Let's Talk: Is It Always The Leader's Fault?
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- เผยแพร่เมื่อ 4 ต.ค. 2024
- Is it always the leader's fault? Or do we all have a part to play? That is what I am discussing today. When you go to classes, the one thing you hear time and time again is that when things go wrong it is "always" the leader's fault, but this is not necessarily the case. Check out my opinion on the subject, and let me know your thoughts in the comments!
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Your very right but at the end of the day it's a dance not a war if either of you make a mistake laugh it off and enjoy the dance
Absolutely 🥰
Often times it's no ones fault, just a simple miscommunication (like in every other life situation). However, when it's obvious that it was my mistake and the leader says 'sorry, my bad' I always respond 'NO, it's my fault!' and then we just laugh it off. I really appreciate the leader being kind and trying to make feel good but as you said, we all need to take accountability :)
@@toniaant that's very nice 😉
You are soo damn right!!! This should be enshrined in front of every social dance place 😀 A smile is the magic ingredient for a great dance.
@@svajunasplunge2930 😁😁😁😁
Maybe the problem is assigning blame in the first place? It should be OK (and is) to make mistakes as long as its not dangerous or makes either uncomfortable
I agree with you 💯
Yes, your are spot on. Adapt yourself to make the other dancer happy.
It's just so right.
Thanks Rasa.
@@Arnaudbouss glad you agreed 👍
Definitely agree I like to try and make the person I dance with enjoy the experience!!
@@jeanpryce9649 me too ✋️
I liked your three points at the end, but I like your fourth point even better when you laughed at your own joke 😂
🤣🤣🤣
When I began partner dancing classes, I assumed it was a matter of courtesy (because leaders are almost always male) to apportion blame to them when things went wrong, less to do with "leading" because in a class we're instructed on both lead and follow steps and technique.
Agree wholeheartedly with you about taking personal responsibility for one's actions: To many people want to change the world without giving any thought to changing themselves first. We should take care not to let our egos overtake our talent.
I agree and I am inline with your thoughts. I want to add another consideration: take into account the personality, the temperament of the other person. Sometimes I dance with beginners who are really afraid to do mistakes. They often think that if something "doesn't work" is due to their mistake (Mentally: "I am beginner, therefore it was my mistake"). In those cases when something "doesn't work" I prefer - being a skilled one - to break this thought and just say "sorry my fault" and let her feel that she can concentrate on herself while I am taking the overall responsibility. This is obviously to help her to enjoy the moment knowing her limits. And of course is great when there's a vice-versa. In the end, let's not forget that we are "just dancing" and should be taken easily :)
Never blame each other. Don't apologize for every mistake. That destroys the dancing experience and enlarges the errors. Just continue dancing.
If the follower goes off in a different direction than I intended I always choose to continue with her move. Sometimes that leads into uncharted terrain for me as a lead. Either I can sort it out or we can have a laugh. These situations can give a bit of a roller-coaster feeling. Some fear it and some love it. You can see on your follower who she is, and adapt to that. Go safe or continue pushing the limits.
@@alfacentauri3686 I like that 👌
Sometimes there are made mistakes, but i don't call them out as one. I always say it wasn't a mistake just another outcome and makes room to improvide.
@@sergekoeyvoets6166 love that 😉
When you are right - you are right.
I also hope leads/follows can be accommodating and keep their accountability. 😇
I have daft moments social dancing; where I'm off beat or can't decide what move I want to do...
So I find it such an easier dancing life to quickly apologize and have a laugh at my mistake and crack-on 😅 but by doing this I'm also reminding to be kind to myself.
(Whilst learning/refining my skillset - I did used to beat myself up over the little things and nowadays I just laugh about it 😂)
Thank you for another great video - I look forward to our next dance - and probably having one of these silly moments 😆
Silly moments is what makes it all real life , laughter is a must ! 😇
Great video❤❤❤
Thank you!!
Everyone is different and on a different dance journey, I'll try and not comment in the future I understand what you mean about no one is perfect, having the communication and connection is the thing and making the best dance for both sides and keeping people safe to dance again and again and have the confidence to ask again.
@@evertondod very good points 👉
If it's а good faith mistake, fault is irrelevant. It's a lot more fun to look for what works between me and my partner, than whom to blame for whatever doesn't.
Absolutely, love the attitude 😇
If the mistakes are always the leader’s fault then naturally all the successes are also entirely thanks to the leader ;)
@@siirifani4ever that's right 😆
For sure I place blame on myself all the time.. I need to keep my timing, keep the rhythm going, need to be spatially aware to remain safe and not crash into anyone else and also I need to ensure my lead is safe as not to hurt the follower...
Now if my lead isn't followed correctly I need to figure out if my lead was clear enough and obvious enough or if it was too confusing.. so I try again in a slightly different way and modify it until it might become clear enough.. if the follower is unable to follow the lead after changing it a few times then i think is it a skill issue? Either on my part or hers..
However,
I never blame the lady and I always just want to have fun 😄
This is so spot on. I wish this would actually happen around me more - people giving their dance partner a good feeling no matter what instead of pointing out (supposed) mistakes... People seem to feel so entitled to perfection (stuck in competitiveness) and dismiss politeness and actual fun - at least in the younger crowd in my area...It happens all the time, even during socials, that leaders would give "educational commentary" that wasn't asked for. It also sometimes happens to me, that if I actually make a mistake as a follower, leaders would call me out for not doing what they wanted me to do, as if I would have "misbehaved" on purpose... Another problematic aspect I see: Followers being called out for "anticipating" during classes. So this would actually be an example where people assume it's the follower's fault - but especially during dance classes, when you are learning something new, I would never think the follower made a mistake for "anticipating" the move you are practicing - even when the leader tried something slightly different. You first gotta get it into your muscle memory before you can actually let yourself fall as a follower..
Absolutely, in the end of the day in class, as a teacher, we remind people what they need to work on to be better. But during social people suppose to be understanding, and try to give a nice dance to everyone 😉.
Dancing with beginner followers often they thought they did something wrong when they didn't. Do you think it is because my leading might have not been clear enough that they were kinda guessing or is it just that because they didn't do the move before they don't know whether it is right or wrong?
That's the thing, all these things could be true, and could be true all at once 😇. Do the best you can, ask for feedback from your teachers and friends, and do not worry too much 😉.