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- เผยแพร่เมื่อ 11 ก.ย. 2024
- I dont want to make this a pity party..but just bring awareness i guess? idk..not to sound pretentious like ive been through it all. so this is an old vid ive made when it was summer time(favorite season for me) and having no one in my life. being a codependent dealing with loneliness and depression is hell. i just wanted to share this as a reminder for others that youre not alone. Im in a better place now, but i do deal with this state of being sometimes. I have dealt with greatly and still sort of do now a days with unrequited love..this suffering makes life long. I dont want to be fully negative, but just being honest here and express these moments where YOURE NOT DOING OK. I dont share this so others can feel sorry for me, i just share this so others are aware that they arent alone with these undesirable state of beings. I dont consider myself an incel anymore nor deal with the loneliness ive dealt with...but it comes back to haunt me sometimes..this state. And feeling of being. I dont know how else to say it but I hope i expressed myself well and also clarify the assumptions that many make that gay men get easy sex. one, life isnt always about sex and two, not all gay men get easy sex. anyways just rambling now i just wanted to share this x
#codependent #codependency #libramale #libra #hopelessromantic #asexualromantic #incel #gayincel
You are sooo cute 🥺 I think for many of us it can be difficult to deal with various forms of depression. However, one thing I heard recently is that out of all conditions, depression is the only one which we can't heal from alone. We can't get rid of depression on our own, so it's always better to try and talk to someone.
Indeed had plenty of therapy but in the end healed myself from depression. There is more to life than you think. Gay does not define who or what you are . They are not a community. You are way more multi faceted. Im 72 and stopped dating 35 yrs ago and got into life, hobbies, family, friends of all stripes, dogs , art. gardening, etc, working real hard. I still wish there was a special guy in my world especially at night, not for sex, but companionship. Discover who you really are and find joy. I wish I could talk to you. Hugs and best to you
As an LGBT living in one of the most homophobic countries in Latin America , I learned at the age of 38 that solitude , nature, silence and my hobbies are what makes me truly happy . I hope YOU find whatever makes YOU happy.
Most people can't live alone.
I'm growing into the same conclusion. The country I live in has no discrimination in law, but homosexuality is not accepted.
I'm 31 virgin. Although I've never experience Homophobia, as my country is Buddhist. Long story short, it's not a sin. So, no one has never put me down for liking men. I agree with you that having a hobby is important. Mine's Videogame. Have been playing since I was 6, never stopped, never will.
@@TheBodiesInTheWaterBeckonsalso you, if it doesn't bother you
Depression is an illness. We sufferers need to stick together. I love you
You need to get treatment! Getting on the right antidepressant helped me a lot.
In many cases and (maybe yours might be one of them) antidepressants don't help. You just need your immediate reality to change, to become a beneficial one to you (which you can't do just on your own). You DO NEED to actually meet/get to know like-minded people (BUT in the real world, not in social nets). That's why fb/YT groups rarely help in cases like yours. We're always too far apart. To fix this loneliness, dialogue and the presence of potential friends is both desirable and credible. Not the usual inefficient proven sequence of 'listening to monologues and later commenting'. Online communication also fails to help because online deprives one of the so much needed presential support. Sadly noone ever seems to be questioning this and we all keep insisting in the same doomed approach. It's then easy to ignore that for many, loneliness derives not by choice but instead by circumstances one has no control of. Most 'healers' ignore that for those people (the ones suffering loneliness they didn't chose), Solitude and Loneliness are only two names for the same state of mind. They're just no apparent way out. What a disconcerting silent pain...
You don't need medicines which in most cases only dodge your reality and end up by not really helping whatsoever, if not even creating some form of addiction. Beware: don't waste yourself away in guilt. Your problem is not within you. It lies in your immediate external environment. That's why we need to stick together.... MOST PREFERABLY in the real world in real time!
Do Not Give Up, Do Not Stop Believing in yourself. Do Not Hide Yourself. REACH OUT !!!
I feel for You, I really Do. ❤🤗😘
❤❤❤ I wish I could hug you and spend time with you. I never thought I'd encounter someone I could relate so much to. I would not describe myself as an incel but... I know what its like to have gone through my entire life never having been loved for who I am.
You are not alone, handsome.
ditto hugs :)
@@Uranianth read Eckhart Tolle. The power of now accompanied by the book practicing the power of now. As well as stillness speaks…. Then a new earth. Really practice what he tells you. Trust me… you won’t regret it.
The fact that you are alone will make it easier to focus on those techniques to gain consciousness…. Once you achieve that… a whole new world will open up for you….
In ways that you can’t perceive right now…. It will enable you to find peace within yourself. And to know thy self.
Enjoy the journey. ❤
@@esotericheric8659 thanks you! i havent read that book but its definitely on my pending list to read :)
@@Uranianth th-cam.com/video/7cTA56aMmjU/w-d-xo.htmlsi=PqXutEMwvJ2_gBfK. Gospel of Thomas pt 1
for obvious reasons i didnt post this before..i rambled too much with deteriorated energy, hopes, and dreams, and many silent moments..but thats what happens when you deal with depression :/
I was just gonna say - I think you may be suffering from depression - ha - join the club :)
I think your depressed too...and some of us are just not made for the avenues available to us so we can meet good quality men.
@@pv8340 ... You might be right - my dr thinks I am depressed because I suffer from fatigue - trying some meds - no help yet. next is a psychiatrist. Hey - thanks for the reply :)
I feel ur pain I have Aspergers and dyspraxia and suffer from Depression mood swings and am gay and life ain’t easy and feel at times my friends don’t really care about me as I’m the one having to make the effort each time and gets exhausting
sending hugs man !! remember difficulties make you strong !! theres a silver lining in everything! trust!! x
Im not sure where you are now a year later but you are worth so much more than what your mind is telling you. Being alone is hard i know, but stand up out of adversity man up and conquer !! youre attractive and better than you realize ❤
Gracious!! Something so simpatico about you, all the comments ❤️ I turned 70, NEVER thought i'd get here. Around age 49, i recognized my depression was an immense flashback. Life is long when sleep deprived. I became a dancer. The Arts! Is where we learn transformation
Precious man.....I wish I could be of help and friendship for you.
This video is 2 years old. I so hope life is better for you now.😊
I am 58 years old. Already after my thirty, the "gay scene" declared me old. When I say "gay scene", it was just those cruising hidden places in the dark, woods and such, people I would be with once and never again. All my life I have only fallen in love to straight guys. They all attracted me because they were impressed that I was in love with them, but I never had sex with any of them. Now that I'm old, I've kind of come to terms with myself. I realized that the problem was me because I wasn't attracted to gays on a brought daylight. I can't do that today also. I still have a friend who is a drunkard and who pulls me around, he even stole a little something from me, which hurt me a lot. Still, I love him and I can't help it, and he loves me too, albeit in a different way. I realized that you can live without sex. I won't lie and say that it's a good life, but then again, it's not as empty as you think yours is, at least at the moment. I love to grow plants. I love dogs and cats so I fantasize about having them when I retire. I have a wonderful, unobtrusive family that accepts me as I am. This friend of mine is very unusual and very sociable, so through him I met many other people whom I would never have approached otherwise. He loves to tell everyone about me so everyone knows I'm gay. Believe me, everyone has a hard time in one way or another and many have it much harder than me or you. I know American society is very closed and I'm lucky to live in a much more normal country, but try to open up more to other people. Life can often seem long, but when you get older you are amazed at how quickly time has passed. So life is never long enough and you should use the time you are given. Sigh only in sex, and otherwise laugh, laugh at yourself and others, let others laugh at you and laugh at them and with them. If where you live now is really that ugly, move away on time, read books, walk in nature, invent yourself! Never definitively define yourself by calling yourself gay or incel, don't live in any drawer, because all around us there are interesting people with interesting stories. Realistically, I really think that I'm a deeply unhappy person, but as soon as I hang out with other people or take a walk in nature, I realize that it's really hard for me only when I lock myself in an apartment with myself. So, I am my own worst enemy. But now I am aware of it! Now I know what I have to do with myself! I wish you all the happiness in the world and that you come out of your dark tunnel into the sun ❤
You are so right about America being closed and isolated, more so than probably any other place that exists, I think.
Im a 28 queer person living in a third world country
life can felt very exhausting and isolating sometimes when there isnt really enough infomation/education for people and the they are not ready witj the topic yet.
as being in depression time to time, and hypersensitive person myself, Im so glad I found your comment.
life is long
life is short
both sceneries are scary, imagining being gay in older age
But I totally agree when you said ‘do not define yourself with being gay’, because yes, we as human being are so much more than that.
try to think of the bigger picture of being anything beside your sexuality can definitely help with depression.
I love your other advices too.
love you,
and wish you all the best!
: )
@@john.premose I just now saw your comment, strange that yt didn't show it earlier. Thank you! I personally have never been to America, but I have relatives there and I know that everyone sticks to their own micro-communities. I don't like their fears and prejudices.
@@kois196q thank you, it means a lot to me that my comment was useful to someone!
I’m so sorry for what you’ve been through. I wish you well and happiness in life. Always know that you’re not alone and you’re stronger than you think. Giving you the biggest virtual hug from across the world!
Just shy of two years, and I hope you're continuing to do better. You seem like such a caring, gentle soul -- and very easy on the eyes, IMO -- it's a shame we live in such a hyperbolic world at the moment, especially for the younger gens. I've read some of the replies, and I found them very encouraging, so I'll add to the mix: Here's a listening ear if you ever need one, but my feeling is if you're brave enough to share as you did, you have plenty of courage to face the future, and some to spare for a special friend. And there IS a future after this mess we're in works itself out.
Thanks for the nice encouraging words :)
It's very lonely in the gay community if you don't possess the desired 4 characteristics: being white, good looking, physically fit and young. The less characteristics you have of these desired traits, the more you'll face rejection and discrimination in the gay community.
Which is why I have no desire to be a part of a community that is so shallow.
I'll also add having money as the fifth trait
@@monk4evernobody asked you to come, to be honest.
Buddy, you can see for yourself there are plenty of us who can walk with you on this. You are lonely but are not alone. Let your body and soul truly work together for your happiness on this earth. By virtue that we exist at all gives us the right to profound happiness. The only thing we have to do is consent to it, claim it as a birthright, and act upon it. Takes courage, strength and perseverance, and we won't always get our way, but it's the only way we can live an authentic life.
You are adorable. I also love your voice.
ty :)
His voice is beautiful though, right? Effortlessly masculine and unaffected (fake). Depression is a bitch. This young man is a gold nugget and doesn't know it.
I hope you are still with us, and will continue to be. I can only say that, at 81, life is not too long, and there are still things I want to complete before it's over. And I've certainly had doubts and depression, too.
Thanks for the vid, I really thought I was alone in this situation.
I understand your frustration. My bestfriend just hung himself, my dad shortly after blew his head off...the only 2 good men in my life growing up couldn't handle life anymore...makes me wonder if that's my future. I hope for better days, but it is lonely, and this hasn't been a fun time.
@@marcusdub07 its not.your future hope things get better for you hugs
Your story is very typical of the gay community. You have an advantage. You're young and good looking.
You are correct though that time passes quickly. Big hug that you find who is just right for you. 💜
I know this is a super old video. But this is where I'm at in life right now. Honestly feel dead inside, just going through the motions. I've been treated with a slew of different meds. Nothing seems to work. I guess there's no magic pill that will fix everyone. Hopefully, you're in a better mental state these days. If so, maybe I'll eventually get there myself, and join you on the other side. You just earned a new subscriber BTW for being freaking adorable. 😅
hey man thank you. Im in a better place now so i believe you'll be here as well ;)
What cured me of my chronic depression: death of my first and most loved partner. In the end I flip my life on its head and started anew. I vow to live in the moment, help others in need and keep learning. I regret nothing.
I went through a lot even after but I end up dusting myself, breath a sign of thanks and see what else I can endure.
One day at a time. I’m 58 now and I have been abstinent for 14 years. Never been in a long-term relationship. Yes, it can be very lonely, but it can also be very liberating, if you focus on building the temple within. Read Epictetus: The Manual. And each day you wake up, dig deep and find within yourself reasons to get up, get out of bed and go on. Life is worth it, if you constantly remind yourself that you are the prize, no matter what anyone else sees or thinks about you. You are the prize!
nice like that vision :)
really, for me it sucks that life is short. i am going to be 30 soon and it's scaring me how fast it goes by :( scares me
i think what you mean deep down is that youre scared of growing into older age?. we all want to be young..life was easier per say.. so basically young age is short. being a grown up is what takes up most of the life span of humans.
... I just turned 71yo and - yes - it does seem to go fast - looking back - where did the time go ??? Better to look ahead and enjoy each day. BIG HUG 💜
Life isn't short at all with an empty fridge.
You should look up "avoidant/disorganized/anxious" attachment, I see my pain your eyes, and I was in your mindset too, even though it may not feel like it because I am a stranger.
I felt robotic, isolated and empty.
You need to process all these feelings by understanding your moods that surface every few hours, you are a walking recordbook and sometimes it's okay to *read* the story you've written thus far and see what you can extrapolate and overcome. There can be times where you have to enjoy your own company before anyone elses, then you can be around someone you love or at least care enough as a close fwb. Quit porn, incredibly important, that is a bad psychedelic experience because you become trapped in a world you are not involved in.
God bless you, you beautiful gay lone wolf, you will feast, but first you must accept there is lack of nourishment from an inferior substitute to food.
Thank you encouraging words :)
Hang in there man
you look vietnamese to me, for some reasons
@@francescocerasuolo4064 Indonesian.
Brother I like your honest video. I feeling your pain and I have had those same feeling. I just saw your video and I hope things are much better for you now. You are a very handsome man and it may be very hard to believe but you have a lot to live for.
Thanks you kind words :) yes im doing better now
I’d be more than happy to date and love someone like u ik im a random person saying this but I’d love to date u ..u seem so sweet and gentle and genuine I may not have much to give but I have love and a lot to offer.
I feel this in my core man and relate to it sm. Hope you're okay.
sending hugs
Great video. It's a true insight. Yes, you're superficially handsome, but that means nothing. I'm a handsome guy, who waited 35 years to find my partner. It's TOUGH!
tough indeed hugs xx
Your a very handsome man. Sometimes, it’s where you live. If you live in the country and don’t have many friends, try taking a trip to the closest city for gay live.
I know you meant well, but most countries are not US or Brazil where you have millions of towns and cities to choose from.
@@gideonros2705 then come visit me
Time flies regardless of what state we are in .. the difference is that a happy and fulfilled person would have interesting and fun memories to share from that time contrary to a sad and unfulfilled person who would not have any interesting or fun story to share as the time that “flew” was somehow empty uneventful and even painful
Old age rocks! I have suffered chronic, often unrelenting depression my entire life. It is a byproduct of being a member of possibly the most universally hated community in our culture. You have to be strong. Otherwise, the haters win! A very wise teacher taught me 50 years ago, had I done the act I was contemplating, I would just have to come back and learn all the lessons I needed on this plane of existence. That resonated. Once is enough! lol When I get outside myself, get busy helping those less fortunate, I have little or no energy left to worry about my small, insignificant problems in life. God richly bless you beautiful boy, as He has me all along this journey. Grandmamá.
thank you for sharing your story and nice kind inspirational words :)
Hey. I just wanted to leave a comment that I appreciate your energy and related to your experiences a lot.
So relatable 😢
Love you so much bro
Keep going 🤗
thanks hun x
I feel the same as you.
Bro, you cute as hell…come be my friend! Learn to surf and….hang in there. You are not as alone as you think. There’s someone out here just longing for a chance to meet a sweet, sensitive cutie like you
Life is worth living. And I will tell you a sedentary lifestyle has a way of isolating you. Especially if you live in a cold climate. Maybe you’re an introvert or maybe you’re an extrovert. Get a good therapist. I know you will say certain peaks and valleys. Nobody can fix that for you, but we can walk next to you when possible.
Sing out, Louise!
We can’t hear you!
I think you’re being too hard on yourself. You were pretty clear in why you felt like life is too long. Then I saw the shame and guilt on your face for being honest with yourself. I’ve been there.
I think the best thing for you to do is slowly deconstruct why you have little experience or a mental block from putting yourself out there and connecting with people. Does each fail attempt hit hard? Why? Is it harkening back to never feeling accepted or loved in your childhood? Not being a part of “the boys”?
If you do this you’ll feel like it’s less of a personal defect and more like “oh yeah my dad was an asshole that gave me no autonomy no fucking wonder why I was in that bad situation” “oh yeah no one taught me the dangers of being manipulated because I’m a boy/man”
Youd be surprised how empowering it can be. Give yourself grace. You’re trying
thank you!! :) nice pov
@@Uranianth all us gays are broken lol so we ought to be real about it and help each other out
Life is not long enough young man. You need to get out of your own head and live. Enjoy the world and let the world embrace you. Loneliness is an energy eater. Do not give in to it. It's a temporary thing. I need you. to love yourself above all else. Love yourself!!
Thanks nice reminder. Im learning x
You matter.
aw thanks you too x
... We All matter :)
Hang in there loneliness hurts I understand this well❤❤❤❤
I know this is an old post. I feel for you.
I would marry this man in a heartbeat. ❤
Lol that one eye symbolism on the profile pic. This guy is an actor folks. Just another energy vampire
its very very lonely!!
Breaks my heart because I’ve been there. If you haven’t, try meds. Worked for me. Hang in there.
You are a beautiful young man. I send you prayers and blessings, i only wish it were hugs and coffee instead.
Greetings from the UK.
thank you greetings :) love coffee
i would have loved to be able to hear any part of this video
Yea when your not having fun it definitely makes life longer.
Depression sucks. Best to ya mate. Vegan here as well.
Sending love
I've been where you are.
I just wanna give you a big hug.
YOU HAVE....
You need to challenge a different aspect of yourself - Something well outside of your comfort zone ... Introduce something new to your character ,a bit scarier, more daring ...less sensitive, learn to ride a motorbike , even if it's a few laps around a circuit
Go out bush and wrestle an aardvark ,chase an ostrich , kick a bear in the nuts (but dont harm them ) ...pick a fight with a bully, smash your ex's car window , or go and rob a bank (NO.. don't do that )...but seriously if you have to Go out and be a cunt to someone who deserves it .
Any of these actions can help reignite your " inner bad-boy " which we all have as a backup - To release anger and piss on your fears...You don't really have to hurt anyone. - Be cheeky to authority !! - It's healthy
If none this advice sits right with you - Go and help someone who's got it way worse than you .Because that also works .
We can all get flat ruminating on hopelessness and self pity - It zaps all your strength ..but it is imaginary ,and that means you can"imagine " your way out of it too.
Therefore "..To the stage my good Theatre Child for tonight you shall Karaoke "Du hast " by Rammstein !
BTW - I'm not a doctor - but I've been where you are plenty of times and I found this to be the best remedy to break the loop -
Trust me !! It works !
🤜🤡🤬👿🤜
Of course It's quite OK to chuck a SAD every now and then !!
th-cam.com/video/uVg5WZHoPos/w-d-xo.htmlsi=L_qQfweA3CKdS
🤠❤
You're gonna be alright
Can i give you a hug. We all feel the same way
You’re letting your loneliness control you and making you feel sorry for yourself. We all suffer from depression at one time or another but you can’t really control you.
You're so handsome
❤
The ego loves to play victim.
Lazy attitude to LIFE with all its outrageous beauty and opportunity to explore and experience.
You could hor starters just give GRATITUDE for your eyesight, your hearing, your ability to walk, etc etc including your knowhow to uplaod your post on youtube.
There are many who dont have access to youtube, some oldies just dont know how to do it....we could go on.
You have an arrogance that LIFE must be delivered to you on a silver platter.
No! LIFE IS AND WILL ALWAYS BE.
Its up to you to pull your finger out and begin participating.
The world loves to celebrate victims and poor me's.
I dont.
Thanks for this. I admit I didn't even believe gay incels existed.
How old are you? You look under 30. I turned 55 this year. I can't say my life has always been great. Although it doesn't seem that long ago that I was 30 years old. Time flies even when you're not having fun. Try to make the best of it.
I am so there with you and I am dee that you.
I had depression, we all suffer from in one thing or another, so tell me about what’s going on with you? I would like to know?
“incel” was that a mistype??
You need some friends ( or one good sincere friend) who can give you the support and love you need and deserve.
Take the forum ..it a 2weekend seminar in most big cities designed by the est program ..it is transformational...
Aw what a Cutie
👦 😍
I get it. Maybe be vegan later? Diet is everything. I am a vegetarian scitsofrentic (who can’t spell) I really get you. Vitamins and some protein help more than you think
@@John25. We dont need as much protein as we are sold. Vitamins and minerals primarily yes
@@Uranianth okay do your thing.🌚
❤️❤️❤️❤️😍✌️
Omg your so beautiful why would you feel that way. 😊
You have to work out if you don’t you’ll be sad and have health problems
True
That’s my problem, working out is currently such a huge chore and because I don’t I get depressed lmao it’s a damn vicious cycle
@@xandercrew6088 i feel ya sending hugs
There's no reason for you to be an incel. You need coaching and mentorship
Maybe people cant hear you?
Hlo
Vegan gains
¿
I see someone feeling sorry for himself. Get help, see a therapist.
Hang in there boo ❤ everyone brings their own unique energy into this universe, including you. I know depression is hard, I struggle with it too. I always try to focus on the fact that there will be sunnier days after the storm. We’re in this together 🫂
Are you feeling better at present? what do you think causes your depression?
You want my number?
Life isn't long, I get this though. I know it's cringe but honestly life is what you make it. Im 42 and I would do any thing to be your age again. From my constant migraines to my constant pain, depression and anxiety. Life is hard. I'm not rich and I barely get by. But I find happiness when I can. You will get out of this bro. But YOU must put in the effort, no one is going to rescue you. Be your own knight in shining armor. Then you can be someone elses 😉
I hear you buddy I know what it’s like. Hope things are buddy
I've taken up the hobby of growing pelargonium ("geranium") plants in my friend's greenhouse (well, actually my partner), which helps me whilst being terminally ill with the rare disease Amyloidosis and being immunosuppressed after having a kidney transplant.
Even a walk in nature helps. You are a very handsome young man. I trust you get well. 🤍
thank you and thanks for sharing!! hope you do too
❤