I’m so happy you were able to spend this time with him - and document it. Parkinson’s with dementia is not for the faint of heart. That moment you recalled when he had that look of realization on his face - I felt that deep - I know that’s as tough for you as it is for him. It’s unfair and difficult to watch. I love how you are handling it with humor, compassion, and clearly a ton of love. You’re doing amazing! Your dad has an incredible spirit.
Thank you! I know that you know! I'm really glad we did that. Every time I do something like this I grow in such strange ways I never knew I needed growth in. It was challenging and fun.
Went thru this with my dad. I'm single so I put life on hold and moved in with him. I bought him a SxS UTV and he's got a mobility van. For 5 years I took him fishing, hunting, traveling locally, and road tripping. Cooked his meals for him, doctors visits and all his travels. I was fortunate he only had dementia last 4-5 months of his life. I miss him but spent so much time with him and I've no regrets or wishing I would've done more or any of that. I'm glad you cross did a cross country with your dad. Time we'll spent, you'll never regret it and never forget it.
I enjoy watching a random "day in the life" of youtubers and what a wonderful event that you did with your father. Dementia is a very sad, and heartbreaking condition as you had mentioned. I'm a nurse in a hospital have experienced the many forms of dementia and alzheimer's dementia (the worst form) in patients and it's sad to see the elderly just unable to care for themselves. The condition gets to the point where there is no choice but to place the patient in a skilled nursing home and as you had mentioned, all these facilities are expensive. Healthcare is broken, that's for sure an I've worked for it for 7+ years. But at the same time, family needs to step up and help with taking care for these patients. One of big triggering factors to worsen dementia, especially at night is to change the environment/setting of the person. Great vids, keep up the work.
Thanks Vonex! I respect what you do so much! I agree with you as well. We as family need to step up and do our part. I hear you on moving him which can make him worse. I was worried on the road trip because we'd be in a new room every night but he's been way more unruly at the independent facility was living and in skilled nursing. Much respect for you again!
You seem so nice man, best thing to do is just go with it. My grandaddy thought i was his brother for the last 6 months of his life. Just happy i was able to be there for him. Correcting him just makes him feel bad and thats the worst thing i could do. His whole mood changed the days i corrected him and made him feel bad he was losing it. Just enjoy the time you have and be that "Brother" , help him set that alarm on his remote!! Whatever it takes!! Stay strong man, love the channel and want to support you all i can!
I'm sorry it took so long for me to respond after I read your message. When I read it I knew you were right and I'll never correct him again. It's absolutely pointless and doesn't help either one of us. Thank you Ben.
I feel you so much in this story Brennan. Taking care of my dad in California put me in so much debt that it sent me straight into yachting to quickly pay it off. Sending you love and patience to be able to overcome this part of your life. Taking care of our parents is one the the hardest parts of our lifetime as we come in full circle. 💚💚💚💚
Thanks Francoise! It really was a good experience. I would have rather have had to take him somewhere he actually wanted to go in the first place but New Jersey was the best option. He's doing really well and he seems happy there.
Thanks Peter! I'm doing what I can as I still maintain a nomadic life. The one good thing about Dad's parkinsons is that it has progressed really slowly.
Thanks alfamalen! Yeah, I think you're right. Even watching these clips, also part two coming up gets me a bit misty. I'm glad I could do that for him.
I'm glad you're spending this time with your dad, I'm glad that you shared this, as I have to senuor parents still living but I'm blessed with 3 other siblings. And most importantly, without getting too political, I'm glad you're moving him East. Safe travels.
Thanks Don, it's been quite a journey of 20 years with his Parkinsons. Agreed, California is really brutal for all of the tax revenue and fees they bring in.
Thanks Brennan and Dad for sharing this heartbreaking story, the amazing views a counterpoint to the tragedy of Parkinson's with dementia and a healthcare system that requires travelling across country to provide for the needs of people that have given so much to society during their lifetimes. Social care is a system that is broken in many countries across the globe, even were it exists.
Very well said Vince. I'm not sure I could have said it better myself. All of those things. Being trapped into moving an elderly loved one across the country that has been disabled for 20 years from the age of 49. Through no fault of his own he was not able to work or save for retirement. How many people does this happen to? What are the options for those people? We're a strong enough country to look after the weak even though some people take advantage of the system. Leaving good humans to hang out to dry doesn't seem very fair.
I came over from the CrewChef, and man his video hit me hard. I lost my Grandma to Alzheimer's, my mom had pancreatic cancer and my dad to liver cancer. Your dad reminds me soo much of both my Grandma and my dad especially when he was low on iron. He would just roam and pick at things. He'd keep me up all night. Hang in there man, I know it's insane now and it hurts... But take his good days and keep them in your heart. No matter how hard this is for us kids, he knows he's struggling and he must be so miserable. Sending love.
@@OliveOilandGasoline It causes all sorts of problems. Look up Anemia with dementia. Caused in him moments where he just wasn't upstairs but the lights were on and the body was moving. Dunno about the UTIs, likely his parkinsons is the culprit. But I get them chronically due to a medical condition and get over the counter generic brand Phenazopyridine, which goes by the popular brand AZO. Might give him some night time relief.
Brennan, enjoy seeing you and Nina with the yacht chef videos. Having been through the last 6 years with a mother in similar situation as your father I can understand all that you are dealing with behind the scenes, The US health care system is indeed a fractured and antiquated system badly in need of change. Best of luck with you father and I look forward to all your future videos that allow an escape (for me) from the daily grind. Ben in Colorado
Thanks for adding in to the conversation, I didn't expect so much back from people going through similar situations. When you're going through it you feel like it's only happening to you because it's sort of all consuming. I had no idea I'd get this kind of support from this video.
Hey Brennan and Geoff-Geoff. you look good!!! Good to see you and king Brennan, the best son on the planet, doing this. ‘You made a great video for all friends to see whats Cookin. Brave souls!! Im married to Vincent and we NEVER take a moment for granted. Make the best of each day! 🎉 ❤
@@OliveOilandGasoline My late husband was diagnosed with cancer in 2010. The doctor gave him 3 months. He did not abide with the doctor. Instead, he lived until 2020. I gave him the best send-off in 2019 with 5 cruises between September and December. One in September for 7 days, one in November for another 7 days, and then in December for 3 back-to-back 5 day cruises. I wanted to make sure he lived to see and experience life. He did! This is how I know you are a great soul. You have gifted your Dad greatly. 🤗
Wish I could spend that quality time with my parents, but it didn't work out that way, but I have with my adult kids. NJ? been there for the first 30 years, going back? No. But been going to Colorado, Wyoming and Montana a lot.
It's wonderful meeting your Dad! The film of the Grand Canyon is gorgeous.My car has been there but I have not. I'm happy that you both have this special time together.Even with the difficulties your making wonderful memories that will be with you always. Thank you for sharing this trip with us! Love from Vermont
Thanks Rebekah! We had a great time, lots of memories were made and we both got another taste of how big and beautiful the US is! I'll never get tired of cruising through the States.
What a great trip you guys are on. It's good that you are with him and able to see how far the progression of his disease has gone. I recommend that you spend some time with a social worker and talk about where he's at. If he is going walk-about at night I'm pretty sure that he is past most of the assisted living scenarios. I've dealt with this before and each move gets harder than the last, Take care and good luck.
Hi SeaDog, thanks for saying that. Why do you think that if he's walking around at night he won't be able to be in assisted living? What was you experience?
Your dad is hilarious and super cool. It's awesome you have this time to spend with him and he's lucky to have you as well. I'm sorry for his pain and yours. It really sucks. Remember the humor you share to get you through the most serious times. It will help so much and keep you sane.❤
One of the great things about Dad is his ability to crack funny unique jokes at the right time. Even when the chips are down he's still got something up his sleeve to crack us both up.
I feel for you. It's a beautiful trip - full of wonderful moments. But then the dementia kicks in and hits you in the face. Sundowning is no joke. My dad died of Lewy Body dementia just a couple years ago and I was his caregiver. The nights are so hard, I think I didn't get a full nights sleep for over a year. Luckily? he wasn't as mobile as your dad so he could only wander the bedroom and house with his walker, doors w/ locks were beyond him. But still, trying to keep him safe at night was majorly difficult. There were times when the fugue state really kicked in and others he thought he was 10 yrs old and heading out to milk the cows! Yea, we never had any cows... I hope you found a good memory care facility for him. We found CBD tinctures really helped dad a lot, he was more communicative and aware in the daytime and a bit better at night. If the facility will use them, it is something to try to make things easier on him and his caregivers. We started out with very low THC and upped this as he progressed. It made a huge difference, huge. I never realized just how much until he was without them while hospitalized with pneumonia. Melatonin and honey chamomile tea also helped settle him a bit at night until things really progressed, but they did work when he was at the stage your dad seems to be currently. I do feel for you, it is hard to see this person you love degrade in their mind and abilities. I'm glad you got this time together while he still is aware and you could have some fun.
Thanks for that Cheerio. I can only imagine what you went through. What you did is 100x our little road trip in terms of care and devotion. You're pretty remarkable for doing that. He's in a Post Acute right now waiting for Medicare to kick in so he can go to assisted living which we hope he'll be in for awhile. Dad definitely does better with some THC at night and it's legal in certain parts of NJ but at a Post Acute they might not be able to give him any. It depends on how cool they are. It's worth a shot! Thanks for reminding me!
@@OliveOilandGasoline Thanks for your kind words. It was hard, but the idea of travelling with him somewhere he could get out at night terrifies me! I don't know how you managed that part, but it is obvious he was having a great time seeing the parks. We got the tip on the THC from my Aunt. Her husband had LBD and was in a facility that recommended CBD / THC as they had seen it work for other patients. They couldn't get it for him, but told her if she, or someone else, would buy it and get it to the facility, then they would administer it. Odd rule cuz it is legal here in WA state, but if they first say no, maybe ask if you can get it there somehow - would they give it to him.
I feel for you, I cared for my mum for 20 years as she deteriorated and it was hard! Add to that my feelings of guilt whenever I felt irritated or tired.....it's tough but believe me, when his fight is over your conscience will be clear and that is massive. What a discovery you are... Just saw your interview by Nina, the Crew Chef... 😉
Hi shrubs1y2 I can tell you've done your time looking after someone. You mentioned the guilt you feel when you're just don't have enough in the tank that day or in that moment to look after someone that might also be in a bad mood or not in the mood to be looked after. It gets gritty sometimes but I don't regret a minute of it. I always grow from all of these experiences in ways I didn't know I needed to or had to.
@End: Hey man.. We love Papa.. I know it is heartbreaking for both Papa and you... He cannot say it loud.. I love the fact that you are taking him to safer and better place... Sending loads of love from India, to both Papa and you...
@10:40 - I give 100/100!! He looks so cool and comfortable!! Papa Brennan is more cooler than you!! Hahahahaha... Especiaaly when he says, "What old man?"...
Mum has dementia and a friends mum has it as well we call it the long goodbye you see them fail every day they're happy in their own minds but it very hard on me and the rest of the family you loose a bit of them each day
You're lucky you can afford to help your dad move to NJ. NJ isn't Cali, but it's better than people think, you just have to look harder to find cool stuff. As regards the medical system and facilities for memory/cognitive impairment, it's good. Good Luck (and welcome).
Thanks TG. Garloo, I'm really happy he's there. He's having fun reconnecting with his brother and is getting much better care than he was in California!
@@OliveOilandGasoline ya do what you can. Do you have siblings in the area that can stop in and share the responsibilities? I figure you aren’t working anywhere near NJ. Are you comfortable with his new neurologist? Can you recruit cousins to cover?
My prayers are with you both! My mom suffered from Alzheimer’s & Dementia, and after my dad passed in 1999 she was my responsibility. We made the same journey you are on … her condo, to assisted living, to memory care. It’s hard, damn hard, but as you know at this time in life they depend on us to make decisions to insure their well being. It won’t get better, hold steady if you are lucky, slip deeper and deeper into the abyss if not. But with professional help you will make it through and he will be contented until his time. A long life isn’t always a blessing. COVID finally took my mom at 94, but by that time she didn’t understand what was happening. All I could do, and all you will be able to do, is keep them safe & comfortable and visit as often as possible so they know they are loved. Like I said, my prayers are with you.
Thanks William. This is sound advice from someone with experience. Like you said I just want to keep him safe and comfortable but I also agree that a long life is not always a good one. I'm also realizing exactly what you said, since the start 20 years ago all of this has gotten progressively worse for all parties involved but especially him.
Believe me I wasn't sure if sharing this was the right thing to do. I had the idea late one night after a couple of beers and dismissed it in the morning as something that wouldn't benefit anyone. A week later I told Dad about the idea and he was absolutely stoked about the idea and wouldn't stop talking about it!
@@OliveOilandGasoline Brennan I’m from The Netherlands. A (richly developed) country. My father who worked his ass off (which he enjoyed !) ended in a nursing home after having a big stroke. Before, he travelled the world like you. Loved food, loved life. Due to the special care he needed I wasn’t able to take him in to our house. What shocked me the most is that even basic care, like a shower every day, healthy food, Be helped to the toilet in time etc etc. I’m well aware a nursing home isn’t a Four Seasons Hotel. But FFS basic care. Love and a little attention. 2022. After 4 years in that nursing home my dad passed away. I was ( happy) for him. My mom was more lucky. She lived with us for 4 years. Due to special care she lived the last 2years in a nursing home and passed away last year age 90. We took care of our parents as long as possible. I have seen to much lonely people and bad care in nursing homes. Watching you and your dad on this road trip touched me. The reason for the trip is sad.
interesting point if the healthcare is broken. I would say it doesn't exist. I know how hard it is to see what this illniss is doing. You have fun moments and see things you never saw before but it also drives you to your edge what you never thought it would be possible. Luckily there are a lot of people in healtcare still with a good heart and lots of patience. Hope your dad can settle and feel at home in his new environement. The struggle when is always heartbrekaing and many times too late because you want to keep them stable and feel at home and then there is a sudden change. Don't feel guilty and try to spend as much time with him as possible and put you needs a little aside
Hi Rob, the system is separate from the amazing individuals that work in it. It's exactly how you wrote it, people with good hearts and lots and lots of patience to deal with all of these fine folks that are aging and acting strangely.
Dude - I'm so sorry, my Mom had the same and lasted and then finally expired after two years. It's heart breaking. And for his proper care to be $10k/month in the greatest country in the world and you have to move him back East in order to save some shekels is unconscionable to me. If you tell me he is a veteran, I will explode. Can I send you $100./ towards his care. It's all I can do at the moment, but your work brings me infinitely more joy. Reach out somehow.
Hi Ian, I think we just got used to the idea of moving him when we realized that getting angry at the system was not going to help my Dad, my Aunt and Uncle and myself in any way. The anger is still there but as usual it's not healthy or useful. We moved him and now it's done and he's getting more care for less money. You can't get old in this country unless you're rich and even that they will try to take every penny from you before you leave this plane of existence. Thank you for offering up some cash. That's really nice of you Ian but he's not costing me as much as he used to and it would feel weird to take your money. It's really nice of you to offer.
@@OliveOilandGasoline No worries. Please don't take any offence with my offer. My Mom had a horrible two years at the end and your video brought back a flood of emotions. Wish him and you and your family all the very best.
Isn't that ever true! Once you're "in it" with a family member you start to connect with so many different people already in your life that struggled with something similar and you had no idea. Do you think it's because we're not that interested in anyone else's hardships?
@@OliveOilandGasoline The bag tossing at your pops, the way he’s dressed, the way you interact with him. Many things. Reminds me of my dad and myself. Side note, Paso Robles, CA resident here. Just “down the street” from Ventura.
Also, I posted super early into the video. Good on you for taking your dad and going sightseeing. We’re in the process of moving my mom onto our ranch for similar-ish reasons. Cheers man.
Most beautiful place I've driven is West Virginia. Not a place to be if you are a Democrat, but the scenery wirh the mountains, creeks and wildlife are gorgeous.
Best Wishes and Kindest of thoughts to you and yours. Unfortunately, our health care system in the USA is absolute garbage. It's the #1 reason for bankruptcy filings - even among those who have 'good' health insurance, it's not the best in the world barring just a few 'niche' treatment areas, and the profiting off of suffering is neither Christian or Moral. We're the richest country the world has ever known and we, as a society, deserve better. That we're the only developed nation in the world that exploits our peoples suffering for profit is not how we should be - Right - Left - Center shouldn't matter. Quit buying the lies of for-profit care and/or the politicians whom they buy hook/line/sinker. God Bless.
Well said! Speaking for myself, I don't have time or emotional space to be angry any more, it's too late for us and we need to gamify what we can out of this corrupt system to take care of Dad. This shit hand that has been dealt to all Americans is evil to the core, there is no other word for it. Coupled with our terrible education system leads people to believe that we have the best healthcare in the world even though they've never even been to another country or it's hospitals. It's a scam and we're getting screwed every day of our lives. However the fine folks that work in the system are incredible heros that need to be paid and respected more.
Boss, I like you work but with a family who needs assistance with the basics of daily living, it is simple, no fancy words suffice. I understand that you have limitations in what you can do for your dad, on a daily basis. Health services should suffice at any level of care needed, surely this is a fundamental right and necessity in any developed country. We all have the expectation and right to enter the end stage of life with dignity, comfort and respect. Sadly there is often bullshit, rubbish attention to this. I really don't like hearing your reference to "skilled nursing" which is particular bullshit. You are a skilled person, a reputable chef with quals and experience, that is what skilled means! Re-naming nursing homes with "skilled nursing" means nothing if skilled nurses and associated health care disciplines are not available. This sounds to me more like aspirational dreams than realities imposed by economics and the need to profit. I have experience, as a "skilled nurse". I will never end my days in a "skilled nursing" facility. Sorry but I prefer the truth and reality.
PowhiroMus! You said a lot there. Skilled Nursing used to be called a nursing home. Not much has changed I don't think. I know what you mean by the name, just to be a nurse means to be "skilled" it doesn''t make a difference that you use that word or not. I can't and won't grow old in America, not as it is now. You have no support there with an astonishingly over priced medical system that no one can afford without expensive "insurance". Greed and evil are winning in the richest country in the world.
![🎤 จับฉลากร้องเพลง x P’ #XXSIVK [EP.1] (2/2) เพื่อนจับได้คำไหน..ต้องร้องคำนั้น เริ่ม! 💓🎶 #MXFRUIT](http://i.ytimg.com/vi/1bJvMJXmeS4/mqdefault.jpg)
I’m so happy you were able to spend this time with him - and document it. Parkinson’s with dementia is not for the faint of heart. That moment you recalled when he had that look of realization on his face - I felt that deep - I know that’s as tough for you as it is for him. It’s unfair and difficult to watch. I love how you are handling it with humor, compassion, and clearly a ton of love. You’re doing amazing! Your dad has an incredible spirit.
Thank you! I know that you know! I'm really glad we did that. Every time I do something like this I grow in such strange ways I never knew I needed growth in. It was challenging and fun.
Went thru this with my dad. I'm single so I put life on hold and moved in with him. I bought him a SxS UTV and he's got a mobility van. For 5 years I took him fishing, hunting, traveling locally, and road tripping. Cooked his meals for him, doctors visits and all his travels. I was fortunate he only had dementia last 4-5 months of his life. I miss him but spent so much time with him and I've no regrets or wishing I would've done more or any of that. I'm glad you cross did a cross country with your dad. Time we'll spent, you'll never regret it and never forget it.
I enjoy watching a random "day in the life" of youtubers and what a wonderful event that you did with your father. Dementia is a very sad, and heartbreaking condition as you had mentioned. I'm a nurse in a hospital have experienced the many forms of dementia and alzheimer's dementia (the worst form) in patients and it's sad to see the elderly just unable to care for themselves. The condition gets to the point where there is no choice but to place the patient in a skilled nursing home and as you had mentioned, all these facilities are expensive. Healthcare is broken, that's for sure an I've worked for it for 7+ years. But at the same time, family needs to step up and help with taking care for these patients. One of big triggering factors to worsen dementia, especially at night is to change the environment/setting of the person. Great vids, keep up the work.
Thanks Vonex! I respect what you do so much! I agree with you as well. We as family need to step up and do our part. I hear you on moving him which can make him worse. I was worried on the road trip because we'd be in a new room every night but he's been way more unruly at the independent facility was living and in skilled nursing. Much respect for you again!
That was an incredible drive man, your Dad is awesome! The key thing is you're taking care of his needs for now and that admirable dude.
Thanks Nick, he did the same for me as a kid. It's my turn to pay him back.
You seem so nice man, best thing to do is just go with it. My grandaddy thought i was his brother for the last 6 months of his life. Just happy i was able to be there for him. Correcting him just makes him feel bad and thats the worst thing i could do. His whole mood changed the days i corrected him and made him feel bad he was losing it. Just enjoy the time you have and be that "Brother" , help him set that alarm on his remote!! Whatever it takes!!
Stay strong man, love the channel and want to support you all i can!
I'm sorry it took so long for me to respond after I read your message. When I read it I knew you were right and I'll never correct him again. It's absolutely pointless and doesn't help either one of us. Thank you Ben.
I feel you so much in this story Brennan. Taking care of my dad in California put me in so much debt that it sent me straight into yachting to quickly pay it off. Sending you love and patience to be able to overcome this part of your life. Taking care of our parents is one the the hardest parts of our lifetime as we come in full circle. 💚💚💚💚
Thanks Francoise! It really was a good experience. I would have rather have had to take him somewhere he actually wanted to go in the first place but New Jersey was the best option. He's doing really well and he seems happy there.
Daddy Dates’ outfit gets a 9 out 10!
I'm into fitness or his louder attire?
Its soul destroying to watch your hero slowly crumble in front of your eyes. Support him the best way you can and hold on to the good memories.
Thanks Peter! I'm doing what I can as I still maintain a nomadic life. The one good thing about Dad's parkinsons is that it has progressed really slowly.
What an awesome journey! Prayers for your father and you . . . Peace!
Thanks BigDave!
Great work Brennan. This is going to mean a lot to you both.
Thanks alfamalen! Yeah, I think you're right. Even watching these clips, also part two coming up gets me a bit misty. I'm glad I could do that for him.
I'm glad you're spending this time with your dad, I'm glad that you shared this, as I have to senuor parents still living but I'm blessed with 3 other siblings. And most importantly, without getting too political, I'm glad you're moving him East. Safe travels.
Thanks Don, it's been quite a journey of 20 years with his Parkinsons. Agreed, California is really brutal for all of the tax revenue and fees they bring in.
Thanks Brennan and Dad for sharing this heartbreaking story, the amazing views a counterpoint to the tragedy of Parkinson's with dementia and a healthcare system that requires travelling across country to provide for the needs of people that have given so much to society during their lifetimes. Social care is a system that is broken in many countries across the globe, even were it exists.
Very well said Vince. I'm not sure I could have said it better myself. All of those things. Being trapped into moving an elderly loved one across the country that has been disabled for 20 years from the age of 49. Through no fault of his own he was not able to work or save for retirement. How many people does this happen to? What are the options for those people? We're a strong enough country to look after the weak even though some people take advantage of the system. Leaving good humans to hang out to dry doesn't seem very fair.
I came over from the CrewChef, and man his video hit me hard. I lost my Grandma to Alzheimer's, my mom had pancreatic cancer and my dad to liver cancer. Your dad reminds me soo much of both my Grandma and my dad especially when he was low on iron. He would just roam and pick at things. He'd keep me up all night. Hang in there man, I know it's insane now and it hurts... But take his good days and keep them in your heart. No matter how hard this is for us kids, he knows he's struggling and he must be so miserable.
Sending love.
Thanks Patricia! Can you tell me more about being low in iron? Does that cause insomnia? He keeps getting UTI's that send him pretty insane.
@@OliveOilandGasoline It causes all sorts of problems. Look up Anemia with dementia. Caused in him moments where he just wasn't upstairs but the lights were on and the body was moving. Dunno about the UTIs, likely his parkinsons is the culprit. But I get them chronically due to a medical condition and get over the counter generic brand Phenazopyridine, which goes by the popular brand AZO. Might give him some night time relief.
@@Dascia2 This is great! I'll pass it on to Gary who will ask the staff at the post acute about it.
Brennan, enjoy seeing you and Nina with the yacht chef videos. Having been through the last 6 years with a mother in similar situation as your father I can understand all that you are dealing with behind the scenes, The US health care system is indeed a fractured and antiquated system badly in need of change. Best of luck with you father and I look forward to all your future videos that allow an escape (for me) from the daily grind. Ben in Colorado
Thanks for adding in to the conversation, I didn't expect so much back from people going through similar situations. When you're going through it you feel like it's only happening to you because it's sort of all consuming. I had no idea I'd get this kind of support from this video.
You are a good son and man Brennan, love you dearly. So very hard but doing it with care and smiles...
Thanks Aunt Theresa, he's still a lot of fun to be with.
Hey Brennan and Geoff-Geoff. you look good!!! Good to see you and king Brennan, the best son on the planet, doing this. ‘You made a great video for all friends to see whats Cookin. Brave souls!! Im married to Vincent and we NEVER take a moment for granted. Make the best of each day! 🎉 ❤
Hi Sandi, thanks for watching those episodes. I'm sorry I missed your comment until now. I'm glad you're happy and have a youtube channel!
You are a very kind soul to do this for your Dad. ❤
Thank you for saying that. He deserves it.
@@OliveOilandGasoline I have my own personal reasons for knowing this. It is from the ❤ that I speak. 🙏
I appreciate you saying that. I hope it's not from first hand experience of Parkinsons or dementia.
@@OliveOilandGasoline My late husband was diagnosed with cancer in 2010. The doctor gave him 3 months. He did not abide with the doctor. Instead, he lived until 2020. I gave him the best send-off in 2019 with 5 cruises between September and December. One in September for 7 days, one in November for another 7 days, and then in December for 3 back-to-back 5 day cruises. I wanted to make sure he lived to see and experience life. He did! This is how I know you are a great soul. You have gifted your Dad greatly. 🤗
Wish I could spend that quality time with my parents, but it didn't work out that way, but I have with my adult kids. NJ? been there for the first 30 years, going back? No. But been going to Colorado, Wyoming and Montana a lot.
Hi Pete, thanks for watching. The west is the best.
It's wonderful meeting your Dad! The film of the Grand Canyon is gorgeous.My car has been there but I have not. I'm happy that you both have this special time together.Even with the difficulties your making wonderful memories that will be with you always. Thank you for sharing this trip with us! Love from Vermont
Thanks Rebekah! We had a great time, lots of memories were made and we both got another taste of how big and beautiful the US is! I'll never get tired of cruising through the States.
I'm glad the trip went well. I hope your Dad will enjoy his new abode in New Jersey and gets the best care.
Thank you and I'm sure he will enjoy it!
What a great trip you guys are on. It's good that you are with him and able to see how far the progression of his disease has gone. I recommend that you spend some time with a social worker and talk about where he's at. If he is going walk-about at night I'm pretty sure that he is past most of the assisted living scenarios. I've dealt with this before and each move gets harder than the last, Take care and good luck.
Hi SeaDog, thanks for saying that. Why do you think that if he's walking around at night he won't be able to be in assisted living? What was you experience?
Your dad is hilarious and super cool. It's awesome you have this time to spend with him and he's lucky to have you as well. I'm sorry for his pain and yours. It really sucks. Remember the humor you share to get you through the most serious times. It will help so much and keep you sane.❤
One of the great things about Dad is his ability to crack funny unique jokes at the right time. Even when the chips are down he's still got something up his sleeve to crack us both up.
I feel for you. It's a beautiful trip - full of wonderful moments. But then the dementia kicks in and hits you in the face. Sundowning is no joke. My dad died of Lewy Body dementia just a couple years ago and I was his caregiver. The nights are so hard, I think I didn't get a full nights sleep for over a year. Luckily? he wasn't as mobile as your dad so he could only wander the bedroom and house with his walker, doors w/ locks were beyond him. But still, trying to keep him safe at night was majorly difficult. There were times when the fugue state really kicked in and others he thought he was 10 yrs old and heading out to milk the cows! Yea, we never had any cows...
I hope you found a good memory care facility for him. We found CBD tinctures really helped dad a lot, he was more communicative and aware in the daytime and a bit better at night. If the facility will use them, it is something to try to make things easier on him and his caregivers. We started out with very low THC and upped this as he progressed. It made a huge difference, huge. I never realized just how much until he was without them while hospitalized with pneumonia. Melatonin and honey chamomile tea also helped settle him a bit at night until things really progressed, but they did work when he was at the stage your dad seems to be currently.
I do feel for you, it is hard to see this person you love degrade in their mind and abilities. I'm glad you got this time together while he still is aware and you could have some fun.
Thanks for that Cheerio. I can only imagine what you went through. What you did is 100x our little road trip in terms of care and devotion. You're pretty remarkable for doing that.
He's in a Post Acute right now waiting for Medicare to kick in so he can go to assisted living which we hope he'll be in for awhile.
Dad definitely does better with some THC at night and it's legal in certain parts of NJ but at a Post Acute they might not be able to give him any. It depends on how cool they are. It's worth a shot! Thanks for reminding me!
@@OliveOilandGasoline Thanks for your kind words. It was hard, but the idea of travelling with him somewhere he could get out at night terrifies me! I don't know how you managed that part, but it is obvious he was having a great time seeing the parks.
We got the tip on the THC from my Aunt. Her husband had LBD and was in a facility that recommended CBD / THC as they had seen it work for other patients. They couldn't get it for him, but told her if she, or someone else, would buy it and get it to the facility, then they would administer it. Odd rule cuz it is legal here in WA state, but if they first say no, maybe ask if you can get it there somehow - would they give it to him.
Beautiful video - superb travelogue, cinematography and great that you both enjoyed the trip!
Thanks Swiper 1818, it was such an amazing trip. I wouldn't change any of it.
I feel for you, I cared for my mum for 20 years as she deteriorated and it was hard! Add to that my feelings of guilt whenever I felt irritated or tired.....it's tough but believe me, when his fight is over your conscience will be clear and that is massive. What a discovery you are... Just saw your interview by Nina, the Crew Chef... 😉
Hi shrubs1y2 I can tell you've done your time looking after someone. You mentioned the guilt you feel when you're just don't have enough in the tank that day or in that moment to look after someone that might also be in a bad mood or not in the mood to be looked after. It gets gritty sometimes but I don't regret a minute of it. I always grow from all of these experiences in ways I didn't know I needed to or had to.
@@OliveOilandGasoline Because we all need them, can I send you some hugs? 🫂🫂🫂🫂
@@ttbko Thanks shurbs 1y2, I'll take them!
@End: Hey man.. We love Papa.. I know it is heartbreaking for both Papa and you... He cannot say it loud.. I love the fact that you are taking him to safer and better place... Sending loads of love from India, to both Papa and you...
Thanks S. Gudur! He needs a better place and it was fun to go traveling with him.
@10:40 - I give 100/100!! He looks so cool and comfortable!! Papa Brennan is more cooler than you!! Hahahahaha... Especiaaly when he says, "What old man?"...
Hahaha he's was pretty special dresser that clothes himself with courage and panache!
Mum has dementia and a friends mum has it as well we call it the long goodbye you see them fail every day they're happy in their own minds but it very hard on me and the rest of the family you loose a bit of them each day
Yeah it's definitely rare fun moments when they're acting like their old selves and laughing away! I'm sorry about your Mum.
Beautiful Brennan. You’re a good son 💜
Thanks G!
You're lucky you can afford to help your dad move to NJ. NJ isn't Cali, but it's better than people think, you just have to look harder to find cool stuff. As regards the medical system and facilities for memory/cognitive impairment, it's good. Good Luck (and welcome).
Thanks TG. Garloo, I'm really happy he's there. He's having fun reconnecting with his brother and is getting much better care than he was in California!
@@OliveOilandGasoline when it’s your parent it’s just so tough. Good luck.
@@tg.garloo4271 Absolutely it is. I wish I had the energy to fight the system.
@@OliveOilandGasoline ya do what you can. Do you have siblings in the area that can stop in and share the responsibilities? I figure you aren’t working anywhere near NJ. Are you comfortable with his new neurologist? Can you recruit cousins to cover?
My prayers are with you both! My mom suffered from Alzheimer’s & Dementia, and after my dad passed in 1999 she was my responsibility. We made the same journey you are on … her condo, to assisted living, to memory care. It’s hard, damn hard, but as you know at this time in life they depend on us to make decisions to insure their well being.
It won’t get better, hold steady if you are lucky, slip deeper and deeper into the abyss if not. But with professional help you will make it through and he will be contented until his time. A long life isn’t always a blessing. COVID finally took my mom at 94, but by that time she didn’t understand what was happening. All I could do, and all you will be able to do, is keep them safe & comfortable and visit as often as possible so they know they are loved.
Like I said, my prayers are with you.
Thanks William. This is sound advice from someone with experience. Like you said I just want to keep him safe and comfortable but I also agree that a long life is not always a good one. I'm also realizing exactly what you said, since the start 20 years ago all of this has gotten progressively worse for all parties involved but especially him.
Such great respect for you sharing thiis.
The World is up site down.
Crazy how governments deal with the elderly.
Believe me I wasn't sure if sharing this was the right thing to do. I had the idea late one night after a couple of beers and dismissed it in the morning as something that wouldn't benefit anyone. A week later I told Dad about the idea and he was absolutely stoked about the idea and wouldn't stop talking about it!
@@OliveOilandGasoline Brennan I’m from The Netherlands. A (richly developed) country.
My father who worked his ass off (which he enjoyed !) ended in a nursing home
after having a big stroke. Before, he travelled the world like you. Loved food, loved life.
Due to the special care he needed I wasn’t able to take him in to our house.
What shocked me the most is that even basic care, like a shower every day, healthy food,
Be helped to the toilet in time etc etc. I’m well aware a nursing home isn’t a Four Seasons
Hotel. But FFS basic care. Love and a little attention. 2022.
After 4 years in that nursing home my dad passed away. I was ( happy) for him.
My mom was more lucky. She lived with us for 4 years. Due to special care
she lived the last 2years in a nursing home and passed away last year age 90.
We took care of our parents as long as possible.
I have seen to much lonely people and bad care in nursing homes.
Watching you and your dad on this road trip touched me.
The reason for the trip is sad.
Fantastic landscape!
It was epic!
interesting point if the healthcare is broken. I would say it doesn't exist. I know how hard it is to see what this illniss is doing. You have fun moments and see things you never saw before but it also drives you to your edge what you never thought it would be possible. Luckily there are a lot of people in healtcare still with a good heart and lots of patience. Hope your dad can settle and feel at home in his new environement. The struggle when is always heartbrekaing and many times too late because you want to keep them stable and feel at home and then there is a sudden change. Don't feel guilty and try to spend as much time with him as possible and put you needs a little aside
Hi Rob, the system is separate from the amazing individuals that work in it. It's exactly how you wrote it, people with good hearts and lots and lots of patience to deal with all of these fine folks that are aging and acting strangely.
Dude - I'm so sorry, my Mom had the same and lasted and then finally expired after two years. It's heart breaking.
And for his proper care to be $10k/month in the greatest country in the world and you have to move him back East in order to save some shekels is unconscionable to me. If you tell me he is a veteran, I will explode.
Can I send you $100./ towards his care. It's all I can do at the moment, but your work brings me infinitely more joy.
Reach out somehow.
Hi Ian, I think we just got used to the idea of moving him when we realized that getting angry at the system was not going to help my Dad, my Aunt and Uncle and myself in any way. The anger is still there but as usual it's not healthy or useful. We moved him and now it's done and he's getting more care for less money.
You can't get old in this country unless you're rich and even that they will try to take every penny from you before you leave this plane of existence.
Thank you for offering up some cash. That's really nice of you Ian but he's not costing me as much as he used to and it would feel weird to take your money. It's really nice of you to offer.
@@OliveOilandGasoline No worries. Please don't take any offence with my offer. My Mom had a horrible two years at the end and your video brought back a flood of emotions. Wish him and you and your family all the very best.
@@ianhamilton396 thanks Ian! I'm glad you told me a little about yourself. It's really fascinating, this TH-cam thing.
What you are doing is hard. You are a good son and I'm glad you get this time together.
Thanks Curt! I'm doing the best I can.
Thanks for making the video it's something so many families go through yet nobody talks about it let alone make a video
Isn't that ever true! Once you're "in it" with a family member you start to connect with so many different people already in your life that struggled with something similar and you had no idea. Do you think it's because we're not that interested in anyone else's hardships?
5 mins in and I’m laughing pretty hard. Sweet trip with your pops!
Thanks Cody! Which part?
@@OliveOilandGasoline
The bag tossing at your pops, the way he’s dressed, the way you interact with him. Many things. Reminds me of my dad and myself.
Side note, Paso Robles, CA resident here. Just “down the street” from Ventura.
Also, I posted super early into the video. Good on you for taking your dad and going sightseeing. We’re in the process of moving my mom onto our ranch for similar-ish reasons. Cheers man.
I like hearing that. I want people to think of their Dad's and all they did. The good ones, anyway.
Paso Robles is amazing! Great wine!
Awesome- road trip!
Thanks T210!
It is not fair
No it's not but it was time to take action.
Most beautiful place I've driven is West Virginia. Not a place to be if you are a Democrat, but the scenery wirh the mountains, creeks and wildlife are gorgeous.
West Virginia gets a bad rap, it's gorgeous there!
💪 fukin love you big man
Thanks Brother! I love you too my man!
Come stop by my Ranch in western Colorado
Did you borrow your dads shirt for the trip 🤪
You need to take pops on The Million Dollar Highway in Colorado
Thanks DogCoinBros but I already dropped Dad off in NJ and I'm off the coast of Sicily working. Maybe next time!?
@@markdwyer4667 Which one?
@@OliveOilandGasoline Yeaa absolutely anytime!! I’ll be in Barcelona and that area in December for a little work and some play.
Best Wishes and Kindest of thoughts to you and yours. Unfortunately, our health care system in the USA is absolute garbage. It's the #1 reason for bankruptcy filings - even among those who have 'good' health insurance, it's not the best in the world barring just a few 'niche' treatment areas, and the profiting off of suffering is neither Christian or Moral. We're the richest country the world has ever known and we, as a society, deserve better. That we're the only developed nation in the world that exploits our peoples suffering for profit is not how we should be - Right - Left - Center shouldn't matter. Quit buying the lies of for-profit care and/or the politicians whom they buy hook/line/sinker. God Bless.
Well said! Speaking for myself, I don't have time or emotional space to be angry any more, it's too late for us and we need to gamify what we can out of this corrupt system to take care of Dad. This shit hand that has been dealt to all Americans is evil to the core, there is no other word for it. Coupled with our terrible education system leads people to believe that we have the best healthcare in the world even though they've never even been to another country or it's hospitals. It's a scam and we're getting screwed every day of our lives.
However the fine folks that work in the system are incredible heros that need to be paid and respected more.
Boss, I like you work but with a family who needs assistance with the basics of daily living, it is simple, no fancy words suffice.
I understand that you have limitations in what you can do for your dad, on a daily basis. Health services should suffice at any level of care needed, surely this is a fundamental right and necessity in any developed country.
We all have the expectation and right to enter the end stage of life with dignity, comfort and respect. Sadly there is often bullshit, rubbish attention to this. I really don't like hearing your reference to "skilled nursing" which is particular bullshit. You are a skilled person, a reputable chef with quals and experience, that is what skilled means!
Re-naming nursing homes with "skilled nursing" means nothing if skilled nurses and associated health care disciplines are not available. This sounds to me more like aspirational dreams than realities imposed by economics and the need to profit.
I have experience, as a "skilled nurse". I will never end my days in a "skilled nursing" facility. Sorry but I prefer the truth and reality.
PowhiroMus! You said a lot there. Skilled Nursing used to be called a nursing home. Not much has changed I don't think. I know what you mean by the name, just to be a nurse means to be "skilled" it doesn''t make a difference that you use that word or not. I can't and won't grow old in America, not as it is now. You have no support there with an astonishingly over priced medical system that no one can afford without expensive "insurance". Greed and evil are winning in the richest country in the world.
Hmm, choose between California and New Jersey? Neither, they both are awful.
Well, the difference for us is, we can afford NJ and not CA.
At 0:34 that’s a 4Runner man. 😅
Hahaha what did I say?
@@OliveOilandGasoline Land Cruiser lol
@@theshyguitarist whoops! My bad! I don't own one.
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