremating thing So every time we go to that house I go to his grave pay my respects
I have paw impressions from my animals. Mostly just because I didn't have the money for cremation, but my vet did the impressions for free. It really helps just knowing that they came home again. Even if it is just their paw print.
I don't know if you see this, Stephen, but someone made a video celebration of Sagan's life, and it was great. It was very well made. A lot of funny moments, good times.
In the movie Coco, they talk about how in the land of the dead there's a "second death" when the last of the living forget about their lost family members. Sagan will never truly be gone because we will all continue to remember him. Be it physical remains or memories, Sagan is still very much alive in our hearts and minds. It's comforting that Sagan won't end up experiencing a "second death" because of how much he meant to those around him EDIT: fixed the wording a bit. I was crying pretty hard while writing this
I work in a vet clinic and I see owner's go through this often. I know exactly what you were facing and you made absolutely the right decision that was best for him. I'm a long time viewer of the vlog it's strange the peace I feel in knowing you got him cremated and he will always be with you. My own emotions have surprised me this week I've cried with you, I've prayed for you, maybe knowing he is home now, we as "Stephenites" can also have closure. -MaddCreator 💜
Once Stephen said "I love you Segan" at the end it hit hard. In all this time grieving he's said it but not like that. Not directly to him like he's still in his lap.
Watching this vlog was so hard, like every vlog this week has been. Just today, as I'm writing this, my parents are getting ready to take one of our cats (also named Teddy, actually) to the vet because he hasn't been eating, and I'm... I'm scared, you know? I'm just glad I have this community to be a part of, in the best and worst of times, and everything in between. My family has always buried our pets on our property. I guess with burial it's like, the last time you see them they're in the form that you remember them, you know? But when we moved, my parents actually transplanted them to the new property, and that just freaked me out. So I understand some of the reasons why people cremate their pets, and while it must have been so hard, I know that's the best move for you guys. But also, living in the northeast, the ground is frozen like five months of the year, so I don't know what we'd do in that situation. I so desperately don't want to have to find out. I love you guys. I love you all. EDIT: Really, sincerely didn't want to make this edit. We're losing Teddy tonight due to kidney failure. He was a stray for so long, we never knew his age. I guess I can take solace in the fact that we gave him a very comfortable and loving final four years. I'll be watching the stream tonight, surrounded by a loving community. Once again, I love you all.
I'm so sorry to hear of your loss. I wish you and your family the best during this terrible time. I hope you all feel marginally better every day. We'll be here for you.
@@ReidTheNintendoPainter Thank you Reid, and everyone else for your kind words. It really means a lot. As an update, if anyone happens to be curious, we were able to bury Teddy. My father, bless his fortitude, dug a hole back in the fall, in the event that one of our other cats, Sundae, happened to pass in the winter. She's about twenty and a half years old, so I suppose it's good to be prepared. It just sucks that this is the second winter in a row that we've had to lay a different cat to rest in a hole dug for that possibility.
Yep. I'm crying again too. I think because I'm just a viewer that there's a disconnect, and obviously there's been vlogs and Breakfast Streams without Sagan, but seeing "the box" made it hit me like a ton of bricks.
I totally understood what you meant Stephen when your kinda excited to pick up the ashes, its like bringing the pet back home even if they are not the same anymore, its nice just knowing they are back where they belong, by your side.
There's absolutely nothing wrong with the mindset you have. I've lost multiple pets and I just felt uneasy and upset not having them close by to me. Getting their ashes gave me a bit more happiness knowing that I had them back with me where they belong.
I know Sagan didn't have a collar, but my neighbors found a really pretty box and it had compartments where they put his collar, remains, and his favorite toy. You guys probably already have ideas, but I thought I'd share what other's have done. Stay strong, we all love you and will continue to mourn with you. Sagan was a good boy.
When I think of Sagan, I think of him posed so majestically on the coffee table as you sang as him, and about how he watches over everything, and him slinky-ing down the stairway with his pickle.
It's true, grief is not linear. The way I like to think of it is that grief is like a ball inside of a box. There's a 'pain' button inside of the box, and while grief is still fresh, the ball is huge, regularly pushing the button. But as time goes on, the ball gets smaller. It never really goes away, and there are times when the ball will still hit the button. But as you adapt, and adjust, the button is hit less often. And you become more capable of moving on.
So many cards... That shows just how much Sagan meant to people. I've lost a few furry family members in my life, yet I've never received a card. Sagan was more than just a cat. He was a part of many hearts.
I thought I was done crying over a lovable cat I never met. Halfway through it and there have been tears in my eyes telhe entire time. Rest in Paradise Sagan. Welcome Home.
It's good to see Sagan is home. If I were in their shoes I would see if it's possible to make an urn shaped like a cat and painted like him. Like others have said, Sagan is not gone as long as he has not been forgotten. But Stephen and Mal have the right and final say on what's done in the end.
I completely understand about how bringing the ashes home is closure. My first cat Whiskers had lymphoma and had to be put down, and 10 years later I still have her ashes. After it just happens I think it's hard to not think of their last day, but after all this time I just remember the good stories about her. Sending you all lots of love 💜
This vlog really broke me. I've mentioned it in the past few vlogs but I had a family member pass just last month. She was in the hospital for about a month before she passed, and when my family and I went to see her after she had been admitted, I froze up in the room. I couldn't speak. When we heard she was going to pass, my family asked if I wanted to go see her one last time, but I physically couldn't. I couldn't see her how she was in that state. You mentioning remembering Sagan for all the good times you had with him reminded me of that. I couldn't go see her because that wasn't how I wanted to remember her. This vlog made me cry not only for you, but for myself. It's been more than a month since she passed and I thought I was done crying, but I just broke down at the end remembering her just as you were remembering Sagan. I love you, and I miss you.
As long as you can look back on your memories of Sagan with a smile, that's what I think is really important. You loved Sagan and Sagan loved you. That will never change.
As someone who's lost a lot of pets throughout my life, there is a special moment, having their remains finally home. I'm happy that he's back with his family, although his spirit is in Heaven, as he's playing and having a good time - and free of pain.
I have my dog Oreo(who passed in 201) and my kitty Scramp (who passed in 2016) in decorative boxes (from Hobby Lobby) in my bedroom on a shelf. Bringing their ashes home felt normal. It felt comforting how I can walk past them and know they're there. I can pick up the box and hold it and smile every time i see them
I can't put into words what I've felt watching the vlog for the past week as opposed to all of the time leading up to the 20th. But it's been very different, emotional, and eventually cathartic - even though I don't know you personally. I think it affects me because I can relate, even though I never had a pet that passed away, my father did so in late 2018. And to see how others grieve, to know that grief is very different depending on who you are as a person, helps me too, if that doesn't sound weird? It's not something we'll ever get over, and like you said in this vlog, things will never go _back_ to normal. You'll just get to a _new_ normal at some point. I also completely understand the thing about bringing your loved one with you home. We still live close to the graveyard where my dad's remains were buried, and it would be so hard to move further away knowing we can't just take a simple ten minute walk to see him anymore. In your case, it could be hours of driving, had Sagan's remains still been in Charleston. It feels better when they're close to home where you are. ❤
I completely agree with what you chose to do. Sagan belongs home. That’s the best resting place for him. I’m sure that’s where he would want to be, right beside his parents who loved him so dearly.
15:40 When you said this, it reminded me a lot of how, when my grandma passed a couple years ago, the first time I really cried wasn't until her funeral, because, right beforehand, there was an open-casket viewing and after they closed it, it just hit me that I would never be seeing her again and that's what brought me over the edge. I don't know that there's really any reason why I hadn't really cried before that because I was still incredibly sad and it was almost a whole week since she had passed, and I know that it wasn't that I was trying to be strong or anything like that because I don't feel like the kind of person who would be like that. The news of her passing was very sudden, as my family had gone to her place for dinner the previous evening because we did that every other week and nothing was wrong at the time, so the fact that she was gone not even a whole day later was a complete shock so it could have been just that it didn't really hit me that she was gone until the funeral but I'm just don't really know that I can say anything for sure about how I felt.
As someone who has buried a few pets and since moved, I get my solace knowing that Any and Shadow are together. They grew up together, took care of each other, and even though years separated their parting, they will always have each other. Having said that I don't think I could do that with my current dog. This has made me realize I wouldn't be happy unless I have him cremated and can always have him near me.
You’re there for each other, all three and Your family and friends. It is a Great comfort to have someone to grieve with... and animals understand man... Kepler understands that you’re sad and does his Best to comfort you 💜
Its good to have the ashes of your pet return home with you. Ive had 2 dogs pass away, my first one I buried myself under a tree in our backyard. The tree was always visible from the window by my bed so when I woke up, I always saw it first thing. My second, and most recent last year, I had her cremated since I moved to NYC and I cant bury her here. At least with her ashes, she is always home with me. One thin to always remember though, treasure the memory but never dwell on it. The sadness will go away with time and eventually, it will only be smiles because the memories will only be what you treasured. Sagan will always be in your hearts as long as you never forget him.
I think an amazing way to reflect on sagans full life is to make a play list with every single vlog has was in so everyone can see his amazing life fully
Chewy’s a great company- when my grandparents’ cats died, they got tiny paintings of them? And overall they’re just so kind and incredible. And I’m really glad he’s home where he belongs.
I've felt a few times that these videos are hard to watch. But I want to show my support and I don't want to shy away from the pain. I've been watching the old vlogs from 2012 and it has just been a wild ride seeing him as a kitten. I honestly don't believe i have seen any of those videos until recently. But you definitely lost a great companion. He will be missed.
I'm so glad that Sagan is home where he belongs. If I may, I'd like to share one of my favourite memories of him: Your stream of Vietnamese Pokémon Crystal was already so silly and wonderful, but then Sagan, offscreen, stole the show with this incredibly prolonged "Mroooooowooooow" sound that I have NEVER heard a cat make in my entire life. You and Mal instantly cracked up, and when I'd rewatch that vod on bad days, Sagan's antics would always, always bring a smile to my face.
I'm glad Sagan is finally home with you guys where he belongs. I'm sure you guess will make a beautiful place for him to rest. We weren't as lucky with my Charly, we got him back in a cardboard box instead of a wooden box we thought we were getting. My boyfriend went out and got a custom box just for him when he saw how distraught I was.
We've made it, the endgame. Sagan's physical form (in ashes) is back where it belongs. This was an emotional rollercoaster. The good news is that Sagan's physical form will remain with you until the day you die, and even then you can bury him with you. This got me thinking about my chocolate lab and if I should have him cremated when he passes in a few years (he's 7 so at the very least he's still got 4 or 5 years left in him). This video ultimately made me come to the decision that I will have him cremated when he, for lack of better words, finishes his bucket list. I want to say I'm sorry for Sagan's unfortunate and early demise, but also thank you for sharing this with us. I've been watching since you got them as kittens. It really hurt hearing that Sagan had cancer, and it's gonna hurt for a while knowing he won't be a part of the vlogs anymore. For that, I say "Rest in eternal peace, Sagan Georg. You weren't just a good kitty, you were the best." On a brighter note: Chewey knows what's up. Refunding your money, letting you donate the purchased/refunded food, AND sending you roses after Sagan's passing. That's being pro consumer. I've been buying from Chewey for years now, mostly dog toys & treats, so I'm glad to know they have my back if something happens to one of my buddies.
I have nothing but respect for you guys for doing what you did. As someone who lost their mother at a young age and had her cremated, I know exactly what you meant by the sense of closure. I still visit the hill where we scattered her, as she would have wanted, but Sagan deserves to be home with his family. You will never lose him in your heart. And he's in ours too. Again, sending all the love and warmth from England.
It is not weird at all. In my country you can have your pet's remains made into jewelry, put in a decorative urn with personal touches and even mixed with dirt in a pot to grow a tree out of. It is good to want him home.
This past week has been a real wake up call to myself. Am I giving my best for my animals? I’ve been sure to give them more love, as I’m sure you have done to Kepler. So... thank you. Thank you for this past week, and I’m glad you have been able to grieve the way you guys have. Anyways, have a great weekend!
After having the guts to watch these past few vlog videos, I just want to come over there and hug all three of you. I'm crying now and I just got back to work the same morning. Now I dread the inevitable day I may have to say my final goodbye to my employers dog. It's with a heavy heart that anyone would write this down. And wish the best for all of you in your healing process and a healthy future.
Hes where he belongs now. Rest forever in peace. This part of greif is important. I cried too when the box came out. So much love and respect for you guys for being strong enough to film and being amazing people you are. As always see you tomorrow.
I hope when you and Mal revisit this vlog you two can see it as beautiful. That’s how I saw it. I’m proud of you two and always hope the best for you guys even the times I phase out of watching the vlog. You and your family, your community is such a wonderful thing.
As someone who has lost a pet. It’s a great feeling of comfort to know that they are always there with you. They may be gone but they will always be with you. No matter what Sagan is with you guys and he is happy to be back with you.
It's good to know that Sagan is back with you and can now find his rest in your place. Also, I'm sure we all would remember the moment of Sagan laughing.
I'm glad you guys are doing better and that Sagan is home where he truly belongs. I'm glad we got to make this journey of Sagan's life with you guys, and we'll miss him dearly.
Losing a pet is never an easy thing to deal with. Me and my family went through this process last year twice within a span of 9 months with our two older cats (one from cancer and one from diabetes) and it was not easy to recover. It does take time to heal and one thing that the vet told our family to do was if you ever feel like crying, just let it out. It’s better to let it out than to hold it in. I hope you continue to recover during this rough time!
I’m glad Sagan is back home where he belongs. I completely understand how it brings a sense of closure to you both - it’s comforting just to know that he’s there with you, even if it isn’t exactly the same. I’m surprised by how deeply I’ve grieved over the past week, despite having never personally known you or the cats; these vlogs have been very hard to watch, but I genuinely appreciate that you’re sharing this with us. It’s a strange and therapeutic experience, I feel, as I also know I’ll eventually have to go through the same with our aging dogs. Grief comes in waves, and it’s easy at times to feel like you’ve recovered during those periods of calm in between. I admire you both for how well you’re handling this immensely difficult process. We all love you, keep going strong. 💚
Wow, that was really nice of Chewy I dunno if it'll help at all, but I heard a good quote from a show (Locke & Key) that resonated with me. "Grief never gets any smaller, so you have to make yourself bigger around it, and the best way to do that is to open up and let people in" Personally I know that's helped me, and I appreciate these past vlogs where you two opened up and let your friends and viewers help with this.
I admit it's very hard to watch a man or woman cry about a lost loved one, I can't imagine the pain you two must be going through. But I'm glad we can do our part to help you grieve and keep his memory alive, I'm also so glad you have each other and Keppy.
Ahh man. Keep crying along with these vlogs, but wouldn't have it any other way. Been here for 8+ years...not about to shy away from the tough times. Here for you all. Love you guys.
I'm so sorry you two had to go through this. It's never easy losing a member of the family. I had to say goodbye to my little buddy Leo in December. It's a pain I wouldn't wish on anyone and it's absolutely okay to cry. You should never bottle up your emotions, and I commend you for sharing the healing process with us. Sagan will always be in our hearts and thus, shall never be forgotten. He is playing amongst the stars with his eponym. Rest in peace little guy.
While it was hard, and still is hard to watch through these past week of videos, I feel like it had to be done on my part as well. I've gone through a similar feeling when my cat Nene passed away as well and now I have her Urn sitting on my desk where I'm always at and I see it every day. Recently I got a little plush shiba that my friend got from a gatcha machine while in Japan, and now I have it sitting on the urn as kind of a guard for the jar. To be fair, every time I try and talk about my own experience, I will tear up and maybe cry a bit still, so don't be sorry for any of it. It will hurt still and sometimes make us sad, but we know that we've loved our pets with all we can and will continue to do so regardless of any situations we find ourselves in. Be happy and stay strong Stephen and Mal!
Seeing as this vlog was filmed on Pokémon Day, I am reminded of my favorite line in any Pokémon game ever: "Those whose memories fade seek to carve them in their hearts." I know that the love you had for Sagan, and the love he had for you, will always be with you. Even if you forget everything, even if all these vlogs somehow disappear, Sagan will always be in your heart. And he shall be in ours.
Our neighbors on one side of us have a cat named Einstein and the neighbors on the other side of us have a dog named Edison. When I got my two cockatiels 22 years ago I named them Donizetti and Nemorino (nicknamed Donnie and Reno). Donnie just had his 22nd birthday in July 2022. Reno passed 5 years ago. Donizetti was my favorite opera composer and Nemorino was a character in one of Gaetano Donizetti’s operas. I always have to explain the names.
This last week of vlogs have been hard to get through, but it's worth it just to see how you cope because it's real hard to lose a pet so suddenly. Now that you've got Sagan back home again, you can at least begin building up a new normal. ❤
I know how this feels. I had may cat cremated as well. He;s sitting at home where he should be. Both are family for us. Home is where you're family is people say and that's where they truly belong. Home. Let's all remember him with the best of times. Started to cry at the end of this video honestly.
The ending reminded me of a lyric in one of my favorite musicals, Next To Normal. I don't need a life that's normal, that's way too far away But something next to normal would be okay Yeah, something next to normal That's the thing I'd like to try Close enough to normal to get by We'll get by, we'll get by
I lost my dog a little over a year ago, and to this day, I still feel emotional when I look at his urn. I know the feeling you two felt when you got Sagan back. All of my love to you both.
I wanted to cry along with you at the end. I'm going to miss Sagan too and will continue to pray for you and Mal to have the strength to stay strong during this sad time in your lives.
OMG. Chewy is amazing. Also, Stephen, I have to admit, the first time I watched this Vlog, I didn't really understand why bringing Sagan home was so important. Honestly, I thought it was weird because it was like "You're not bringing the cat home physically, so this is weird" Then we had to put our dog down. We had him cremated because we couldn't stand the idea of him being in a mass pet grave. My perspective has changed now. Now I understand why it was so important to get him home. Our dog Ozzie is now up on a shelf in our living room with paw print molds that we had made, a photo of him, a few of his favorite toys, a photo of him and the Rainbow Bridge poem and it just feels right.
Watching this vlog honestly brought some peace. And watching you and Mal getting marginally better each and every day is good. It's good to see him back home. It's also good to remember to fonder times and not those of the final moments. Sagan will always be loved and will always be a part of the channel and the breakfast streams❤️
seeing this reminds me of how I lost my childhood cat 2 years ago :( I wish I could’ve been there for when he was put down, but I would have been too depressed to see him go ;3; I hope your recovery goes well, and I’m so sorry for your loss of Sagan 😢
It's not weird to feel that way. I've done that 3 times in my life. Though I didn't have to drive that far to get the remains of my cats. It never gets easier. That is so sweet that Chewy sent flowers! Along with refunding your card and recommending the donation, that says a lot about their company! You said it right with "new normal". That's the best way to describe it. In time the new normal will solidify. It will probably take years, I won't lie. In the meantime, mourn as you need. Your rollercoaster will steady eventually.
When you showed the plastic container that had his ashes, I started shaking. I could only imagine how'd feel going to pick it up and going back home with it. But, even though he's gone, he's back home. We will remember him for his best of times, and his best of times is his entire life
I gotta tell you, I cried a lot when Stephen showed that box at the end of the video. As a loving cat person growing up with them, I understand that kind of pain. Fortunately, I'm emotionally strong enough to watch this video cause despite what I used to go through, there will be mourning and those moments. I also remind myself in the midst that life goes on no matter what. I don't know why, but when I watched this video, I felt extreme deja vu for some reason...like something such as what you guys talked about was already said before at the end of the video...plus Sagan too... :'(
Welcome home Sagan. When my cat passed, we had her cremated too. I couldn't imagine leaving her behind anywhere else. I absolutely had to bring her home. Every year since then, I get an extra poppy on Remembrance Day (like Veteran's Day) and add it next to her urn. She sits on the piano since she always loved music and would hop up whenever it was played.
I teared up when you guys opened the flowers. Still thinking of you; I'm glad you have friends and family who are taking such good care of you while you heal
I don't know why but this vlog in particular hit me emotionally harder than the others in the past week. Crying is ok. I'm glad you have each other for comfort.
Welcome home, little buddy. He's back home where he belongs with the family that loves him. If there's truly an afterlife, Sagan is right there curled up next to Kepler purring like he never left.
We've been talking about moving, and the one thing I would hate about moving away from this house is that my childhood cat and dog are both buried here.
See about getting some charm necklaces so you can carry a little of Sagan with you all the time. Also take care of yourselves, and remember you don't have to ever stop hurting or grieving. Take as long as you need.
I will always cherish the fact that I have the ashes of both of my chonky bois that have passed on. I'm so glad you all decided on that option because he will be at home with you and will always be there in some capacity.
We buried Copper in one of my uncle's farms. It's really quiet, reserved and above a creek. Very peaceful. I know Copper is up in Heaven showing Sagan around.
I started crying with you again while watching this video. Especially when you'd made it back home and were talking about Sagan and showed the box with his name on it and everything, and when you talked about how this way he'll always be with you, no matter where you end up going. I lost my composure completely because that made me think of my first dog who, after being put down, was buried on the front yard of my childhood home. And day after day it just keeps hitting me that my parents obviously aren't going to be living there forever, and then one day they'll be gone and the dog will just.. stay there.. God, I'm a mess, but every time, with every one of these videos.. just know that I'm there with you guys in spirit. I'll cry with you, for Sagan and for my dog at the same time. And Stephen, I respect you for just crying in front of the camera instead of trying to hold it in. Cry, just cry whenever you feel like you need to. It helps and is nothing to be ashamed of.
Can we talk about Chewy’s dedication to their customers? That’s AMAZING. How nice of them.
Our boy is back where he truly belongs now. Welcome home, little buddy.
And Stephen, you have my respect for allowing the tears to flow without an apology. Whether or not that was intentional, it doesn't matter. As you said, there are times where it's okay, and even necessary, to cry, and this was one of them.
The only way Sagan could truly be gone is if we forgot him. That is never going to happen.
bwdsword that’s why it’s said everything dies twice
Something similar was said in one of the early episodes of One Piece and that's stuck with me since. Someone only truly dies if they're forgotten, but they stay alive if they always remember them.
So true, dude.
Autumn Fountain that arc had me crying like a baby.
@@Flumpling900 I can't blame you, I cried quite a bit during that arc, too.
God, seeing Mal being Stephen's rock in this vlog is so incredible. You're both so strong to be able to support each other in times of vulnerability.
I have had to cremate two kitties. I choose to get their ashes back. They sell some very beautiful pet urns and that's where I put the ashes (each has a separate urn). I put in a stray whisker or two, some of their favorite cat treats, and a little cat nip. Then I sealed the urns with silicone. My family knows that when I pass away that the urns are to be tucked into the bottom of my casket so that I can keep them close.
"the night may have grown darker but it won't last forever." -Nick Valentine.
I know exactly how this feels. I've had two cats of mine cremated after they passed and it was also good for closure for me as well. A lot of people may think it's odd to get ashes of our pets, but we do this for the humans we love, why not the animals we love as well?
I have graves of my cat's, the only one I know where it is is of my latest cat
For context when my cat's die, if we have the chance, we go to my vacation home in the middle of nowhere and we dig a grave for them, you know like we do with humans like the cremating thing
So every time we go to that house I go to his grave pay my respects
I have paw impressions from my animals. Mostly just because I didn't have the money for cremation, but my vet did the impressions for free. It really helps just knowing that they came home again. Even if it is just their paw print.
I don't know if you see this, Stephen, but someone made a video celebration of Sagan's life, and it was great. It was very well made. A lot of funny moments, good times.
In the movie Coco, they talk about how in the land of the dead there's a "second death" when the last of the living forget about their lost family members. Sagan will never truly be gone because we will all continue to remember him. Be it physical remains or memories, Sagan is still very much alive in our hearts and minds. It's comforting that Sagan won't end up experiencing a "second death" because of how much he meant to those around him
EDIT: fixed the wording a bit. I was crying pretty hard while writing this
I work in a vet clinic and I see owner's go through this often. I know exactly what you were facing and you made absolutely the right decision that was best for him. I'm a long time viewer of the vlog it's strange the peace I feel in knowing you got him cremated and he will always be with you. My own emotions have surprised me this week I've cried with you, I've prayed for you, maybe knowing he is home now, we as "Stephenites" can also have closure. -MaddCreator 💜
Once Stephen said "I love you Segan" at the end it hit hard. In all this time grieving he's said it but not like that. Not directly to him like he's still in his lap.
Watching this vlog was so hard, like every vlog this week has been. Just today, as I'm writing this, my parents are getting ready to take one of our cats (also named Teddy, actually) to the vet because he hasn't been eating, and I'm... I'm scared, you know? I'm just glad I have this community to be a part of, in the best and worst of times, and everything in between.
My family has always buried our pets on our property. I guess with burial it's like, the last time you see them they're in the form that you remember them, you know? But when we moved, my parents actually transplanted them to the new property, and that just freaked me out. So I understand some of the reasons why people cremate their pets, and while it must have been so hard, I know that's the best move for you guys. But also, living in the northeast, the ground is frozen like five months of the year, so I don't know what we'd do in that situation.
I so desperately don't want to have to find out.
I love you guys. I love you all.
EDIT: Really, sincerely didn't want to make this edit. We're losing Teddy tonight due to kidney failure. He was a stray for so long, we never knew his age. I guess I can take solace in the fact that we gave him a very comfortable and loving final four years. I'll be watching the stream tonight, surrounded by a loving community. Once again, I love you all.
I’m so sorry for your loss. Teddy is up with Sagan now. We’ll all be here for you. ❤️
I'm so sorry to hear of your loss. I wish you and your family the best during this terrible time. I hope you all feel marginally better every day. We'll be here for you.
So sorry for your loss. Losing a family member is never easy.
@@ReidTheNintendoPainter Thank you Reid, and everyone else for your kind words. It really means a lot.
As an update, if anyone happens to be curious, we were able to bury Teddy. My father, bless his fortitude, dug a hole back in the fall, in the event that one of our other cats, Sundae, happened to pass in the winter. She's about twenty and a half years old, so I suppose it's good to be prepared. It just sucks that this is the second winter in a row that we've had to lay a different cat to rest in a hole dug for that possibility.
Man this.... really surreal. And holding up 'the box', I started bawling...
Yep. I'm crying again too. I think because I'm just a viewer that there's a disconnect, and obviously there's been vlogs and Breakfast Streams without Sagan, but seeing "the box" made it hit me like a ton of bricks.
I was, too. I will not deny it.
I'm glad I'm cuddling my son watching this. My crying would be WAY worse. He's just very comforting.
I totally understood what you meant Stephen when your kinda excited to pick up the ashes, its like bringing the pet back home even if they are not the same anymore, its nice just knowing they are back where they belong, by your side.
There's absolutely nothing wrong with the mindset you have. I've lost multiple pets and I just felt uneasy and upset not having them close by to me. Getting their ashes gave me a bit more happiness knowing that I had them back with me where they belong.
I know Sagan didn't have a collar, but my neighbors found a really pretty box and it had compartments where they put his collar, remains, and his favorite toy. You guys probably already have ideas, but I thought I'd share what other's have done. Stay strong, we all love you and will continue to mourn with you. Sagan was a good boy.
When I think of Sagan, I think of him posed so majestically on the coffee table as you sang as him, and about how he watches over everything, and him slinky-ing down the stairway with his pickle.
It's true, grief is not linear.
The way I like to think of it is that grief is like a ball inside of a box. There's a 'pain' button inside of the box, and while grief is still fresh, the ball is huge, regularly pushing the button. But as time goes on, the ball gets smaller. It never really goes away, and there are times when the ball will still hit the button. But as you adapt, and adjust, the button is hit less often. And you become more capable of moving on.
So many cards... That shows just how much Sagan meant to people. I've lost a few furry family members in my life, yet I've never received a card. Sagan was more than just a cat. He was a part of many hearts.
I thought I was done crying over a lovable cat I never met. Halfway through it and there have been tears in my eyes telhe entire time. Rest in Paradise Sagan. Welcome Home.
It's good to see Sagan is home. If I were in their shoes I would see if it's possible to make an urn shaped like a cat and painted like him. Like others have said, Sagan is not gone as long as he has not been forgotten. But Stephen and Mal have the right and final say on what's done in the end.
I can’t imagine how hard that simple car trip must have been for the two of you. Still praying for you both everyday in this time of healing.
I completely understand about how bringing the ashes home is closure. My first cat Whiskers had lymphoma and had to be put down, and 10 years later I still have her ashes. After it just happens I think it's hard to not think of their last day, but after all this time I just remember the good stories about her. Sending you all lots of love 💜
This vlog really broke me. I've mentioned it in the past few vlogs but I had a family member pass just last month. She was in the hospital for about a month before she passed, and when my family and I went to see her after she had been admitted, I froze up in the room. I couldn't speak. When we heard she was going to pass, my family asked if I wanted to go see her one last time, but I physically couldn't. I couldn't see her how she was in that state. You mentioning remembering Sagan for all the good times you had with him reminded me of that. I couldn't go see her because that wasn't how I wanted to remember her.
This vlog made me cry not only for you, but for myself. It's been more than a month since she passed and I thought I was done crying, but I just broke down at the end remembering her just as you were remembering Sagan.
I love you, and I miss you.
So sorry for your loss. I can understand not wanting to remember them that way.
As long as you can look back on your memories of Sagan with a smile, that's what I think is really important. You loved Sagan and Sagan loved you. That will never change.
at least hes back home where he belongs
As someone who's lost a lot of pets throughout my life, there is a special moment, having their remains finally home. I'm happy that he's back with his family, although his spirit is in Heaven, as he's playing and having a good time - and free of pain.
I have my dog Oreo(who passed in 201) and my kitty Scramp (who passed in 2016) in decorative boxes (from Hobby Lobby) in my bedroom on a shelf. Bringing their ashes home felt normal. It felt comforting how I can walk past them and know they're there. I can pick up the box and hold it and smile every time i see them
I can't put into words what I've felt watching the vlog for the past week as opposed to all of the time leading up to the 20th. But it's been very different, emotional, and eventually cathartic - even though I don't know you personally. I think it affects me because I can relate, even though I never had a pet that passed away, my father did so in late 2018. And to see how others grieve, to know that grief is very different depending on who you are as a person, helps me too, if that doesn't sound weird? It's not something we'll ever get over, and like you said in this vlog, things will never go _back_ to normal. You'll just get to a _new_ normal at some point.
I also completely understand the thing about bringing your loved one with you home. We still live close to the graveyard where my dad's remains were buried, and it would be so hard to move further away knowing we can't just take a simple ten minute walk to see him anymore. In your case, it could be hours of driving, had Sagan's remains still been in Charleston. It feels better when they're close to home where you are. ❤
I completely agree with what you chose to do. Sagan belongs home. That’s the best resting place for him. I’m sure that’s where he would want to be, right beside his parents who loved him so dearly.
Welcome home Sagan. We missed you. ❤️
15:40 When you said this, it reminded me a lot of how, when my grandma passed a couple years ago, the first time I really cried wasn't until her funeral, because, right beforehand, there was an open-casket viewing and after they closed it, it just hit me that I would never be seeing her again and that's what brought me over the edge. I don't know that there's really any reason why I hadn't really cried before that because I was still incredibly sad and it was almost a whole week since she had passed, and I know that it wasn't that I was trying to be strong or anything like that because I don't feel like the kind of person who would be like that. The news of her passing was very sudden, as my family had gone to her place for dinner the previous evening because we did that every other week and nothing was wrong at the time, so the fact that she was gone not even a whole day later was a complete shock so it could have been just that it didn't really hit me that she was gone until the funeral but I'm just don't really know that I can say anything for sure about how I felt.
As someone who has buried a few pets and since moved, I get my solace knowing that Any and Shadow are together. They grew up together, took care of each other, and even though years separated their parting, they will always have each other. Having said that I don't think I could do that with my current dog. This has made me realize I wouldn't be happy unless I have him cremated and can always have him near me.
You’re there for each other, all three and Your family and friends.
It is a Great comfort to have someone to grieve with... and animals understand man... Kepler understands that you’re sad and does his Best to comfort you 💜
Its good to have the ashes of your pet return home with you. Ive had 2 dogs pass away, my first one I buried myself under a tree in our backyard. The tree was always visible from the window by my bed so when I woke up, I always saw it first thing.
My second, and most recent last year, I had her cremated since I moved to NYC and I cant bury her here. At least with her ashes, she is always home with me.
One thin to always remember though, treasure the memory but never dwell on it. The sadness will go away with time and eventually, it will only be smiles because the memories will only be what you treasured. Sagan will always be in your hearts as long as you never forget him.
I'm happy he's home. Closure is still a long road but you have all of us behind you both. 💗💗💗
Welcome home, Sagan. We love you.
What a gorgeous day to bring him home
I know you guys can't tell,but I hug the screen a lot,I love y'all,and I know that it's all going to be ok💚💙
I think an amazing way to reflect on sagans full life is to make a play list with every single vlog has was in so everyone can see his amazing life fully
Chewy’s a great company- when my grandparents’ cats died, they got tiny paintings of them? And overall they’re just so kind and incredible. And I’m really glad he’s home where he belongs.
I've felt a few times that these videos are hard to watch. But I want to show my support and I don't want to shy away from the pain. I've been watching the old vlogs from 2012 and it has just been a wild ride seeing him as a kitten. I honestly don't believe i have seen any of those videos until recently. But you definitely lost a great companion. He will be missed.
I'm so glad that Sagan is home where he belongs. If I may, I'd like to share one of my favourite memories of him: Your stream of Vietnamese Pokémon Crystal was already so silly and wonderful, but then Sagan, offscreen, stole the show with this incredibly prolonged "Mroooooowooooow" sound that I have NEVER heard a cat make in my entire life. You and Mal instantly cracked up, and when I'd rewatch that vod on bad days, Sagan's antics would always, always bring a smile to my face.
I'm glad Sagan is home.
home indeed, where his little cat soul can rest. once again, rest easy sweet boy
I'm glad Sagan is finally home with you guys where he belongs. I'm sure you guess will make a beautiful place for him to rest. We weren't as lucky with my Charly, we got him back in a cardboard box instead of a wooden box we thought we were getting. My boyfriend went out and got a custom box just for him when he saw how distraught I was.
We've made it, the endgame. Sagan's physical form (in ashes) is back where it belongs. This was an emotional rollercoaster. The good news is that Sagan's physical form will remain with you until the day you die, and even then you can bury him with you. This got me thinking about my chocolate lab and if I should have him cremated when he passes in a few years (he's 7 so at the very least he's still got 4 or 5 years left in him). This video ultimately made me come to the decision that I will have him cremated when he, for lack of better words, finishes his bucket list. I want to say I'm sorry for Sagan's unfortunate and early demise, but also thank you for sharing this with us. I've been watching since you got them as kittens. It really hurt hearing that Sagan had cancer, and it's gonna hurt for a while knowing he won't be a part of the vlogs anymore. For that, I say "Rest in eternal peace, Sagan Georg. You weren't just a good kitty, you were the best."
On a brighter note: Chewey knows what's up. Refunding your money, letting you donate the purchased/refunded food, AND sending you roses after Sagan's passing. That's being pro consumer. I've been buying from Chewey for years now, mostly dog toys & treats, so I'm glad to know they have my back if something happens to one of my buddies.
i loved him so much
I have nothing but respect for you guys for doing what you did. As someone who lost their mother at a young age and had her cremated, I know exactly what you meant by the sense of closure. I still visit the hill where we scattered her, as she would have wanted, but Sagan deserves to be home with his family.
You will never lose him in your heart. And he's in ours too. Again, sending all the love and warmth from England.
I’ve never seen such kindness from a company like this. That is very sweet, thank you Chewy.
It is not weird at all. In my country you can have your pet's remains made into jewelry, put in a decorative urn with personal touches and even mixed with dirt in a pot to grow a tree out of. It is good to want him home.
Welcome back, Sagan. It's good to have you back.
This past week has been a real wake up call to myself. Am I giving my best for my animals? I’ve been sure to give them more love, as I’m sure you have done to Kepler. So... thank you. Thank you for this past week, and I’m glad you have been able to grieve the way you guys have. Anyways, have a great weekend!
After having the guts to watch these past few vlog videos, I just want to come over there and hug all three of you. I'm crying now and I just got back to work the same morning. Now I dread the inevitable day I may have to say my final goodbye to my employers dog. It's with a heavy heart that anyone would write this down. And wish the best for all of you in your healing process and a healthy future.
Hes where he belongs now. Rest forever in peace. This part of greif is important. I cried too when the box came out. So much love and respect for you guys for being strong enough to film and being amazing people you are. As always see you tomorrow.
I hope when you and Mal revisit this vlog you two can see it as beautiful. That’s how I saw it. I’m proud of you two and always hope the best for you guys even the times I phase out of watching the vlog. You and your family, your community is such a wonderful thing.
As someone who has lost a pet. It’s a great feeling of comfort to know that they are always there with you. They may be gone but they will always be with you. No matter what Sagan is with you guys and he is happy to be back with you.
It's good to know that Sagan is back with you and can now find his rest in your place. Also, I'm sure we all would remember the moment of Sagan laughing.
The world always has ways to express symbolism for certain events. Sagan’s world had a dreary finale, but the clouds pass after the tragedy.
I'm glad you guys are doing better and that Sagan is home where he truly belongs. I'm glad we got to make this journey of Sagan's life with you guys, and we'll miss him dearly.
Losing a pet is never an easy thing to deal with. Me and my family went through this process last year twice within a span of 9 months with our two older cats (one from cancer and one from diabetes) and it was not easy to recover. It does take time to heal and one thing that the vet told our family to do was if you ever feel like crying, just let it out. It’s better to let it out than to hold it in. I hope you continue to recover during this rough time!
I’m glad Sagan is back home where he belongs. I completely understand how it brings a sense of closure to you both - it’s comforting just to know that he’s there with you, even if it isn’t exactly the same. I’m surprised by how deeply I’ve grieved over the past week, despite having never personally known you or the cats; these vlogs have been very hard to watch, but I genuinely appreciate that you’re sharing this with us. It’s a strange and therapeutic experience, I feel, as I also know I’ll eventually have to go through the same with our aging dogs.
Grief comes in waves, and it’s easy at times to feel like you’ve recovered during those periods of calm in between. I admire you both for how well you’re handling this immensely difficult process. We all love you, keep going strong. 💚
Wow, that was really nice of Chewy
I dunno if it'll help at all, but I heard a good quote from a show (Locke & Key) that resonated with me. "Grief never gets any smaller, so you have to make yourself bigger around it, and the best way to do that is to open up and let people in" Personally I know that's helped me, and I appreciate these past vlogs where you two opened up and let your friends and viewers help with this.
I admit it's very hard to watch a man or woman cry about a lost loved one, I can't imagine the pain you two must be going through. But I'm glad we can do our part to help you grieve and keep his memory alive, I'm also so glad you have each other and Keppy.
I'm glad Sagan's home now. I will keep praying for you both, and Kepler too.
Ahh man. Keep crying along with these vlogs, but wouldn't have it any other way. Been here for 8+ years...not about to shy away from the tough times. Here for you all. Love you guys.
I'm so sorry you two had to go through this. It's never easy losing a member of the family. I had to say goodbye to my little buddy Leo in December. It's a pain I wouldn't wish on anyone and it's absolutely okay to cry. You should never bottle up your emotions, and I commend you for sharing the healing process with us.
Sagan will always be in our hearts and thus, shall never be forgotten. He is playing amongst the stars with his eponym. Rest in peace little guy.
While it was hard, and still is hard to watch through these past week of videos, I feel like it had to be done on my part as well. I've gone through a similar feeling when my cat Nene passed away as well and now I have her Urn sitting on my desk where I'm always at and I see it every day. Recently I got a little plush shiba that my friend got from a gatcha machine while in Japan, and now I have it sitting on the urn as kind of a guard for the jar. To be fair, every time I try and talk about my own experience, I will tear up and maybe cry a bit still, so don't be sorry for any of it. It will hurt still and sometimes make us sad, but we know that we've loved our pets with all we can and will continue to do so regardless of any situations we find ourselves in.
Be happy and stay strong Stephen and Mal!
Seeing as this vlog was filmed on Pokémon Day, I am reminded of my favorite line in any Pokémon game ever:
"Those whose memories fade seek to carve them in their hearts."
I know that the love you had for Sagan, and the love he had for you, will always be with you. Even if you forget everything, even if all these vlogs somehow disappear, Sagan will always be in your heart. And he shall be in ours.
Our neighbors on one side of us have a cat named Einstein and the neighbors on the other side of us have a dog named Edison.
When I got my two cockatiels 22 years ago I named them Donizetti and Nemorino (nicknamed Donnie and Reno). Donnie just had his 22nd birthday in July 2022. Reno passed 5 years ago.
Donizetti was my favorite opera composer and Nemorino was a character in one of Gaetano Donizetti’s operas. I always have to explain the names.
This last week of vlogs have been hard to get through, but it's worth it just to see how you cope because it's real hard to lose a pet so suddenly. Now that you've got Sagan back home again, you can at least begin building up a new normal. ❤
Welcome home, Sagan
Totally can relate to this video. Just want to give Stephen and Mal big hugs.
The flowers from Chewy got me.
I know how this feels. I had may cat cremated as well. He;s sitting at home where he should be. Both are family for us. Home is where you're family is people say and that's where they truly belong. Home. Let's all remember him with the best of times. Started to cry at the end of this video honestly.
The ending reminded me of a lyric in one of my favorite musicals, Next To Normal.
I don't need a life that's normal, that's way too far away
But something next to normal would be okay
Yeah, something next to normal
That's the thing I'd like to try
Close enough to normal to get by
We'll get by, we'll get by
I lost my dog a little over a year ago, and to this day, I still feel emotional when I look at his urn. I know the feeling you two felt when you got Sagan back. All of my love to you both.
I wanted to cry along with you at the end. I'm going to miss Sagan too and will continue to pray for you and Mal to have the strength to stay strong during this sad time in your lives.
seeing the box made me bawl so hard and reminded me of my own cat who i had to put down from cancer.
Never be shameful for what's in your heart. And never apologize for when you need to let it out. Happy to see Sagan come home ❤️
OMG. Chewy is amazing. Also, Stephen, I have to admit, the first time I watched this Vlog, I didn't really understand why bringing Sagan home was so important. Honestly, I thought it was weird because it was like "You're not bringing the cat home physically, so this is weird" Then we had to put our dog down. We had him cremated because we couldn't stand the idea of him being in a mass pet grave. My perspective has changed now. Now I understand why it was so important to get him home.
Our dog Ozzie is now up on a shelf in our living room with paw print molds that we had made, a photo of him, a few of his favorite toys, a photo of him and the Rainbow Bridge poem and it just feels right.
Watching this vlog honestly brought some peace. And watching you and Mal getting marginally better each and every day is good. It's good to see him back home. It's also good to remember to fonder times and not those of the final moments. Sagan will always be loved and will always be a part of the channel and the breakfast streams❤️
I can’t imagine how hard must have been... Still praying and wishing the best for you both every single day.
seeing this reminds me of how I lost my childhood cat 2 years ago :( I wish I could’ve been there for when he was put down, but I would have been too depressed to see him go ;3; I hope your recovery goes well, and I’m so sorry for your loss of Sagan 😢
It's not Naive to hope that everything will be Okay. Because sometimes it will be.
It's not weird to feel that way. I've done that 3 times in my life. Though I didn't have to drive that far to get the remains of my cats. It never gets easier. That is so sweet that Chewy sent flowers! Along with refunding your card and recommending the donation, that says a lot about their company! You said it right with "new normal". That's the best way to describe it. In time the new normal will solidify. It will probably take years, I won't lie. In the meantime, mourn as you need. Your rollercoaster will steady eventually.
Welcome Home Sagan
When you showed the plastic container that had his ashes, I started shaking. I could only imagine how'd feel going to pick it up and going back home with it. But, even though he's gone, he's back home. We will remember him for his best of times, and his best of times is his entire life
I gotta tell you, I cried a lot when Stephen showed that box at the end of the video. As a loving cat person growing up with them, I understand that kind of pain. Fortunately, I'm emotionally strong enough to watch this video cause despite what I used to go through, there will be mourning and those moments. I also remind myself in the midst that life goes on no matter what.
I don't know why, but when I watched this video, I felt extreme deja vu for some reason...like something such as what you guys talked about was already said before at the end of the video...plus Sagan too... :'(
Welcome home Sagan.
When my cat passed, we had her cremated too. I couldn't imagine leaving her behind anywhere else. I absolutely had to bring her home. Every year since then, I get an extra poppy on Remembrance Day (like Veteran's Day) and add it next to her urn. She sits on the piano since she always loved music and would hop up whenever it was played.
I teared up when you guys opened the flowers. Still thinking of you; I'm glad you have friends and family who are taking such good care of you while you heal
I don't know why but this vlog in particular hit me emotionally harder than the others in the past week. Crying is ok. I'm glad you have each other for comfort.
Welcome home, Sagan.
Welcome home, little buddy.
He's back home where he belongs with the family that loves him. If there's truly an afterlife, Sagan is right there curled up next to Kepler purring like he never left.
What a nice blessing to receive the flowers as you brought Sagan home
We've been talking about moving, and the one thing I would hate about moving away from this house is that my childhood cat and dog are both buried here.
See about getting some charm necklaces so you can carry a little of Sagan with you all the time. Also take care of yourselves, and remember you don't have to ever stop hurting or grieving. Take as long as you need.
I will always cherish the fact that I have the ashes of both of my chonky bois that have passed on. I'm so glad you all decided on that option because he will be at home with you and will always be there in some capacity.
We buried Copper in one of my uncle's farms. It's really quiet, reserved and above a creek. Very peaceful. I know Copper is up in Heaven showing Sagan around.
I started crying with you again while watching this video. Especially when you'd made it back home and were talking about Sagan and showed the box with his name on it and everything, and when you talked about how this way he'll always be with you, no matter where you end up going. I lost my composure completely because that made me think of my first dog who, after being put down, was buried on the front yard of my childhood home. And day after day it just keeps hitting me that my parents obviously aren't going to be living there forever, and then one day they'll be gone and the dog will just.. stay there.. God, I'm a mess, but every time, with every one of these videos.. just know that I'm there with you guys in spirit. I'll cry with you, for Sagan and for my dog at the same time. And Stephen, I respect you for just crying in front of the camera instead of trying to hold it in. Cry, just cry whenever you feel like you need to. It helps and is nothing to be ashamed of.