Thank you to Carol, Martin, Katie and Deb for taking part in this episode. To learn more about Martin's work as an Embalmer, please visit this page: www.linkedin.com/in/martin-jeffrey-10962a23b To find out more about Katie's work as a Soul Midwife please visit her website: www.katiecsoulmidwife.com/
Really enjoyed this one could of listened to them all day ❤we are so lucky to have such wonderful people that take such pride in their jobs and make the last part of life for the people we love 😊
This reminds me of one of my favourite quotes: “I hope death is like being carried to your bedroom when you were a child and fell asleep on the couch during a family party. I hope you can hear the laughter from the next room.” - Lillies Unbounded It’s great knowing that there are people like this out there so dedicated to giving as much respect and peace as they can to those that pass.
I think it's important to note that as the family members of the loved ones who've passed, we have a right to help prepare them for death. You can ask the mortician who is working with your loved one if you can take part in helping wash them, help with their makeup or hair care, and help dress them. Some morticians will offer first.
@Musika321 Absolutely! I’d go even further to say, they actually may be even more important due to the fact that they deal with immense trauma and unbelievable stress/emotions that they will carry for the rest of their lives, and do it daily. Not only their own, but those who are grieving that they are trying to comfort and help. We owe these folks A TON! They should be paid much, much more than they are, and IMO far more than physicians.
Yes, agreed! I wonder if they still keep in contact, bc you don’t see these 4 everyday. All of them are very respectful of the deceased and their profession is not only hard, but needed at the hardest time in our lives
I WISH someone had told us that my Mum wasn't eating because she was dying. I knew she was nearing the end of her life, but knowing how close would have been able to help us so much. And we wouldn't have been desperately trying to feed her yoghurt just so she had some nutrients. Being prepared and understanding her laboured breathing and body changes would've made a huge difference too. What an incredible job these people do!
Same here but like you we tried to feed my Dad so he could take his medication as he had cancer but towards the end he was fed up with food and medication etc. I wish we knew before his death these guys are amazing 🙏
I really appreciate the death dula’s conversation about not eating a dying. My father lived with me until he died. We had hospice care. The nurse’s were so gentle about explaining what was happening. It was a giant relief to know things were progressing as they should. Thanks to all the people who do what you do!!!
My gran died of a metastasised cancer, it took her a long time to die, and she was in a lot of pain. Several times, to different doctors, she told them that if she was a dog, she’d of been to the vet a long time ago. I definitely advocate choice.
I agree, I don't understand why we can be more compassionate towards animals than humans. Recently I had to put the dog down after discovering an aggressive kind of cancer, we got 24 hours together. No point in my GSD suffering. If this was my daughter, I would have done the same thing, why would I want my daughter to suffer? I thought you can get some sort of court order in terminal cases to switch life support off?
@@tureq85 I think the person has to be proven to be both brain dead and unable to live without the machines, but if there is brain activity, even if it’s the brain screaming, I don’t think it’s allowed. You can have a DNR (do not resuscitate) order, in which medical intervention to keep you alive isn’t allowed.
Me too. I watched my father die from prostate cancer and it was awful as wonderful as the care team were. If I ever get a terminal illness when I start getting sick I'm going to Switzerland or do it myself. I don't want my kids to see me like that and I don't want to suffer when the end result is going to be the same.
@@Lizzie-h3j I have the exact same thought. I’m already on enough painkillers to drop a horse (really am, I have a major spinal problem) so I’ll just get really high, fall asleep, not wake up. There is no way on this planet I would make people who love me go through that. And they would understand, too. I’d have a massive party, then go.
What their children said about death is absolutely beautiful. I love that they clearly understand what death is and why it isn't such a horrible thing.
I have always had a deep appreciation for people I have come to call "death practitioners". It is heartwarming to see people like these four lovely individuals who seem to still be in touch with their humanity despite having been involved in end of life professions for so long. Thank you for all you do!
I had the gift of escorting both parents on their final march as they died on their own terms in our family home. They were so brave and grateful for their lives. It is truly an honor to be with the dying and/or dead. But it is also heartwrenching.❤
Thank you for helping them complete their lives the way they hoped ❤️🩹 My stepdad was on home hospice the last 2 weeks of his life, so I helped mom with his care. He was able to go peacefully. You're right, it is an honor and gift to be able to walk that last mile with someone. I felt "weird" thinking it in the moment, but wondered if it was anything like supporting someone during birth; both events being enormously significant and full of emotions, yet not your journey to take. (I've had a kid myself, but have never been a "3rd party" supporter).
These 4 people are absolutely incredible human beings with very unique talents, I love the round table series there’s so many fascinating stories that comes from the round table
These four are so professional, so empathetic, and so humble. Thank you to all four of you for what you do. And I agree- I think death is the start of another adventure.
My heart goes out to the lady who does make up for the deceased. My mum was in intensive care for two month before passing away. I will never forget going to hospital's morgue to confirm the transport to funeral's parlor, when my sister and I looked at my mum we were just stunned, she looked beautiful, I still remember her face & hair all done up. Poor morgue employee initially thought they brought the wrong body out based on our initial reaction!! Thanks to this person we decided to have a open casket funeral where everybody could see my mum looking beautiful and say goodbye.
This is one of the best round table discussions ever! They have so much to say and every single one of them has so much importance and impact on this plant. Just lots of love to all 4 of them! Great video!! Would love more JUST like this!
5:20 --"He stopped eating..." This point is so important-- when my father was dying there was a lot of discussion around feeding tubes,etc. Not even the social worker understood that we should leave him be. I only knew from my own extensive research. This can be so painful for families to understand as they feel they are giving up on their loved one. In reality, the kindest, most loving thing to do is to let them go. There is pain relief available, you can be their advocate for their comfort. 💖💖💖
I needed to see my parents as they where when they died. It helped me process their death. I did not realize this until not being able to see a loved one after they died. Thank you for all you do!
Biggest thing me and my friends have ever done is when our friend passed away and he had a 'Irish funeral' where a body is kept at home for 3 days before the funeral and his dad asked us to do his make up,as he would hate the way anyone else did it. We all joined together even though we were heartbroken but we did it,made him proud. Fair play to these people for everything they do ❤
21 mins! Totally agree! I nursed my Mum, 3wks from diagnosis to death - wanted her to look natural! Made sure everyone who needed to say goodbye did that when she was still alive! 3yrs before, also nursed my Nan. She look horrible when in rest! Despite photos & taking in her own make-up, they gave her modern make up, hair all wrong, painted her nails ( she never did that) faced filled to give her a fuller look! I vowed no way with my Mum! I spoke with the funeral directors. What could I do at home to prepare my Mum to keep her looking like herself? I held her when she died! Then, did her body washing, hair, nails & make up! Funeral directors did the minimum. I refused people seeing her in rest! They'd already had tea, chat & said goodbye! Put a memory book at the wake. Asked people to write happy memories between them & Mum! Also, made a memory box for my children to remember their Nanny! 25yrs later we still occasionally get it out & honour Mums memory!
Suicide is something that is difficult to understand unless you have been right there on the edge. When you want to take your life, you don't actually feel that your family will miss you. You feel that being alive is a burden on your family. These 4 amazing people are very special. ❤
I have such huge respect for these people. I worked in a church this summer, and we had a few funerals. Knowing how to meet and talk to people in that time of their life is such a difficult thing. They are experiencing possibly the worst time in their whole life, and you have to navigate that in a professional way. There is a fine line between everything you do seeming too uncaring or too unprofessional.
I’m a death doula and it has been my experience that folks who have signed up for medically assisted death often pass before the ‘date’. Seems to me they’ve accepted their death, almost welcomed it and the body/spirit decides to quicken the process. In these circumstances, it was much easier on the family.
As a nurse, now retired, my father in law asked me to care for him because he didn’t want to die in a hospital or nursing home. I was able to do this for him. I also cared for my mom after her stroke. They both died at home with family around them. It was a rewarding experience.
Thank you! I love this conversation! Everyone benefits from discussing death, we only hurt ourselves and those around us by avoiding the topic. I am so thankful to have been raised by parents who treated death as a natural part of life and not something to be afraid of, it greatly affected me as a person and has lead to my greatest passion and a career that I love supporting grievers and educating people about grief and loss.
I am glad, and grateful beyond description, that Martin doesn't know what could possibly make somebody suicidal. I'm grateful beyond description for all of you who also don't know, and I hope you never, ever have to know. The more people in this world who never have to know how it feels, the better.
I've had a lot of funerals in my life, old and young people, and I had to arrange some funerals almost by myself and it was so good to have these professionals there who just knew exactly what to do. The funeral director we had for my grandmother and my mother were just amazing. He knew exactly what to do and he understood that we dealt with grief by sometimes making a joke and such. It was very fulfilling working with him.
Honestly I only clicked on this video because I wanted to see if I could match the professions to the people from the thumbnail, I ended up watching the entire thing. What a facinating look at death and the people that deal with death in different capacities, and these 4 specifically are so engaging and honest. Amazing video
What amazing professionals. The care & compassion they all have for their charges is so moving & reassuring. I can only imagine with all those many years of experience just how many people's lives they have impacted in a meaningful & important way.
Beautiful Katie…. Lovely to see you sitting up there. You are as articulate, passionate and elegant as always!! You’re an amazing soul midwife/death doula and anyone would be fortunate to have you hold their hand through the dying process. Don’t forget I’ve booked you first before anyone jumps on the bandwagon 😉 xx Love Dawny x
This is an amazing video. I do want to speak a bit on "why suicide" as someone that has been suicidal with morbid curiosities in death etc. The way I saw it is that "yes, all of these people would be sad, but they couldn't be bothered to care when I lived." Which, to me, isn't love nor care. And I don't necessarily see people showing up to a funeral as proving that thesis wrong. To me, love is more than just knowing about someone. I know my dad and brother would be sad over my death for the rest of their lives, but that is because those were the people that genuinely cared during my life. But that friend I made that hasn't responded to texts for years? sure they may be sad, but that's hardly anything tangible when they can't be bothered in life. The other thing about "why suicide" I want to mention is, atleast for me, it came from a place of severe loneliness (in more ways than just "i have no friends") and an inability to cope with that crushing weight. Hell, I still get angry and flustered and the like when someone starts talking either about or with my triggers. But at my worst, when people triggered that it just further enshrined this idea of "you are not meant for this world, none of these people care, they are lying, and they betrayed me." And honestly, I still sort of feel that way. I'm just more capable of pushing it to the side and trying to ease my pain, even if it is terribly isolated.
currently in the works of getting into mortuary school, but last november my uncle had hung himself and getting to see him one last time where he looked genuinely at peace for the first time in his life was so just indescribable. truly what these people do is changing lives and helping people in ways so many others can’t understand and i can’t thank these people enough
Truly a most valuable dialogue to listen to. I feel such gratitude to all these people in service to humanity itself, and the human beings they help. Invaluable to our society today, so focused on performance and aquisition, there's no room for preparing people for death, and it's swept away, under the carpet, out of sight and mind, until it happens. And it does. To everyone. Eventually. And so many today, face it alone. The grief, fear, rage, guilt, regrets, pain, the unanswered questions, unknown territory for most people. Death whilst being the most mystical transformation of all living existance, is also so very tangible, physical irretractable. All of these wonderful people do such incredibly important work. Listening to their profound insights and respect for human life and passing has been a great privilege. Thank you! ❤🙏
So sorry for Carol's loss of her husband. Not everyone needs to be embalmed, it depends on how long it is from death to funeral. In some countries it's not such a long time as in the uk
This was a beautiful cathartic video. I agree that we, as a society don’t deal well with death at all. I admire the people who help us through this aspect of life, because it is traumatic and painful. 💗
As someone who did social work for over 15 years and grew up in a family of morticians and funeral directors, these individuals are absolutely correct in their statement about how taboo the subject death is in the western world. Death is not a secret. It’s the thing that we all have in common. I was there when my grandmothers, my godmother and my father passed away: for my grandmothers and my godmother, death came as a relief after years of dialysis and chemotherapy and surgery after surgery. Their deaths were peaceful and beautiful. My father had a massive heart attack and was dead before he hit the floor. It was completely unexpected and I was not prepared. Not by a long shot. It’s been a little over a year and my grief is still tearing me apart. But I am glad I was there. Death eclipses everything, death is the great equalizer and the most profound moment of a life. Thank you to these very special people who treat the dead with respect, compassion and kindness.
Even as a carer I’ve had the privilidge to help families with a loved one passing away.I have washed and dressed two ladies just after they’ve died.I held it together until I could have a little cry as I find it emotional buti can be professional when it matters.These people are marvellous.x
This is amazing. Thank you all for sharing your knowledge. More people need to be aware of death, it should not be a scary thing. It’s always going to be hard if it’s someone close but I think death needs to be an open discussion that includes children so there isn’t a fear of the unknown.
They all have difficult jobs. What struck me is the forensic investigator who talked about being in work mode and compartmentalizing the events. Having worked a similar career, that's how we survive. The problems begin once your work is done and reality has a chance to haunt you. They are literally giving away tiny pieces of their soul to help others who are experiencing the worst time in their life.
My mom passed eight years ago, and she remembered an uncle passing, and her mother and aunt cleaning the body and dressing him on the kitchen table for a home viewing later that night. This was in Cambridge, Massachusetts in about 1933, and all of the adults had immigrated from Ireland to the US. We certainly have become very separated from the dying and death process. I also follow HOSPICE NURSE JULIE here on TH-cam who explains everything about death and dying.
I have a lot of respect for these people, and as someone who works in the funeral industry I tell my kids the same thing, daddy helps people go to heaven
I'm 64 and I remember going to a lot of funerals as a child. It was very hard when my grandfather died when I was 10, but it was a chance to be with all my cousins who I didn't see very often also. That's a child's view of funerals, on some level it was sad, but there was playtime also because these were big funerals. They waked my grandfather for 2 and a half days because he was such a popular figure in the community, and now they do everything in one day. I wasn't affected one way or the other, and people shielding children from this forget that kids are on their own wavelength and can handle quite a lot. We kept my mother at home and were all present when she passed and it was a beautiful thing because she had suffered with cancer on and off for years, and that suffering was over side note, the Mortician who picked Momma up, was the younger brother of her friend whose house she would visit often. They lived in the funeral home which the younger brother took over. So he knew Momma personally and assured me he was taking her home one last time. Wonderful out outcome for a very sad time, he was absolutely lovely. He and his sister both came to her funeral and I had the chance to chat with them and talk about Momma when she was a little girl. Just wonderful.. Thank you to all the people out there who help us deal with a very sad time in our lives.
My mom died from Cancer in March 2023. Super sudden, came out of no where, she died before her biopsy came back. One of the people who helped the most was the woman who owned the funeral home. You wouldnt think that you could meet with someone to discuss cremation and death certificates and be laughing so hard your sides hurt. I think one of the biggest casualties of death being taboo is the loss of laughter. Even while mom was lying in her hospital bed she was cracking zingers and we just laughed and laughed. We laughed as hard as we needed to cry. Thank you to all the people who not only protect the sanctity of death and dying, but also preserve the humour
Losing my mother at 21,and people in my family before and after,I don’t fear death,Death is something we all must do,I only question why so many young people/infants must go before someone like myself that has lived 35 years…Life is so cruel and short unfortunately.
The thing that is frustrating about after someone takes their life is that only then do people show they care. Why not during?? Prevent it from happening in the first place.
I worked so hard for a long time against a manager with no compassion. My life is all about the family left after tragedy. Forensic details are paramount to ground information for the family of the deceased. Without the autopsy, the basic family knowledge would never be enough to understand life and death in a basic biological basis.
I know Carol will never see this, but the man you spoke about that killed the little boy, he got life, but with a minimum of 20 years. And he’s up for parole! His own father has said how he thinks this monster should never get out. He was in jail I believe when they found out he killed the little boy. So awful! I can’t find anything saying if he got parole or not. But I pray he didn’t. Because his father seems to think he was locked up with the killer of the other murder you spoke about. And someone else that was a child molester. Such an awful waste of a human. I can’t believe it’s been so long since that little boys death. He would be 28/29 now.
My first experience with death was kind of scary, I'm a carer and was asked to sit with someone who was dying so they never died alone. Before she died she was gasping then shouted whilst reaching up and looking to the ceiling saying "don't leave me don't leave me," so I took her hand and said "I'm always here for you then her hand went cold and we had a powercut. I was told to phone the nurse to tell her when something happened but had to find the fuse box first. Luckily she came as I looked at the fuse box outside. Anyway we laid her out the nurse said she had a heart attack. As we walked out of the room I heard a gasp and I looked back excited thinking we had got it wrong I told the nurse. She said you've not had experience with death before thats just gases escaping she is dead. That broke me 💔 we laid her out again and waited for the doctor and undertakers 😢 I was naive then but more about not wanting to accept a client died whilst I was there and not being able to do anything.
This is a great video, and I'd like to throw in a comment based on my own experience of suicide. The narrative is often around the person who's died not having had someone to talk to, or feeling that they are a burden. For me, it was about suffering, and I wish people could see the parallel between mental and physical pain and give mental suffering the same respect. You don't want someone who has cancer to suffer, the pain is terrible for their loved ones to experience. When you are so depressed that you attempt or do, take your life, you just want your suffering to end. I didn't feel a burden at all. It wasn't about anyone else. I just wanted the years of pain to end. I hope this helps people perhaps to understand why.
I wish someone would have gone through the steps of dying with me. They handed us a small pamphlet and expected us to read. I was so nervous, upset, and just out of it that I didn't want to read it. But I'm traumatized from not knowing the steps, wondering if I interacted enough with my dad on his last day.
My late mother was a Nurse and I wanted too become one also, so I knew the signs and understood what was coming, but my family didn't and they had insisted they wanted her with them. I still wanted too be there for her, but I couldn't be there at the end.
Thank you to Carol, Martin, Katie and Deb for taking part in this episode.
To learn more about Martin's work as an Embalmer, please visit this page:
www.linkedin.com/in/martin-jeffrey-10962a23b
To find out more about Katie's work as a Soul Midwife please visit her website:
www.katiecsoulmidwife.com/
Really enjoyed this one could of listened to them all day ❤we are so lucky to have such wonderful people that take such pride in their jobs and make the last part of life for the people we love 😊
@@SharonODriscolljust 19:46 in … very impressive work ❤ and admirable professions 💜
This reminds me of one of my favourite quotes: “I hope death is like being carried to your bedroom when you were a child and fell asleep on the couch during a family party. I hope you can hear the laughter from the next room.” - Lillies Unbounded
It’s great knowing that there are people like this out there so dedicated to giving as much respect and peace as they can to those that pass.
That poem is lovely, such a comforting idea ❤
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that's an amazing and beautiful analogy. How comforting that would be...growing up in the 70s, I know that feeling well. ❤
@ironmaven1760 70s kid here, too.
@chrissemenko628 lol we had the absolute best childhood and teen years imo...lots of freedom and no internet!☮️😅
Society owes a great debt to these wonderful people. They are as important as those who bring us into this world.
I think it's important to note that as the family members of the loved ones who've passed, we have a right to help prepare them for death.
You can ask the mortician who is working with your loved one if you can take part in helping wash them, help with their makeup or hair care, and help dress them.
Some morticians will offer first.
@Musika321 Absolutely! I’d go even further to say, they actually may be even more important due to the fact that they deal with immense trauma and unbelievable stress/emotions that they will carry for the rest of their lives, and do it daily. Not only their own, but those who are grieving that they are trying to comfort and help. We owe these folks A TON! They should be paid much, much more than they are, and IMO far more than physicians.
@Bryn_G_Mama_of_3 good point
Ok... These 4 need to do more episodes together! They all had an amazing energy and made everything so interesting.
Yes, agreed! I wonder if they still keep in contact, bc you don’t see these 4 everyday. All of them are very respectful of the deceased and their profession is not only hard, but needed at the hardest time in our lives
“I get people ready to go to heaven” that had me sobbing. What wonderful people and I commend the work you all do
I WISH someone had told us that my Mum wasn't eating because she was dying. I knew she was nearing the end of her life, but knowing how close would have been able to help us so much. And we wouldn't have been desperately trying to feed her yoghurt just so she had some nutrients. Being prepared and understanding her laboured breathing and body changes would've made a huge difference too. What an incredible job these people do!
Same here but like you we tried to feed my Dad so he could take his medication as he had cancer but towards the end he was fed up with food and medication etc. I wish we knew before his death these guys are amazing 🙏
Big hugs to you both 💝
I LOVE the respect in this conversation. Every person on this round table wants to comfort the family in any way they can. Thank you, all!
I really appreciate the death dula’s conversation about not eating a dying. My father lived with me until he died. We had hospice care. The nurse’s were so gentle about explaining what was happening. It was a giant relief to know things were progressing as they should. Thanks to all the people who do what you do!!!
Huge respect to all of these people for their professionalism and empathy for how they do their job
My gran died of a metastasised cancer, it took her a long time to die, and she was in a lot of pain. Several times, to different doctors, she told them that if she was a dog, she’d of been to the vet a long time ago. I definitely advocate choice.
I agree, I don't understand why we can be more compassionate towards animals than humans. Recently I had to put the dog down after discovering an aggressive kind of cancer, we got 24 hours together. No point in my GSD suffering. If this was my daughter, I would have done the same thing, why would I want my daughter to suffer? I thought you can get some sort of court order in terminal cases to switch life support off?
@@tureq85 I think the person has to be proven to be both brain dead and unable to live without the machines, but if there is brain activity, even if it’s the brain screaming, I don’t think it’s allowed. You can have a DNR (do not resuscitate) order, in which medical intervention to keep you alive isn’t allowed.
Me too. I watched my father die from prostate cancer and it was awful as wonderful as the care team were. If I ever get a terminal illness when I start getting sick I'm going to Switzerland or do it myself. I don't want my kids to see me like that and I don't want to suffer when the end result is going to be the same.
@@Lizzie-h3j I have the exact same thought. I’m already on enough painkillers to drop a horse (really am, I have a major spinal problem) so I’ll just get really high, fall asleep, not wake up.
There is no way on this planet I would make people who love me go through that. And they would understand, too. I’d have a massive party, then go.
I appreciate hearing the different stories I'm currently enrolling in school to become a Mortician. I'm excited to start helping people
I would like to do that, I even did work experience at a funeral home when I was 18. I never see Mortician job vacancies though here in the uk 😕
I don't fear death I am 71 now and don't think death is something to fear it's just part of life
Great content ! As a nurse I have experienced many things that were talked about. Death need not be scary.
Excellent Splendid Bloody Brilliant 😊🕊️💜 22:04
What their children said about death is absolutely beautiful. I love that they clearly understand what death is and why it isn't such a horrible thing.
I have always had a deep appreciation for people I have come to call "death practitioners". It is heartwarming to see people like these four lovely individuals who seem to still be in touch with their humanity despite having been involved in end of life professions for so long. Thank you for all you do!
I had the gift of escorting both parents on their final march as they died on their own terms in our family home. They were so brave and grateful for their lives. It is truly an honor to be with the dying and/or dead. But it is also heartwrenching.❤
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Thank you for helping them complete their lives the way they hoped ❤️🩹
My stepdad was on home hospice the last 2 weeks of his life, so I helped mom with his care. He was able to go peacefully. You're right, it is an honor and gift to be able to walk that last mile with someone. I felt "weird" thinking it in the moment, but wondered if it was anything like supporting someone during birth; both events being enormously significant and full of emotions, yet not your journey to take. (I've had a kid myself, but have never been a "3rd party" supporter).
These 4 people are absolutely incredible human beings with very unique talents, I love the round table series there’s so many fascinating stories that comes from the round table
Agreed! Very interesting Ave I wonder if these people form relationships or stay connected after their round table.
These four are so professional, so empathetic, and so humble. Thank you to all four of you for what you do.
And I agree- I think death is the start of another adventure.
My heart goes out to the lady who does make up for the deceased. My mum was in intensive care for two month before passing away. I will never forget going to hospital's morgue to confirm the transport to funeral's parlor, when my sister and I looked at my mum we were just stunned, she looked beautiful, I still remember her face & hair all done up. Poor morgue employee initially thought they brought the wrong body out based on our initial reaction!!
Thanks to this person we decided to have a open casket funeral where everybody could see my mum looking beautiful and say goodbye.
What an incredible bunch of people. I have so much respect for them ❤
This is one of the best round table discussions ever! They have so much to say and every single one of them has so much importance and impact on this plant. Just lots of love to all 4 of them! Great video!! Would love more JUST like this!
Thank you for all your professionalism, kindness and skills.
The way the Scottish say ‘murder’ is beautiful
5:20 --"He stopped eating..." This point is so important-- when my father was dying there was a lot of discussion around feeding tubes,etc. Not even the social worker understood that we should leave him be. I only knew from my own extensive research. This can be so painful for families to understand as they feel they are giving up on their loved one. In reality, the kindest, most loving thing to do is to let them go. There is pain relief available, you can be their advocate for their comfort. 💖💖💖
I needed to see my parents as they where when they died. It helped me process their death. I did not realize this until not being able to see a loved one after they died. Thank you for all you do!
As someone who works in aged care this was fascinating and wonderful to watch. I love helping people in their final years, months and then days. ❤
Fantastic people. Absolute admiration for them all.
Biggest thing me and my friends have ever done is when our friend passed away and he had a 'Irish funeral' where a body is kept at home for 3 days before the funeral and his dad asked us to do his make up,as he would hate the way anyone else did it. We all joined together even though we were heartbroken but we did it,made him proud. Fair play to these people for everything they do ❤
21 mins! Totally agree! I nursed my Mum, 3wks from diagnosis to death - wanted her to look natural! Made sure everyone who needed to say goodbye did that when she was still alive! 3yrs before, also nursed my Nan. She look horrible when in rest! Despite photos & taking in her own make-up, they gave her modern make up, hair all wrong, painted her nails ( she never did that) faced filled to give her a fuller look! I vowed no way with my Mum! I spoke with the funeral directors. What could I do at home to prepare my Mum to keep her looking like herself? I held her when she died! Then, did her body washing, hair, nails & make up! Funeral directors did the minimum. I refused people seeing her in rest! They'd already had tea, chat & said goodbye! Put a memory book at the wake. Asked people to write happy memories between them & Mum! Also, made a memory box for my children to remember their Nanny! 25yrs later we still occasionally get it out & honour Mums memory!
So appreciative of the discussion and to feel the compassion from everyone is comforting.
Thank you all for what you do!❤
LadBible did great with bringing these four people together, Im hoping for more from them!
Suicide is something that is difficult to understand unless you have been right there on the edge. When you want to take your life, you don't actually feel that your family will miss you. You feel that being alive is a burden on your family. These 4 amazing people are very special. ❤
im in tears watching this, such strong people, angels just like our doctors and nurses xx
PLEASE give these 4 a series, theyre so incredible.
This was a real eye opener, upmost respect to all in this video
I have such huge respect for these people. I worked in a church this summer, and we had a few funerals. Knowing how to meet and talk to people in that time of their life is such a difficult thing. They are experiencing possibly the worst time in their whole life, and you have to navigate that in a professional way. There is a fine line between everything you do seeming too uncaring or too unprofessional.
Fascinating conversation. Would've liked to hear a little more from the lady who did makeup side of things. Thanks all 4 of you ❤
I’m a death doula and it has been my experience that folks who have signed up for medically assisted death often pass before the ‘date’. Seems to me they’ve accepted their death, almost welcomed it and the body/spirit decides to quicken the process. In these circumstances, it was much easier on the family.
As a nurse, now retired, my father in law asked me to care for him because he didn’t want to die in a hospital or nursing home. I was able to do this for him. I also cared for my mom after her stroke. They both died at home with family around them. It was a rewarding experience.
Thank you! I love this conversation! Everyone benefits from discussing death, we only hurt ourselves and those around us by avoiding the topic. I am so thankful to have been raised by parents who treated death as a natural part of life and not something to be afraid of, it greatly affected me as a person and has lead to my greatest passion and a career that I love supporting grievers and educating people about grief and loss.
I am glad, and grateful beyond description, that Martin doesn't know what could possibly make somebody suicidal. I'm grateful beyond description for all of you who also don't know, and I hope you never, ever have to know. The more people in this world who never have to know how it feels, the better.
Agreed. It's not a feeling you'd wish on anyone.
I've had a lot of funerals in my life, old and young people, and I had to arrange some funerals almost by myself and it was so good to have these professionals there who just knew exactly what to do. The funeral director we had for my grandmother and my mother were just amazing. He knew exactly what to do and he understood that we dealt with grief by sometimes making a joke and such. It was very fulfilling working with him.
Honestly I only clicked on this video because I wanted to see if I could match the professions to the people from the thumbnail, I ended up watching the entire thing. What a facinating look at death and the people that deal with death in different capacities, and these 4 specifically are so engaging and honest. Amazing video
What amazing professionals. The care & compassion they all have for their charges is so moving & reassuring. I can only imagine with all those many years of experience just how many people's lives they have impacted in a meaningful & important way.
Massive respect to you wonderful people. I hope life treat's you as good as you’ve treated the people and families affected 💙🙏
Beautiful Katie…. Lovely to see you sitting up there.
You are as articulate, passionate and elegant as always!!
You’re an amazing soul midwife/death doula and anyone would be fortunate to have you hold their hand through the dying process.
Don’t forget I’ve booked you first before anyone jumps on the bandwagon 😉 xx
Love Dawny x
Yuck. She’s ANNOYING
Remarkable people who do a job most people would recoil from. Kudos to you all, thank you
I was not able to view my dad after he was murdered and i can assure you, not having that final goodbye is absolutely DEVASTATING. 💔
This is an amazing video.
I do want to speak a bit on "why suicide" as someone that has been suicidal with morbid curiosities in death etc.
The way I saw it is that "yes, all of these people would be sad, but they couldn't be bothered to care when I lived." Which, to me, isn't love nor care. And I don't necessarily see people showing up to a funeral as proving that thesis wrong.
To me, love is more than just knowing about someone. I know my dad and brother would be sad over my death for the rest of their lives, but that is because those were the people that genuinely cared during my life. But that friend I made that hasn't responded to texts for years? sure they may be sad, but that's hardly anything tangible when they can't be bothered in life.
The other thing about "why suicide" I want to mention is, atleast for me, it came from a place of severe loneliness (in more ways than just "i have no friends") and an inability to cope with that crushing weight. Hell, I still get angry and flustered and the like when someone starts talking either about or with my triggers. But at my worst, when people triggered that it just further enshrined this idea of "you are not meant for this world, none of these people care, they are lying, and they betrayed me."
And honestly, I still sort of feel that way. I'm just more capable of pushing it to the side and trying to ease my pain, even if it is terribly isolated.
Prayers that you find peace🙏🏾 ❤
AMAZING episode! I just can’t put it into words….❤
currently in the works of getting into mortuary school, but last november my uncle had hung himself and getting to see him one last time where he looked genuinely at peace for the first time in his life was so just indescribable. truly what these people do is changing lives and helping people in ways so many others can’t understand and i can’t thank these people enough
All four of you... thank you xxx
Truly a most valuable dialogue to listen to. I feel such gratitude to all these people in service to humanity itself, and the human beings they help.
Invaluable to our society today, so focused on performance and aquisition, there's no room for preparing people for death, and it's swept away, under the carpet, out of sight and mind, until it happens. And it does. To everyone. Eventually. And so many today, face it alone. The grief, fear, rage, guilt, regrets, pain, the unanswered questions, unknown territory for most people.
Death whilst being the most mystical transformation of all living existance, is also so very tangible, physical irretractable. All of these wonderful people do such incredibly important work. Listening to their profound insights and respect for human life and passing has been a great privilege. Thank you! ❤🙏
These amazing people are doing such a wonderful and important job ❤
These people are amazing and we can only hope that when our end comes in whatever circumstance, that we are taken care of by professionals like these❤
So sorry for Carol's loss of her husband.
Not everyone needs to be embalmed, it depends on how long it is from death to funeral. In some countries it's not such a long time as in the uk
All incredibly skilled people in their own ways. Really interesting interview-thank you.
This was a beautiful cathartic video. I agree that we, as a society don’t deal well with death at all. I admire the people who help us through this aspect of life, because it is traumatic and painful. 💗
As someone who did social work for over 15 years and grew up in a family of morticians and funeral directors, these individuals are absolutely correct in their statement about how taboo the subject death is in the western world. Death is not a secret. It’s the thing that we all have in common. I was there when my grandmothers, my godmother and my father passed away: for my grandmothers and my godmother, death came as a relief after years of dialysis and chemotherapy and surgery after surgery. Their deaths were peaceful and beautiful. My father had a massive heart attack and was dead before he hit the floor. It was completely unexpected and I was not prepared. Not by a long shot. It’s been a little over a year and my grief is still tearing me apart. But I am glad I was there. Death eclipses everything, death is the great equalizer and the most profound moment of a life. Thank you to these very special people who treat the dead with respect, compassion and kindness.
What an amazing group of people!
Even as a carer I’ve had the privilidge to help families with a loved one passing away.I have washed and dressed two ladies just after they’ve died.I held it together until I could have a little cry as I find it emotional buti can be professional when it matters.These people are marvellous.x
This is amazing. Thank you all for sharing your knowledge. More people need to be aware of death, it should not be a scary thing. It’s always going to be hard if it’s someone close but I think death needs to be an open discussion that includes children so there isn’t a fear of the unknown.
Incredible conversation, more of this please! :)
Thank you for this wonderful people ❤.
As a Mexican we are used to death, celebrating death, we are used to funerals but when it happens to your immediate family it’s different.
This was absolutely fabulous! Very informative. Would love to see more like this!
This is soooo my vibe, but even better is having the death doula cause that’s super fascinating to me! Thank you ladBible and everyone else ❤
incredible work incredible people thank ye all
They all have difficult jobs. What struck me is the forensic investigator who talked about being in work mode and compartmentalizing the events. Having worked a similar career, that's how we survive. The problems begin once your work
is done and reality has a chance to haunt you. They are literally giving away tiny pieces of their soul to help others who are experiencing the worst time in their life.
My mom passed eight years ago, and she remembered an uncle passing, and her mother and aunt cleaning the body and dressing him on the kitchen table for a home viewing later that night. This was in Cambridge, Massachusetts in about 1933, and all of the adults had immigrated from Ireland to the US. We certainly have become very separated from the dying and death process. I also follow HOSPICE NURSE JULIE here on TH-cam who explains everything about death and dying.
A powerful, compelling, and much needed conversation. Deepest respect and thanx to all 🫶🇦🇺❤️
This was so good to watch, thank you 🙏🏻
A really interesting group of important people.
I believe each of these people are gifted and have answered a calling.
Beautiful video
The mortician looks so cool!
❤ Thank You 🙏🏽 Thank You 🌟 Thank You ❤ Much Respect And Appreciation From New Zealand ❤️
I have a lot of respect for these people, and as someone who works in the funeral industry I tell my kids the same thing, daddy helps people go to heaven
17:06 started watching simply because of the Title … Not what I was expecting 😊 18:08 I c 19:19
Very interesting!
strangely fascinating ,death comes to all of us and i feel my sister soul a day before she passed, cancer left her unrecognisable
I'm 64 and I remember going to a lot of funerals as a child. It was very hard when my grandfather died when I was 10, but it was a chance to be with all my cousins who I didn't see very often also. That's a child's view of funerals, on some level it was sad, but there was playtime also because these were big funerals. They waked my grandfather for 2 and a half days because he was such a popular figure in the community, and now they do everything in one day. I wasn't affected one way or the other, and people shielding children from this forget that kids are on their own wavelength and can handle quite a lot. We kept my mother at home and were all present when she passed and it was a beautiful thing because she had suffered with cancer on and off for years, and that suffering was over side note, the Mortician who picked Momma up, was the younger brother of her friend whose house she would visit often. They lived in the funeral home which the younger brother took over. So he knew Momma personally and assured me he was taking her home one last time. Wonderful out outcome for a very sad time, he was absolutely lovely. He and his sister both came to her funeral and I had the chance to chat with them and talk about Momma when she was a little girl. Just wonderful.. Thank you to all the people out there who help us deal with a very sad time in our lives.
That doula can’t half talk, everyone else canna get a word in edgeways 😂
I was thinking the same thing 😂
That’s honestly a common thing I’ve noticed with doulas of multiple types 😅 their whole job is communication so I guess they often are chatty people
She is so annoying!! And rude!
My mom died from Cancer in March 2023. Super sudden, came out of no where, she died before her biopsy came back.
One of the people who helped the most was the woman who owned the funeral home. You wouldnt think that you could meet with someone to discuss cremation and death certificates and be laughing so hard your sides hurt. I think one of the biggest casualties of death being taboo is the loss of laughter. Even while mom was lying in her hospital bed she was cracking zingers and we just laughed and laughed. We laughed as hard as we needed to cry.
Thank you to all the people who not only protect the sanctity of death and dying, but also preserve the humour
Losing my mother at 21,and people in my family before and after,I don’t fear death,Death is something we all must do,I only question why so many young people/infants must go before someone like myself that has lived 35 years…Life is so cruel and short unfortunately.
He’s so sweet!
That bin chute case I’ve watched a documentary on. Truly horrific
The thing that is frustrating about after someone takes their life is that only then do people show they care. Why not during?? Prevent it from happening in the first place.
I worked so hard for a long time against a manager with no compassion. My life is all about the family left after tragedy. Forensic details are paramount to ground information for the family of the deceased. Without the autopsy, the basic family knowledge would never be enough to understand life and death in a basic biological basis.
I know Carol will never see this, but the man you spoke about that killed the little boy, he got life, but with a minimum of 20 years. And he’s up for parole! His own father has said how he thinks this monster should never get out. He was in jail I believe when they found out he killed the little boy. So awful! I can’t find anything saying if he got parole or not. But I pray he didn’t. Because his father seems to think he was locked up with the killer of the other murder you spoke about. And someone else that was a child molester. Such an awful waste of a human. I can’t believe it’s been so long since that little boys death. He would be 28/29 now.
My first experience with death was kind of scary, I'm a carer and was asked to sit with someone who was dying so they never died alone. Before she died she was gasping then shouted whilst reaching up and looking to the ceiling saying "don't leave me don't leave me," so I took her hand and said "I'm always here for you then her hand went cold and we had a powercut. I was told to phone the nurse to tell her when something happened but had to find the fuse box first. Luckily she came as I looked at the fuse box outside. Anyway we laid her out the nurse said she had a heart attack. As we walked out of the room I heard a gasp and I looked back excited thinking we had got it wrong I told the nurse. She said you've not had experience with death before thats just gases escaping she is dead. That broke me 💔 we laid her out again and waited for the doctor and undertakers 😢 I was naive then but more about not wanting to accept a client died whilst I was there and not being able to do anything.
Thank you for sharing, as a nurse myself, thank you for staying with her, that’s beautiful of you to do while so young. ❤
@@lauren_WIit was a pleasure even tho it was hard, knowing that I could be there for company and if she needed anything. ❤
This was golden
Having a dinner party with that lot would be fascinating and informative.
Amazing people
I need Ask a Mortician to react to this video DESPERATELY
This is a great video, and I'd like to throw in a comment based on my own experience of suicide. The narrative is often around the person who's died not having had someone to talk to, or feeling that they are a burden. For me, it was about suffering, and I wish people could see the parallel between mental and physical pain and give mental suffering the same respect. You don't want someone who has cancer to suffer, the pain is terrible for their loved ones to experience. When you are so depressed that you attempt or do, take your life, you just want your suffering to end. I didn't feel a burden at all. It wasn't about anyone else. I just wanted the years of pain to end. I hope this helps people perhaps to understand why.
I wish someone would have gone through the steps of dying with me. They handed us a small pamphlet and expected us to read. I was so nervous, upset, and just out of it that I didn't want to read it. But I'm traumatized from not knowing the steps, wondering if I interacted enough with my dad on his last day.
Don’t forget about the mediums. They’re a voice for those that die. And some of them do pretty amazing things to help humanity with their abilities.
I hate how that the makeup artist was constantly overtalked by the embalmer
Death is hard, but alot of times its a blessing so ppl dont suffer :)
My late mother was a Nurse and I wanted too become one also, so I knew the signs and understood what was coming, but my family didn't and they had insisted they wanted her with them.
I still wanted too be there for her, but I couldn't be there at the end.