A Desperate Halloween Message From Clarve The Vampire!
ฝัง
- เผยแพร่เมื่อ 30 ต.ค. 2023
- Happy Halloween! Please get in touch. Clarve is desperate for some blood!
Thank you for all your support! If you'd like to help keep the videos coming, a donation can be made on my Ko-fi page here:
ko-fi.com/nerineskinner
www.nerineskinner.co.uk/ - ตลก
There's a sucker born every minute. 🧛
Which of us doesn't suffer from haemoglobin intolerance! They need to put this information on the back of every product.
I know right!? We need to get this out there and spread awareness! 🤣🤪🥰
Loved this. The concept of a bloated, pregnant vampire deserves a series of novels and at least one major blockbuster.
Angel much?
I'd totally forgotten about that. Thank you for the reminder. (I can't remember the ins and outs of the story, though)@@Cancun771
I totally agree! I could do the alternative Angel series! Very alternative! 🤣🤣🤪🥰
Poor you Clarve. I can sympathise. As a vamp who can only tolerate the blood of guinea pigs and aquatic fowl I too suffered from the old flatulence to extent that I started to uncontrollably float about, propelled by persistent farting, all of which makes latching on to small creatures necks way more tricky than it should be.
Oh no, I’m so sorry you suffer from all of this too, what a tricky life you must lead. Clarve has asked if perhaps you could both set up a group for all of you suffering through such hard times… 🤔🧛♀️🧛♀️😝🥰
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Having such a medical condition must be a nightmare for a vampire,,especially on Halloween, when there's so many victims, errrmmm, I mean treats, walking around.
It really is terrible, which is why I allowed Clarve to use my channel to reach to you all. He is trying to spread awareness. Any help much appreciated 🤣🤪🥰🧛♀️
I do like the sound of a vampire with blood allergies! 😂
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Immortality with your talent.....im game...😊
😝🥰🥰🙌🧛♀️
😂😂😂Morning Clarve👋.
Morning Del 😝you look like you have a nice neck… (sorry from Clarve) 😬🤦♀️🧛♀️🥰
@@nerineskinner 😂
Oh god, those symptoms sound like me every day at the moment. I think I must be a vampire allergic to drinking blood.
Happy Halloween!
Haha well I have to say I based it on my own truth. We’re in it together 🤣🤣🤪
Clarve!!! Yeeessss!!!! Effing love this character!!!
Ah yay! Thank you so much! 🙌🙌🥰
Poor young Clarve - your gnashers won't let you say "sucking blood" properly!! My neck is available!!! Let's enjoy Halloween, with our fave vampire, Nerine!! xx 😆
Haha I know right!? I can’t tell you how messy it was shooting that one 🤣🤣thank you lovely 🥰🥰🧛♀️
Happy Halloween
🧛♀️🤖😨💨
Ah thanks! Hope you had a great one! 🥰🥰
Happy Halloween Clarve! Persistent Propulsion Phenomenon can be dangerous for flight on fright night, be careful out there whilst in the air. Better to snipe the right blood type than fart flee into a tree 🥴
🤣🤣🤣this made me laugh! Clarve survived Halloween but definitely didn’t have the night he wanted… a lot of flatulence 🤦♀️😬
@@nerineskinner Hee! 😂 Boys bum trombone, girls pop awf like a flute
@@jonfarrah 🤣
This was brilliant loved this hahaha😂
Ah thank you so much! 🙌🙌🤗🥰
Very creative, as always, and timely too.
Aww thank you lovely 🥰🤗
That was great, my VERY clever friend. By the way, I am O+, so unsuitable for immortality. And I do grow garlic, I do have quite a lot, in various locations around the house, drying as we converse. I must say that you do have a really great dentist, superb pointy things! They are called canines, aren't they? Not that I'm calling you a dog, even boring, ordinary Humming Beans have canines. Stop digging!
Anyway, I just called to say I'm O+, and you have another successful post for the CV. 🐎 🧛♀🧛♀🧛♀🧛♀🧛♀
Ah thank you as always lovely! Haha that’s such a shame that you are not the chosen one on this occasion. Although Clarve has asked if you’d be interested in a desperate situation? Bloating is worth it for a feed apparently? 😜🥰
@@nerineskinner I can give people injections. But I really don't like the pointy end pointed at me.
@@Demun1649 noted. We will find another way…. 😎😜🤔
@@nerineskinner ♥♥♥
Clarve, you've risen!!! 💓
I apologise for calling you Clive previously, I think I'm just not used to your Transylvanian accent 🦇
I'd be more than happy to offer my neck and iron as I've the golden blood type...
Unfortunately though I've been running on empty for the last 13 years, or so having been ravished by other far less pleasant members of the undead community 🥴
Wishing you luck in your search for a throat to suck 🤠💜
Clarve says you are forgiven on this occasion. However he is rather offended that you let someone else suck your neck. But is willing to let it go and is up for finding you when you refill. So watch out! 🧛♀️ 😝🥰
@@nerineskinner Phew! Clarve truly has a generous soul, if no reflection 😊
I'll leave a landing light on, so he can see to alight and give me a fright, in the dead of night! 🦇🤠❣️
@@LimeyRedneck 🤣🤣thank you, that’s very considerate! 🙌🥰
Poor Clarve. It could be worse. You could have had an encounter with Liv Struss!!
Then Clarve would be have stinking bishop and pork flatulence.
it could happen.
🤣🤣🤣so true!
Janet Street-Porter as a vampire, Nerine.
well spotted.
So true 🤣🤣🤔
If Esther Rantzen was a Vampire....lol
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A vampire with blood allergies 😂. Bit of a Hannibal Lectur going on there too 😮😂
🤣🤣oh gosh you’re so right about Hannibal there! 🤣🥰
@@nerineskinner p.s. so sorry I missed your gig at Manchester, ahh well another time I hope 😁
@@stevenbrindley2469 no worries at all lovely! I’ll keep you updated! Leicester in Feb.. may be some more coming up 🥰
If Olivia Colman was a vampire.
🤣🤣love this!
Brilliant! More Clarve please, happy halloween.
Ah thank you! I’m so glad you like Clarve! 🥰🤗
Keep them coming.
Ah thank you 🥰🥰
Love Clarve my fave non political character - Happy Halloween
Ah yay thank you! Happy Halloween to you! 🥰🥰
@@nerineskinner😱
Happy halloween Nerine ; )
Ah thank you! I hope you had a great one! 🥰🤗
Fangtastic!!! You're a bite of alright. How did you get hold of Janet Street Porters teeth?
Ah thanks! Haha you’re not the first person who has said that to me! 🤣🤣
😂😂😂 love the name! One of my alternative names is Clarty! Almost the same! And I have allergies and antibodies to my own muscles!
Oh really!? What a coincidence! I must have felt connected to you when I wrote this! This one’s for you 🤗🥰
Happy Halloween, Nerine!! Or is it Clarve?? Anyhoo, she's bound to put the willies up someone today!!...... OOOOOH MATRON!!😮😮😮😮
🤣🤣this just made me laugh a lot! I hope you had a great one! And no willies were put anywhere unfortunately… Clarve failed! 🤣
@@nerineskinner 🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣
Bite me…happy Halloween Clarve 👻🎃
Haha! Don’t joke about these things… Clarve will happily bite! 🤪🤣🤪
@@nerineskinner 😂👍
Aww so good to see Clarve again!
I could just imagine the looks on the kids & parents faces when they came to her castle door & after giving them sweets, she’d then politely enquire what blood group they belonged to😂🧛♀️🩸
I hope she had a great Halloween 🎃& that it didn’t suck🤦♂️I know, I know, I just couldn’t help it lol
I’ve been so busy, I’m only just catching up to these now!! please forgive me!!
Delicious Nerine, thank you.
Aww thank you lovely 🥰 🥰🤗
Will there be a sequel to this? I only ask because Peter Cushing has been seen clutching a crucifix and a stake running up and down our lane shouting obscenities.
🤣🤣 just seen this! 😜🥰
Wonderful, wonderful gnashers, Nerine. Did you go private, or they on the NHS.
PS elocution lessons will reduce the impediment if you work at it.
NHS. It was a long waitlist but totally worth it! Haha thanks for the tip! 🤣🤪🥰
Very scary, Clarve 🧛♀️💩🩸💨🦨💀, try Nerine Skinner, she’s a famous comedian on t’internet & TV 🙌👩🏼♥️♥️♥️♥️♥️♥️♥️♥️♥️♥️♥️♥️
Clarve sucked the life out of her ages ago 🤣🤣🤪🥰
Bite me! 😂
People who cohabit with frogs in a box shaped dwelling consider this lady to be utterly nuts.
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I’ve got Golden Blood. Happy to donate if it keeps the skunk-in-ar$e flatulence down to a minimum. As you say, no one wants to be around that. 😂😂😂
Clarve is very happy to make this happen & says he’s coming to find you. Hope you don’t regret it!? 🤣🤪🥰
Blood intolerances for vampires to avoid will include those who have had the jab.
big cheese for you.
Yay! Thank you! 🥰🥰
Your face looks familiar. Did you do cheese adverts on the telly?
That is a disgrace! 😜🤣🥰
Eh what now? I thought she ran out into the sunlight and burned up that one time?!
Clarve weirdly came back… it’s all very strange. Something odd is happening. A bit like politicians really… they always come back! 🤣🤣😝🥰
🤔...not quite on par with the Liv Struss or even Navine Borrie skits, but it is good to diversify one's craft. Kudos. 👍
Just playing around. 🤪Have had zero time and wanted to do something a bit silly & other 🥰👻
@@nerineskinner🤯🤯🤯
I wondered what happened to Esther Rantzen...
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@@nerineskinner 😮😮😮😮😮😮😮😮😮
@@nerineskinner everyone on cornwall is cutting down speed cameras 😱😱😱😱🫣 what have i started??!!! 😳 Luckily bentcop not getting the blame for it. 🚨👮🏻🚨👮🏻🚨👮🏻🚨
Sadly, I have only a common blood type, which would be like "table wine" to your lot. Or "pizza wine", as some here call it - basically just plonk. That said, my blood is occasionally infused with lager, hints of tobacco (and lager), with faint notes of nostalgia, sad longing, and lager. But consider the benefits... it is still here an [almost] even proposition that "appearing pregnant" could mean someone gives you their seat on the bus ! As to flatulence, well, I've heard your kind don't mind the cold, so we could just crack a window - and I'm no "prize", rumour has it I snore (especially after lager - or down a pint of the other, I'd guess). Not at all sure you were even seeking "recruits", but jic - give it a thought - I offer a poor diet, cold weather, dodgy chance of bus seating... and who would ever suspect a Canadian vampire? Normally you'd have to go to Scotland for all those advantages...
Cheers
After much consideration I think you for all the credentials and are a perfect match! Clarve thinks it is meant to be. How do we make this happen!? 🤣🤪🥰
@@nerineskinner The kindness of your reply - and a new video this week ! - has already made it happen for me. But if you're serious (about coming to Canada to drink my blood), I think Spike Milligan said it best:
"Let me take you away from the squalor you live in - to come HERE, to the squalor I live in !!"
@@jferguson8127 haha! 🤣🤣I love this! I just would love to come out to Canada. If I get out there, I’ll let you know. Clarve will be there immediately regardless of squalor! 🤪🤣🥰
@@nerineskinner Ah, well, here it gets tricky - I live in a city called London, bit south of the river Thames... but it's London, Ontario. Does Clarve have Google maps? It's north of Cleveland, about halfway between Detroit & Buffalo... I'll take an iron supplement while I wait. Cheers
@@jferguson8127 Clarve hasn’t got storage for google maps, or a phone atm. But I’ll sort one out and he should be over in no time/ a few months. Keep ironed up and be ready! 🤣🤣🤪
Poor Andrew Lloyd Webber...