Online friends are so important in this time and place, imo. Even if you will never meet them, you can talk to each other about all those things that you are worried about but can't talk about with your family or friends around you. I became friends with a TH-camr and I visited her in August. Took me over 4 hours with the train and I just stayed a night, but we talked over 11 hours about our passions, the live, our trauma and and and. We had a blast and I would do it again!
I don't have powerful gender dysphoria. But I do have strong gender euphoria. Though obviously since my egg cracked the dysphoria have slowly started to encroach on me. Even more so after I started on hormones a month ago.
Shrek has trans vibes because of Fiona's story arc. She is a princess that has duties & behaviors society expects of her in public, but she is an ogre in private. She doesn't want to be an ogre. She learns to accept herself after she accidentally gets outed as an ogre by a friend.
“I think we can tell the difference between gender disphoria and just self consciousness” see that’s the funny thing, when transition was never shown as an option in your life (or only shown as caricature, as in practically all media and culture growing up…) you really don’t. It just manifests as body dismorphia, and your body doesn’t feel like you, and also you feel uncomfortable being seen as that gender or in gendered spaces, and also you use escapism to live as a different gender in media, but nothing puts those dots together because you can’t stand being present in your body and the idea that anything could be done about it never existed to you The ‘sensory issues’ amounted to disphoria upon being perceived, being drawn out of disassociation to feel the full force of how awful everything about your body felt, an instant slam of disconnect between your internal and external view of yourself, since you’re always living in books or games or film (as a different gender, but again the dots don’t connect that that is related to why your own body feels so bad compared to imagining to be someone else feeling good, because the idea of it being an option for you wasn’t ever known) so yeah reality became kinda slippery if that makes sense (like I didn’t think to myself “I’m avoiding mirrors” my eyes would just kinda slide around them so I didn’t have to see myself) tons of little things that add up and make sense in hindsight under the lens of disphoria but in the moment were all individual seemingly unrelated anxieties (not feeling connected to your body really fucks you up and makes it hard to relate those experiences, like idk how to describe why painting my nails suddenly makes me feel anchored in reality and like my hands are really mine and not some puppet I’m vaguely directing from a distance etc, each little thing seperates you from yourself, or connects you a little bit closer to your internal self, as I see it, like being out of phase or out of tune and then correcting the resonance until it snaps back into alignment, otherwise it’s just a fuzzy discordant fog you fight thru to interact with the world without knowing why nothing you’re *supposed* to be makes sense while the thing that doesn’t seem possible makes the most sense (for example I never related to gender bending stories, because that involved thinking yourself as one gender and then wanting to be another. I just always saw myself as the gender not assigned, & immersed in media as that gender because that’s what fit with my self image, while wanting to have as little to do with my assigned gender as possible, while still thinking my assigned gender was my lot and everyone must feel that way right, not understanding what that deep discomfort when forced to see myself meant or what disappearing into fiction as my actual gender feeling so right meant to my reality. I had resigned myself to always having my head in the clouds rather than ever face living in my body, thinking I struggled with disabilitating general anxiety rather than anxiety specifically stemming from living as the wrong gender (let me tell you, social anxiety around being perceived was so awful and I could never understand it, because suddenly having to pay attention to how I am being seen while making every effort to avoid thinking about my physical body set off straight panic attacks every time with me not having a ducking clue what was causing them, felt like my soul being split in two
![[안방1열 직캠4K] 베이비몬스터 치키타 'DRIP' (BABYMONSTER CHIQUITA FanCam) @SBS Inkigayo 241110](http://i.ytimg.com/vi/tnlxo79cAqY/mqdefault.jpg)
12:38 This might be a reference to a manga called Bokugirl where main character was transformed into a girl after bee-ing bitten by a bee.
I beelieve I see what you did there
Online friends are so important in this time and place, imo. Even if you will never meet them, you can talk to each other about all those things that you are worried about but can't talk about with your family or friends around you.
I became friends with a TH-camr and I visited her in August. Took me over 4 hours with the train and I just stayed a night, but we talked over 11 hours about our passions, the live, our trauma and and and. We had a blast and I would do it again!
Been feelin dysphoric lately cause I’m going through puberty and my family members keep telling me I’m such a man :(
Poor homie. One day you'll show em!
fr, my brother keeps telling me im going to "fill my frame" and become a "strong man"
all I see is a fine little rowlet, no man here
@@Railgun3rd I’m nb but thanks
@@Uggnog Aaaaaah fuck... Sorry.
Having to reorient my own latin studies to not misgender meself
I'm wearing my spooky hoody today! It just felt right with ne nice autumn weather ^^
just found this channel it deserves more subs!
9:18
Acererak is such an ally 😍
13:08 why is this so relatable ;__;
I don't have powerful gender dysphoria. But I do have strong gender euphoria. Though obviously since my egg cracked the dysphoria have slowly started to encroach on me. Even more so after I started on hormones a month ago.
Great video
Transitioning isn't enough. I need to become a living concept. A drawing given life.
(Mostly a joke)
Mostly
How about a genderless being of pure energy? Ascend past the weak flesh. Become ever-living never-decaying energy.
@@theawkwardpotato1973 you. You get me.
Shrek has trans vibes because of Fiona's story arc. She is a princess that has duties & behaviors society expects of her in public, but she is an ogre in private. She doesn't want to be an ogre. She learns to accept herself after she accidentally gets outed as an ogre by a friend.
“I think we can tell the difference between gender disphoria and just self consciousness” see that’s the funny thing, when transition was never shown as an option in your life (or only shown as caricature, as in practically all media and culture growing up…) you really don’t. It just manifests as body dismorphia, and your body doesn’t feel like you, and also you feel uncomfortable being seen as that gender or in gendered spaces, and also you use escapism to live as a different gender in media, but nothing puts those dots together because you can’t stand being present in your body and the idea that anything could be done about it never existed to you
The ‘sensory issues’ amounted to disphoria upon being perceived, being drawn out of disassociation to feel the full force of how awful everything about your body felt, an instant slam of disconnect between your internal and external view of yourself, since you’re always living in books or games or film (as a different gender, but again the dots don’t connect that that is related to why your own body feels so bad compared to imagining to be someone else feeling good, because the idea of it being an option for you wasn’t ever known)
so yeah reality became kinda slippery if that makes sense (like I didn’t think to myself “I’m avoiding mirrors” my eyes would just kinda slide around them so I didn’t have to see myself) tons of little things that add up and make sense in hindsight under the lens of disphoria but in the moment were all individual seemingly unrelated anxieties (not feeling connected to your body really fucks you up and makes it hard to relate those experiences, like idk how to describe why painting my nails suddenly makes me feel anchored in reality and like my hands are really mine and not some puppet I’m vaguely directing from a distance etc, each little thing seperates you from yourself, or connects you a little bit closer to your internal self, as I see it, like being out of phase or out of tune and then correcting the resonance until it snaps back into alignment, otherwise it’s just a fuzzy discordant fog you fight thru to interact with the world without knowing why nothing you’re *supposed* to be makes sense while the thing that doesn’t seem possible makes the most sense (for example I never related to gender bending stories, because that involved thinking yourself as one gender and then wanting to be another. I just always saw myself as the gender not assigned, & immersed in media as that gender because that’s what fit with my self image, while wanting to have as little to do with my assigned gender as possible, while still thinking my assigned gender was my lot and everyone must feel that way right, not understanding what that deep discomfort when forced to see myself meant or what disappearing into fiction as my actual gender feeling so right meant to my reality.
I had resigned myself to always having my head in the clouds rather than ever face living in my body, thinking I struggled with disabilitating general anxiety rather than anxiety specifically stemming from living as the wrong gender (let me tell you, social anxiety around being perceived was so awful and I could never understand it, because suddenly having to pay attention to how I am being seen while making every effort to avoid thinking about my physical body set off straight panic attacks every time with me not having a ducking clue what was causing them, felt like my soul being split in two