The importance of fathers | Correctional Officer Calvin Williams | TEDxIronwoodStatePrison
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- เผยแพร่เมื่อ 1 มิ.ย. 2014
- Single father of 3 children, Correctional Officer Calvin Williams of Ironwood State Prison speaks about the importance of being a father.
In the spirit of ideas worth spreading, TEDx is a program of local, self-organized events that bring people together to share a TED-like experience. At a TEDx event, TEDTalks video and live speakers combine to spark deep discussion and connection in a small group. These local, self-organized events are branded TEDx, where x = independently organized TED event. The TED Conference provides general guidance for the TEDx program, but individual TEDx events are self-organized.* (*Subject to certain rules and regulations)
Calvin is my son-in-law and I am so proud of him.
To all the MEN who is there for your kids 🌹 🌹
That is a real man right there !
That's the same thing I thought when I heard him♡
As a former Correctional Officer myself (and fatherless kid growing up in the streets of The Bronx) I thank you, CO Williams.
do u think this issue is really important as the high crime rate besides the gun shootings?
For those of us who grew up without a father, we need to embrace our inner dad for ourselves so that one day we can do it for our children. And so that we can act righteously.
Tell yourself you're not worthy of abandonment or to stand abuse and that you love yourself.
Totally agree!
How are you doing with your own kids, Joel? I’ve got 3. I’m trying really hard but I could be a lot better.
My dad was around when I grew up and was involved but he got really depressed after the recession caused him to lose his job in 2008. After that he was depressed and uninvolved and that continued there after. I remember being a teenager remembering when we played catch and shot hoops. I missed it more than anything. My mom was there, but mom's don't get what it's like to be a teenage boy or a young man. Dad's are so important but society doesn't value them like they should. I'm a dad now, and it's my favorite thing in the world.
to be raised by a father is a blessing not everybody experience.
you got that right...
It takes a real man to be a father. Be patient so they learn, be kind so theyll listen(discipline is a different story of course), be caring so theyll have purpose later in life and most of all, the way you are with them is the way theyll think God is.
Tribies God has everything to do with it to those who believe.
Wise words brother.
Detest this concept of "a real man". What is a real man ? and then what is a real woman ? or a real son ? This concept of real man is misandry
@@sherabite3503 Bro what😂
@@sherabite3503 most people who say like you are women. They don't like men to adorn their masculinity, when they do they say it's toxic, actually healthy masculinity is not masculinity but femininity
I shed a couple of tears when he choked up about losing his wife because I know he lost a lot. God forbid I lost my wife I would be distraught and overburdened with my three children.
Love your wife brother. And your kids. Everyday❤
@@rickDArula I have 4 children now
I grew up without my dad much around but I developed strong mind that keeps me going.
Same, I feel you :)
Same bro
Holy smokes. I'm normally the calm, unemotional type. But, this made my eyes leak. Damn....
Officer Williams is a much better example of both fathers AND correctional officers than the MSM ever wants to present. Thank you for this channel.
Thank you for those kind words. God bless.
Thank you Officer Williams. I'm becoming a father sometime in the next few days and I found this very inspirational and motivating.
A sane voice in an increasingly sick world. Finally!
Thank you.
For girls father and boys mother are the most important person ever . Cause they are the first men or women who teach us trust , care , love from the opposite gender as well .
Also because guys know guys can take care of themselves better than girl can. At least you know, when it comes to getting physical with people
No... that is the misconception. It's not one or the other... both are absolutely necessary. One is the primarily the nurturer while the other is the disciplinarian. Typically the mother is the nurturer and father the disciplinarian, but it can be either or. However, both are necessary, and no individual can do both simultaneously as a child will never have the mental or emotional maturity to respect one parent as both. You can either discipline your child or encourage them, but you can't do both. This is why the disciplinarian is not typically understood or appreciated by the child until they reach maturity of adulthood when they are able to understand the importance of the role. Parenting is a touch job, that most ppl take far too lightly these days... they take care of their financial obligations and rely on public or private schools to raise their children... smh
I grew up with a single mother and I love her. She's taught me a lot. But I'm 20 now and I've been struggling. Every day that passes by, I realize just how much I needed a father. I still do need one. I'm trying to grow and be a man on my own, but it's not easy. That void just can't be filled
@@shivarampersaud6799 I’m 17 I’ve got the exact same feeling my brother.but it also gets to me when I think about how excited I am to have my own kids but even then I just get a feeling of why not me.
Each parent has an undeniable roll to play in the development of a child, whether it's male or female. Don't be misguided.
One of the better Ted talks I have ever seen. Wow. That's raw humanity. 👏
Thanks for a brave and important talk! I hope that more correctional officers will feel comfortable enough to take the TEDx stage. Happy Father's Day, Officer Williams.
Beautiful talk, real talk, took courage to get up there. I'm a single father and as hard as it is I wouldn't trade it for anything. The kids are our future and I see SO many as a coach and parent that need Fatherly guidance they're not getting. Love and respect to all the Real Parents out there!
This is THE most important Ted Talk video you'll see...Happy Father's Day to all the DAD's, GRANDFATHERS, and MENTORS out here!!!
Way to go C. Williams. Proud of your faith and encouragement. Beautifully transparent, missing from many over produced Ted Talks.
Absolutely love seeing this. Thank you for stressing the importance of fathers in this world. Society, culture, etc. are all pushing away the need for fathers. Being an involved dad is one of my favorite things in life! I know this is old, but I’d love to have you on my podcast if you’re up for it!
I love this video. I work for Head Start and use it all the time to recruit fathers to volunteer at our sites.
Thank you brotha. I appreciate your effort.
Will this guy have to apologize like Terry Cruz?
What a time to live where you have to apologize for saying that a child needs a father.
@Jn35 You're insane, no woman ever had to apologize for saying a child needs a mother. Never, in the history of the whole world. And no one ever says a child needs a father MORE than a mother, people just say that fathers are also important, contrary to what society and family courts believe.
amen, praise the king and thumbs up!!
He is spot on!! Their is No important of a person then a father for his children! Today's generation of "guys" don't know what it means to be a "REAL MAN" and to father their children!! Me being a father of a 17 month old is the most precious thing besides loving my wife and being a GODLY man to my family!
Thank you brotha. Stay focused, and grateful.
To the father's out there who were there for your child, provided for them and raised them. For those fathers who didn't deceive their children, who didn't hurt their children. ♥️
love love love this!!!! thank you mr. calvin
inspirational and made my day! I am a single mom raising 3 kids as well. My oldest is in college two boys are in high school - will use the part about guidance and curbing behavior to get where they have to go. My ex ghosted our kids in 2010 and he stopped paying child support in 2019. He and his family fiercely defend child abandonment and willful nonpayment of child support. So refreshing to hear from a father who walks the walk and has amazing values. Bless this wonderful man and his kids!
Very moving.
I appreciate this officer's honesty!
❤ thank you. From a single momma, thank you. And God bless and keep you and yours and your ministry.
Awesome talk. Bless you, Sir. Thank you.
Powerful story...God bless!
God bless this man he's right. Guidance sometimes comes too late. Thank God my father is in my life snd we speak but I've been noticing I need to do better. Thanks so much for this❤️❤️❤️✌🏻✌🏻
Its great to see mentors like us teach functionality to the youth. Our community needs us .
A shining beacon of a Man!
great talk, empowering for sure
Great talk here. Wanted MORE...too short. Gad bless you office Williams.
Not your usual TEDx speech but impactful non the less
Brother .. thank you .
You're welcome. Thanks for watching.
I have tromendous respect for you Calvin Williams by Steve Irungu Jermaine
Thank you sir, I’m gonna use this raising my boys.
Mothers give you your soul and the Father teaches you to be righteous in an unjust world.
Studies indicate that children who have a strong bond with their father perform better academically, experience fewer emotional issues, and are less prone to substance abuse or engaging in delinquency. Investing effort into fostering a positive relationship with your child is crucial.
There's no doubt that having a dad whose job is a correctional officer, LOL, might be a bit of a challenge! But damn do I respect the way this man speaks. There's no doubt also, in the same breath, I must add, that his children I bet will be damn successful and focused and driven. I wish my father would have kept on me with an attitude like this.
Ain't it funny how the men with no fathers end up being the best fathers!
Servant of Israel I wish this would have been in my case too. My father lost his dad at a very young age. But my dad isn't a good dad.
Right that's why male prisons are getting bigger.
Some men take the kwoledge of their pain and the places where they ache the most and develop a parenting style to ensure their children dont go through that while unfortunately others are overwhelmed by the voids dont manage them well continue a vicious cycle
I’m not always
@@mountainhigh9156 Circumstantial
Single mum here been so hard without dad's support and I was the best mum I could be all the courses I did to become one as I lost my birth mum and dad and adoptive mum and dad and all siblings and look how hard I work to give them the love and stability they need and empathy and guiding them I have been a mum and a dad and my daughter fighting for her and help for her fighting for. So this is a valuable message to show dads 💯💥😀 ps loving them unconditionally the man and dad for years showing my children United front and I'm now drained 😔 jesus 🙏
❤❤❤❤❤ Love from Scotland and beautiful man. ❤
I got speeches like everyone else in the room..i know its an older video but it still current on time
Thank you.
The room is silent and fully focused on him
Powerful Message brother!! And yes, to Servant of Israel comment...YES! Aint it funny that men with no fathers end up being the best fathers!!!
Most of those men die by suicide.
That is not funny.
Man be a father, Loved him and my father
That's lovely and so right ❤️✌️
I would run through a brick wall for this man.
powerful.
In just 5 minutes, he spoke a whole lot.
Great video
Deep!
Thanks
I'm humbled by Steve Irungu Jermaine
I miss you dad
“Ain’t nobody gonna ever have you like your daddy got you.” 😮💨😮💨
Why is this ONLY 5mins???
Stand up Detroit!
🤞🏽EASTSIDE‼️
It pains me deeply to witness fathers who choose to be absent from their children's lives. The weight of this reality hits me with such force, as I myself have felt the void left by an absent father. Now, as a father myself, I am acutely aware that loving one's child should never be seen as optional; it is an instinct that begins long before their arrival into this world.
From the moment my child's existence was known, I loved him unconditionally. When he graced this world with his presence, his beauty overwhelmed me, and his warmth touched the depths of my soul. In that instant, I knew he was the epitome of love in my life, a love that I would sacrifice my very existence for without hesitation.
Now, my child is five years old, and though his Mother and I are no longer together, my love for my son remains unwavering, undiminished. It continues to evolve, growing stronger with each passing day. The privilege of being called "Daddy" by my little one is an honor and a blessing that fills my life with purpose. Every moment I am apart from him, my heart aches, longing for his presence. I could never fathom abandoning my son, leaving my heart and world behind. His happiness and well-being are my sole priorities.
I cherish my son more than anything in this vast world. It is beyond my comprehension how any father could consciously choose to be absent from his child's life, purposefully missing out on the most profound experiences a man can ever encounter. The joy of witnessing their first steps, the warmth of their embrace, and the pride that swells in your heart as you witness their growth, these are the irreplaceable moments that shape us as fathers, that leave an indelible mark on our souls.
I implore those fathers who have relinquished their role, who have turned away from the tremendous privilege and responsibility of fatherhood, to reconsider. Embrace the opportunity to be present, to create cherished memories with your child. Open your heart to the profound love and fulfillment that comes from being an active participant in their life. For in their eyes, you hold the power to shape their world, to be the guiding light that illuminates their path.
Let us, as fathers, strive to be the unwavering presence our children deserve. Let us revel in the sheer magnitude of love that flows between a father and child, for it is a bond that transcends time and leaves an enduring legacy. May we never take for granted the immeasurable joy that awaits us when we choose to be present, when we choose to be the fathers our children yearn for and deserve.
so true
Great speech!
Thanks
Fathers are Important
say THAT. yes
Both parents are just important. A father can be a mother and vice versa. Unfortunately the legal system tries to exclude fathers, we have the same bond and father's intuition. Mothers that try to seperate kids from their fathers often only make the bond stronger because we appreciate every minute with our children.
What ever you do open up the Bible and understand what it has to offer and get a good education and work on your values in life, life is very unpredictable and try your best to break the poverty cycle in life that even means not having children you won't regret it when you leave this world.
👏🏾💙
Sometimes I don't know what is the best option, to have an absent father or being fatherless totally...
Fatherless I think. At least, you know you weren't abandoned or unlovable.
@@adefunkeadeyeye6707 yes ... Maybe you are right, ... My experience, is that my son was taken by my ex wife, without my permission, and every single day without my son, I feel like somebody riped out my heart alive.... thanks for your opinion brother
Best would be to understand that he was so busy working and providing for u that he didn't have much time to spent with u and being thankful (deadbeat father is another Case, but in that case hold ur mom accountable because she picked the man and choose to make baby with)
Ladies, choose well who you choose to be your kid's father. Learn about his background, family history, mental health and past relationships. Don't ignore red flags, looks are deceiving. Just a good advise🤗
🎉🎉🎉🎉🎉
This biggest indicator of degeneracy is the lack of a father or father figure in the household. Feminism has done a good job at eliminating that from the nuclear family.
agree, not including the subsiding of fatherless single families
I would rather live alone period by Steve Irungu Jermaine
Miss you dad you tech me a lesson learn to drink beer appropriately.
no audio
I would like to thank my mother for marrying a wonderful man(Mr Dock Davis). I would like to thank him for being a father to me knowing,at first i never knew one.
Matriarcy will shut down your efforts. Society doesn't want father's in their home. That would produce order.
Truth!!!!!
Agreed
What are you even talking about? Did you just read a dictionary and spit out some random words in the efforts to sound smart? How do you even come up with the idea that matriarchy doesnt want fathers in the home? Absolutely ridiculous 😂
@@sophiesnowflake1307 he is not lying. There’s a spirit called the “Divine Feminine” that is looking to usurp women authority over man.
And when this happens, chaos happens. Men are natural leaders, because GOD made it that way. But of course, when we deviate from GOD’s way, we have chaos.
I agree that Men should step up to the plate and be apart of their Children's Lives but what about the Women who continue to choose these type of men. I notice that no one ever talks about that.
Dear Lord Jesus help me God to be a responsible all-rounded person in Jesus name Amen 🙏🙏🙏🙏🙏🙏🙏🙏🙏🙏🙏🙏🙏🙏🙏 by Steve Irungu Jermaine
4:30
Life is not about following any template. Everyone has their own circumstances from birth to death and their own talents and resources and it is up to them how they choose to navigate through this existence. Just acknowledge your challenges without boohooing. See what Satchmo did.
HI
I choose Jesus I choose to play clean so help me God in Jesus name Amen 🙏🙏🙏🙏🙏🙏🙏🙏🙏🙏🙏🙏🙏 by Steve Irungu Jermaine
There is a better way. Parental custody of children is actually a very simple matter to solve given the true desire of “What is best for the child”. We first need to separate and discard marriage from family law as they no longer seem to be connected. We must develop protocols that confer (over time) equal parental rights and responsibilities,…..once parentage is proven.
Children’s natural maturation process has 3 essential stages of need.
A.The unconditional love of the mother from birth until about 7 years of age. The mother to have “thefinalsay” and to receive child allowance.
B.The conditional love of the father, who takes his children out into the world, gives security and teaches social boundaries from 7 until about 13 years of age. The father to have “thefinalsay” and to receive child allowance.
C.The friendship and respect of peers from 13 until 18 years of age. The child to have “thefinalsay”.
If these 3 stages are not are not gone through in order, maturation is unlikely to be satisfactorily achieved and mental resilience reduced. This has now become generational.
Such a regime of equal parenting rights (over time) would bind parents into a co-operative relationship, because (over time) each will hold the power of “thefinalsay” sequentially when they are best favoured to use it.
Such family protocols would be the default position, but could in exceptional cases be varied by the court.
Buckminster Fuller said:-
“You never change things by fighting the existing reality. To change something, build a new model that makes the existing model obsolete”.
To alleviate suffering is worthy. To prevent it is divine, but thankless.
a man cannot be a man without a father
I don't want to get married period so help me God in Jesus name Amen 🙏🙏🙏🙏🙏🙏🙏🙏🙏🙏🙏🙏 by Steve Irungu Jermaine
3:25 c'mon people don't clap for this moment wait until the end... it's just awkward. He deserves a standing ovation but at the end of his speech. Seriously what's wrong with you.
It was clapping to support him in a moment that made him cry. It wasn't a clap for his speech. Big difference, and is ok in that situation.
Thanks for the compliment. As I remember that unexpected emotional moment, the audiences support gave me the strength to finish. What's wrong with me? Losing my wife to cancer hurts, a lot.
Sorry officer. But as an officer of the law (whom people are seeking to defund) you are very well aware of the low priority the law puts on fathers. Of the perception of lack of value of fathers in family law and custody battles. And as far as sons are concerned it is even worse. Since 1981, for 40 straight years, sons have been doing worse than daughters in education and gap has been increasing year on year. The fight against toxic masculinity has become the fight against masculinity.
Blm should focus real issue- fatherhood. Not race.
It's like learned meth and you go through withdrawal. Despite my comment and the title please note they do this with everyone. Making you focus on what is lacking. They are entire shows where adoptees are seeking out their biological family for the sake of drama.
Pseudo-intellectualism
Actor
Wow thanks for the compliment, but no. I'm no actor by any means.
None. It's only important to your vein ego.
I thought he will be doing rap lol good talk btw
cringe alarm
I don't see the importance of fatherhood. I always wondered what's the importance of fathers in a child's life. I can see why mothers are important. Women are socially and biologically programmed to be parents much more strongly than men are. Mothers are the ones that produce milk to feed to their babies. Also, mothers are the ones that are usually in charge of their babies, and they assume that role early on. Also, women have "maternal instinct", while men don't have anything like that. And also, children usually spend a lot more time with their mothers than they do with their fathers, and during that time, the mothers are usually taking care of the children.
Also, most animals in this world are only taken care by their mothers and they don't have their fathers around at all. So why are human fathers important? It seems that a child can grow up without a father, and still turn out ok.
@shevetlevi2821
Yesterday evening I lit a Yizkor candle (a Jewish custom on the anniversary of a loved one's death) for my dad. I've been blessed to have hit the Lotto with both of my parents. Today having made it through most of a lifetime being a happy, strong and self-actualized man I give thanks for Dad. He never said, "Son, this is how you grow to be a man..." But from infancy onward you see this big guy in the house who you love and idolize and seemingly can do anything, and quietly and without fanfare keeps you and your family safe, and how would you not want to emulate him? It's amazing to me that fathers, and men today are so devalued, like they're just an easily obtained source of genetic material. I'm so grateful that I grew up in a time when this wasn't true.