for me, i'm afraid to even try talking usually, because i've had so many experiences of really trying to contribute and what comes out of my mouth is one of those INFJ observations that to me feels relevant to the conversation, but to everyone else is a total non-sequitur, and they're just like, ummm, okay, yeah... so anyway, back to what we were talking about. and then i fade away.
I didn't notice until she mentioned how even when we're conversating you're also paying attention to the social mood as well as individual interactions elsewhere like its so natural to me I thought everyone else does it that's y i was and still am, to some degree, very self conscious in social situations
Oh my goodness, Christine, I had always thought this was just a "Danny thing," and I could never fully articulate the experience to myself or others. It's nice to know I'm not alone, and your insights are once again on point.
omg i love your energy in this video! you're so cute and funny. also, i can totally relate to 100% of everything you're saying! to a certain extent I really like being 'ignored' in during those social events because i don't like to socialise that much. most people LOVE to do small talks i find small talks so draining! i'd rather just stick to myself in one corner (so that people don't think i'n antisocial because i avoid going to such events) and observe the crowd. come to think of it, INFJ's really are very contradictory creatures HAHAHA. i love to talk to people (and find out their deep dark secrets and why they are the way they are) but i don't like being around them too long. i don't like feeling alone at the end of the day, but i don't like socialising because most people don't socialise the way i do.
Haha ah I totally get you, girl! Thanks for the super kind words - your comments have really encouraged me so thanks for taking the time to share. ❤😊 HAHA lol I love corners too 😂 Yeah, that's so true about INFJs being so contradictory. In fact you gave me an idea for a new video! "INFJ Personality Contradictions"! Maybe I'll do that....Thanks Maira! I appreciate your support! ❤ Have a wonderful Sunday!
@@christinelise wah that's fast! okay, I'll be waiting! are you open to making videos about your own personal experience being an INFJ? Maybe you can do that too if you're up for it. I think it will really help other INFJ like me feel less alone. 😊
I love your voice and way of speaking and I agree with what you're saying. Thanks for making this video. You also have such a cute and quirky INFJ vibe.
I was reminded of it today. I felt annoyed at first but then I just became silent whenever it would happen. It's not my job to yell if I'm not being heard.
Lol - apparently I have this habit of, if I'm ready to say something, I inhale, but then if someone else starts talking I just exhale again. My friends are observant and now make sure to circle back to me if they see me inhaling :)
Couldn't relate more! I actually love and rely on my ability to become invisible in social settings. Sometimes, I want to go into the kitchen to grab water when my boyfriend is hosting a party--I have complete confidence that I can get in and out without anyone trying to chat me up. Sometimes, it feels like I put on an energetic invisibility coat. It comes in handy when I'm socially drained and just not in the mood to engage. It can be kinda sad when I'm in the mood to socialize lol
Now I know why I am in line somewhere and they wait on everybody else, as if I was invisible, lol. I love your videos, thank you! I am understanding myself better and realizing I am not alone.
You have no idea how much I appreciate this video. I had always wondered what was wrong with me to end up fading in social situations. I always feltI didn't like me the way I was, but I think I like the way I am, I just didn't understand why no one seemed to like me. Your video has opened my eyes to those reasons and has motivated me to start accepting and liking myself as I am. So Thanks very much
Yeah, I noticed it too. First I watched his videos too, but then I stopped when I realized he’s not an INFJ. Nothing wrong with that, ofcourse, but there are better people then to listen to to learn more about our personality type.
I always got ignored and that led me to depression, a couple of years ago. And my depression just kept on coming back. Like, the moment I was writing this comment, I had just experienced the attacks. And I didn't know if anybody felt it. I needed someone who would instantly feel how I feel without being told.
There is the benign version, which you describe perfectly, then there is this other one…sometimes people will project their judgments of themselves, onto us. It’s unfair and unrealistic to assume anyone thinks about another person as much as people seem to think we do, at times. People can treat INFJs as if we are the embodiment of their own conscience. It’s obtuse and irrational. It’s also quite painful. (P.S. an enfp can be amused for hours by their own shadow - I mean this as a compliment)
Lmao, you said we are not "beastly". That's one thing that has kind of annoyed me personally, that I do look like a damn gym rat whether I go to the gym a lot or not. Sure as a guy I sure have gone to the gym a lot at times but then I start talking about all this stuff about personalities and random other crap and I doubt anyone understands how to deal with me. It's a strange existence sometimes.
In the modern arena most people are putting on a facade......and we can read their true being, I've seen people retract when they realize I've got their number.... I prefer one on one or group of three.
I do fade, but I figured I came up with a self critical explanation. I feel like eveyrone knows I'm there, they just dont' want to know me--which is the self critical explanation.
I've thought that before too. And yet, I think we're intimidating in a good way sometimes because I've found that people are often afraid of depth. And INFJs are very deep.
I observed very closely what it is that really makes me as an INFJ fade in a group setting. And it's always the same thing actually: It's just as simple as it sounds, not knowing what to say. Lacking a story, lacking knowledge on the topic. It seems to actually be from weak Si, bad memory. I never remember any facts, stories about anything literally. So while others are talking, I'm standing there with this great energy, with all the energy and intent in the world to say something, and like ummm.. uhh... gimme a moment, I'll think of what to say.. um.. Not social anxiety, just not being able to think of anything due to no information on it. Could be weak Ne also. A combination of weak Si (no memories) + weak Ne (no ability to recall and connect even the things that I do know). * Thought my self over the years to be way more disagreeable then I natrually was, even to the point of being more disagreeable then others often. And no, it didn't help. Cus the whole "harmony" thing wasn't the true reason for the fading in the first place. It genuinely is just my brain of not being able to think of content to say. -So in my opinion it's kind of cope saying INFJ's just avoid talking but could if they wanted... nah, the truth is they are not capable to talk good even if they wanted and tried.
I've realised this recently too. I am hoping that picking up reading a lot will help. I used to read/ write a lot in school, It have me talking points. I prefer bonding over doing things/ activity rather than talking though
@@calmingbabysleep1256 I can write very well though. The whole thing is in time. I think we INFj's think way more slowly then others, especially extraverts, who's brain can come up with a lot of quantity fast. So in real life we are too slow to keep up. We go slow and deep, and Ni discards any information that is not crucial. So we have no funny stories or barely retain any random knowledge.
@@calmingbabysleep1256 For talking better? Te and Ne training. Talking is really the use of those 2 functions. + Drawing from Si. So train Ne by doing the free word association exercise. Train Te by taking a single topic, and talking about it for 3-5 min. Repeat. For Si and memories.. I did use mnemonics and tricks for remembering, but still nothing that truly helped in a functional way. * Just know improvement would not be big. Just as if someone who doesn't have talent, even if he trains can get only so far.
Very very true, I analyse the room at the different stories going on (it kinda feels like a film), but then that singles me out from the crowd (just realised now) 🙃 And youre right, when you feel invisible you wonder why you came to the party and did you waste your time? 🤔 Whew, thats why Im shifty going to parties now. Sorry youve felt unnoticed 😔 and it looks like other INFJs seem better at solving that "rubiks cube", because theyre one of us. Whenever I have a conversation, I choose a subject which you can swim further deep into, but not many want that. And conversations you get so stuck into it evolves from one topic to the next, and you dont even realise it 😂 I dont know if you like the deep meaningful conversations where you can think on a wide level. Do you do discussions? Id love to share ideas and thought processes 😊
I can relate to so many of those thoughts! Yes totally agree - other INFJs are often the other people that can unlock us best! I haven't done discussions but that's a cool idea. Maybe I'll do a live stream sometime. 😀
@@christinelise looks like we have very similar thoughts 😊 yeah very true, Im trying to find more INFJs in life 😂 I saw your discussions tab empty and wondered if youd be up for one? Ooo live will be better! 😀
I tend to get verycannoyed and end up being very blunt about what I think then regret it later. Only because for sine reason orher people can get away with it, but not me.😢
I once had an ENFP friend who was a human magnet and constantly had awkward social gatherings featuring the motley crew of homo sapiens he would round up over the course of a year. Lots of social anxiety for all. I did, however, discover my INFJ gift of gab...good times 😃
I’m Isfp and do this “INFJ fade” lol. Ig we isfps are less analytical and just straight up chillin when we do this. Dunno infjs irl but I wanna be friends with one I love y’all but I’m also really scared to talk lol
Thanks for sharing. It is nice to know that there are others who struggle with similar situations. I appreciate your sign off.
Aw thanks I appreciate that!
for me, i'm afraid to even try talking usually, because i've had so many experiences of really trying to contribute and what comes out of my mouth is one of those INFJ observations that to me feels relevant to the conversation, but to everyone else is a total non-sequitur, and they're just like, ummm, okay, yeah... so anyway, back to what we were talking about. and then i fade away.
I guess I general groups don't notice our presence but certainly regret our absence,
Yes! Great way to put it.
I didn't notice until she mentioned how even when we're conversating you're also paying attention to the social mood as well as individual interactions elsewhere like its so natural to me I thought everyone else does it that's y i was and still am, to some degree, very self conscious in social situations
Oh my goodness, Christine, I had always thought this was just a "Danny thing," and I could never fully articulate the experience to myself or others. It's nice to know I'm not alone, and your insights are once again on point.
Ahh you're definitely not alone! So glad you can relate - it happens to all of us!! :)
omg i love your energy in this video! you're so cute and funny. also, i can totally relate to 100% of everything you're saying! to a certain extent I really like being 'ignored' in during those social events because i don't like to socialise that much. most people LOVE to do small talks i find small talks so draining! i'd rather just stick to myself in one corner (so that people don't think i'n antisocial because i avoid going to such events) and observe the crowd. come to think of it, INFJ's really are very contradictory creatures HAHAHA. i love to talk to people (and find out their deep dark secrets and why they are the way they are) but i don't like being around them too long. i don't like feeling alone at the end of the day, but i don't like socialising because most people don't socialise the way i do.
Haha ah I totally get you, girl! Thanks for the super kind words - your comments have really encouraged me so thanks for taking the time to share. ❤😊 HAHA lol I love corners too 😂 Yeah, that's so true about INFJs being so contradictory. In fact you gave me an idea for a new video! "INFJ Personality Contradictions"! Maybe I'll do that....Thanks Maira! I appreciate your support! ❤ Have a wonderful Sunday!
@@christinelise hahaha you're welcome! glad I can indirectly help :) looking forward to your new video! 😉
@@meowwraaaaa Aw you're so sweet! It's coming out tomorrow! All because of your inspiration! :D
@@christinelise wah that's fast! okay, I'll be waiting! are you open to making videos about your own personal experience being an INFJ? Maybe you can do that too if you're up for it. I think it will really help other INFJ like me feel less alone. 😊
@@meowwraaaaa That's a great idea Maira!
I love your voice and way of speaking and I agree with what you're saying. Thanks for making this video. You also have such a cute and quirky INFJ vibe.
Aw thanks so much that's the sweetest! Haha I'm definitely a bit crazy at times, but aren't we all. Thanks for watching!
I was reminded of it today. I felt annoyed at first but then I just became silent whenever it would happen. It's not my job to yell if I'm not being heard.
Lol - apparently I have this habit of, if I'm ready to say something, I inhale, but then if someone else starts talking I just exhale again. My friends are observant and now make sure to circle back to me if they see me inhaling :)
Couldn't relate more! I actually love and rely on my ability to become invisible in social settings. Sometimes, I want to go into the kitchen to grab water when my boyfriend is hosting a party--I have complete confidence that I can get in and out without anyone trying to chat me up. Sometimes, it feels like I put on an energetic invisibility coat. It comes in handy when I'm socially drained and just not in the mood to engage. It can be kinda sad when I'm in the mood to socialize lol
Yess! I totally relate to this. It's a piece of INFJ magic to become selectively invisible.🤫
Really wise words, never thought it that way that some people really don`t know how to interact with an INFJ. Thanks for the video!:)
Aw thank you - glad you connected with it! Yes, our complexity definitely makes us challenging puzzles for others at times lol.
I think your explanation of how the case comes from our own perception is really great. This helped me. Thank you! 🤗❤
Now I know why I am in line somewhere and they wait on everybody else, as if I was invisible, lol. I love your videos, thank you! I am understanding myself better and realizing I am not alone.
That makes me so happy to hear. Glad you're here!
You have no idea how much I appreciate this video. I had always wondered what was wrong with me to end up fading in social situations. I always feltI didn't like me the way I was, but I think I like the way I am, I just didn't understand why no one seemed to like me. Your video has opened my eyes to those reasons and has motivated me to start accepting and liking myself as I am. So Thanks very much
Aw that's so great to hear, friend. You're definitely not alone! There are a lot of us that feel like you do. Thanks for sharing ❤
Thank you , it make me feel so much better about myself and i love ur voice
Aw I'm so glad to hear that! And thank you haha, lots of people have commented on my voice lol! Thanks for watching!
We are our own toughest critic.
As the Universe
So the soul
Aren't we though! INFJs are so hard on themselves.
@@christinelise yes . A curse and a blessing to have been given a odd personality
You speak like Frank James 😂
LOL!!! That's awesome - I must have listened to too much of his stuff. Good times lol
Yeah, I noticed it too.
First I watched his videos too, but then I stopped when I realized he’s not an INFJ. Nothing wrong with that, ofcourse, but there are better people then to listen to to learn more about our personality type.
I’m just confused by her accent completely!
You are a very old soul :). You remind me of a girl I once knew that was my Twin Flame. God bless you pretty lady :)
Aw thank you that's so kind!
I always got ignored and that led me to depression, a couple of years ago. And my depression just kept on coming back. Like, the moment I was writing this comment, I had just experienced the attacks. And I didn't know if anybody felt it. I needed someone who would instantly feel how I feel without being told.
Yes, we all need to feel seen and understood. Depression is very real and very hard! I've been there too for sure. 🙏
Sometimes its cool to be unique and sometimes its nice to blend in and feel like the crowd not pique their critique
There is the benign version, which you describe perfectly, then there is this other one…sometimes people will project their judgments of themselves, onto us. It’s unfair and unrealistic to assume anyone thinks about another person as much as people seem to think we do, at times. People can treat INFJs as if we are the embodiment of their own conscience. It’s obtuse and irrational. It’s also quite painful. (P.S. an enfp can be amused for hours by their own shadow - I mean this as a compliment)
Lmao, you said we are not "beastly". That's one thing that has kind of annoyed me personally, that I do look like a damn gym rat whether I go to the gym a lot or not. Sure as a guy I sure have gone to the gym a lot at times but then I start talking about all this stuff about personalities and random other crap and I doubt anyone understands how to deal with me. It's a strange existence sometimes.
Spot on, great topic. Thank you 💕
Thanks for watching Meg! Glad you enjoyed it! :)
In the modern arena most people are putting on a facade......and we can read their true being, I've seen people retract when they realize I've got their number....
I prefer one on one or group of three.
Yes. Great way to put it.
The I Am isn’t something we feel to make known ... ...... ......... you’re uniquely pleasing!
Aw thank you!
This was really helpful, thanks for sharing these insights
So glad - of course!
@@christinelise So glad I found your channel
@@rb919 Thank you I'm glad you're here! :D
This topic crumbles me.
I do fade, but I figured I came up with a self critical explanation. I feel like eveyrone knows I'm there, they just dont' want to know me--which is the self critical explanation.
I've thought that before too. And yet, I think we're intimidating in a good way sometimes because I've found that people are often afraid of depth. And INFJs are very deep.
Love this advice!!💕
I don’t verbalize much because whenever I do, I replay and over analyze everything I’ve said for like, a week. And, the party thing… on the nose
I totally get that!
Its so much easier to write it down... =/
I observed very closely what it is that really makes me as an INFJ fade in a group setting. And it's always the same thing actually: It's just as simple as it sounds, not knowing what to say. Lacking a story, lacking knowledge on the topic. It seems to actually be from weak Si, bad memory. I never remember any facts, stories about anything literally. So while others are talking, I'm standing there with this great energy, with all the energy and intent in the world to say something, and like ummm.. uhh... gimme a moment, I'll think of what to say.. um..
Not social anxiety, just not being able to think of anything due to no information on it. Could be weak Ne also.
A combination of weak Si (no memories) + weak Ne (no ability to recall and connect even the things that I do know).
*
Thought my self over the years to be way more disagreeable then I natrually was, even to the point of being more disagreeable then others often. And no, it didn't help. Cus the whole "harmony" thing wasn't the true reason for the fading in the first place. It genuinely is just my brain of not being able to think of content to say.
-So in my opinion it's kind of cope saying INFJ's just avoid talking but could if they wanted... nah, the truth is they are not capable to talk good even if they wanted and tried.
wow i struggle with this but thought i just had a memory issue
I've realised this recently too. I am hoping that picking up reading a lot will help. I used to read/ write a lot in school, It have me talking points. I prefer bonding over doing things/ activity rather than talking though
@@calmingbabysleep1256 I can write very well though. The whole thing is in time. I think we INFj's think way more slowly then others, especially extraverts, who's brain can come up with a lot of quantity fast.
So in real life we are too slow to keep up. We go slow and deep, and Ni discards any information that is not crucial. So we have no funny stories or barely retain any random knowledge.
@@Bobby_101 I agree. Some recommendations?
@@calmingbabysleep1256 For talking better?
Te and Ne training. Talking is really the use of those 2 functions. + Drawing from Si.
So train Ne by doing the free word association exercise.
Train Te by taking a single topic, and talking about it for 3-5 min. Repeat.
For Si and memories.. I did use mnemonics and tricks for remembering, but still nothing that truly helped in a functional way.
*
Just know improvement would not be big. Just as if someone who doesn't have talent, even if he trains can get only so far.
Very very true, I analyse the room at the different stories going on (it kinda feels like a film), but then that singles me out from the crowd (just realised now) 🙃 And youre right, when you feel invisible you wonder why you came to the party and did you waste your time? 🤔 Whew, thats why Im shifty going to parties now. Sorry youve felt unnoticed 😔 and it looks like other INFJs seem better at solving that "rubiks cube", because theyre one of us. Whenever I have a conversation, I choose a subject which you can swim further deep into, but not many want that. And conversations you get so stuck into it evolves from one topic to the next, and you dont even realise it 😂
I dont know if you like the deep meaningful conversations where you can think on a wide level. Do you do discussions? Id love to share ideas and thought processes 😊
I can relate to so many of those thoughts! Yes totally agree - other INFJs are often the other people that can unlock us best! I haven't done discussions but that's a cool idea. Maybe I'll do a live stream sometime. 😀
@@christinelise looks like we have very similar thoughts 😊 yeah very true, Im trying to find more INFJs in life 😂 I saw your discussions tab empty and wondered if youd be up for one? Ooo live will be better! 😀
yes.. i would like to join some discussion too :)
I tend to get verycannoyed and end up being very blunt about what I think then regret it later. Only because for sine reason orher people can get away with it, but not me.😢
I just experienced this at a work party :) :(
INFJ Fade: Is it a haircut?! 😂
Good idea thank you
of course!
I once had an ENFP friend who was a human magnet and constantly had awkward social gatherings featuring the motley crew of homo sapiens he would round up over the course of a year.
Lots of social anxiety for all. I did, however, discover my INFJ gift of gab...good times 😃
Haha yes - Gotta love those ENFPs!!
@@christinelise love my ENFP buuuut they sometimes dont get when its time for enough talk. Then the belt comes out! Then she really loves me...
I’m Isfp and do this “INFJ fade” lol. Ig we isfps are less analytical and just straight up chillin when we do this. Dunno infjs irl but I wanna be friends with one I love y’all but I’m also really scared to talk lol
I like the way you talk, where are you from?
Thanks! I'm originally from Pennsylvania.
U say: “stay kind”; I say “be good” or “have a great day” I’m a real nerf herder LOL 😂
"Is it a Hair cut ?" Lol
You never know lol ;)
Watching this while get ignored lol
Can totally relate!
I experienced this
Me too - many times.
the INFJ fade is what every CIA agent wishes they could do... i use it like octopi use their camoflauge to just blend into the background.
LOL so true!!!
So that's how u do the Ne doms at least twist after u stab 😂
Haha!
Is it a haircut 🤣
✔
Rubics cube 😂
Female JF lol🤣