White Oleander (2002): Toxic Beauty and Narcissistic Mothers
ฝัง
- เผยแพร่เมื่อ 3 มิ.ย. 2024
- Just something about one of my favourite books and adaptations - ‘White Oleander’, a story about a young girl named Astrid (played by Alison Lohman) and her mother Ingrid (played by amazing Michelle Pfeiffer). The novel is written by Janet Fitch.
Timestamps:
0:00 - Intro
0:56 - Content Warning! + Ingrid: A Narcissistic Mother
4:43 - Starr: A Histrionic Mother
10:35 - Toxic Beauty / The Double-Edged Sword of Beauty
16:28 - Claire: A Depressed Mother
20:06 - Rena: A Dismissive Mother - ภาพยนตร์และแอนิเมชัน
“Some women aren’t meant to be mothers in the first place” you hit the nail on the head.
Not just mothers, but fathers and parents too.
Yeah, me for instance. That's why I decided to never have them 🤷
Seems like nobody in that movie was meant to be a parent.
💯
That’s not true I think people just need to heal and stop repeating the same things over and over
Michelle Pfeiffer’s performance was an entire force. Fierce. The palpable disdain she has for Claire, when Ingrid says her foster mother has “a thousand words for tears”. How she cared more about her possession of Astrid than Astrid’s well being. Whew.
actually, Ingrid did care a lot. Claire and her husband wanted to use Astrid as a crutch for their own problems, and Ingrid immediately saw through that. She comes across as cold, harsh and distant, but ultimately, she was right- and not just in this case, if you consider the "Jesus"-foster mother tried to murder Astrid, and the last foster mother didn't see anything wrong with Astrid starting smoking, drinking and doing drugs.
@@AzuraTarot Excellent points, but ultimately Ingrid put Astrid in this position in the first place. with her selfishness at killing Barry. As a mother, there have been times where emotionally I was angry enough to catch a case, but what about my child? Where would she end up?
At the point she was with Claire, she had food, clothing, and some stability. Her immediate needs were being cared for. Could Ingrid have helped her navigate her life there without blowing up her spot? Until she gained the ability to be more independent?
Granted, Claire was already a ticking time bomb…when Ingrid said she had “a thousand words for tears.”
There was something in Ingrid that cared about Astrid, but ultimately her own ego would always win out.
I love discussing this movie and book.
* im not sure anyone else could have played this role so well. always impressed with this women ♥...
This book (and to a lesser extent the movie) has been my absolute favorite since I was a teenager. No other piece of media has so accurately described for me the complex feelings of having a narcissistic parent. This was the first piece of media that spoke honestly to me about those feelings even before I could really put those feelings into words
Same here. It is still one of my favorite books since I read it in 2002
@@silverscreamqueen i agree. Someone soft and self assured would be great for an audio book.
Same. My original is a mess but I still reread it every couple of months
I read the book a few times. I wish they wouldn’t have taken out some parts from the book.
@@silverscreamqueen reflecting on the book from a more mature age, wasn’t Olivia kind of a creep in the book? She was cool but she ultimately kind of took advantage of Astrid like other people didn’t she? Didn’t she kiss her on the lips while they danced together?
One thing I notice about Narc mothers is that they never ask you questions about yourself. They lie about you and give you a life that doesn't interest you at all. It is hard to explain.
This hit hard since I experienced this recently
@@brioje23 Sorry to hear that. Unfortunately they seem universal. Use it to motivate you. Belive me it works.
HAVE YOU EVER GOT THAT RIGHT.
I grew up with two narcissistic people, my mother and grandmother they cared nothing for the things I loved or anyone but themselves really..
oof yeah. mine wanted me to be working all the time so I could give her my money and all we talked about was work, not her work but mine.
It always freaked me out that they changed uncle Ray in the movie to be "hot". It feels worse like they wanted to make pedos look hot. When I finally read the book I was so shocked at how different he is from the source material
The book is the source material.
I was expecting something different, and I'm sure it's different in the book, but he's not hot at ALL
How was he described in the book?
@@michaelscott528i believe he was described as a fat older man.
The United States uses military resources meant to keep us safe to spy on, torture, groom, and harass victims of pedophilic abuse.
Victims are groomed and forcibly shown deviant sexual content at ages as young as 6 years old. They hack the household devices, including hijacking the television while a child is up and alone. They are forcibly shown deviant content involving animals or disgusting acts that would be illegal for an adult. They target victims this young because this is the age that fetishes are developed and children this young are not capable of understanding what they are seeing is not normal. They are intentionally grooming defenseless children into deviant sexualities. This is also a way to shame victims into silence, they think the more deviant and depraved they are with children, they will be less likely to speak out about what happened to them out of shame.
In person they will encourage children below puberty to engage in deviant sexual acts and try to convince them this is normal behavior. Both children and adults are molested and raped through the use of substances that render them unconscious and the only reason a victim might know that something has occurred is because they leave body fluids in or around the victim.
When the victims get older there is use of an advanced AI that alters content that they see by inserting references and imagery that would seem normal to other people but has special meaning to the torture victim. This will be repeated again and again indefinitely.
This is both for the purposes of psychological torture and to provoke violence
Some people are being intentionally tortured throughout their entire lives, they may target them because they think they are easy prey or maybe they were just attracted to that particular child.
They use innocuous symbols because there is plausible deniability . A victim that was deviantly groomed by pedophiles is repeatedly shown something related to their exploitation. Like a rapist that rapes a woman with a common object for the purposes of torture. They want the victim to relive the trauma as much as possible. The use of weaponized AI would manipulate algorithms to show them what the torturers wanted them to see. The AI would do the grunt work of content modification and categorization.
It honestly makes me wonder if the author herself has a narcissistic mother herself since she knows exactly how to write one accurately 😮
i think it only makes sense that she did. there's no other way she'd be able to understand the dynamic as intimately and accurately as she did. i cherish this film purely because it makes me feel less alone in that experience.
On the other hand, she could have had her own experience with narcissistic parents of her own.
i read another of her books where the main character is dealing with the loss her boyfriend. as time passes and she has to deal with her boy friend's own narc mother and does her best to keep her head above water it really made think....damn janet fitch HAS BEEN THRU SOME SHIT
I think the only not accurate thing is to believe that all daughters of narcissist are also narcissists.
Many times is the total opposite.
My mother had a terribly narcissistic mother..
She did mot really grew up with her as she left her as a baby ( she grew up kind of with single father) but they had contact sometimes and it seems it was truly terrible.
Yet I can assure you my mother is one of the sweetest most emphatic people I ever met, and I am not the only one to say that.
Of course I can see wounds in her, she sometimes doesnt know how to defend herself how to say no, things like that, but she is the oposite of a narcisist.
I also worked as a babysitter of 2 girls. The mother was not a monster or anything like that but indeed had a lot if narcissistic traits , and did not treat them very well.
One of the sisters was like the mother or worse 😅 I loved her because she was a kid but I could see she would grow up to be a very difficult person.
The other sister was a hugely emphatic absolute sweetheart.
Sometimes the reaction to abuse is to become the oposite of your abuser.
Some people learn from the pain and it polish them into an amazing human being. That is what happened to my own mother, who had a terrible mother.
I don't think its realistic to say that people are simply like their parents and thats it.
In many many cases that is not true.
Otherwise siblings would all be like clones right?
And I am sure you met many siblings who are day and night
@@thinkforyourself518she said 'has a narc mother' not that she was one
Wow, I cannot imagine trying to control and mould my daughter. Her own personality and character was an amazing thing to me and I loved to watch in awe as she developed.
It climaxed last year when she got married. She decided she wanted to make a speech to her new husband. It blew my mind to hear her and realise she had far surpassed me in so many ways. Listening as she described their relationship and love made me realise she was literally better than me - I’ve never been more proud
That's beautiful. I'm happy for both of you. I wish I had a mother like you.
@@chatnoir9038 you deserved a good mum. Given a chance, every child is incredible. If your mum couldn’t see that it was because of her blindness, not anything lacking in you. It makes me feel so angry thinking of a parent making their child feel somehow less or at fault or simply bad. You weren’t. I know that because no child is. But a parent’s treatment or neglect can bring out the anger, insecurities, impulsiveness etc that’s in all of us, then they blame the child for having a natural reaction.
It also shocks me, but what you need to understand is that a narcissistic mom feels incomplete, low without their victim. They need that control, as a seven year old my mom make sure that I have no friends, any thing I show interest in was considered worthless, the realization that my own mother hated me that much, make me want to attempt my own demise at that age, I hope nobody gets to experience the inmense pain that I will never be able to overcome
@@SieMiezekatze oh my gosh, I’m so sorry. Do you think she hated you? Or was it that she just placed her own needs so much at the forefront that what you wanted didn’t even register? Whichever the case, I hope you’ve had help with it. It’s one of those widely accepted truisms that your mum has to love you and think you’re great and that you must be a terrible person if she doesn’t. Unfortunately it doesn’t necessarily play out in real life and what I now know, with the benefit of great age, that what people think of you says nothing about you and everything about them.
Every child is amazing and is exactly the person she should be and a parents only jobs should be keep them alive and don’t screw that perfect person up any more than they can help (obviously we all screw you up to some extent!)
@@clareshaughnessy2745 i appreciate your comment and concern, and yes screaming how she hates me and how her life has been ruined because of my birth, are her normal words, she claims I do not have the right to have free will since she birth me, and I am the one at fault of everything wrong, all good things are her doing and all bad things are my own . For me is not about age I know hurting others and going out of my way to cause harm is vicious, I do not need age to know how miserable that attitude makes you. Have a good day
I haven’t read the book but in the movie I never saw any of Ingrid’s naysaying about the foster families as an attempt to protect her. She is pushing Astrid to stay detached so that she herself cannot be replaced in Astrid’s heart. Most women in prison lose their children’s love over time and may never get it back and that is the normal course of events. Kids have a right to withdraw from an absent parent.
Get the book, dude, trust me. The movie contains less than half of what was in it. She basically convinced Claire Richards (Renee Zellwegers' character) to commit su*cide. She makes fun of Olivia Johnstone because she taught Astrid about how much power a woman can have by using her se*uality. She actually liked it when Astrid was living with Marvel Turlock, because Marvel was treating her like sh*t. I highly recommend it. 👍 In my (unprofessional) opinion, Ingrid actually wanted Astrid to be unhappy, because it gave her some measure of control over her. (I actually have a narcissistic Mother myself, so I can recognize it in others easily.)
@@Hollyucinogen Having read the book and watched the movie repeatedly this is absolutely what I felt the author wanted the reader and viewer to take away. Ingrid exposes and obliterates any attempt Astrid has at making any safe space for herself outside of her mother. That is intentional!
The book is fantastic and 100% worth reading, please read it.
I think this video is very forgiving to Ingrid. Actually if a person had a normal or at least not narcissistic mother it is very hard for them to understand what it really is and how a narcissist thinks. People mostly use some kind of explanations like "she was protecting", "she loved her daughter in her own way". Although if Ingrid really wanted to protect her daughter she wouldn't push Clair to suicide, because her daughter would have a much better life with Claire. Also I think the scenario gives us this consolation like "I know my mother loves me" in the end, although it is clear that Ingrid could have made her decision not from love but from million other motives. Like she would think that much more will be gained if she stayed connected to her daughter, or she just found the other way to get out of the prison (which she actually did). So why Astrid thinks it was love beats me and it seemed unconvincing when I watched the film in my youth.
@@yanan4249 it just hit me reading your (very right) response, what if Astrid saying that at the end is her trying to convince herself? That works to put a more fitting spin on it for me.
"Some women aren't fit to be mothers to begin with" - that is profound and what the society needs to understand. Some men aren't made to be fathers either. People show have the right to decide whether or not to be a mother or a father. That takes us to some fundamental rights like protected sex...women should have the power to tell when they want to get pregnant and with whom.
exactly. when that right to family planning is lost, the world becomes full of more and more narcissistic mothers and traumatized children
They have the power?
OTHERWISE IT'S THE KIDS WHO SUFFER.
Absolutely! And even more than that, society (and religions in particular) needs to stop telling women we are put on earth to bear children and that is our main reason for existence. We are not incubators or cattle to be bred. And we demand control over our own bodies!!
Many women who shouldn't be mothers still willingly get kids for instrumetal reasons. Hey, just like every foster mother in the film! Feelings always come secondary...
“To be my mothers daughter again was more seductive than any man..” smh so true… I haven’t spoken to mine in 9 years. She is Ingrid, even beautiful. God save us from our parents ❤
My mom is a narcissist, and I saw sooo many things in Ingrid that mirrored her exactly. When I was born, my mom sent me off to my grandparents so they could deal with a fussy newborn. She brought me back home a month later. After that, she was not concerned with my values or what made me me and at age 32, I am just now able to express myself in a real way.
I'm sorry for going through this, I hope one day you'll be okay even though it's só hard
@@priscillad8 that's very kind and I appreciate that ❤️
The United States uses military resources meant to keep us safe to spy on, torture, groom, and harass victims of pedophilic abuse.
Victims are groomed and forcibly shown deviant sexual content at ages as young as 6 years old. They hack the household devices, including hijacking the television while a child is up and alone. They are forcibly shown deviant content involving animals or disgusting acts that would be illegal for an adult. They target victims this young because this is the age that fetishes are developed and children this young are not capable of understanding what they are seeing is not normal. They are intentionally grooming defenseless children into deviant sexualities. This is also a way to shame victims into silence, they think the more deviant and depraved they are with children, they will be less likely to speak out about what happened to them out of shame.
In person they will encourage children below puberty to engage in deviant sexual acts and try to convince them this is normal behavior. Both children and adults are molested and raped through the use of substances that render them unconscious and the only reason a victim might know that something has occurred is because they leave body fluids in or around the victim.
When the victims get older there is use of an advanced AI that alters content that they see by inserting references and imagery that would seem normal to other people but has special meaning to the torture victim. This will be repeated again and again indefinitely.
This is both for the purposes of psychological torture and to provoke violence
Some people are being intentionally tortured throughout their entire lives, they may target them because they think they are easy prey or maybe they were just attracted to that particular child.
They use innocuous symbols because there is plausible deniability . A victim that was deviantly groomed by pedophiles is repeatedly shown something related to their exploitation. Like a rapist that rapes a woman with a common object for the purposes of torture. They want the victim to relive the trauma as much as possible. The use of weaponized AI would manipulate algorithms to show them what the torturers wanted them to see. The AI would do the grunt work of content modification and categorization.
My "Mother" is also a narcissist, and I can see a lot of parallels between Ingrid and her. I've always known that she was a narcissist, though, since I was about 10 (before I even knew what the word meant); so I never went through the same process of having to let her go and grieving the loss the way that Astrid did.
My favorite book throughout my teen years. I never realized why it resonated with me until I went no contact with my own mother years ago.
I also had the same realization while watching this video.
Good for you ❤ you made the right decision
Same here, I used books to escape a lot of what I was feeling and only with hindsight I'm realizing my favorites were very telling. I read it first when I was 11 and related so much to Astrid but I wouldn't have been able to tell you why necessarily. I also went no contact last October, oddly enough reading I'm Glad My Mom Died by Jenette McCurdy was a catalyst for the decision. Anyone who makes the decision to cut off a parent my heart is with you, sometimes YOU have to come first (a difficult concept when being raised by a narcissist teaches you the opposite).
@autumn2793 Her narcissism didn't fully occur to me until after I had my 3 kids. She always needed my presence, my constant validation, and to berate and criticize my character and parenting in the same breath. That duality of love and hate with the person who raised you is a clusterfuck and I knew that wasn't the dynamic I wanted with my own children. It takes a lot of therapy and reparenting yourself to fully rid yourself of the toxicity clouding you. It is a very hard decision to make; an isolating one that is dismissed by so many. A decision I will never regret. My heart is fully out to you. Cheers to breaking generational cycles.
I had a very similar experience. When I first encountered White Oleander, something about it captivated me. At the time, I was still just a kid, and very much in my mother’s grip. As I’ve gotten older, I started to realize why it was one of my favorites.
white oleander is such an underrated masterpiece!
The United States uses military resources meant to keep us safe to spy on, torture, groom, and harass victims of pedophilic abuse.
Victims are groomed and forcibly shown deviant sexual content at ages as young as 6 years old. They hack the household devices, including hijacking the television while a child is up and alone. They are forcibly shown deviant content involving animals or disgusting acts that would be illegal for an adult. They target victims this young because this is the age that fetishes are developed and children this young are not capable of understanding what they are seeing is not normal. They are intentionally grooming defenseless children into deviant sexualities. This is also a way to shame victims into silence, they think the more deviant and depraved they are with children, they will be less likely to speak out about what happened to them out of shame.
In person they will encourage children below puberty to engage in deviant sexual acts and try to convince them this is normal behavior. Both children and adults are molested and raped through the use of substances that render them unconscious and the only reason a victim might know that something has occurred is because they leave body fluids in or around the victim.
When the victims get older there is use of an advanced AI that alters content that they see by inserting references and imagery that would seem normal to other people but has special meaning to the torture victim. This will be repeated again and again indefinitely.
This is both for the purposes of psychological torture and to provoke violence
Some people are being intentionally tortured throughout their entire lives, they may target them because they think they are easy prey or maybe they were just attracted to that particular child.
They use innocuous symbols because there is plausible deniability . A victim that was deviantly groomed by pedophiles is repeatedly shown something related to their exploitation. Like a rapist that rapes a woman with a common object for the purposes of torture. They want the victim to relive the trauma as much as possible. The use of weaponized AI would manipulate algorithms to show them what the torturers wanted them to see. The AI would do the grunt work of content modification and categorization.
I've lost count of how many times I've watched the movie. Having a narcissistic mother myself, it resonated with me on a very deep level. I had no idea that it was actually based on a book. I will have to check it out.
First of all: I have a narcissistic mother, too. Secondly: dude, read the book, trust me. You'll like it. ❤️
White Oleander was such an amazing treasure of a movie! It hit emotionally for me on so many levels but not much of it was personal but it didn’t matter. The characters are so visceral and have such depth it was easy to feel every emotion displayed by them as if they were my own stories. The book, no doubt, is a multifaceted masterpiece, I absolutely have to read! Thank you for this video 😊 It was beautifully articulated.
The book is soo good. Depressing of course, but beautifully written
Oh you simply MUST
I'm traveling next week and will spend a lot of time waiting so I downloaded it to my iPad to read then. I already peeked a little at the first pages and I'm really looking forward to reading the whole thing. It seems to be really well-written. Even something a picky and easily bored reader like myself could really get into.
Motherhood is soo deep in a bottomless kinda way. It makes me question myself as a woman all the time as I try & understand layers to my mother as each day. Amazing video as always!! 💟💜
It's the most difficult job in the world I swear.
All you need are a few bad decisions during a kid's formative years and you might have a sociopath out and about in society around a couple of decades later. 😅
People don't realize that, the idea that "things will work out once you have the baby" is catastrophically wrong. Because yes, they may not remember but their brains will have been wired a certain way that might be ... Awful.
@@samf.s.7731 Couldn't agree more.
I agree! My mom is a young mother to be mine. When I was growing up as her oldest we pushed and pulled at each other emotionally since she had left a less-than ideal home, married my dad, and then had me. Money was forever tight and I did grow up keenly aware of that.
As a mom myself now-for years, so I’m older now than when she became a grandparent with my daughter being born-I appreciate what she had to push back against. She chose my dad vs a man like her dad (thank goodness). She struggled with a lot and that was hard to watch growing up, but I “get” it now. She did what she had to and when I needed support she was there to the degree that she was able to be.
What we as mothers can’t do but wish we could is make us as women be everything our children need. I have 3 very different kids, all impacted by the stillbirth of my first-born…because that impacted me and my future with them before they even got here. My running joke from that and the truly difficult births I had each time is “you all need to get along-I worked too hard to have you all to have you stay mad!”
The one thing I have made certain not to do is to expect them to let me carve them how I would wish them to be. They aren’t blocks of ice or stumps of wood for me to alter “in my image”. I really despise when some mothers do that. Let them be *them*.
@@pinlight97 I am so sorry for your loss. You sound like a wonderful woman. 💜
Thats why it frightens me to be one I just turned 27 years old and I still dont know if I want kids. I dont think I have the mental and emotional capacity for it. My relationship with my mother is complicated in so many ways like any daughters do with mommy issues. Growing up she was emotionally dismissive and was too busy earning money as a single mother. She had me at 23 through an affair with my father. He was absent even on his death and I never met him. So my mother's presence is all i know. Her constant criticisms of my appearance, career, weight and her troubled relationship with men is the driving force of my various personal issues that im struggling with right now. Its insane how a parent can truly mess you up by bringing you into this world
I've always loved the melancholic atmosphere of the whole movie.
Very moving coming of age story and easily one of the best performance of Michelle Pfeiffer and Alison Lohman was such a revelation I miss her acting in movies.
Wow this is deep. I have a narcissistic mother myself although my mom is more of a raging narcissist who will flip out at the slightest criticism. She doesn’t use manipulation she uses fear to control
Using fear to control others is a manipulaton tactic
@@zuzannakielar you are right. I am 36 and I still feel afraid to confront my mom because she starts yelling at the top of her voice.
@shivalishankersharma1562 Yes, that is manipulation. Depending on her personality, she may not be aware she is doing it. On the other hand, she might be aware, and even enjoying it. Either way, you can use the 'gray rock method' and refuse to show an emotional response when she starts up her act. It won't change her but over time it keeps you from getting sucked in, or egging her on . . . Narc abuse recovery tips 👍
I think the only not accurate thing is to believe that all daughters of narcissist are also narcissists.
Many times is the total opposite.
My mother had a terribly narcissistic mother..
She did mot really grew up with her as she left her as a baby ( she grew up kind of with single father) but they had contact sometimes and it seems it was truly terrible.
Yet I can assure you my mother is one of the sweetest most emphatic people I ever met, and I am not the only one to say that.
Of course I can see wounds in her, she sometimes doesnt know how to defend herself how to say no, things like that, but she is the oposite of a narcisist.
I also worked as a babysitter of 2 girls. The mother was not a monster or anything like that but indeed had a lot if narcissistic traits , and did not treat them very well.
One of the sisters was like the mother or worse 😅 I loved her because she was a kid but I could see she would grow up to be a very difficult person.
The other sister was a hugely emphatic absolute sweetheart.
Sometimes the reaction to abuse is to become the oposite of your abuser.
Some people learn from the pain and it polish them into an amazing human being. That is what happened to my own mother, who had a terrible mother.
I don't think its realistic to say that people are simply like their parents and thats it.
In many many cases that is not true.
Otherwise siblings would all be like clones right?
And I am sure you met many siblings who are day and night
@@shivalishankersharma1562Does she ever threatening you by calling the police on you and trying to put you in jail, such as self-defense, arguing, criticize her, standing up for yourself or stopping her? I know my toxic, narcissistic and mentally ill Mexican mom did that to me about 5 times and she never feel sorry nor admitted she was wrong, also, she does have daddy issues and acting like edgy 10 year old 5th grade version of me.
My mom is a narcissist. After our dad died unexpectedly at 36 years old, we had no one to buffer our relationship with my mom. Our adolescent years were a nightmare. Now that I'm older, been diagnosed with autism and learned more about psychology, I understand my mom is a narcissist and possibly bipolar. This has helped me learn how to socialize with her without getting hurt by her antics. It's not hopeless, but it's not a ever a typical mom/ daughter relationship.
Ingrid has haunted and mesmerized me since I first saw the film and read the book in 2005. I feel Astrid's paradoxical worship of and fear of Ingrid.
how did she mesmerize you?
@@SiameseCats4ever The same way she did Astrid. The allusion to the title: A beautiful but deadly person. Her autonomy and confidence and physical beauty are mesmerizing but probe deeper and you see she's dangerous.
For anyone watching this video: read the book, trust me. It's extremely good. There were a lot of things that were in the book that weren't in the movie (i.e. Olivia Johnstone). I've never read another book like it.
Edit: generally, books are better than movies, in my opinion (examples: The Neverending Story, Memoirs Of A Geisha, The Hunger Games, Harry Potter)
The writing style always stuck with me. I think about imagery from that book A LOT.
Yes it was well written
Yeah and from my perspective the book it's even sad and "brutal" idk I really felt so bad for astrid's life
Agreed, I read this book as a teenager and once or twice since (but many years since) and it sticks with me. The way it was written was just so beautiful and the story was so memorable. Now that this video has reminded me of it, I’m going to have to re read it soon!
Olivia wasn't in the movie and that upsets me.
I absolutely love this movie. It's one of my go to rewatch films. Right there with Pride & Prejudice, Girl Interrupted and Thirteen
First of all: those are some of my favorite movies, too. Secondly: read the book if you like the movie, trust me. ❤️
Thirteen! Yes! This was the film I was thinking of and getting confused with White Oleander. I think it's because I watched them both at around the same time, years ago, and that combined with some of the themes in each meant that I'd sort of fused the two together in my mind, into being the same film. Thanks for reminding me.
@@bad-girlbex3791 Oh, don't worry. I confuse Thirteen with White Oleander all the time. 🤣
Omg ditto!!!
Same!
I’ve always loved this book. Never understood why. only until I got older I realized how much Astrid resonated with me with having a narcissistic mother and how persons perceived my own beauty and how it could be weaponized or utilized by others for their own benefit.
the girl who plays t he daughter is just so beautiful.
@nunu_7887I just read that she’s retired whaaat; makes sense why I haven’t seen her in anything
@@moonwort333interesting! I wondered by is she not in more movies! She may have gotten feed up with Hollywood
She is retired, but acts occasionally. She now is a mother of 3 and works online giving acting lessons. Alison Lohman is her name. She's done alot of great movies in the early 2000s. Drag me to hell, matchsticks men, Big Fish, and where the truth lies are some of her other gem films.
I rewatched this recently and cannot remember the book, read it 20 years ago.
I just love the part where she confronts her mother about who's the girl that she keeps sketching. She realizes that her mom actually resents her, her mom had her assuming this would keep the guy she loved. And since it pushed him away, she blames Astrid.
But Ingrid goes too far, she is jealous of Claire and basically kills another person. And she even made it out to be a favour to Astrid, because Claire was weak and she needed Astrid to be strong. It's like the parents who beat their kids to toughen them up.
i think this movie has one of my fav original soundtracks of all time. it really perfectly captures the lonely, melancholic feeling of the story
Yes! I never hear anyone talk about the soundtrack. It makes the movie, in my opinion.
This book (and by extension, the movie) is one of the many "troubling" books that I've read as an adult and has lived rent-free in my head. Along with Lolita, The Secret History, The Virgin Suicides, and The Color Purple.
why would u read about pedophiles
If you want a book that will make you physically sick but is really good because of it, I’d recommend “My Dark Vanessa”. It’s the best depiction of a teacher grooming a student I’ve ever read, from the perspective of a student.
@@KazKindred613 I'll be on the look out for it after the holidays! Thank you for the rec!
im actually so beyond happy that this video exists the book and the film mean so much to me, the story is so unique and beautiful! more people need to talk about it for sure!
The United States uses military resources meant to keep us safe to spy on, torture, groom, and harass victims of pedophilic abuse.
Victims are groomed and forcibly shown deviant sexual content at ages as young as 6 years old. They hack the household devices, including hijacking the television while a child is up and alone. They are forcibly shown deviant content involving animals or disgusting acts that would be illegal for an adult. They target victims this young because this is the age that fetishes are developed and children this young are not capable of understanding what they are seeing is not normal. They are intentionally grooming defenseless children into deviant sexualities. This is also a way to shame victims into silence, they think the more deviant and depraved they are with children, they will be less likely to speak out about what happened to them out of shame.
In person they will encourage children below puberty to engage in deviant sexual acts and try to convince them this is normal behavior. Both children and adults are molested and raped through the use of substances that render them unconscious and the only reason a victim might know that something has occurred is because they leave body fluids in or around the victim.
When the victims get older there is use of an advanced AI that alters content that they see by inserting references and imagery that would seem normal to other people but has special meaning to the torture victim. This will be repeated again and again indefinitely.
This is both for the purposes of psychological torture and to provoke violence
Some people are being intentionally tortured throughout their entire lives, they may target them because they think they are easy prey or maybe they were just attracted to that particular child.
They use innocuous symbols because there is plausible deniability . A victim that was deviantly groomed by pedophiles is repeatedly shown something related to their exploitation. Like a rapist that rapes a woman with a common object for the purposes of torture. They want the victim to relive the trauma as much as possible. The use of weaponized AI would manipulate algorithms to show them what the torturers wanted them to see. The AI would do the grunt work of content modification and categorization.
I connected with this film, my mother had a habit of cutting my conversations short or acting snarky whenever I mentioned getting attention from someone, like if I got a gift, or compliment. Almost like she was jealous, which she shouldn't have been considering how her life was.
I have the same experiences, she ignores me and want everyone to ignore me as well.
No she couldn’t let you be happy if it was from someone other than her. She needed you to be dependent on her and to know that your mother is better than anyone in the entire life. And that sentence at the end you said is confusion which is exactly how she wants you to be to always be questioning your own sanity and her character.
Ugh your videos are always so interesting. I would love to hear you cover Sharp Objects, a fantastic book and show with so many intricate concepts weaving together.
Omg SAME i commented that on another of her videos!!!
@@gillybeano Aww great minds! Maybe one day!
Yes!!!! I completely agree!
@@gillybeano I thought the same thing as I was watching this!
Yes! That would be fantastic
I wish they made this into a single season TV show, would have loved to see all the other characters they left out from the book
This is such a powerful film. Michelle Pfeiffer's character is so absolutely absorbed in Petty vengeance and feelings of self-justification that she forgets about her own daughter and seeks to sabotage her.
Dude, read the book, trust me. The movie contains less than half of what the book does.
@@Hollyucinogen so it’s more than petty vengeance? The woman seems crazy to me.
@@Random_Wierdo. If you're talking about Ingrid, I believe that she has N*rcissistic Personality Disorder, and can't stand the idea of Astrid moving on from her; so she attempts to do everything that she can to sabotage her. At some point, Astrid realizes this and tries to cut off all contact (which she does, eventually).
@@Hollyucinogen You are so right! It's my absolute favorite book, so beautiful written.
@@Random_Wierdo. She's still petty and vengeful, but the book is just so much better.
This was a well thought out analysis of the movie. I loved this movie and felt so much compassion for Astrid. I always thought to myself “ why were non of these men held accountable for sleeping with such a young child?” I never saw her has the problem it was the men who took advantage of her. They knew better and took her fragile predicament as an excuse to do what they wanted with no consequences. I feel blessed that my grandparents raised me and that I only got a taste of my biological mothers narcissistic ways. I would have become a completely different person if I did not have the stability that was needed in such formative years.
I relate so much to this, my grandparents did the majority of raising me as well and it took me a long time to realize that although my mother is a narcissist and caused me a lot of pain, my emotional needs were always met by my grandmother, along with stability, and she always had the most influence over me and I would not have grown to become a good person without her. I’m afraid of who I would’ve become without my grandmother. Funnily enough, White Oleander and Mommie Dearest were favorite movies that I always watched with my mom growing up, can’t say my mother didn’t prepare me for growing up with a gorgeous but toxic mother by introducing me to these films lol
I saw the movie first so the book ending jarred me and made me very sad. As someone with my own trauma journey it kind of left me feeling hopeless. When I was young I bought into the happy ending at the end of the tunnel of trauma if you just hung in there and tried hard enough. At least for myself.
As an adult I love the book so much more. It's realistic, honest but kind even to her and Paul. Trauma doesn't go away just because you get out of the bad situations and make it to adulthood. You can still crave wanting to be with and be loved by the people who hurt you especially parents. That longing never goes away and is so much stronger when it was a co dependent relationship.
Yes but trauma can be healed eventually.
My mother was abandoned by her mother, grew up with an amazing father thou but she also had a stepmother and a difficult situation.
She needed therapy and time but she eventually moved on and I can say me and my brothers enjoyed a very sweet emphatic and joyfull mom.
Wounds sometimes teach you things, and help you become a better person who can help others who are in pain
@@Agape122 I did years of therapy and started EMDR last June. I now suggest EMDR to everyone like most people who have done it. I knew I needed to try it but was dubious as to how much it would actually help.
@@amandakriss4244 what is EMDR?
@@Agape122 stands for eye movement desensitization and reprocessing therapy.
For me I do it virtually. I describe traumatic event and or response with as little or many as words as I want. I am given a list of phrases. Pick one that represents how I feel and felt in the trauma. Pick another on how I would like to feel.
Therapist asks what and where and how I feel throughout my body. Anxious hands or legs? Tense back? Tingling face? Focus on that.
Then 2 dots next to each other come on screen. They move back and forth with a thunk clock ish noise. I watch it moving my eyes focused as if in the memory and on the phrase that represents how I feel.
Then it stops and I describe how I feel physically and emotionally. Then we do another round. Until my body and brain feels calm and light. Like it literally let it go.
Then we do rounds focused on the phrase how I would like to feel about it. Focusing on the relaxation and release in mind and body.
It sounds ridiculous explaining it and it sounded the same and like hypnosis or some other woo woo tom foolery. But every session feels like magic to me.
I don't have night terrors like before. No more sleep walking, screaming, fighting. Hardly any sleep paralysis No more holes kicked into my sheets. Anxiety and panic attacks are no longer throughout the day or even daily. I don't spiral anymore in emotions.
My anger bursts (which mostly were inwardly or at internet trolls before), are mostly gone and when they do happen I have ways to release it without self harm by way of tensing so tight I triggered my physical chronic illnesses.
I can make and take phone calls with just my hearing loss and delay being the issue. That was a big one.
I can drink the type of drink I had drugged that pushed my CPSTD into it's worst cycle yet. I don't like the taste but it doesn't cause flashbacks.
In fact I don't have flashbacks at all anymore.
Most of my triggers are just not triggers anymore.
I don't dissociate anymore unless my sleep disorder does it for me.
I have been in EMDR since June 2022. I previously did talk, CBT, DBT, ect. I have been diagnosed with CPTSD since 2013.
I also got accurate mental health diagnoses of CPTSD, autism AND ADHD.
@@amandakriss4244 I am so sorry you experienced such trauma!
Thank you so much to share this therapy with me, it doesn't sound " wo wo" at all to me, I believe in a lot of spiritual things and benefited from things that you americans call " wowo" lol.
I remember a massage therapist told me about it but I didn't feel comfortable with her so I did not try it.
I will seriously look for it as I feel there are some things in my life I didn't process well yet.
I really apreciate you sharing your experience!
I would love to try it, do you know any good contact of somebody who does that somewhere in Europe?
I watched this when i was a kid and didnt pick up on that it was about mental/emotional abuse at all. My mother was narcissistic & abusive, which is why i never saw the issues in this movie. Watching this opened my eyes a lot.
Oh man, what a throwback. I’m almost 30. I was allowed to watched very adult films from an early age and this one was one of my favorites for quite a while.
This movie has always had something that gives me a feeling of freedom and bliss for life (even the dark segments), mostly for how it looked and that cali, beachy atmosphere, when I was young; now in my late twenties is exactly what you said at the end... It's a journey of neglect and rejection for reality; Ingrid is delusional because of her narcissism and grooming Astrid with that perception worked with audiences as well... Her or even we wouldn't want to become murderers but to built that sense of freedom and hunger for making life and the world yours instead and not the other way around. Ingrid went to the extreme because she's human and not that illusion. While being critical and realistic, her beauty, her personality, her strength and her inteligence have harmed her as well. She's despising the world first and then getting to know it she implodes instead of assimilating it... Truly one of my favorite films and some extreme complex characters ❤ beautiful video
This lady reminds me of my mom and I’m literally moving to my aunts next semester to get away from her because I finally realized how evil she is but she had me fooled for years.
I tried to get out when I was young, too, but I couldn't. Best of luck to you.
jeez quit being a cringey angsty teenager
My aunt is exactly like her I tried running away to another country at 17 and after a few days when I told her she upset me, she told me I can go back to my mother or my dad who I don’t live with since I was7 because he is a psychopath and the thought it was funny
White oleander is one of my favourite books. I reread it every few years. One of Janet’s other books called Paint It Black is also a really good read. Another story involving a mother figure.
Maybe, the reason I’ve loved this 📕/🎞️ since fifteen, is because I was raised by narcissistic adoptive mother. I identify with Astrid so deeply!
I think the only not accurate thing is to believe that all daughters of narcissist are also narcissists.
Many times is the total opposite.
My mother had a terribly narcissistic mother..
She did mot really grew up with her as she left her as a baby ( she grew up kind of with single father) but they had contact sometimes and it seems it was truly terrible.
Yet I can assure you my mother is one of the sweetest most emphatic people I ever met, and I am not the only one to say that.
Of course I can see wounds in her, she sometimes doesnt know how to defend herself how to say no, things like that, but she is the oposite of a narcisist.
I also worked as a babysitter of 2 girls. The mother was not a monster or anything like that but indeed had a lot if narcissistic traits , and did not treat them very well.
One of the sisters was like the mother or worse 😅 I loved her because she was a kid but I could see she would grow up to be a very difficult person.
The other sister was a hugely emphatic absolute sweetheart.
Sometimes the reaction to abuse is to become the oposite of your abuser.
Some people learn from the pain and it polish them into an amazing human being. That is what happened to my own mother, who had a terrible mother.
I don't think its realistic to say that people are simply like their parents and thats it.
In many many cases that is not true.
Otherwise siblings would all be like clones right?
And I am sure you met many siblings who are day and night
Having a histrionic malignant narcissist mother is this book and movie. When I read it many years ago I was blown away that someone captured mine in every way possible. Incredibly hard to read but also such a gift to finally see other's have had similar experiences in different settings. It takes a lifetime of work to stay sane and learn new skills while losing my entire family in the process due to their cult like following of her. Well told and has the many layers and gaslighting and grooming everyone experiences with these types of monsters.
I only re-read my copy of White Oleander 2 weeks ago! Wow I'm blown away by this amazing synopsis ❤ from Australia 🐨
You unlocked a memory I thought lost! My family and I DEVOURED this movie when we started watching it by chance in a vacation retreat. The acting was raw and the women just ufff, amazing in their roles. Thank you for covering it! I never knew the name nor the names of the actresses (tho I remembered perhaps Renee Z in it) and I am definitely rewatching!
My dude, read the book, trust me. 10/10. 😩
Have been obsessed with this film/book since I was a kid, my older sister and I found out about this film and it quickly had me hooked. When Ingrid gets under the skin of Claire and whispers into her ear like a venomous snake, she continues to assure Astrid remains hers and hers alone. With Rays and Star, it shows how people will disregard children for their own selfish benefit, for star she wants to be the only woman for Ray and for Ray, he is attracted to the naivety and innocence of Astrid. Astrid learns from such a young age the toxicity of conditional love, that unless you provide something for the illusion of love, you can receive it- her own mother says to not get too attached for love, again, as long as it’s only Ingrid’s love.
unconditional love can be just as toxic… it’s not faultless
Watched this movie many times many years ago. Michele p fascinated me in this movie. Her best work imo. Alison lohman was so ethereal and vulnerable here. Must read the book now.
Thank you for talking about this movie. No one ever talks about this movie. That's disappointing because I personally think this is Michelle Pfeiffer's best performance. Love the book, too.
There are different kinds of narcissistic mothers. Some are more sneaky than the others. They will do all motherly duties so that people never question them of falling behind their responsibilities. But these kinds of narcissistic mothers will also slowly but surely emotionally abuse you over the years, distort your sense of self. Probably the most dangerous kind.
This is my mum they use it over your head like
I've fed you and looked after you.
I've found my mum gaslit me alot too
My kind of mum too, my friends loved her, imagined her being so good, the guests too at our house, I've always played the role too. Once when i was little i gently slaped my mom's face like a caress almost, i remember it vividly, and later i learned that the other adults were shocked but not in my defense, they highlighted the fact that I supposedly humiliated my mother when I wasn't really ever conscious of it. Later my parents never asked why I did it, how I felt, they didn't even ground me for it or anything, and I think that's the worst, I never had a chance to revolt over anything. Never helped any of us grow. It was discreetly said it was not normal but not forbidden.
Great performances by Alison Lohman, Michelle Pfeiffer, Renee Zellweger and Robin Wright. It is sad that there are not many indie films with this kind of realism these days.
I completely forgot about this movie. I watched it when I was pretty young, it was one of those movies that when I look back, I genuinely think influenced me greatly at that time in my life, I had never seen anything like it. This movie opened the door to different perspectives of life for me, definitely need a rewatch now.
I was about 16 or 17 when I first saw this movie. Loved it. Now I understand why as a 37 year old mother that has a covert narcissist for a mother.
before living with my grandmother i was pushed around to a bunch of different foster homes. this book and movie for me growing up meant so much before finding it i always felt alone.
Omg. This book (and to a lesser extent the movie) was a huge obsession for me in my teenage years - both before and after I moved out of my mom's house. Looking back on the book as an adult, I didn't remember much from the story despite reading it countless times. This video answered a lot of my questions, and I enjoyed this analysis! Been considering rereading it lately, so the timing of this vid is crazy for me 😂
I wish I'd had had that book in my teenage years. I learned so much from Astrid's strength.
My mom and I love this movie. Whenever I've watched your videos the essence and beauty of them, the way you talk about women, always reminded me of White Oleander. I hoped that one day you would cover the movie. I'm so happy!
I loved both book and movie and I'm so glad someone made a video essay about this. First I've seen the movie, the read then book, and I think they are both perfectly done, only that the book has more detail in it, and of course more scenes and goes more in depth, like you said, the movie couldn't include all the foster families and some of the more cruel details of what happened to her. A part that particularly stayed with me from the book is the part where a man compares the 2 women with 2 types of stones, one hard but common, and one frail but precious.
I absolutely love the book, and the movie is almost to a t a close follow of the novel. I related to it as something that I've experienced growing up, and fell in love with the writing. It speaks volumes of toxic relationships and growing up and away from the toxicity.
One of my favorite scenes is when she visits her mom for the final time in prison, and confronts her mom to walk away never to see her again because she had grown up and understood her mother could not be fixed or helped being a narcissist. It's a moment of true realization and growth into maturity as an adult. It's a beautiful story.
I remember the first time I saw this movie, it struck me somewhere deep inside. This was a great review thank you 🙏🏽
The book was so beautifully written and is still one of my most favorite books, I have multiple copies of it.
The book version of white oleander is rivetingggg
I saw this movie & read the book before I became a mother- Janet Fitch is an exquisite storyteller.
I learned from friends about the burden of narcissistic moms, and I always took a good look at my decision making…. I am also an artist.
The hunger for the act of creating is so powerful- but the attachment to your children is even more so. Using the arts as a medium to construct the story was a brilliant move.
Loved the video and analysis- thoughtful stuff!
I loved this. And the actress who played the main character is so pretty, like ethereal pretty and of course Michelle Pfeiffer has always been known for her beauty. My mom has always acted like beauty is the only advantage woman have and I seriously internalized that. Knowing there are so many other daughters who go through similar situations with their moms makes me feel less alone
One of my all time favourite movies (and books!) - criminally underrated
The mothers character is exactly like Lori Vallow Daybell, her kids idolized her as well and she destroyed them 😞 This movie was well acted and spot on. Michelle Pfeiffer did an outstanding job playing a narcissistic mother
Another Great video/synopsis. I grew up loving the book and the movie, I’ll have to re read it again. Side note, I wish Alison Lohman was still acting, I really enjoyed her work.
I love Alison Lohman too, even more once I found out she’s from the Coachella Valley like me. Sad that she doesn’t act anymore, didn’t know that.
@@tgardner11she has since said she will eventually return to acting.
Young, vulnerable and neglected girls like Astrid would definitely be attracted to somebody like ray, bc he’s an authority figure in an intimate setting who basically groomed her by reciprocating her crush on him. I experienced the same thing my whole teen hood-and they don’t have to be conventionally attractive, but it does help
What did u experience?
What did u experience?
This novel really affected me because I felt like I should have been Astrid, with my mom in a psyche hospital instead of prison. And then she came out with "Paint It Black" shortly after my mom died ... Janet Fitch was amazing when it came to describing mourning the death of relationships, whether that person was alive or dead.
White Oleander was such an amazing treasure of a movie! It hit emotionally for me on so many levels though not much of it was personal but it didn’t matter. The characters are so visceral and have such depth it was easy to feel every emotion displayed by them as if they were my own stories. The book, no doubt, is a multifaceted masterpiece, I absolutely have to read! Thank you for this video 😊 It was beautifully articulated.
Its amazing to see someone covering this. The book and movie held me hostage as a teen
This was my favorite movie as a teenager. I ended up doing the scene where she confronted her mom in the jail for a drama class. This movie fr meant the world to me
i’m so glad this was recommended to me. This is one of my favorite movies now. i love the melancholy in between scenes when Astrid is, staring at a globe or just drawing, but each scene is so different because her appearance changes, her demeanor. She’s moving forward in time but still stuck in the same headspace.
Thank you so much for making this.
this book is written so beautifully, though such a sad story
I love this movie so much. I borrowed it on DVD many years ago during a rough patch in my life and it became sort of a comfort movie for me. It will always be a special movie to me.
Never read the book, but always loved the movie when I grew up. I know how to grow up with parents that shouldn't be parents, how it destroys you emotionally, dragging me along back and forth in all the chaos just thinking of themselves without thinking of what harm their actions do to me while growing up, no room for how I feel or learn about the different emotions, no support, anger and loyalty at the same time. I'm soon 29 and been miserable all my life because of my parents and how they destroyed me emotionally. I'm doing a little better, but they'll always be a part of me, the good and the bad..
Always a treat to get to listen to this voice. 10 minutes in, this reminds me of The Diary of a Teenage Girl (2015)
Thanks for doing a video on this. I remember being captivated by this film when I rented it as a young teen. I had forgotten about it for awhile but I vaguely remembered it. It was really nice to rewatch as an adult. I feel like it always creeps back in my memory for some reason. the story just really draws you in and I always felt like it was therapeutic and an a emotional story that pulled on my heart strings. And I don't really know why because I can't relate to it but I believe it's just the power of a good story with emotional depth. I don't hear about it being mentioned often either. Another film that had a similar effect is Manic.
I watched the movie on cable years and years ago when I was like 13 or so and this movie effected me quite profoundly. I loved art and drawing so I connected with the scenes where Astrid was drawing or painting these gorgeous art pieces. I was also completely and utterly fascinated by Astrid’s relationship with her mother, Ingrid. I have a great and loving relationship with my mom so I was so intrigued by this odd dynamic of the daughter so wide-eyed in awe by her mother who is so self absorbed. Ingrid does love her daughter but her love isn’t a priority for her. Her daughter doesn’t come first, her art, her dignity, her own being comes first…It’s so the opposite of my mother and most other mothers I know. But at the end when she sacrifices using her daughter to testify I think that was the true sign that she does love her daughter and maybe that was also her way of asking for forgiveness.
Years later while I was fresh at my first job circa 2013, I stumbled on the book in a library at the university I worked for. I immediately borrowed it and read it all, completely consumed by the written version. It’s even better than the movie but both has its appeal. I absolutely love both. This movie will forever hold a special place in my heart.
Oh man this book was my Bible as a teenager. I had multiple copies, sentences highlighted and underlined. I need to read it again. Janet Fitch has another amazing book called Paint it Black. It's set in the 80s in LA with a female protagonist, I highly recommend.
Gosh, I love this film. I was about the age of Astrid when I saw it. I remember trying to fully understand the movie and grasp all of the concepts, and at the same time really relating to Astrid, but I couldn't understand why at the time. Looking back and reanalyzing this film it makes so much sense. I also had a tumultuous relationship with my mother that I couldn't really understand as a young teenager. This movie inspired me to write more and sketch. It's one of my favorite films. We dont get movies like this anymore. I am a huge Michelle Pfeiffer fan after watching her performance.
Loved your film analysis ❤ Thank you for your work! You brought back a classic for me. This film will forever linger in my mind 🙏
i saw this movie when i was 15 because someone told me the movie reminded them of me and my mothers relationship. they were correct. as an adult we are NC.
I love this book and movie. I have a very complicated relationship with my mother and my daughter. White Oleander is very personal to me -not the details of the story itself, just certain qualities about Astrid and Ingrid's relationship.
I've been meaning to read the original novel since this is one of my all time favourite movies but have the reading attention span of a golden retriever, I've always wondered if each mother having a colour scheme was a movie or book thing since it's just a detail I love with how Astrid so easily puts herself in their colours and style.
“You don’t go anywhere until I let you go” those words hit deep.
Oh my God you've unlocked so many memories! I used to love this movie when i was younger. I know i'm going to love the video 🫶
I'm so glad that if anyone was to cover my favorite book and movie, it was you. Thank you for your thoughtful analysis
I am so happy you covered this book and movie! my mother showed me the movie, when I myself was 12... then i read the book. three times in fact, now It's one of my favourite books. It is strange how later in life, I realized my own mother shared many similarities with Ingrid, while she herself saw the relationship between Ingrid and Astrid as her relationship with her mother.
this is one of the movies i’ve seen bits by bits on cable tv back then. thank you for making it whole for me, this is a very touching analysis.
I loved this movie so much. I can't remember how many times I've seen it. Thank you for offering your perspective on it!
I remember watching this movie many years ago when I was around 12 or 13. White Oleander's complex story intrigued me and grabbed my attention, and Ingrid and Astrid's mother and daughter relationship was touching, disturbing, multilayered, twisted, dark, delicate and heartbreaking. And this actually resonates with me as I'm gonna be 29 tomorrow and as of late I've been reflecting on my relationship with my own mom and our relationship's complications coinciding with my faith growth journey and my mental health recovery journey.
I LOVE THIS CHANNEL! Thank you for releasing video essays that always interest me and open up my thoughts on the books, films and artists I adore. I love your narrating also. Thank you!
You never miss! Always hitting on formative books and movie from my teens that i have not thought about in forever
thank you so much for making this omg. no one ever talks about it. it’s one of my favorite books
Wow.. your whole channel… is like having my throat cut open to let everything what’s been hurting me from the inside out, and then applying a gentle touch to it
Saw this movie as a teen and was blown away. Watching this analysis reminded me how good it is. Still top 3 favorite movies 20 years later.
This film has always had a special place in my heart. I bawled like a baby the first time I watched it and it has remained a favorite of mine ever since.
I never read the book but this is one of my favorite movies. I really enjoyed how you compare the two throughout the video. I love your essays!
White oleander
Thirteen
The butterfly effect
Some of the movies that changed my life
My dad had a violent temper growing up. I never told anyone because this movie scared the shit out of me when it came to CPS
One of my favorite movies. My mom got it from blockbuster when I was little, and sat, speechless, watching it.
Thank you so much for the video! 🎉❤ You pointed out all the important plot moments and dynamics between the characters very accurately, great psychological review! I've never read the book, but this movie has become one of my favourites throughout the years. Always go back to it. It's a great movie for the reason that there are not so many movies with complex and interesting female characters and their stories. It's relatable and therapeutic for many females out there I'm sure as it is for me. You can't always afford to go to therapy but you can always watch the movie and it can help you or even save you in a way. That's why it's so valuable and precious for me 🙌
I almost screamed when I saw you posted this video! My favourite TH-camr made a video about one of my most re-read and favourite book???! AHHHHHHH
What a beautiful video essay. This movie/book has had a special place in my heart - I was raised by my incredibly complicated, incredibly beautiful mother, who died when I was sixteen. I remember seeing White Oleander for the first time after we'd had a fight, but it wasn't until I was grown that I started to really see the lessons being taught in this story.
I wish the film had been rated R and included the fascinating and nuanced character of Olivia.