My First Psychosis / Spiritual Awakening | Drug-Induced Psychosis (Cannabis and DMT)
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- เผยแพร่เมื่อ 18 ก.ค. 2019
- I have been avoiding posting about my experience with psychosis until now. In this video, I cover the beginning of my experience with psychosis before I was taken to the hospital. My goal in posting this is to both let go and heal for myself, while also sharing with others in hopes that it helps others as well. Thank you for watching and your support, I appreciate you. I hope my experience can speak to you in some way.
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Thank you for sharing. I experienced psychosis in 2014 and 5 years later still processing it. I also felt like I had touched enlightenment and had a sense of purpose, and that knowing that love was everything. There's something in me that tells me there's more to it than Western society paints.. that the 'hallucinations' or 'false beliefs' we have in that state are actually closer to reality than we realize. To me part of the healing is owning the sacredness of my experience. It's been a long journey. When I still believed that I had gone crazy, that I was broken, I only felt shame over my experience, and that doesn't feel right. I still haven't processed everything, but our journeys are too similar (you, me, and so many others) to be categorized as crazy. Reality is just a collective agreement on an interpretation of a situation, and if so many of us are waking up, feeling this purpose, this deep understanding that we are here for a reason, I think it is unwise to discount it as 'crazy'. We are more than our bodies. Psychosis can be scary, but there is great learning within the depths.
Thank you for sharing. I can relate in a lot of ways with what you said here. There is definitely a lot that is misunderstood and a lot of our experience that is cast to the side and is deemed as no value or a problem. There is a lot to be learned from these experiences, although I would not wish them on anybody. Glad to know you have experienced similar things. I wish you the best with your integration and learning. Thank you!
I had same experience!!! 😮 isn’t it odd we all have.. similar experiences.. been bout a year and half ago for me. I still have visions before I fall asleep.. a few days a week usually. I have eye floaters now light flashes too. But I think anxiety caused it.. I had such physical symptoms too. Still do some.
@@AHF1993 So all this research has led you to recommend a piece written in DMT Nexus. Have you been to a therapist after what happened to you? if so was the therapy short or long?
They just want us to think we’re crazy because once you wake up they can’t control you anymore and you can wake other humans up. The controllers know the truth and hide it from us have for thousands of years
@@marknewsome-guru7054 I'm totally up for this discussion. How do they control you and why can't they control you afterwards? I mean there has to be a reason for them not being able to control you anymore.
In my awakening I realised that "Jesus" is in all of us, we need to reach that curtain level and state of consciousness. It blew my mind. That's why we all experience this same feeling of purpose. The ones in control know this. They are at that same consciousness level but chose evil. They know we are waking up. That's why we are all being put into isolation. So we can't raise our level as a whole.
Thank you for sharing. I agree, we are all part of creation and growing every day. We are connected to everything and when we reach a certain level of consciousness we can see, feel, and understand that. I am glad you had this understanding during your experience. 🙏 Thanks again for sharing. :)
That’s a really good perspective and that seems really true to me
Mate I saw this exact same thing. It was like the ‘Jesus’ thing is a state of mind that it’s possible to reach, and it’s some latent potential that anybody can get to. I kept seeing flashes of Jesus on the cross and it felt like I understood everything the guy was about, what he was trying to do and the real tragedy of it all, it made me cry. I’m not even religious and that’s what I kept seeing it was fuckin weird man
11 MTHS. Jesus must do some thing be for every one takes scripture and buildings made by man as a memory. Time is Clicking way passed by on what Jesus said he will do and has not. nothing happenning except Man made stuff to scare people and control the behaving in life for there own money living control over the least of the population. Grace
I experienced the same thing. Wow it’s nice to know I’m not the only one. I have had visions of why the world is like it is. The Devil has promised people materialistic things such as money, fame etc. He’s trying to tempt people because the flesh is weak and we find it hard to stop ourselves. God sent Jesus so he would understand what it’s like to be human and so we can follow him to come home to Heaven.
It's so mind boggling to me how so many people can experience such similar mindsets while in this state. I've experienced it myself and what you were describing seems almost exactly mirrored to my journey. Thank you so much for sharing, it makes me feel so much less alone.
I had a psychosis two-three months ago and it lasted for several weeks, I had SO many delusions and a couple hallucinations. I didn’t sleep for days on end, I was trying to make a tv show, I thought aliens were controlling reality and wanted me to bring their message to the world. Also I had that experience about seeing people for who they are. I wanted to break people down to their core and I thought life was this giant play where everybody was acting in a certain way and not being truthful or genuine. I was an atheist before but I started believing in God almost instantly. It’s strange how similar our delusions can be. I’m really struggling with getting back to reality now and it’s very difficult to come to terms with what I experienced. I feel as though I’ve been given a peek behind the curtain and now I have to just go back to acting in the play.
I had a very similar feeling during my experience. I felt like I could see people to the core as well and that they needed to let go of their fears. Recovery takes a while be patient with yourself and remember to look at the progress you have already made. If you feel like you want to chat with someone who has been through the recovery process feel free to reach out to me on Instagram.
@@justbeinghayden9451 this universe is holographic....that's why it may seem like things aren't real because it isn't. You are energy put inside a 3d game. This place was a playground for God, to experience itself, but negative ETS CAME AND MESSED IT UP
I feel this! I had a similar experience, I’d love to chat with people who have had these similar experiences!
Nice💞
@@alishaowens9333 I had an almost identical experience last year and now I keep stumbling across more and more people who have been through similar things.
"The psychotic drowns in the same waters in which the mystic swims with delight." Same language perceived and explained, through different states om mind.
You, sir, are very brave. Thank you for sharing your experience. Much love ❤️
I love that saying. Thank you.
Thank you very much for that quote.
You broke your mind barrier. Good job. Don’t overthink it. Take what you learned from it and move forward. Train your soul with meditation. It only gets better from here on out.
Fat Panda exactly. You can hear it in his description, he’s broken through...now life is but a game..
interesting that he doesn’t immediately see it for what it is.
That's what I'm thinking while listening... Doesn't sound like he's crazy, sounds like he's more in touch spiritually now
Waiting for the psychosis part.. lol
@@d.monksworkshop1111the game of moving where you want to be?
I am very thankful for this video man, keep on keeping on
It takes a lot of strength to be vulnerable. Thank you for being that. 🙏 you give me strength, hope and inspiration there's perspective in the other side if you get off the tunnel.
Thank you so much for sharing your experience ! For being vulnerable and keep it strong!
It took an amazing amount of courage for you to share this.... About to watch the next one.
Thank you for sharing your story. It’s helped me in my recovery immensely. I’m 2 years into my recovery and still occasionally struggle with the aftershocks of my behaviour while in a drug induced psychotic state but I try to make up for it by showing up for myself and others everyday. Peace and love.
I also very much enjoyed both your videos and appreciate you sharing and stop worrying what other people think and realize you are a shaman
wow, great vid man, thanks for sharing.. so glad that you are ok now. and remember that it gets only better from now on! keep it up!
I've been through something similar bro... Was on a mission.. Ended up detained and sedated.
The revelations received still apply when sober and stable though bro.. Well wishes.
For a church?
Me too I was on a mission and ended up in the looney bin and kept tweaking for another month when I got out . Found God and the Holy Spirit though that’s always relevant
Thank you for sharing your story. It must have been so traumatic, I appreciate you being strong enough to share, people glorify psychedelics too much and don't acknowledge the potential dangers
Thank you!
Can't thank you enough. Maximum respect for describing the experience so clearly. By far, the most eye-opening video about a topic which is often mentioned but seldom discussed by any of the usual TH-cam psychonaut heavyweights. Everyone should watch it before even thinking about using pschedelics. May I also respectfully add my vote for hearing more about what happened in the hospital and afterwards.
Thank you! 🙂 It seems like there are few people interested in hearing more. I will probably post a continuation video sometime soon.
I pop
Yup
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Just want to remind you guys,that it can be not only because of substance's,after divorce with my wife,I had psychosis with deliusional idee that "God" plays with us,and etc,then I strengthening the "thing" with alcohol,it opened to me "heavens door",then I get drugs..... full-scale psychosis pushed me 3000 miles away for 3,5 years....omg
im crying man. from the feeling like christ to walking to another persons house, nearly everything you said matches my experience. i really would like to talk to you and share my experience with you because up until now i didnt think anyone would understand what i went through and how real it all felt. if you have insta or something please let me know. i commented on 2 of your other videos, i just want to reach out because our experiences are so similar, and i never thought another person would understand how i felt
It sounds like you have been through a lot. One of the goals of my videos is to help others realize that they are not alone and that there is hope for the future. I am sorry you had to go through that experience, but know that there is hope. I am glad you were able to connect with my story, I know it can be difficult thinking you are alone. Until now I have not had my Instagram account linked to my TH-cam channel, it should be displayed on my channel art. Feel free to message me on there. If you have any specific video requests let me know. I am sure some of your concerns could be something that could help someone else too.
I would love to talk to you. I visited China and had a similar delusion that I was Jesus Christ. I really want to understand more because it felt so spiritual
I saw Jesus while tripping he was taking in all sins like drugs shooting into veins but it looked like music notes or something flowing in one arm and out the other it was crazy and scary
@@Mrramennoodle2 I don't think that was Jesus...:/
@@Mrramennoodle2 that sounds beautiful
I relate a lot having my own episode recently, you inspired me to make a video and tell my own story. This made me very happy to watch.
Thank for sharing. I know it’s not easy to talk about your experience. I would like to hear more as my younger sister has had a similar experience but has not opened up to me about it. I guess it helps to know what you want through. You are really brave.
I'm glad that my story can be helpful for you. It is definitely something that most people tend to not want to share for a variety of reasons. It makes me happy to hear that you are looking to understand more so you can support your sister. That's really cool of you. I'll definitely share more of my experience. I'll probably post another video about it in one or two weeks. Thanks for letting me know how it has made a difference, I appreciate it. If you have any specific questions let me know and I can include it in the video.
Thankyou so much for sharing this ! I experienced a very similar situation this January and I’m currently trying to piece everything together and it’s so helpful to hear that I am not alone in what I am going through
I'm happy that my sharing has helped you in some way. I wish you the best in piecing your experience together. It does take time so be patient. Thanks for sharing!
Thank you so so much for sharing. I'm still healing from very recent psychosis, lasting for a very long time. and after finding your videos I was brought to tears, I'm so grateful. I'm having such a hard time differentiating what I believe in as a spiritual person and things that were not reality. Just knowing you had a semi-similar experience makes me feel like I can do this. Same to everyone else in the comments.
It definitely takes time to sort out, but it is possible! Feel free to reach out to me if you have any questions about anything. Happy to help!
I’m in the process of sorting myself .
Thank you for sharing your story. I have a very similar experience.
I have had a very similar experience. I felt as I had one foot stuck in another dimension and could not ground myself. I had profound spiritual ideas and experienced (what it seemed at the time to be) accelerated synchronicities and more cohesion with people. I let go of all fear and jumped in the ocean when it was very cold outside and it felt electric. To this day I have never felt as powerful or close to spirit as that so called episode. When it began it felt like a switch was flipped and I immediately facetimed my best friend and to tell him some universal truths that I felt were downloaded. My event also ended in my car as I was driving erratically and then stopped the car and waited for help and was then hospitalized.
Thank you dearly for your courageous and brave video. I believe this will help shed light on some of the insights between spiritual awakening and psychosis. I am grateful that I saw this video as your experience resonated deeply with mine. As a psychology student, I see spirituality overlap with some aspects of mental health quite often. I hope you continue these videos. Subscribed. ❤️
Thank you for sharing! I am glad you found my video helpful and have found meaning from your experience! I am sure your experiences will supplement what you are learning in psychology!
Thank you so much... You are not alone.. and with that, i am not alone.. Thank you brother..
Glad you can relate 🙂👍
Yes please make the follow-up, you're amazing at explaining this. Your experience is personally relevant to my life.
Thank you. I appreciate your feedback. Glad to hear it has been useful for you and that you are interested in hearing more. 🙂
@@justbeinghayden9451 I really appreciate how honest you have been - I like to learn as much as possible about bipolar, and psychotic episodes associated with psychedelic use. I think a lot of people downplay the connections between psychedelics and psychotic episodes. I'm guessing this was you last time taking DMT (it was also your first, right?)? Besides cannabis have you used other psychedlics? Hopefully you'll cover these points in a future video, so don't worry about replying. Take care!
Hi, I just stumbled upon your channel. Thank you for sharing your experience. I had an extremely similar experience happen to me in 2017. It's been 4 years now and I'm still processing it. It's been a hell of a journey
Yes psychosis is a hell of a journey for sure. Thanks for sharing 😊
I’ve also experienced psychosis and I just want to say thank you for sharing your experience. I wish you the best and it looks like you’re doing better so that’s great.
Thank you I appreciate the support. 😊 I wish you well also!
Hello just stumbled upon your channel. it's been over a year since my experience. I'm definitely still in a recovery process, that's why I am very grateful to hear your experience. it is strange how many similarities we all share. this video gives me courage so that perhaps one day I can openly share my experience too
Thank you! Glad it it has been helpful for you. 😊
Yes please share
You’re a phenomenal story teller tbh, and I’m so glad this video was recommended to me lmao
Thanks I appreciate that. Glad you enjoyed the video 🙂
Thank you, it cost to create new images. Mixing the things as u do bring more clarity. Its mutual understanding in a deep level. We are here for that, i think.
Thank you for this comment, thank you very much🙏💞💯
Dude I had the same feeling, the MISSION MAN, IT IS ALL ABOUT THE MISSION< YOUR STILL ON THAT MISSION NOW! Of course in a much more grounded way like you said about the Hawk, you are a leader my friend like me! Keep up the great work!
Thank you! I appreciate the support. I think we are all on some kind of mission in this life. All trying to help and learn in some way. Thank you for sharing.
@@AHF1993 , what you say is true about everything except being led by signs, demons do not have that kind of power. It is true that they can foretell some of the future as we have seen in stories from the Bible. When you start to be led by spirit it is through intuition we are to always question whether it draws us closer to God. But just because you think it was demons is not grounds to say that. In Genesis it even says that the times and the seasons were set in place as signs by God. Also, three Magi came from the East and knew that Jesus was going to be born. All the prophets in the Bible were led by Spirit and did everything that New Age people do, channel, prophesy, foretell, say what God says, so to say that "Christianity can do it and no one else is ridiculous." I do follow Christ and the spirit of truth but do not consider myself a Christian which is an ideology that has been heavily influenced by men which is more demonic than just the teachings of Christ.
@@AHF1993 The cave that you fear to enter holds the key to your illumination. I believe in Christ and the power of the holy spirit, I also believe Jesus when he said that you will do greater works than I.
I believe he came to lead us out of darkness and to follow in his footsteps. Christ consciousness is bringing the light into the darkness, making the unconscious conscious.
We could go back and forth for days, but the angels have helped me and lead me by signs in synchronicities in my life.
I was addicted to heroin for over 10 years and it was only with their help that I got out of it. I do believe God is using me for a higher purpose.
I have a youtube channel if you want to check it out, god bless you.
th-cam.com/channels/Mmv-MPcthcaiHFT2iTJ5LA.html?view_as=subscriber
p.s. As Paul said we must always test the spirits to see whether they are from God, and as Jesus states to blaspheme against the holy spirit is the biggest sin there is, calling what is good bad and calling what is bad good, for a good tree cannot produce bad fruit.
@@AHF1993 The gift of discerning spirits, or “distinguishing” spirits, is one of the gifts of the Holy Spirit described in 1 Corinthians 12:4-11. Like all these gifts, the gift of discerning spirits is given by the Holy Spirit, who disperses these gifts to believers for service in the body of Christ. Every believer has a spiritual enablement for a specific service, but there is no room for self-choosing. The Spirit distributes spiritual gifts according to the sovereignty of God and in accordance with His plan to edify the body of Christ. He gives His gifts “just as he determines” (1 Corinthians 12:11).
@@AHF1993 And although I believe in divine revelation, MEN WROTE THE BIBLE, and in the council of Nicea they chose, NOT GOD what books to be canonized for the KJV based on what they thought, they excluded many books that give us further understanding of angels and demons. Read the book of Enoch.
Thank you for sharing your experience
I really enjoy listening to you! 😊🦋💙
Thank you :)
Hello! Thank you so much for telling your story. It gave me a lot to think about, that I would like to share with you. In your first story you said that at the start of your trip you saw your friends “soul” this made me think you are an intuitive but you might not know it or have investigated that yet in your souls life, always be open minded when that crosses your path next time! You also said that you were resisting to a break through on your first video, maybe “source” wanted you to experience that feeling of being loved by this stranger at the end of your story, because that seems to be a very common thing that people that breakthrough report, love is all that matters! Thank you again! Sending love to you! Praying you will never experience this pain again!
Thank you. I appreciate your kind words :)
I've had three psychotic breaks and three months in a mental health unit over four years. You've helped me understand them more than the psychiatrists did. Thank you xo
Glad to hear that my story has helped you. 🙏
An ego death. Eastern medicine has the answers
Thank you. I've been experiencing similar things. But for me, I go through small periods of psychosis induced by marijuana. I could really relate to a lot of the things you were saying. But currently, I'm at a point of confusion. You see, I feel spiritually enlightened by the same thing that caused me psychosis. Like, what once made everything so confusing made it all so clear. I'm trying to make sense of it. I want to be able to have a conversation with people of similar experiences. I always tend to seek that out; having people to relate to. Even though, I'm a very very complex person, it feels comforting to know that people know somewhat what it is like. I don't know haha. I'm probably going to watch more of your videos because I'm intrigued. Thank you.
Thanks for sharing! It can take a while to make sense of and find where you land again after the fact. I am glad you are seeking out understanding and how to deal with what you have experienced. It is not easy. Wishing you the best!
I also have had times of psychosis from marijuana! I think it’s a spiritual awakening and not a form of mental illness!
@@alishaowens9333 that’s my thing psychosis can’t be mental illness
Thanks for sharing! Keep it up.
Thank you so much for sharing this. As has been said I cannot even imagine somebody dosing me with DMT without my knowledge. I have never done it but that combined with a high dose of cannabis could send anyone spinning off the rails. The vulnerability you exhibit in this video is seriously deep and I appreciate that you were so candid and descriptive about an instance where a psychedelic experience goes wrong. I wants had an experience where I smoked 40 X salvia while coming down off of acid and aside from giving me some variant of post traumatic stress disorder it put me off from doing any other sort of blast off psychedelics (DMT and it’s variance). I did not think I was coming back
Thank you, I appreciate your kind words. I'm sorry to hear you went thought that, sounds like it was scary. I hope you have found some ways to work through it.
Hey. Yeah. That experience among other things (mainly getting way into New Age spiritual beliefs and becoming very ungrounded in my worldview) contributed to some not so healthy times mentally. Happy to say that I have been working on it for years and I am definitely improving. Thank you for your reply. All the best.
You are courageous for this share dear brother.
Thanks for sharing. Had a curious moment to hear other people’s experience. Have had a very extreme (emotional as you say when I remember the fear) psychosis by accidentally eating extra strong weed cookies (4.........) when I was ALONE, no knowing I had, at a couchsurfing house, in a creepy tiny town in a shack by a lake) after hours of walking with my backpack and not much food.
In any case.
I had some crazy experiences, sensory, paranoia, etc. I ‘died’ like 4 times and came back to life (or so my Mind rationalised) I was also raped and paraplegic etc etc. both 98% sure did not happen. I had time fragment into microseconds that glitched thousands of miles an hour and couldn’t see even though my eyes were open etc. I called the police and ambulance on myself (great big fine).
I was very crazy and rude to the staff probably.
They didn’t believe it was an accident which was very traumatic for me at 23, someone who had already sworn of weed from some paranoia/out of body experiences a few years earlier at college.
It definitely changed my life forever. I was mostly ok, high tired for a few days after but ok. Probably some hectic Canada laced version who knows.
The people who had hid it in their cupboards were scared and sorry (well not really, they were pretty selfish about it because I was saying they were trying to kill me etc). Not that much compassion or help...
So long story I was ok and then got a bit anorexic and very heavily into hiking and took it to a place that when I came home, I was unemployed and after a year of just bad luck at a vital age for sure It was a kick, trying to work out what to do ‘next’. I had terrible hormone issues, was obsessed with being slimmer and dysmorphic about my looks (vanity, but also fear). A guy had rejected me a bit brutally by ignoring me (classo) and I felt like I’d felt so safe with him and felt like the bright future I’d been looking forward to was energetically a lie.
It was only then that I went downhill again and the post drug psychosis sort of stuff started to come and unravel me. It was definitely a spiritual sort of awakening but it took me a few years. Of literal hell on earth some days. Hell on earth. Nothing ever visual hallucinations. Just subtle things. Some days I probably was fine but yeah a lot of depression, crying everyday for a year, some moments of paranoia. If I hadn’t had family I don’t know what would’ve happened. Brief stint with medication but it didn’t last.
I really felt like a shell of the grounded girl I’d been. I actually looked a bit off too. I couldn’t take care of myself. That was awful.
Anyway, I’m bit perfectly good again hahaha but that’s covid for you and the earths great awakening and dark night catching up with mine and many others finally, the game we live in. The knowing we must die and make meaning somehow, all that. But beyond that I know the depth of the mind and experience in a particular lilt. Nothing to do with enlightenment which I think comes back and forward in our behaviour with veils falling and resetting. Also in meditation and mindfulness both polarities. But I know the fragmented ‘dark’ side. I know also the completely ‘out of body’. The ‘born again’ and I don’t overthink it now. Well I do you’re forever changed and nothing feels true or normal or worthwhile after these things for very long from a grounded place. But I just know many people in their own version understand parts of it. To be human. What challenges me is the sheer fear and disturbance that it created that others don’t have underneath them. I would not wish it on anyone, and for those that have bad trips but seem to come out ok - and continue (with a bit of it’s all good), wow they have never gone to hell haha.
Thanks for sharing! I think not knowing you’ve taken something is the hardest I literally thought I was going crazy, like sectioned forever, I certainly acted like it - that loss of control is like a runaway train in the mind. So proud of myself and grateful to be grounded, able to be compassionate, study again etc and have now come to, in maturity, way deeper personal insights and processing and growth I’d never have known or tried to make room for amongst the reactivity, impulsivity and confusion I had back then with less connection to the depth of ‘spirituality’ and the science of consciousness (though I had read, I’d not embodied yet). Now in late twenties and feel less alone and weird that that happened to me. X
Wow. what an experience, thank you for sharing.
Thank you for your reply. Glad to share 🙂
@@justbeinghayden9451 Respectfully, and when you're ready. I would love to hear about how you went on during your period of being hospitalised with you're hallucinations of the hawk & ect, did it go away ? is it still there ? Could be some form of spiritual guide from a different realm, maybe with a message who knows. But your story has truly got me intrigued. Grateful for you courage of sharing this, so thank you.
Awesome! Glad to hear my story is interesting for you! As far as I know most of the hawks were physical. The hawk/falcon is an animal I connect with frequently and very well could have been watching over me during my experience, along with other guides and helpers. I had some interesting dreams and experiences before this break that that suggest I had support, direction, and guidance from the other side. I plan on sharing that as well. Good to know you are interested in hearing more, I will definitely post more of my experience. 🙂
Thanks for sharing.your not alone
Imagine laying on the side of the road dying then seeing this chad drive by, clearly see you, then continue on his way... smh my head
Can’t stop to save this soul I’m on a mission to mexico!
Thank you so much for sharing. I can't imagine being given DMT without my knowledge. I just can't even begin to grasp that.
On a lighter note, we are kinda neighbors! I'm from Columbus.
Best wishes man. I'm really enjoying your channel and so appreciate your honesty and ability to be candid. One Love
Thank you for watching. Yeah, it was a ride 😋. Hey neighbor! Glad you are enjoying my channel, thanks for the support!
Thank you for sharing!
I had a spiritual psychosis from research and deep stress and I wanted FREEDOM got it then didn’t know to handle it. Been a year and half ago. I’m now debt free.. and I no longer let people use me as a bank anymore. But love them the same that’s all that matters. Been through the hardest almost 2 years of my life. My husband lost his job in December.. and just went back not long ago and finally getting a pay day in a week.. we’ve almost made it.. not to mention many other challenges deaths and the loss of my father in law at 48. And the whole family fell apart. It’s just us left now. But I made it and no longer feel like I need anyone.
I'm glad you have been able to get through all of that. Sounds like it has been a rough time. Thank you for sharing.
informal inquiry it’s been hell for 2 years straight almost. But I’m debt free after tomorrow basically and finally getting to live life again! Finally!
@@KatelynIngle awesome!
Glad it made u a better person. It’s crazy how lucky we are to be able to have these experiences. The universe chose us and im grateful
Thank you for sharing your experience with the world, it really was an eye opener to see another person’s view at having a psychosis( The first one I had mine I was also god and felt like I was here to destroy the earth, the second one was pretty messed up, I spiraled out of control because at that point I mixed spirituality with conspiracy’s and was smoking weed and watching tv a lot, fast forward 3 days I felt like I was going to die so I decided to jump out of a 6 stories building and broke my hip, after waking up in the hospital I forced myself to get my shit together and worked on that until and even after a month that I came out of the hospital.)
Now almost a year since that happend my spiritual journey still calls to me and I decided to do it the right way meaning always staying in control 🤞🏽thanks Hayden this is my first time trying to explain my experience with almost full detail. may we meet in a different lifetime
Thanks for sharing your experience. I'm sure there are a lot of people who can relate with your experience. Wish you the best in continued recovery!
Beautiful story from a beautiful person!
Thank you 🙏
Hello, i have had the exact same thing happen to me around 2012, i was also hospitalized, and i am still on meds today, all i know is nothing compares to the way u feel in that state, u feel i kind of eurphoia and iv always felt that mission part and experienced the hallucinations audio and video, such things as telepathy. Im so pissed off that i have to take these meds but it could be dangerous for me to get off them. Iv droven in my car alone at times and have done very embarassing things. Thanks for ur story man it helps me know that im not alone. I really wish there was a way to explore that state in a surveillanced method. My hallucinations were jawbending dude the coolest most entertaining things and i would have them for long periods. Im also thinking of starting a youtube channel. Peace much love
I would recemond reading the book 'My big toe' by thomas campbell, he explains all these experiences in a scientifique technical way, i read the book before having the experiences so i knew exactly what was going on when it started happening, but still wasnt enough to keep me safe. The book is available free online on google books
I found your channel maybe a year or so ago. I watched one of your first videos and remember it was so helpful. My son was taking marijuana and I was really disturbed. At that time I was going to watch all your videos but ended up getting side tracked. My sons marijuana use increased. I thought he was going to be able to quit. He experienced a lot of grief, loss, a traumatic relationship ending, job loss, the pandemic, lockdowns etc. Anyway, I learned from your first video to think on it as a journey and try to learn with him. But now he uses everyday, heavily....he became very delusional..no visual or auditory hallucinations...just bizarre thinking and unpredictable actions and getting angry/aggressive. So...I came back here to see if you had made anything about your first psychosis and first hospitalization. Yesterday, I talked with my son and we called the police. He voluntarily went to the hospital where I thought he would meet a psychiatrist who could help him get off the weed, get him meds to help any withdrawal symptoms, stabilize him and get us referrals. Turns out the police put you into a M-1 hold which I thought if you enter it voluntarily you could discharge yourself. So it's shocking, saddening, scary to know this is not the case. Now my son thinks I put him in medical prison. I was trying to get help not make him hate me :( It sounds like you actually welcomed being hospitalized. Let me watch your next video from when you went to the hospital. Right now, your sharing is really helpful. But I am heart-broken, worried but hopeful, very tired. Do you have a good relationship with your parents? I will see if they came to you while in hospital. I was told I can't discharge my son. I feel betrayed because I thought he would get help at the hospital but instead they are moving him to a facility and he can't discharge himself, nor can I. I am really confused over how to get help or what to do. I don't want him to go somewhere where he will get hurt or mistreated. I also don't want them to dope him up on worse meds that have horrible side effects or get misdiagnosed. He smokes weed, is depressed, stressed. The weed over time made him have bad delusions..that and the state of the world is causing anxiety, that and we are poor which is stressful. If I was rich he could go to a luxury rehab where he can ride horses...if you are on medicaid..not sure, sighs. Anyway, Hayden, again...really, thank you for being here. Thank you for surviving your psychosis and then making this TH-cam and sharing your experiences. It helps. I wonder how are your parents and do you have a good relationship with them? I wonder if any of your followers who had to go to the hospital or a loved one called police to get help if they hate their parents or were able to heal and forgive them. Let me go watch your next video.
Thanks for sharing and sorry it took me a while to reply. I am sorry to hear about your son's situation, that sounds very stressful and not helpful. Unfortunately, we, as a society, are still not great at handling situations like these. There is still a lot of stigma and mistreatment of people who go into these states. To answer your questions, I was admitted to the hospital the first time because I was so psychotic that I was considered a threat to society, so I needed to be placed in a hospital. I did accept treatment over time and was open to help relatively quickly. I still have a great relationship with my parents, I am very grateful for everything they have done for me, even though I was mad at them the second time they put me in the hospital. I now understand why they did it. I'm sorry you are in the situation you are in and my heart goes out to you, it is not easy. I hope that he will be released from the facility and be able to recover well. Like I said it's not an easy process, but just take it day by day and focus on the things that you can control. Wishing you all the best.
@@justbeinghayden9451 You will make a great counselor, in my opinion. Even your reply was helpful to me. Update. My son was released one week later. I've learned a lot more since writing. Yes...I have to always remember to focus on the positive, stay in the moment and not think about the future things that might happen but also might not. I found a group called NAMI that gives support to parents and to people who are dealing with mental health and addiction issues. I will tell the people I meet about your channel because I think it can be helpful to them. There is a new word I found out called anosognosia, it means he is perceiving the world in ways everyone else is not, doesn't think he needs help but because of his perception being different, he puts himself or others at risk or doesn't take care of himself. So there is a famous psychologist whose son and brother have schizophrenia and he developed a way to communicate with people with anosognosia called LEAP. He has a book that is helpful. It is called, "I'm Not Sick. I Don't Need Help." And, another book that might be helpful is Diane Borders' " Keep My Son: A Mother's Unprecedented Battle and Victory Over Her Son's Mental Illness." I think the system is a little better, the police now are trained or have a mental health person come if they are called. But, beds are scarce and people trying to help are understaffed, undertrained, underpayed and often burned out. If you are poor or run out of insurance, or your family gives up...some people become homeless or end up in jail. That is what is scary to me. But your reminded to take it day by day and focus on what I can do ...it's helpful Hayden. I do believe everything is for some reason or can be a positive. Again, thanks for taking your experience and using it for the good of others. Best wishes in your future counseling endevours!
@@kewlenjo219 Thank you for the update. I am glad you are reaching out and getting the support and information you need. It is really nice to see someone taking initiative like you. I would be really interested in reading those books, thank you for the recommendation. I agree it is getting better for sure, but definitely have a long way to go. Wishing you both the best! Feel free to reach out if you need anything. Glad I was helpful in some way for you.
Your not alone. I had much the same experience being godlike, driving, metaphors. Saving the world. I wound up in the hospital. I consider it a great learning experience. It opens a door from normal boring life. Im back to normal but still keep the lessons and intuition I gained. Thanks for sharing this...
Thanks for sharing. Glad you could relate! Sometimes it's nice to know we're not alone. Glad you were able to take the positives from it and move forward. Wishing you the best moving forward! Godspeed 😋😊
Do you take meds ?
@@thc7865 yes I still take a little bit of risperdone. .5mg
@@thc7865 I took meds to bring me back from what doctors called psychosis. After a year and a half I went on my own back to normal with no medication but with a new outlook on life. I believe anyone can get off psycosis meds if they learn not to take life so seriously and dont let thier mind go too far out of normal boundaries...relax and let go with meditation
Also Too much THC can cause psychosis if you smoke weed so I would stay away from weed
argile5 i have pshychosis too but i dont want to take risperidone for life are you back to normal or do symptoms come back if you stop medication? Thats for sure im not going near drugs in my life the only thing i want is to stop the medication
Had psychosis, gouged my right eye out, diagnosed with schizophrenia. I’m good now and I like my life.
Stay OFF the street drugs fam, stay ON the prescribed drugs listen to the voices of reason close to you (family, people you depend on), go to a psychosis intervention mental health center, realize that there is a difference between what you think is true, and what is proved to be true through evidence(grounding), religion/spirituality is ART-not FACT.
Can’t think of anything else but ye that’s how I got to my stable place.
Thank you for sharing!
How do they know if what you have is schizophrenia and you used drugs because of it or that you used drugs and it caused schizophrenic type hallucinations or delusions that when you are off drugs and neurotransmitters working again will go away?
Thanks for sharing this
@@kewlenjo219 I'm not sure, i think its because the symptoms remained like 3 months into sobriety. My doctor also said something like "many people do these drugs and don't develop schizophrenia symptoms"
I love the background, is it fabric or painting? If fabric where did you get ? Thanks for Sharing your story 👍😉😊
Its a fabric I found it on amazon under mandala tapestries. Thanks for watching!
A lot of respect for sharing this. 🙏If we would be in a society where psychedelics are completely accepted and not deemed, then we wouldn't be that focussed on our fear of psychosis and maybe we could integrate such intense aftereffects more effectively, without the fear of not fitting into society anymore.
No, don't fear it, let yourself go. Don't be afraid💞💯
I really think everyone should just do dmt once in their life 😂
Hello Hayden. I just saw my first video of you today. Thanks for sharing your story. I'm trying to learn as much as possible about 'spiritual awakening / emergence / emergency. I'm particularly interested in your affinity for Hanuman as I too have had an on again off again relationship with the monkey god. For now I will check out some more of your videos. Very brave of you to put yourself out there sir, thank you.
Thanks for sharing. If you have any questions feel free to reach out on Instagram or via email. Both are in my video descriptions.
Dude my psychosis story is really similar to yours. Sending Love to you bro 🫂
Thank you for sharing.
i know the feeling feeling brother . i had a similar experience but it only lasted 20 minuets . the aftermath was alittle difference . i knew i couldnt act on my feelings cause no one would understand .and i spent the next year putting it all back into the box . its all god so i dont need to feel special . thx for posting . be well .
Thank you for sharing your experience! 🙂
thank you very much.... for sharing...
Thank you for watching 🙏
Thanks for sharing. This really needs to be acknowledged and talked about more. The same thing happened to my brother. He was not himself and had a messiah complex, he believed he was the chosen one and that he had to die to save the world. He was either in a drug psychosis or Kundalini awakening? (He did both). He was scared of the government and everyone. He thought his friends and family were dead/clones/satan. He got admitted to Hospital, they did nothing and kicked him out 6 days later while he was still in a psychosis. 7 days after getting out of hospital he died 😭 he died on the same day Jesus died. He planned and timed it with a clock.
I'm so sorry to hear this. Thank you for sharing. Sending you and your family positive vibes.
Small world I went to Newark for a year in 2016 before I transferred to main campus. Thanks for sharing keep it up👍
That's cool! Thanks 😊
I been going through this since December 2020 so about 6 months. I think it lasted that long since I kept smoking but I’m done for sure now. At first I was confused and scared but now I’m aware and grateful‼️It changed me and made me a WAY better person. Now I’m comfortable being uncomfortable and before this happened I feel like I didn’t have a purpose but now I do. I’m gonna stop smoking now tho and see if my psychosis go away I’m just grateful for the change. I went from anxious and low self esteem to not giving a fuck and a LOT of confidence😂
Glad you found the positives out of your experience. Thank you for sharing 🙂
How long did it take for the psychosis to go away.. after smoking?
Thank you friend I am not as brave as you are 💪🏾💪🏾💪🏾
Thx for sharing
I feel like the main problem is that we live in a culture that doesn't understand spiritual matters truly, so it's very hard for society to help an individual going through something like this. I really like the saying "The psychotic downs in the same waters as the mystic swims". If society had a proper "toolkit" to assist people going through this kind of a thing it could possibly even be looked at as simply a part of the process. Unfortunately, people in this situation are left to wander around receiving little to no true understanding which further alienates them and drives them deeper into delusion, being called "crazy" and so on... anyway, enjoyed your story. Hope you are well, blessings. ❤
And YES haha, you ARE Christ... but so is everybody else, and it doesn't mean you can break the laws of physics. 😂
I just sense a grain of truth in what you were experiencing, and it easy to discount that just because it was wrapped in a cloud of delusion.
You AMAzing brother
Thank you, I appreciate the support.
Hi, do you know kechari mudra? It produces dmt too i believe
ecstasy. I took a pill and was chilling w/ friends when I noticed some "weird" behavior (probably just high) from my friend and my ex who are "cousins". My brain was telling me "they are fucking behind your back" they were giggling and playing and it jus felt a lil too intimate and then I looked around the room and for some reason it felt like me and everybody else were peeping the same things. I also started to think about past situations between them two and it started to make "sense" That made me think I was a "God" because I was able to see "through" stuff. We had music playing and it seemed like the music had started talking to me personally exposing my friend and ex... BUT BEFORE THAT HAPPENED... I got an odd feeling in my stomach and I had to go outside take a walk play some music and then come back in the house then thats when everything happened. After that I couldn't sleep, eat or anything. All I did was listen to music in my room and create music for dayssss straight. It seemed like the music had a direct connection with my life. I believe in god and have a relationship with god and I felt like he had answered my prayers and saved me. I started praying and thanking god soooo sooo much like more than normal. I also was very delusional lol ... I felt like rappers were trying to guide me in to make it. Like through instagram post and tweets they made to me it seemed like they were talking me through the shit. I also got heavily into angel numbers. It seemed like every single thing I seen or heard I could tie it back to what I was going through some how someway.
Thanks for sharing your experience. I can relate with a lot of what you talk about. Hope you are doing better now!
everything is connected
SYNCRONICITIES the same thing happened to me!!! Ur intuitive
@@Vanessa-xq2zt but what even is intuition??? gotta have thoughts and emotions independently of eachother before "going over"
I have felt the messages, the dis ease, the messages in music, sooo sooo sooo deep feeling with God, the extreme guided feelings. Thank you for sharing.
I went through a very bad psychosis after a bad salvia hit. Lasted about 2 weeks.i became obsessed with electricity pylons,believing I was on track to discover the ultimate truth watever that means I didnt wash hardly ate, on way day I walked about 25 miles just locating pylons and becoming more and more terrified. A lot more went on in those 2 weeks,far more than I can fit in a yt comment. But a fascinating but terrifying time.
I can definitely relate with that. Thank you for sharing 🙏😊
Everything in moderation, except for moderation.
Thank you for sharing your experience with psychosis
Been many years now but I also had a very long bout with psychosis. Mine lasted for about two years where there were impossible things happening around me every day multiple times a day. It's no fun at all but I'm guessing it was necessary.
Thank you for sharing. That sounds challenging. I hope you are doing better now!
Hi! I have a question. Were you diagnosed with bipolar disorder after you went to the hospital as a result of the DMT? In other words did the medical staff I think that the psychosis you had from the DMT was actually bipolar disorder?
Wasn't diagnosed bipolar from my first experience. They diagnosed it as a Drug-Induced Psychosis. During my second visit they decided I had bipolar disorder. But that too was a drug-induced psychosis from Cannabis and another intense experience.
@@justbeinghayden9451 continuous imbalance of dopamine system due to drugs can induce bipolar 1 or schizophrenia.
This is very interesting. Do you still struggle with mental health? And do you believe the drug set off something that was dormant but would have showed up sooner or later (such as a bipolar event) ? Just wow.. scary stuff. Thanks for sharing.. it is brave of you.
First of all, thank you for your comment, I appreciate it. I do still struggle with mental health. I had another psychotic break that was not quite as intense as this one on Jaunary 2018. I have also struggled with anxiety and depression for a long time, but recently I have been feeling more happy and at peace with myself. I think that the drugs triggered the experience, but its something that most likely would have happened regardless, but not to the intensity of the one I speak of here. But it's hard to know exactly.
It's a privilege to have those experiences. Hell if it hadn't for you, how could you have made this clip about it. You explained it so well! The face that the journey is always different. But to get" fear is an illusion "
Out of it. And to decompress from that... what a ride in the trip huh? The hawks though! Mines the blue birds
Thank you for sharing your story.
I myself recently went through a spiritual awakening and am still processing what actually happened.
What happened to me was that I thought that I was going to die and that the devil was going to take me to hell, and that God was trying to save me and take me to heaven. So my mission was to not die but to stay alive as long as possible and not die. Which was quite difficult because I hadn’t slept nor eaten for days. I also thought that after I had died would the devil take everyone I loved to hell so I went around telling the people I loved that the devil is after them but they shouldn’t be afraid because I’ll save them. They Got sceard and called the hospital. When I got to the hospital did they wanted to give me sleeping pills since I had little to no sleep for a week but I didn’t wanted to take the sleeping pill because I thought I was going to die once I took it, so they forced me to take it instead. The medicine they gave me, gave me an allergic reaction and I thought I was going to die at a point but when the doctor said I’ll live did I felt relieved and didn’t care about the fact that I was in pain.
I’m still hurt that my family took me to the hospital when I was trying to save them, and that my friends weren’t thankful over the fact that I “ saved “ them. I’m also hurt over the fact that everything that happened was according to the doctors a delusion and that the devil wasn’t after me which means that I suffered in vain.
I’m still on medication which helps me to not think too much of what happened, I have lots of guilt and regret and am trying to recover from this traumatic event 🙁❤️🩹
Thank you for sharing your story! I am sure many people here can relate to your experience. Know that you are not alone, and it is possible to recover from this. I admire your courage and resiliency. It can be a difficult journey, so ask for help when needed. 🙏❤
I hope your ok now. I just went through something similar.
Doing well now thank you 🙏
i haven’t watched this video yet but it’s so refreshing to see a video on this, i recently was looking into psychosis because i’ve been feeling disconnected from reality and i stumbled across it. when i looked into the symptoms it confused me that it’s a mental disorder, because what if those “hallucinations” and “delusions” are genuinely real, what if psychosis happens to individuals who are actually seeing and feeling and experiencing things that most aren’t? it just feels strange to me, some of the symptoms are things that i’ve heard people who are psychic experience and people who’ve gone undergone spiritual awakenings have experienced. i feel like it’s possible that this mental disorder is actually people coming to realizations, not to “delusional” conclusions.
It's a fine line and there is usually a mix of both. It's up to the person experiencing to figure out what has validity and what doesn't.
My eyes were dilated also throughout my psychosis and I felt very authoritative as well and my parents were as well scared of me yes all of this happened to me as well in 2020 I felt like I had a deep purpose from God and I even saw UFOs and visions and very spiritual real experiences that now anyone would say was crazy even though it really felt real to me for example I closed my eyes once and I saw a blue dragon roaring for help and I could not stop crying and thinking something terrible was wrong in the spiritual realm
How old were you when you went through this? I read that mental illnesses surface around adolescence (18-25) in males and I went through psychosis/mania from LSD at 22 and was at a ward for 3 months but thankfully I’m better now and I weaned off the medication.
My first psychosis was when I was 18, my second was when I was 24 I think.
@@justbeinghayden9451 interesting. I’d love to hear your experiences in the mental hospital.
@@YoshiMashups I have a video about one of my hospital stays. It should be under my popular videos.
That tapestry is the skitz!
Wow so many genuine people. But be careful, don’t trust anyone. But know the one lives in you.
You say don't trust anyone. I'd like to know more about that. I've experienced "psychosis" multiple times, and there's always people that seems extremely off with bad intentions when I'm in the middle of it. But every time I come out of it, I always feel like "am I crazy for thinking that about people"
@@matthewhenry6515 from my experience no one is to be trusted because I have had bad experiences with people. It’s hard to explain, but if you know, you know. Karma is a factor in why people pretend to be nice. It’s not human face that acts, it’s the face behind the mask that acts, like a chess game making sure it doesn’t make a wrong move. Again, it’s hard to explain, take to heart what I say. All you need is in you not outside of you.
Ok so I smoked weed for the first time last night with 3 friends and I ended up smoking way to much for my first time and I ended up flying trough time crying and screaming when I fell asleep on my bed, I was screaming in my sleep for 15 minutes my fiends said they couldn’t wake me up. I was thinking I was going to be here for the rest of my life and forever so I was terrified. I then realized I could lean up and get out of my bed, from a third person view I got out of my bed like I’m blooming from a flower, once I got up I looked like I was in a video game for the first few minutes it felt like, I could barley walk or talk to my friends, I was like this it felt like forever, I eventually ended up falling asleep again and I still feel weird for some reason. Any help?
I can't tell you what to do, but cannabis does stay in your system for a while after you smoke so you may be feeling the afterglow effect. Afterglow fades away after a day or two usually. Sounds like an intense first experience. If you notice that your behavior starts to change or you start having delusional thoughts then I would reach out for help, but more than likely your just still a little high. Hope that helps. Remember I'm not a qualified doctor or anything so if you don't feel safe reach out to one of them.
informal inquiry will do
Drug induced Psychosis is wild did you experience this afterwards and if you have mental health problems you need a babysitter if your going to actually go all out and do any psychedelics ... this is was really overwhelming and kinda depressing and I wish you the best and hope you are past this
I am doing well now and yes I did experience this after DMT.
As someone who has a lot of bipolar experience with psychosis, I can attest to drugs that are naturally inside a body of a bipolar person, as being as real and effective as street or pharmacological drugs
Holy shirt I just bought that exact same mandala tapestry 😮
Haha that's funny 😆
In 86 I was a back seat passenger m.v.a I saw what religions call my guardian angels 3 times same road before a taxi hit us in a intersection a traffic light pole that I didn't see hit me as it cut into the car. I thought the car straightened and we kept going I didn't lose consciousness. A brown space then I was flying over a ocean I saw a hole in the sunless sky I acknowledged it then took off through it. I found myself in the afterlife those people I saw before impact stepped from suspended balls of light. They said I know them its not my time I must get back. I didn't know anything about them so I left them. Cut a long story short for about 7 years after the accident words like time and get would trigger a delayed regression. It's hard to describe reliving a car accident that's just dropped on your head out of nowhere. Cut another long story short I ended up helping the psychiatrist. At the time I was a labourer and I worked with world war 2 veterans they knew I had ptsd as soon as look at me they knew nobody was immune .
Has anyone experienced having double meaning to things? My brain also started assigning meanings to numbers. I often see sequences of particular numbers.
Thanks for sharing. What do you mean by double meaning?
you probably scared them so much when you gave them those gifts. I can only imagine what they were thinking
Yes they were definitely afraid for sure.
Too similar appreciate this years later still helping people🫡🙏🏼
Entheogens were used for a long time now to induce a spiritual experience (experience of other realities). They should be taken in a controlled setting so please don't drive under the influence if you really care about other lives.
So I'm being tapered off my antipsychotic right now. I had cannabis induced psychosis last year and I've been on these meds for 14 months. I'm on paliparidone 1.5mg which is the lowest dose. I remember in one of your videos you mention getting off of meds from your first psychosis. What was the process? My psychiatrist has me taking one of my pills every other day. Then after I take my med 5x doing this I go to every 5 days for 5x then stop completely. Is this too fast? I know you're not a doctor but I'm just curious as to your process when you were tapered off.
I don't know if that is too fast since I am not a doctor. But I basically cut the dose into 3/4 or 1/2 the previous dose and would go in one month increments at that stage and if things went well I would go down another amount after that month. I am going to make a video about reducing the dose of medication as it is a heavily requested topic. Hope it goes well for you 😊
I'm 2 months weened off my meds. My psychosis happened jan 23 2022 (123 2022) at the time I was calling it my spirtual awakening. I was hospitalized march 2 2022. Spent three weeks in the hospital (I had escaped the hospital at one point but was only gone for a night) I took my last pill dec 9th 2022. I was 120lbs since highschool then the pills made me gain 50 lbs I'm now 175. Mine was cannabis concentrate induced. I still smoke a tiny bit of cannabis at night but nothing like before. It was definetly an expierence I was communicating with aliens and Angel's. Thought I was telepathic at one point. So many things happened in the time. I love my expierence but also became really depressed when it went away. The euphoria you expierence is other worldly it took time to adjust and feel better. Have you weened off your meds now? How are you feeling?
@@brittanybellinger I haven't been able to ween off yet. None of the medical professionals know how to ween me off so I'm still stuck taking my meds. At first I was put on anti-psychotics. Had a bad reaction after 2 months so they put me on schizophrenic meds called Paliperidone. I'm on the lowest dosage now at 1.5mg. It's advised to not break the pills in half because of side effects. I tried once and it sucked.
The thing is, I don't know if I really need these meds. I may very well be psychotic/schizophrenic now after my psychosis which was extremely severe. I stopped taking the meds a couple of times and I didn't feel right. But that could be withdrawls from the meds.
Problem is no one here knows how to taper me off.
You're lucky in that you were able to be taken off your meds.
As far as the actual psychosis, I've heavily studied it and there is a lot of false information out there. I too developed psychosis from cannabis. It's not a spiritual awakening. Your third eye didn't open up. It was psychosis.
When it happened, I didn't seek help for 2 months. It was getting worse and worse. It was so that I've only had one relapse since it happened (3 months after developing it) and made a promise to God that I would never smoke weed again. It was so traumatic that I refuse to drink as well. I've been 100% sober since June of 2020.
I'm not trying to tell you what to do but I highly advise you to not smoke anymore, even a little at bedtime. All of my research has shown that if you've had psychosis and go back to smoking after your recovery, it WILL return and with full force. There are many documented cases of this happening. And in quite a few cases the people who started drugs again developed symptoms that are now permanent.
A couple of cases, these people are on 3 different meds (anti-psychotics and schizophrenic meds) at the highest dosage each and it still doesn't help them.
As for me, next month will be 3 years since all this began. I'm definitely better than I was when I was accute with psychosis but I still suffer from a few symptoms. I'm not the same as I was before all this happened.
You mentioned having depression during your recovery. This is a very common and known thing to happen I'm psychosis recovery. For the first year and a half I found zero joy in anything including things I once loved. Thankfully some of my interests came back. For example during my recovery I couldn't listen to music because it made me feel uncomfortable (also a known thing to happen in recovery). But now I use music to cope and I use it to stay sober.
Sorry for the long post. I'm glad that you feel better and are off your meds. I advise to not smoke weed anymore, even a little. It's not worth it.
Honestly if you want to have spiritual experiences and actually see if you have certain capabilities. Meditate daily and see where that takes you. Psychadelic substances are very intense and need someone to guide you when you're on them.
Thank you for sharing! I agree that they are powerful and need to be used responsibly. I also think that a lot of what psychedelics connect us with is the beauty of the simplicity of the moment, the power within ourselves, our smallness in comparison to the whole picture, and our connection to everything. Those are things that can be appreciated and learned without the use of psychedelics from practices like mindfulness, gratitude, studying the world we live in and just life experiences in general. Meditation is definitely a great tool to learn the lessons, and understand ourselves and the world better.
Doesn’t life feel so dull after psychosis
Yeah it's hard from going from feeling so much euphoria and connection. To not feeling it anymore.
I have had unseen beings do things in physical reality even though i was not psychotic and on meds. So it's still all going on!
I have the opposite. I feel like the old me died. And I'm thankful. He was a neglectful soul.. I dont have anxiety anymore, or fear really.. I had to fight, angrily, all my fears to calm my psychosis, without meds, so now... what else can scare me?? My mind ran out of ideas.
You need to get angry, and assume your rightful role as Master of this form.
Because you are. You've always been.
I was obsessed with hawks during mine too lol
I want to ask something to all of you guys reading this comment: If u had a spiritual psychosis was it indused by some kind of drug or it was because of obessions and intense studying of the spiritual world? Basically im asking if it occured because of substances or not.
I would say for me it's both. Obsession over spirituality is usually a sign of me slipping toward an altered state and is usually fueled by an unconscious or unrecognized desire to escape some kind of overwhelming stress. Substance use is a way to further avoid stress while potentially exacerbating the direction toward the beginning of something like psychosis.
How well did you knew about dmt before you took it there?
I had done a lot of research about psychedelics before this happened, but I had never experienced a trip before. It happened so quickly and put me in a state of awe that I hadn't really realized what had happened. Once you are in that state there is not much room to get your bearings.
@@justbeinghayden9451 I think really knowing about dmt is the most important thing before you take it, this is probably the reason why you had this psychotic breakdown, the fear of the ego to die was too strong maybe taking it with the right knowledge about it will help you to get away from it.
I recently told my mom that I think the only reason Peter was able to walk on water was because he was astral projecting. His souls was really walking on water and everyone else who saw this on the boat with Peter was enlightened or having that awakening. But I see why you attempted to walk on water.
I thought that my friends were killing each other downstairs with knives. I was hearing voices and screaming. Scary as fuck.
That does sound scary! Thanks for sharing!
When people talk about psychosis like this... Are they really seeing things that aren't there or things that are ? Are they seeing different realms within our current world?
They are things that they can see but that other people cannot. It could be that they are seeing things from a different realm, or it could be a projection of their own subconscious mind. There is still a lot to be understood about these states.
I find that I cant talk about my psychosis without it building back up. I feel like throwing up typing this even know.. theres like some dark stress that my body is telling me to block to stay healthy.
Its strange, but I think this is my bodies defense to not delve into depression anymore, or any type of stress. Anger is the tool I used to scare my psychosis into being quelled, once I had, I let the anger go.. it is a tool, that seems absent for most psychotic episodes. You have to grab that axe.. use it.. then put it away.
It seems I must be happy to survive lol. Which I'll take if that's the case.
Psychosis can be healed by God. I had psychosis too from this spiritual nonsense and trying to find the 'truth', little did I know the truth was GOD and his love for us. If your searching for the truth, pray to God and you will find the truth.
I love you bro, stay safe and remember to pray to God. He's a healer❤️
Whether it's dreams or prey, what is chased will run away...
...weather cultural, intellectual, spiritual, social, or by any other means, there's Harmony in the synchronicities of nature that maybe reached at any time just through the memory of the imagination of ones own existence.
People don't often remember this, but Bob Ross was in the military before he became a renowned artist, and in his time in the service in the US, he became so appalled by the anger implemented to train soldiers that he swore off of anger thoroughly as an emotion
most of what you are saying doesn't sound like a psychotic break at all. You probably did have a spiritual experience, but was unable to integrate it. The parts of it which sounds like a psychotic break, just seems like you were unable to integrate the experience - if you had done it under better circumstances i am sure you could have gained a lot from it.. But becoming enlightened from one day to another, is bound to cause some psychosis as well - since it takes time to understand and work with those sort of things. The psychotic drowns in the waters where the mystic swims
My first intense breakthrough defininately jarred me and mad me a bit odd after. I could no longer participate in this simulation without questioning everything.
@@curious_gage well did you ever question that the "simulation" might be ill described as a simulation? Maybe the simulation is so different from our current perception of it that to describe it as a simulation at all is to fail at a description in the first place
@@curious_gage unfalsifiability is a gift and a curse.
@@curious_gage @Gage Smith if you don't question your questions, you'll never reach a conclusion.
Keep your mind open, but not so much as to allow your brain to fall out of your skull.
❤