Kiss Players: The Worst Transformers Comic
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- เผยแพร่เมื่อ 21 มี.ค. 2021
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Transformers is a fun franchise. But it's also been around long enough to have some low points. This week, we take a look at the misguided idea to add kissing to the mythology. In 2006, there were 3 comics made in Japan to promote a small toy release by Takara Tomy, the creators of Transformers. It added the concept that Transformers could get powered up by getting a kiss from pretty girls. And then they jammed the story in between the animated movie and season 3 of the cartoon. It's a delightfully weird comic so let's have some fun. - บันเทิง
Each day we move further from Primus's light.
Very underrated comment 😂
Not even Unicron would want to devour our planet
@@wonderwaffle93 Ouch...
Transformers deep lore reference. I love it!
As if you're very pure lol
Optimus probably kept dying to escape this wretched thing.
wouldn't blame him
@@starscream8989 diavolo 😥
Oh don't worry, Starscream arguably got it even worse... and he was already dead.
@@Prich319 talk about literal hell
I think we all owe Michael Bay an apology. Turns out it could have been much, much worse.
Yeah, we all do.
I don't know, Bayformers was getting close to it from the 4th film's "Romeo and Juliet" law scene.
Especially when the certain gussied up girl was in the The Last Airbender film a Katara.
*shudder*
@polichedconspiracy pretty sure it was for the teenagers
@polichedconspiracy that is screwed up
Michael Bay doesn’t deserve shit.
TF fan here. Kiss Players is practically shunned by the fandom. It’s sorta that thing on the TFwiki you accidentally stumble across that makes you regret your entire life
I never knew it existed ,and I was a fan of transformers ever since I was born.
@@smurgerburger did you miss the 10 seconds before you clicked on this video when you didn't know this existed?
@@smurgerburger I'm so sorry you have to find out about this
@@cherry414 yeah it sucks a lot.
Is the sort of thing that is so bad, it unites a fractured fanbase. I gotta give credit to the comic for being able to make a huge majority of fans agree on something
Love the "perverts in disguise " quote
As an anime and manga fan, it's impressive how this particular manga is simultaneously way weirder than average and also extremely derivative.
Needs more tsunderes XP
it feels more like a doujin than your average anime or manga
And I like dojin
I feel like they missed a trick by not calling the evil robots Decepti-lolicons...
Eeew, even creepier than the darn comic.
Oh Kiss Players. That rabbit hole of the TFWiki most fans wish they never fell down, but inevitably did out of morbid curiosity.
Yup that's me. Never read the manga, but I knew abt it way before I hit 13....
"-but ignore all that..."
-Oh thank god
"...because things are about to get gross in a whole new way."
-god damn it, manga.
“Then she motorboats her soldier.” And that was just the start of a list of atrocities.
*🎶CUTIE FORMERS🎶*
*🎶LESS THAN LEGAL AGE🎶*
🎶KISS PLAYERS🎶
🎶PEDOS IN DISGUISE🎶
🎶 CORPORATIONS WAGE THEIR BATTLE TO DESTROY AND END THE MEMORY OF THESE COMIC BOOKS🎶
🎶 Kiss Players 🎶
🎶Too much that meets the eye 🎶
"PEDOBOTS, ROLL OUT!"
KISS PLAYERS
WHAT THE HELL IS THIS
A story that makes Michael Bay look good in comparison? FEAR!
Bay is the greatest in history.
Transformers: yes!
Manga: yes!
Answers random confusing continuity points: sure.
Evangelion ripoff: could be good?
softcore hentai: *no*
Lolicon: *FBI! OPEN UP!*
Edit: I can't believe my comment almost has 100 likes!
Transformers and Evangelion had a crossover before.
@@arx3516 the evangelion crossover happened a decade after kiss players.
female lead :)
Transformers: yes!
Manga: yes!
Answers random confusing continuity points: sure
Evangelion ripoff: could be good?
softcore hentai: I'm a freak, so hit me
Lolicon: NOOOOOOO!!!!!
“Then she motorboats her soldier” I lol’d and got so many strange looks at work
Get back to work Gordy!
@@SLEEP-HEART You’re not my real mom!
Great video!.
You definitely shouldn’t be watching this at work.
I feel like I’ve been added to a government watchlist after seeing this.
Thanks, Chris.
when you realize the 4th transformers movie Age of extinction had almost the same plot earth betraying the autobots to what happen to the city well Age of extinction felt more like a X-men story
#Metoo
Funny Stuff! thumbs up!
"This comic wants you to eject at least two types of bodily fluid."
I absolutely lost it at that line, tears streaming down my face. You're such a treasure.
That very sentence made me nearly eject one of those two bodily fluids... And it wasn't the more pleasant of the two.
That sentence made me lactate
@@DevilBoy-ww9ud You could make it pleasant if you tried hard enough!
Well you already ejected one
@@thelittleredhairedgirlfrom6527 How do you know it was only one?
There is so much phallic imagery and weird robot/body horror scenes with the weird pseudo organic robot body parts and the fact the robots can eat. It's insane that anyone green lighted this and like you said, was even worse than the initial description
It's Japan Dale Greenland anything Which is sometimes a good thing in a bad thing
Even worse is that because it was the first piece of Transfromers media to establish a comprehensive timeline of the universe, it cemented itself as an essential part of that continuity. The sequel even went out of its way to fix the continuities of other Transformers universes that were completely separate from the original cartoon.
Yeah, how did the execs see this and NOT send it back for all the loli crap to get changed. If there's an instance for some Executive Meddling, this is it.
A bunch of company executives all agreed that this would be a good idea.
I just... can't think about that too much
If it’s from Japan there’s not a lot to think about
@@kreigguardsman3355 That's the exact attitude that Takara was trying to avoid by not letting this get localized and replacing the head writer after the first handful of volumes were released.
Actually, Takara wasn't quite sure what the actual manga was going to be like until after it was released. The author negotiated to be able to do what he wanted with it and they allowed it. After Takara saw just what the comic was like, they replaced him. By that point, volume 1 was already on the shelves and the next few were already under contract. Once they were able to, they kicked him off the team and made the "sequel" much cleaner.
@@OtakuUnitedStudio I had to bleach my eyes after watching this,I prefer watching roft 100 times,than read a single dialogue from this...thing
Finally! Transformers at last has the elements it was missing from the start; lolis and phallic tentacles.
You forgot to mention the Vore
what Transformer need no no did it
Full Japanese.
This is what justice League was missing too.
@@zenoblues7787 well there is Unicron
"This comic is cursed." Considering what you were diagnosed with after filming this review, there might be some truth to that. Hope you recover soon.
What was he diagnosed with? I don’t have any social media accounts, because social media websites like Twitter and Facebook have fundamentally altered American discourse for the worst and have been huge contributors to the “alternative truths” affect.
@@Popcultureguy3000 He has Covid
@@zenoblues7787 I hope he makes a speedy recovery.
"I reviewed this manga... now I'm GAY"
@@Popcultureguy3000 ok?
"so how many issues did the comic have?" "well depending on which definition you mean, it could be either three, or just, so, SO fucken many."
At first when I read your title, I thought that it was the KISS comic from the 70s published by Marvel that used real blood of the band members.
🤣I forgot about that
@@stefanfilipovits21 that's a thing. The cover looks awesome
That sounds fucking cool!
Tht would be a better book.
How was it used? Lol
Oh my god, the aspect ratio joke at the beginning was amazing. Hope you feel better soon Chris.
I think the joke went over my head, explanation please?
@@mattsom3915 the newly released Snyder cut of Justice League starts with a similar black screen with white text saying "This film is presented in a 4:3 format to preserve the integrity of Zack Snyder's creative vision."
@@HitovsMoustache Ahhh I see
Oohhh. I thought my bootleg was cropped for some reason. Lol
@@HitovsMoustache When I saw that text I thought to myself: “Oh. For a second there I thought its because the post production team didn’t have enough time and money to scale the footage to a 16:9 ratio; cause that seems like the real reason”.
Like seriously, I don’t really see how the 4:3 ratio is supposed to enhanced the narrative of the film. Especially compare to the Lighthouse when it did that.
I'm gonna need to write a lengthy heartfelt apology letter to Michael Bay after seeing this
*Optimus has died 4 times*
Megatron: I'll destroy you Prime
Optimus: Yeah probably
This planet is yours now, Megatron. I'm done defending it.
"i assure you sir, child looking desings characters having suggestive actions is absolutely neccesary for the plot"
I think Yuki Oshima had some issues he never had an outlet for. He should've just made a doujin under pseudonym like other artists would.
I feel bad for like this manga cuz I thought the girl were just chiba characters honesty
I draw *one* piece of fanart for this channel and now I'm on a watch list THANKS CHRIS.
That "perverts in disguise" killed me. Good job
I remember the Japanese reaction to this manga, it was something like: "What the fuck, dude? Don't you think this is a bit too much?"
And the American reaction was something like: "Hahaha, those crazy Japanese, amirite?" Which caused consternation among the Japanese public...
Glad to know that literally.nobody wanted this.
Jesus this series must've been vile as shit if even the Japanese didn't wanna touch considering how freaky they can be in terms of manga
@Gene Matthew Juanico idk i think it's kinda messed up to look at japanese people isolated within the vacuum of weeby shit and use that to judge an entire culture. like, obviously real life japan isn't just hentai land.
Never thought I'd see you cover this. It's been something the Transformers fandom would keep hidden in the dark from people
Rightfully so. Holy shit.
Kiss players is one of those pieces of media that if they just took the basic premise and characters and left the weirdness and pervertedness in vault at the bottom of the ocean they could have had half way decent story.
Basically high school girls in mech suits, transactors as they’re call in transformers, vs. Megatron zombies.
Wow, that first issue is literally the first two episodes of Evangelion. Depressed character with parent issues who is nearly killed in a giant monster attack but then learns they are special and are guilted into "getting in the robot" without any explanation of what is going on, having the robot's arm blasted off and regrown before blackingout out and waking up in the hospital.
SHINJI, KISS THE FUCKING ROBOT!!!
Funny enough I think there was an actual crossover with the Transformers and Evangelion.
@@kingj9664 Indeed there was. In fact, as part of the crossover, TakaraTomy released a version of the MP-10 Optimus Prime Masterpiece figure redeco'ed in EVA Unit 01's colours, as seen here: toys.tfw2005.com/convoy-mode-eva-7847
@@travisjordan3853 thanks for that
@@travisjordan3853 that page link is blank.
Giant robots, depressed protagonists, disturbing sexual imagery and a non-ending... So, it's basically "Evangelion".
Kiss players might have not gotten an ending, but unlike evangelion it's legacy is directly continued with further attempts in trying to reconcile the nonsensical and convoluted continuity of the Japanese g1 "OG" universe that continues to this very day.
@@diegodankquixote-wry3242 Evangelion's story is still on going though. The Rebuild movies are a continuation.
@@nomative8915 the rebuilds take place in an alternate universe and thier was a long gap of time from when The End of Evangelion came out and the first rebuild movie came out. Beast wars returns (a.k.a. the hack dub of beast machines) with takes place in the same Continuity came out after maybe a year after kiss players was over (2001?) But I might be wrong on the exact timing.
Funnily enough there is a Transformers and Evangelion crossover
Don't you FUCKING DARE compare this trash to Evangelion. Evangelion has sophistication and fascinating character work and psychological themes, don't lump it with Loli bait Transformers manga.
Yuki Oshima: "I want to grab people attention"
The dude then straight up made a goru lolicon rap*y manga for no reason
Unfortunately that's how a lot of Japanese manga Creator think. Incorporated mixing two or three things together. Like cute girls with sexual undertones and horror. It's like mixing pizza with ice cream separate are good butt together horrible
There's a reason: money. Many Japanese otaku love this trash...
@@KronnangDunn actually this was released I believe as a promotional issue meaning it most likely was free and it was only 3 issues long. I heard it got bad reviews a lot of people hated
@@frannava2463 As a doujinshi? Figures. Since they are free there's no regulation. Many put very weird stuff in those...
@@KronnangDunn well it was for 2 promote the Transformer toys. The problem was they didn't know what audience to venture to. Just like many manga and Japanese creator that has too many ideas and really have no real Focus only metaphors and undertones and didn't really know what audience to the otaku's or the action figure collectors for teenagers for kids? So that makes everything up to only to fail miserably concerning I heard that he lost many job opportunities. They have to apologize since a lot of people found it to be gross and disgusting. Concerning the only thing that he did right was the Transformers art.
Kiss Players, aka: the robot action figures were pretty cool as long as you threw away the little girls to make your soul feel cleaner.
Someone’s going to submit artwork of you kissing a transformer LOL
Lmao 😂🤣
my next artwork masterpiece lol
LMAO.
already thought about doing it...just it would be infotron lol
They are NOW
Hot Rod giving up responsibility when things go wrong is just par for the course.
That writer should never be allowed to be close to any child... ever.
Or near school Zones of that matter
Even Japan didn't like Kiss Players, mostly because they were worried about what foreigners would think.
I wish you would talk more about manga, though. Like Guyver, or Battle Angel.
I love the causal way he says "then she motor boats her trooper"
The sad thing is after living through the mlp fandom shit like this doesn't even shock me.
I'm a Transformers fan and already figured it was gonna be Kissplayers lol.
Ive become so numb
desensitized
@@squee-g1658 I can't feel you there
ikr. now whenever i see mangas like this pops up my reaction would be "oh no.."
Thank god “Kiss Players” never came to the States lmao 😂🤣😂
Same
There’s a reason why the Transformers fandom doesn’t talk about this corner of the franchise
Edit: Also, putting aside the creepy aspect of having these characters look like Lolis to be “cute”, it really just clashes with some of the stuff depicted in the manga, and not in a way that works. Depression, copses, and getting mowed down is typically not associated with “cute” characters unless done specifically as purposeful contrast or for subverting tropes, and I seriously doubt that was what was intended here.
Aka "Made In Abyss"
@@aurum3747 made in abyss is beloved and proves counter to the shunning people talk about
1986: Transformers
More than meets the eye...
2006: Transformers
Makes you wana die...
Imagine seeing Chris Hansen asking a Transformer to 'take a seat'
"Take A Seat. Those are drawings. Stop wasting my time. Have a nice day."
Imagine getting a license to your favorite show just to make your weird doujin canont.
That's lowkey kinda commendable, but what the hell?
hes a gigachad, don't even like transformers, but this dude pulled the biggest sigma move,
literally its like hijacking marvel studios and making a cult movie about your fart fetish and making them pass it as canon
“That was the first of 3 issues”
Oh god. There’s more
"Then she motherboats her soldier." I had to replay that to make sure I heard that. properly.
There are people who should not be allowed to work on certain properties.
Chris just put this out there to vindicate his run on Transformers back when he was 10...
Did you make this video to cover for your wife finding your Kiss Players collection? "Oh hi there, you caught me, um, err, just working on my next video...😳"
"Speaking of things that lead to divorce, let's talk about Kiss Players."
There was a meeting where someone said: 'Who buys our toys? Pedophiles!"
I was thinking more in general on this. I mean be honest, is transformers that much of a fan service- perverted series that this will attract fans?! All the kisses, panties, LEGION!? It’s an odd choice Espically at that time and place.
@@hiddenflare6169 I get the distinct feeling that this was to appeal to the author, not the fans.
@@astracrits4633 It seems a lot like the author's attempt to come to terms with and understand a whole slew of horrible fetishes they have, and for some reason, the only medium in which they can do this is as a manga/toy line.
@@Robocopnik Yeah, that sounds about right. Mangakas putting repressed fetishes into their work is an oddly common thing, actually.
"Galvotron's cells infected animals"??? I know that should be the least of my worries here, but WTF?
Just a small explanation: The term "Autorooper" makes sense in Japanese, where the pronunciation of the English word "trooper" would be "to ru pa", so they just add an "ah" to get "ah to ru pa".
Never looked into Kiss Players beyond the concept and its infamy. Never realized how much it shamelessly ripped from Eva, including a giant robot trying to eat stuff.
Perverts In Disguised 🤖
That had me rolling 😂
Okay just that few seconds in the intro alone had me chuckling like an idiot.
There are just some stories that are meant to be forgotten. I can absolutely see why this comic was buried years ago 😓
I absolutely never knew that this even existed and now that I contain the knowledge I wish I remained ignorant of this cursed comic.
"autorooper" actually makes sense in Japanese because trooper is pronounced "torooper" with that extra O
Yes, also wanted to comment on that. It's essentially "Autrooper", but sounds better.
it's a pun then
@@sobersplash6172 Correct
@@27danjel them japanese and their wordplay
@@laobok Why tho, it was never realeased outside Japan was it?
I have seen the dark universe yawning, where the black planets roll without aim. Where they roll in their horror unheeded, without knowledge or lustre or name.
Of course Im reading a transformer comic when this came out 😂
Lol 😂
Just out of curiosity, which comic?
@@seventhbracken4466 transformers u.s issue 9 I'm reading the original ones from the 80s the u.s ones
@@aaronelliman2628 Ah yes, the one where Circuit Breaker tries to murder Wheeljack. Ironically, despite Circuit Breaker's outfit being ludicrously revealing (especially for an 80s comic), she was still a Billion times less-sexualized than the Kiss Players.
@@seventhbracken4466 I agree with you I haven't read it yet I will later tho but that's the comic I'm currently on
Well, I certainly could've done without knowing that this comic exists. But now I know. And knowing is the end of the battle.
I think the main issue here is clearly the clumsy, inappropriate merging of children's toys with decidedly adult themes and content. So bizarre.
That said, I have to admit, unashamedly, that I like the Michael Bay "Transformers"-films. Some more than others, lol...but they're all entertaining, despite being dumb as fuck. That's basically what Michael Bay's entire cinema is based around: entertaining the audience. I don't really have a problem with that.
If I want to be challenged by genuinely thought-provoking cinema, I have Mike Leigh, or Michaelangelo Antonioni, or my gigantic Criterion Collection Bergman box set.
But when I want to turn my brain off and laugh and enjoy giant dumb robots punching each other, I'll always have Michael Bay.
Viva cinema.
Soo its Evangelion, but with Transformers. Got it.
11:19 “They’re eating her.... and then they’re going to eat me! OH MY G-O-OOOOD!!”
Well, I never knew that Transformers had a Loli edition. Not sure if I'm happy about knowing about it now because now I'm on an FBI list. Thanks Chris.
Sweet! Minimum homework AND a new Comic Tropes?
*oh god I need to bleach my eyes
i was big into transfomers myself as a kid and recall my pervert friend being very excited to bring kissplayers to my attention as a teenager but all that reallystood out to me at the time was how come the decepticons dont get any of this attention? the sex appeal was totally lost on my semi adolescent brain who cared much for kick ass robots than cute girls, not much really changed there
so you grew up to be a potentially latent homosexual incel robotics fetishist? 🤣
Sounds like you needed a better friend
I found out about Transformers Kiss Players from one of TV Tropes' "So Bad, It's Horrible" pages a couple years ago. However, I didn't know much about it until *right* now!
Prime still killed less people than "Superman" in Man of Steel
And he killed less than SuperBoy Prime.
I see. This is a "delete your watch history episode". Also, good fortune and speedy recovery to you, Chris!
There are people who seem like they haven't showered or seen the sun in years, and then there's Yuki Oshima, who looks like he doesn't even know what the sun or water are.
I miss the 5 seconds of my life before i know this thing exist
When I saw KISS Players, I had a more rock n roll image in mind. I don't know why I thought a giant Gene Simmons robot would be a thing.
well he certainly had a tongue reminiscent of Gene Simmons 🤣
@@michellelincoln9987 Does this mean Gene Simmons has a phallic tongue?
Ugh.... Thank you for taking one for the team, Chris.
No no no noooo, why you must summon this “things” existence.
I know it’s not the kind of thing you would want to focus on, but showing a new transformers toy without sowing how it transforms is gonna leave part of my brain in unfinished sneeze mode for a considerable time.
Man, Tokyo has taken some lumps over the decades. Innumerable battles between Godzilla and whatever monster he was fighting, and then Galvatron crashes into it. Also, 4:29 gives new meaning to "firecrotch."
The art style and edge looks like a very bad ripoff of Madoka Magica. But Madoka is actually good. I didn't think anything could be worse than Michael Bay. The dude who made this is def a creepy fuck. The kind of shit that should get you black listed before it ever reaches publication.
So I’ve heard about _this_ but never saw the screen shots until now. I expected a trash fire but this a dumpster fire that someone then threw radioactive waste onto.
You handled this topic way more professionally than I ever thought anyone could. I struggle to explain it to people (even though I still do because I enjoy watching the joy leave their eyes as I tell them about it).
I vaguely remember someone talking about this online when I first got interested in transformers. I'm so glad that I'm seeing this as an adult because crap like this would have given me so many nightmares as a child!
This 'nuclear explosion in Tokyo' has an eerie similarity to the famous picture in the Akira manga/anime
Won't be much of a shock if it'd turn out that writers for this are having "some kinds" of problem with the law
Jqjaja
The less I think about this transformers comic the happier I’ll be
Wait does that mean that Transformers is in the same setting as G.I. Joe?!
Yeah
Hi, tf expert here. There's more than 3 Kissplayers toys.
There's the 3 you mentioned, Convoy, Rodimus, and Autorooper, but there's a second smaller Autorooper that comes with a larger figurine of Atari. A black outfit repaint of that Atari figure, a 3 pack of g1 cassette repaints, and the 3 Eggbots.
thanks Vector Sigma!!!
"autorooper" is definitely a portmanteau that makes 10x more sense in japanese, where the english word "auto" ends with a "to" sound, while the english word "trooper" begins with the same "to" sound.
anyways, it's fun having channels not dedicated to transformers talking about things that rarely get mentioned outside of the fandom's space (for good reason in this case lmao), so i really enjoyed this video!
my therapists will hear about this
Kind of funny how this is still canon to Japanese G1 continuity as characters from it appeared in Transformers Legends and the 2nd universe part of the Generations Selects Comics
I am ashamed that I'm aware of this abomination's existence.
...I forgot this existed
Can I go back to before I remembered?
But what if... Kiss Players mean they got their power up from listening to KISS music album?
In Japanese the word TROOPER would be pronounced TO-RU-PE-RU so AU-TOROOPER is probably a play on that.
Nice (disturbing) video, BTW. More power.
I had to go read some 1960’s Sergeant Rock by Joe Kubert to wash the grime of this away. Also, Joe Kubert was a legend for good reason.
I never heard about this before, and I'm starting to wish that I never had.... 🤖👩🏼
so, I was listening to the video while working and I got all scared when Optimus Prime starts talking at 13:05. I think I rarely got such a genuine scare, LOL, thanks Chris LMAO
Okay I need a shower. In lava, With a steel wool brush. Ugg I will never feel clean again!