Hot take on reparenting yourself

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[@marisapollock4703]

It sounds more like your parents were authori*tarian* and you're describing a desire for an authori*tative* influence which is generally considered the ideal parenting technique.

[@SuperHappyNotMerry]

since you're coming from an authoritarian home I can understand why the idea of "parenting" and a compassionate adult figure don't really mesh well in your mind but I think you're getting into the semantics of it a little too much. you're describing a big sister or a cool aunt but, honestly, from what you described, a lot of good, healthy parents are exactly like that. if you associate parenting with too much pain, I don't think you're wrong in reframing it to suit your needs. but I do think one eventual goal should be to come to terms with how a kind, compassionate adult parent figure should feel like.

[@hadassahm3016]

I think the fact that you grew up with authoritative parents who's ethos doesn't align with yours- to the point that associating yourself with them gives you the ick
... You're kind of proving the reparent point