My Depression Story: Living with Depression as a Black Christian woman
ฝัง
- เผยแพร่เมื่อ 25 ก.ค. 2024
- Being a strong Black woman almost broke me. This is my Depression Story. As a Black woman, there is so much shame and stigma around mental illness. Dealing with depression and anxiety as a Black woman comes with a lot of judgement and expectations, and it's so much worse in the Church. Toxic positivity runs through Christian culture and people are suffering because of it.
Here are resources if you're struggling with Mental Illness:
❥ National Suicide Prevention Lifeline: 800-273-8255
❥ Therapy for Black Girls: therapyforblackgirls.com/
❥ Resources for Depression: nndc.org/resource-links/
content included: my depression story, Depression as a Black Woman, Black Woman Depression, Therapy for Black Girls, stigma around Mental illness, Black Culture and Depression, Black Culture and Mental Health, Toxic Positivity, Christian Culture and Toxic Positivity, mental health, Black community mental health,
▬ Chapters ▬
00:00 Trigger Warnings and Disclaimers
00:53 Depression looks different.
01:33 A Retrospective to My Depression
03:12 Drinking to Cope
04:59 Isolation
05:48 Toxic Positivity and Church Trauma
08:35 The Strong Black Woman
09:36 Major Depressive Disorder
12:34 The Stigma Around Mental Health
13:19 Mental Health and The Black Community
14:48 Black Women and Suffering
19:03 The Burden Black Women Carry
21:44 What (my) Depression & Anxiety Feels Like
24:51 A Message of Hope
26:15 SING I wrote a song about my depression
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much love and much joy,
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I typed in "Black, Christian, depression" with no hope that I will find anything and I found this gem with a song, double for my trouble. Thank you Alecia.
Sister, I’m feeling so lost these days. I don’t have a lot of people (in fact, very few) with whom I can discuss how depressed I am. Honestly, I fear the only way out of this is suicide. However, I came across your video and for now, right now, I feel less alone and I’ll push through another day. Thank you for your transparency. Your video may save someone from despair. Blessings and peace to you.
Wheeeeeeeeew I felt this comment! YOU'RE NOT ALONE DEAR. I just really No Longer want to be here neither, but I'm AFRAID to harm myself. Your feelings are valid and NEVER allow anyone to shame you for that. Labeling everything as "Mental Illness" is VERY dismissive. Sometimes an individual just NO LONGER desires to be here and that's their choice. 🤎
@Introverted Empath I believe the only reason I haven't acted on my dark thoughts are my children. I've been wanting an out as far back as I can remember. You've got this, I've got this. One day at a time🙏🏾🙏🏾🙏🏾
@@nikkoedwards4399 yeeeeeeeeeees. One day at a time. One moment at a time. 💛💛💛
@@IntellectuallyAstutehow are you?
@@nikkoedwards4399how are you?
I was about to get dressed & travel to my nearest bridge today because I can’t cope anymore & no one around me understands how & why my traumas are affecting me. I’ve been through a lot too much for one person. I have been resilient my whole life & I’m drained. I’ve explained this to everyone around me & the responses are blaming me & my perspective on life or I’m not trying hard enough. I’m suffocating right now & I just want someone to tell me that I don’t have to be strong. I just typed in black girl depression & I came across your video & you have explained everything that I’m going through & feeling. being strong & not needing help is what killed my mother. I was strong when she died at 17. I was strong when my own sister made me homeless a week before my 18th birthday & I was strong when I was abused as a child. I can’t be strong anymore I need help but no one can help so what’s the point? I’m seeing a black therapist & hopefully I get to speak to her about everything.
long story short today I won’t jump because you validated me. I can’t promise tomorrow but today you’ve helped me.
You are valued. The world will not be better with you gone. That's a trick of the enemy. You will live and not die and will walk in your purpose, sis!
I empathize with you. I hope you are still here with us and are doing much better ❤
😢I hope and pray you have found a way to have a meaningful life. You matter. You matter. Please remember you matter. You bring something special to the world.
Honey i understand you, and i almost went there,but take it one step at a time, loving on yourself and start by saying no to people,learn to understand your triggers and work through them,forgive yourself,pamper yourself and most importantly you are not alone,God loves you and i know how it sounds but trust me He loves you. You must win over depression,tell yourself positive affirmations and be greatful for the gift of life. Be blessed
Hold on; one minute at a time.
Seeking help was the best thing that ever happened to me. As a black man I made sure I found someone that looks like me he didn't have too grow up where I grew up but I had to interview him, you just can't pick anyone. A few of my favorite gospel songs doesn't hurt either.
That is so beautiful. Seeking help really helped me as well. And I completely agree. That is so real. You really have to interview your therapists. It is so important 💛 Thank you so much for sharing!
@@AleciaRenece I’m about to look but do you have a some interview questions you used!? I have a family member starting her therapist part of her journey .
@@ladiepink Three question off the back, I was married at the time. First question are you married with kids? Who are you? where does your people come from? I'm Black American and all Black people ain't the same.
@@ladiepink some good questions to ask could be: what modalities do you use? What type of issues do you specialise in? How would you describe your understanding of XYZ issues and what approach do you use to support clients with them? (ie LGBTQ, migration & displacement, SA etc)
Im tired of being the strong Black woman, Im tired of being resilient. Im tired of ppl watching me beat the odds. I am not a superhero, my life is not an inspiring badass movie. Ive been stuck in survival mode my entire life.
Yes I have depression because of my marriage. My husband left me for another woman. I’m tired. My parents divorced when I was about four years old. Thanks for sharing.
"Reslient" I've heard that word used to describe myself on many occasions. Before I even understood the meaning behind that word I'd hear it (6/7 years old). I had to find a way to survive while being surrounded by people who should have protected me. Resiliency is not a flex😩
Same and Not At All!
Great topic.
Reading and understanding the Bible for oneself is much different than someone else telling you to “pray it away.”
The Bible speaks about anxiety and worry, but there are some Christians that overlook it as if we’re not human. Instead of working / or trying to understand the root cause, they would rather skip over the struggles and straight to the happiness, which doesn’t happen like that.
We’re human. It’s okay to feel emotions. Even when those emotions are uncomfortable. We just need “wise counsel” as you said.
Janell!!!! Yes to ALL of this! This "pray it away" mentality is honestly selfish and wrong. The care we are to take with others to not dismiss mental illness, grief or suffering as an inconvenience is so important! The scriptures literally say to seek that counsel out. We are so deeply steeped in shame that so many are afraid to reach out. We are not super human. Toxic positivity will make it seem like the one suffering is the problem. It's truly heartbreaking. 💔 I'm sending you so much love today.
Thank you.
Thank you for your story Its very encouraging for what I am experiencing 😊
I am going through a course on Christian Mysticism and it's surprising how many of us there had the experience of having our physical or mental illnesses dismissed, minimized, or shamed in the church. But I am learning that this default response is a result of bad theology and the worship of character traits over Christ. I am glad there are teachers, brothers, and sisters in the Church that get it and don't try to hide Christian suffering like some shameful secret.
That is so terrible that you were violated by someone you thought was a close friend! You confided in her and shared the most personal information in such a horrible way with people.
Her screenshotting your messages about your feelings is a total violation. Some people truly lack any kind of compassion. And some of these same people use religious texts to justify why you're wrong. Ugh. ☹️
I never felt so exposed and violated in my life. That experience was really hurtful. And I know there are so many other people who have experienced that same thing. 😔
@@AleciaRenece What really pissed me off about this was the mean girl/I'm a good christian way she went about things. People like her truly rub me the wrong way so much that they don't even have to say anything. You can tell by my body language that I must keep my distance! For real😀
I’m watching this after my therapist recommended that I think about medication treatment. Our stories are very similar in that I wasn’t given space for my pain growing up. Even now the validation of my feelings from those around me is somewhat nonexistent as I’m labeled the “strong friend”, but many don’t know that behind this smile is a pain so deep and so heavy. I moved to another country away from my home and life is catching up with me. I can’t run from myself anymore nor my pain. I pray to God daily wondering what this is all about and why this is my story with answers that never come. Believing is hard right now. Breathing is hard too. But this video and your words provide some comfort. Thank you for your transparency and please say a prayer for me❤️
Hugs❤praying daily I get through this as well
You’re not alone sis I want to express my gratitude for bravely sharing your story. It's unfortunate that so many black women, including myself, struggle with depression but often hesitate to speak out due to the stigmas surrounding mental health. However, true freedom is found in accepting and sharing our experiences, as well as finding the treatment that suits our unique biochemistry. I'm deeply sorry to hear about the challenges you faced. I hope you find a supportive community to hear your concerns and validate your emotional existence.
Every time I get depressed, I get out of it once I remember to not take like so seriously. I’ve also learned it’s a necessary part of life. The problem is we’re forced to work everyday so we never get to address what’s causing our depression.
Your music feels like a hug for the soul, and your story mirrors my own in many ways. Thank you so much for sharing and taking away yet another layer of shame about what we as black women go through mentally.
I am so... 🥹 Overwhelmed in SUCH a great way! 😭🌻🌺 What a generous and lovely compliment. Thank you so much for being so kind and generous. These words really encourage and uplift me. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Much love and joy to you!
I'm revising this message from the original tine it was poated,I know that I'm depressed,my youngest daughter is depressed and I don't get rest.The good thing about it is that I will keep going because life is a gift even when we feel depressed,I don't want to give up.
I had been told that before, I am more fun or nicer when I drink. Lord knows, that hurt me more than ever. I am the most loving but I was not able to show that in a sober state of mind because of depression and anxiety. Oh lord, you hit that on the head. Alcoholism runs deep and I literally have been in a state of freeing myself from that. I am so grateful to God for releasing me. I PRAY that all of those dealing with this get the help that is needed, lean on the lord during this transition of facing the thing that came across as easy. Take the hard road because you become more polished after it is said and done. God be the glory for all. You are worth the time to take in making a change within you, seek the lord through all things. Praise him!, Man this video was soooooo needed. God bless you love.
Thanks for your transparency. Sometimes I get so tired of being "strong." I've been going through something for over a year and a half and there seems to be no end in sight. The more I pray the worse things seem to get. I'm exhausted mentally, physically and emotionally.
I see you and celebrate you. I totally understand. It can seem like there's no time to rest of be weak or weary. I'm praying you rest and heal deeply. Much love and joy to you!
Sing... singing...
One day I was searching videos from Louise Hay and saw something about how to break negative thoughts. Towards yourself and others. And if the negatives thoughts come, to think of "yellow flowers". Think of moments of happiness from the past (for her it was yellow flowers). She also suggested a song amongst other things.
My brain immediately went into jukebox mode and started to sing "anytime you need a friend, I will be here..."
It almost felt like magic. Almost as if I was singing it to myself, as my eternal friend.
Singing, sing... ❤
Thank you for your transparency! People think that it's "sinful" to have depression. It really can be a chemical imbalance! Childhood Post Traumatic Stress Disorder is real!
“My heart is breaking but you can’t even hear it because you won’t listen” so powerful
Thank you for sharing your story. God bless you ❤
I'm so glad to see a beautiful black woman telling her truth on mental health. I just started seeing a psychiatrist and got on meds. Diagnosed with moderate depression and anxiety. I'm 57 and all the things you said about a strong black woman are true! We're supposed to be the back bone. The church thing you said is right on point. I've been going through this all my life and just now getting help. I'm ashamed of that. Thank you for this video. The song is beautiful!!
Thank you so muuuch! You're so sweet and kind! There is no shame. None at all. We do better when we know better. Have grace for yourself. You're doing the best you can. I'm sending you so much love!!! Thank you for being so generous with your story. It's healing and helpful!
I rewatching this I wish I could get a counselor. I also had a counselor in college who seemed horrified when I told her my basic day.
Yes! That can be so difficult to navigate. And I really want to get back into counseling as well. I gotta save up my coins and my energy to interview therapists.
Thank you for sharing your story Alecia - it was a vulnerable space for you to be in. Your courage is beautiful and I pray that this story helps others that are struggling w depression or anxiety. 🧡
Zennah 🌺 thank you so much for listening to and honoring my experience. It means a lot to me. And thank you for your prayers. It's my hope as well! ☺️💛
year later i still come here for comfort and validation ♥️
I’m sorry that you went thru so much...and alone. Your sharing your story gives another black woman permission to get the help she needs.
And you’re an incredible talent! I could listen to you sing all day. Oh, and I emailed you.
Ahhh! I will get back to you asap. Please forgive me. I've been resting and reflecting. Much love and joy to you! ☺️💛🌺
im going through anxiety, depression, and stress and doesn't feel good at all.im getting a counselor and psychiatrist. im ready to heal and choose me first
This was so edifying to watch. I have depression and I been saying it for a while but I don't think I truly accepted it until recently. Mainly for similar reasons you stated in your video. Thank you for sharing ❤️
Thank you so much for hearing my heart and holding space for me! 🥰🌻🌺💛
Wow, what a beautiful song! I have watched a few of your videos this past week but never heard any of your music. You have a beautiful voice and this is a gorgeous, haunting song. I can remember being deeply depressed when my daughter was very young, both because of life circumstances (both past and present) as well as hormonal issues. I wouldn’t categorize myself as depressed now, but I probably could benefit from therapy because I’m definitely still not ok due to things I experienced in my life. I have also learned how to do the things I need to do to keep myself in a more positive state of mind (fresh air, exercise, proper rest and eating healthier). Those things do make a difference, and unfortunately we often don’t take the best care of ourselves when we are depressed.
I love individuals with voices like this. So soothing, calming and like a hug. That's what I enjoy about songs... It's a hug that reaches to hold and caresses the soul. Sometimes in ways you didn't know you it could impact you...or need in ways to be held.
The song is making me cry. It feels good to cry, I don't cry much. Certainly a much needed cry.
Thank you, Alecia ❣
My soul is so moved by this. *BIG HUGS* it is my absolute pleasure and joy. Much love to you!!! 💛💛💛💛💛
This video really hit me during a rough time ❤️😢, so glad I came across your channel today!! Anxiety and depression is rough, but I know I can make it easier for myself 💯
Exactly where am I right now, feeling like a burden to everyone who reaches out to help me go through this, I literally pushed everyone away just because I can’t be a burden to anyone.I really don’t see the way out of here but I really want to be fine again and happy .sadly I can’t barely speak about it because of the fear of being stigmatised by people who think that a black woman should always be strong for herself and the people around her ( loved ones)
This song is so beautiful. You know I have stop singing. I need to start sing more. I definitely understand. I hit my rock bottom two and half years ago. It’s difficult and lonely when you feel like you don’t want to be on this side of Zion. I am glad that The Most High God in Christ directed me to therapy. I have been in therapy three years this year. The journey is long, but I work on it everyday one day at a time.
Alecia, you are a blessing. Thank you so much for sharing your true we us.💕🙏🏾💕🙏🏾💕
Multi-tasking is a form of escape! Always needing to be around people and help people so you don’t have to be “by myself”. (“You so blessed, you got both your parents and look how long your parents lived. At least you were married 40 years before your husband died cheer up). Thanks for sharing!
Ngl tho these days its hard to find adequate counseling. But maybe its just where I live. I tried so many ppl and eventually gave up cuz counselors r just ppl and they still view us thru their own bias. If theyre nonblack ( Ive had white and indian) they still dont c us as fragile and human, if theyre blk and not of our generation theyre view is jaded by how they were brought up. I gave up and decided to just work thru things on my own. I found one decent guy. He was white and seemingly gay. He was great. But he was a student and at some point he left and I wasnt able to find out where he went.
You're truly an inspiration, sister. I want to express my gratitude for bravely sharing your story. It's unfortunate that so many black women, including myself, struggle with depression but often hesitate to speak out due to the stigmas surrounding mental health. However, true freedom is found in accepting and sharing our experiences, as well as finding the treatment that suits our unique biochemistry. I'm deeply sorry to hear about the challenges you faced, particularly the emotional and physical abuse. I had a similar experience with my ex-husband, as well as the gaslighting that invalidated my feelings. It's heartbreaking to be made to feel like a burden, causing emotional shutdown. You’re the brave one for sharing, people who fake being strong often are the ones who need the most help.
Wow. This is so deep and thought-provoking. I'm glad you're dealing with your depression and anxiety. I've been suffering from depression and so is my husband. Thanks for sharing your thoughts and experience. Also, the song is absolutely beautiful 🤩
I love the song it just made me feel so good. THANK YOU❤❤❤❤🤍🤍🤍
I’m speechless when it comes to your video; just amazingly touching and relatable. So honest. The song is beautiful. Thanks for sharing.
So glad l came across this conversation on today. As someone who grew up in a very legalistic church and also suffered abuse and neglect l can so relate to your story. Add to that being a black woman in a society that so easily disregards, diminishes, and devalues our pain that can make it even harder for us to face the issues we deal with. Thank God for people like you who create a safe place for yourselves and others to talk about our struggles and how to overcome them. Battling depression and anxiety is very hard it doesn't just involve changing the negative thinking patterns that came out of our trauma but also dealing with really painful emotions that we have surpressed for so long in order to learn new ways of coping which takes time and commitment. For those of us who are still on our journey of healing sending peace and love. ❤❤❤
I recently broke up with my boyfriend almost three weeks ago, it was my first relationship and what I thought would be my only relationship. I didn’t realize how unbelievably sad I would be, I wake up sometimes with heaviness in my chest and just like I’m all alone….. I started self harming for the first time and I’m honestly suicidal sometimes…. I was dealing with my brother been abusive towards me while dealing with my break up and it was a lot… I sometimes don’t know how long I’ll be in the life but it gets a lot sometimes
Alecia, gorgeous song. Your voice is so beautiful. I can totally picture “Sing” on the soundtrack of a movie or HBO show. 💖
The song and resources provided too 😢❤!! THANK YOU 🙏🏻
It’s on us to survive and we Christian’s are so blessed we “can’t complain” and you raised to believe “if you can’t say something good, say nothing at all”! So not fair for you and not right for the church to look the other way because you got God and a smile on your face. I am so sorry you experienced this. I have an inkling about how you feel, similar for me minus the alcohol…maybe my adversary was/is the food…you gotta eat, right…everything else or every other escape is too socially unacceptable and I can’t afford it!
I burst into tears during "Sing". Hope you're doing good. Live long and prosper.
How am I only now finding your channel? You’re such a light and my goodness Sing sounds so beautiful ❤️
I'm sorry that your friends didn't have your back. It's effed up. That feeling of feeling crazy and almost wondering if your crazy for feeling crazy the shame fhe guilt all of it is alot. And im sorry you faced it alone. When you said my heart is breaking but you can't even hear it because you won't listen 🤍 thanks for all the healing you've done to even have the courage to share this. So many layers so much depth. Continue taking care of your self. Much love and respect 🙏🏾
I am so grateful you created this channel! I 100% identify!
Thank you for ALL OF THIS... including "Sing" ... like a healing balm our younger foremothers made as they got over the mountain and could just see the 21st century, but still with a big dollop of that balm our elder foremothers got in Gilead mixed in ...
Wow. Deeann. Such beautiful words. Thank you so much for sharing these with me. This imagery is so warm. This has been so encouraging. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. ☺️💛
I really loved this video. Thank you for you transparency and sharing your journey. I’ve been struggling with my mental health for years and as a black woman it’s so hard finding that safe space to talk about it. I can feel the judgment, stigma and pity from people and it’s insult to injury. I’m so happy to see more black women speaking openly about their mental health journey and prioritizing our well being. We can be the support system that we need.
My story is similar to yours; childhood trauma from an abusive present-absentee father that caused a lot of anxiety and many life challenges like being the first born girl in Africa and the heavy responsibility that comes with that, problems with integrating into society's idea of success especially when it is not what i'd choose for myself but society requires (having a degree in a country with a very high unemployment rate), being the primary care giver to my father who i already had emotional issues with and dealing with physical health conditions that doctors can't diagnose. I got depressed but we are fixing it; between God, therapy, a psychiatrist and medicine, we should get it right. I heard the same things you heard from christians: where is the place of God when you go to therpay and take medication, everyone is struggling etc
I loved the song at the end
*BIG HUGS* I see you and completely understand. I'm sending you so much love!
@@AleciaRenece Thanks Alecia, I am sending love back to you as well and prayers that you will also completely heal
Thank you for being so open and sharing your thoughts and experiences. I wish you the very best in the future ❤️.
Thank you so much for hearing my heart. It means a lot. 🌺💛☺️ Sending you so much love and joy!
I feel you in everything you said in this video and the part that really irritates me is. Like you said you are there for everybody, so much so that you can’t be there for yourself. When they have a problem your right there for them. You have a problem they tell you how they wish they could help and they do basically say it’s your fault. I get this all the time... then the only advice is well your just negative. If you stop thinking so negatively then things will work out for you, or another one that truly upsets me is “ the only one that can change the situation is you” then I think to myself then I’m doomed because time after time I’ve tried to change the situation and everything I do fails. It just got to the point where I was convinced that I’m just cursed and only bad things will happen to me...
I am just coming across your channel and this video. Thank you in advance. I suffer from anxiety, long periods of stress, and have dealt with depression but depression undiagnosed. And I am functioning. I am also a Christian. And although some people say they understand or have dealt with anxiety or depression, the next breath they as well as others say pray about it, you need more faith, everybody has anxiety, etc. Etc. Sometimes I just hate talking to others and wish I can just stay quiet and to myself.
Oh I also worry about what people think, often overwhelmed, and am an introvert. But the way I function, a person has said you would never guess you were struggling. Or because I talked and was engaged in an outing that I guess I couldn't be shy either.
*BIG HUGS* You're definitely not alone. And I am sorry you're suffering with this. It can really be frustrating when folks say stuff like "pray about it, etc." It's like, "I have been". That is definitely not helpful in the moment. I think some people just need to learn to listen and make room for people, not fix it. 💛 Much love to you!
@@AleciaRenece thank you so much for that encouragement and hearing me! I appreciate it. It is disheartening when people don't hear you or truly want to understand what you're suffering with. And I really appreciate your channel and I encourage you to keep going! Much love to you, also!💛
Thank you Alecia for sharing your story. I went through a similar experience between 2019 to 2020, it was hard, particularly being shamed into feeling depressed and suicidal. New Subscriber from the United Kingdom
I'm sending you so much love and joy to you ☺️🌺💛 I completely understand how that feels. I'm so sorry that you went through that. That's heart breaking. 😔 I'm so happy you're here.
❤️ Great video as always!! ❤️
Small ramble...
Toxic religion, toxic positivity, toxic spirituality...not over here! Not having it!
Having a diagnosis of any kind does NOT make you weak. Baring the burdens of everyone else? Not me, not here. I have had a tumultuous childhood myself and even at the young age of 9 one of the things that I knew about myself was that religion was a NO. I see so many believers out here living FOUL and treating others FOUL too. Also, as a kid I knew it was never my fault for being treated how I was treated. Even now as an adult I feel the same way. People want to project their frustration, anger, WORK, hopes and dreams onto me and for what? My mental and physical strength will always come first, period.❤️
Thank you so much! And I completely agree with you. Toxic positivity is the absolute worst. It's uncaring and unkind. That's definitely one of the major problems I see in the church and in every day culture. 💛
@@AleciaRenece It is truly legion. I feel disgusted most of the time and I am really trying to become more indifferent towards that mindset and Muricans in general, honestly.
Totally agree. I was 7 when I realized religion was a NO.
Wow. Thank you for your courage and obedience. I resonate with you so much. May the Lord continue to bless you 💗
AND I LOVE THE SONG "SING!" You are a B-e-a-utiful person with an amazing voice ❤️ 🙌🏽
God is good. Today was a tough day wit my depression and i found your video. Being strong and loving your self thru trauma isn’t easy and hopefully ill stop crying soon. 🙏
that is a great friend Im also a believer but major depression cannot go without counseling and meds You are so brave thanks for sharing
Alceia, thank you for being so vulnerable! Thank you for creating this space. God allowed me to stumble upon this video as confirmation that I should continue this journey.
As always, thanks for sharing
you don’t even know how much this video in this song truly blessed me the last two years have been extremely hard for me considering I was on a high for about four years I listen to your song I wrote a poem the first time in almost 2 years thank you
Thank you for this!
Thank you for speaking on such a personal subject. It shows me I need to think deeply, pray, and be mindful of what I say to anyone going through things, and the importance of at least just being there for them. I'm on my own mental health journey as well, but we're all unique, even our pain, so our strategies to manage/work through anything we're going through would be diverse as well. Your song was beautiful and soothing.
Thank you so much for sharing! I am so grateful to have stumbled across your channel. I am a huge advocate for mental health and this video is so relatable. Thank you!!
So much of your story was mine. BW suffer from depression more than folx think. I'm a social worker... despite that, I've struggled with my mental health. Currently being evaluated by my medical doctors to ensure it is SAD or persistent depressive disorder.
It got worst when I tried reaching out to my friends who, in the past, complained I was never vulnerable. Once I tried to lean on them, they expressed concerns because I was "weak" or "not sure" like I always am.
I knew I had to tell my psychotherapist and PCP when I was overwhelmed with suicidal ideations, deep despair, negative spiraling thoughts, unworthiness, guilt, and shame for 3 hours. I worshipped, prayed, and cried through it. I was mentally and spiritually drowning. I couldn't even get to work.
God, my pschyotherapist, my partner are the only ones I can speak to about it. They're my safe space because my friends are currently in 2 camps: (1) tells me to pray about it out (2) or make me feel unseen/ unsafe when they tell me I'm not being myself because I'm not sure, strong, and etc.
Thank you for your transparency. Great song!
Bless you and thank you for sharing this... I can relate ....all to well...
Omg yes, I have been trying to verbalize what you have just said, so well for always and now. Thank you! I just subscribed and am binge watching you!
You and your music are amazing. Thank you for your message of hope.
I felt this 100%❤ it’s a blessing to be here after feeling that. I felt this and it’s no game or it’s nothing to joke about I’m happy we are still here sis🙏🏽 and thank you for your story
I relate to you so much it makes me want to cry. I really appreciate you and your videos. ❤
This entire video was so beautiful, and personal and transparent and honest. I'm touched and moved by your sincerity Sis! I only wish that I can get to a place where I feel the same resolution that you demonstrate. And the song is now my go-to for the low moments. TY 🙏🏼
Trust me, it has taken TIME and WORK. Also, I'm not my best day to day. I take each day as it comes. Sometimes, I don't feel like doing the work. It's a process and it's not linear. I'm sending you so much love and joy!
I’m new to your channel! You’re helping others ! Great content here….👏🏾👏🏾
This is such a beautiful song! Thank you for sharing it with us!
I am taking this song with me. Thank you kindly. So glad I found this channel and community.
This story is so relatable. Thank you for sharing. 🤗😘
Love the song at the end❣️ beautiful voice ❤️
Great message, especially the song!
Greetings Beautiful! I am back again and watching your depression story for the third time. I wanted to drop a message this time that I received as a teenager from my Great Grandmother. I'll never forget the day she said, "We all need therapy. " Talk about something that stuck with me. In essence it was the permission I needed to embrace it when needed. As a Navy Veteran living with my own invisible disabilities, it has been quite the challenge because like yours my depression and anxiety didn't look like what others felt that it should look like. In essence I became an "over achiever" and "work alcoholic" living with OCD and a constant need/strive for perfectionism. It wasn't until I was blessed with my sonshine that much was revealed and I couldn't figure out what was happening to me. I was only acceptable as a person who was responsible for making life better for others and frowned upon when I began to share what I was feeling. I can so relate to always having to be...s t r o n g for everyone else. There is not a day that goes by that I am not working through it with my whole life in view. Love you and appreciate you and your presence 🌻. Blessings to you always 🙏🏾.
CARLA!!! You're amazing *BIG HUGS* I really appreciate you so much. Your support, your vulnerability and courage. You inspire me.
@@AleciaRenece 🌻💛.
Thank you for sharing your story.
This is so powerful. Thank you for sharing your story. It resonated within my spirit. I was in counseling a while ago for a few issues and have seriously been thinking of going back. That strong black woman syndrome is real. New subscriber. Your fantastic Queen. Thank you for sharing.
In tears! Beautiful song and beautiful, raw storytelling.
Hearing your story and your truth is like a breath of fresh air. Thank you for this because you have no idea how much I relate to your story and hearing you talk about it gives me hope. 🙏🏾❤️
Thank you for sharing ❤!
I really needed this. Thank you so so much and I’ll definitely add you to my prayers.
Thank you soo much for sharing your story!! I related soo much to this in so many ways!! My thing is just moving forward in a world where you should just take your beatings in life but still be the same jovial, nothing bothers me type of person.
I love your voice. Beautiful song. 💕
Wow...what a blessing it was to have stumbled upon your page today?!. I know you...I am you...and, I appreciate you for being so transparent and telling the truth of so many, including myself! But, your voice and that song though?! #superdope👌🏾🙏🏽💜
Beautiful song. Tears. Sharing. Thank you. I'm glad ur still here.
Thank you for sharing Alecia.
Thanks so much for sharing
All Praises ❤ thanks for this video and the song
Love this! Thanks for sharing your story.
You are a beautiful human being.
Thank you- I feel seen.
💗🙏🏽💯
Your voice is transcendent. Your song moved me to tears of both joy and painful recognition. You are so gifted.
Thank you for sharing.
This gave me hope to see brighter days ❤
I know this was challenging to do, but thank you for sharing your story and being open and honest about a topic that's a real struggle in our community. I love you and believe in you. Thank you for being such a light, darling.
I love you so much! Thank you for all of your love and support in my journey through depression and anxiety. I know it affects you too and you still choose to love. Thank you. 😘💛🌺
@@AleciaRenece 💚💚💚💚💚💚💚💚💚💚 You're my lady 😊
Your love & support for your wife is admirable.💯
Thank you so much sis ❤️🔥 the song at the end was just a cherry on top 🌟✨🦋
Thank you for you candor. 🖤 so happy for you
Thank you for sharing sis! You make me happy. I pray God send me godly local friends. My BFF lives in another state and different time zone so it would be nice to have a local friend.
Wow what a song, literally crying. I feel like finally… someone gets it.
Hi Alecia, I Hope you write a book because you really are correct on this topic. You express yourself well.