Let's make the Factual Feminist the leader of feminism. That way REAL issues can be discussed and presented in a way that doesn't involve rhetorical screaming or spitting on men.
+The Abominable Snowman she pretty much is man, its actual feminism based on education and understanding. but the internet stands in the way of others understanding things. You wouldn't call alex jones the leader of politics.. But the word Feminist has been high jacked by social justice warriors who just had their first sociology lecture at college.
Regret is not rape! And If I get drunk and sleep with some random drunk guy, If I say he raped me because I was drunk, then that same goes as I raped him because he was drunk too? I've been saying the same things that were said in this video. Rape is a problem, but calling someone looking at you sexually, or bumping into you in a crowd rape is making actual rape look not as bad, and the poor women, and men who deal with actual rape are being lost amongst this lynch mob of idiots screaming "I've been raped too!!" It doesn't happen to everyone, so normalizing it is not fighting the issue. I'm sorry I am losing my temper this subject makes me very upset.
Quinn Fletcher Well he shouldn't take advantage but it's technically not rape or his fault because she consented, and what if he didn't know she was drunk?
Oh thank god there are still women who use logic and understanding. Who see real issues for what they are and also take responsibility for their actions. You are amazing.
Don't forget about the NON-VERBAL cues. If I had a penny everytime a girl claimed she was raped because the guy didn't pay attention to her non-verbal cues while she was having sex with him, I'd be rich.
Guess what: If you really have such issues you can simply ask your fellow students or your professor/teacher to give you a brief synopsis or google that stuff on the internet. There are two ways this proposal can turn out: You either print really vague stuff like "sexual content" which doesn't protect anyone from any stressor because it is not specific. Or you write: "Contains horrifiying scenes of rape and sexual violence." Of course it will be the usual suspects who define such terms and will soon label media as "sexist" or "racist". After a while students who read books labelled as "misogynistic" or "containing racist language" could be dissuaded to read them at all because they do not want to appear to condone anything racist or sexist. In the end you have especially people who would most profit from reading not reading books because of peer pressure. Or you have professors or students who can get bullied using the tactics of simply labelling their papers and books as "sexist" etc. (Which is already a common tactic to silence people. Ask the psychometricians community or ask Sandra Harding, who labelled Newton's Principia a "rape manual".) PTSD is also something that you can't treat through avoidance. You will be triggered constantly because escpecially heavy violence and sexual violence are pretty prevalent in our media. I didn't speak out against consideration and for taking pain lightly. But in my view this is an approach to silence dissenting voices and ways of expression in the name of political correctness which is far too high a price to please a tiny minority of oversensitive zealots who do not even have the illnesses they mention. I would not be "oppressed" by warning people but I would be oppressed if someone who doesn't like me labels my work or the works I reference in a derogatory way. That you can't see that even after listening to the video is disappointing.
It's because those people use them as a shield. I don't live in the United States but in Germany and I have never, ever seen a homosexual person or an ethnic person speak out and a university. All the talk about racism and sexism, that is almost always in the form of accusation is done by white, middle class, heterosexual students who use the imagined plight of minorities in order to gain points with the social justice crowd. They don't care for justice, they don't care for values. They do this because they can instill guilt in other people and exploit the hell out of it. They are manipulators and they have to be stopped.
But that is not what we are talking about. If both are drunk it is NOT rape. But somehow modern "feminists" will still claim that it is, because the man is always at fault somehow. Regretting an act that you willingly partook in is not the same as being forced to do it.
When I was 14 I falsely accused someone of rape because of this ideology. Thank god it wasn't to authorities and I immediately came to my senses and straightened it out. But still, I will never forgive myself for it.
You need to publisize this more. Tell the world what you were manipulated into doing. Feminism manipulated you into becoming a manipulator too. Its a poison ideology. Spread the word. Then you will find peace within yourself. Think of the lives you can save if you draw attention to false accusations, and the real reason why they happen... feminism.
Shinisou Thats a shame. Hopefully one day you'll feel no shame. I don't hold it against you. Good people 'wake up.'' They smell the shit of third wave feminism and some have the courage to do something about it. I personally knew two girls who made false rape claims. It happens all the time these days. Men's Right's activists have known this stuff for a long time, the trouble is that nobody will stand up and say 'I made a false rape claim.' So its not like MRAs have any way to publisize it legitimately. I don't know what country you're in, but if you ever change your mind, contact someone called Karen Straughn. I'm sure she'd be interested in getting your story out there. It could be the single most important story to the MRA movement.
The splash made by that sexual assault scandal is still rippling today. I don't know how involved 'feminism' was in that, but it's damn near impossible for me to get a babysitting gig. Doesn't matter how many glowing references I have from various summer camps I've worked at, the babysitting or first aid courses I've taken, the background checks I've gotten, or the fact that the kids I have watched in the past (mostly younger cousins) invariably adore me. Doesn't matter that the parents I've spoken with after the fact are stunned at how positive an influence I am on their kids because I encourage reading, creative and imaginative play, physical activity and an interest in the natural world. As soon as they find out I'm male, they assume I'm a poor caretaker at best or a molester at worst, because how on Earth could a young man be good with kids? I have been told to my face on multiple occasions that they won't take me because I'm a guy. It's very annoying and really cuts into that extra pocket money I could be getting, never mind the blatant and overt sexism.
+The Nymanator As someone who is horrible with kids & would never consider childcare as a profession, be it part time or full time...that's something I never thought about. & it's kinda fucked up on their parts. & it's also perpetuating the antiquated notion that only women are fit to raise & care for children.
There is a victim mentality creating unnecessary drama and stereotypes and unfortunately a real people sometimes have to suffer from it, you're the case, but fortunately this is one of the better case in which it showed off
In Australia it's becoming a law that any man accused of rape is assumed guilty until proven innocent, I can't believe anyone listens to these ludicrous statements and acts on them too.
Step One: When a woman is discovered to have KNOWINGLY and VICIOUSLY falsely accused a man of rape, then she needs to be dealt with as seriously as genuine rapists. Why? Because she has now DESTROYED this man's life. He's going to have to utterly change his identity if he's to have any chance of living a normal life. She has essentially RAPED him in a sense. Yet these women are heralded as heroes to the cause and if they are punished, it's with a slap on the wrist. The girl who is carrying around her mattress knows she falsely accused that man of rape and yet is continuing with the charade for attention. She needs to be punished for her actions. When false accusers start facing harsher punishments for their lies then genuine victims of rape will have a safe place to go with their claims because they will be taken seriously. A man who has had his life ruined by such a woman should have legal recourse to charge her with defamation of character.
+Ceara Ivory And after Mattress girl graduated she decided to do a sex tape showing the world what date rape looked like. You won't find it on TH-cam because it's XXX or too pornographic. How many rape victims would want to do that? It absolutely hurt her credibility. It's like she loves attention.
+Arofed I agree that false rape is HORRIBLE. But please don't equate that to rape - a foreign object entering your body, being tortured and mutilated, unable to stop it because there are too many men holding you down. Yes it is absolutely horrible and there should be consequences for going to those lengths. As a survivor advocate, I take great offense when I come across someone who has been proven to have falsely accused someone of raping him/her. I'm very committed to not minimizing the experience of someone who has gone through this, but it is not the same as rape.
We aren't minimizing it Kristen. But a man who has been falsely accused will be tortured and mutilated at least emotionally by those around him. He will likely lose his job and his livelihood. He will lose everything even if he is found innocent and the woman who accused him will get off because the law will be too afraid that real victims will be too afraid to come forward. False rape accusers are as bad as rapists not just for that alone, but THEY marginalize and minimize what you went through. They don't CARE what you went through at all.
As a woman who has at different times been raped, falsely accused of rape and also asked which one she would prefer (while being held down and threatened with one if she did not accept the other)... I can tell you that the experience of dealing with a false allegation and the fallout afterwards was similar, and in some ways worse/more isolating than rape. I don't think we are going anywhere with this problem while we compete over who has it worst. We don't currently have a way forward, but I know it won't be that.
She's not a shrieking banshee who think's every man isn't trying to rape her nor does she hate herself for being white. She had no place among the modern 3rd wave feminists.
Excellent video. The statistic that 1 in 5 campus students have been sexually assaulted came from a questionnaire that ask "have you ever had sex when you didn't want to?" If the student answered yes, this was classed by the feminist interviewers to be a 'sexual assault' and has hence resulted in massively skewed statistics on the matter
So UNWANTED sexual contact? That doesn't necessarily sound like rape, but more to the point did the unwanted contact lead to more bad behavior? Of course women get touched, but it's one thing if the women are with someone they are talking, making eyes with, holding hands with, flirting with, kissing. As opposed to someone who just walked up on the street, and groped them. Especially unexperienced young men don't really know when they should make pass, or how sexual that pass should be. BUt even that, most men know when to take no for answer. Men aren't mind readers, and so being in an environment for the first time where alcohol is available freely, where there is a large potential number of sexual partners (for both genders) and in general there is a great deal more contact between the genders than there ever was before, of course men are going to get it wrong a lot. So long as that doesn't lead a woman being assaulted or raped, or molested, or whatever escalation you want to put there, then it's really quite harmless.
I think that's true. Katie Roiphe's quote "to find wanted sexual attention you have to give and receive a certain amount of unwanted sexual attention" is right, or at least you have to risk it. If you manage to take those risks and always get it right you've had astoundingly good beginner's luck!!! I think this is an area where men's voice just isn't heard. As the traditional instigator he has to take a risk; and once upon a time all he risked was rejection and embarassment - now he risks being labelled a creep, being accused of sexual harassment (there is a real thing that is sexual harassment. I know I've been on the receiving end of it. It is not someone showing you attention that you feel uncomfortable with; it is them knowing you feel uncomfortable and continuing to do it precisely because it gives them a feeling of power. It is not someone making a pass and the person on the receiving end simply feeling awkward - which is how I feel it's come to be used to mean), he can get a reputation as a pest, he can have some idiot doing a blog video about him like that poor guy who offered coffee to Rebecca Watson. The stakes are too high, and guys feel scared - women don't understand that, they think "I'm dropping hints why isn't he making a move?", because we can't risk being wrong! Ironically the guys who wind up as wallflowers because they're trying to avoid being labelled as creeps, when they talk of their loneliness or frustration they get told they have a sense of entitlement! They do NOT have a sense of entitlement - they don't even feel entitled to express their feelings! Because feminists exclusively only give value to the female voice they think "well we don't want guys we don't like hitting on us" but they've never been put into the risk taking role. Now, I've been hit on by someone I wasn't interested in. A few times; most of them gay men (two women - one who was deeply unattractive, and one who was drunk, married and quite vulgar, but... otherwise I was a little tempted - if I'd been a bit more desperate that week... er... got sidetracked.). It is awkward; and some of my responses have been no better than women's to be honest. I've made my excuses and fled (that was the second time a gay guy made a pass. The first time I innocently thought the guy had made a mistake - "I'm not a girl; you know that don't you?" I said... he wasn't obviously gay you see - just obviously a bit drunk), I've taken the phone number anyway and thrown it away, I've been plain rude. I think as I get older I get better. A guy put his hand on my knee in a pub when I was in my thirties; I moved it away and said "sorry, that ain't happening". I never hated on any of them. It made me a bit more forgiving of the stuff some girl's do because I get why they do it. But it's made me very intolerant of their shaming and complaining and dubbing people "creeps". FFS! He was a human being, he took a risk. Who actually is acting entitled now?!
Can I add though; I know when gay guys risk making an unwanted pass or unwanted proposition they risk having the crap beaten out of them. I have checked my privilege in that regard at least. :-) I do not envy them that aspect; but in safe environments like gay clubs they will at least know that the other guy (if he is gay) is going to at least understand because he has to take those self-same risks himself.
Unwanted sexual attention, as Mrmessage points out, doesn't mean rape, it means any form of unwanted sexual contact, like someone trying to kiss you or someone making a pass, or during a kiss the hand that goes somewhere new where you're not ready to be touched just yet. There is always the possibility of a rejection long before you get anywhere near actual sex. Your response I think is a knee-jerk one based on fear - let me put it this way - no one normal wants to have sex with someone who doesn't want to have sex with them - there is nothing rewarding or beneficial in that. Get this into your head - no one normal wants to rape anyone. Secondly - do you think rape is accidental, or can be accidental? Because I'm inclined to think it can't be; for that reason - there are plenty of possibilities for rejection all the way up to the act itself, so that by the time you get anywhere near there communication will have been exchanged about the willingness of both participants. Put those two facts together and you will realise that your fear is pretty ungrounded. The risks that are taken are taken in the hope that the desire is reciprocated; at any stage you can demonstrate the lack of reciprocation and unless that person is a sociopath that will be enough to put them off. How do you deal with someone you are not interested in making a pass at you. Do you tell them "sorry, I think you've made a mistake" and firmly make your lack of interest clear or do you shame them and accuse them of sexual harassment? (and as I stated above; there is a real thing that is harassment and there are things that have been labelled as harassment that are merely flirting, including even innuendo or inviting someone to your room for coffee). What if someone you are interested in makes the same pass? What if someone you are interested in won't make a pass because he's fearful he's going to have the same reaction you'd give the guy you weren't interested in? Think about that. How much do you want to deter the guy you're interested in? Because when you treat the people you're not interested in as scum for trying you're sending the message to all guys not to try that, and that means the guy you want to try that won't try that either. Does that make sense? That was all Roiphe was saying.
Under most countries laws to rape someone requires you to penetrate them. You could be charged with sexual assault though. I don't know about US law but here a woman could drug, tie up and sodomize a man with a strap-on and would still not be a rapist as the law specifies rape as penetration by penis. Yep it's legally impossible for a woman to rape. It would still be a "Serious Sexual Assault" though.
Guys can not want sex and still have erections, so penetration is not out. Bodily function doesn't always correlate with what you want. As for Sodomy it's legally called something different, but the charges and penalties are the same.
In fact I would say being raped for guys is horrifying because their bodies tend to do something they do not want it to do. I would assume this happens to some women as well but I've only heard that mention in male testimonials, but since some women question whether or not they wanted it afterwards I would assume a similar response happened to them. It's really sad.
I have done a little research since my post. From UK government website defining rape: "Section 1 provides that it is an offence for a person (A) to penetrate with his penis the vagina, anus or mouth of another person (B), either intentionally or recklessly, without that person's consent, and without any reasonable belief that B consents." By definition in order to rape (under UK law) one must have a penis and use it to penetrate (it does later say the law does include a penis attached during gender reassignment), By UK law if a woman forces sex on a man she can be charged with sexual assault, it's not rape because she didn't penetrate him with a penis... considering the two charges carry the same maximum penalty I'm just being pedantic here really. That said I do agree with your original post's sentiment, it's infuriating that two people can get drunk and have sex but it's only ever the man being accused of taking advantage.
My girlfriend opened up to me recently after over a year together about how her mum got her to falsely accuse a young boy of sexual touching when she was in primary school because she thought that she was being touched in school and refused her objections until she finally gave in and pointed at an innocent boy in her class. To this day she warns her about rape from every male influence in her life from her brother, to uncles, her sisters husband etc as if any man given the chance is just waiting for an opportunity to rape a woman. Needless to say this has affected her greatly one example of this is that she felt it did not allow her to have a close relationship with her older brother because he was forced to avoid her after her mum accused him of inappropriately touching her when they were approximately 16 and 12 respectively, again despite her protestation that nothing of the sort had ever happened. As a result she is envious of the relationship I have with my sister and wishes she could have had the same. I am at university and I sometimes get random calls from my sister just wanting to tell me about her day or ask about mine. My sister and I would never have been able to be close if I felt that I would be accused of something if I took an interest in her life. In fact my parents have asked me in the past to talk to my sister after she started acting weirdly because she finds it easier to talk to me. This proved important when she was getting bullied at school and could not open up to my parents about it no matter how much they asked. This not only goes to show the problems with making women live in constant fear of abuse from their male counterparts, but also the benefits of advocating for healthy relationships between males and females in all settings in society. This does not even address the damage done to the boy in question who was reprimanded for an act he never committed.
I tried to share this with my sister when we got into an argument about Donald Trump's remarks, she just batted it away and called me a sexist. Gotta love that mob mentality
I once had a friend who thought it was hilarious to randomly scream rape whenever we would play in her pool...I always tried to insist to her that she shouldn't do that because it is an actual serious matter and I would also like to not have my face pounded in by her 6' 3" overprotective father.
That’s terrible to do to you and very disrespectful to women and girls who are actually terrified to say they were raped. I used to hate it when kids would do that.
+bike4aday That is an excellent point! But don't put down all feminists for a few bad apples that make the rest of us look bad. I recently spoke at a conference and one of the male members of the audience came up and spoke with me about how men are being vilified and left out of the anti-rape movement because of the numbers. I completely agree with both of you. Yes, the numbers show that a majority of rapists are in fact white heterosexual men, BUT there are not very many white heterosexual men who rape. Just like you say, we need to remember that the men who rape are the sociopaths. Hopefully men will become allies in the anti-sexual violence movement, not just to defend your reputations, but because violence happens to men too.
+Kristen Tebow It baffles me that not all feminists think like you. Or Christina, for that matter. I respect you for trying to defend feminism and to a certain extent, I do think there are some people keeping "actual feminism" alive. But I think people should focus more on the equal rights of everyone instead of just women. "Feminism" is very heavily weighed towards the favor of women, and it should not be that way. I'm not even talking about men in particular, I'm talking about equality worldwide for every race, sex, faith, sexuality, etc. That's the fight that should be fought. Not manspreading or gamergate or MRA's or whatever the hell. Feminists these days (Not saying you are) are so confrontational and divisive, it needs to stop.
Exactly. The two genders are so equal in opportunity that we need to stop separating genders and get down to the real problems. Like, let's stop harassment, for everyone. Some studies show that harassment happens more towards women than men, but it's bad to do it against men too, so why not stop both? Let's get more law enforcement. Let's make the justice system more efficient so that all victims can have their offenders brought to justice sooner, including rape victims. Like, why are we setting priorities based on the gender which is the majority of victims? I mean, 60% of violent crimes are men against other men. Yet, no Feminists gives a shit because 65% of harassment is towards women. Why does it even matter? Let's stop ALL crime. Separating every situation by gender is just rendering one gender not a victim, which is stupid.
I have been waiting for years for someone in the MRM (or at least someone advocating TRUE gender equality) to bring up the McMartin case, and it's parallels with modern day feminism. Thank you.
It's sad that this goes beyond just college campus. Even in the real world, this is still a problem. Guilty until proven innocent. Even if found not guilty in a court of law, the life of the accused will be ruined forever. I am a man, and I have never been more afraid.
I have to disagree with your implied assertion that "A foolish drunken hookup" cannot be a felony rape. If someone is intoxicated to the point where their ability to consent to sexual intercourse is impaired, then it does enter the realm of felony rape. We already live in a society where too much disinformation about rape is spread around.
So if both of the parties are drunk did they rape each other? What if the drunk woman is the sexual aggressor in the situation, is it then the man's responsibility to endure and deter her advances?
a sober lady cornering and getting knocked up by a drunk rich kid or senior about to graduate to a 100,000 dollar job. Why isn't that considered part of "Rape Culture"? Poor lady gets a cute little baby and a rich husband for the next 20 or at least a cute baby and a paycheck. As a fine specimen, I'm very wary of being the target of such a scam. I almost don't want to study hard so I'm not on the radar of one of these creeps who can't help them selves, as I know that when I've had a few I'm a creep who couldn't help but play along. Mean submitting to the affections of a beautiful woman.
razorlikeblue Well, for starters, it's not "Drunk" but "So impaired that you can't give consent." So, more accurately probably blackout drunk. If both parties were that drunk, then yes, they did rape each other. It would be up to the prosecutor to determine how to proceed. EDIT: I was incorrect about this above statement. I forgot that typically there is a rule regarding that you must be aware or should have been aware of the other party's intoxication. Obviously if both parties are too drunk to consent, then neither can be expected to be aware of the other party's inebriation. My intent was to draw a parallel to mutual child rape (Where two underage minors have consensual sex without a Romeo and Juliet Law in place) to show the technical operation, but I fucked it up. My bad. I am not going to remove the statement because I feel it's dishonest to cover up your fuck ups. If the incapacitated drunk woman was the sexual aggressor, then yes you have a responsibility to at least not have sex with her. The same would apply if the genders were reversed.
*"Ooooh yes, but the road from legitimate suspicion to rampant paranoia is very much shorter than we think. Something is wrong here Mr Worf. I do not like what we've become!"* You know what's sad? I didn't even have to look that up and i'm pretty sure that it's verbatim too. lol
She should tell that to the guy that raped me in college. The rape I never reported because I'm in the south where rape is not really considered a crime because women ask for it.
Nice to see some of the comments here. Take a look at some of the stuff folks are writing under this video over at Rawstory.com - it's pretty despairing. We are definitely pretty deep in it again as far as the campuses go; don't know how far it's going to spread from there but if history is a teacher it's going to spread for sure. Every boy going off to school should lawyer up before he gets there; daycare workers should be video taping everything bearing in mind that even documented reality is no defense against these zealots of justice and love. Ms. Sommers, you ask what to do? I think you and Camille need to activate other feminist activists on campus; there 'must' be some kids out there who are horrified by this. What about their boyfriends? What about the men they care about? What about their love of literature and disgust for censorship in the name of "Trigger Warnings"? There must be 'some' who see this for what it is and are willing to speak out about it! That's all I can think of that can be effective; the rest of us are reduced to 'rape apologists' etc... (see Rawstory comments.) You know the media isn't going to present the other side of this horror until it's too late and then only reluctantly; in the daycare horror there was one, count em' 'one', writer who took these fanatics on through her column in the WA P; she was the one journalist who defended Kelly Michaels, one of the first victims of the New Age feminists who believed satanic cults were using kids in daycare centers for rituals; that journalists name was Dorothy Rabinowitz and her book "No Crueler Tyrannies" about that era is essential reading. Thanks for the video. I really hope this can be nipped in the bud but I've seen it before and I just don't think this train is stoppable once it's left the station unless some of it's more reluctant passengers realize they've been kidnapped and storm the engine.
Yeah great "The Great Gatsby" gets a trigger warning but when I complain about the adverts for a certain movie that has hate towards men in their video I got told by a bunch of women that it wasn't hate at all.
1. We need to accept that false rape accusations exist and are not negligible. 2. We need to acknowledge that rape cannot be stopped by "telling men that rape is bad" or other such strategies which aim to create a culture which condemns rape. We already have a culture which condemns rape. There are biological reasons that men rape - it gives the man a chance to spread his genes without making efforts to gain a woman's approval or spending resources on the offspring. The only risk is if he gets caught and other people punish him. In some instances, it is cost-effective for men to rape and therefore, it happens. For women, on the other hand, it is very costly to be raped - they have to carry a child for nine months (and take care of it for years, if they want it to survive) and they have not had a chance to evaluate the genes of the father. We reduce the problem of rape by acknowledging the real reasons that people rape and then reduce the circumstances which lead to rape. I.e. we shift the focus from "rape culture" to something more effective.
I agree with you, we also need to teach society as a whole that false allegations of such a serious crime are neither acceptable or productive to society as a whole. Least of all we need to educate society that such allegations should not be used as a means of revenge or spite. Anyone found guilty of deliberately trying to ruin someones life is committing a selfish act which is a crime, it is not something society should simply brush off when the allegation is proven false, sadly nobody seems to want to address this selfish often vindictive crime, yet the very same society is more than willing to punish people for deformation of character, does nobody see that falsely accusing someone of rape is the worst deformation of character anyone can commit?
writerconsidered The best place to start I would hazard a guess would be with education and public awareness. The biggest issue will be addressing the fallacious figures being touted by various groups. All of the most touted figures spawned from using the sorely inaccurate and inherently bias Duluth model of survey questionnaires. We need to do some independent and meaningful surveys to get to the real figures for both genders, which in turn will help the genuine victims of this most heinous crime. 1. Independent none gender bias survey's, audited and monitored by several independent peer groups. 2. Systematic removal of the false figures from all academic studies, media, and political arenas, they should then be replaced with the genuine figures. 3. Education on the subject of self responsibility, while I agree everyone has a right to express themselves. There are common sense actions everyone can take to prevent crime of any type. E.g. Everyone locks their homes and car doors, we don't preach "don't teach me how to secure my home/car, teach the thieves not to steel" we are as a species still immature therefore we must accept the inevitable fact there are criminals out there and that prevention measures can and do help. 4. We need to address the ideological hatred being taught under the guise of "gender/female studies" whilst the study of such things is in principle not sexist, we all know if a degree course named male studies was proposed it would be shut down before it could even begin for being gender bias (sexist). If gender/female studies is to continue, then it needs to teach real history warts and all, not the false patriarchy model it is currently preaching as fact. The blatantly fictitious nonsense can all soon be revealed by scratching the surface to reveal the truth, it is currently being taught by ideologues in the hope of generating gender hatred to support their ideological/political beliefs, education should remain a none gender bias system, sadly that is not the case. Peace
"There are biological reasons that men rape - it gives the man a chance to spread his genes without making efforts to gain a woman's approval or spending resources on the offspring." While this account sounds plausible based on purely biological factors, human beings are far more than their reproductive biology. They are, for example, social beings and this is as firmly grounded in their biology as their sex. And so what appears to be a good strategy when considering only a narrow set of factors, can turn out to be a very bad strategy when considering all factors. What do we know about most male rapists? Are they somehow more natural and instinctive than the normal run of men? Nope - they are usually highly damaged and dysfunctional individuals. Rape is not a natural function in human beings - it is an expression of dysfunction. Biological reductionism and determinism is very dangerous. Firstly, we are not simple automata driven by our biology - we are complex social beings who while certainly being influenced by our biology in some respects and to some degree, also have cognition and significant scope to determine who we are for ourselves. This latter aspect of what it is to be human is just as real and substantive as every other aspect. Put another way: it is important not to forget that you have a highly complex organ between your ears as well as the relatively simple one between your legs. Secondly, and even more importantly, neither you, nor anyone else, can say you understand how human beings work based on some insight you may have into their biology. By the time you strip out the complexity which your model requires, you no longer have a human being and so, in effect, your model cannot teach us anything useful about them. An important part of the thinking that informs the people who create and believe this rape culture bullshit is precisely the same kind of thinking that you indulge in. They too believe that men naturally want to rape women and so they must be trained out of this behaviour beginning at a young age and society must devise more effective ways of controlling and managing their bestial natures. If what you say is true then they are perfectly correct. Personally I don't want to be subjected to these controls, and I do not want my son to be subjected to reconditioning, which would be the rational social response given your theory. You are not a feminist by any chance are you because you certainly sound like one? Or perhaps you simply want women to accept being raped because, after all, it is only the natural expression of the male biological imperative. Well, good luck with getting women to accept that proposal!
aporiac Ok, lots of misunderstandings. I am not a biological determinist - I know that a person's action is a result of a combination of nature and nurture. My point is to include the biological factors - not to only use the biological factors. It is true that feminists often believe in some male instinct to rape, but they know too little about this to come up with an effective solution. I don't believe that rape is an expression of dysfunction - I believe that it is a natural urge which arise under CERTAIN circumstances. These circumstances are probably often the same circumstances which "dysfunctional" individuals are in. If you have a functional social sphere (which condemns rape), resources and genes that are attractive to women (and thereby have access to sex with women) and realize that being caught raping someone (either by your social sphere or the legal system) would pose greater disadvantages than the pleasure you get from raping - then, you probably won't rape. But if you are at the bottom of society, no women want to have sex with you, you have bad self-control, you have no social group - then rape might be your only chance to spread your genes (and therefore the urge to rape might arise). My solution to the problem is not to train men from an early age (that approach will certainly not do anything at all to prevent rape). What I propose, is that we investigate under which circumstances rape occurs and then minimize these circumstances. For instance, if lack of a social group is a risk factor, then we could start projects which help people who are lonely to find friends. If late nights and people walking home from clubs are risk factors, then we could have more night buses. Rape exist in other species as well and I think that this is a pretty good indication that it is natural. However, that it is natural is no excuse and doesn't mean that it is any better. I'm currently reading "A Natural History of Rape: Biological Bases of Sexual Coercion", by Thornhill and Palmer. I recommend it to anyone interested in this topic. They also argue that taking biology into consideration is crucial to finding an effective way to decrease rape.
+Thanks Chill. As a scientist I would think she could have figured out a way to work that in there without getting too dry. Lord knows bibliographies have no place in most speeches:-)
She has separate videos going over statistics like the "1 in 5 women at colleges are sexually assaulted." Just look at some of her other sexual assault myth videos for something more concrete. It seems that sometimes she goes over the same topic many times, but doesn't include the same information in all her videos as that would make them too long. I agree though that this video, and some of her others, can be a bit lacking.
Professor Sommers -- I want to thank you for what you're doing, and for all of your work. Only in the last few weeks, we can see how thin the veneer of charity and compassion toward men is in our society. What you have to say is absolutely essential for a sane and rational climate. One very small performative critique: you have a tendency to let your speaking voice modulate, alternatingly high and low, forceful and soft. It can make the simple act of listening a challenge. A purely constructive-intended suggestion would be to make a conscious effort to speak slightly more forcefully. I'm not advocating a dull monotone. But I have to keep riding the volume or re-playing bits. But much more important: please keep making more videos! I think we are downright starving for this kind of grown-up, measured, thoughtful analysis. Thank you again!
It's great to see a real feminist. Your speach was very well put together. You had very good points for your argument and displayed them flawlessly. Great video.
+Dennis Chiang You have got to be the most patient person and one of the best debaters I have ever seen on TH-cam. You explain your point of view beautifully with your personal understanding of the system of Feminism, the false idea behind "rape culture" while supporting your pov with evidence. The young girl you were arguing with just does not understand that her actions to enforce that we live in a rape culture is doing more harm than good. Also-- she believes in the patriarchy theory, which tells me there is no hope for her since she is already in the mind think that men are to blame for this "rape culture" and sees women as these delicate flowers who "could never lie about sexual assault". She is a lost cause. Her heart is in the right place, but like most feminists, she only sees the end goal of Equality, but fails to see the journey to get there. And within that journey, many people (men mostly) can have their lives destroyed because of Feminists thinking that Women are always victims, and Men are always abusers. I wish you luck in your future after you finish your education. It makes me hopeful that there are people like you out there who follow logic reasoning and can see the world both objectively and subjectively. Feminists focus too much on their feelings and expect everyone to listen to them-- because they think only THEY are right because of what they are feeling. But we have solid evidence, facts, examples and a brain to critique the world around us, instead of relying on blind faith. Good luck to you. :) ~ an admirer
Hmmm there is no evidence that suggests people report drunk hookups as rape cases. I watched her several other videos but she seems to present one sided evidence if she presents any. She can have her own opinions but opinions are not facts and what she is doing in her videos seems a bit too misleading. I felt like commenting on this video because historically and still to this day, allegations of rape have not been always taken seriously, and unlike other crime, sexual crime victims often were treated as if they were responsible for the crime. Unfortunately this video seems to trivialize rape and shame rape victims by implying that some reported rape cases are just drunk hookups. Each reported case should be treated seriously and decisions should be made based on evidence. This video seems to imply that "some reported rape cases are just drunk hookups so we don't necessarily have to take rape accusations seriously". This will only deter people from reporting crime when it happens. Report rate for sexual crime is already low... why create/perpetuate another rape myth?
She actually said that some feminist try to impose the fact that if you had sexe when you were drunk, then its rape. She is actually saying that we should stop messing around with rape because its a serious crime that invole living people and not just a hastag on twitter. And yeah, its pretty hard to understand what she want to say without have been on all this shit for weeks. I looked for thousand of video avout modern femism this month. I read about 1 or 2 Harry Potter of studies and stalk some feminist twitter and Tumblr. So all is clear for me. Plus, can you develop the part when you say that some people say that it's the victim fault. (Not the women fault because there is a fair amount of men that have been raped. And if you think that when you're drunk and "unable to consent" is rape, so its a 50/50 amount of rape...)
Female Empowerment hmm there is no evidence that you present in this comment. You can have your opinions, but your opinions are not facts and what you say in this comment is a bit too misleading.
hello. The report rate of rape is around 4% in Japan (where I live). The data are from the government survey conducted every 3 yrs. The link to the site that provides results of the surverys in pdf files is here. www.gender.go.jp/policy/no_violence/e-vaw/chousa/h11_top.html I'm afraid they are in Japanese but it's the one I know of off the top of my head.
Female Empowerment Believe me rape is taken seriously. I believe we should always have in mind the one with carges of rape is innocent till Its proven the other way around.Nowadays Its scary to feel some woman will say you are a sexual assaulter for any reason, they are normalizing rape and actually harming people who actually get raped.
Dr. Sommers, great video, this message should serve as an important and badly-needed counter-balance to the rape culture hysteria; alas, I wanted to post & share this video far and wide but I feel like I can rather confidently predict that the people who need to hear it the most will take issue with the claim that the 1-in-5 statistic is wrong/inflated. I, for one, don't doubt it; but I would love to see a video that substantiates that point more and really drives it home!
Trying to solve a sexual assault crime without professionals is the problem and one that started because colleges didn't want things to be reported and to look bad. Call police, let them deal with it. Actual rape culture does exist. Its what caused the "hands off" behavior for the girl at Steubenville, when she was being carried around and worse, and it's what allows young men who happen to be in sports to have their friends make death threats against possible victims, but all this other bs is dangerous; it makes consent harder to confirm and quantify. I didn't like this video because it focused too much on this off-topic event. We need to stay on-topic and get into the nuts and bolts of what is correct and incorrect about the rape culture claims.
This woman is an absolute genius and deserves all of my respect. And you wanna know why? Because she talks about the truth and is an honest person. I dont care if you are a man or a woman, if you´re talking Bullshit I´m gonna be pissed. I dont care ifyou´re a man or a woman if you´re talking honest truth I´m gonna admire you. End of story.
Its really hard to change the way that people think, but I personally believe that with education and presenting this facts the people will see the real problems that we have to address in the word
Lady you are fantastic. And your words are medicine for a world and country that's in less-than-stellar health. Thank you. A college student myself, this problem deeply affects my potential life for the next few years. It is great when you've got a new pool of knowledge to draw from, and these videos certainly fulfill that for me. Maybe that will help, should I encounter a proponent of the idea of "rape culture."
when i was sexually assaulted, the men and women who protested against rape (the one's who "fostered" rape culture) actually helped me. because of them i feel stronger, supported and empowered. not everyone will agree and that's fine. however, people like this lady, who i believe are ignorant and minimise the seriousness of rape are the reasons why so many rape victims/surviours (men and women) struggle to report or come to terms with this terrible crime. if i had watched this 5 years ago (when i was sexually assaulted) my depression and anxiety would have fundamentally increased more so than it had. heck, even now watching this video i felt nothing guilt and shame and ill-memories, as if the assault was my fault. her victim blaming hurt me incredibly, i just hope no one else felt the same after watching this...
I never thought I'd see a feminist with a good head on her shoulders. You, ma'am, are awesome. Being a biology major, I do enjoy someone looking at actual facts rather than cherry picking whatever fits their worldview. I'm also in full support of gender equality and the issues always interest me.
Thank you so much for your coherent, intellectual ideas here on youtube. It is so wonderful to see a credible and intelligent person taking on these ideologies that are so prevalent in our world today.
Been following you on twitter. Gotta say you pretty much called this UVA hoax from the start (more or less) and when the truth was revealed, you just directed ppl to this video made months before. You are a heroine Dr. Sommers.
Paglia too, but one always has to take her with a grain of salt (like "I would stab her" if she were in a mans shoes and the girlfriend came to his house and then said "no, I don't want sex.") Whereas Cathy Young is as coolheaded as they come.
Hey Christina, did you see this month's issue of TIME? College rape is the front page article, touting the 1 in 5 stat, yet, oddly enough, acknowledges in the same article, that this is breeding hysteria and is a danger to young boys on university. I wonder if that latter part is a sign of the times.
"Rape culture is a concept of unknown origin and of uncertain definition; yet it has made its way into everyday vocabulary and is assumed to be commonly understood. The award-winning documentary film Rape Culture made by Margaret Lazarus in 1975 takes credit for first defining the concept." Blackwell Encyclopaedia Of Sociology, 2007, Page 3791 - goo.gl/9sEkWi Why is it that in academic institutions so few acadermic feminists of all grades from freeshman to proffesor fail to know even of the basic texts on a subject they lecture so many about?
Many thanks to Ms. Hoff Sommers for bringing reason and credible statistics to an inflamed debate. I hope she adds into her videos one that discusses the recent studies showing that the prevalence of sexual assault on campus is significantly less than it is off campus for women of comparable age. Spreading that information is our best hope of combatting rape crisis feminism and its depredations against due process through the like of affirmative consent laws.
Thank you for your thoughts and effort. Being in my mid twenties, I recently was in High School and a teenager. I feel that the biggest enemy is the media when it comes to the over-obsession with sex that is happening. I don't think it is 100% built in us to care so much about sexuality. That being said, I place much blame on the tropes used in children's programming: popularity, attractiveness, puppy love, awkwardness and now more sexual acts. The term pretty should be transformed to not mean anything good. Not bad either. For example, saying "you have pretty eyes" should be the same as "you have hazel eyes." Much less of a stress should be to be cool or sexual, and those ideas should be absolutely removed from the concept of fitting in. Do you know how fucked up id be if i actually got laid in high school?
I just don't get it why you keep referring to yourself as a feminist? This is the same poisonous umbrella word that advocates laws you seem very much against. Back in the 70's, an "old pervert" was not considered a big deal at all. It just brought chuckles to most people, but can you imagine the reaction for the same word today?
For decades now, all these news organizations care about is getting eyeballs on the screen, *NOT* to see the news, but to see their sponsor's commercials. *THAT* is all they've ever cared about. And in today's 24-hour news cycle, with multitudes of 24-hour news channels (even local ones) the rush to get the viewers watching THEIR show and not their competitor's makes the problem so much worse.
The big problem is see with the "rape culture" view point is that assumes that people won't do something they know to be wrong unless society convinces them otherwise. There are lots of people that do things they know to be wrong. Criminals do exist.
My only comment about how to stop the hysteria is to keep doing what you are doing which is tell the truth. Eventually, the truth will set all of us free.
Until proven false accusation carries a mandatory sentence, false accusation is a cheap weapon. Similarly, innocent until proven guilty in a court of law is a CIVIL RIGHT.
Was just watching a show about ghosts and forgot I had this video opened. Pressed space to wake up computer and this turned on. Scared the shit out of me lol.
If a crime occurs, then the police need to be involved. I think the biggest problem is that the colleges are judge, jury and expeller. That, and of course the vague definition of what constitutes sexual assault, including consensual drunk hook ups.
A kangaroo court run by legally unqualified feminists for one of the most serious crimes there is. It's madness and that's what the media should be focusing on.
I honestly feel that the first step to fixing this issue is for universities to come together and take a stand against these ridiculous policies that demands universities to take an active part in what is ultimately a criminal matter that should be handled by law enforcement. Universities are so afraid of having their funding pulled that they bend over backwards for any feminist rhetoric. The safe spaces alone blow my mind. I spent 8 years in the U.S. Marine Corps in a field that had more women than the average and they did just fine without "Safe Spaces" in an environment that was by in large male. Rather than teaching people that their feelings are valid, we should be teaching people to have thicker skin so they don't overreact and label someone trying to kiss them, who is probably just a young kid reading the signals wrong like we all have, as assault.
Can you provide some concise talking points about this issue? I think the first step is for everyday people to engage in open and honest discussion about the topic when it comes up in conversation. I think there are two big challenges to overcome in an emotionally charged discussion like this. One is to assure others that your intent is the betterment of society and increased safety for everyone regardless of their group (gender, race, etc.). The second is to convince them that certain sources, probably ones that they trust, are providing them with misinformation, even if they are well-meaning.
I was raped when I was about to start kindergarten. I support feminism but the rape culture hysteria hurts victims like me by making it seem like what happened to us was normal and will probably happen again. I used to be scared to leave the house.
I recently got into a huge argument with a former friend of mine who recently became a radical feminist over an article that had just been released. This is the article. (www.salon.com/2014/08/21/college_dudes_worried_that_movement_to_take_rape_seriously_is_ruining_their_sex_lives/) I spoke how the article was biased and served no purpose but to make women afraid of men and men afraid of women. I said how women and men need to work together to fix the real problems of rape and telling women that rape is so common place that it has it's own culture isn't the way. Needless to say she saw differently and after long bouts of me speaking respectfully and her just being rude and ignorant I decided I didn't need her as a friend. It makes me smile to see someone who identifies as a feminist who knows that we need the right information and just making fear is making a different type of sexism.
Well as someone who is studying to be an engineer, I can safely say this, if you do not have 100% of all factors going into a study and are used and categorized properly, it isn't a conducive study! Meaning, that if not every student were to give their input into that "1 in 5" survey, then it should be, in scientific terms, become invalid. I'm not saying to ignore anyone who says they have been assaulted, but before declaring any survey or research document as fact, make sure it has the proper numbers to back up its findings.
I'm just glad online colleges were a thing in time for me. Honestly, I'd be a little afraid to go to college in a city. I'm still a little worried about transferring to on-campus class rooms this coming semester. What? Did you think I was a woman for a second? No, no. I'm afraid to attend because I'm a male. I'm not just a male, I'm wide and tall with a scary face. I don't like that it's the case, but it is. I just am naturally scary looking and it doesn't match my nature at all. However, because I look scary looking, I'm afraid to ever enter in a situation where I could be labelled as a criminal because it'd be a surefire conviction. A woman claims I raped her? How do I disprove that? I'm big. I'm bulky. I'm scary. She doesn't have to prove anything. She could still be a virgin, same as me, and there's a likelihood I'll be found guilty. What if someone were to assault me and claim that I started it and they acted in self defense? I'd have to find away to defend myself and keep from hurting them at the same time so that it couldn't possibly even look like I started anything. It's paranoia, but our society's giving my paranoia more and more standing. So, I'll have to make sure I stay in sight of cameras for as long as I can and make sure I do whatever I can to offset my appearance.
Main issue is that these accused sex crimes provide an environment where emotion trumps due process. Attempting to bring common sense and due process into the equation instantly gets you labeled as an apologist, which is ludicrous. We have completely forgotten to remember that we weren't present and cannot pass judgement on hearsay.
Suggestion: Continue to the PR push. Objective being to educate parents on how unsafe college campuses are for their boys. Get universities to sign up as "hysteria free zones" that promise to protect the rights of male students. Encourage parents of boys to send them to colleges that make this promise. In other words, starve the feminists of their latest meal ticket.
Consenting sex is to rape the same as yes is to no. There are no blurred lines, no = rape, yes = consented sex. Yes I am over simplifying things according to many people but to those of us who care it is that simple. Now I will spend some time pointing fingers and explaining why I think as I do. I am a home educator and remember my wife showing me a thread started by a mother who had an older son and younger daughter. She realised after giving her daughter a talk on how to avoid being raped that she had never talked to her son about avoiding committing it. As parents none of us like to think our wonderful baby boys could grow up and commit such an act but the reality is every man who does this was someone's baby once. My son has just started puberty so at the moment the idea of girls is still a bit repulsive, we have had serious discussions of what will happen during puberty and in a few years when he starts showing interest there will be conversations about sex and among them one about the impact of rape and ways to avoid committing it. This is parental responsibility, by then my son will be at a school but I will not be expecting them to cover it to remove my responsibility. It will be a horrible conversation, both of us will hate it, but I would rather do something I hate than find out he has done something like this, knowing I did nothing to avoid it. When to listen to 'no.' whenever it is said. There are too many reasons that control is required not to stop when told. this could be something as innocent as your partner needing the toilet to them realising this is a mistake, no matter how trivial there is never a time when 'too late' should overrule 'no' and yes I have lived by this. I have had numerous occasions when I wasn't sure the other person was totally into the situation, when this has happened I have asked, most of the time the answer has been yes. The comparatively few occasions that the answer has been no have usually been followed by an apology and a polite exit by me when they have been embarrassed by the situation. Everyone makes mistakes and what seems like a good idea in a party environment can suddenly seem less so when it come time, man up and deal with it. Ironically the fact I was so open to being told no when women were unsure meant I got a reputation for showing respect, which along with other things got me more sex, trustworthiness is an appealing trait. Crying wolf. I would say that any woman crying rape when not victim to it should be locked up. This has happened in the UK when a women on stand confessed to lying about the rape charge and was sentenced to 3 months for contempt of court. One of the best judgements for women who have been genuinely raped I have seen so far. Unfortunately this was still less than the time than the man had spent in prison awaiting trial and would not undo the damage to his life but something had to be done and I'm glad the judge did it. If you are a woman who has accused someone of sexual assault or rape without grounds you are amongst the worst scum on this earth, not quite as bad as a rapist but one of the reasons that many get away with it. I would never wish anyone to be raped or assaulted in anyway let alone sexually but it would be worth anyone considering crying wolf to remember the ending of the story so knowing that if they do this then get raped it will be the actions of people like them that make it so hard for rape victims to get any type of justice. The numbers. I am not going to quote researched statistics here, there are plenty of them and if you need to be kept awake at night I would say they are better than caffeine. I spent a lot of my youth being absurdly promiscuous, safely, but generally a disposable object used by many. My lifestyle and the fact I was rarely in one place for long meant this was not only easy but almost expected. For those considering this a boast, my average volume of sex was less then than it is now I am married, so trust me it isn't. Of the women I have known the volume I have encountered who have been raped and not reported the fact is mind-blowing. There will be some assuming this is purely because the sort of people who would be wanting to pick someone up for a one night stand would be 'asking for it' but in many cases rape was their first sexual experience and that is a horrible thing to learn. When you are someone considered very disposable you also become a convenient counsellor too, after all you'll be gone in the morning and likely never seen again so there's no risk. As such I have been privy to some tales of woe that have made me sick and almost ashamed to be male on many occasions. Conclusions The first is something I hate. There will never be a day when we cure our species of the desire to rape 100%. There will always be someone who for whatever reason feels they should be able to take sex by force or even prefers to do so. Having said this there are things I think we can do to minimise the occurrences. Education. Predominantly from parents, ideally reinforced by peers, schools, etc. to ensure the act of rape is considered undesirable and recognised publicly as unacceptable instead of barely uttered and kept as something to figure out for ourselves. Understand all sides. There are things both sides can do to avoid rape, I am not talking about women needing to wear potato sacks from head to toe, neither side considering the concept that they might want to have sex and letting the other know if they are a bit uncertain. I mean realising that desires can change and being prepared for this, be open with each other, so if there is uncertainty on one side the other can have a cold shower running. Understanding the value of honesty. If someone has hurt you emotionally or you simply get carried away in a conversation and accuse someone of something they didn't do, admit it immediately. Every person who accuses falsely makes it harder for genuine victims, and the next one could be you. As the lady says panic is not the answer. Presumed guilty is a very human style of thinking and it is too often wrong. As someone who considers sexual abuse of any kind to be the very worst of crimes I still say that due process has to be the way. There will be people wrongfully convicted, and others who get away with it, there is no solution that will avoid this. Like it or not, for most it's not, there isn't a perfect solution but mob rule has to be the furthest from it. Finally. Sorry this has become a major rant. If anyone gets this far thank you for your patience.
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Let's make the Factual Feminist the leader of feminism. That way REAL issues can be discussed and presented in a way that doesn't involve rhetorical screaming or spitting on men.
+The Abominable Snowman she pretty much is man, its actual feminism based on education and understanding. but the internet stands in the way of others understanding things. You wouldn't call alex jones the leader of politics.. But the word Feminist has been high jacked by social justice warriors who just had their first sociology lecture at college.
"It's a shame that you silence others"
"WE WILL NOT BE SILENCED"
lol wtf.
+PonzooonTheGreat what the fuck
I always knew they hear what they want to hear, but never expected to find such an obvious piece of evidence for this.
PonzooonTheGreat can you say hypocrisy
Regret is not rape! And If I get drunk and sleep with some random drunk guy, If I say he raped me because I was drunk, then that same goes as I raped him because he was drunk too? I've been saying the same things that were said in this video. Rape is a problem, but calling someone looking at you sexually, or bumping into you in a crowd rape is making actual rape look not as bad, and the poor women, and men who deal with actual rape are being lost amongst this lynch mob of idiots screaming "I've been raped too!!" It doesn't happen to everyone, so normalizing it is not fighting the issue. I'm sorry I am losing my temper this subject makes me very upset.
u r very logical
What if the man was not drunk?
Quinn Fletcher Well he shouldn't take advantage but it's technically not rape or his fault because she consented, and what if he didn't know she was drunk?
Oh thank god there are still women who use logic and understanding. Who see real issues for what they are and also take responsibility for their actions. You are amazing.
Don't forget about the NON-VERBAL cues. If I had a penny everytime a girl claimed she was raped because the guy didn't pay attention to her non-verbal cues while she was having sex with him, I'd be rich.
Been watching these videos for like an hour straight, this woman knocks it out of the park every time.
liberandon got so much respect for her
+liberandon same for me, i can't get enough of her
I know! Shes amazing.
Christina Hoff Sommers does an awesome job because she gets facts from all sources and scrutinizes the studies.
+liberandon Haha, same here man. If all (or hell, even just a quarter) of modern feminists were like her, I'd be all about getting behind their cause.
Trigger warnings on books? Those are universities. Students are supposed to be grown ups...
Guess what: If you really have such issues you can simply ask your fellow students or your professor/teacher to give you a brief synopsis or google that stuff on the internet.
There are two ways this proposal can turn out: You either print really vague stuff like "sexual content" which doesn't protect anyone from any stressor because it is not specific.
Or you write: "Contains horrifiying scenes of rape and sexual violence." Of course it will be the usual suspects who define such terms and will soon label media as "sexist" or "racist". After a while students who read books labelled as "misogynistic" or "containing racist language" could be dissuaded to read them at all because they do not want to appear to condone anything racist or sexist. In the end you have especially people who would most profit from reading not reading books because of peer pressure.
Or you have professors or students who can get bullied using the tactics of simply labelling their papers and books as "sexist" etc. (Which is already a common tactic to silence people. Ask the psychometricians community or ask Sandra Harding, who labelled Newton's Principia a "rape manual".)
PTSD is also something that you can't treat through avoidance. You will be triggered constantly because escpecially heavy violence and sexual violence are pretty prevalent in our media.
I didn't speak out against consideration and for taking pain lightly. But in my view this is an approach to silence dissenting voices and ways of expression in the name of political correctness which is far too high a price to please a tiny minority of oversensitive zealots who do not even have the illnesses they mention. I would not be "oppressed" by warning people but I would be oppressed if someone who doesn't like me labels my work or the works I reference in a derogatory way. That you can't see that even after listening to the video is disappointing.
"Supposed to be grown ups..."
Then you're a RAAAAPE APOLOGIIIIST
It's because those people use them as a shield. I don't live in the United States but in Germany and I have never, ever seen a homosexual person or an ethnic person speak out and a university. All the talk about racism and sexism, that is almost always in the form of accusation is done by white, middle class, heterosexual students who use the imagined plight of minorities in order to gain points with the social justice crowd. They don't care for justice, they don't care for values. They do this because they can instill guilt in other people and exploit the hell out of it. They are manipulators and they have to be stopped.
A feminist that thinks that a, "Foolish drunken hookup" isn't rape. I love her.
how is it if the guy was drunk how is that any different
Getting a girl drunk + having "sex" with her = rape
Mirra Hays no
But that is not what we are talking about. If both are drunk it is NOT rape. But somehow modern "feminists" will still claim that it is, because the man is always at fault somehow. Regretting an act that you willingly partook in is not the same as being forced to do it.
Mirra Hays I'm trying to understand what you mean but except you roofie someone,how do you make them drink more than they are supposed to
"We will not be silenced" says the angry mob. "Now shut up speaker."
When I was 14 I falsely accused someone of rape because of this ideology. Thank god it wasn't to authorities and I immediately came to my senses and straightened it out. But still, I will never forgive myself for it.
At least you came to your senses and got it stopped, a lot of people wouldn't.
You need to publisize this more. Tell the world what you were manipulated into doing. Feminism manipulated you into becoming a manipulator too. Its a poison ideology. Spread the word. Then you will find peace within yourself. Think of the lives you can save if you draw attention to false accusations, and the real reason why they happen... feminism.
Danny B But to this day I'm still so ashamed of what I did, I don't think I could ever bring myself to talk about it publicly
Shinisou Thats a shame. Hopefully one day you'll feel no shame. I don't hold it against you. Good people 'wake up.'' They smell the shit of third wave feminism and some have the courage to do something about it. I personally knew two girls who made false rape claims. It happens all the time these days. Men's Right's activists have known this stuff for a long time, the trouble is that nobody will stand up and say 'I made a false rape claim.' So its not like MRAs have any way to publisize it legitimately. I don't know what country you're in, but if you ever change your mind, contact someone called Karen Straughn. I'm sure she'd be interested in getting your story out there. It could be the single most important story to the MRA movement.
That is fascinating. I'm curious, what specifically motivated you? What happened when you straightened it out?
The splash made by that sexual assault scandal is still rippling today. I don't know how involved 'feminism' was in that, but it's damn near impossible for me to get a babysitting gig. Doesn't matter how many glowing references I have from various summer camps I've worked at, the babysitting or first aid courses I've taken, the background checks I've gotten, or the fact that the kids I have watched in the past (mostly younger cousins) invariably adore me. Doesn't matter that the parents I've spoken with after the fact are stunned at how positive an influence I am on their kids because I encourage reading, creative and imaginative play, physical activity and an interest in the natural world. As soon as they find out I'm male, they assume I'm a poor caretaker at best or a molester at worst, because how on Earth could a young man be good with kids? I have been told to my face on multiple occasions that they won't take me because I'm a guy. It's very annoying and really cuts into that extra pocket money I could be getting, never mind the blatant and overt sexism.
The Nymanator
Just goes to show that they are sexists who intentionally segregate genders.
+The Nymanator
As someone who is horrible with kids & would never consider childcare as a profession, be it part time or full time...that's something I never thought about. & it's kinda fucked up on their parts. & it's also perpetuating the antiquated notion that only women are fit to raise & care for children.
There is a victim mentality creating unnecessary drama and stereotypes and unfortunately a real people sometimes have to suffer from it, you're the case, but fortunately this is one of the better case in which it showed off
In Australia it's becoming a law that any man accused of rape is assumed guilty until proven innocent, I can't believe anyone listens to these ludicrous statements and acts on them too.
Step One: When a woman is discovered to have KNOWINGLY and VICIOUSLY falsely accused a man of rape, then she needs to be dealt with as seriously as genuine rapists. Why? Because she has now DESTROYED this man's life. He's going to have to utterly change his identity if he's to have any chance of living a normal life. She has essentially RAPED him in a sense. Yet these women are heralded as heroes to the cause and if they are punished, it's with a slap on the wrist. The girl who is carrying around her mattress knows she falsely accused that man of rape and yet is continuing with the charade for attention. She needs to be punished for her actions. When false accusers start facing harsher punishments for their lies then genuine victims of rape will have a safe place to go with their claims because they will be taken seriously. A man who has had his life ruined by such a woman should have legal recourse to charge her with defamation of character.
+Ceara Ivory And after Mattress girl graduated she decided to do a sex tape showing the world what date rape looked like. You won't find it on TH-cam because it's XXX or too pornographic. How many rape victims would want to do that? It absolutely hurt her credibility. It's like she loves attention.
And she does. That's the whole point in her charade. Attention.
+Arofed I agree that false rape is HORRIBLE. But please don't equate that to rape - a foreign object entering your body, being tortured and mutilated, unable to stop it because there are too many men holding you down. Yes it is absolutely horrible and there should be consequences for going to those lengths. As a survivor advocate, I take great offense when I come across someone who has been proven to have falsely accused someone of raping him/her. I'm very committed to not minimizing the experience of someone who has gone through this, but it is not the same as rape.
We aren't minimizing it Kristen. But a man who has been falsely accused will be tortured and mutilated at least emotionally by those around him. He will likely lose his job and his livelihood. He will lose everything even if he is found innocent and the woman who accused him will get off because the law will be too afraid that real victims will be too afraid to come forward. False rape accusers are as bad as rapists not just for that alone, but THEY marginalize and minimize what you went through. They don't CARE what you went through at all.
As a woman who has at different times been raped, falsely accused of rape and also asked which one she would prefer (while being held down and threatened with one if she did not accept the other)... I can tell you that the experience of dealing with a false allegation and the fallout afterwards was similar, and in some ways worse/more isolating than rape. I don't think we are going anywhere with this problem while we compete over who has it worst. We don't currently have a way forward, but I know it won't be that.
More real feminist need to start making videos
She's not a shrieking banshee who think's every man isn't trying to rape her nor does she hate herself for being white. She had no place among the modern 3rd wave feminists.
Excellent video. The statistic that 1 in 5 campus students have been sexually assaulted came from a questionnaire that ask "have you ever had sex when you didn't want to?"
If the student answered yes, this was classed by the feminist interviewers to be a 'sexual assault' and has hence resulted in massively skewed statistics on the matter
***** www.washingtonpost.com/opinions/cdc-study-on-sexual-violence-in-the-us-overstates-the-problem/2012/01/25/gIQAHRKPWQ_story.html Is it this one?
So UNWANTED sexual contact? That doesn't necessarily sound like rape, but more to the point did the unwanted contact lead to more bad behavior? Of course women get touched, but it's one thing if the women are with someone they are talking, making eyes with, holding hands with, flirting with, kissing. As opposed to someone who just walked up on the street, and groped them.
Especially unexperienced young men don't really know when they should make pass, or how sexual that pass should be. BUt even that, most men know when to take no for answer. Men aren't mind readers, and so being in an environment for the first time where alcohol is available freely, where there is a large potential number of sexual partners (for both genders) and in general there is a great deal more contact between the genders than there ever was before, of course men are going to get it wrong a lot. So long as that doesn't lead a woman being assaulted or raped, or molested, or whatever escalation you want to put there, then it's really quite harmless.
I think that's true. Katie Roiphe's quote "to find wanted sexual attention you have to give and receive a certain amount of unwanted sexual attention" is right, or at least you have to risk it. If you manage to take those risks and always get it right you've had astoundingly good beginner's luck!!!
I think this is an area where men's voice just isn't heard. As the traditional instigator he has to take a risk; and once upon a time all he risked was rejection and embarassment - now he risks being labelled a creep, being accused of sexual harassment (there is a real thing that is sexual harassment. I know I've been on the receiving end of it. It is not someone showing you attention that you feel uncomfortable with; it is them knowing you feel uncomfortable and continuing to do it precisely because it gives them a feeling of power. It is not someone making a pass and the person on the receiving end simply feeling awkward - which is how I feel it's come to be used to mean), he can get a reputation as a pest, he can have some idiot doing a blog video about him like that poor guy who offered coffee to Rebecca Watson.
The stakes are too high, and guys feel scared - women don't understand that, they think "I'm dropping hints why isn't he making a move?", because we can't risk being wrong! Ironically the guys who wind up as wallflowers because they're trying to avoid being labelled as creeps, when they talk of their loneliness or frustration they get told they have a sense of entitlement! They do NOT have a sense of entitlement - they don't even feel entitled to express their feelings! Because feminists exclusively only give value to the female voice they think "well we don't want guys we don't like hitting on us" but they've never been put into the risk taking role.
Now, I've been hit on by someone I wasn't interested in. A few times; most of them gay men (two women - one who was deeply unattractive, and one who was drunk, married and quite vulgar, but... otherwise I was a little tempted - if I'd been a bit more desperate that week... er... got sidetracked.). It is awkward; and some of my responses have been no better than women's to be honest. I've made my excuses and fled (that was the second time a gay guy made a pass. The first time I innocently thought the guy had made a mistake - "I'm not a girl; you know that don't you?" I said... he wasn't obviously gay you see - just obviously a bit drunk), I've taken the phone number anyway and thrown it away, I've been plain rude. I think as I get older I get better. A guy put his hand on my knee in a pub when I was in my thirties; I moved it away and said "sorry, that ain't happening". I never hated on any of them. It made me a bit more forgiving of the stuff some girl's do because I get why they do it. But it's made me very intolerant of their shaming and complaining and dubbing people "creeps". FFS! He was a human being, he took a risk. Who actually is acting entitled now?!
Can I add though; I know when gay guys risk making an unwanted pass or unwanted proposition they risk having the crap beaten out of them. I have checked my privilege in that regard at least. :-) I do not envy them that aspect; but in safe environments like gay clubs they will at least know that the other guy (if he is gay) is going to at least understand because he has to take those self-same risks himself.
Unwanted sexual attention, as Mrmessage points out, doesn't mean rape, it means any form of unwanted sexual contact, like someone trying to kiss you or someone making a pass, or during a kiss the hand that goes somewhere new where you're not ready to be touched just yet. There is always the possibility of a rejection long before you get anywhere near actual sex. Your response I think is a knee-jerk one based on fear - let me put it this way - no one normal wants to have sex with someone who doesn't want to have sex with them - there is nothing rewarding or beneficial in that. Get this into your head - no one normal wants to rape anyone.
Secondly - do you think rape is accidental, or can be accidental? Because I'm inclined to think it can't be; for that reason - there are plenty of possibilities for rejection all the way up to the act itself, so that by the time you get anywhere near there communication will have been exchanged about the willingness of both participants.
Put those two facts together and you will realise that your fear is pretty ungrounded. The risks that are taken are taken in the hope that the desire is reciprocated; at any stage you can demonstrate the lack of reciprocation and unless that person is a sociopath that will be enough to put them off.
How do you deal with someone you are not interested in making a pass at you. Do you tell them "sorry, I think you've made a mistake" and firmly make your lack of interest clear or do you shame them and accuse them of sexual harassment? (and as I stated above; there is a real thing that is harassment and there are things that have been labelled as harassment that are merely flirting, including even innuendo or inviting someone to your room for coffee).
What if someone you are interested in makes the same pass? What if someone you are interested in won't make a pass because he's fearful he's going to have the same reaction you'd give the guy you weren't interested in? Think about that. How much do you want to deter the guy you're interested in? Because when you treat the people you're not interested in as scum for trying you're sending the message to all guys not to try that, and that means the guy you want to try that won't try that either. Does that make sense?
That was all Roiphe was saying.
wow a feminist i dont completely disagree with? wtf?
lol yep, it's because she's an actual Feminist.
If a drunk woman hooks up with a drunk guy what's stopping her from being a rapist?
Under most countries laws to rape someone requires you to penetrate them. You could be charged with sexual assault though.
I don't know about US law but here a woman could drug, tie up and sodomize a man with a strap-on and would still not be a rapist as the law specifies rape as penetration by penis. Yep it's legally impossible for a woman to rape.
It would still be a "Serious Sexual Assault" though.
Guys can not want sex and still have erections, so penetration is not out. Bodily function doesn't always correlate with what you want. As for Sodomy it's legally called something different, but the charges and penalties are the same.
In fact I would say being raped for guys is horrifying because their bodies tend to do something they do not want it to do. I would assume this happens to some women as well but I've only heard that mention in male testimonials, but since some women question whether or not they wanted it afterwards I would assume a similar response happened to them. It's really sad.
I have done a little research since my post.
From UK government website defining rape:
"Section 1 provides that it is an offence for a person (A) to penetrate
with his penis the vagina, anus or mouth of another person (B), either
intentionally or recklessly, without that person's consent, and without
any reasonable belief that B consents."
By definition in order to rape (under UK law) one must have a penis and use it to penetrate (it does later say the law does include a penis attached during gender reassignment),
By UK law if a woman forces sex on a man she can be charged with sexual assault, it's not rape because she didn't penetrate him with a penis... considering the two charges carry the same maximum penalty I'm just being pedantic here really.
That said I do agree with your original post's sentiment, it's infuriating that two people can get drunk and have sex but it's only ever the man being accused of taking advantage.
Ah sorry the sodomy being the same punishment as rape is USA or at least Utah. It came up in women's self defense.
My girlfriend opened up to me recently after over a year together about how her mum got her to falsely accuse a young boy of sexual touching when she was in primary school because she thought that she was being touched in school and refused her objections until she finally gave in and pointed at an innocent boy in her class.
To this day she warns her about rape from every male influence in her life from her brother, to uncles, her sisters husband etc as if any man given the chance is just waiting for an opportunity to rape a woman. Needless to say this has affected her greatly one example of this is that she felt it did not allow her to have a close relationship with her older brother because he was forced to avoid her after her mum accused him of inappropriately touching her when they were approximately 16 and 12 respectively, again despite her protestation that nothing of the sort had ever happened.
As a result she is envious of the relationship I have with my sister and wishes she could have had the same. I am at university and I sometimes get random calls from my sister just wanting to tell me about her day or ask about mine. My sister and I would never have been able to be close if I felt that I would be accused of something if I took an interest in her life. In fact my parents have asked me in the past to talk to my sister after she started acting weirdly because she finds it easier to talk to me. This proved important when she was getting bullied at school and could not open up to my parents about it no matter how much they asked.
This not only goes to show the problems with making women live in constant fear of abuse from their male counterparts, but also the benefits of advocating for healthy relationships between males and females in all settings in society. This does not even address the damage done to the boy in question who was reprimanded for an act he never committed.
Mrs. Hoff Sommers, I do appreciate and admire your wonderful work.
"rape culture panic" may not be the answer, but it would make an awesome band-name/song-title.
Did you know that Rape Culture mostly exists in prison?
I tried to share this with my sister when we got into an argument about Donald Trump's remarks, she just batted it away and called me a sexist.
Gotta love that mob mentality
I once had a friend who thought it was hilarious to randomly scream rape whenever we would play in her pool...I always tried to insist to her that she shouldn't do that because it is an actual serious matter and I would also like to not have my face pounded in by her 6' 3" overprotective father.
+Crabmaster Holy crap, I full on feel sorry for you, that sounds scary.
That’s terrible to do to you and very disrespectful to women and girls who are actually terrified to say they were raped. I used to hate it when kids would do that.
The solution is easy, delete tumblr.
roflmao!
Or better yet, make different plate forms similar to Tumblr then have each plate form battle each other. It rids a problem and gives a show.
This woman needs to preach on campuses.
+turity She does, but she gets boycotted by the radical feminists and SJWs.
+wReckLesss They get triggered by the thought that rapists rape because they are sociopaths, not because they are male.
+bike4aday That is an excellent point!
But don't put down all feminists for a few bad apples that make the rest of us look bad.
I recently spoke at a conference and one of the male members of the audience came up and spoke with me about how men are being vilified and left out of the anti-rape movement because of the numbers. I completely agree with both of you. Yes, the numbers show that a majority of rapists are in fact white heterosexual men, BUT there are not very many white heterosexual men who rape. Just like you say, we need to remember that the men who rape are the sociopaths. Hopefully men will become allies in the anti-sexual violence movement, not just to defend your reputations, but because violence happens to men too.
+Kristen Tebow It baffles me that not all feminists think like you. Or Christina, for that matter. I respect you for trying to defend feminism and to a certain extent, I do think there are some people keeping "actual feminism" alive. But I think people should focus more on the equal rights of everyone instead of just women.
"Feminism" is very heavily weighed towards the favor of women, and it should not be that way. I'm not even talking about men in particular, I'm talking about equality worldwide for every race, sex, faith, sexuality, etc. That's the fight that should be fought. Not manspreading or gamergate or MRA's or whatever the hell. Feminists these days (Not saying you are) are so confrontational and divisive, it needs to stop.
Exactly. The two genders are so equal in opportunity that we need to stop separating genders and get down to the real problems.
Like, let's stop harassment, for everyone. Some studies show that harassment happens more towards women than men, but it's bad to do it against men too, so why not stop both? Let's get more law enforcement. Let's make the justice system more efficient so that all victims can have their offenders brought to justice sooner, including rape victims. Like, why are we setting priorities based on the gender which is the majority of victims? I mean, 60% of violent crimes are men against other men. Yet, no Feminists gives a shit because 65% of harassment is towards women. Why does it even matter? Let's stop ALL crime. Separating every situation by gender is just rendering one gender not a victim, which is stupid.
I have been waiting for years for someone in the MRM (or at least someone advocating TRUE gender equality) to bring up the McMartin case, and it's parallels with modern day feminism.
Thank you.
Angry Harry did so years ago. That and all the satanic rituals crap.
Dave.
If I were kicked out of college for a "supposed" sexual assault, I would file a class action lawsuit against the school.
do it.
thanks for the history lesson no one will teach and the new helpful term "conspiracy feminist". You are the hero we need
It's sad that this goes beyond just college campus. Even in the real world, this is still a problem. Guilty until proven innocent. Even if found not guilty in a court of law, the life of the accused will be ruined forever.
I am a man, and I have never been more afraid.
I have to disagree with your implied assertion that "A foolish drunken hookup" cannot be a felony rape. If someone is intoxicated to the point where their ability to consent to sexual intercourse is impaired, then it does enter the realm of felony rape. We already live in a society where too much disinformation about rape is spread around.
So if both of the parties are drunk did they rape each other? What if the drunk woman is the sexual aggressor in the situation, is it then the man's responsibility to endure and deter her advances?
Leave it to the courts you dumb cow and find something worthwhile to do with your time.
a sober lady cornering and getting knocked up by a drunk rich kid or senior about to graduate to a 100,000 dollar job. Why isn't that considered part of "Rape Culture"? Poor lady gets a cute little baby and a rich husband for the next 20 or at least a cute baby and a paycheck. As a fine specimen, I'm very wary of being the target of such a scam. I almost don't want to study hard so I'm not on the radar of one of these creeps who can't help them selves, as I know that when I've had a few I'm a creep who couldn't help but play along. Mean submitting to the affections of a beautiful woman.
razorlikeblue
Well, for starters, it's not "Drunk" but "So impaired that you can't give consent." So, more accurately probably blackout drunk.
If both parties were that drunk, then yes, they did rape each other. It would be up to the prosecutor to determine how to proceed.
EDIT: I was incorrect about this above statement. I forgot that typically there is a rule regarding that you must be aware or should have been aware of the other party's intoxication. Obviously if both parties are too drunk to consent, then neither can be expected to be aware of the other party's inebriation. My intent was to draw a parallel to mutual child rape (Where two underage minors have consensual sex without a Romeo and Juliet Law in place) to show the technical operation, but I fucked it up. My bad. I am not going to remove the statement because I feel it's dishonest to cover up your fuck ups.
If the incapacitated drunk woman was the sexual aggressor, then yes you have a responsibility to at least not have sex with her. The same would apply if the genders were reversed.
Elamdri did you read this before you posted it? it would have been considerate if you had.
I'd have no problem identifying myself as a feminist if all self-proclaimed feminists were like Factual Feminist. :-/
Why can't all feminist be like her?
they're just horrible people and just using feminism
I believe everything you said
1. Issue is addressed
2. Why you disagree
3. Supported evidence
4. Open for feedback
Today's rape culture panic in society today is like.....Admiral Satie aboard the Enterprise (please, someone get that reference)!
Drumhead is among the top 5 best TNG episodes imo.
*"Ooooh yes, but the road from legitimate suspicion to rampant paranoia is very much shorter than we think. Something is wrong here Mr Worf. I do not like what we've become!"*
You know what's sad? I didn't even have to look that up and i'm pretty sure that it's verbatim too. lol
"I WILL EXPOSE YOU!" - Admiral Satie.
I really hated that dress she wore. The one that looks like her head is coming out of a vagina.
kill3456 I loooooooove that quote so much.
Exquisite!
She should tell that to the guy that raped me in college. The rape I never reported because I'm in the south where rape is not really considered a crime because women ask for it.
Preach on, Based Mom!
Nice to see some of the comments here. Take a look at some of the stuff folks are writing under this video over at Rawstory.com - it's pretty despairing. We are definitely pretty deep in it again as far as the campuses go; don't know how far it's going to spread from there but if history is a teacher it's going to spread for sure. Every boy going off to school should lawyer up before he gets there; daycare workers should be video taping everything bearing in mind that even documented reality is no defense against these zealots of justice and love. Ms. Sommers, you ask what to do? I think you and Camille need to activate other feminist activists on campus; there 'must' be some kids out there who are horrified by this. What about their boyfriends? What about the men they care about? What about their love of literature and disgust for censorship in the name of "Trigger Warnings"? There must be 'some' who see this for what it is and are willing to speak out about it! That's all I can think of that can be effective; the rest of us are reduced to 'rape apologists' etc... (see Rawstory comments.) You know the media isn't going to present the other side of this horror until it's too late and then only reluctantly; in the daycare horror there was one, count em' 'one', writer who took these fanatics on through her column in the WA P; she was the one journalist who defended Kelly Michaels, one of the first victims of the New Age feminists who believed satanic cults were using kids in daycare centers for rituals; that journalists name was Dorothy Rabinowitz and her book "No Crueler Tyrannies" about that era is essential reading. Thanks for the video. I really hope this can be nipped in the bud but I've seen it before and I just don't think this train is stoppable once it's left the station unless some of it's more reluctant passengers realize they've been kidnapped and storm the engine.
Yeah great "The Great Gatsby" gets a trigger warning but when I complain about the adverts for a certain movie that has hate towards men in their video I got told by a bunch of women that it wasn't hate at all.
Which movie was that?
Before now I had written off all Feminists/Activists as insane.
You are a breath of fresh.
1. We need to accept that false rape accusations exist and are not negligible.
2. We need to acknowledge that rape cannot be stopped by "telling men that rape is bad" or other such strategies which aim to create a culture which condemns rape. We already have a culture which condemns rape. There are biological reasons that men rape - it gives the man a chance to spread his genes without making efforts to gain a woman's approval or spending resources on the offspring. The only risk is if he gets caught and other people punish him. In some instances, it is cost-effective for men to rape and therefore, it happens. For women, on the other hand, it is very costly to be raped - they have to carry a child for nine months (and take care of it for years, if they want it to survive) and they have not had a chance to evaluate the genes of the father. We reduce the problem of rape by acknowledging the real reasons that people rape and then reduce the circumstances which lead to rape. I.e. we shift the focus from "rape culture" to something more effective.
I agree with you, we also need to teach society as a whole that false allegations of such a serious crime are neither acceptable or productive to society as a whole. Least of all we need to educate society that such allegations should not be used as a means of revenge or spite. Anyone found guilty of deliberately trying to ruin someones life is committing a selfish act which is a crime, it is not something society should simply brush off when the allegation is proven false, sadly nobody seems to want to address this selfish often vindictive crime, yet the very same society is more than willing to punish people for deformation of character, does nobody see that falsely accusing someone of rape is the worst deformation of character anyone can commit?
do you have solution to that problem ?
writerconsidered The best place to start I would hazard a guess would be with education and public awareness. The biggest issue will be addressing the fallacious figures being touted by various groups. All of the most touted figures spawned from using the sorely inaccurate and inherently bias Duluth model of survey questionnaires. We need to do some independent and meaningful surveys to get to the real figures for both genders, which in turn will help the genuine victims of this most heinous crime.
1. Independent none gender bias survey's, audited and monitored by several independent peer groups.
2. Systematic removal of the false figures from all academic studies, media, and political arenas, they should then be replaced with the genuine figures.
3. Education on the subject of self responsibility, while I agree everyone has a right to express themselves. There are common sense actions everyone can take to prevent crime of any type. E.g. Everyone locks their homes and car doors, we don't preach "don't teach me how to secure my home/car, teach the thieves not to steel" we are as a species still immature therefore we must accept the inevitable fact there are criminals out there and that prevention measures can and do help.
4. We need to address the ideological hatred being taught under the guise of "gender/female studies" whilst the study of such things is in principle not sexist, we all know if a degree course named male studies was proposed it would be shut down before it could even begin for being gender bias (sexist).
If gender/female studies is to continue, then it needs to teach real history warts and all, not the false patriarchy model it is currently preaching as fact. The blatantly fictitious nonsense can all soon be revealed by scratching the surface to reveal the truth, it is currently being taught by ideologues in the hope of generating gender hatred to support their ideological/political beliefs, education should remain a none gender bias system, sadly that is not the case.
Peace
"There are biological reasons that men rape - it gives the man a chance to spread his genes without making efforts to gain a woman's approval or spending resources on the offspring."
While this account sounds plausible based on purely biological factors, human beings are far more than their reproductive biology. They are, for example, social beings and this is as firmly grounded in their biology as their sex. And so what appears to be a good strategy when considering only a narrow set of factors, can turn out to be a very bad strategy when considering all factors.
What do we know about most male rapists? Are they somehow more natural and instinctive than the normal run of men? Nope - they are usually highly damaged and dysfunctional individuals. Rape is not a natural function in human beings - it is an expression of dysfunction.
Biological reductionism and determinism is very dangerous. Firstly, we are not simple automata driven by our biology - we are complex social beings who while certainly being influenced by our biology in some respects and to some degree, also have cognition and significant scope to determine who we are for ourselves. This latter aspect of what it is to be human is just as real and substantive as every other aspect. Put another way: it is important not to forget that you have a highly complex organ between your ears as well as the relatively simple one between your legs. Secondly, and even more importantly, neither you, nor anyone else, can say you understand how human beings work based on some insight you may have into their biology. By the time you strip out the complexity which your model requires, you no longer have a human being and so, in effect, your model cannot teach us anything useful about them.
An important part of the thinking that informs the people who create and believe this rape culture bullshit is precisely the same kind of thinking that you indulge in. They too believe that men naturally want to rape women and so they must be trained out of this behaviour beginning at a young age and society must devise more effective ways of controlling and managing their bestial natures. If what you say is true then they are perfectly correct. Personally I don't want to be subjected to these controls, and I do not want my son to be subjected to reconditioning, which would be the rational social response given your theory. You are not a feminist by any chance are you because you certainly sound like one?
Or perhaps you simply want women to accept being raped because, after all, it is only the natural expression of the male biological imperative. Well, good luck with getting women to accept that proposal!
aporiac Ok, lots of misunderstandings. I am not a biological determinist - I know that a person's action is a result of a combination of nature and nurture. My point is to include the biological factors - not to only use the biological factors. It is true that feminists often believe in some male instinct to rape, but they know too little about this to come up with an effective solution.
I don't believe that rape is an expression of dysfunction - I believe that it is a natural urge which arise under CERTAIN circumstances. These circumstances are probably often the same circumstances which "dysfunctional" individuals are in. If you have a functional social sphere (which condemns rape), resources and genes that are attractive to women (and thereby have access to sex with women) and realize that being caught raping someone (either by your social sphere or the legal system) would pose greater disadvantages than the pleasure you get from raping - then, you probably won't rape.
But if you are at the bottom of society, no women want to have sex with you, you have bad self-control, you have no social group - then rape might be your only chance to spread your genes (and therefore the urge to rape might arise).
My solution to the problem is not to train men from an early age (that approach will certainly not do anything at all to prevent rape). What I propose, is that we investigate under which circumstances rape occurs and then minimize these circumstances. For instance, if lack of a social group is a risk factor, then we could start projects which help people who are lonely to find friends. If late nights and people walking home from clubs are risk factors, then we could have more night buses.
Rape exist in other species as well and I think that this is a pretty good indication that it is natural. However, that it is natural is no excuse and doesn't mean that it is any better. I'm currently reading "A Natural History of Rape: Biological Bases of Sexual Coercion", by Thornhill and Palmer. I recommend it to anyone interested in this topic. They also argue that taking biology into consideration is crucial to finding an effective way to decrease rape.
All of the comments below have convinced me that overdrinking should be a criminal offense.
I missed it. Where were the facts? I just heard her summarize some events with conclusions where no data to support them was referenced.
Karl H she is using a case study to connect it to the evergrowing fear of a "rape culture" in society
+Thanks Chill. As a scientist I would think she could have figured out a way to work that in there without getting too dry. Lord knows bibliographies have no place in most speeches:-)
Karl H so you criticize her for being boring ? Ok. You do you bro
She has separate videos going over statistics like the "1 in 5 women at colleges are sexually assaulted." Just look at some of her other sexual assault myth videos for something more concrete. It seems that sometimes she goes over the same topic many times, but doesn't include the same information in all her videos as that would make them too long. I agree though that this video, and some of her others, can be a bit lacking.
+Nicholas Beck: Thanks for the info.
Professor Sommers -- I want to thank you for what you're doing, and for all of your work. Only in the last few weeks, we can see how thin the veneer of charity and compassion toward men is in our society. What you have to say is absolutely essential for a sane and rational climate.
One very small performative critique: you have a tendency to let your speaking voice modulate, alternatingly high and low, forceful and soft. It can make the simple act of listening a challenge. A purely constructive-intended suggestion would be to make a conscious effort to speak slightly more forcefully. I'm not advocating a dull monotone. But I have to keep riding the volume or re-playing bits.
But much more important: please keep making more videos! I think we are downright starving for this kind of grown-up, measured, thoughtful analysis.
Thank you again!
Legalize prostitution. That's first.
Secondly, figure out what factors make people rape, and minimize those factors.
The Flying Spaghetti Monster Yes, because you always see 'sluts' being shunned by feminists... yeah. /s
BoardWheel you can't figure out what factors trigger it. It's a mental thing
It's great to see a real feminist. Your speach was very well put together. You had very good points for your argument and displayed them flawlessly. Great video.
Another good video by Christina Hoff-Summers.
+Dennis Chiang You have got to be the most patient person and one of the best debaters I have ever seen on TH-cam. You explain your point of view beautifully with your personal understanding of the system of Feminism, the false idea behind "rape culture" while supporting your pov with evidence. The young girl you were arguing with just does not understand that her actions to enforce that we live in a rape culture is doing more harm than good. Also-- she believes in the patriarchy theory, which tells me there is no hope for her since she is already in the mind think that men are to blame for this "rape culture" and sees women as these delicate flowers who "could never lie about sexual assault".
She is a lost cause. Her heart is in the right place, but like most feminists, she only sees the end goal of Equality, but fails to see the journey to get there. And within that journey, many people (men mostly) can have their lives destroyed because of Feminists thinking that Women are always victims, and Men are always abusers.
I wish you luck in your future after you finish your education. It makes me hopeful that there are people like you out there who follow logic reasoning and can see the world both objectively and subjectively. Feminists focus too much on their feelings and expect everyone to listen to them-- because they think only THEY are right because of what they are feeling. But we have solid evidence, facts, examples and a brain to critique the world around us, instead of relying on blind faith.
Good luck to you. :)
~ an admirer
Hmmm there is no evidence that suggests people report drunk hookups as rape cases.
I watched her several other videos but she seems to present one sided evidence if she presents any.
She can have her own opinions but opinions are not facts and what she is doing in her videos seems a bit too misleading.
I felt like commenting on this video because historically and still to this day, allegations of rape have not been always taken seriously, and unlike other crime, sexual crime victims often were treated as if they were responsible for the crime.
Unfortunately this video seems to trivialize rape and shame rape victims by implying that some reported rape cases are just drunk hookups. Each reported case should be treated seriously and decisions should be made based on evidence.
This video seems to imply that "some reported rape cases are just drunk hookups so we don't necessarily have to take rape accusations seriously". This will only deter people from reporting crime when it happens.
Report rate for sexual crime is already low... why create/perpetuate another rape myth?
She actually said that some feminist try to impose the fact that if you had sexe when you were drunk, then its rape. She is actually saying that we should stop messing around with rape because its a serious crime that invole living people and not just a hastag on twitter.
And yeah, its pretty hard to understand what she want to say without have been on all this shit for weeks. I looked for thousand of video avout modern femism this month. I read about 1 or 2 Harry Potter of studies and stalk some feminist twitter and Tumblr. So all is clear for me.
Plus, can you develop the part when you say that some people say that it's the victim fault. (Not the women fault because there is a fair amount of men that have been raped. And if you think that when you're drunk and "unable to consent" is rape, so its a 50/50 amount of rape...)
+Nichatte i'll provide my source when i'll be on my pc. sorry.
Female Empowerment hmm there is no evidence that you present in this comment. You can have your opinions, but your opinions are not facts and what you say in this comment is a bit too misleading.
hello. The report rate of rape is around 4% in Japan (where I live). The data are from the government survey conducted every 3 yrs. The link to the site that provides results of the surverys in pdf files is here. www.gender.go.jp/policy/no_violence/e-vaw/chousa/h11_top.html
I'm afraid they are in Japanese but it's the one I know of off the top of my head.
Female Empowerment Believe me rape is taken seriously. I believe we should always have in mind the one with carges of rape is innocent till Its proven the other way around.Nowadays Its scary to feel some woman will say you are a sexual assaulter for any reason, they are normalizing rape and actually harming people who actually get raped.
Dr. Sommers, great video, this message should serve as an important and badly-needed counter-balance to the rape culture hysteria; alas, I wanted to post & share this video far and wide but I feel like I can rather confidently predict that the people who need to hear it the most will take issue with the claim that the 1-in-5 statistic is wrong/inflated. I, for one, don't doubt it; but I would love to see a video that substantiates that point more and really drives it home!
Trying to solve a sexual assault crime without professionals is the problem and one that started because colleges didn't want things to be reported and to look bad. Call police, let them deal with it. Actual rape culture does exist. Its what caused the "hands off" behavior for the girl at Steubenville, when she was being carried around and worse, and it's what allows young men who happen to be in sports to have their friends make death threats against possible victims, but all this other bs is dangerous; it makes consent harder to confirm and quantify. I didn't like this video because it focused too much on this off-topic event. We need to stay on-topic and get into the nuts and bolts of what is correct and incorrect about the rape culture claims.
This woman is an absolute genius and deserves all of my respect. And you wanna know why? Because she talks about the truth and is an honest person. I dont care if you are a man or a woman, if you´re talking Bullshit I´m gonna be pissed. I dont care ifyou´re a man or a woman if you´re talking honest truth I´m gonna admire you. End of story.
Yes, I finally found another feminist who's smart!!! I actually though smart feminists are extinct! Yay!!!!!!!!!!
Yeah there’s a lot the movement could do to grow.
You are a great lady. It´s so refreshing to see a Feminist speak out agaist this. Bravo!
Its really hard to change the way that people think, but I personally believe that with education and presenting this facts the people will see the real problems that we have to address in the word
This hits the nail on the head. Many of these new University policies will do little to actually prevent violence, which is unfortunate.
Lady you are fantastic. And your words are medicine for a world and country that's in less-than-stellar health. Thank you. A college student myself, this problem deeply affects my potential life for the next few years.
It is great when you've got a new pool of knowledge to draw from, and these videos certainly fulfill that for me. Maybe that will help, should I encounter a proponent of the idea of "rape culture."
new favorite channel, new sub, love it!
when i was sexually assaulted, the men and women who protested against rape (the one's who "fostered" rape culture) actually helped me. because of them i feel stronger, supported and empowered. not everyone will agree and that's fine. however, people like this lady, who i believe are ignorant and minimise the seriousness of rape are the reasons why so many rape victims/surviours (men and women) struggle to report or come to terms with this terrible crime.
if i had watched this 5 years ago (when i was sexually assaulted) my depression and anxiety would have fundamentally increased more so than it had. heck, even now watching this video i felt nothing guilt and shame and ill-memories, as if the assault was my fault. her victim blaming hurt me incredibly, i just hope no one else felt the same after watching this...
Here's my catch phrase: less policies based on ideology, more acts based on facts.
I never thought I'd see a feminist with a good head on her shoulders. You, ma'am, are awesome. Being a biology major, I do enjoy someone looking at actual facts rather than cherry picking whatever fits their worldview. I'm also in full support of gender equality and the issues always interest me.
Thank you so much for your coherent, intellectual ideas here on youtube. It is so wonderful to see a credible and intelligent person taking on these ideologies that are so prevalent in our world today.
Subscribed. Actual critical thought put into this
Been following you on twitter. Gotta say you pretty much called this UVA hoax from the start (more or less) and when the truth was revealed, you just directed ppl to this video made months before. You are a heroine Dr. Sommers.
Man...I'm not one to agree with ANYTHING coming out of the AEI, but I gotta admit: this woman is DEAD on.
Thank you for existing and making these videos.
This is the only sensible feminist I´ve come across so far.
You'll probably also like Cathy Young, who according to wiki writes about "rape related dogma."
cchris874
Thanks! I need to check her out. I don´t know her yet.
Paglia too, but one always has to take her with a grain of salt (like "I would stab her" if she were in a mans shoes and the girlfriend came to his house and then said "no, I don't want sex.") Whereas Cathy Young is as coolheaded as they come.
Rape is a crime - not a culture.
Hey Christina, did you see this month's issue of TIME? College rape is the front page article, touting the 1 in 5 stat, yet, oddly enough, acknowledges in the same article, that this is breeding hysteria and is a danger to young boys on university. I wonder if that latter part is a sign of the times.
it upsets me that it took me this long to find a find a feminist who thinks clearly.
She puts my mind at ease
This is why teenagers and young adults shouldn't get involved in political issues.
weird...a feminist that kept the comments section open. im literally in shock.
"Rape culture is a concept of unknown origin and of uncertain definition; yet it has made its way into everyday vocabulary and is assumed to be commonly understood. The award-winning documentary film Rape Culture made by Margaret Lazarus in 1975 takes credit for first defining the concept."
Blackwell Encyclopaedia Of Sociology, 2007, Page 3791 - goo.gl/9sEkWi
Why is it that in academic institutions so few acadermic feminists of all grades from freeshman to proffesor fail to know even of the basic texts on a subject they lecture so many about?
Why not just let everyone in America or everywhere what counts as child molestation and rape and what does not
decrying things that are not rape as rape culture lessens the word rape.
Finally, a voice of reason. Thank you!
"protesting due process" - my brain kind of melted right there.
Many thanks to Ms. Hoff Sommers for bringing reason and credible statistics to an inflamed debate. I hope she adds into her videos one that discusses the recent studies showing that the prevalence of sexual assault on campus is significantly less than it is off campus for women of comparable age. Spreading that information is our best hope of combatting rape crisis feminism and its depredations against due process through the like of affirmative consent laws.
Thank you for your thoughts and effort. Being in my mid twenties, I recently was in High School and a teenager. I feel that the biggest enemy is the media when it comes to the over-obsession with sex that is happening. I don't think it is 100% built in us to care so much about sexuality.
That being said, I place much blame on the tropes used in children's programming: popularity, attractiveness, puppy love, awkwardness and now more sexual acts.
The term pretty should be transformed to not mean anything good. Not bad either. For example, saying "you have pretty eyes" should be the same as "you have hazel eyes." Much less of a stress should be to be cool or sexual, and those ideas should be absolutely removed from the concept of fitting in. Do you know how fucked up id be if i actually got laid in high school?
This is so refreshing, thank you very much!
I just don't get it why you keep referring to yourself as a feminist?
This is the same poisonous umbrella word that advocates laws you seem very much against.
Back in the 70's, an "old pervert" was not considered a big deal at all. It just brought chuckles to most people, but can you imagine the reaction for the same word today?
For decades now, all these news organizations care about is getting eyeballs on the screen, *NOT* to see the news, but to see their sponsor's commercials. *THAT* is all they've ever cared about. And in today's 24-hour news cycle, with multitudes of 24-hour news channels (even local ones) the rush to get the viewers watching THEIR show and not their competitor's makes the problem so much worse.
Thank you for making this excellent video. It's refreshing to hear a voice of reason associated with feminism.
The big problem is see with the "rape culture" view point is that assumes that people won't do something they know to be wrong unless society convinces them otherwise. There are lots of people that do things they know to be wrong. Criminals do exist.
My only comment about how to stop the hysteria is to keep doing what you are doing which is tell the truth. Eventually, the truth will set all of us free.
Until proven false accusation carries a mandatory sentence, false accusation is a cheap weapon.
Similarly, innocent until proven guilty in a court of law is a CIVIL RIGHT.
Thankyou for your sensibility on this topic.
Was just watching a show about ghosts and forgot I had this video opened. Pressed space to wake up computer and this turned on. Scared the shit out of me lol.
If a crime occurs, then the police need to be involved. I think the biggest problem is that the colleges are judge, jury and expeller. That, and of course the vague definition of what constitutes sexual assault, including consensual drunk hook ups.
A kangaroo court run by legally unqualified feminists for one of the most serious crimes there is. It's madness and that's what the media should be focusing on.
I honestly feel that the first step to fixing this issue is for universities to come together and take a stand against these ridiculous policies that demands universities to take an active part in what is ultimately a criminal matter that should be handled by law enforcement. Universities are so afraid of having their funding pulled that they bend over backwards for any feminist rhetoric. The safe spaces alone blow my mind. I spent 8 years in the U.S. Marine Corps in a field that had more women than the average and they did just fine without "Safe Spaces" in an environment that was by in large male. Rather than teaching people that their feelings are valid, we should be teaching people to have thicker skin so they don't overreact and label someone trying to kiss them, who is probably just a young kid reading the signals wrong like we all have, as assault.
FACTMOM IS BEST MOM
YOU RESTORE MY FAITH
False accusers, if found out, should be made to suffer the same penalties heaped on their "abusers."
I read Things Fall Apart as a sophomore in highschool and there was no trigger warning...
This is what feminism looks like. Great work
Can you provide some concise talking points about this issue? I think the first step is for everyday people to engage in open and honest discussion about the topic when it comes up in conversation.
I think there are two big challenges to overcome in an emotionally charged discussion like this. One is to assure others that your intent is the betterment of society and increased safety for everyone regardless of their group (gender, race, etc.). The second is to convince them that certain sources, probably ones that they trust, are providing them with misinformation, even if they are well-meaning.
I was raped when I was about to start kindergarten. I support feminism but the rape culture hysteria hurts victims like me by making it seem like what happened to us was normal and will probably happen again. I used to be scared to leave the house.
I recently got into a huge argument with a former friend of mine who recently became a radical feminist over an article that had just been released. This is the article. (www.salon.com/2014/08/21/college_dudes_worried_that_movement_to_take_rape_seriously_is_ruining_their_sex_lives/) I spoke how the article was biased and served no purpose but to make women afraid of men and men afraid of women. I said how women and men need to work together to fix the real problems of rape and telling women that rape is so common place that it has it's own culture isn't the way. Needless to say she saw differently and after long bouts of me speaking respectfully and her just being rude and ignorant I decided I didn't need her as a friend. It makes me smile to see someone who identifies as a feminist who knows that we need the right information and just making fear is making a different type of sexism.
Well as someone who is studying to be an engineer, I can safely say this, if you do not have 100% of all factors going into a study and are used and categorized properly, it isn't a conducive study! Meaning, that if not every student were to give their input into that "1 in 5" survey, then it should be, in scientific terms, become invalid. I'm not saying to ignore anyone who says they have been assaulted, but before declaring any survey or research document as fact, make sure it has the proper numbers to back up its findings.
I'm just glad online colleges were a thing in time for me. Honestly, I'd be a little afraid to go to college in a city. I'm still a little worried about transferring to on-campus class rooms this coming semester. What? Did you think I was a woman for a second? No, no. I'm afraid to attend because I'm a male. I'm not just a male, I'm wide and tall with a scary face. I don't like that it's the case, but it is. I just am naturally scary looking and it doesn't match my nature at all. However, because I look scary looking, I'm afraid to ever enter in a situation where I could be labelled as a criminal because it'd be a surefire conviction. A woman claims I raped her? How do I disprove that? I'm big. I'm bulky. I'm scary. She doesn't have to prove anything. She could still be a virgin, same as me, and there's a likelihood I'll be found guilty. What if someone were to assault me and claim that I started it and they acted in self defense? I'd have to find away to defend myself and keep from hurting them at the same time so that it couldn't possibly even look like I started anything. It's paranoia, but our society's giving my paranoia more and more standing. So, I'll have to make sure I stay in sight of cameras for as long as I can and make sure I do whatever I can to offset my appearance.
Main issue is that these accused sex crimes provide an environment where emotion trumps due process. Attempting to bring common sense and due process into the equation instantly gets you labeled as an apologist, which is ludicrous. We have completely forgotten to remember that we weren't present and cannot pass judgement on hearsay.
I really like how this lady explanes her veiw point.
Suggestion: Continue to the PR push. Objective being to educate parents on how unsafe college campuses are for their boys. Get universities to sign up as "hysteria free zones" that promise to protect the rights of male students. Encourage parents of boys to send them to colleges that make this promise. In other words, starve the feminists of their latest meal ticket.
Consenting sex is to rape the same as yes is to no. There are no blurred lines, no = rape, yes = consented sex. Yes I am over simplifying things according to many people but to those of us who care it is that simple. Now I will spend some time pointing fingers and explaining why I think as I do.
I am a home educator and remember my wife showing me a thread started by a mother who had an older son and younger daughter. She realised after giving her daughter a talk on how to avoid being raped that she had never talked to her son about avoiding committing it. As parents none of us like to think our wonderful baby boys could grow up and commit such an act but the reality is every man who does this was someone's baby once. My son has just started puberty so at the moment the idea of girls is still a bit repulsive, we have had serious discussions of what will happen during puberty and in a few years when he starts showing interest there will be conversations about sex and among them one about the impact of rape and ways to avoid committing it.
This is parental responsibility, by then my son will be at a school but I will not be expecting them to cover it to remove my responsibility. It will be a horrible conversation, both of us will hate it, but I would rather do something I hate than find out he has done something like this, knowing I did nothing to avoid it.
When to listen to 'no.' whenever it is said. There are too many reasons that control is required not to stop when told. this could be something as innocent as your partner needing the toilet to them realising this is a mistake, no matter how trivial there is never a time when 'too late' should overrule 'no' and yes I have lived by this.
I have had numerous occasions when I wasn't sure the other person was totally into the situation, when this has happened I have asked, most of the time the answer has been yes. The comparatively few occasions that the answer has been no have usually been followed by an apology and a polite exit by me when they have been embarrassed by the situation. Everyone makes mistakes and what seems like a good idea in a party environment can suddenly seem less so when it come time, man up and deal with it.
Ironically the fact I was so open to being told no when women were unsure meant I got a reputation for showing respect, which along with other things got me more sex, trustworthiness is an appealing trait.
Crying wolf. I would say that any woman crying rape when not victim to it should be locked up. This has happened in the UK when a women on stand confessed to lying about the rape charge and was sentenced to 3 months for contempt of court. One of the best judgements for women who have been genuinely raped I have seen so far. Unfortunately this was still less than the time than the man had spent in prison awaiting trial and would not undo the damage to his life but something had to be done and I'm glad the judge did it.
If you are a woman who has accused someone of sexual assault or rape without grounds you are amongst the worst scum on this earth, not quite as bad as a rapist but one of the reasons that many get away with it. I would never wish anyone to be raped or assaulted in anyway let alone sexually but it would be worth anyone considering crying wolf to remember the ending of the story so knowing that if they do this then get raped it will be the actions of people like them that make it so hard for rape victims to get any type of justice.
The numbers. I am not going to quote researched statistics here, there are plenty of them and if you need to be kept awake at night I would say they are better than caffeine.
I spent a lot of my youth being absurdly promiscuous, safely, but generally a disposable object used by many. My lifestyle and the fact I was rarely in one place for long meant this was not only easy but almost expected. For those considering this a boast, my average volume of sex was less then than it is now I am married, so trust me it isn't. Of the women I have known the volume I have encountered who have been raped and not reported the fact is mind-blowing. There will be some assuming this is purely because the sort of people who would be wanting to pick someone up for a one night stand would be 'asking for it' but in many cases rape was their first sexual experience and that is a horrible thing to learn.
When you are someone considered very disposable you also become a convenient counsellor too, after all you'll be gone in the morning and likely never seen again so there's no risk. As such I have been privy to some tales of woe that have made me sick and almost ashamed to be male on many occasions.
Conclusions
The first is something I hate. There will never be a day when we cure our species of the desire to rape 100%. There will always be someone who for whatever reason feels they should be able to take sex by force or even prefers to do so.
Having said this there are things I think we can do to minimise the occurrences.
Education. Predominantly from parents, ideally reinforced by peers, schools, etc. to ensure the act of rape is considered undesirable and recognised publicly as unacceptable instead of barely uttered and kept as something to figure out for ourselves.
Understand all sides. There are things both sides can do to avoid rape, I am not talking about women needing to wear potato sacks from head to toe, neither side considering the concept that they might want to have sex and letting the other know if they are a bit uncertain. I mean realising that desires can change and being prepared for this, be open with each other, so if there is uncertainty on one side the other can have a cold shower running.
Understanding the value of honesty. If someone has hurt you emotionally or you simply get carried away in a conversation and accuse someone of something they didn't do, admit it immediately. Every person who accuses falsely makes it harder for genuine victims, and the next one could be you.
As the lady says panic is not the answer. Presumed guilty is a very human style of thinking and it is too often wrong. As someone who considers sexual abuse of any kind to be the very worst of crimes I still say that due process has to be the way. There will be people wrongfully convicted, and others who get away with it, there is no solution that will avoid this. Like it or not, for most it's not, there isn't a perfect solution but mob rule has to be the furthest from it.
Finally. Sorry this has become a major rant. If anyone gets this far thank you for your patience.