Why I Didn’t Tell My Wife That I Was Watching Porn
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- เผยแพร่เมื่อ 7 พ.ค. 2023
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Over the course of five years, Alex struggled to find recovery from his porn addiction while his wife, Candice, suffered from betrayal trauma and body image issues as a result. After years of recovering from porn and betrayal trauma, Alex and Candice choose to share their story and advocate for couples who have been impacted by porn.
You can watch Alex and Candice's full video at • Our Experience with Po...
Fight the New Drug is a non-religious and non-legislative organization that exists to provide individuals the opportunity to make an informed decision regarding pornography by raising awareness on its harmful effects using only science, facts, and personal accounts.
To learn more about how pornography impacts individuals, relationships, and society, visit ftnd.org/.
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Bro… I wish I could talk to you guys about my struggle. Was exposed around 11 when the internet just arrived and I’m in my 30’s now but still can’t break this habit for good.
You are not alone friend.
A dopamine detox would be good and when you want to watch it just do another thing like exercise or puzzles or just go for a walk
I'm around your age and it is also my struggle too, keep moving forward to break it, it's possible!
I started meeting with some guys from a local church. They have been such a help to me.
same but i truly hate it now
When I was married, my ex noticed that I had porn saved on my computer and asked me, "Why do you have that?". Her reaction surprised me a bit because she would sometimes get in the mood whenever we were watching a film and a sex scene was involved. I said to her that I like to watch it when I masturbate. She never brought it up again, but it's definitely a reaction I wasn't expecting knowing what she was into in the bedroom. That being said, know what your partner is into before getting serious. If porn is something that concerns you, please bring it up early on. It's almost taboo for some people to bring it up because of their own upbringing, but it can save you from a seriou issue later on.
Do you still watch porn?
Porn ends marriages this is another reason that motivates me to give up porn.
Yep, it's ending mine.
loneliness epidemic in america should be called porn epidemic
You're so right. Not only in US, it is the same in all "developed" countries
I agree with you. Especially all these guys in the "manosphere" and " passport bros", they complain about not being able to find a partner yet they continue to use porn.
@@jessiesheldon-huffey1824 exactly. Women don't want to be with someone who needs to look at pixels to get off. It is just pathetic. Women don't want a man who lacks integrity and secretly enjoys videos of rape.
Thankfully, my porn struggle ended a month into our marriage. God really stepped into my life with ferocity and gave me a wake-up call. If my wife wasn't pregnant, she would have divorced me. Now we're happier than we've ever been. She has recovered 99% I'd say because it's still a scar but the pain is gone. She loves me more than she ever has and I couldn't be more grateful.
Good on you for actually changing. My husband is non repentant and has continued for years.
Hi! I’m a girl and I have a question. I found out that my partner watched porn two weeks into our relationship (we are now six months in), and meanwhile those times, he did not want to have intercourse with me.
I have learned about this many months later. We had a conversation and I expressed that it hurt me a lot, because sharing my body with someone is sacred and an honor, and that honor must be upheld.
He said that watching it was just like a bad habit that he couldn’t break, like smoking.
But, I’m struggling with getting over it. It keeps creeping into my mind and my mind whispers “what if he watches it in an incognito tab”. But of course, I stop myself and say “let it go”.
But, as a man who struggled with a porn addiction, can you please tell me why??? I want to understand.
I asked my boyfriend if it was because he was disappointed in what he saw in me.
My boyfriend said it had nothing to do with me and that I was even more than he could have expected.
With your relationship, would you say it was the same? That it didn’t have anything to do with your relationship?
Please help me. I’m writing this as I’m holding back tears and trying to remain calm. I know it was a long time ago but my mind can’t seem to shut up.
@carolincheco7711 Please, whatever you do, do not give up on him. He needs you. My porn struggle had nothing to do with my wife, but everything to do with my past. Men who are struggling with or addicted to porn generally do not think that their partners are not enough for them. They struggle because of what they were exposed to as children.
We were not growing up properly with healthy sex lives and mature brains. Our cognitive development was hampered greatly because of the damaging effects porn has on our brains. For you and your relationship to heal and be restored, he needs to exercise deep self reflection. What is the root cause of his porn struggle? What was his childhood like? How involved were his parents within his life? Was he abused in any way growing up? These questions and others must be answered with elaborate explanations. May your journey with him be filled with love and peace!
We need more videos like that.
im not judging I justwant to know why are the people who are married watching porn,is your sex life non existant? I wathced porn because ive beenalone for 25 years and yes its wrong and hurts.I watch it to remind me of my pass sexual encounters but it just really made me feel awful. I stopped for weeks then the lonlinest will catch up to me,at night when I cant call a friend go out for a walk it freaking hurts then when its over its like a show with a bunch of bullies laughing at me.
I've found as I've had my ups and downs that it's not about sex life as much as it is a coping mechanism for difficult emotions I never learned to process. As I've started realizing more what my emotional and bodily triggers are (toxic shame, hunger, loneliness, finding a task at work too difficult, work stress, skipping a meal because I feel I am too busy to eat), I've also started noticing that I can disarm those triggers.
But it's more about managing triggers than it is about feeling horny. Horniness can very often be just a mask that uncomfortable feelings hide behind.
this is scary af
The lack of emotion in his testimony is also scary to me
Sometime I think that being porn a taboo...is good 👍😊
I just told my wife last night, expecting the worst. She told me she thought porn was totally normal and not an issue, even though she doesn't do it. Now I'm confused lol.
Your wife has adopted the attitude of many in our culture, that doesn't mean porn use is ok. It is fulfilling a sexual desire outside of your marriage and will ruin it. I should know as I am leaving after discovering my husband's porn use after we both had agreed it was virtual infidelity.
@jessiesheldon-huffey1824 seems harsh to leave over porn, have you done any introspection to see why you feel so threatened by it? I do think it's partly a self-esteem issue.
@exnecross3141 as an outsider only having a tiny bit of info, I see why you might say it seems harsh but you don't understand the backstory or morals that supposedly governed our marriage. I was raised in a very conservative home, very sheltered and niave. When I met my husband 25 years ago, he hid stuff from me. I didn't find out until after we were married that he was a heroin addict. I also found a playboy magazine in his stuff when we were moving in together. I told him then that I considered any form of lusting after other women a form of infidelity and it was the only reason I would ever divorce him. He said he understood and promised never to betray me in that way. We were able to get him into rehab and he kicked hi s heroin addiction. The next nearly 20 years of our marriage seemed like fairly smooth sailing. After his mom died, he got 2 DUIs in a row. I stuck by his side anyway. Me discovering his porn issue 10 days ago was the final straw. He has always been a sneaky person as well and I have discovered him lying to me several times. When I confronted him about the porn this time, he totally denied it. I told him if he tells me everything and comes clean, maybe our marriage would have a chance. He didn't and he wouldn't take a polygraph to prove his claimed "innocence" either. So deceit and an inability to trust he will tell me the truth are at the core of all this. Hope that makes more sense now. As for the self esteem issue, I have always had great self esteem ( until this happened). If you read the comments of other women who deal with their husband's porn issue, you will find that they share how this makes them feel: like they are not good enough, that they could never compare to the hundreds of women ( and mostly underage girls, yes, statistically, most " women" who do porn are trafficked teenagers). As women, we understand that as we age we become less attractive. Knowing your 48 your old husband is looking at girls that could be his daughter ( or younger) decimated the self esteem of a woman in her 40s. How would you feel if your girl just pretended to be satisfied with you but every chance she got she was looking at hundreds of men online having sex with bigger packages than you, more muscle, younger, taller, etc. to the point where she eventually lost interest in you sexually entirely?
@@exnecross3141 she said "both agreed porn was considered cheating (infidelity)" but husband STILL watched it anyways. She left not so much because of porn, but because he lied to her and broke her trust. Men, why are you so blind ?
@@mariakostiukova4582they choose to be ignorant I think, they aren’t really blind though
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