Excellent video and appreciate the focus on platonic friendships vs romantic partnerships. I have found that I am not only scared to speak up because of how my parents reacted to me as a child, but I missed the red flags in adult friendships that they do not allow for difference of opinions or challenging them without it resulting in passive aggression or a cold withdrawal or aggression. I have attracted what felt familiar to my family of origin. You can’t always speak up and the other person will respond fairly. After having spent time developing a relationship with myself, I am not feeling as “need” to stay connected…as much. It’s very scary but your videos help me stay inspired to walk the path of being true to myself. Thank you!
Good for you Diane! I can so relate to missing red flags because of how family members reacted - that’s why we need to be kind to ourselves during this process. Thanks so much for watching and doing this work!
Thank you. This was very helpful! I appreciate your compassionate and caring attitude toward those of us who are needy. This gave me hope and direction. I will re-listen and gather points to discuss with my therapist.
YAY! I'm so glad it helped. Yeah many of us have been needy and that word tends to sting but it's understandable given our history right? Recovery is about embracing ALL of ourselves not just the good parts.
So good Michelle. I can trace this type of behaviour back to my childhood especially trying to keep the connection with people who weren't good for me. It's taken me many years to get to the root cause and it wasn't until I realised I kept repeating the same behaviour that I had to do something.
Yeah repeating the lesson is part of the recovery process for sure. Humbling but effective and over the years I've learned not to beat myself up over it. Healing takes time and lots of practice!
Ive been smothered by a codependent. Awful 😞 Had to pull the plug & lost a good friend… but I was given no other choice. She just couldn’t control herself to leave me alone when I asked. Got in the way of my goals…. BIG no-no. Bye-bye.
@@PopDemandVidz Yeah boundaries are tough for them but i like that you stated your boundary then followed it up with action. Sad outcome but you never know the end result. No mater what it will benefit you because it's stops the pattern.
Oh god yes. It was smoothing and painful in the end. Now she won't go away, 12 months have passed and I'm still getting contact attempts. Very strange, I now fully understand WHY I WAS HER ONLY FRIEND.
i notice that i fall into the people pleasing side of a friendship (being too kind) while my friend falls into the needy side (always calling, always wanting to hang out), my twin brother suspects he's a misdiagnosed covert narcissist as autism me and my brother (being autists) prefer being alone and quoting my brother _"just stopped forming strong bonds at a certain point"_ , this however does not work with someone needy like my friend and the people pleasing personality
That's so great that you have identified a pattern - that is a HUGE step - because then you can ask yourself - what do you want to STOP doing as a result of this awareness?
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Excellent video and appreciate the focus on platonic friendships vs romantic partnerships. I have found that I am not only scared to speak up because of how my parents reacted to me as a child, but I missed the red flags in adult friendships that they do not allow for difference of opinions or challenging them without it resulting in passive aggression or a cold withdrawal or aggression. I have attracted what felt familiar to my family of origin. You can’t always speak up and the other person will respond fairly. After having spent time developing a relationship with myself, I am not feeling as “need” to stay connected…as much. It’s very scary but your videos help me stay inspired to walk the path of being true to myself. Thank you!
Good for you Diane! I can so relate to missing red flags because of how family members reacted - that’s why we need to be kind to ourselves during this process. Thanks so much for watching and doing this work!
Ditto. I can certainly relate.
Need to add guilt-tripping.
@@PATyler100 yep that’s true.
Thanks Pat!
Thank you. This was very helpful! I appreciate your compassionate and caring attitude toward those of us who are needy. This gave me hope and direction. I will re-listen and gather points to discuss with my therapist.
YAY! I'm so glad it helped. Yeah many of us have been needy and that word tends to sting but it's understandable given our history right? Recovery is about embracing ALL of ourselves not just the good parts.
So good Michelle. I can trace this type of behaviour back to my childhood especially trying to keep the connection with people who weren't good for me. It's taken me many years to get to the root cause and it wasn't until I realised I kept repeating the same behaviour that I had to do something.
Yeah repeating the lesson is part of the recovery process for sure. Humbling but effective and over the years I've learned not to beat myself up over it. Healing takes time and lots of practice!
Me too without realizing it with one person
Yeah sometimes it can take awhile to realize how a relationship really is.
Me too and now I’m dealing with a codependent friend. I care for them but I can’t be that
Yeah no one can be everything for one person.
@@MichelleFarrismft I'm starting to learn that now.
Yeah that’s a tough lesson but a huge turning point in my recovery. To befriend myself changed how I do relationships. 😃
Ive been smothered by a codependent. Awful 😞 Had to pull the plug & lost a good friend… but I was given no other choice. She just couldn’t control herself to leave me alone when I asked. Got in the way of my goals…. BIG no-no. Bye-bye.
@@PopDemandVidz Yeah boundaries are tough for them but i like that you stated your boundary then followed it up with action. Sad outcome but you never know the end result. No mater what it will benefit you because it's stops the pattern.
Oh god yes. It was smoothing and painful in the end. Now she won't go away, 12 months have passed and I'm still getting contact attempts. Very strange, I now fully understand WHY I WAS HER ONLY FRIEND.
@@JoJo-r6o5r ugh! Yep sounds familiar!
i notice that i fall into the people pleasing side of a friendship (being too kind) while my friend falls into the needy side (always calling, always wanting to hang out), my twin brother suspects he's a misdiagnosed covert narcissist as autism
me and my brother (being autists) prefer being alone and quoting my brother _"just stopped forming strong bonds at a certain point"_ , this however does not work with someone needy like my friend and the people pleasing personality
That's so great that you have identified a pattern - that is a HUGE step - because then you can ask yourself - what do you want to STOP doing as a result of this awareness?
Me too.
Thank you for watching :)
Me too
Yep...you're not alone Jim!