SCP-2662 - Cthulhu ██████ : Object Class: Keter : Cognitohazard SCP
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- เผยแพร่เมื่อ 1 ต.ค. 2024
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Item #: SCP-2662
Object Class: Euclid Keter
Special Containment Procedures: Containment of SCP-2662 is primarily focused on preventing unauthorized entry into its containment unit. For this purpose, on-site Task Force Tau-9 has been organized to guard SCP-2662's containment unit and keep track of new religious followings focusing on the worship of SCP-2662. Task Force Tau-9 is to use non-lethal methods when dealing with an attempt of unauthorized entry authorized to use lethal force if necessary. All members of Task Force Tau-9 are to be tested bi-annually for cognitohazardous influence.
As containment of SCP-2662 is completely voluntary, it is currently contained in an enlarged humanoid containment unit with standard safety measures for low-risk humanoids as detailed in Document 0998-KA. Additionally, SCP-2662 is allowed one copy of a daily newspaper of its choice, a computer and requested computer games totaling no more than 50 US dollars every month.
SCP-2662 - Cthulhu ██████ OFF! : Object Class: Keter : Cognitohazard SCP
creativecommons...
#scp #scpfoundation #thevolgun Everything in this video was created by me, used with permission (proof can be provided without question) or it exists in the public domain.
By the way, a few people have mentioned "why didn't you give the characters voices?" ... well, I like these to sound like a professor is giving a lecture, so i like to "play audio tapes" of recordings of events. If it's a log of a description of events, I can't make that an "audio recording" because you need the narration to describe what's happening. So, I don't want to narrate what's happening and then include "voice acting", because it would be a weird way to do it, in my opinion.
I personally feel that is the proper call on your part. It would certainly have been a bit distracting to hear Miller talking and suddenly be interrupted by SCP-2662's garbled voice, or the different male/female "researchers" and other personnel. It would be a bit of a shock for say, someone just listening to audio only and not reading along.
Fair enough, though part of the fun in my opinion is imagining what 2662 sounds like all flustered.
Hu
TheVolgun I like the "lecture" style, since it gives your readings their own special feel. Maybe do some Tales like you used to for more voice acting flair?
TheVolgun Does SCP-2662 know Cthulhu?
*Cultists break in*
Cultists: GREAT OLD LORD OF MADNESS...
Cthulhu: GET OUT OF MY ROOM I'M PLAYING MINECRAFT!!!
Cultists: *Pulls out copy of Terraria
@@motharchenemy8549 cthulhu:GET OUT!
😂😂😂
i can't stop laughing
No he's playing containement breach 🤣🤣🤣
SCP-2662: I told you I'm not the Messiah, I'm just a gamer-
Humans: HE IS THE MESSIAH!!
Good reference.
lol life of brian
2662's mother: "He's not the Messiah, he's a very naughty boy!"
Only the true messiah would say they are not the messiah
Damnamas HIS SHOE
MTF:SCP 2662 HAS BREACHED CONTAINMENT
Cthulu: Ayo COD's on sale
Gozer The Gozarian IGHTT IMA HEAD OUT
"2662, we'll get it for you. please go back"
"but I want the limited edition one"
"we'll get it for you"
"you promise?"
"yes"
"....."
"....."
"ok, I'll go back"
NTF: yeah it’s fine but we can’t have like 300 people arrested for stripping down in front of you
60 bucks HE IS BREAKING THE BUDGET!!
i'ts even worst
Lmfao
*_SCP 2662 HAS BREACHED CONTAINMENT_*
Cthulhu: I'm going to McDonald's y'all want anything?
Hehhehehe you win
Chimken nugits
number 1 large with a coke, please!
Yea a big mac
Bloodsex
foundation: contains scp to protect people. foundation: contains scp 2662 to protect him from people
you know i had to do it to em BWA HAHAHAHAHAHA
That's why he's there on his own free will those damn cult followers keep doing a gross things
you know i had to do it to em They don’t care long as shit is contained
And it seems that they're not very good at it.
@@Ubermensch9240 Yeah, those cultists must be very good or the mobile task force Tau-9 is made out of idiots
If Cthulhu of all people is telling you that you need Jesus or Buddha, you should probably rethink you life choices.
👍 XD
LMAO
*Spawn of Cthulhu
*blows hole in the center of your rooms floor, pulls out knife stabs my hand then masturabte with said hand, draw weird ass symbols on wall and corner you while you are in the shower......
Eeyup,if Cthulhu tells someone that they need Jesus or Buddha,you know you’ve gone too far.....
10/10 won’t mind having to spend a day with him(if I can find a way to prevent my mind from going nuts)I mean he reads the paper and games...
Imagine gaming and halfway in the match *SCP 2662 has joined the server*
*GET THE [REDACTED] OUT OF MY ROOM IM PLAYING MINECRAFT*
Copied
GET THE [EXPLETIVE] OUT OF MY ROOM I'M PLAYING MINECRAFT
@@VanNessy97 its not expletive is [EXPUNGED]
@@trippymlgjunkrat5749 Then why did it say [EXPLETIVE] on a file?
@random account I could actually imagine Cthulhu playing Terraria XD
"I'm only nearly 200 years old, I 'm barely legal"
*"The Federal Bureau of Investigation has entered the facility"*
To sacrifice a virgin to Cthulu
When the FBI hears about the self-brainwashed psychos pulling the barely legal demon into the sex circle.: FBI Open up!
Yamato Class: Musashi is say that’s about 19?
brother the fbi dont know shit about the scp foundation the highest up "Might" know it existed
Incident log: 2662-Buttfuck
UIU breached SCP-2662's containment, hauling him off site.
SCP-2662 exclaims "Bruh"
So C'thullu is a gamer that willingly hangs out under the SCP so he doesn't hurt people and just wants the nutters to leave him alone. My Brother.
I guess now there are 2 SCPs that mean no harm to people.
@@JoeMartinez18 There are more than 2 though, like the Succubus and Tickle Monster.
Im sure his new cult is just gamers now.
So that's where the TF2 community came from.
Gentlemen, we have discovered Gaben's true form!
More like the fortnite community.
"Im only 200 years old, im barely legal" had me dying
"I'm not even ready to settle down with a cult yet!"
Sounds like Cthulhu’s son as a teenager
@Souper Effective "But DaaaaaAD the universe is banger"
@@EmilioReyes_97 "no excuses destroy it now"
wait Cthulu is a different thing so different rules
Basically:
Cultist: "O great Lord of madness, accept my blood and this virgin as a sacrifice."
Cthulhu: "Dude wtf, I just wanna play video games."
Kaan Dagdas Looks like cthulu just wanna play some games
I honestly don't think he is Cthulu. More like Cthulu Junior. His age and such make him seem to be one of the Eldritch gods' children. Most likely Cthulu himself. He would look more bulbous if it were Dagon or many of the others.
the /v/irgin is there to play vidya
Kaan Dagdas now the question is, would he turn down a hot chick if she threw herself at him? Lol
Ikr
SCP Foundation: **Has literal infinite resources and power over society**
Also SCP Foundation: Yo Cthulu, here's 50$ a month, spend it well I guess lol
I recon the games are pirated anyway. I mean, the SCP foundation doesn’t care for laws, and does care for cost saving.
@@oxybrightdark8765 Either that or Gabe Newell is a Foundation Agent.
@@oxybrightdark8765 I thought that the scp foundation was part of the united states government
@@johnraltenburg9398 what? No? They sometimes work with it, but the US government doesn’t control the SCP foundation. Why would that make sense anyway, they operate globally, often explicitly not in America (unlondon). The American government has UIU branch of the FBI, a severely underfunded organisation seen as almost a joke.
Edit: corrected the branch of the government, the uiu is fbi, not cia.
Well he hasn't done anything wrong, the can't help being the way he is. He's just a guy, you know?
SCP-2662: *That one Eldritch god with common sense*
Future Eldritch god, current status is "gamer"
This comment is gold
He isn’t actually a god. He is a High preist
SCP-2662 the god that’s pissed at his followers
Identity crisis 2020 is already so fucked up that he just became a gamer
Teenage Cthulhu, that is actually the most hilarious concept in existence.
Teenage Cthulhu was filmed in front of a live audience.
Sean King the audience is a cult aren’t they
@@triforceofcourage100 ;)
Cthulhu/TMNT crossover?
Poor angsty teenage Cthulhu doesn't want his cult to engage in orgies because of cooties.
Video games totaling no more than 50 usd a month
Oh, Forgive me, I didn't know we were on a *budget*
You would think they would up the games budget when trying to appease a god
That better quadruple when a new system comes out
He just wanted to preorder cyberpunk
Given most AAA releases are at least $60 USD nowadays, I'd have to say an extra $10-$50 US a month wouldn't break their bank.
Is he allowed to play online? He seems the kind of chill dude who'd be fun to just play with, and I know I wouldn't pry for IRL details (Hell, the Foundation could craft him an identity and they could say he's in a specialized hospital due to an immune system issue that's highly contagious, which isn't technically very far from the truth and would still prevent IRL meetups/provide an excuse to avoid IRL meetups).
cult comes in with sacrifices but also steam gift cares
cthuluuh: I ... hmm ...
2 hours later
Cthuluuh: guys keep the task force out alittle longer me and brother john are almost through this chapter!!!
I like how, not only is he "barely legal", he's the only Keter SCP where the keter isn't the SCP itself, if that makes sense.
No, I think SCP-2662 is more of a powerful threat than he seems, after all, he’s the GAMER god
When 2662 admitted that he would break out when he wanted to anyway, I think that's when they assigned Keter to him. The Foundation errs on the side of caution, and wants to bear in mind if he wants to escape, he very well could.
He was relisted as a Keter class after he commented on the fact that he could just grow stronger and break free if he wanted to. He was Euclid because his cult-spawning aura, but the fact that he thinks he can leave at any time, is aware that he will want to leave eventually, and that he believes he can eventually grow strong enough to break free regardless of what they do all combined to make him keter.
Well, Keter means that you are hard to contain, and in his case it's because the cults he attract keep breaking into his containment. You're very correct!
I think he's in containment for his own protection
I’d like to believe he plays WoW a lot and gets pissed when they mess with him during raid times. “Sorry guys I have to go afk a moment, stupid cultists keep breaking into my room... uh... I mean... the cats on fire brb”
*The cats on fire*
Now you have put the thought that there is a WoW clan of scp agents and mtf agents just fuckin about, yelling "LEROY JENKINS " and harassing ubisoft chat rooms with "we was kangz" in my head, which is a good thought.
I imagined Dr.Bright going online, steam sniping him while screaming loudly "GET GOOD"
sent me
This made me laugh hard
Dr. Bright: THE KETER IS LOOSE!
SCP- 2662: Hey can I get some pizza?
This is the best comment
“Oh, before I leave, can I have a 60$ steam giftcard?”
SCP-2662: Why am I a keter?!?!?! I just wanna be chill and cool.
Can i get the new bo4 please and can i have some pizza pockets
Dr. Bright is not allowed to get in with the cult
Can you imagine being in voice chat with this when a breach occurs? "Hold on a second I have to take care of something." The whole time gunfire is going off in the background.
"CAN YOU AT LEAST LET ME FINISH MY (LEEKO!) MATCH FIRST?!?!"
Lmao
*chanting noises*
"Look, this is awkward, but I'm essentially teenage cthulhu. People think I'm the real deal, but I'm not."
*gunfire*
"So people want to worship me. I'm not prepared for that yet, so theres this really nice group of people who offered to protect me. So I agreed."
*gunfire*
"Basically, every one or two months, some group breaks in and tries to make me their god. I say no, of course. Anyway, gotta deal with it I guess."
*gets up from chair*
"Come on, can't ya worship another god?"
*more gunfire*
*sits down on chair*
"Alright, its taken care of. Wanna play another round?"
The other people in the voice chat are like "oh he must be from America"
@@seanalfaro4770 I'm American and I approve the message
Tbh when he said: “Just Go find a new God, I heard Buddhism is all the rage” got me
Or when he said jesus christ
Nice profile pic
@@incompetentnerd4051 you too dude
Funny thing is that Buddhism doesn’t have a god lol they just worship a normal guy and don’t believe he is god
@@icedchqi Some do
Poor Cthulhu can't even buy those new 60 dollar games. Unless money carries over from month to month.
You are right!
Well, maybe if he asked for an increase of his allowance?
That’s why he plays on PC so he can get multiple games with the discounts. Lol
he probably use humblebundle and g2a
Yeah, 50 bucks a month isn't very much if gaming is all he does. I wonder if this was written years ago, when most new titles were cheaper?
Thats the real crime the foundation commits
Cthulhu is basically tired of the ritual shit.
He's like... a misunderstood teenager.
Would explain what he does on his free time
He's 200 years old
Barely Legal
*my life as a teenage eldritch god*
I would unironically want to see that
Teenager? The creature is over 200 years old. Don't believe me? check out the scp foundation.
Please someone make this an anime
@@alienz8641 Yeah ,but age is different to every being . If 200 is alot to us ,a species with longer life spans may look at 200 as still young . Most God's , especially, Lovecraftians are mostly a uncountable age .
David Ortiz I’m imagining Cthulhu wearing shorts like the movie Paul and nyarlathotep wearing a Hawaiian shirt
Dr Bright: “Who is this squidward2662 guy? He keeps stealing my kills!”
Who's gonna tell him?
I actually just laughed out loud did that’s fukin gold you deserve more likes
Nice 173 likes
Lol
316 likes and only 5 comments? hm.
I like the idea that Cthulhu
A) knows who Jesus Christ is
B) has no control over cultists/cult formation
C) is grossed put by their behavior and has an "aww, Comon man, stop that" attitude.
He just wants to play games and read the news
@@catnerdadrian7601 exactly 😂
MashedPotatoes/// Identity V, and More! Nope they want the approval of moon lord not Cthulhu
D) Is a gamer
Creeper
If Cthulu says you need the bible then something is really wrong with you
Genmu Zero you just screwing up hardcore
Genmu Zero omfg
lol, Cthulu says you need Jesus you need Jesus.
Genmu Zero
It was at this moment the cultists realized,
They fucked up.
The fact that this has 777 likes also proves this point
2662 has the best reaction one could expect a normal sentient being to have to rituals: "Ya'll need Jesus".
No he says "Look, can you go read a bible or something? you really, really need it."
@@alienz8641 stop correcting everyone, it's a joke, chill the hell out.
Alien Z you must be fun at parties
@@alienz8641 Is there even any difference at this point?
motherminion sarcasm increased to 100 lmfao
SCP Foundation: *raises cthulhu's allowance to $100*
Cthulhu: "This is because I said I could escape, isn't it?"
SCP Foundation: "Aight we'll raise it to 200$ cause you've been a good boy"
I'd chill with Cthulu. He seems like a college roommate, tbh.
Until he accidentally takes control of your mind and you end up using your dog to try to pleasure him
@@jadedoptimistt unless you have a high mind control resistance
Enters SCP 2662's room.
2662: Jesus f**k. This better not be wierd cult shit ag...
me: YOU USED AN AIMBOT YA BASTARD!!!
2662:.......uh... thats not in my $50 budget.
me: well, this is... awkward then. Hey that [newest game]?
2662: yeah.
Tau-6 arrives and sees me and 2662 playing games and watching youtube together while laughing our asses off.
Tau-6: Uh.... is this cult stuff?
2662: No.
Tau-6: What are we supposed to do now? This isn't what we usually deal with...
thats some cringy shit bro
what kind of college roommate did u have?
SCP-2662 is the most chill Keter class who else agrees
Some random annoying kid what is dr bright considered what is his classification again
James Howlett euclid
James Howlett only scp more chill than him is prolly 999
@@siristheslayer1923 SCP 999 is dog-like in nature. The creature isn't chill but more loving. Chill is when you don't have any extremities in your ideals.
@@Oneiros0629 He got reclassified as keter
Cthulu - "Hello and welcome back to Let's Play S-" *religous group breaks in* LORD AND SAVIOR! :D
Cthulu - "JESUS CHRIST, CAN'T YOU SEE IM PLAYING A GAME HERE?!"
Pootis.
Cthulhu "Elder Gods dammit, this is the 5th time this week! I just want to play some Just Dance you schmucks!"
Mrkabrat no battlefield
HELLO EVERYBODY, my name is Cthulhu and TODAY we'll be playing Five Nights at Freddy's 7: the dissappearance of god! *cult breaks in* Oh my god why!? I'm playing a video game here! Go find another god!
Tenta il Wha? But the 7th Five Nights at Freddy's game is already out. That's not what it's called!
Cthulhu worshiper : Oh throdog cthulhu mgah'ehye ya ymg' vulgtlagln
Cthulhu : i don't use java.
Cthulhu: I dont speak skajbsfjha, my grandpa never taught me and dad never seemed to talk but I know English
that's a little bad dude
Lovecraftian: 😍😍😍😍
SCP 2662: No, now waitaminute!
I said, "Really?!?!" Not _Ry -leh_ .
@@martinxy1291 i wonder if Hastur his brother the the Lovecraft Universit is like this
Cthulhu: I DONT SPEAK FUCKING ENCHANTMENT TABLE
He clearly is the most chillest SCP
I have to agree. He just wants to chill, play games on his computer, read the paper, and would rather not have a literal cult following. This guy had pig testicles offered to him and replies sarcastically that he is full. He goes on to vomit, as any one would.
I just feel bad. I want to play some payday with this guy, he seems lonely. Provided I can resist the mind control effects which I’m sure are subconscious so he couldn’t be doing it on purpose. I just want to be his friend, not a Slave or a acolyte, just make him know it’s gonna be alright.
Because 2 Tau-9 and a bunch of D-class broke into the chamber
Bruhhh 69 it's the most dangerous class of scp (whether the effects are by choice or not) and in this case the creation of cults (even though he doesn't purposely create them) would be considered dangerous
Also the fact that he says if comes to it he will break free if the foundation won't let him leave when he want
Bruhhh 69 classes of scp are safe, Euclid, keter, and thaumiel. Safe means that an scp need no special containment it's inert as long as it isn't handled. Euclid bumps up security and containment but the threat of the object is middling. Keter is a potentially world ending item, person or object that must be under the most stringent and individualized containment possible. Thaumiel items are essentially from what I gather anti scp but are very rare and the ones the foundation do have are utilized in only the most world threatening events
I think the award should go to Stan from accounting, he literally got SCP 106 AND SCP 682 to consider work, and got a business card from SCP 106.
the O5 Council says it's my turn on the pc
you know this was way too good. Underrated comment here.
I have to say that was good
No its mine
i like alotta comments but not enough to LIKE LIKE them, i LIKE LIKE this.
but I want the pc
"O Great Lord, please accept our worship and honour our virginal sacrifice!"
"Seriously? Right here in front of my salad?"
Priorities
Head cannon: SCP-2662 is just some guy in a really advanced suit of alien armor that he doesn’t know how to get out of
"Its more likely than you think."
Fairylaw777 7, I’d see that
Who wanna eat this salad mixed with meat and fish and other meat stuff and veggies
"Hey, uh, guards? If a Jehovah's Witness comes knocking. . . Please let him in. I could really use a change of pace."
Cult: WE HAVE ARRIVED LOR-
Jehovah Witness: do you have a moment to talk about our lord and savior...
Cult: Darn those Jahovah witnesses are getting smarter and smarter. Somehow they managed to form this cult and bring us here. This was a stupid idea, I’m out.
Cthulhu: yesssss
"brother Cthulhu would you like to start the reading"
Witness: "And Jesus spoke of other sheep who would hear his message-"
Cthulhu: (smiles and nods)
Witness: "-and he commanded to slaughter the sheep and present their genitals to-"
Cthulhu: "Crap." (pounds on the door) "Okay, we're done in here."
Underrated Comment
I know picture Jehovah's Witness Knocking on a door in the middle of nowhere without realizing it's an SCP site.
I love how he just is kinda casually attempting to get rid of anyone who’s harassing him without violence tho he just wants to read his newspaper and play video games he sounds like a chill guy, and I’d like to play Mario cart with him
Worshiping Chuthulu I Sleep
Playing Mario Cart With Chuthulu REAL SHIT
i hope i could have be able to be his room mate without all the cultist stuff
Yeah, he seems like a chill dude. Like the kind of guy you'd hang out with on an open Friday night.
Yeah, I'd love to be friends with a tentacle boi. He'd be my Octo Daddy and he'd make me squishy. Then to show my devotion to Octo Papa I'd sacrifice the nonbelievers who keep him from spreading his tentacle goodness all over the world. The streets will run thiccc red with the blood of all who refuse to understand tentacle father and his throbbing slimy love.
Edit: thanks for 666 likes Cthulhu Squad fam. I apologize for nothing.
Edit 2: yes
Tristan Miller you just had to ruin it huh?
I can imagine this dude playing Skyrim and then an explosion happens and says “ugh not again”
*ah [redacted], here we go again*
Never should have come here...
Feeler hey you’re finally awake
Makes you wonder if someone ever broke in to dropoff Cthulhu games.
Then he plays the dragonborn questline and feels somewhat uncomfortable with people worshipping a tentacle monster
Cultist: oh my great dark lord, how may I serve you?
Cthulu: bring me a pizza
“Bring me more than $50 for my steam wallet”
@@mparty1116And now we see why Teenthulu is in the SCP. Pineapple on pizza, that should be an SCP all of its own...
@@mparty1116 what is wrong with you
Ase
I know right? Pineapple doesn't belong on pizza
@@Mesruksi Yes, Yes it does, Half pepperoni and half Hawaiian pizza are delicious. Don't put the Pineapple in with the pepperoni during the making process but put the 2 slices on top of each other or for some reason then yes it does taste very bad.
"50 dollars a month"
Just 10 short from being able to preorder cyberpunk
*Sad Lord of Madness noises*
"Oh shit, look at that! A new g-"
*$60*
2662 is seen sobbing in the corner muttering "Fucking hell", "goddamn budget", and "Bunch of cucks"
Can he save the money though? If he just spend 40 dollar a month and take the ten dollar for the other month
Then he should put that $50 into his steam wallet, wait a month, then pre-order it. Problem solved!
He can just pirate new single player games, maybe request that they do maintenance or upgrade his PC once in a while instead.
He'll probably could ask for some extra money every once in a while and it would probably be approved np
I like how a *Keter* scp is only a *Keter* because of its cult
Edit:what if Cthulu was an amazing esports player
Well he did mention that when he gets older, he can break out more easily. That's seems to be the reason why he was bumped up from Euclid to Keter.
He'd have a *cult following*... hopefully of the non blood sacrifice kind... I also suspect the cults could be a prank by their farther or other relative
When you meet a ridiculously good player and you namecalled him hax, remember, maybe it's Cthulu
he would have a CULT following
He problem is a amazing e sports he loves his whole life doing nothing but playing PC games he probably has more ours tuning and practicing his skills and tracking and 360 flicks then you have been alive
XD I love how scp-2662 is literally just taking advantage of the foundation. so he would be in their care, until he's strong enough. and he would certainly go out his own way if he wanted to... but the thing is, he doesn't want to go. he has a steam library filled with games. and its not gonna play itself.
Scp 2662 Containment Procedures: All the top rated games in Steam
69 likes.
Even when he does try to escape, I'm pretty sure the foundation has like, 70 different ways to kill him just incase
@@asteranightshade2981 682
So basically, Cthulu acts more human than humans..
sad
He is a monster that acts human, who makes humans act like monsters.
@@bruxinth4660 confused yet?
We should worship his ways!
@@ggd2192 no don't, he has had enough of that.
“I’m barely legal” 😂😂.
I love how this implies that gods have a “can have cult at this age” limit
Jinn
@@nightmarepolice7590 jinn??
@@kahuna_6424 jinn!!!
lol
He'll eventually make a cult filled with gamers and pop culture enthusiasts who like to sit around and discuss various topics, play games together, and just enjoy life together.
I feel like that's the cult he wants, but dear old dad keeps sending the psychotic, orgiastic cults his way to have him follow in Papa Cthulhu's footsteps.
Inb4 he joins GAW
and the eventual blood orgy just the casual stuff
@@JaxMerrick "You can't do that stuff anymore dad! It's disgusting! We have actual hygiene standards now!"
"Where did I go wrong with you?"
That does sound like the life though. No hate, no taboos, just bros and games.
Cult: "o lord please accept our offering" **slaughters piglet**
Cthulhu: " you need Jesus"
😂😂😂😂
No he says "Look, can you go read a bible or something? you really, really need it."
A fellow Christian, I see.
Jonah K.
I really don’t understand this joke; I’d like to get an explanation, please !
**Splat** "Oh you want see Jesus!?"
Nah, it's cause it's cthulu.
It needs to be black.
Definitely one of my favorites, he acts like a person but then basically hints at the fact he’s like an 18 year old god
200 years old god (i think that means he is a teen couse he isnt ligaly a god -_-
@@syrus7594 really?
B A C O N Does it matter?
Cant wait till he turns 21 and finally joins the family business by laying waste to all life on earth
Cthulhu as a teenager... We all gonna die... In a few millennia... When he finally gets off his butt and gets a job...
Cultists: Please accept this sacrifice of innocent life, o Lord!
Cthulu: You need God. Seriously, he's right down the hall.
Reading that one about god feels concerning... pretty sure that one isn't all it says
@@soulsearcher9620 yeah there’s definitely some reality altering going on there
@@soulsearcher9620 I feel like that half the point of it. The "is it or is it not actually God or just something that WANTS you to think it's God or maybe something that ITSELF thinks it's God?"
@@soulsearcher9620 of course it's not god, it hasn't even demanded one foreskin.
@@mangalink25
ye, also "borger" aint good enough for me
"I'm only two hundred years old, I'm barely legal."
I can't stop laughing at that one.
SAME LMAO
Is there an inside joke or something that has a different meaning in english that I do not understand? Like seriously, And DO NOT R/WHOOSH ME IF YOU WANT TO WAKE UP TOMMOROW
@@oferzilberman5049 r/woooosh
@@oferzilberman5049 also he's basically saying that he's too young to take part in rituals or group sex cause that was what the d-class wanted to pull him into. He's also too young to have his own cult. So accept your woooosh
K
Guys, this SCP isn't C'thulhu, it's C'thulhu's angsty teenage (in Great Old Years) son. He's pressured by his father to become a cosmic lord of evil and madness, when he's more interested in pursuing an art career.
Albert Nave “But dad, i want to be an artist... y’know, like Hastur.”
Are you serious or is this just head cannon?
Xeran Dereth if only it was.
Cthulhu: BOI! You will become a cosmic god and you will have your blood sacrifices! And your art degree greatly displeases me!
TheOrangex88 “It should have been a masters in business damnit!
This week on Bangbros: *BARELY* Legal Elder Gods
*Outer Gods.
What is the legal age?, I'm asking for my friend.
Corrupted Cyborg
At least twice the mortal lifespan...
I'd ballpark 200-300 winters.
Corrupted Cyborg 480 years he’s in his 12-14 age in human life
The Two that’s fucking hot
"There is a difference between having the distinguished looks and features of a god, and actually wanting to be seen as one." - The Emperor of Man.
Yeah
The tts big E?
Lösungs Orientierte Partei LOP DID SOMEBODY SAY DIE FOR THE EMPORER
*accepts being called a god anyways*
@@highadmiraljt5853 THE FUCKIN EMPORAH PROTEKS!!!
I just picture a dad cthulhu talking down to this scp like "come on, you cant even take charge of a paltry dozen followers? Whats wrong with this generation?!"
2662: Dad, I told you, I want to be a pro gamer... I'll lead a fandom, but not a cult
when I was your age I was already eating virgins and sinking continents for minimum wage
2662: oh come on!!! The heck?! I'm not legal im 200 years old!!! I want to be like loki not a fu***n' cult leader! HELL NAH
"But Dad... I'm just 2 centuries old. "
iT's nOT a phAsE DAd!!
Probably my favourite scp so far, he's just chilling and sometime some cultist suddenly break in his room and start doing some weird ass stuff, he just wants to live a normal young God like life.
i wonder if the cultists get it or its always the same ones.
Do not change the likes. It’s perfect
Its funny that SCP is more or less its private security to keep out fanatical fans that 2662 wants nothing to do with.
I FREAKING LOVE HIS REACTIONS. "PLEASE, THAT'S SO UNSANITARY!!" He's so human it's just adorable.
Tegan Small “I’m not even ready to settle down with a cult yet I’m only 200 years old!”
Oof
Tegan Small when does that happen
asked, turns out 1000 is that age
The shower part _still_ gets me, especially with the mental image of a teenaged Cthulhu just banging his head against a shower wall in sheer exasperation.
Imagine being in a COD lobby and you hear one of the players "Yo guys I gotta go, the cultists are back"
Right in the middle of the game and your just like shit...he finna be afk for a long time lol
he just has a closet to hide in, prob where his setup be
The what now?
I pity SCP-2662. He just wants to live a normal life and these wackos keep on bugging him and doing awful things to him. Also, I wouldn't mind being friends with him if it weren't for the fact he induces madness.
I actually think that it is maturing social parasite
And in the end like human adults are finding jobs , those Catullus creatures are getting their own cults
Perhaps those religious groups are send by his parents so he would finally grow up and ,,found his own job''
Don’t friends do that too??
Easy problem to get over just get a plus 2 MAR
Fortunately this takes 6 months to happen.
And the other cthulu wants to eat the world
You know, this scp maybe the only keter class scp that's willing to be contained.
Chances are, yeah. Poor thing
Technically 2845 is too, since it could breach whenever it wants to,
There's also Cain, Mr. I destroy crops
welll he can get whatever he want without working
Also he's trying to protect himself from the inconvenience and nonsense of random cults coming to take him away.
2662 probably spends half the Foundations budget on pizza and dlcs
Nah, they just get the infinite pizza box.
@Michael S. Dlc's: Downloadable content. Dipshit
@Michael S. Damn, i feel sorry for you.
@Michael S. stop being a bruh moment
@Michael S. *Dude got caught slippin!!!*
This SCP is one of the few scp’s that actually reacts in the way I would react
a new cult has just broke into SCP-2662 bearing gifts of pizza a ps4 and 3000 dollers worth of steam cards
I spoke to 05, and after the petitions of 8,294 doctors i can announce that we did NOT confiscate them!!!
he has since joined their clan on steam and is currently wrecking face on cs go
Now this is more like it, I like this cult.
Penultimate-Media use comas please
2662 says: "Jesus Christ."
Idk, but that's really funny to me.
SCP 2662: Yall need jesus
@@ahmadbani1452 Scp: you all need church
@@askthelord7675 SCP 2662:
y'all need to read the bible
If an Eldrich God tells you that you should read the bible and needs jesus maybe rethink your life choices?
“I’m not even ready to settle down with a cult yet! I’m only, like, two hundred years old! I’m barely legal!”
- Cthulhu 2018
Sounds to me like his son.
Whoever wrote this is a bloody genius
Writing Cthulhu as a innocent cephalopod thing that just wants to chill but has anomalous abilities
Cthulhu Jr. probably streams games with Dr. Bright.
TheLastBabyMan that is my head canon now...
I would watch a let's play with Cthulhu Jr and Doctor Bright
I'm imagining that dialog. Help me!
As of ██/██/██ Dr. Bright is no longer allowed to stream with SCP-2662 following the incident.
SCP-2662 is allowed to stream to SCP personnel and other low containment SCPs. SCP-343 has been requested to be notified when SCP-2662 goes live though it is not known whether or not SCP-343 actually needs to be informed.
can just imagine that stream but instead of being swated by police your swated by a insane sex cult covered in blood.
I can imagine bright doing some roleplay.
This SCP sounds like a real Bro, if it weren't for the gradual mind control I'd defiantly be up for working in the security team for that one.
Id certainly feel safer keeping people from getting to him then dealing with a psychotic immortal lizard monster or a something like SCP-173.
Jubble heh, murdering-regenerator lizard or a statue with a new snapping fetish! Xd
Hey I'd rather deal with mad cultists then the other shit in SCP.
Jubble SCP-173? Oh... You Mean Peanut!
Actually the cognitohazard part only affects about 5% of humans and 2% of foundation personnel so that's the least of your worries.
TBH guarding SCP-173 might be the safest assignment. It's not strong or fast enough to break out on it's own.
Honestly I really want to see all the safe SCP’s to be put in a room together and just interact
Cuthulu: And then they proceeded to do some kind of blood orgy. It was gross.
SCP 507: You think people constantly worshiping you is bad, try going to alternate dimensions at ra-
Cuthulu: God Dammit...
The Anime Noob SCP-999: *globs*
SCP-343: come on, it's not all that bad.
The Butler's Bell: *remains untouched*
A Gift From Dad: *sits there, empty*
The Stitched Bear: *cries*
But Cthulhu is Keter, not Safe, for obvious reasons.
@@LnPPersonified he is a safe creature... just he need extra protection... like extra extra extra protection
He is like the most chill keter who just wishes that the f***ing cults would leave him alone
Jesus Christ, please stop I just showered ~ Cthulu
Can you go read a bible
...you clearly need it ...-cthulu 2018
MrFlippybob my new favorite quote
#goodguycthulhu
Ramen Noodles
Funny you'd say that because there's a pretty good comedy RPG called Cthulhu Saves the World.
MrFlippybob Ctulhu: "Hey 323, can you teach them some lessons? I can't deal with them!"
actually 2014
If I had A MARS (Mind-Affecting Resistance Scale) Of 2 or higher I would probably like to hang out with chthulu.
Same here tbh
man, who doesnt want their own MARS, its a cool planet
MTF Tau 9 would like to know your location.
Same
I feel like i would be able to handle it lol, maybe get him into anime xD
Cthulu is currently playing:
SCP: Containment Breach.
*He's preparing*
How many god damn times do I gotta tell you to stop eating cigars
Says Cthulu to Pyro Shark
Cthulhu#4326
*PLAYING A GAME*
SCP: Secret Laboratory
@@ThatOneGuy-wr8rh the tag number should of been his number on the video
2662 is the kind of being you just want to hang out with at the mall. Well, a mall full of people able to resist the mental effects.
And being able to do 10 complex things at once? Holy crap. 2662 is a MMO raid team all unto themself lol.
cultist: hey oh great god Cthulhu I present thy body to you
Cthulhu:shut up i'm playing fortnite
dammit... too late...
@@michaelsoftbinbows next time brother
Please no...
@King Grim Beat me to it
Heck
Writer:What if....Cthulhu was the most chill scp...?
SCP Wiki mods: . . . Eh why not...
Edit: How do you people find this shit funny stop liking this.
Ethan McAlaster and now we have the best SCP ever
Legit
I mean that makes sense if you think about it from the Mods perspective
999 is way more chill and even makes everyone and everything also super chill. Even if the effect is temporary.
Holy shit I just returned to this video and noticed how many likes this comment has, how do you people find this shit funny?
Do you think when SCP-2662 is powerful enough he will remember everything about how nice the people where at the facility and help them?
Yeah I think so, he could help use his subconscious mind control powers to help keep for example the ritual of the Deer SCP going to contain it or he could maybe try to keep 682 appeased by feeding it D class every so often so that it stays contained or something like that
You can have all the help you can get, but the scarlet king will never be stopped
@@spooderlover3512
The other SCPs have their own K-class agendas. The Scarlet King either learns his place, or fights for his scenario if they breach containment.
@@spooderlover3512 Well.. like all the other gods in SCP, Scarlet King very much is bound by the laws of reality. He..it may find them easy to bend and twist, but cannot break them.
That puts it in a league not high enough to be impossible to be dealt with.
Also.. your comment goes against whats happening to the Scarlet King. The reason world exists is Scarlet King being stopped. There may come a time when Scarlet King will destroy everything or whatever, but until then.. it is stopped.
He might become like a thaumiel
Why not give him a bunch more stuff? He's here voluntarily.
I agree; if he's here voluntarily, I think he should be given more than THAT.
Of course, I guess all he needs to do is ask for it too, and they would probably comply due to his, just, humane behavior.
Yeah i don't understand why the foundation is housing SCPs that are here voluntarily in what are basically prison cell. Especial the ones who can get out whenever they want and even more for the one who can thanos snap half of humanity with ease. You want those things to stay compliant and contained, not make them feel like they are prisoners with minimal living standards.
Mughaaaaals
@@thurqs1938 oh yes.
@@mandrac2 it apparently doesn’t look like a cell on the inside and just looks like an apartment
SCP-2662: Jesus Christ stop I’m taking a shower
SCP-343 and SCP-001 (Gate guardian): I got you homie!
All Cultist were obliterated
And one died by choking on a Hamburger that suddenly mainfested in in his lungs
Followers: You are my god!
SCP-2662: You need Jesus
Hyena Hammock y’all need SCP-343
I HEAR BUDDHISM IS ALL THE RAGE
If Cthuhlu says that you need Jesus, you've got issues.
Cultists: breaks into chtulhu's room*
Chtulhu: *that's it I'm waking up azathoth*
FACTORY RESET TIME BABYYYYY
Bill Wurtz: You could make a religion out of this
Cthulhu: *Surprised Pikachu Face*
Lê troll face
*TO THE GUILLOTINE!*
Cthulhu:*No Please don’t...*
"Your lord is pleased... go home"
This thing is hilarious.
I love the mental image of Cthulu as like some gamer locked in a room like PLEASE LEAVE ME ALONE
I'm barely legal!
Best line yet.
I may be getting the wrong message, but is he implying that there’s more of him ?
Well.... how can i explain this to you.... When a Great Old One loves another very much, they retire to some unkown place, and return with a newborn Great New One...
Backspace Gaming so that’s a yes ?
i mean he has to have a mom and dad, right?
He also comments about his maturity at one point and how he will continue to get stronger so yeah most likely he is the equivalent of a teenage eldrich god.
I love how the only reason he's marked as Keter is because he said he can break out whenever he wants, but chooses not to 🤣
I never thought someone could make Cthulhu a likeable and relatable character.
hey, our dark lord has always been a likeable character
R E L A T E B L E
I think this is his nephew or something., but yes, he seems at first to just be some dude who doesn't want that much crazy grossness near him, but then it's revealed, he's just a budding young squid deity.
he just wants to read his newspaper and chill. hell id have a beer with him
Shortruler Ah yes, I also have a cult wanting to stalk me when I shower.
So Cthulhu is just a chill dude, but once a month people try to worship him... I like this version better
like he just is becoming powerful. in a few hundred years he will be more of a problem.
likely won't even be a problem. he'll have his cult doing their worship thing once he's come out into his own, but from the current look of things he probably won't be heralding an apocalypse or anything.
Cthulhu just wanna have a human oc
this is cthulu jr soo
I like the idea of "yeah I can do that but I don't need to" mentality like one punch man op as hell but really pulls his punches like Spider-Man he has to roll with the punches or the guy who kicks or punches him is gonna injure himself
i feel bad for it
i mean it's one of a very little amount of scp's who WANT to be contained
I think he prefers containment not to keep him in, but to keep the nutters out.
I do too. And I don't blame him! Who would want people conatantly doing absolutely DEESGUSTING things right in front of you in order to "PLEASE" you!
Cultists: "WE LOVE YOU"
2662: "GET YOUR NUTS OFF MY CEREAL!"
This is about the only SCP so far that actually made me laugh genuinely as far as how relatable it makes itself become
The poor guy just wants a normal life
SpeedMeatBeat as normal as possible for SCPs
Joshua Veliganio yeah.
Until he’s of the ripe old age of ????
julianarwen Yo, he’s probably dealt with shit like this for thousands of years and now these nice and SANE humans give him a room, a shower, games and food.
This actually explains a lot. He’s just so DONE with the crazy cults. He just wants to chill.
julianarwen Until Azathoth awakens and we are all wiped out from existence, since we are are nothing more than a vague dream to The Blind Idiot God.
Cultist:”Oh great one, please accept my sacrifice of blood and this virgin for your plans..”
Big mans: “bro chill.. let’s just smoke a doob and have some pizza chill”
Cthulhu finally gets a hang of his powers, "Your lord demands you bring him pounds of the dankest green. Some blow wouldn't be bad either"
Imagine one of the researchers giving him 420-J
It ain’t easy being an eldritch god these days....
Well, the kid of one anyway.
Spontaneous cult generation has to be one of the most unique abilities I’ve seen.
For him is basically a curse
Considering that this ability is involuntary, it's probably also got to be one of the worst if the level of savagery is that high...
... we need Cthulu and God to have some kind of chat. Maybe the old man can give our young eldrich god of dreams a few tips, maybe give him the "talk" about cults.
BigBroLittleSis1 that would be awesome!
judofry I agree
omigod this needs to happen
Great now im just imagining summoning cults are just the gods version of puberty
"why am i hairy down there, why am i smelly, why are there bombs, why am i being taken into an orgy, why does my voice crack so much, why are people giving themselves tattoo in front of me,why cant i focus when im around Cindy, why is there a pentagram on the wall, why are there people cutting themselves in my living room, why is my door missing..."
2662 just acts like a normal dude who went onto a bad part of tumblr
Thomas Travaglione lol you mean just tumblr?
@@Andre-uu5xv is tumblr really all that bad
@@Bendanna93 Theres a bad side and a good side. Clearly Sans boy over there probably hasn't gone onto tumblr
Apart from tumbler....
Sounds like a anime life of an average man.
The Internet: CTHULHU R'YLEH
Cthulhu: please no. T~T
So pretty much a eldritch god that doesn’t like his followers, powers AND he’s docile? What kind of reality is that?
A introvert Cthulhu. x)
Gordon Nukem A teenager version that might change as time goes on.
Gordon Nukem A teenager eldritch creature who consider having a cult is the equivalent of getting married. He still needs several thousand years before he's ready to "settle down"
Well perhaps their beliefs deem that it’s only right to lead a cult once their psychic abilities have fully manifested which could take several centuries, or this eldritch isn’t a fan of all the cults, godhood, bloody worship, etc. at the moment. It’s still pretty funny.
The kind where humans got it wrong... Again...
In all reality I can see this being plassable if cathulu was real...
Ok how has no one made a cartoon about a jaded demigod that just wants a normal life but the followers of a cult (which he did not start) won't stop trying to appease him with offerings that he doesn't want "Ew stop I don't want a pig's heart with a pig teeth necklace I mean black-ops 4 just came out and it's a more convenient gift on both parts"
i see it more of an anime in the style of Kill La Kill
@@orcatwar9810 there's boku no pico too, thats pretty much the synopsis
How's a short comic? (Not mine)
th-cam.com/video/UsLsfGbXrnY/w-d-xo.html
Not a show but a character in a game, Zoe from monster prom? Kinda in the same vein, but she's a girl who is really into fanfic.
mi computer broke i had a pilot and 1 ep ready i can tell you what its about
For some SCPs the custody is protective, I guess.
I mean the P isn't there just for show.
Like the succubus
True
@Android19 Protect has a double meaning here, protect humanity from the SCPs & the SCPs from humanity
@@rapmabida9813 that poor gal.
Teenage cthulu not ready for cult, acting like the girl in school that everyone wanted, but she just wanted to be alone......... big mood.