I am blown away they would call this the naughty nursery. It appears likely that a few of these children are neurodivergent and would really benefit from getting an evaluation instead of just getting called naughty and blaming it on the parenting. It is awesome that they are supporting these parents by giving them new strategies, growing their confidence and giving them hope. Raising a child with developmental issues is no easy task, a lot of y’all are being super critical of them without understanding the reality of their lives.
1000 times this! I am gobsmacked they are referring to it that way. Fair it's only the narrator and the production company but how tone deaf can they be. Someone needs to educate them, never mind the parents.
Nah, the British Isles are known for their high rates of mental disorders. It's mostly due to people not leaving their hometowns and essentially marrying relatives. Same with the Irish, the rates of schizophrenia and bipolar disorder are the highest on the planet.
I agree with this to a point. A lot of child behaviors are due to the parents not being well equipped. Yes a lot of nd kids exist but I think a lot of parents just need to go through parenting classes before having kids and it would help a lot.
Can we please thank all of those mums / parents that they searched for help? And encourage them to continue doing so? 👏🏻 Instead of judging someone we know nothing about. All of them realized they needed help and searched for it. This is fantastic.
@@greysfreak1992 Filming it allows other parents to see when they need help with their children, strategies they can try, as well as where to get further help.
If this is the only nursery in Britain that serves kids with spectrum/severe ADHD then that's pretty sad. I volunteered with youth groups for decades. We had ZERO help when it came to kids with spectrum and ADHD. We learned how to manage, and the other children proved to be very patient and attentive to their peers with special needs. I'm chuckling at how these adults manage these kids. Place them in a mainstream nursery. I guarantee that their peers will be helpful in teaching them to manage their behavior.
I was like this straight from birth. My mom talks about how I had a phase where I basically acted like these kids as a toddler. I am now a diagnosed high functioning autistic person. I don't think we can call these kids bad as they're most likely neurodivergent or don't live in a healthy environment.
Yep. Or, as in the case of a coworker's child, there could be another learning or communication disorder. Fortunately my coworker was attentive and didn't assume it was her kid's fault, and her daughter was diagnosed with apraxia of speech. The tantrums and upsets were due to her daughter knowing what she wanted to communicate but physically being unable to consistently form the words she wanted. It's absolutely understandable why that would be frustrating!!! As for me, I know I was a difficult child thanks to my ADHD, but at least my mom knew what ADHD was, got me diagnosed early, AND my dad could actually empathize because I most definitely came by my ADHD honestly (i.e. from him)!
I believe EVERYONE has the capacity to learn except those with profound disabilities, yet, even they exude emotion. A diagnosis helps in determining the best practice in helping the "person" learn ( with the brain). Emotion, on the other hand, has no intellectual component so unless it's 'managed" by the intellect, and unless the intellect understands the reasons for and how, to manage high emotional reactivity , the result is "people who are emotionally out of control." This is why, unless a "person" has either been taught, had it modelled beautifully within the family ( Eg. Catherine Middleton - wow excellent parents) , learned by inference which is how kids learn in school or have emotional control taught explicitly to them, kids with learning disabilities ( and Asperger's IS diagnosed as an LD because the "person" can't learn through inference) students with disorders/disabilities get FRUSTRATED and "act out" because they can't communicate their emotions. In ordinary people, professionals call it immaturity😅😅
Only a few minutes in and i feel like I was very similar to teagon in actions and the way she interacts with her peers. I am now an adult and I'm trying to get diagnosed but I as well as most all friends and family believe I am autistic. watching her in the beginning rn is tough I feel really bad for her, hopefully the school helps though
These teachers were great. They talked to the parents as if they were kids with calm voices, active listening, and gave positive reinforcement and the kids in turn acted better 😂
They were wonderful. A lot of the moms were unnecessarily aggressive (Daisys mom) and although I get the frustration.. I think Daisy wouldn’t be as “bad behaved” if mom was a little more patient/understanding with her. Like how she said she has been difficult since she was 2 weeks old, as if she MEANT to be as a newborn. Idk. Sounds like she’s tired and resents Daisy in a way.
Parenting is the hardest job that you never get training for. It’s crazy that people expect to be ‘naturally’ good at parenting. It is great to have people help :)
Same. I found with my friends and relatives kids that this type of behavior began with a new sibling. The attention is taken away from the older sibling and they become frustrated at this change. One would even try to hit the baby. Mostly they were angry and would throw things and hit things because they couldn't verbalize their frustration/anger. As they got a bit older and could talk about it, things got better.
These kids are stressed out! They're actions look exactly like the outward manifestation of what I WISH I could do sometimes when I'm overwhelmed or anxious - I just don't do it. They don't have the ability to explain their feelings are explain what's bothering them. Instead of punishing and yelling at them, someone needs to take the time to figure out what's overwhelming these kids! Comfort them, and help them learn how to express their needs in better ways.
They can use their inside voice. They are obviously in charge here. Look, it is all sigle parents. I am a single parent and my boy Never took advantage of me. These women let their children walk all over them. The kids know whats up.. I have not seen one be punished. 1,2, 3, Magic. A time out chair. This is the most ridiculus school I have ever seen!!! JUST A BUNCH OF SPOILED CHILDREN!
Absolutely. These kids need compassion. It's like being mad at someone for not knowing your language. Actually, it's almost exactly like that. Kids need to be taught, not punished for not knowing how to regulate their minds and bodies.
@@KimberSly these kids are not being taught! Its like the moms are afraid to show them the way. My son NEVER BEHAVED THIS WAY! And I am a single parent! It was so hard, but life is not so kind. We must teach our children how to cope with stress and Not getting what they want if they are going to behave like little monsters!
there's another very likely reason: they get everybody's attention by missbeheaving( remember tha saying "there's no such thing as bad publicity", this is quite the same). Recently, I've been playing music at this church, there are no kids, but there's this girl, I believe she's 3 yrs old or less, and spends the whole service playing around the altar It was pretty obvious she was putting up a show for us, firstly because despite having a huge temple for her misschiefs, she chose where everybody would be looking at her. Secondly, if nobody did anything, she'd double down. We the musicians didn't interact with her, so she tried to catch the violinist's attention by throwing a ball at him, since he didn't react, she proceeded to aim at the violin case, then to the violin itself...HUUUGE MISTAKE. Never mess with a musician's instrument 😄. He trapped the ball between his feet, and when she approached to take it, he told her " you shouldn't be throwing it here, you might hurt someone". I didn't think it would work, but it did. She quitted the ball game. Then she proceeded to tear Bibles apart, but the violinst was there to play music, not lecturing toddlers😄.
Frankie’s mom seems to be on the right path to success for both her and her son, she wants to better understand him and why he acts the way he does so she can conform to his needs. She sees that he his different and wants to do right by him. That’s so great.
It is fantastic that all these children that are labeled difficult are getting help, but they don't seem to be addressing the underlying reasons. As a mom of two neurodivergent (asd, adhdh, odd) kids, you notice the common traits when you see it. It's unfortunate that nothing was really said by the experts to the parents about seeking testing. No amount of gentle parenting is going to help a kid with asd in the middle of a meltdown. They don't have the executive skills in those moments to hear anything or try to come down. Sometimes a meltdown is about stress, being overwhelmed, over stimulation, under stimulation, etc.
ODD as well? I'm not remotely religious but beyond, "Go with God," there's almost zero advice that will help you. You've got a long, hard road ahead and I wish you the very best. Stay safe. ❤
This was a program directed at parents changing they way they parent. The UK would not put children on TV that they thought were needing extra interventions.This similar to nanny 911 where parents and children learn to work together.
Absolutely agree. My child doesn’t respond to gentle parenting at all. Only reacts positively if there are more rules and disciplinary actions and knows the outcomes if she misbehaves.
I wouldn't bet my life. I'd give it a 90+% chance that the kids bad behavior is probably the parents fault, but there's always exceptions. Rarely sure, but often enough that I don't want to risk my life :D
THIS. Besides the fact that neither of those things exist & are fictional {in my opinion}, it feels like they are trying to subconsciously deflect from the possibility that their parenting is actually what’s to blame for these behaviors, not a ghost. 0 self-reflection on their part, but I am very glad that they were given the opportunity to learn, hands-on, from professionals!
Clearly society has an indifferent view of who should take parenting classes. As a teen mom, now Granny, those classes were invaluable. I took them throughout my son's childhood. I was extremely blessed to have such a well behaved child. Every parent IMO should absolutely take parenting classes. And if your child has special needs, they have resources to help.
I was hoping to see some lessons on self-calming skills taught to both Teagan and her mother. They told the mom to stop her tantrums before they escalate, but mom gets just as worked up as the little girl. They took away her comfort items and didn't replace with a healthy alternative.
Right? I wonder if she could be on the autism spectrum. She feels things quite big and needs safe space to settle and things to stim with. From Orlando, FL
@@kelthrives9109 I haven't finished the entire video but so far I am really surprised that neurodivergence hasn't been a major part of the conversations that are taking place. Not only to get the kiddos the help they need but to also help the parents better understand their children.
Yes, useless. The blanket is her comfort. It is her security. Malachi has already "stolen" her mum from her 100% attention. Why make her feelings of not being heard, worse.
@@dontforgettodoodle4013 there are multiple disorders that can cause behavior issues, ones that are far more severe than what’s depicted here even, like three year olds breaking people’s noses and stuff, it gets pretty serious. I also happen to know many teachers, one who just retired and taught special education as well as gen Ed, and she says that kids have always had behavioral issues and other delays, but that it is getting more common, so I find it unlikely this teacher “never had a problem with the children” or if she didn’t, perhaps the children who needed the special supports were getting it outside her classroom.
@@louderthanwordsInclusivityI assumed that the teacher meant Most of the problems stemmed from the Parents parenting lacking/failure there of or over the top parenting. Obviously there are a few out lyer children who just have a disorder or disability or divergeny that is the cause of behavioural problems. But many times those disorders are worsened by Parents failing to know(uneducated) how/what to do to mitigate or fix. Or unfortunately many time Parents intentionally ignore the known ways to fix/mitigate behaviors because they dont want to put forth the effort or just acknowledge their kids different. Thats ignoring all the kids who dont have a, brain difference reason, issues are all stemming form the Failure of the Parents not parenting.
You are 100% correct!!! I taught secondary school as well as Special Education and I noticed that although every student IS different, the ones with the emotional problems actually had NO limits, & had been raised with no rules - Their parents never taught them " No, Yes and Stop" I don't understand how 'parents" view themselves as 'parents' anymore because they're certainly not parenting.
When my little girl got angry, first I felt so helpless. Then I started to ask her: Honey, do you have an uninvited visitor? Is it the dragon or the witch? - The witch, mum!- Shall we send her away, out of the door? Left or right? - Left!! Go away!!! - Ha! Did you see her escape?- Yes, mum, I feel better now. Anna from Germany, my girl turned to a happy young woman today.
I worked at kindercare for 3 years, as well as another daycare and these aggressive behaviors are becoming more and more common unfortunately. Absent parenting is the #1 reason. Parents pay more attention to their phones now than their children. Friend parenting is another problem; parents want to be friends with their children first and be their parents second. They don’t put their foot down enough for children to realize that no means no. Lastly, a lot of these children with extreme behavior trouble are on the autism spectrum somewhere, but aren’t always diagnosed. High functioning autism is real and I’ve met kids with it whom I wouldn’t have guessed had it. Take your children to their pediatrician and talk to them for accommodations.
What I feel like this show glosses over is how these children will likely need this kind of intensive management throughout their education and at home. The second they find themselves overwhelmed without someone to immediately correctly identify and respond to it, the maladaptive behavior will reassert itself. Mainstream school teachers don't have the time and training. Parents are exhausted from working, caring for other children, and compassion fatigue for the kids' needs for time and attention. This show makes it look easy, but it's not so simple when you don't have 10 hands 24/7. Once children like this tune out of their education experience because they aren't getting the intervention they need, they're going to suffer and act out because these kids are wired differently.
Parents want to be friends with their children. "My mom and I are besties" more common today, my parents hardly even knew where we were at most times. It's a challenge today of course so many distractions
I’m a school social worker at the elementary level and I have a ton of empathy for these kids. With this said, Teagan’s poor baby brother!!! Can you imagine getting yelled at and feeling like your sibling hates you when you’re so little and vulnerable? 😢
Well…I felt like my sisters hated me. However, I was not a toddler; I was 10 years old. Those feelings stayed with me and worsened as I got older into the teen years.
@@scarter8137 That’s unfortunate. I felt that way about my 1st oldest sister when I was in high school. And I felt that way about my 2nd oldest sister when I was a kid up to 17 years old.
When my elder son was 3 he threw himself onto the floor in a packed Marks and Spencers store. Everybody froze and stared at him. I walked a few steps from him and faced him so I could keep a close eye on him. I pretended to look through a clothes rail, whilst watching him for safety reasons. He stopped 3 times to see if I was reacting. Then he started kicking and screaming again, after each pause, to get a reaction.( He didn't want to shop!!) I wasn't going to react!! He decided this was a waste of time, stood up and stood quietly next to me. I asked was he "finished being naughty ?" He replied " yes mummy, I'm sorry" I held his hand and it was END OF DRAMA!!! It never happened again because this behaviour wasn't ' rewarded'. Nor did I scream like a banshee or smack him. I never physically 'disciplined' either of my sons as I would never forgive myself. Nor was I ever smacked as a child. That is failed parenting and abuse, right there. My sons are now kind, caring, intelligent, gentle, funny Adults who are loved and adored by their proud parents, My husband and i ♥
Yea great way to handle that situation.....mothers of today need to be assessed before having children they don't have a clue ....the child seems to be ruling the parents
@@geraldineowens7001 I have so many questions about this comment. How do you assest someone that hasn't gone through something yet? I didn't have my child yet and I was constantly working at daycares and LOVED IT!!! I worked all the way up until I had her and came back. Over time things happened that became stressors and also with her growing that was a stressor too. But I had help with learn why she was doing what she was doing and was able to understand. So what about those that dont seek help or don't understand it once it giving? What would you do? How would you punish them? And then what happens if someone fails this test before they have kids. Will they be forced to have there reproductive system taken out?????
Programs like this are so helpful for both child and parents. My youngest at age 6 went through a program called Dinosaur School and it included classes for the parents. It really helped.
I found this refreshing. They aren't overly concerned with labeling these kids. Sometimes kids and parents just need guidance regardless of whether or not there is something more going on.
@@pagejames8754 A lot of comments are saying that these kids are special needs and they are wondering why they don't comment on it in the video. I think it's good they aren't bringing it up because, yes, some of this could be the kids just reacting to the parents or the kids just need better coping skills.
@@pagejames8754 I’m also confused on whether you’re discussing specific children or all of them? Because we didn’t even see all of them, much less enough for anyone educated in this field to theorize whether it is more parenting related or a possible developmental and neurological concern-not to mention that you do know that behavior issues can be cause by other environmental factors beyond parenting correct?
Parents always could use guidance, but ESPECIALLY if there is a developmental , neurological, or psychological condition. I’m not saying all of these children have special needs, I don’t think they do. However I’m seeing a lot of comments of people shaming the parents, assuming that if the day care staff are helping guide the parents toward solutions then they must just be incompetent and have been doing something wrong, but what people don’t realize is that NO ONE parents perfectly and everyone could use guidance, the issue is that some children just have traits that cause more behavioral disruption is structured settings, while others have special needs full stop, but they are difficult to even recognize this young, and with those children parents don’t have room for not doing things to the T perfect for THEIR child to handle THEIR specific needs, where other parents with less difficult children do. It seems there’s this weird dichotomy between people who believe that your child’s either perfectly behaved or you’re a bad parent, or those who believe that anything and everything with a slight variation from typical is a disability, and the reality lies somewhere in the middle. Development is not linear, even for behavior, children have diverse traits, and special needs parents need to parent differently and will need parenting guidance as well as any other parent.
Tigen's mom makes me so angry. She just screams at her child and clearly lacks empathy for her daughter's distress. If it was so stressful having just 1 kid, maybe don't have a 2nd?
It's easy to watch from the outside and make an assessment. I cannot imagine the desperation of her mom. She seems like she may be autistic or nuerodivergent...I am not a professional, but just based on things I know from friends with kids who have these challenges.
She screams at her and in turn Tegan screams at her baby brother. I’m glad they got some help and guidance. Raising kids is overwhelming and sometimes it truly does take a village.
I can only imagine how stressful it must be to be a young mum with two little ones, but you're going to raise a reactive child if you're modelling that negative behaviour. Tigan feels out of control and is acting out, which is exactly what her mother is demonstrating when she's shouting/emotional. So beautiful to see her mother committed to trying to work on her own behaviour, she's a good mum:)
🤔 He wasn't being remanded for his refusal to sit still, though; he was being evaluated for his *inability* be still, present, and to interact with others when he clearly wanted to. My guess is that if Franky's mom had brought him in for no other concern than he preferred to stand while he does his work, the professionals would have diagnosed him with a "quirk," and the treatment plan would be slightly different. 💁♀️
ADD, ADHD, and ODD. they need to teach these parents about these. ADHD isn’t just “hyperactive behavior” and if that’s the only thing that’s being treated it will not help in the long run. the first two kids really reminded me of some kids i used to work with / myself. the first little girl especially, gives me ADD / maybe on the spectrum. treating her outbursts like “drama” will never help that little girl. these kids just need some structure, educated parents, and positive reinforcement. praying for all🙏🏾💞
i guess people need to stop engaging and idealizing this hyper diagnostic tendency, because it can be very, very harmful, especially when it comes to little children. I mean, you're right: these kids just need some structure, educated parents and positive reinforcement, and not having their behavior medicalized with medical reports that will leave them one step away from spending the rest of their lives taking medication. We need to remember that Ritalin and other medications given for ADHD (and others) do not even have studies of the long-term effects on those who take them since they were children, nor is it recommended on the package insert for children under 12 years old. USA is living an epidemic of child medicalization very similar to what ends up in american adults addicted to pain medication.
First thing I noticed with the one boy was hand flapping and no eye contact so these definitely made me think there are things these parents need to explore
I agree regarding ADD/ADHD (plus autism spectrum as well ) but ODD is too often applied as a dismissive diagnosis to children who actually have one of the other conditions that has gone undiagnosed &/or has atypical presentation or doesn't respond as expected to usual interventions (which sadly often rely on behavior management techniques that can often just make things even harder for a child already struggling to cope with challenges of neurotypical expectations )
Why can’t they have their safety blanket or plushie when they start school? It’s such a simple thing to keep them comforted in new situations. I DON’T think the blankie is what keeps her separated, it’s a symptom of her social anxiety. Focus on that, not the blanket. Adults do it too with fidgets & phones, thought we got further than this. Pacifiers I understand as it can/will cause tooth issues & delayed speech.
My son got braces at ten years old and the dentist asked if he ever used a pacifier and he did for a year or so. He said too bad he didn’t do it longer because he has a narrow arch and the pacifier would of help his mouth grow in a way that would of been better.
They don't allow these things most likely because they capture the attention of the other children thereby distracting them, also kids will fight over objects. Children also do not keep up items very well so if the blanket were to be ruined, lost or stolen this would cause a new set of problems. Also they can trip over the blanket while walking down the hall. There are a lot of reasons.
I'll have to agree with @Jamiesshinn4355: If the kid is really attached to his/her comfort object, taking it to school creates a whole new set of issues which these teachers have already dealt with. If some kid is extremely zealous about the conditions of the comfort object, they might get the meltdown of their lives if other kid say accdentally colours it with crayon.
I have several adhd and social anxiety. A blanket would not have distracted me. My adhd symptoms would. But my symptoms would let me become a scholar of the teacher made it interesting enough for kids.
As a kindergarten teacher, it’s bc their comfort item is a big distraction and keeps them from participating fully. If you allow one child to have it, they all want to bring something, which would obviously be a huge problem, so they have to make it a group rule. You wouldn’t believe how quickly they forget all about it when they see that no one else in school has one.
As a kid who bit their arms when angry or upset all the way up to third grade, I seriously wish someone had shown me an alternative instead. I remember just feeling so incredibly overwhelmed with emotion and the only way I knew how to release that emotion was to clamp down on my arm or my hand and squeeze my eyes shut. I did end up growing out of it, but now that I’m a teenager with extreme anxiety and difficulty managing emotions, I do still find myself biting my knuckles from time to time when I feel like that.
I used to bite the cuticles off my fingers until I bled 😢 the things that help me the most are heat and deep pressure, like a hot water bottle or weighted blanket. I needed to be held a lot more often than I was as a kid….
@@cannedbees8974 Don't give up, try again to find a therapist that can help you. Preferably one who works with a psychiatrist or someone who can prescribe anti-anxiety meds. They really helped my daughter get a hold of her anxiety. Look at this less as something is wrong with you, but more like your brain is radio and with therapy and/or medication trying to get tuned to the right frequency so you're able to clearly function.
Love the concept of teaching parents how to respond or not respond to their childrens behavior, and also giving them tools to help redirect the children so everyone has a positive experience. Laverne Antrobus should be commended for providing this service to children and their parents. Well Done!
I am a special education teacher in the States to young children with extreme developmental delays / needs and I so agree! Some of the parents I work with are fabulous. It is exhausting being a parent, let alone to a child with exceptional needs. These parents deserve a lot of grace. That being said, some of the parents/guardians of the kids I work with either don’t care, don’t know what to do (most common), or are so busy/preoccupied with home life they just can’t manage. I SO wish there could be some kind of program that worked with these parents individually, as well as along side their kids. Even if it’s online / zoom calling. Just …. Something. There is such a disconnect. I often feel like all the hard work we do in school just becomes totally unraveled at their home life. It’s no one’s fault really, other than the system. Sometimes it feels a bit hopeless, but I know this is where I’m supposed to be and I’ll never give up on giving these kiddos a safe space for a bit of their day.
People seem to be harsh on the parents aka comment section. A third party or a mediator helps see things differently. The parents have bazillion other things to deal with n think about. I'm not going to play the blame game, like folks here. Parents needs a hand up/kindness n love (they are exhausted), judging them, ain't going anywhere, except in frustrations.
Thank you! I’m not a parent but I see tons of parent shaming and I think that’s wrong. Parents are people too and thus make mistakes, they aren’t perfect human beings, and let’s face it, every parent messes their kids up in someways so all you can do is try your best and love your child unconditionally.
Have these kids been tested for autism or adhd. It’s wrong to call them naughty. There will always be a relevant underlying issue to explain these behaviours. If they are being labelled naughty if they are neurodivergent then these poor kids won’t get the appropriate help they need.
Don't be that afraid of having a child. The children may had lack of feeling of safety as a baby. There is a lot of study around trauma, that can't be remembered by a baby but it has very intense effects on a person's personality.
Being childfree is a very valid choice. I worked as a child development specialist in a similar setting to this video, and I am quite happy I decided by my late twenties to remain childless. I loved working with children for many years but that enough for me. Very happily retired from that career now.
@@rezangyalos believe me not worth the risk, especially this day and age. Authorities say you can't discipline ( I don't mean spank either, but rules and consequences) then when you follow authorities way they want you to do things and kid turns out to be unsafe or problems they blame the parents. Can't win in this society
When I watched Supernanny, I learned that a lot of these "behaviors" stem from either of the parents not spending enough undistracted quality time with their children. Additionally that the bad behaviors stem from inside the home, the chaos inside the home, etc- so trying to 'watch and learn' about the children's problems while on premises of the school building is NOT ideal- they need to go inside and watch inside their homes.
I am a bit annoyed at the use of “meltdown” Teagan had a “meltdown” about her comforter not a TANTRUM. Yet daisy has “meltdowns” when they are tantrums, because she keeps looking to see what the adults are doing
This is so needed! Here in the US, I’m pretty sure most of these youngsters would be put on medications straight away rather than first getting a professional child behavioral expert assessment and behavior modification plan. My hat is off to all involved in this effort, especially these patient parents!
@@Naomi-ls5kl I didn't say any of that. I was saying that's what doctors often do. I feel like it doesn't matter what you have or whats going on it's all a misunderstanding at the end of the day. And unfortunately kids can't communicate how they feel. And for others to understand that feeling 🤷🏾♀️. I try to understand what my daughter goes through everyday and I can't. And she is not bad or has a mental problem. She may be sad or mad at the time and can't express why
Amen! 🙏🏻🙏🏼✌️😥 Fact's! And psychiatric drugs are dangerous! To other's And themself! 99% of School etc massac r perpetrators has been on lot of psychiatric drugs Antidepressants SSRI Snri Neuro toxin drugs and stimulants ANTIPSYCHOTICS lithium Etc:'(.
I am gunna be honest here but I probably needed to be on medication but I wasn't. So instead of getting medication I got given coffee to calm me down. I had and still do have a hard time sitting still, due to ADHD. So there is a place for medication but not all children need medication obviously.
Kids will do anything for attention, negative or positive.. It's sad that we are build to have kids at a young age because with age comes an ease and a higher emotional intelligence to take care and educate little ones.
I used to work as a conflict resolution person. For years I was saying that we need to teach conflict resolution in grade school. Give them personal skills, early on. I did with my children and those skills have served them all their lives.
The patience of these teachers is amazing. They are well-trained in child psychology. I hope they make a really good salary because they are performing a very valuable service. I can't help comparing them with American nursery school teachers, who are usually well-intentioned but woefully underpaid and not usually trained at all.
I think before judgment, take a step back and try to understand each child. Each child has different needs and each parent doesn't have the tools to do that as much as they try. I applaud them for seeking help and willingness to help. There isn't anything "common" about "common sense". We only know what we know. The challenge is following through at home. I do hope they do, otherwise the naughty behavior will just get worse. If they do follow through, their relationship will most likely strengthen their relationships.
I want to start off with there is no absolute rule book to parenting. Parenting is hard and full of the thought of making the "right decision" and it's okay to look for help when you need it. Parents learn their parenting skills through their parental figures through life and, often times, we try so hard to break the cycle from our parents that we can get lost, too. But anyway, these parents realized they needed help, and took the steps into receiving that. These resources are amazing and should be provided everywhere!
This program is so important! Having taught in an elementary school for 10 years, I've encountered a number of difficult children. My degrees are in psychology but had to make a living to raise my two daughters. I wished I could work with the children needing help with their behaviors but couldn't teach and modify extreme behaviors. If we had more therapy centers like this in America, we would have more adjusted children. Early intervention is important!
Tegan has been moved out of her role as a baby, and been moved into the role of big sister. The problem is, she wants to be the baby still, therefore, the blanket and the pacifier, are things she holds on to. Kids need limits, and to know they arent the ones calling the shots. In the situations in this film, its helpful to see the situation of each child from a different perspective, then that of the parent.
Tegan is gripping onto that blanket and soother because no adult has helped regulate her emotions. She displaces all of the signs of an emotionally neglected child. I don't think it's her moving out from the baby role but rather the neglect of a mother with an infant. I don't think the blanket and pacifier are being used to "act out" like a baby. I think her development has regressed from clearly displayed neglect, those items might be the most dependable thing she finds comfort in.
@@user-hm8uw9yd1oI agree. She wasn’t upset because she “didn’t get what she wanted”. She was upset because she needed to feel comforted, and her pacifier and blanket gave her comfort. They should’ve let her let those things go when she’s ready, not force it. I don’t understand why having a security blanket of sorts is a disciplinary issue. It’s ridiculous.
My son is 13 and still sleeps and cuddles his tiny stuffed dog that is the size of a lemon. He's had it since he was a baby. Also, my uncle is in his 60s and he still has his comfort blanket from when he was a young child. He still to this day can not sleep with out it and will bring it on all of our trips to the lake or on vacations. Anywhere he stays over night. There's abosulety nothing wrong with having something that comforts and calms you down. Its a great tool that anyone especially with anxiety should have.
I see so many of you diagnosing these children with all kinds of things and saying they need medications. These children are probably 4 years old. Medication isn’t the first course of action. I’m a medically retired Pediatric PA and the saddest thing about society today is how quickly they put a label on kiddos and decide the only answer is to medicate them. Sometimes all it takes is time, discipline and attention. Leave the diagnosis process to the professionals.
My daughter’s also with her comfort blanket, but I never take it from her at home except meal time. I’ve seen the Linus’s story from peanuts, which he insisted how precious it is for him. So I would recommend not to deprive children of their last resort.
Both of my kids have comfort toys. My husband once thought it was appropriate to punish our (at the time, 4ish year old) son by taking away his blanket. I was out that night with my friends. I came home and our lil dude was STILL screaming, and apparently it had been going on for over 2 hours. I was LIVID and IMMEDIATELY gave it back to him and held him. Lil man was asleep within 15 minutes in my arms. I told my husband that he was to NEVER take away comfort toys EVER as a punishment for ANYTHING, that it doesn't teach them ANYTHING only makes them feel more alone and distressed. He never did it again.
@@MagicalMandi IT's likely "so needed" by your child because you're also convinced "it's so needed". Be a parent, not an enabler. If you're not sure how to ween your child from her blanket, ask for help. There are very positive ways to go about this. No one's asking you to tear it from her arms and burn it in front of her! There are ways that will make her feel very grown up and very confident in herself. The more you baby her and allow that blanket to be a crutch, the more harm you're doing to her normal development. Do you want her to grow up feeling good about herself, or dragging a blanket around until she's 10?
I'm almost 26 and I still have my baby blanket. I carry her whenever I go anywhere over night. I even would take her with me to elementary school and just kept her in my backpack. It really bothered me to see them take away Tegan's blanket. Thankfully it didn't push her further away but it definitely would have if it were me. I was also very withdrawn and didn't integrate very well with other kids, even when I didn't have my blanket in my arms. I have memories playing alone often even in daycare. I rarely played with anyone else because I found it hard to communicate and interact with them in general
as a former "trouble child" its so heartbreaking to hear how these mums speak about their kids in front of them. My parents told me all my childhood what a difficult child I was, how "uncontrollable" (I had tantrums like the one girl here), and how bad behaved I am. This made me think "if I am uncontrollable, no one can do anything about it, so I cant change it." I just thought, these labels, thats what I am. I am uncontrollable, so why learn to controll it? My parents never learned how to deal with me, and it took me years of therapy to learn to accept my reactions and emotions, to name them, and to learn how to deal with myself in a healthy manner. I just hope these parents learn that before their children pick up being uncontrollable as their way of thinking about themselfs.
As a practicing behavior analyst, I appreciate these videos and helping these children cope with their emotions. This is an extremely difficult job and the patience these professionals have is God sent. ❤
Some of this actually makes me cry. It’s so wonderful. My child a handful is 24 now. And in some ways he’s still a handful. But I wish I would’ve had some of this guidance. My goodness this woman is a miracle worker staff is like angels.
I absolutely love this..children can't express themselves bc they aren't born with knowing. Just need time and a village to notice and help with problem solving..heaven if all children had this
I suspect many of these kids have neurodivergensies which if assessed and worked around, would be much more beneficial. Coming from somebody with autism, I never wanted to play in groups as a kid, had meltdowns if I was sensory overloaded, overall very particular. I was just seen as a difficult child until I was diagnosed at 15.
The title of a great parenting book is "How to Behave So Your Kids Will Too" by Sal Severe. The parents need training on HOW to enforce obedience with house rules and THEN when kids misbehave they get time out. To do timeouts that really work, watch Supernanny episodes and do each part in order, not forgetting any one part. While it is true that some kids are autistic or have special needs, many of these kids just need structure at home, rules that are posted, discussed often, and enforced, with praise when the child does something correctly or tries hard to do something asked of him. Tegan still using a pacifier (which restricts her acquisition of speech), and the blanket illustrate her insecurity. I depended a GREAT deal on a lovey, but they did stay at home.
Tigan has symptoms of autism. And other toddlers too. It's heartbreaking to see these struggles in toddlers since I had similar struggles. And molding Tigan into masking and behaving a certain way is for the neurotypical environment good but when she grows older she forgets about her needs which happens to women with high masking autism. She will develop other symptoms because of that like depression, self doubt, etc
They need Jo Frost, Super Nanny. She educates the parents how to deal with the behaviours of the children which are largely due to the response to them by the parents. Obviously some children do have psychological issues which need to be considered but the majority are resolved when the children realise that negative behaviour has consequences and is not rewarded by gaining the parents attention.
Many years ago (it was the 1950’s), one of my friend’s brothers was quite attached to his blanket. He was so attached to it that when it absolutely needed to be washed, that the little guy would sit and watch the blanket go through the wash (front loading washer). After the cycle was through, he would sit by the back door and watch it dry on the line. Neighborhood lore had it that he carried a piece of it in his wallet even as an adult.
@@marykeegan2606I'm 36 and still have mine. I used to bring a smaller version of it to work with me in my pocket and I could stick my hand in and rub it a bit when my anxiety was high.
As a parent who has been there twice...on and off, both difficult children who needed different parenting, I can relate to the exhaustion and defeatist attitudes. You have love for your children, but absolutely loathe the behaviors they shoe on a constant basis. When all you see is negative, it's very hard to find any positive.
Boy, times change. For the better, of course. When I was little these children just got beat until they shut up. Now people try to actually understand and help them.
I think this also shows how important a familie is. Its sad to see that all these Moms where mostly alone with there kids. These Kids need some time with there fathers ... and the moms need some distance/time out to have a better time with the child....
This was great. Although there are some of the children that probably are neurodivergent or have possible learning disorders that should be addressed. I was really worried about the little girl getting frustrated with no being able to communicate because I don't think I heard her speak at all. This usually requires an medical intervention of some kind of of speech therapy to help. Frankie could probably really use different kind of therapies as well to help with pretty clear ADHD symptoms. I really hope these psychologist outside of the show are really doing their jobs as psychologist and getting them proper long-term support. This is not the fault of the parents or children.
Taking away the comfort blanket from a little girl completely in distress? She needed lots of hugs and comforting. There is so much anxiety behind her behavior.
As a preschool teacher myself, one child out of control can derail the whole class. Let alone having 2 or 3 kids acting out. These teachers do an excellent job addressing behavior.
Kids are mirrors of us. Kids cannot understand or verbalize what they feel so they act it out. The problem is that parents have stopped parenting, parents don't reflect on what example they are setting for their kids and they don't talk to their kids to try to hear what's bothering them.. it's sad..
My kid know that look well. I do not play, what kind if day they have depends on their behavior period. These parents don't spend any real time with their kids
It's so wild how it takes a while for the parents faces to relax or smile they've been carrying these worries for so so long for their children. Eveyrone did a great job all around.
Watching Tegan has been amazing. It shows that what we label as "naughty", is often a lack of confidence brought on by some form of neuro divergent trates. This program is teaching us a lot about what we percieve vs what is really going on with most kids.
My niece is 17 inhigh school and still keeps her security blanket...she is popular and plays a lot of sports.. if it comforts someone..them them keep it. It's not like a pacifier where it's going to physically damage anything
I agree. I am 33 and still sleep with a stuffy. Who cares. It’s partially for comfort and also for how my arms rest when I sleep and make it more comfortable. I’ve gone without it and it doesn’t hurt anyone
I am on the autistic spectrum and some of them looks like me as a kid... I hope they will receive the support that they need and not be force and have unecersary trauma..
You notice that most of these kids have younger siblings? Mom has another baby, the child is no longer the center of attention until they start acting out. Imagine NOT knowing you have to spend more time with your child when you have another? smH.
@Bailey Rodgers : Exactly, my heart broke watching Tigan having to cope w/ having her soothers taken away ,she wasn't being willful she was overwhelmed . If she is nerodivergent this is cruel .
I felt that way too cause I’m 36 high functioning autistic and have a friend who a non verbal autistic that always has toys too keep him from getting overwhelmed
She not autistic or something wrong with Teagan self confidence she need .i was a very shy girl never liked to have group chats im not autistic in a long way .people have to stop using the autism
I'm autistic and can have a full blown conversation autism is on a spectrum there are different levels of functioning Frankie is displaying symptoms as well@@dominiquepilon5910
Raising children is the greatest test of patience Mums and Dads will ever face. I pray that if a parent does have kids that act like, that they will get their kiddos checked out. It seems the sooner they are helped the better for them. And its good to find out everyway you and the family can help these little ones. Bless them, its probably frustrating for them as well.❤
Why is there always a clip of a kid sobbing when they want to show a "naughty" child? Crying isn't naughty. They are learning to deal with their emotions. It can be annoying to listen to, but their not trying to annoy you, they are just upset.
Pro tip - if a kid inadvertently or purposely punches or hits you, cry out like you are in intense pain and put your hands over your eyes like you are crying, say OWWW. It works actually for pets and kids, as long as they arent sociopaths.
This absolutely works. My daughter will smack me in the face randomly and I say “oh no you hit me, ow, I’m sad, I cry.” And I make a sad face. Then she starts petting my face and looks concerned and says “I’m sorry mommy” and I say “I forgive you but please don’t hit me again, it makes me sad” Long story short, her hitting behavior has gone from multiple times a day to maybe 1 time a day. Toddlers don’t understand cause and effect so teaching them early really helps.
Every unruly child is today „neurodivergent“ or „ on the spectrum“. Everything is a „trauma“ and when older everyone has depression, anxiety, panicattacks, etc.. And always people without any medical training do the diagnosing. Instead of excuses some good old strict parenting usually fixes the problems.
You've obviously not dealt with a neurodivergent child. Obviously not every unruly child is neurodivergent, but a lot of neurodivergent children are “unruly”. Which is because their brains don’t work the same as neurotypical childrens brain which means they might not be able to communicate the same and overall work the same and in the same environments as neurotypical kids. More kids are neurodivergent today because in todays world a lot of people can recognize the symptoms, hopefully as early as possible and get their kids evaluated. In the United States, child and adolescent psychiatric training requires 4 years of medical school, at least 4 years of approved residency training in medicine, neurology, and general psychiatry with adults, and 2 years of additional specialized training in psychiatric work with children, adolescents and their families. In other words, very medically trained. And yes when people are older it’s not uncommon to experience anxiety or have panic attacks. In your teens everything is changing and you can explore the world more which will welcome you to different feelings, such as anxiety or getting depressed. And no good old strict parenting is going to cure neurodivergence. You should probably do some research before making such an ignorant comment.
I strongly suspect Frankie has ADHD, and I hope his parents follow through to get him diagnosed and treated. With Teagan…I was a lot like this as a kid. Very angry and argumentative, yelled a lot, emotional control issues, lots of screaming matches and tantrums. I was also a totally different kid at school. Not as withdrawn as Tiegan, but I had a lot of social difficulties. I suspect the mom’s yelling and anger are really fueling the fire here. Kids learn what they’re taught. If their parents yell at them, they might yell back! At a minimum, they’re going to have a hard time learning the emotional regulation skills they need to be successful. I hope mom can change her approach now.
My friend got her son away from his blanket by cutting it smaller and smaller every time she washed it. It kept shrinking. Eventually it was smaller than a handkerchief. 😂
That's what my mom did for my brother, so that by the time he started kindergarten it was a square small enough to fit in his pocket so he could take it to school with him and no one at school even knew about it (he wanted to take it with him, but was scared the other kids would call him a baby so when at school he never took it out of his pocket). To get rid of his baby bottle at 2.5 yrs old, my aunt came over one day and just took it with her when she left because everyone in the family felt it was a little ridiculous that he was still on a bottle (he was the youngest and my mom let some things go on a little too long).
@@apopuffkin1717 Parents often do this, not knowing much about child development and what the basic milestones are for each age. Supernanny has some unique ways to discarding the pacifiers. The child and Supernanny collect all the pacifiers in the home, put them in a colorful paper bag and hang it out on a tree. Then at night the Paci Fairy comes and takes the bag and leaves a present, leaving a note and thanking the child for the pacifiers, which will now be given to babies who need them. Getting the girl Tegan to put aside her pacifier and finally lay aside her blanket, allowed her to more fully interact with her peers. The Mom can also take VERY short walks with Tegan, leaving the blanket at home just for the walk. Walks get longer and longer, and finally they can go to the shops without it. Soon Tegan will have learned that she doesn't need that blanket all the time, and it can stay home on her bed for bedtime. However, if she needs to go to the ER or hospital the lovey goes too. But not to school. It kills me to see 2-4 year olds in shops who still have their mouths plugged up with pacifiers which, at that age, they plainly no longer need. It retards their speech, retards their ability to use words rather than tantrums, to ask for things rather than pointing, etc. Children need to learn to speak as soon as they are able because self-expression and the acquisition of vocabulary are important. It is also easier to spot speech impediments and get them to a speech therapist who can work those out so the children can properly pronounce words.
As someone who grew up in an asian household ........ you can't dare throw a tantrum because slippers and hangers will be flying in your face. One look and you should already know what it means. You must stop and dont make her look at you again with those piercing stares .
I was going to say similar. Growing up the way I did, the thought never crossed my mind. Hispanic parents from the “old country” do not play this game.
And Black parents didn't play in my generation either. We were highly disciplined and there was no such thing as throwing tantrums without consequences! Whole different generation today. And it's not cute.
Tactical ignoring is very effective, for adults as well! My son spent the 1st 4 years of his life on the floor with tantrums. The more we’d try to reason with him, the worse it would get. After a while, I’d just step over him and tell him to come talk to me when he can use his words. He’d follow me from room to room, throwing himself on the floor in front of me. I’d just get up and go to another task. Once he figured out that this behavior earned him less attention rather than more, he stopped.
Do they have them follow up with therapists and early intervention? I feel some aren’t just fixable behaviors but possibly ND? I can see myself in Tigan a lot as a child. Unfortunately back then once in school they just stuck us “slow kids” into a separate classroom. Once I graduated high school, learned that having Autism didn’t make me dumb and figured out what interested me I went from being a poor student and hating school to getting near perfect scores in nursing school and becoming an RN.
I feel sorry for the children. A single mum! Why take the blanket off her? She’s only little. The expectation is for them to grow up so quickly and be in care for extended hours. It’s so sad! She just wants attention from her mum (and no doubt dad)
Many single moms have to work a full-time job to support themselves which puts the children in care. If the dads are not willing or able to give enough financial support, they are in a no-win situation.
This is the second time today I heard this comment and I work in an elementary school and these are from young women that work at the school. “This job is the best birth control
Having been involved with children of these ages, I found this documentary interesting and a valuable programme. Laverne summed up the aims of the programme really well "Parenting is not easy. " Being a parent, a carer, having young children in your life, has many challenges. We don't all have opportunities to learn parenting, or be parented, or to learn all about each individual child. I'd have liked to learn more about each child, whether diagnoses or other interventions are already in place. The ways that parents, families and carers might get ongoing supports, and how each child goes as they enter preschool programmes later on. The main point I'd like to make is that Tigan is still herself, no matter the behaviour, she is learning as she grows. Daisy will have plenty of time and space yet to learn other ways to respond when she is disappointed etc, and there are some great plans for Dylan to play in a calm, directed way, to avoid overstimulating and excitement building up to excess energy. In short, these are little humans, still growing and learning, and capable of so many great things as they grow
I am blown away they would call this the naughty nursery. It appears likely that a few of these children are neurodivergent and would really benefit from getting an evaluation instead of just getting called naughty and blaming it on the parenting. It is awesome that they are supporting these parents by giving them new strategies, growing their confidence and giving them hope. Raising a child with developmental issues is no easy task, a lot of y’all are being super critical of them without understanding the reality of their lives.
Agreed. I quickly suspected that Frankie has undiagnosed ADHD.
1000 times this! I am gobsmacked they are referring to it that way. Fair it's only the narrator and the production company but how tone deaf can they be. Someone needs to educate them, never mind the parents.
Nah, the British Isles are known for their high rates of mental disorders. It's mostly due to people not leaving their hometowns and essentially marrying relatives. Same with the Irish, the rates of schizophrenia and bipolar disorder are the highest on the planet.
I agree with this to a point. A lot of child behaviors are due to the parents not being well equipped. Yes a lot of nd kids exist but I think a lot of parents just need to go through parenting classes before having kids and it would help a lot.
Aren't they assessed before being placed there? I would imagine they are.
Can we please thank all of those mums / parents that they searched for help? And encourage them to continue doing so? 👏🏻 Instead of judging someone we know nothing about. All of them realized they needed help and searched for it. This is fantastic.
I would disagree they could have done it without filming kids that can’t say I want to be on tv for the world to judge
@@greysfreak1992 Filming it allows other parents to see when they need help with their children, strategies they can try, as well as where to get further help.
If this is the only nursery in Britain that serves kids with spectrum/severe ADHD then that's pretty sad. I volunteered with youth groups for decades. We had ZERO help when it came to kids with spectrum and ADHD. We learned how to manage, and the other children proved to be very patient and attentive to their peers with special needs. I'm chuckling at how these adults manage these kids. Place them in a mainstream nursery. I guarantee that their peers will be helpful in teaching them to manage their behavior.
❤❤❤❤@@aliyamoon80
100
I was like this straight from birth. My mom talks about how I had a phase where I basically acted like these kids as a toddler. I am now a diagnosed high functioning autistic person. I don't think we can call these kids bad as they're most likely neurodivergent or don't live in a healthy environment.
Yep. Or, as in the case of a coworker's child, there could be another learning or communication disorder. Fortunately my coworker was attentive and didn't assume it was her kid's fault, and her daughter was diagnosed with apraxia of speech. The tantrums and upsets were due to her daughter knowing what she wanted to communicate but physically being unable to consistently form the words she wanted. It's absolutely understandable why that would be frustrating!!! As for me, I know I was a difficult child thanks to my ADHD, but at least my mom knew what ADHD was, got me diagnosed early, AND my dad could actually empathize because I most definitely came by my ADHD honestly (i.e. from him)!
Same with my daughter! She was a teen before we got it figured out.
I believe EVERYONE has the capacity to learn except those with profound disabilities, yet, even they exude emotion. A diagnosis helps in determining the best practice in helping the "person" learn ( with the brain). Emotion, on the other hand, has no intellectual component so unless it's 'managed" by the intellect, and unless the intellect understands the reasons for and how, to manage high emotional reactivity , the result is "people who are emotionally out of control." This is why, unless a "person" has either been taught, had it modelled beautifully within the family ( Eg. Catherine Middleton - wow excellent parents) , learned by inference which is how kids learn in school or have emotional control taught explicitly to them, kids with learning disabilities ( and Asperger's IS diagnosed as an LD because the "person" can't learn through inference) students with disorders/disabilities get FRUSTRATED and "act out" because they can't communicate their emotions. In ordinary people, professionals call it immaturity😅😅
Only a few minutes in and i feel like I was very similar to teagon in actions and the way she interacts with her peers. I am now an adult and I'm trying to get diagnosed but I as well as most all friends and family believe I am autistic. watching her in the beginning rn is tough I feel really bad for her, hopefully the school helps though
me too. audistic and ptsd and trans.
These teachers were great. They talked to the parents as if they were kids with calm voices, active listening, and gave positive reinforcement and the kids in turn acted better 😂
The academy is actually for the parents! 😉
My sister is a clinical pediatric neuropsychologist [say that fast] and says the main thing wrong with kids like these is the parents.@@AnnaMorris411
They were wonderful. A lot of the moms were unnecessarily aggressive (Daisys mom) and although I get the frustration.. I think Daisy wouldn’t be as “bad behaved” if mom was a little more patient/understanding with her. Like how she said she has been difficult since she was 2 weeks old, as if she MEANT to be as a newborn. Idk. Sounds like she’s tired and resents Daisy in a way.
Parenting is the hardest job that you never get training for. It’s crazy that people expect to be ‘naturally’ good at parenting. It is great to have people help :)
There are parenting classes, that's training.
It shows pretty clearly how the parents are the ones to be educated not their kids. With them trained the kids will behave much much better.
Always
Absolutely.
My thoughts exactly! I’m old school.
How old is Titan she’s still got a pasifyer.
Whow what a comment. Great. It is actually too sad to say
My first question became "Was this same behavior present before the new siblings came?"... I was definitely impressed with this program 👍🏻
Same. I found with my friends and relatives kids that this type of behavior began with a new sibling. The attention is taken away from the older sibling and they become frustrated at this change. One would even try to hit the baby. Mostly they were angry and would throw things and hit things because they couldn't verbalize their frustration/anger. As they got a bit older and could talk about it, things got better.
These kids are stressed out! They're actions look exactly like the outward manifestation of what I WISH I could do sometimes when I'm overwhelmed or anxious - I just don't do it. They don't have the ability to explain their feelings are explain what's bothering them. Instead of punishing and yelling at them, someone needs to take the time to figure out what's overwhelming these kids! Comfort them, and help them learn how to express their needs in better ways.
They can use their inside voice. They are obviously in charge here. Look, it is all sigle parents. I am a single parent and my boy Never took advantage of me. These women let their children walk all over them. The kids know whats up.. I have not seen one be punished. 1,2, 3, Magic. A time out chair. This is the most ridiculus school I have ever seen!!! JUST A BUNCH OF SPOILED CHILDREN!
Absolutely. These kids need compassion. It's like being mad at someone for not knowing your language. Actually, it's almost exactly like that. Kids need to be taught, not punished for not knowing how to regulate their minds and bodies.
@@KimberSly That's a great analogy!
@@KimberSly these kids are not being taught! Its like the moms are afraid to show them the way. My son NEVER BEHAVED THIS WAY! And I am a single parent! It was so hard, but life is not so kind. We must teach our children how to cope with stress and Not getting what they want if they are going to behave like little monsters!
there's another very likely reason: they get everybody's attention by missbeheaving( remember tha saying "there's no such thing as bad publicity", this is quite the same).
Recently, I've been playing music at this church, there are no kids, but there's this girl, I believe she's 3 yrs old or less, and spends the whole service playing around the altar
It was pretty obvious she was putting up a show for us, firstly because despite having a huge temple for her misschiefs, she chose where everybody would be looking at her. Secondly, if nobody did anything, she'd double down.
We the musicians didn't interact with her, so she tried to catch the violinist's attention by throwing a ball at him, since he didn't react, she proceeded to aim at the violin case, then to the violin itself...HUUUGE MISTAKE. Never mess with a musician's instrument 😄. He trapped the ball between his feet, and when she approached to take it, he told her " you shouldn't be throwing it here, you might hurt someone".
I didn't think it would work, but it did. She quitted the ball game. Then she proceeded to tear Bibles apart, but the violinst was there to play music, not lecturing toddlers😄.
Frankie’s mom seems to be on the right path to success for both her and her son, she wants to better understand him and why he acts the way he does so she can conform to his needs. She sees that he his different and wants to do right by him. That’s so great.
I agree with you.
It is fantastic that all these children that are labeled difficult are getting help, but they don't seem to be addressing the underlying reasons. As a mom of two neurodivergent (asd, adhdh, odd) kids, you notice the common traits when you see it. It's unfortunate that nothing was really said by the experts to the parents about seeking testing. No amount of gentle parenting is going to help a kid with asd in the middle of a meltdown. They don't have the executive skills in those moments to hear anything or try to come down. Sometimes a meltdown is about stress, being overwhelmed, over stimulation, under stimulation, etc.
ODD as well? I'm not remotely religious but beyond, "Go with God," there's almost zero advice that will help you. You've got a long, hard road ahead and I wish you the very best. Stay safe. ❤
This was a program directed at parents changing they way they parent. The UK would not put children on TV that they thought were needing extra interventions.This similar to nanny 911 where parents and children learn to work together.
Absolutely agree. My child doesn’t respond to gentle parenting at all. Only reacts positively if there are more rules and disciplinary actions and knows the outcomes if she misbehaves.
If a parent says that their kids are “demonic” or “as if possessed,” i can bet my life on the fact that the parent has no idea what they are doing
🙄😂
I wouldn't bet my life. I'd give it a 90+% chance that the kids bad behavior is probably the parents fault, but there's always exceptions. Rarely sure, but often enough that I don't want to risk my life :D
Not necessarily
THIS. Besides the fact that neither of those things exist & are fictional {in my opinion}, it feels like they are trying to subconsciously deflect from the possibility that their parenting is actually what’s to blame for these behaviors, not a ghost. 0 self-reflection on their part, but I am very glad that they were given the opportunity to learn, hands-on, from professionals!
Kid could have adhd! 0:40
Clearly society has an indifferent view of who should take parenting classes. As a teen mom, now Granny, those classes were invaluable. I took them throughout my son's childhood. I was extremely blessed to have such a well behaved child. Every parent IMO should absolutely take parenting classes. And if your child has special needs, they have resources to help.
I was hoping to see some lessons on self-calming skills taught to both Teagan and her mother. They told the mom to stop her tantrums before they escalate, but mom gets just as worked up as the little girl. They took away her comfort items and didn't replace with a healthy alternative.
Right? I wonder if she could be on the autism spectrum. She feels things quite big and needs safe space to settle and things to stim with. From Orlando, FL
Me too. I also suspect she may be on the Spectrum
They may have taught the strategies, but off camera. Just imagine how much film was cut.
@@kelthrives9109 I haven't finished the entire video but so far I am really surprised that neurodivergence hasn't been a major part of the conversations that are taking place. Not only to get the kiddos the help they need but to also help the parents better understand their children.
Yes, useless. The blanket is her comfort. It is her security. Malachi has already "stolen" her mum from her 100% attention. Why make her feelings of not being heard, worse.
I was a kindergarten teacher for 31 years.I never had problems with the children.The parents are the problem.
Teach the parents first.
Unless they have PANDAS or something.
@@dontforgettodoodle4013 there are multiple disorders that can cause behavior issues, ones that are far more severe than what’s depicted here even, like three year olds breaking people’s noses and stuff, it gets pretty serious.
I also happen to know many teachers, one who just retired and taught special education as well as gen Ed, and she says that kids have always had behavioral issues and other delays, but that it is getting more common, so I find it unlikely this teacher “never had a problem with the children” or if she didn’t, perhaps the children who needed the special supports were getting it outside her classroom.
I wonder what the children would say about your teaching
@@louderthanwordsInclusivityI assumed that the teacher meant Most of the problems stemmed from the Parents parenting lacking/failure there of or over the top parenting.
Obviously there are a few out lyer children who just have a disorder or disability or divergeny that is the cause of behavioural problems. But many times those disorders are worsened by Parents failing to know(uneducated) how/what to do to mitigate or fix.
Or unfortunately many time Parents intentionally ignore the known ways to fix/mitigate behaviors because they dont want to put forth the effort or just acknowledge their kids different.
Thats ignoring all the kids who dont have a, brain difference reason, issues are all stemming form the Failure of the Parents not parenting.
You are 100% correct!!! I taught secondary school as well as Special Education and I noticed that although every student IS different, the ones with the emotional problems actually had NO limits, & had been raised with no rules - Their parents never taught them " No, Yes and Stop" I don't understand how 'parents" view themselves as 'parents' anymore because they're certainly not parenting.
These teachers and psychologists are truly amazing. So gentle.
When my little girl got angry, first I felt so helpless. Then I started to ask her: Honey, do you have an uninvited visitor? Is it the dragon or the witch? - The witch, mum!- Shall we send her away, out of the door? Left or right? - Left!! Go away!!! - Ha! Did you see her escape?- Yes, mum, I feel better now. Anna from Germany, my girl turned to a happy young woman today.
Young people thinking of having kids should watch this. I worked in behavioral settings with kids for 28 years. I’m happily retired now.
Your always going to have children like this because it's the PARENTS 🙄
I'm nearly 20 and my baby is due in 10 weeks, it's fine. it's not the kids it's the parents.
This is bad advice
I never want kids
@@andreasanchez1453 I never did either. We are childless by choice
I worked at kindercare for 3 years, as well as another daycare and these aggressive behaviors are becoming more and more common unfortunately. Absent parenting is the #1 reason. Parents pay more attention to their phones now than their children. Friend parenting is another problem; parents want to be friends with their children first and be their parents second. They don’t put their foot down enough for children to realize that no means no. Lastly, a lot of these children with extreme behavior trouble are on the autism spectrum somewhere, but aren’t always diagnosed. High functioning autism is real and I’ve met kids with it whom I wouldn’t have guessed had it. Take your children to their pediatrician and talk to them for accommodations.
Well said!
What I feel like this show glosses over is how these children will likely need this kind of intensive management throughout their education and at home. The second they find themselves overwhelmed without someone to immediately correctly identify and respond to it, the maladaptive behavior will reassert itself. Mainstream school teachers don't have the time and training. Parents are exhausted from working, caring for other children, and compassion fatigue for the kids' needs for time and attention. This show makes it look easy, but it's not so simple when you don't have 10 hands 24/7. Once children like this tune out of their education experience because they aren't getting the intervention they need, they're going to suffer and act out because these kids are wired differently.
Parents want to be friends with their children. "My mom and I are besties" more common today, my parents hardly even knew where we were at most times.
It's a challenge today of course so many distractions
I’m a school social worker at the elementary level and I have a ton of empathy for these kids. With this said, Teagan’s poor baby brother!!! Can you imagine getting yelled at and feeling like your sibling hates you when you’re so little and vulnerable? 😢
Well…I felt like my sisters hated me. However, I was not a toddler; I was 10 years old. Those feelings stayed with me and worsened as I got older into the teen years.
Thanks for mentioning how their siblings effected
@@brittanyscott3809-Same here, although my sister wasn’t mean just chose not interact with me as if I didn’t exist 🤷🏼♀️
@@scarter8137 That’s unfortunate. I felt that way about my 1st oldest sister when I was in high school. And I felt that way about my 2nd oldest sister when I was a kid up to 17 years old.
@@scarter8137 That’s unfortunate 😔.
The single mom mustve been exhausted. But that little tornado girl needs alot of hugs and acknowledgement of her feelings...
When my elder son was 3 he threw himself onto the floor in a packed Marks and Spencers store. Everybody froze and stared at him. I walked a few steps from him and faced him so I could keep a close eye on him. I pretended to look through a clothes rail, whilst watching him for safety reasons. He stopped 3 times to see if I was reacting. Then he started kicking and screaming again, after each pause, to get a reaction.( He didn't want to shop!!) I wasn't going to react!!
He decided this was a waste of time, stood up and stood quietly next to me. I asked was he "finished being naughty ?"
He replied " yes mummy, I'm sorry" I held his hand and it was END OF DRAMA!!!
It never happened again because this behaviour wasn't ' rewarded'. Nor did I scream like a banshee or smack him. I never physically 'disciplined' either of my sons as I would never forgive myself. Nor was I ever smacked as a child. That is failed parenting and abuse, right there.
My sons are now kind, caring, intelligent, gentle, funny Adults who are loved and adored by their proud parents, My husband and i ♥
same!!!! unbothered parenting is the absolute best lol
Yea great way to handle that situation.....mothers of today need to be assessed before having children they don't have a clue ....the child seems to be ruling the parents
Brilliant!
I need to send this to my elder sister who feeds into her 4 year olds meltdowns
@@geraldineowens7001 I have so many questions about this comment. How do you assest someone that hasn't gone through something yet? I didn't have my child yet and I was constantly working at daycares and LOVED IT!!! I worked all the way up until I had her and came back. Over time things happened that became stressors and also with her growing that was a stressor too. But I had help with learn why she was doing what she was doing and was able to understand. So what about those that dont seek help or don't understand it once it giving? What would you do? How would you punish them? And then what happens if someone fails this test before they have kids. Will they be forced to have there reproductive system taken out?????
When parents react dramatically it causes more dramatic behaviors from the children.
Exactly right. Children feed off their parents vibes. You can’t yell at a child to calm down when you aren’t calm yourself.
Children respond to the energy that the parents give. It's not just dramatics but also the parents who show little to no interest in the child.
@@alyssaj.2659I agree
Programs like this are so helpful for both child and parents. My youngest at age 6 went through a program called Dinosaur School and it included classes for the parents. It really helped.
I found this refreshing. They aren't overly concerned with labeling these kids. Sometimes kids and parents just need guidance regardless of whether or not there is something more going on.
Because the kids aren't the problem. This is textbook lazy/inept parenting.
@@pagejames8754 A lot of comments are saying that these kids are special needs and they are wondering why they don't comment on it in the video. I think it's good they aren't bringing it up because, yes, some of this could be the kids just reacting to the parents or the kids just need better coping skills.
@@pagejames8754 so if children do have a disorder you’re saying they are the problem?
@@pagejames8754 I’m also confused on whether you’re discussing specific children or all of them? Because we didn’t even see all of them, much less enough for anyone educated in this field to theorize whether it is more parenting related or a possible developmental and neurological concern-not to mention that you do know that behavior issues can be cause by other environmental factors beyond parenting correct?
Parents always could use guidance, but ESPECIALLY if there is a developmental , neurological, or psychological condition.
I’m not saying all of these children have special needs, I don’t think they do. However I’m seeing a lot of comments of people shaming the parents, assuming that if the day care staff are helping guide the parents toward solutions then they must just be incompetent and have been doing something wrong, but what people don’t realize is that NO ONE parents perfectly and everyone could use guidance, the issue is that some children just have traits that cause more behavioral disruption is structured settings, while others have special needs full stop, but they are difficult to even recognize this young, and with those children parents don’t have room for not doing things to the T perfect for THEIR child to handle THEIR specific needs, where other parents with less difficult children do.
It seems there’s this weird dichotomy between people who believe that your child’s either perfectly behaved or you’re a bad parent, or those who believe that anything and everything with a slight variation from typical is a disability, and the reality lies somewhere in the middle. Development is not linear, even for behavior, children have diverse traits, and special needs parents need to parent differently and will need parenting guidance as well as any other parent.
The psychologists and teachers/behavior technicians are all super heroes as far as I am concerned. Thank you for this excellent content!
Tigen's mom makes me so angry. She just screams at her child and clearly lacks empathy for her daughter's distress. If it was so stressful having just 1 kid, maybe don't have a 2nd?
Frankie's mom, in contrast, seemed humbler and more able to recognize she was the one who needed to get the tools to do better by her son.
It's easy to watch from the outside and make an assessment. I cannot imagine the desperation of her mom. She seems like she may be autistic or nuerodivergent...I am not a professional, but just based on things I know from friends with kids who have these challenges.
She screams at her and in turn Tegan screams at her baby brother. I’m glad they got some help and guidance. Raising kids is overwhelming and sometimes it truly does take a village.
Remember it’s a show, there’s plenty of editing going on.
I can only imagine how stressful it must be to be a young mum with two little ones, but you're going to raise a reactive child if you're modelling that negative behaviour. Tigan feels out of control and is acting out, which is exactly what her mother is demonstrating when she's shouting/emotional. So beautiful to see her mother committed to trying to work on her own behaviour, she's a good mum:)
If your kid wants to stand up and do their work, let them. They don’t have to be sitting to be “focused”. Standing desks are a thing for a reason
I thought that, too. Why does he have to sit? He seemed to be very focused on his task.
🤔 He wasn't being remanded for his refusal to sit still, though; he was being evaluated for his *inability* be still, present, and to interact with others when he clearly wanted to.
My guess is that if Franky's mom had brought him in for no other concern than he preferred to stand while he does his work, the professionals would have diagnosed him with a "quirk," and the treatment plan would be slightly different. 💁♀️
ADD, ADHD, and ODD. they need to teach these parents about these. ADHD isn’t just “hyperactive behavior” and if that’s the only thing that’s being treated it will not help in the long run. the first two kids really reminded me of some kids i used to work with / myself. the first little girl especially, gives me ADD / maybe on the spectrum. treating her outbursts like “drama” will never help that little girl. these kids just need some structure, educated parents, and positive reinforcement. praying for all🙏🏾💞
i guess people need to stop engaging and idealizing this hyper diagnostic tendency, because it can be very, very harmful, especially when it comes to little children. I mean, you're right: these kids just need some structure, educated parents and positive reinforcement, and not having their behavior medicalized with medical reports that will leave them one step away from spending the rest of their lives taking medication. We need to remember that Ritalin and other medications given for ADHD (and others) do not even have studies of the long-term effects on those who take them since they were children, nor is it recommended on the package insert for children under 12 years old. USA is living an epidemic of child medicalization very similar to what ends up in american adults addicted to pain medication.
First thing I noticed with the one boy was hand flapping and no eye contact so these definitely made me think there are things these parents need to explore
Absolutely agree, autism spectrum is extremely vast…
I've only seen the first 4 minutes and to be honest I see just an average child who's angry and doesn't know how to deal with her emotions. 🤷♀️
I agree regarding ADD/ADHD (plus autism spectrum as well ) but ODD is too often applied as a dismissive diagnosis to children who actually have one of the other conditions that has gone undiagnosed &/or has atypical presentation or doesn't respond as expected to usual interventions (which sadly often rely on behavior management techniques that can often just make things even harder for a child already struggling to cope with challenges of neurotypical expectations )
I LOVE that look on a toddler's face when they realize for the first time that the jig is up. 😂
Yes! I agree with you
😂 😂 😂
😭😭gotteem
Can you give me a timestamp?
@@josephinamungaray6118 Tegan screamed "F you" at her younger brother. That's at 6:16.
Why can’t they have their safety blanket or plushie when they start school? It’s such a simple thing to keep them comforted in new situations. I DON’T think the blankie is what keeps her separated, it’s a symptom of her social anxiety. Focus on that, not the blanket.
Adults do it too with fidgets & phones, thought we got further than this. Pacifiers I understand as it can/will cause tooth issues & delayed speech.
My son got braces at ten years old and the dentist asked if he ever used a pacifier and he did for a year or so. He said too bad he didn’t do it longer because he has a narrow arch and the pacifier would of help his mouth grow in a way that would of been better.
They don't allow these things most likely because they capture the attention of the other children thereby distracting them, also kids will fight over objects. Children also do not keep up items very well so if the blanket were to be ruined, lost or stolen this would cause a new set of problems. Also they can trip over the blanket while walking down the hall. There are a lot of reasons.
I'll have to agree with @Jamiesshinn4355: If the kid is really attached to his/her comfort object, taking it to school creates a whole new set of issues which these teachers have already dealt with.
If some kid is extremely zealous about the conditions of the comfort object, they might get the meltdown of their lives if other kid say accdentally colours it with crayon.
I have several adhd and social anxiety. A blanket would not have distracted me. My adhd symptoms would. But my symptoms would let me become a scholar of the teacher made it interesting enough for kids.
As a kindergarten teacher, it’s bc their comfort item is a big distraction and keeps them from participating fully. If you allow one child to have it, they all want to bring something, which would obviously be a huge problem, so they have to make it a group rule. You wouldn’t believe how quickly they forget all about it when they see that no one else in school has one.
Maybe they need a one-way window for the adults to observe the children because I'm pretty sure the children can see them watching.
MDNAandGAGA - I thought the same thing!
As a kid who bit their arms when angry or upset all the way up to third grade, I seriously wish someone had shown me an alternative instead. I remember just feeling so incredibly overwhelmed with emotion and the only way I knew how to release that emotion was to clamp down on my arm or my hand and squeeze my eyes shut. I did end up growing out of it, but now that I’m a teenager with extreme anxiety and difficulty managing emotions, I do still find myself biting my knuckles from time to time when I feel like that.
Have you seen a therapist? The best ones teach us skills to deal with our emotions.
I used to bite the cuticles off my fingers until I bled 😢 the things that help me the most are heat and deep pressure, like a hot water bottle or weighted blanket. I needed to be held a lot more often than I was as a kid….
@@miapdx503 seen two already, didn’t seem to agree with me lol 🤷🏽♂️
@@reasonablewalk4982 weighted blankets are very helpful for me too!! I have one with corgis
@@cannedbees8974 Don't give up, try again to find a therapist that can help you. Preferably one who works with a psychiatrist or someone who can prescribe anti-anxiety meds. They really helped my daughter get a hold of her anxiety. Look at this less as something is wrong with you, but more like your brain is radio and with therapy and/or medication trying to get tuned to the right frequency so you're able to clearly function.
Love the concept of teaching parents how to respond or not respond to their childrens behavior, and also giving them tools to help redirect the children so everyone has a positive experience. Laverne Antrobus should be commended for providing this service to children and their parents. Well Done!
It’s a shame they don’t offer this kind of service in the US. Maybe some places do.
A school for the parents would be a better idea. interesting video i hope lots view it and learn
How about a school for kids and parents.
The parents could learn how to set boundaries and the kids to respect them and know why they are needed.
I am a special education teacher in the States to young children with extreme developmental delays / needs and I so agree! Some of the parents I work with are fabulous. It is exhausting being a parent, let alone to a child with exceptional needs. These parents deserve a lot of grace. That being said, some of the parents/guardians of the kids I work with either don’t care, don’t know what to do (most common), or are so busy/preoccupied with home life they just can’t manage. I SO wish there could be some kind of program that worked with these parents individually, as well as along side their kids. Even if it’s online / zoom calling. Just …. Something. There is such a disconnect. I often feel like all the hard work we do in school just becomes totally unraveled at their home life. It’s no one’s fault really, other than the system. Sometimes it feels a bit hopeless, but I know this is where I’m supposed to be and I’ll never give up on giving these kiddos a safe space for a bit of their day.
People seem to be harsh on the parents aka comment section.
A third party or a mediator helps see things differently.
The parents have bazillion other things to deal with n think about.
I'm not going to play the blame game, like folks here.
Parents needs a hand up/kindness n love (they are exhausted), judging them, ain't going anywhere, except in frustrations.
Thank you.. I had similar ignorant views until I gave birth to an autistic son.. Now I see things differently
Nice to see a reasonable person in the comments 😊
Thank you! I’m not a parent but I see tons of parent shaming and I think that’s wrong. Parents are people too and thus make mistakes, they aren’t perfect human beings, and let’s face it, every parent messes their kids up in someways so all you can do is try your best and love your child unconditionally.
Have these kids been tested for autism or adhd. It’s wrong to call them naughty.
There will always be a relevant underlying issue to explain these behaviours.
If they are being labelled naughty if they are neurodivergent then these poor kids won’t get the appropriate help they need.
Thank you for this spot-on birth control video.
lol, was just thinking maybe not having kids wasnt such a bad idea!
Don't be that afraid of having a child. The children may had lack of feeling of safety as a baby. There is a lot of study around trauma, that can't be remembered by a baby but it has very intense effects on a person's personality.
Absolutely, some people shouldn’t be be parents, I’m glad you figured it out 👍
Being childfree is a very valid choice. I worked as a child development specialist in a similar setting to this video, and I am quite happy I decided by my late twenties to remain childless. I loved working with children for many years but that enough for me. Very happily retired from that career now.
@@rezangyalos believe me not worth the risk, especially this day and age. Authorities say you can't discipline ( I don't mean spank either, but rules and consequences) then when you follow authorities way they want you to do things and kid turns out to be unsafe or problems they blame the parents. Can't win in this society
When I watched Supernanny, I learned that a lot of these "behaviors" stem from either of the parents not spending enough undistracted quality time with their children. Additionally that the bad behaviors stem from inside the home, the chaos inside the home, etc- so trying to 'watch and learn' about the children's problems while on premises of the school building is NOT ideal- they need to go inside and watch inside their homes.
I am a bit annoyed at the use of “meltdown”
Teagan had a “meltdown” about her comforter not a TANTRUM.
Yet daisy has “meltdowns” when they are tantrums, because she keeps looking to see what the adults are doing
Yes!
When the teacher announces that Tigan won you can see Daisy immediately fall to the floor 😅… at least she’s consistent lol
I saw that too! 😂
I guess they can still have winners in Britain.
This is so needed! Here in the US, I’m pretty sure most of these youngsters would be put on medications straight away rather than first getting a professional child behavioral expert assessment and behavior modification plan. My hat is off to all involved in this effort, especially these patient parents!
I was just about to say that. They would have immediately said they have ADHD or autism. SMH!
@@Naomi-ls5kl Hi Naomi, I had no thought whatsoever about autism when I made my comment and was only commenting in general terms.
@@Naomi-ls5kl I didn't say any of that. I was saying that's what doctors often do. I feel like it doesn't matter what you have or whats going on it's all a misunderstanding at the end of the day. And unfortunately kids can't communicate how they feel. And for others to understand that feeling 🤷🏾♀️. I try to understand what my daughter goes through everyday and I can't. And she is not bad or has a mental problem. She may be sad or mad at the time and can't express why
Amen! 🙏🏻🙏🏼✌️😥 Fact's!
And psychiatric drugs are dangerous! To other's And themself! 99% of School etc massac r perpetrators has been on lot of psychiatric drugs Antidepressants SSRI Snri Neuro toxin drugs and stimulants ANTIPSYCHOTICS lithium Etc:'(.
I am gunna be honest here but I probably needed to be on medication but I wasn't. So instead of getting medication I got given coffee to calm me down. I had and still do have a hard time sitting still, due to ADHD. So there is a place for medication but not all children need medication obviously.
Kids will do anything for attention, negative or positive.. It's sad that we are build to have kids at a young age because with age comes an ease and a higher emotional intelligence to take care and educate little ones.
They need some of these in the US too
Imagine if everyone learned emotional regulation
Pretty sure it would fix all our problems.
Mom says remember to breathe
I used to work as a conflict resolution person. For years I was saying that we need to teach conflict resolution in grade school. Give them personal skills, early on. I did with my children and those skills have served them all their lives.
They used to learn this in the U.S. decades ago: It was called going to church.
@@nikkicole3331 ....huh???
The patience of these teachers is amazing. They are well-trained in child psychology. I hope they make a really good salary because they are performing a very valuable service. I can't help comparing them with American nursery school teachers, who are usually well-intentioned but woefully underpaid and not usually trained at all.
I think before judgment, take a step back and try to understand each child. Each child has different needs and each parent doesn't have the tools to do that as much as they try. I applaud them for seeking help and willingness to help. There isn't anything "common" about "common sense". We only know what we know. The challenge is following through at home. I do hope they do, otherwise the naughty behavior will just get worse. If they do follow through, their relationship will most likely strengthen their relationships.
I want to start off with there is no absolute rule book to parenting. Parenting is hard and full of the thought of making the "right decision" and it's okay to look for help when you need it. Parents learn their parenting skills through their parental figures through life and, often times, we try so hard to break the cycle from our parents that we can get lost, too. But anyway, these parents realized they needed help, and took the steps into receiving that. These resources are amazing and should be provided everywhere!
This program is so important! Having taught in an elementary school for 10 years, I've encountered a number of difficult children. My degrees are in psychology but had to make a living to raise my two daughters. I wished I could work with the children needing help with their behaviors but couldn't teach and modify extreme behaviors. If we had more therapy centers like this in America, we would have more adjusted children. Early intervention is important!
Tegan has been moved out of her role as a baby, and been moved into the role of big sister. The problem is, she wants to be the baby still, therefore, the blanket and the pacifier, are things she holds on to. Kids need limits, and to know they arent the ones calling the shots. In the situations in this film, its helpful to see the situation of each child from a different perspective, then that of the parent.
Tegan is gripping onto that blanket and soother because no adult has helped regulate her emotions. She displaces all of the signs of an emotionally neglected child. I don't think it's her moving out from the baby role but rather the neglect of a mother with an infant. I don't think the blanket and pacifier are being used to "act out" like a baby. I think her development has regressed from clearly displayed neglect, those items might be the most dependable thing she finds comfort in.
@@user-hm8uw9yd1oI agree. She wasn’t upset because she “didn’t get what she wanted”. She was upset because she needed to feel comforted, and her pacifier and blanket gave her comfort. They should’ve let her let those things go when she’s ready, not force it. I don’t understand why having a security blanket of sorts is a disciplinary issue. It’s ridiculous.
My son is 13 and still sleeps and cuddles his tiny stuffed dog that is the size of a lemon. He's had it since he was a baby. Also, my uncle is in his 60s and he still has his comfort blanket from when he was a young child. He still to this day can not sleep with out it and will bring it on all of our trips to the lake or on vacations. Anywhere he stays over night. There's abosulety nothing wrong with having something that comforts and calms you down. Its a great tool that anyone especially with anxiety should have.
Im 36 and still sleep with my Eeyore that ive had since i was 9months old
There is quite a lot wrong with what you are describing!
@@Celisar1 it’s wrong to have a item that comforts you?
I see so many of you diagnosing these children with all kinds of things and saying they need medications. These children are probably 4 years old. Medication isn’t the first course of action. I’m a medically retired Pediatric PA and the saddest thing about society today is how quickly they put a label on kiddos and decide the only answer is to medicate them. Sometimes all it takes is time, discipline and attention. Leave the diagnosis process to the professionals.
Agree! There is only so much negotiating you should do with young children. They need strong boundaries and direction.
My daughter’s also with her comfort blanket, but I never take it from her at home except meal time. I’ve seen the Linus’s story from peanuts, which he insisted how precious it is for him. So I would recommend not to deprive children of their last resort.
Both of my kids have comfort toys. My husband once thought it was appropriate to punish our (at the time, 4ish year old) son by taking away his blanket. I was out that night with my friends. I came home and our lil dude was STILL screaming, and apparently it had been going on for over 2 hours. I was LIVID and IMMEDIATELY gave it back to him and held him. Lil man was asleep within 15 minutes in my arms. I told my husband that he was to NEVER take away comfort toys EVER as a punishment for ANYTHING, that it doesn't teach them ANYTHING only makes them feel more alone and distressed. He never did it again.
I agree. I was freaking out. Her passie/binkie needs to go but her blanket is so needed.
They were trying to prepare some of these children for ‘real’ school.
@@MagicalMandi IT's likely "so needed" by your child because you're also convinced "it's so needed". Be a parent, not an enabler. If you're not sure how to ween your child from her blanket, ask for help. There are very positive ways to go about this. No one's asking you to tear it from her arms and burn it in front of her! There are ways that will make her feel very grown up and very confident in herself. The more you baby her and allow that blanket to be a crutch, the more harm you're doing to her normal development. Do you want her to grow up feeling good about herself, or dragging a blanket around until she's 10?
I'm almost 26 and I still have my baby blanket. I carry her whenever I go anywhere over night. I even would take her with me to elementary school and just kept her in my backpack. It really bothered me to see them take away Tegan's blanket. Thankfully it didn't push her further away but it definitely would have if it were me. I was also very withdrawn and didn't integrate very well with other kids, even when I didn't have my blanket in my arms. I have memories playing alone often even in daycare. I rarely played with anyone else because I found it hard to communicate and interact with them in general
Aww thank goodness for these teachers. What wonderful people
Are you mental
@@geraldineowens7001 are you?
as a former "trouble child" its so heartbreaking to hear how these mums speak about their kids in front of them. My parents told me all my childhood what a difficult child I was, how "uncontrollable" (I had tantrums like the one girl here), and how bad behaved I am. This made me think "if I am uncontrollable, no one can do anything about it, so I cant change it." I just thought, these labels, thats what I am. I am uncontrollable, so why learn to controll it? My parents never learned how to deal with me, and it took me years of therapy to learn to accept my reactions and emotions, to name them, and to learn how to deal with myself in a healthy manner. I just hope these parents learn that before their children pick up being uncontrollable as their way of thinking about themselfs.
As a practicing behavior analyst, I appreciate these videos and helping these children cope with their emotions. This is an extremely difficult job and the patience these professionals have is God sent. ❤
Some of this actually makes me cry. It’s so wonderful. My child a handful is 24 now. And in some ways he’s still a handful. But I wish I would’ve had some of this guidance. My goodness this woman is a miracle worker staff is like angels.
What a wonderful help for both Mom & child. Well done we need more nurseries like this.
We need more intelligent parents.
I absolutely love this..children can't express themselves bc they aren't born with knowing. Just need time and a village to notice and help with problem solving..heaven if all children had this
It was heartwarming to see Daisy and Tigan with smiles on their faces by the end of the show. 😊
I suspect many of these kids have neurodivergensies which if assessed and worked around, would be much more beneficial. Coming from somebody with autism, I never wanted to play in groups as a kid, had meltdowns if I was sensory overloaded, overall very particular. I was just seen as a difficult child until I was diagnosed at 15.
I suspect the parents don't put the work in. There spoiled and manipulative bc it works for them
As you can clearly see these normal kids respond beautifully to normal modifying measures and better parenting.
It was too cute & adorable when Daisy hugged Franky at 36:43 😊
Putting this on TV should be illegal. You're humiliating these poor children without their consent. I'm still watching! lol
The title of a great parenting book is "How to Behave So Your Kids Will Too" by Sal Severe. The parents need training on HOW to enforce obedience with house rules and THEN when kids misbehave they get time out. To do timeouts that really work, watch Supernanny episodes and do each part in order, not forgetting any one part. While it is true that some kids are autistic or have special needs, many of these kids just need structure at home, rules that are posted, discussed often, and enforced, with praise when the child does something correctly or tries hard to do something asked of him. Tegan still using a pacifier (which restricts her acquisition of speech), and the blanket illustrate her insecurity. I depended a GREAT deal on a lovey, but they did stay at home.
Tigan has symptoms of autism. And other toddlers too. It's heartbreaking to see these struggles in toddlers since I had similar struggles. And molding Tigan into masking and behaving a certain way is for the neurotypical environment good but when she grows older she forgets about her needs which happens to women with high masking autism. She will develop other symptoms because of that like depression, self doubt, etc
Jules is an excellent teacher! The psychologists and the teachers there are doing such a great job.
It’s great to see the parents given skills to help their children thrive.
They need Jo Frost, Super Nanny. She educates the parents how to deal with the behaviours of the children which are largely due to the response to them by the parents. Obviously some children do have psychological issues which need to be considered but the majority are resolved when the children realise that negative behaviour has consequences and is not rewarded by gaining the parents attention.
Exactly! I agree
I mean, the people at this school did perfectly. You think Jo Frost is the only person trained in child psychology?
Jo Frosts approaches are not the healthiest either.
Many years ago (it was the 1950’s), one of my friend’s brothers was quite attached to his blanket. He was so attached to it that when it absolutely needed to be washed, that the little guy would sit and watch the blanket go through the wash (front loading washer). After the cycle was through, he would sit by the back door and watch it dry on the line. Neighborhood lore had it that he carried a piece of it in his wallet even as an adult.
@@marykeegan2606I'm 36 and still have mine. I used to bring a smaller version of it to work with me in my pocket and I could stick my hand in and rub it a bit when my anxiety was high.
These teachers and counselors are amazing.
I noticed how the parents spoke so negative and almost hateful about their children's behavior....so sad.
It is but if u are dealing with a problematic child all day, while caring for another child...u say mean things
Who feels it, knows it
Its difficult to feel hateful about something if you care nothing about it.
@@jamieshinn4355 that makes sense.
As a parent who has been there twice...on and off, both difficult children who needed different parenting, I can relate to the exhaustion and defeatist attitudes. You have love for your children, but absolutely loathe the behaviors they shoe on a constant basis. When all you see is negative, it's very hard to find any positive.
Boy, times change. For the better, of course. When I was little these children just got beat until they shut up. Now people try to actually understand and help them.
This should be a school for lazy/inept parents, not "troubled toddlers." Blaming small children for bad parenting is ridiculous.
I think this also shows how important a familie is. Its sad to see that all these Moms where mostly alone with there kids. These Kids need some time with there fathers ... and the moms need some distance/time out to have a better time with the child....
This was great. Although there are some of the children that probably are neurodivergent or have possible learning disorders that should be addressed. I was really worried about the little girl getting frustrated with no being able to communicate because I don't think I heard her speak at all. This usually requires an medical intervention of some kind of of speech therapy to help. Frankie could probably really use different kind of therapies as well to help with pretty clear ADHD symptoms. I really hope these psychologist outside of the show are really doing their jobs as psychologist and getting them proper long-term support. This is not the fault of the parents or children.
This should be shown in every high school as birth control
Taking away the comfort blanket from a little girl completely in distress? She needed lots of hugs and comforting. There is so much anxiety behind her behavior.
True, but she will never be able to socialise and find comfort in other things such as people around her if she holds on to a blanket
@@TalaR04 It's called the Linus syndrome.
As a preschool teacher myself, one child out of control can derail the whole class. Let alone having 2 or 3 kids acting out. These teachers do an excellent job addressing behavior.
Kids are mirrors of us. Kids cannot understand or verbalize what they feel so they act it out. The problem is that parents have stopped parenting, parents don't reflect on what example they are setting for their kids and they don't talk to their kids to try to hear what's bothering them.. it's sad..
My Dad would just give me the "look"....knowing that if I wanted to go that route, it was going to end badly for me
Our parents were not afraid to discipline us. Today's parents want to be their child's friend...that's not your role. Then they're confused...
Exactly how my generation was raised and there was a lot less spoiled children because of good old fashioned discipline!
My kid know that look well. I do not play, what kind if day they have depends on their behavior period. These parents don't spend any real time with their kids
what did he do, hit you? Because that's abuse
It's so wild how it takes a while for the parents faces to relax or smile they've been carrying these worries for so so long for their children. Eveyrone did a great job all around.
Watching Tegan has been amazing. It shows that what we label as "naughty", is often a lack of confidence brought on by some form of neuro divergent trates. This program is teaching us a lot about what we percieve vs what is really going on with most kids.
Validating the child’s emotions goes a long way with difficult children.
My niece is 17 inhigh school and still keeps her security blanket...she is popular and plays a lot of sports.. if it comforts someone..them them keep it. It's not like a pacifier where it's going to physically damage anything
I agree. I am 33 and still sleep with a stuffy. Who cares. It’s partially for comfort and also for how my arms rest when I sleep and make it more comfortable. I’ve gone without it and it doesn’t hurt anyone
A big girl almost 5 is way to old to use a pacifier.
But does she take it to school?
@Absolutely Ridiculous Not sure in other countries but in Korea, most high schools allows students to bring blanket, mini pillow, and sandals
what happens if it gets lost? is that an issue?
I do wonder if any of these kids have been diagnosed with any problems. Maybe they should start there
Im a special needs teacher ive already seen some signs through the video but would require actually seeing child for a proper diagnosis of disability
Exactly what I was thinking. My little girl behaves a lot like little Teagan. Mine is on the spectrum. Mr Frankie shows traits of ADHD.
@@jessicaellis184 yeah I’ve ADHD and my childhood friend’s little brother had autism. I knew what was up with those kids a couple minutes in.
I am on the autistic spectrum and some of them looks like me as a kid... I hope they will receive the support that they need and not be force and have unecersary trauma..
Ah, there is the diagnosis. There are kids with a handicap, no one denies that, but most just have unfittable parents. 🙂
These teachers are amazing and have so much patience.
You notice that most of these kids have younger siblings? Mom has another baby, the child is no longer the center of attention until they start acting out. Imagine NOT knowing you have to spend more time with your child when you have another? smH.
@Bailey Rodgers :
Exactly, my heart broke watching Tigan having to cope w/ having her soothers taken away ,she wasn't being willful she was overwhelmed . If she is nerodivergent this is cruel .
I felt that way too cause I’m 36 high functioning autistic and have a friend who a non verbal autistic that always has toys too keep him from getting overwhelmed
I'm autistic and there seems to be quite a lot of adults who cannot tell the difference between a tantrum and a meltdown. I feel really bad for Tegan.
She not autistic or something wrong with Teagan self confidence she need .i was a very shy girl never liked to have group chats im not autistic in a long way .people have to stop using the autism
I'm autistic and can have a full blown conversation autism is on a spectrum there are different levels of functioning Frankie is displaying symptoms as well@@dominiquepilon5910
They clearly wouldn’t have taken it away if it wasn’t necessary
Raising children is the greatest test of patience Mums and Dads will ever face.
I pray that if a parent does have kids that act like, that they will get their kiddos checked out.
It seems the sooner they are helped the better for them.
And its good to find out everyway you and the family can help these little ones.
Bless them, its probably frustrating for them as well.❤
Why is there always a clip of a kid sobbing when they want to show a "naughty" child? Crying isn't naughty. They are learning to deal with their emotions. It can be annoying to listen to, but their not trying to annoy you, they are just upset.
Children live what they learn. Yell, scream & child will mimic you. Some kids have undiagnosed issues eg autism adhd, SPD etc
Pro tip - if a kid inadvertently or purposely punches or hits you, cry out like you are in intense pain and put your hands over your eyes like you are crying, say OWWW. It works actually for pets and kids, as long as they arent sociopaths.
This absolutely works. My daughter will smack me in the face randomly and I say “oh no you hit me, ow, I’m sad, I cry.” And I make a sad face. Then she starts petting my face and looks concerned and says “I’m sorry mommy” and I say “I forgive you but please don’t hit me again, it makes me sad”
Long story short, her hitting behavior has gone from multiple times a day to maybe 1 time a day. Toddlers don’t understand cause and effect so teaching them early really helps.
Every unruly child is today „neurodivergent“ or „ on the spectrum“.
Everything is a „trauma“ and when older everyone has depression, anxiety, panicattacks, etc..
And always people without any medical training do the diagnosing.
Instead of excuses some good old strict parenting usually fixes the problems.
You've obviously not dealt with a neurodivergent child. Obviously not every unruly child is neurodivergent, but a lot of neurodivergent children are “unruly”. Which is because their brains don’t work the same as neurotypical childrens brain which means they might not be able to communicate the same and overall work the same and in the same environments as neurotypical kids. More kids are neurodivergent today because in todays world a lot of people can recognize the symptoms, hopefully as early as possible and get their kids evaluated. In the United States, child and adolescent psychiatric training requires 4 years of medical school, at least 4 years of approved residency training in medicine, neurology, and general psychiatry with adults, and 2 years of additional specialized training in psychiatric work with children, adolescents and their families. In other words, very medically trained. And yes when people are older it’s not uncommon to experience anxiety or have panic attacks. In your teens everything is changing and you can explore the world more which will welcome you to different feelings, such as anxiety or getting depressed. And no good old strict parenting is going to cure neurodivergence. You should probably do some research before making such an ignorant comment.
I think every school should have this style of teaching and working with the parents... ❤
I strongly suspect Frankie has ADHD, and I hope his parents follow through to get him diagnosed and treated.
With Teagan…I was a lot like this as a kid. Very angry and argumentative, yelled a lot, emotional control issues, lots of screaming matches and tantrums. I was also a totally different kid at school. Not as withdrawn as Tiegan, but I had a lot of social difficulties. I suspect the mom’s yelling and anger are really fueling the fire here. Kids learn what they’re taught. If their parents yell at them, they might yell back! At a minimum, they’re going to have a hard time learning the emotional regulation skills they need to be successful. I hope mom can change her approach now.
did you ever get diagnosed with autism?
My friend got her son away from his blanket by cutting it smaller and smaller every time she washed it. It kept shrinking. Eventually it was smaller than a handkerchief. 😂
That's what my mom did for my brother, so that by the time he started kindergarten it was a square small enough to fit in his pocket so he could take it to school with him and no one at school even knew about it (he wanted to take it with him, but was scared the other kids would call him a baby so when at school he never took it out of his pocket).
To get rid of his baby bottle at 2.5 yrs old, my aunt came over one day and just took it with her when she left because everyone in the family felt it was a little ridiculous that he was still on a bottle (he was the youngest and my mom let some things go on a little too long).
@@apopuffkin1717 Parents often do this, not knowing much about child development and what the basic milestones are for each age. Supernanny has some unique ways to discarding the pacifiers. The child and Supernanny collect all the pacifiers in the home, put them in a colorful paper bag and hang it out on a tree. Then at night the Paci Fairy comes and takes the bag and leaves a present, leaving a note and thanking the child for the pacifiers, which will now be given to babies who need them. Getting the girl Tegan to put aside her pacifier and finally lay aside her blanket, allowed her to more fully interact with her peers. The Mom can also take VERY short walks with Tegan, leaving the blanket at home just for the walk. Walks get longer and longer, and finally they can go to the shops without it. Soon Tegan will have learned that she doesn't need that blanket all the time, and it can stay home on her bed for bedtime. However, if she needs to go to the ER or hospital the lovey goes too. But not to school. It kills me to see 2-4 year olds in shops who still have their mouths plugged up with pacifiers which, at that age, they plainly no longer need. It retards their speech, retards their ability to use words rather than tantrums, to ask for things rather than pointing, etc. Children need to learn to speak as soon as they are able because self-expression and the acquisition of vocabulary are important. It is also easier to spot speech impediments and get them to a speech therapist who can work those out so the children can properly pronounce words.
@@apopuffkin1717 why is taking a blanket to kindergarten 'shameful', it's not.
As someone who grew up in an asian household ........ you can't dare throw a tantrum because slippers and hangers will be flying in your face. One look and you should already know what it means. You must stop and dont make her look at you again with those piercing stares .
I was going to say similar. Growing up the way I did, the thought never crossed my mind. Hispanic parents from the “old country” do not play this game.
And Black parents didn't play in my generation either. We were highly disciplined and there was no such thing as throwing tantrums without consequences! Whole different generation today. And it's not cute.
Tactical ignoring is very effective, for adults as well! My son spent the 1st 4 years of his life on the floor with tantrums. The more we’d try to reason with him, the worse it would get. After a while, I’d just step over him and tell him to come talk to me when he can use his words. He’d follow me from room to room, throwing himself on the floor in front of me. I’d just get up and go to another task. Once he figured out that this behavior earned him less attention rather than more, he stopped.
Do they have them follow up with therapists and early intervention? I feel some aren’t just fixable behaviors but possibly ND? I can see myself in Tigan a lot as a child. Unfortunately back then once in school they just stuck us “slow kids” into a separate classroom. Once I graduated high school, learned that having Autism didn’t make me dumb and figured out what interested me I went from being a poor student and hating school to getting near perfect scores in nursing school and becoming an RN.
I feel sorry for the children. A single mum! Why take the blanket off her? She’s only little. The expectation is for them to grow up so quickly and be in care for extended hours. It’s so sad! She just wants attention from her mum (and no doubt dad)
Many single moms have to work a full-time job to support themselves which puts the children in care. If the dads are not willing or able to give enough financial support, they are in a no-win situation.
This is the second time today I heard this comment and I work in an elementary school and these are from young women that work at the school.
“This job is the best birth control
I guess, that no one tells them, that it depends on the parents mostly. 🙂
Having been involved with children of these ages, I found this documentary interesting and a valuable programme. Laverne summed up the aims of the programme really well "Parenting is not easy. " Being a parent, a carer, having young children in your life, has many challenges. We don't all have opportunities to learn parenting, or be parented, or to learn all about each individual child. I'd have liked to learn more about each child, whether diagnoses or other interventions are already in place. The ways that parents, families and carers might get ongoing supports, and how each child goes as they enter preschool programmes later on. The main point I'd like to make is that Tigan is still herself, no matter the behaviour, she is learning as she grows. Daisy will have plenty of time and space yet to learn other ways to respond when she is disappointed etc, and there are some great plans for Dylan to play in a calm, directed way, to avoid overstimulating and excitement building up to excess energy. In short, these are little humans, still growing and learning, and capable of so many great things as they grow