Once again Chloe is correct, men know when they've found a woman who has low self esteem. I had a man tell me I was too good for him and he knew he wouldn't nor couldn't measure up. And when he told me that I said, "say less" and moved on with my life. Believe them the first time, good or bad.
I’ve been desperate. For family, friends and men. Worst feeling ever. It sucks & it’s crippling. It’s like you’re starved out of the love that other women have received so freely since birth.
A lot of women need to decenter romantic relationships and prioritize a season of singleness and self discovery. Many women are conditioned to focus a lot of time to get a life partner (romantic relationships) and dating, to the determinant of our personal and professional growth.
I agree with this. I also agree women can do both at the same time. While they are discovering themselves they can date and see how their taste in men changes as they are changing and evolving. I think its important for women to keep in mind they life goals and their biological clocks if they want marriage with children. I think every woman is so different and at different stages in their lives so they must move accordingly.
I completely agree. I'm currently in a season of isolation and the things am discovering about myself are so painful, yet so freeing. What I'm currently learning about myself; if I was armed with this knowledge of self before, many would have been dismissed at hello. Being alone is beautiful, empowering, peaceful and wholesome.
The way I have been out of sexual and romantic relationships for 6 years has done me so well! I had no idea how much I centered myself in relationships. Now its easier for me to look at things more objectively.
@@imo.124Considering the biological clock is tricky, marriage and parenting are different things. A child can be raised by loving parents but the parents don't really love or like each other. Marriage is first n foremost for companionship then procreation.
Keisha Cole’s family dynamics explains why she moves the ways that she does. It’s heartbreaking to watch. It’s not her fault but it’s her responsibility to do the healing work.
Thank you Chloe this video came at the right time. I'm 32 and last week Thursday I finally cut off a man who has been dilly dalling with me for 5years. He only communicates when it is convenient for him. I cut him last year but it's like I was too soft with my execution but last week I was firm and stood my ground. I'm the prize ❤ I don't deserve mediocre treatment. All you ladies here you're beautiful and you're high value prizes ❤
@@blackmantravel6954 yeah I would date other people but when he would show up it's like I would I go back to "factory reset"....but no more hadn't seen or heard from him since last year February then may 1st he gives me a call and starts a conversation like he didn't ghost me🤣🤣 1 year is enough time for self reflection, healing and having enough courage to tell the ghost that you're already dead to me since you choose to be 🙏🏿
It’s not your fault, but I learned it’s my responsibility to heal. Good for you taking responsibility, doing the work and not getting stuck in victimhood.
My mother, who is a masculina but with a very feminine external, made me feel unworthy of being feminine. She dressed herself in expensive designer clothes while I had to search for clothes in the trash, literally. For a long time, I had problems buying nice clothes for myself. Now, I am almost 50 years old, and through Chloe's wisdom, I am now investing in my feminine journey. I love being cute and girlie. It is so much fun and empowering.
i had bad daddy / father issues which caused me to be a heavy chaser and become very attached to the one guy I was in a situationship for three years. the worst time of my life. we were both so toxic and he drained the life out of me, I let myself go when I dealt with him.. I never got my hair done, nails, eyebrows, just looked a hot mess.. I officially cut him off last year and it’s the best thing I ever did for myself.. I’m now focused on myself, my life, my family and friends and enjoying every day I’m very blessed and excited for what the future holds for me. I know I’m gonna get married young because I would like to be wife and SAHM. but baby im not having no kids until I’m married first and that’s on period.. tryna break generational curses of having babies out of wedlock. plus I’m celibate, going on a year and 2 months for me I’m so proud of myself ❤ ladies we can do it!! all that energy you put into everybody, put it into yourself.
I have been guilty over desperation so many times. However, instead of being bitter, I've learned to take responsibility for my wrong choices and allowing men who were unworthy to come into my space. I love men, but my self-respect and peace are more important.
I've been through many trolls to find one just one love. Cried a many nights, made many wrong choices too. Don't beat yourself up, Forgive yourself and get therapy. Lessons build character
Yes, I have been a desperado in the past. It was the worst feeling. I couldn't understand, why would a man disturb my peace knowing full well he didn't want me. Instead of falling back, I found myself doing more, or dry begging etc. At the time, I couldn't comprehend that dynamics and always thought I was the issue because I kept meeting the same type of man and getting the same result(s). Ive come to the realization, that sometimes, men want to humble woman that he knows deep down he doesn't deserve.
I'm guilty of the same. There are people who will approach you just to see if you'll take the bait. They'll take the ego boost, then act as if nothing happened. I found myself checking in, just to "make sure they were good". I honestly just wanted the attention and energy back.
Me and Keyshia are from the same town and my family knows her family. This is a family cycle repeating itself. Her mom could’ve also used drugs while pregnant with her she was raised by her foster mother. I pray and root for Keyshia because she has been getting used like this before she was famous. She needs therapy. This is a generational curse that a lot of us don’t realize we’re repeating. Her first song was after a bad break up out here. I pray for her healing ❤❤
Not to mention her father was absent so she’s constantly looking for love in all the wrong areas. Like men that aren’t available like her father wasn’t.
I've been saying forever that it's scriptural regarding who's the prize (HE that FINDETH a wife findeth a good thing, meaning HE'S looking, NOT the woman, and it's natural in our human DNA and physiology that The sperm chases the egg, NOT the other way around!) I've been preaching this for years! I digress that I need to self examine my past to see what I may have contributed to foster dysfunction in my daughter's relationships with others 🙏
Not true. If you knew of the Bible's history, you would know it was rewritten by the Roman-Catholic church to indoctrinate blacks. It's mixed with backwards teaching. The prize is FAMILY, and that is what black women don't understand because they are so busy wanting a man to chase them to feed their ego and low-self esteem. And yall STILL don't listen to us. Their is no more black woman, she is DONE, being wiped from the gene pool. It's karma for all the unnecessary chaos, destruction, and death yall have cause us brown skin men.
I think that most people don’t like to do the inner work and being alone I was alone for a good period of 2-3 years and it made me work on my attachment issues and each time I met someone and they gave me the high and familiarity I would know it’s a toxic pattern and now I am in the most healthiest relationship no mind games and uncertainties dating with intention and growth ❤
I settled at 28 and had my child with a toxic narcissist. Felt that pressure before turning 30, loving me had nothing to do with dressing well and looking good. Because I did all that and still was insecure . I’ve changed my mindset thank God a
U know I had to realize my actions were saying desperate. I think we like to call it toxic but it’s really desperate and a man who is a narcissist will enjoy our desperate acts
I kind of feel bad for Keyshia because a lot of that desperation is rooted in childhood abandonment from both her mother and father. However he had access to the best of the best resources and would greatly benefit from therapy and other mental health supports. Engaging in these supports will also enable her to choose better quality males, too. 🙏🏽
This is one of my favourite channels, I love the realness. Recognizing the part you have played in your own repeated cycles of hurt is hard but so neccessary. Thank you Chloe, from a Caribbean sister. 🇦🇬
Wow. The title took me out! Recently, I’m being courted by a provider and I didn’t jump in bed with him right away (and still haven’t) because I saw at his single stage, he had plenty options. I recently caught myself almost begging him to open up emotionally because that’s what I need if he’s pursuing me. We shouldn’t have to “beg” for anything
This is a wonderful video. And I want you to know that the women who are a bit more mature 35+ ARE listening as well. We are willing to do the work. Not all, I admit but myself at almost 35, I am now coming down from survival mode and I want to switch into REST. I am indeed lost on how to heal this side and I really appreciate your honest, no-nonsense approach videos. Thanks for the recommendations and I WILL be checking out that book. Hope you are living your best SOFT life and look forward to more of these videos.
Of course older women are are listening and benefitting but I didn't start this platform for older women and that is OK. I started this platfrom to give back to YOUNGER women who typically are not receiving the advice from the Mature Women that they should be receiving. Sadly, many older women are in Competition with Younger Women and that is why I started this platform as a person who has gone through HELL with OLder Women. Most of the women in my Private Group are Mature and they are absolutlely Wonderful women who are willing to learn from an experienced YOUNGER woman like myself, while many of the Mature women outside of The New Feminine have been the most Jealous Nasitiest Spirited Women on this corner of the Internet. Hopefully you can take what you have learned on this platform to help someone younger than yourself. Each one teach one.
@TheNewFeminine I've met some older who are like this as well. It's why I love channels like these who aim to help the younger generation of women be better. My comment was more so to say that not all mature women are hard heads lol keep doing what you do
I feel like my unworthiness came from the school system and the workplace... bcuz even tho I was a good student and worker..... I was too obedient and agreeable.... I watched people doing all sorts of nonsense get promoted and get ahead in life and that made me feel low..... now I'm understanding that I was to blame for not having my voice heard.... and that problem came from how I was raised whereby we couldn't question adults and also religion which says you must be good at all times..... turn the other cheek type teachings
Really need this , I’ve been on nd off with this situationship since November and finally desire to cut it off. It has to be that my self esteem is low because he was not great to me, I need to work on myself
Great, informative video, as always. Raised by a single parent mother who worked at least two jobs always modeled hard work to me. My mother was a provider and ultra-independent. My needs were met and she did a lot for me. I also inherited patterns of not accepting anything from anyone (we all need someone and no need to block blessings) and unhealthy self dialogue. It is hard to analyze the unhealthy part of your childhood when your parent also did a lot of good for you. That’s my challenge that I am working on overcoming. Thank you for good action steps to do the work, Chloe!
No parent is perfect. Remember they are only humans and don’t know all the answers. Sounds like you had a mother that loved you very much and provided for you in the best way she knew how. I would be proud and grateful for that. A lot of kids have single mothers who put a man before their own kids.
WHOAAAA Chloe, this genuinely freaked me out and is divine timing because I found myself drawn to going deeper into my abandonment issues recently because I’ve noticed a pattern while currently dating. When you mentioned the self help books I literally put that exact book you mentioned on my list the other day!!! Thank you for confirming I am on the right path… 🙏
This really resonated with me and I especially love the part where you're talking about it's the man's job to find a wife. Like that has been a major issue for me. Like I've been trying to find a man and all this but it hasn't been working and now I'm not looking for anybody so I've done maybe half the work but hearing that really hit it home for me
The issue is that men are at a point they are not looking for wives anymore. There are no marriage-minded and marriage-ready women. It is NOT a man's job to look for a wife. Yall keep forgetting the verse that says let no one separate who The Lord has brought together. You have to read the Bible holistically. But why wont women admit when they do meet marriage-minded men, they play hide and seek (wanting him to chase her) or she simply puts in no effort and the man moves on because she behaved like stale chips? Black women, its too late for yall, the ship been sailed. Yall failed over and over and no one will tell you that
Absolutely right Chloe…you’re always on point 👌🏾 So thankful I’ve done the work to value myself and have high self esteem. It has allowed me to raise a young lady with both, reflected by the choices she makes in men…her boyfriend is a provider who adores and respects her despite them having totally different backgrounds. Do the work ladies the self love allows us to set clear boundaries and stick to them…it’s empowering walking away from someone who doesn’t deserve your amazing energy 💜
Yes..sigh 😞 I have traversed the landscape of the desperate, but thank goodness I didn't plant my flag and take up permenant residence there. The experience, as Chloe advised, is recoverable and the work is worth it. You are!! ❤
As a woman who had to grow up & evolve from being needy & dating with better intentions & expectations from myself & what I’d want within a partner. I’m 32 no kids & I had to be more open to dating older 10+ due to the men within my demographic not being stable enough. It’s always good for me to watch videos like this as a way to self check & learn from. Thank you Chloe ❤
What superb video. I was desperate after my divorxe and my Dad passed suddenly. Lots of therapy, prayer and self help also helped me. It takes work but you are worth it! ❤👑
Hi Chloe. Thank you for your videos. Top tier and they opened my eyes on how i should be feminine and confident. I really needed the inspo. Please keep keep up your great work. Sending love all the way from Zimbabwe 🇿🇼
Whoa! Another mic drop of a session Chloe. You have a gift to enlighten women and w/such finesse that even an ole Gal like me learns something every time.👍🏾🙂💕
I’m not currently in the dating or marriage mindset rn. I have a whole lot I need to focus on and get together before I do. I love the channel though. Great content.❤
Love this channel❤ Thank You for sharing your wisdom, encouraging healthy self esteem and self love for ourself and encouraging us to grow and heal ourselves.
In the last part (30 seconds of the clip) of the clip does anyone know who lady is wearing bright pink blazer with the blonde hair? She was talking a whole word about boundaries.
It's sad that Keyshia Cole is in her 40s still making the same dating mistakes that she was making in her younger years. I think the problem is her upbringing. She needs a lot of therapy.
Great Video Chloe! 💋.. was wondering if you could do an extension video that explains the differences between feeling worthy and feeling entitled...thank you 💋
The things women need to do is 1. Love themselves and love themselves being alone. 2. Let men be men. Stop trying to change him, he will change for the better if he wants to. 3. Do not try to go tit for tat with men. It will save your mentality as a woman. 😊
I find it disgusting when women don't have self-respect...like you know A LOT of stupidity can be avoided by loving yourself right? I see it a lot as a woman in her early twenties. It is so sad to see, I don't have a lot of friends because of it and they never take my advice when I tell them to heal and find someone that actually likes them. I see them having pregnancy scares for men that don't care if they're alive, driving up and down to see broke bums, housing hobosexuals, buying them clothes and feeding them, just doing a bunch of stuff they won't have to do if they had respect for themselves. It's so icky and I stopped feeling bad for them because at what point are you going to realize you attract bums that want to manipulate you because of your lack of self-love. I also don't get how some women can hate themselves so much that they need other's validation. Your parents' lack of love towards you should not make you chase after ppl who don't love you, it should motivate you to actually find someone who does and THEY ARE out there, you just need to search in the right places. not clubs, parties, functions, resorts, or any place that is hookup central. You're easy to manipulate when you don't know yourself. Please journal, get granny hobbies that allow you to self-reflect, meditate, and forgive yourself. I wish you ladies the best!
Your tips are very helpful! However, since you’re so perfect and already have that self love, and, assuming that you’ve been raised in a perfect home with loving parents, you wouldn’t know the first thing about how being neglected in childhood, and essentially abandoned by your parents will affect one’s self esteem and how that can cause one to be desperate and search for that love else where. It’s a very human trait to want to feel love through companionship and intimacy through romance. I agree that people need to do the work to heal and to know one’s self, but let’s have a little compassion, especially for young women in their 20s who just don’t know any better. I’m saying this as a 24 year old who has been desperate due to childhood trauma and I’m starting to know better because of videos like Chloe’s and I’m starting to do the work. Everyone has different timelines for their healing journey. It may take someone longer to reach that point.
You do realize if you're an attractive person, you're going to attract all types of people. Bums, duties, and the sort. As women, do we have a lot of work to do? Absolutely, but please be careful in coming in as condescending. I can almost guarantee there are areas in your life that you lacking as well, why you're human!
I am tired of hearing this, especially from women, DO THE WORK EARLY IN LIFE, STOP GIVING YOURSELF TO WORTHLESS MEN OR MEN THAT ARE NOT TRUELY FOR YOU AND THEN SAY IT IS ALL MEN. GO TO THERAPY EARLY IN YOUR 20 SOMETHING, WE ALL HAVE CHILDHOOD ISSUES, DO NOT COMPOUND THEM WITH RELATIONSHIP ISSUES OR GETTING RAN THROUGH AS A WOMAN IT IS WORST FOR YOUR EMOTIONAL HEALTH. DESPERATION NORMAL COMES AFTER GETTING DRAGGED BY LIFE AND MEN THAT NEVER HAD FUTURE PLANS FOR YOU AND YOUR KEEP CHASING THE SAME TYPE OF MAN AND NOT ADDRESSING THE UNDERLYING PERSONAL ISSUES. THIS IS NOT ROCKET SCIENCE. LAST, TRULY LEARN, LISTEN AND WORK WITH YOUR MAN!!!!!!
You have to comment on the decision between whether you rather see a bear or a man in the woods. The birthrate is low and society will drastically change with women being afraid of men.
I adore your teachings and womanhood lessons✨🫶🏽. I've learned so much from you over 2 years and chowed down on each wisdom nugget lol. Thank you Chloe💋🫶🏽. I'll continue to take notes ✍🏽 in this endless journey.
Yet those sat they are the prize, the better gender, the more needed ones. Those also say that males do not need to prove themselves to a woman, she needs to prove herself to a king. 😱🙄👀🧐🤔
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Desperation has a scent. It has its own energy. Men will ef dat, they won’t wife dat. 💯
well said!
Agreed‼️
Some mxn do wife the doormat 🫤
That's why things like divorce exists.
He will marry that person if he's toxic; if you can be used/constant supply...
Men marry desperate women EVERY day!!!! Never mistake that
“Don’t tap dance with the therapist!!!” Lay it all out! If you’re not feeling the therapist change them immediately.
I just went to her page ...she still posting love quotes...this is truly sad
Facts...
Wow! 💯
Once again Chloe is correct, men know when they've found a woman who has low self esteem. I had a man tell me I was too good for him and he knew he wouldn't nor couldn't measure up. And when he told me that I said, "say less" and moved on with my life. Believe them the first time, good or bad.
Amen!!! Women be like that too. THANKFUL TO WALK AWAY!!!!
Well he told me that, but I didn't listen, thinking I would convince him otherwise. From now on I'm believing it
@@kgadimokaba3600right
I’ve been desperate. For family, friends and men. Worst feeling ever. It sucks & it’s crippling. It’s like you’re starved out of the love that other women have received so freely since birth.
Same. It's the worst feeling. Wishing you the best 🤗
@@Zen-cx5tcThanks. 🙏🏾
That’s a fact. People will shame you for not knowing any better. It’s very sad.
I hope you all get the love that you all deserve. 💞💓💖💝☺️
@@chakralove4300 It is a vicious cycle, because you usually only can attract what you already have. I get it. Most cannot relate.
A lot of women need to decenter romantic relationships and prioritize a season of singleness and self discovery. Many women are conditioned to focus a lot of time to get a life partner (romantic relationships) and dating, to the determinant of our personal and professional growth.
I agree with this. I also agree women can do both at the same time. While they are discovering themselves they can date and see how their taste in men changes as they are changing and evolving. I think its important for women to keep in mind they life goals and their biological clocks if they want marriage with children. I think every woman is so different and at different stages in their lives so they must move accordingly.
I completely agree. I'm currently in a season of isolation and the things am discovering about myself are so painful, yet so freeing. What I'm currently learning about myself; if I was armed with this knowledge of self before, many would have been dismissed at hello. Being alone is beautiful, empowering, peaceful and wholesome.
The way I have been out of sexual and romantic relationships for 6 years has done me so well! I had no idea how much I centered myself in relationships. Now its easier for me to look at things more objectively.
@@imo.124Considering the biological clock is tricky, marriage and parenting are different things.
A child can be raised by loving parents but the parents don't really love or like each other.
Marriage is first n foremost for companionship then procreation.
I wouldn’t do that while inner healing
Keisha Cole’s family dynamics explains why she moves the ways that she does. It’s heartbreaking to watch. It’s not her fault but it’s her responsibility to do the healing work.
Well said
Very true. Still rooting for her, but she HAS to do the work!!
The thing is, do she WANT to do the work? Or, do she think she has work to do?
@@VerleanHurd It’s her journey to figure it out. A lot of ppl lack the awareness until the pain is unbearable 🤷🏽♀️
At 40+ with access to therapy, it is her FAULT ATP 🤨!!!
Thank you Chloe this video came at the right time. I'm 32 and last week Thursday I finally cut off a man who has been dilly dalling with me for 5years. He only communicates when it is convenient for him. I cut him last year but it's like I was too soft with my execution but last week I was firm and stood my ground. I'm the prize ❤ I don't deserve mediocre treatment. All you ladies here you're beautiful and you're high value prizes ❤
Bro 5 years 😭😂 a man knows with in 2-3 months whether he wants to be with you.
Proud of you girl! You will get the man you deserve!! No more settling for less ❤👑
@@blackmantravel6954 yeah I would date other people but when he would show up it's like I would I go back to "factory reset"....but no more hadn't seen or heard from him since last year February then may 1st he gives me a call and starts a conversation like he didn't ghost me🤣🤣
1 year is enough time for self reflection, healing and having enough courage to tell the ghost that you're already dead to me since you choose to be 🙏🏿
@@kaoshi_kutie thank you sweetie ❤...I've just put this in my 'lessons learnt file'
@@kaoshi_kutieAgreed! You did the right thing! Always try to put yourself first. ❤
It appears she has the same taste in men as she did at 22
I try to work on myself self-esteem daily I let my family destroy it coming up but not anymore
It’s not your fault, but I learned it’s my responsibility to heal. Good for you taking responsibility, doing the work and not getting stuck in victimhood.
🎉🎉🎉Congrats!
My mother, who is a masculina but with a very feminine external, made me feel unworthy of being feminine. She dressed herself in expensive designer clothes while I had to search for clothes in the trash, literally. For a long time, I had problems buying nice clothes for myself. Now, I am almost 50 years old, and through Chloe's wisdom, I am now investing in my feminine journey. I love being cute and girlie. It is so much fun and empowering.
Amen
Keep going queen. You deserve to look your nest everyday. Shine queen.
i had bad daddy / father issues which caused me to be a heavy chaser and become very attached to the one guy I was in a situationship for three years. the worst time of my life. we were both so toxic and he drained the life out of me, I let myself go when I dealt with him.. I never got my hair done, nails, eyebrows, just looked a hot mess.. I officially cut him off last year and it’s the best thing I ever did for myself.. I’m now focused on myself, my life, my family and friends and enjoying every day I’m very blessed and excited for what the future holds for me. I know I’m gonna get married young because I would like to be wife and SAHM. but baby im not having no kids until I’m married first and that’s on period.. tryna break generational curses of having babies out of wedlock. plus I’m celibate, going on a year and 2 months for me I’m so proud of myself ❤ ladies we can do it!! all that energy you put into everybody, put it into yourself.
I have been guilty over desperation so many times. However, instead of being bitter, I've learned to take responsibility for my wrong choices and allowing men who were unworthy to come into my space. I love men, but my self-respect and peace are more important.
I've been through many trolls to find one just one love. Cried a many nights, made many wrong choices too. Don't beat yourself up, Forgive yourself and get therapy. Lessons build character
When were not shown healthy love dynamic since childhood we'd be conditioned to seek that love from anyone offer to give even if that person hurt us
Yes, I have been a desperado in the past. It was the worst feeling. I couldn't understand, why would a man disturb my peace knowing full well he didn't want me. Instead of falling back, I found myself doing more, or dry begging etc. At the time, I couldn't comprehend that dynamics and always thought I was the issue because I kept meeting the same type of man and getting the same result(s). Ive come to the realization, that sometimes, men want to humble woman that he knows deep down he doesn't deserve.
I'm guilty of the same. There are people who will approach you just to see if you'll take the bait. They'll take the ego boost, then act as if nothing happened. I found myself checking in, just to "make sure they were good". I honestly just wanted the attention and energy back.
Me and Keyshia are from the same town and my family knows her family. This is a family cycle repeating itself. Her mom could’ve also used drugs while pregnant with her she was raised by her foster mother. I pray and root for Keyshia because she has been getting used like this before she was famous. She needs therapy. This is a generational curse that a lot of us don’t realize we’re repeating. Her first song was after a bad break up out here. I pray for her healing ❤❤
Not to mention her father was absent so she’s constantly looking for love in all the wrong areas. Like men that aren’t available like her father wasn’t.
This should to be taught in high school. It would save girls a lot of heart ache & time. Thanks Chole
They try to at some schools but it’s mostly an inside job.
I've been saying forever that it's scriptural regarding who's the prize (HE that FINDETH a wife findeth a good thing, meaning HE'S looking, NOT the woman,
and it's natural in our human DNA and physiology that
The sperm chases the egg, NOT the other way around!) I've been preaching this for years!
I digress that I need to self examine my past to see what I may have contributed to foster dysfunction in my daughter's relationships with others 🙏
Not true. If you knew of the Bible's history, you would know it was rewritten by the Roman-Catholic church to indoctrinate blacks. It's mixed with backwards teaching. The prize is FAMILY, and that is what black women don't understand because they are so busy wanting a man to chase them to feed their ego and low-self esteem. And yall STILL don't listen to us. Their is no more black woman, she is DONE, being wiped from the gene pool. It's karma for all the unnecessary chaos, destruction, and death yall have cause us brown skin men.
The Robert Greene quote at the end... spot on!
I think that most people don’t like to do the inner work and being alone I was alone for a good period of 2-3 years and it made me work on my attachment issues and each time I met someone and they gave me the high and familiarity I would know it’s a toxic pattern and now I am in the most healthiest relationship no mind games and uncertainties dating with intention and growth ❤
I settled at 28 and had my child with a toxic narcissist. Felt that pressure before turning 30, loving me had nothing to do with dressing well and looking good. Because I did all that and still was insecure . I’ve changed my mindset thank God a
U know I had to realize my actions were saying desperate. I think we like to call it toxic but it’s really desperate and a man who is a narcissist will enjoy our desperate acts
I kind of feel bad for Keyshia because a lot of that desperation is rooted in childhood abandonment from both her mother and father. However he had access to the best of the best resources and would greatly benefit from therapy and other mental health supports. Engaging in these supports will also enable her to choose better quality males, too. 🙏🏽
This is one of my favourite channels, I love the realness. Recognizing the part you have played in your own repeated cycles of hurt is hard but so neccessary. Thank you Chloe, from a Caribbean sister. 🇦🇬
🇦🇬🇦🇬🇦🇬🇦🇬
Wow. The title took me out!
Recently, I’m being courted by a provider and I didn’t jump in bed with him right away (and still haven’t) because I saw at his single stage, he had plenty options. I recently caught myself almost begging him to open up emotionally because that’s what I need if he’s pursuing me.
We shouldn’t have to “beg” for anything
This is a wonderful video. And I want you to know that the women who are a bit more mature 35+ ARE listening as well. We are willing to do the work. Not all, I admit but myself at almost 35, I am now coming down from survival mode and I want to switch into REST. I am indeed lost on how to heal this side and I really appreciate your honest, no-nonsense approach videos. Thanks for the recommendations and I WILL be checking out that book.
Hope you are living your best SOFT life and look forward to more of these videos.
Of course older women are are listening and benefitting but I didn't start this platform for older women and that is OK. I started this platfrom to give back to YOUNGER women who typically are not receiving the advice from the Mature Women that they should be receiving. Sadly, many older women are in Competition with Younger Women and that is why I started this platform as a person who has gone through HELL with OLder Women. Most of the women in my Private Group are Mature and they are absolutlely Wonderful women who are willing to learn from an experienced YOUNGER woman like myself, while many of the Mature women outside of The New Feminine have been the most Jealous Nasitiest Spirited Women on this corner of the Internet. Hopefully you can take what you have learned on this platform to help someone younger than yourself. Each one teach one.
@TheNewFeminine I've met some older who are like this as well. It's why I love channels like these who aim to help the younger generation of women be better. My comment was more so to say that not all mature women are hard heads lol keep doing what you do
I feel like my unworthiness came from the school system and the workplace... bcuz even tho I was a good student and worker..... I was too obedient and agreeable.... I watched people doing all sorts of nonsense get promoted and get ahead in life and that made me feel low..... now I'm understanding that I was to blame for not having my voice heard.... and that problem came from how I was raised whereby we couldn't question adults and also religion which says you must be good at all times..... turn the other cheek type teachings
Really need this , I’ve been on nd off with this situationship since November and finally desire to cut it off. It has to be that my self esteem is low because he was not great to me, I need to work on myself
Great, informative video, as always. Raised by a single parent mother who worked at least two jobs always modeled hard work to me. My mother was a provider and ultra-independent. My needs were met and she did a lot for me. I also inherited patterns of not accepting anything from anyone (we all need someone and no need to block blessings) and unhealthy self dialogue. It is hard to analyze the unhealthy part of your childhood when your parent also did a lot of good for you. That’s my challenge that I am working on overcoming.
Thank you for good action steps to do the work, Chloe!
No parent is perfect. Remember they are only humans and don’t know all the answers. Sounds like you had a mother that loved you very much and provided for you in the best way she knew how. I would be proud and grateful for that. A lot of kids have single mothers who put a man before their own kids.
WHOAAAA Chloe, this genuinely freaked me out and is divine timing because I found myself drawn to going deeper into my abandonment issues recently because I’ve noticed a pattern while currently dating. When you mentioned the self help books I literally put that exact book you mentioned on my list the other day!!! Thank you for confirming I am on the right path… 🙏
This really resonated with me and I especially love the part where you're talking about it's the man's job to find a wife. Like that has been a major issue for me. Like I've been trying to find a man and all this but it hasn't been working and now I'm not looking for anybody so I've done maybe half the work but hearing that really hit it home for me
The issue is that men are at a point they are not looking for wives anymore. There are no marriage-minded and marriage-ready women. It is NOT a man's job to look for a wife. Yall keep forgetting the verse that says let no one separate who The Lord has brought together. You have to read the Bible holistically. But why wont women admit when they do meet marriage-minded men, they play hide and seek (wanting him to chase her) or she simply puts in no effort and the man moves on because she behaved like stale chips? Black women, its too late for yall, the ship been sailed. Yall failed over and over and no one will tell you that
I didn't know I was desperate 😭. I need to work on my self worth 💔😞
Hi Chloe. Thank you for the upload. I wasted so much time being desperate and weaponizing the wallet now I know better
Absolutely right Chloe…you’re always on point 👌🏾
So thankful I’ve done the work to value myself and have high self esteem. It has allowed me to raise a young lady with both, reflected by the choices she makes in men…her boyfriend is a provider who adores and respects her despite them having totally different backgrounds. Do the work ladies the self love allows us to set clear boundaries and stick to them…it’s empowering walking away from someone who doesn’t deserve your amazing energy 💜
Yes..sigh 😞 I have traversed the landscape of the desperate, but thank goodness I didn't plant my flag and take up permenant residence there. The experience, as Chloe advised, is recoverable and the work is worth it. You are!! ❤
As a woman who had to grow up & evolve from being needy & dating with better intentions & expectations from myself & what I’d want within a partner. I’m 32 no kids & I had to be more open to dating older 10+ due to the men within my demographic not being stable enough. It’s always good for me to watch videos like this as a way to self check & learn from. Thank you Chloe ❤
What superb video. I was desperate after my divorxe and my Dad passed suddenly. Lots of therapy, prayer and self help also helped me. It takes work but you are worth it! ❤👑
The message in this video is so relevant and healing that I had to play it twice. ThankYou Sis🥰
I needed to see this reminder thank you!! I’m taking a break from dating for real! Decentering men for a little bit reset.
Hi Chloe. Thank you for your videos. Top tier and they opened my eyes on how i should be feminine and confident. I really needed the inspo. Please keep keep up your great work. Sending love all the way from Zimbabwe 🇿🇼
Whoa! Another mic drop of a session Chloe. You have a gift to enlighten women and w/such finesse that even an ole Gal like me learns something every time.👍🏾🙂💕
There is no quick fix! There are layers and levels! Radical self investment is required!!❤
Loved this message Sister Queen... Well done! 👑💛🙏🏽
My mom taught me how to see myself as unworthy. Yes I have been unknowingly desperate for a man.
Just ordered the recommended book!
Really good book!
Thank you Chloe for your messages. Your insight and intuition is on point.
I’m not currently in the dating or marriage mindset rn. I have a whole lot I need to focus on and get together before I do. I love the channel though. Great content.❤
Bravo Chloe! 👏🏾💄💄♥️
Love this channel❤ Thank You for sharing your wisdom, encouraging healthy self esteem and self love for ourself and encouraging us to grow and heal ourselves.
In the last part (30 seconds of the clip) of the clip does anyone know who lady is wearing bright pink blazer with the blonde hair? She was talking a whole word about boundaries.
The actress Sharon Stone.
@@xtina_da_doll8681 Thank you kindly
@@marieporter6631 most welcome Hun 💕
It's sad that Keyshia Cole is in her 40s still making the same dating mistakes that she was making in her younger years. I think the problem is her upbringing. She needs a lot of therapy.
Guess I’m not a desperate woman lol
Brothers single is the new peace of mind
Great Video Chloe! 💋.. was wondering if you could do an extension video that explains the differences between feeling worthy and feeling entitled...thank you 💋
It's been a while since I've caught a video, but you never disappoint. You've helped me tremendously 💜♾️🌻
The things women need to do is 1. Love themselves and love themselves being alone. 2. Let men be men. Stop trying to change him, he will change for the better if he wants to. 3. Do not try to go tit for tat with men. It will save your mentality as a woman. 😊
Thank you sooo much, Chloe 🙏🏿 Your videos have been soo enlightening for me (along with therapy) has helped me to grow ❤
A man asks, "do you love me"? A woman asks, "how much do you love me"?😂
I absolutely love your videos. Powerful truths.
I find it disgusting when women don't have self-respect...like you know A LOT of stupidity can be avoided by loving yourself right? I see it a lot as a woman in her early twenties. It is so sad to see, I don't have a lot of friends because of it and they never take my advice when I tell them to heal and find someone that actually likes them. I see them having pregnancy scares for men that don't care if they're alive, driving up and down to see broke bums, housing hobosexuals, buying them clothes and feeding them, just doing a bunch of stuff they won't have to do if they had respect for themselves. It's so icky and I stopped feeling bad for them because at what point are you going to realize you attract bums that want to manipulate you because of your lack of self-love. I also don't get how some women can hate themselves so much that they need other's validation. Your parents' lack of love towards you should not make you chase after ppl who don't love you, it should motivate you to actually find someone who does and THEY ARE out there, you just need to search in the right places. not clubs, parties, functions, resorts, or any place that is hookup central. You're easy to manipulate when you don't know yourself. Please journal, get granny hobbies that allow you to self-reflect, meditate, and forgive yourself. I wish you ladies the best!
Your tips are very helpful! However, since you’re so perfect and already have that self love, and, assuming that you’ve been raised in a perfect home with loving parents, you wouldn’t know the first thing about how being neglected in childhood, and essentially abandoned by your parents will affect one’s self esteem and how that can cause one to be desperate and search for that love else where. It’s a very human trait to want to feel love through companionship and intimacy through romance. I agree that people need to do the work to heal and to know one’s self, but let’s have a little compassion, especially for young women in their 20s who just don’t know any better. I’m saying this as a 24 year old who has been desperate due to childhood trauma and I’m starting to know better because of videos like Chloe’s and I’m starting to do the work. Everyone has different timelines for their healing journey. It may take someone longer to reach that point.
You do realize if you're an attractive person, you're going to attract all types of people. Bums, duties, and the sort. As women, do we have a lot of work to do? Absolutely, but please be careful in coming in as condescending. I can almost guarantee there are areas in your life that you lacking as well, why you're human!
@@planettee5424 I agree and I’m 24 as well. Her comment was very finger wagging like and we DON’T do that in what is supposed to be a safe space.
I’m 34 and all I can say sweetheart is to keep on living. I do wish you the best though.
Self love doesn't have an on-off switch. For some it's hard to achieve self love.
Loved this message ❤
Thank you ❤
I am tired of hearing this, especially from women, DO THE WORK EARLY IN LIFE, STOP GIVING YOURSELF TO WORTHLESS MEN OR MEN THAT ARE NOT TRUELY FOR YOU AND THEN SAY IT IS ALL MEN. GO TO THERAPY EARLY IN YOUR 20 SOMETHING, WE ALL HAVE CHILDHOOD ISSUES, DO NOT COMPOUND THEM WITH RELATIONSHIP ISSUES OR GETTING RAN THROUGH AS A WOMAN IT IS WORST FOR YOUR EMOTIONAL HEALTH. DESPERATION NORMAL COMES AFTER GETTING DRAGGED BY LIFE AND MEN THAT NEVER HAD FUTURE PLANS FOR YOU AND YOUR KEEP CHASING THE SAME TYPE OF MAN AND NOT ADDRESSING THE UNDERLYING PERSONAL ISSUES. THIS IS NOT ROCKET SCIENCE. LAST, TRULY LEARN, LISTEN AND WORK WITH YOUR MAN!!!!!!
Chloe_! You’re back! ❤
What I need to hear. Thanks.
Keyshia cole has been getting hurt & played since her first album its time she seeks therapy she jeeps picking the same men .
You have to comment on the decision between whether you rather see a bear or a man in the woods. The birthrate is low and society will drastically change with women being afraid of men.
Great video ❤
Dont worry. No one is chasing at all. From both sides.
Yes Chloe ❤
She should have just stayed with Booby if she was just going to keep looking a fool smh
Dry begging 😂
Also let them know you don't qualify for certain men if everybody got access to you
I adore your teachings and womanhood lessons✨🫶🏽. I've learned so much from you over 2 years and chowed down on each wisdom nugget lol. Thank you Chloe💋🫶🏽. I'll continue to take notes ✍🏽 in this endless journey.
Period
Desperate attachment=insecue attachments
Yet those sat they are the prize, the better gender, the more needed ones. Those also say that males do not need to prove themselves to a woman, she needs to prove herself to a king. 😱🙄👀🧐🤔
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True story 👏🏼👏🏼
🤔 taking notes 📝 ( I’m a man by the way 😎)
👏🏾👏🏾👏🏾👏🏾👏🏾
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She should've stayed with her ex husband
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First
Woman always have to love a Man more, its in you nature. Woman will never respect the Man that simps
Nah
@@GDL364 yes
Keysha Cole is a Pickmeisha….
Man chloe why you had to say she was a libra we was trying to keep that under wraps 😂😂
You Libras are something else…
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