“I am overwhelmed but I am not destroyed” that is an incredible statement you made and one I need to repeat to myself. I’m in a similar season to you and I thank you for sharing your journey and helping others feel seen and less alone during this difficult season.
Same here, ladies. My grandma was hospitalized for a stroke. She was diagnosed with dementia at the end of 2020. My mom started dialysis this summer . I’m in New Mexico and they are in Florida. Some days, it is so hard to be so far. We are overwhelmed but not destroyed.
Big hugs to you both.i just want you to know sometimes they have a really good day and that is at the end. They will probably see people from their past. It is so sweet to see them feel the love as they are leaving this cold world. We learned playing their favorite hymns helped them. My daughter was reading Psalm 23 as my dad took his last breath. He quoted it every night. It’s a horribly beautiful thing when they pass peacefully. Big hugs and lots of love to whole family. Big hugs to your son! But I. Believe seeing his parents taking care of their parents is an amazing thing for his heart!
Thank you for sharing, and showing us how we can pray for you, your family and those around you. You often ask us how you can do for us…. Now we can do for you. I lost my father in November. The season of grief is upon me. I see you and I’ll pray for you all. Peace and calm in a season of overwhelming
My heart is with you & your family, Carlos. That’s a lot to deal with. I helped care for my dad as well & as much work & time as it was, it also was an honor. It’s been almost 16 years since he passed & I’m so grateful for the time with him. You are a beautiful soul & your family knows you can only do so much. Please give yourself some grace. God be with you all. ❤️
I was where you’re at now in 2022, but it did consume me. Anxiety took over and it wasn’t pretty. BUT….my husband helped immensely. A cousin did too. And my mom was in memory care, yet health issues had her in and out of the hospital 7x in a year. We have no hospital close by, so she was 25 miles away. I finally called my insurance provider and got routed to an incredible therapist to deal with the anxiety. She has been a huge help. Mom died in the summer of 2023. I’m forever grateful for her care team. She was a private person and they handled any embarrassing situations, like toileting issues, with dignity. So lean on those who are willing to help. And forgive yourself for not being able to do enough for your loved one. When your parent is sick and there’s nothing you can do, guilt is forever present. One other thing I learned that helps is to take 3 deep breathes before going in to see your parent and 3 more when you leave. It helps calm your nervous system.
I lost my beloved father to pancreatic cancer in 2012. It was devastating. I still have days where the grief hits me like a ton of bricks. In May of 2024 I just lost my best friend of 40+ years to appendiceal cancer. She was a true sister to me. I am lost without her but I am also blessed to have had her. As many of the comments state sometimes it is moment by moment. My mom will be 90 this month and I feel guilty because of my grief, I am not always fully present with her. Long story short I am overwhelmed as well. Thank you for sharing your challenges & heartbreak(s) with us. It definitely helps to feel less alone. My prayers are with you & your family at this most difficult time. May God provide you all with strength, guidance & comfort to see you through this season in life. 🙏💔❤️🙏
Bless your sweet dad. He’s a little possum. He ain’t going til he’s gone. ❤ thank you for your bold vulnerability Carlos. You are changing lives and helping to heal broken hearts
When I’m overwhelmed, I do the same thing you do - one day at a time, one hour at a time, however small it needs to be. I also tell myself what I know is true to help ground me, even if it seems obvious. I might say “my mom is alive” or “I am safe.” Telling myself the truth stops my mind from spiraling.
Oh Carlos… I’ve been in your shoes. It’s so hard to see your dad in this place and the empathy is soooo heavy. ❤ I know you’re doing all you can. I remember in my dad’s last months he would sleep more. And then have these moments of cognitive bursts. And then they grew farther apart as time went on and more sleep. Obviously no one can tell you when exactly the day will be, but take every moment you can with your dad.
I woke up very early today, feeling overwhelmed. So I came out to the living room and just cuddled with my dog on the couch, sitting and praying in the silence. Sometimes silence is healing.
November and December were my worst season ever. I learned to live not day by day, but hour by hour, minute by minute. Thank you for sharing a fraction of your life with all of us. I don't feel alone anymore.
Oh Carlos, I am so very sorry for everything you have going on right now. This moment will not last forever, change will come. Rest in peace and take time for the moments of joy as you lean into all your sorrow and grief. Praying for you and your family. 🙏🏻❤️✝️
This is so real and honest. My sister and I keep saying…why doesn’t anyone talks about this stage!?! Please know you are in our continuous prayers. As for what I do for these moments…I love to read, a book can take you far from reality, it’s a trip in the mind right from home.
I feel like I related so much to this. Different circumstances, but mid-life has been insane. So many things falling a part and sandwiched in between aging parents and grown children, and growing grandchildren. I try to be available and present, but this year, I feel it more and just can’t multitask like I use to. Trying to make better choices and letting go of things that just are busywork and unimportant. The guilt you expressed is so on point! I feel pulled in all directions. What helps me most is turning on worship and coffee shop dates with my husband and close friends, sharing thoughts and praying together. Honestly, I’m not sure I could make it without my faith in Jesus, and even with Him, it’s still not easy. I’m reading Job right now, so as you shared your overwhelming feelings, I thought about Job. I still don’t get why he suffered so much, and I’m sure you are feeling that at times. What I am trying to do is stay obedient and just keep trusting and worshipping Jesus even when I don’t get it. I’m 60 years old, and He has been with me through a lot and been so faithful. I am praying for you and all of your family. This is a lot, but God “sees you!” Thank you for your vulnerability, and allowing us the privilege to pray and lift you and your family up! May God wrap his loving arms around you and even pick you up and carry you through all of this. He’s got you! 🙏❤
Thank you for sharing these moments with us. May your soul continue to soak in every moment with your sweet dad. I'm familiar with the strange feeling of being torn apart inside and filled with love at the same time. 🙏 Bless all of you! sending peace and love to the whole family ❤️
Hospice can be a God send. Let them come and walk long and allow God to use them to lift the heavy burden. My husband passed from dementia. It is rough. Praying for you and your family. Especially for your precious mother. I am praying for the best Hospice workers. Praying for Gods grace, mercy, and love to pour out from them in exceeding abundance for your precious mom and dad.
Thank you for sharing. I am going through a very similar season and I feel less alone in it as you share your journey. I pray you continue to find your way through this incredibly difficult time.
Carlos, following you on Instagram and being part of the instafamilia has truly changed my life! I lost my Dad in December after a 15 month battle with stage four colon cancer. I can relate to every emotion you are having! Thank you so much for sharing your life in an open and honest way. I’m about halfway through your latest book and it’s already helping me so much. I will be praying for you and Heather and your families ❤
This vlog makes me feel very seen. I’m not in my mid life. I’m only 30. But this last July I experienced enough trauma for a decade. My mom and dad were involved in a bike accident on their tandem in July. My mom broke her tibia in 4 places. This resulted in 2 different surgeries, and she is still recovering. Right after my mom had her first surgery, my grandma (her mom) got sick and went to the hospital. It was determined she had a twisted intestines and there was nothing they could do for her at 90 yrs old. She was discharged a week later on hospice where she died a week a half later. My mom was unable to go see her and say a final goodbye due to just having had her second surgery and unable to walk let alone travel. I also couldn’t go see her cause I was caring for my mom. It was so difficult. We are all still processing it. This was my last grandparent. I never met my one grandma who passed before I was born, and both my grandpa’s passed when I was in high school and then college. And this grandma was so special to me. Hardest loss I have faced to this day
So sorry for all you are going through. It is Ok to admit that you are overwhelmed and life is hard. Your love for your family is so inspiring. Thank you for continuing to share your journey with us. Praying for wisdom and guidance in the coming days.🙏❤️
The journey of life has its trials and tribulations. Caring for our parents in ways no one could if ever expected. Embrace the love and challenges. Cry when you are feeling the times. God will show you the way.
Life’s feeling pretty overwhelming for me right now and I’m not coping as well as I’d like to be. Thank you for the reminder to take it one day at a time. Praying for you and your beautiful family
Oh it is so much. You are going through so much. I continue to lift up your family. It is wild how mid-life just creeps in. Earlier this year my Dad (72) needed a very serious heart surgery. It felt so overwhelming to take care of my family, do my job, and take care of my dad and then also my mom. This is minor in comparison, and yet, the push and pull we feel is just so hard. I am so encouraged to see all the ways God showed up for you in this little glimpse into your life. Your dad’s coherence and joy was just heartwarming. Losiah’s video game moments were just lovely. My heart goes out to you. ❤️
Prayers for the whole family - from Southern California. If Heather is in the area - I can take meals / sit with her / just be. Went through such a similar season of yours during 2020-2021 with a failing father with metastatic melanoma and dementia and nephew being unexpectedly killed in an accident (my sisters only child). Somehow you manage thru - often with lots of tears and you learn to prioritize life and family. The hardest part for me was trying to work and care for other patients when all I really wanted to do was be around family. I’m not so sure I was the best nurse in those days. Thought I think it make me a better one today Fast forward to Today as I sat in the ER all day with mom after a fall. Now figuring out the rest of the month for who will be with her. So I totally get it when you say overwhelmed. And how people don’t talk so much of how hard it is sometimes. Holding you guys up in prayer
My heart goes out to you and Heather and all you are dealing with. My prayer is that our Lord Jesus Christ will sustain you and give you the strength and peace you need every minute of the day.
I am so sorry. Please know I’m praying for you, Heather, her family and your family, that the God of Peace would be your guide! He is our Provider! Be with them Lord, in Jesus’ Name - Amen!
“I am overwhelmed but I am not destroyed” that is an incredible statement you made and one I need to repeat to myself. I’m in a similar season to you and I thank you for sharing your journey and helping others feel seen and less alone during this difficult season.
Thanks for watching Lori... We got this...
@@LoriCohen-j1e YES- I am overwhelmed but not destroyed… SO POWERFUL - I need that too right now in this season.
Same here, ladies. My grandma was hospitalized for a stroke. She was diagnosed with dementia at the end of 2020. My mom started dialysis this summer . I’m in New Mexico and they are in Florida. Some days, it is so hard to be so far.
We are overwhelmed but not destroyed.
Big hugs to you both.i just want you to know sometimes they have a really good day and that is at the end. They will probably see people from their past. It is so sweet to see them feel the love as they are leaving this cold world. We learned playing their favorite hymns helped them. My daughter was reading Psalm 23 as my dad took his last breath. He quoted it every night. It’s a horribly beautiful thing when they pass peacefully. Big hugs and lots of love to whole family. Big hugs to your son! But I. Believe seeing his parents taking care of their parents is an amazing thing for his heart!
Thank you for sharing, and showing us how we can pray for you, your family and those around you. You often ask us how you can do for us…. Now we can do for you. I lost my father in November. The season of grief is upon me. I see you and I’ll pray for you all. Peace and calm in a season of overwhelming
My heart is with you & your family, Carlos. That’s a lot to deal with. I helped care for my dad as well & as much work & time as it was, it also was an honor. It’s been almost 16 years since he passed & I’m so grateful for the time with him. You are a beautiful soul & your family knows you can only do so much. Please give yourself some grace. God be with you all. ❤️
I was where you’re at now in 2022, but it did consume me. Anxiety took over and it wasn’t pretty. BUT….my husband helped immensely. A cousin did too. And my mom was in memory care, yet health issues had her in and out of the hospital 7x in a year. We have no hospital close by, so she was 25 miles away. I finally called my insurance provider and got routed to an incredible therapist to deal with the anxiety. She has been a huge help. Mom died in the summer of 2023. I’m forever grateful for her care team. She was a private person and they handled any embarrassing situations, like toileting issues, with dignity. So lean on those who are willing to help. And forgive yourself for not being able to do enough for your loved one. When your parent is sick and there’s nothing you can do, guilt is forever present. One other thing I learned that helps is to take 3 deep breathes before going in to see your parent and 3 more when you leave. It helps calm your nervous system.
I’m so glad your husband and cousin were there to help you. And your mother’s care team sounds incredible.
I am so grateful for you sharing this journey so vulnerably with us. You are helping me feel less alone ❤
I am so glad you're feeling less alone.
Praying for your whole family. Thank you for sharing your vulnerable moments with us.
I lost my beloved father to pancreatic cancer in 2012. It was devastating. I still have days where the grief hits me like a ton of bricks. In May of 2024 I just lost my best friend of 40+ years to appendiceal cancer. She was a true sister to me. I am lost without her but I am also blessed to have had her.
As many of the comments state sometimes it is moment by moment.
My mom will be 90 this month and I feel guilty because of my grief, I am not always fully present with her. Long story short I am overwhelmed as well.
Thank you for sharing your challenges & heartbreak(s) with us. It definitely helps to feel less alone.
My prayers are with you & your family at this most difficult time. May God provide you all with strength, guidance & comfort to see you through this season in life.
🙏💔❤️🙏
Bless your sweet dad. He’s a little possum. He ain’t going til he’s gone. ❤ thank you for your bold vulnerability Carlos. You are changing lives and helping to heal broken hearts
When I’m overwhelmed, I do the same thing you do - one day at a time, one hour at a time, however small it needs to be. I also tell myself what I know is true to help ground me, even if it seems obvious. I might say “my mom is alive” or “I am safe.” Telling myself the truth stops my mind from spiraling.
That is such a good reminder to take it one step at a time, one moment at a time.
Oh Carlos… I’ve been in your shoes. It’s so hard to see your dad in this place and the empathy is soooo heavy. ❤ I know you’re doing all you can.
I remember in my dad’s last months he would sleep more. And then have these moments of cognitive bursts. And then they grew farther apart as time went on and more sleep. Obviously no one can tell you when exactly the day will be, but take every moment you can with your dad.
I woke up very early today, feeling overwhelmed. So I came out to the living room and just cuddled with my dog on the couch, sitting and praying in the silence. Sometimes silence is healing.
November and December were my worst season ever. I learned to live not day by day, but hour by hour, minute by minute. Thank you for sharing a fraction of your life with all of us. I don't feel alone anymore.
I'm so glad you can relate. It's definitely a season.
Oh Carlos, I am so very sorry for everything you have going on right now. This moment will not last forever, change will come. Rest in peace and take time for the moments of joy as you lean into all your sorrow and grief. Praying for you and your family. 🙏🏻❤️✝️
This is so real and honest. My sister and I keep saying…why doesn’t anyone talks about this stage!?! Please know you are in our continuous prayers. As for what I do for these moments…I love to read, a book can take you far from reality, it’s a trip in the mind right from home.
That's a great idea! I've got my book I'm devouring every night...
I feel like I related so much to this. Different circumstances, but mid-life has been insane. So many things falling a part and sandwiched in between aging parents and grown children, and growing grandchildren. I try to be available and present, but this year, I feel it more and just can’t multitask like I use to. Trying to make better choices and letting go of things that just are busywork and unimportant. The guilt you expressed is so on point! I feel pulled in all directions. What helps me most is turning on worship and coffee shop dates with my husband and close friends, sharing thoughts and praying together. Honestly, I’m not sure I could make it without my faith in Jesus, and even with Him, it’s still not easy. I’m reading Job right now, so as you shared your overwhelming feelings, I thought about Job. I still don’t get why he suffered so much, and I’m sure you are feeling that at times. What I am trying to do is stay obedient and just keep trusting and worshipping Jesus even when I don’t get it. I’m 60 years old, and He has been with me through a lot and been so faithful. I am praying for you and all of your family. This is a lot, but God “sees you!” Thank you for your vulnerability, and allowing us the privilege to pray and lift you and your family up! May God wrap his loving arms around you and even pick you up and carry you through all of this. He’s got you! 🙏❤
I'm so glad this resonated with you. I am still learning how to navigate this new chapter.
Thank you for sharing these moments with us. May your soul continue to soak in every moment with your sweet dad. I'm familiar with the strange feeling of being torn apart inside and filled with love at the same time. 🙏 Bless all of you! sending peace and love to the whole family ❤️
Thank you so much for sharing. 🙏
Our week was overwhelming, too. This is the first TH-cam I’ve watched of yours (usually catch you on IG stories) and it really resonated. ❤
Welcome to the channel! I'm glad you found something relatable.
Hospice can be a God send. Let them come and walk long and allow God to use them to lift the heavy burden. My husband passed from dementia. It is rough. Praying for you and your family. Especially for your precious mother. I am praying for the best Hospice workers. Praying for Gods grace, mercy, and love to pour out from them in exceeding abundance for your precious mom and dad.
Thank you for sharing. I am going through a very similar season and I feel less alone in it as you share your journey.
I pray you continue to find your way through this incredibly difficult time.
You are not alone...
Carlos, following you on Instagram and being part of the instafamilia has truly changed my life! I lost my Dad in December after a 15 month battle with stage four colon cancer. I can relate to every emotion you are having! Thank you so much for sharing your life in an open and honest way. I’m about halfway through your latest book and it’s already helping me so much. I will be praying for you and Heather and your families ❤
Sending you much love to all of your families. ❤
This vlog makes me feel very seen. I’m not in my mid life. I’m only 30. But this last July I experienced enough trauma for a decade. My mom and dad were involved in a bike accident on their tandem in July. My mom broke her tibia in 4 places. This resulted in 2 different surgeries, and she is still recovering. Right after my mom had her first surgery, my grandma (her mom) got sick and went to the hospital. It was determined she had a twisted intestines and there was nothing they could do for her at 90 yrs old. She was discharged a week later on hospice where she died a week a half later. My mom was unable to go see her and say a final goodbye due to just having had her second surgery and unable to walk let alone travel. I also couldn’t go see her cause I was caring for my mom. It was so difficult. We are all still processing it. This was my last grandparent. I never met my one grandma who passed before I was born, and both my grandpa’s passed when I was in high school and then college. And this grandma was so special to me. Hardest loss I have faced to this day
So sorry for all you are going through. It is Ok to admit that you are overwhelmed and life is hard. Your love for your family is so inspiring. Thank you for continuing to share your journey with us. Praying for wisdom and guidance in the coming days.🙏❤️
It is so hard, but you are right, it’s okay to not be okay.
The journey of life has its trials and tribulations. Caring for our parents in ways no one could if ever expected. Embrace the love and challenges. Cry when you are feeling the times. God will show you the way.
As hard of a season this is, you will look back and be thankful you had this opportunity. God Bless you and yours, Carlos.
Of course... Love from here.
Life’s feeling pretty overwhelming for me right now and I’m not coping as well as I’d like to be. Thank you for the reminder to take it one day at a time. Praying for you and your beautiful family
It’s okay to not be okay.
Oh it is so much. You are going through so much. I continue to lift up your family. It is wild how mid-life just creeps in. Earlier this year my Dad (72) needed a very serious heart surgery. It felt so overwhelming to take care of my family, do my job, and take care of my dad and then also my mom. This is minor in comparison, and yet, the push and pull we feel is just so hard. I am so encouraged to see all the ways God showed up for you in this little glimpse into your life. Your dad’s coherence and joy was just heartwarming. Losiah’s video game moments were just lovely. My heart goes out to you. ❤️
I feel you! It really is a push and pull isn't it?
Thinking of you and all your family with care. Its sad to view yet an absolute testament to family love. Thank you
Thanks for your kind words!
One day at a time. Tiny moments of peace.❤️
My heart goes out to you. Sit in the overwhelm and let God prevail. He’ll guide you along the way.
Amen. 🙏
Thanks for all you do. ✨
You are so welcome!
Prayers for the whole family - from Southern California. If Heather is in the area - I can take meals / sit with her / just be.
Went through such a similar season of yours during 2020-2021 with a failing father with metastatic melanoma and dementia and nephew being unexpectedly killed in an accident (my sisters only child). Somehow you manage thru - often with lots of tears and you learn to prioritize life and family. The hardest part for me was trying to work and care for other patients when all I really wanted to do was be around family. I’m not so sure I was the best nurse in those days. Thought I think it make me a better one today Fast forward to Today as I sat in the ER all day with mom after a fall. Now figuring out the rest of the month for who will be with her. So I totally get it when you say overwhelmed. And how people don’t talk so much of how hard it is sometimes. Holding you guys up in prayer
thank you
Its a heavy season. You are seen❤Praying for you and your whole family
Thank you
My heart goes out to you and Heather and all you are dealing with. My prayer is that our Lord Jesus Christ will sustain you and give you the strength and peace you need every minute of the day.
I am so sorry. Please know I’m praying for you, Heather, her family and your family, that the God of Peace would be your guide! He is our Provider! Be with them Lord, in Jesus’ Name - Amen!
💕💕💕