The Psychological Effects of Feeling Excluded
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- เผยแพร่เมื่อ 7 ส.ค. 2024
- For a full blog post and links to the cited research, go to: socialpsychonline.com/2015/11/...
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Feeling excluded has psychological effects beyond simply feeling bad. Social rejection reduces your sense of belonging, self-esteem, control, and meaning.
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i get this deep pit in my chest and i'm tired of it and i just want to cry forever.
Spiderman same
NOX AL HAJJ MALIK I hope you go on to be a strong, reflective and caring human unlike those that make fun of you.
ye i know, you should stay strong and don't give a fuck about them, they are the bad ones. im 31 now, and i was too ostrasized alot in school, and i had the best grades too. i realize they are not worthy to be my friends, i deserve better people, real friends. i think they are enemies actually, they just don't dare to outright attack us but they secretly wish bad stuff for us.
It really hurts too ;-;
, like my heart just drops n I start to choke up
Awww it’s ok Spider Man you’re ok
It's suck to surround yourself with people who make you feel alone, whether you consider them relatives or friends...
No Name smh I’m going through that right now and I’m going to focus on other things since I need the feel of being important and socially accepted... I felt this deep though
I agree to this so much.
true
Being the middle child is just being left out 24/7. And then in school I feel left out all the time too so that dosen't help
i hate my life so much, i try not to cry in front of my friends so i go to the restroom and bawl my eyes out. when i’m done crying my eyes don’t turn red or anything so it would look as if nothing had happened. and my cousin is such a one upper, but she’s probably the only cousin who actually cares about, even if she is fake
also, it hurts even more if you don’t know why you’re being excluded.
Exactly
Hi Julie 🙂. I feel sorry for you. It's sad if you're actually being excluded. I know people can be very cruel sometimes. If you want, I can be your friend. It would be a pleasure for me. In case you wonder, I just want to make new friends. And I also like making people happier.
@@Senorjuan18 Hi! I'd like to be friends! I care alot about people too!
@@arvindthegamer8944 hi! Glad to hear that! So, how are you?
@@Senorjuan18 I'm good! How are you! How is life?
Some people have huge hearts and they are kind but then they’re the ones that are excluded
Exactly! It's always the nicest people that are treated the worst
Yh Ik 😔
I've always been kind to my friends and never let them get left out, but they can't do that to me. They can't even check if I'm getting left out or not.
@@hmmmonke1522 same with even my family...
Welcome to my life. It was instilled in my brain to be the worlds biggest sweetie pie to everyone around me. It only got me kicked in the teeth at the end of the day. It got me outcasted in my school years. I was bullied beyond words. I would never harm someone for the fun of it. That’s what I was used for.
I guess we're all here cuz we all felt the same pain
People need to understand that ostracism is a form of bullying. Recently, I’ve been having a lot of people tell me that it’s not. It is, more than they know......And if not, then it’s even worse!
yeah..
This thing happens to me for 20 years with no reason
I feel the same way too
Shawn Chavez I’m sorry :(
I hate being left out, it has happened to me all my life, but now I'm getting used to it. Loneliness is now becoming my friend. I know that sounded edgy but that's just how I feel.
Your comment reminds me of the 60s song "Sound of Silence" by Simon and Garfunkle. "Hello darkness my old friend.....
I've come to talk with you again
Because a vision softly creeping
Left its seeds while I was sleeping
And the vision that was planted in my brain
Still remains
Within the sound of silence
Thats exactly what i feel like... Thats so sad
I feel the same
Lol me too.... Getting a job seems much easier than making a friend.
Reese Daniel Omg I analyzed that poem in my English class a few weeks ago
The worst part is when they still wanna make you feel that you are good but still exclude u
Relatable 💯
Yep. My siblings
I've had hiring managers and their secretaries do that to me. It's even worse, and awkward when they genuinely try to boost my morale, help me improve my job getting skills, and then make excuses about how they'll never hire me. It hurts bad when they build us up, only to tear us down, then Ignore us.
Yup. "you are one of the most important to me" and the only one who was constantly made left out by that friend, we could have been great friends
Till to this day I dont understand why she felt the need to exclude me since she still wanted me in her life and liked me. I think she was hiding something, probably was fooling around with everyone.
@@susanna8612probably mad or jealous of something you have or something about you that they can’t obtain. Usually it’s something super petty that only they really know. It’s probably a self thing for them. It does suck though :/
The worst part is when you catch on that your circle of friend is excluding you, and instead of being honest with you about it, they insist nothing is going on and just let you believe you are crazy.
So true
Omgg that made me so crazy. I felt like they were lying to me. Honestly I whished that they were honest because it's obvious that they didn't like me so why faking it orghh
thissss is exactly what happened to me..
sooo accurate !
I have experienced this yesterday ...
everyday i feel excluded by my friends. i don’t think about leaving them bcs they’re the only “friends” i have so um ya I hate my school life.
update: omg this comment was 4 years ago?? but anywayss i’m in a much better place now! :D i’m in high school now, i have new friends and they’re all really kind and funny :) and for all the people replying to my comment, i promise you that it does get better babes
Gina Cerda exactly
I'm 53 and it doesn't get any better when you enter the adult world. If anything, it's much worse. More subtle, passive aggressive and vicious.
bangtan sonyeondan are living memes Same...even if my depression increased. Sorry if I was late.
I feel the same
I feel you
He makes it sound like a temporary condition. But for some people, it isn't.
So true. I feel like I have an invisible sign on my forehead that says: Ignore me and Disrespect me and another one on my back that says: Stab Me. An invisible sign that only other's can see but I cannot.
This is soo true, I have been excluded since primary school, it became worse at University.
😥😥😥😥 People just disrespect and undermine me. Some don't take me serious because of my height and not value my opinion it hurt like hell. I feel like even when I start working this exclusion will follow me. 😖😖😖
Then why are they here
Yep unfortunately for some people, ostracism is a lifelong social disease they're forced to endure because nobody will even give them the time of day..
Suicide can look really good the longer one is left out of human contact.
What’s the point of breathing, bathing, working, trying to make friends, etc? Of course we self-evaluate, we adapt to the perceived ““in” crowd rules”, we TRY so damn hard...or we take it down a notch, appear aloof, indifferent. We try all possible combinations...still nothing.
Being excluded or used as a convenient friend but only until someone else shows up.
that hurts but i learned to prevent that.
@@marcrobertrsanantonio.7762 How?
@@dorkistan6344don't make friends
@@dorkistan6344bros gatekeeping
:( if ur watching this cause your lonely, socially awkward/outcasted I’m so sorry you have to go through that. It truly does hurt but know there’s a lot of people like you and we all understand. You’re not weird, and there’s nothing wrong with you.
ty for this ily
Thanks for the message
Maybe a little but those people aren't my friends that's why they don't invite me
This comment hit me harder than any other comment I've read on here and I've been sifting through for an hour just to find some comfort. Thank you ❤😭
I see a lot of "don't blame yourself" when it comes to being ostracized. I don't blame myself for being ostracized - I harbor envy and hate for those who ostracized me. If this is who I am to be - an individual, an independent, a lone wolf - then I see no reason to treat others with kindness. As far as I'm concerned, they don't deserve it.
i envy all the characters in stories that have a group of friends they trust and go on adventures with. i want that so bad
I know I feel you on that bro!
Same!!! Like I watch this TH-camr that’s a junior in highschool and she seems like she has great friends and is included, I wish I felt that.
Cries in hp
Same
I want that too
it sucks even more when you see your "closest" friends slowly be pulled away from you. they become more interested in other people. you can never seem to fit in with them now. they act like they don't care about you...
i know how it feels
its my toxic cousins trying to pull my only favorite cousin whos there for me away from me :(
And when they do text you, it’s so bland now, it wasn’t as it used to be, like texting me was a chore or something to get out of the way, and then they stop texting me for weeks until again with a bland how are you? Thing, it’s so painful but I’m getting used to it😞
This! And it happens at any age too! It really sucks and it’s like you can see it and they can’t and if you explain it to them they pull away even more.
Or when they stop talkin to u and no one wants to inform u that they dont want to be friends w u. N u are the last to find out after long period of time and no one is contacting u back.
it makes me so angry and upset whenever I talk to a group of people and no one acknowledges me. It makes me wanna know what im doing wrong but I dont know. its a type of pain thats hard to describe
The fault is with them, not you.
I really suffer from social exclusion from work. It makes me feel like my job is in jeopardy because I am not liked by my colleagues and that results in scape goating and bullying. It's terrible
@@siphokazin.7552just leave if you’re being scapegoated, work somewhere else where the people there acknowledge you, your existence and your efforts. I wish the best for you.
Story of my life. I am so used to it that it doesn't affect me anymore. In fact I expect people to be like that to me. I find it shocking when there are people who are interested in me and want to include me. It's a way of life for me. You will eventually become numb to it. The good thing is I don't gravitate towards people and I like my own company.
Yeah I would constantly cry whenever a family member or a friend would leave me out. But now I have myself and dont need anyone else, I dont live this life for others but instead for myself. Sometimes being alone isnt so bad
Whoever is reading this I don't care who you are , just know that you are loved and , you were here for a purpose and just know that !!!♡♡♡
Thank-you so much.
Just the feeling of loneliness just eats you up inside and I guess you just like assume nobody cares but I wish there were more ppl like you understanding and thank you so much for caring 💕💕😭
Stfu
I needed that. Thank you so much
that's a nice thing to say but can't take it seriously. if you knew me you wouldn't say that
People who ostricize others, are emotional bullies. Main reason why there's so many mass shootings. People get tired of being treated unfairly and snap, think about it!!!
This is so true. And this is also the reason for most, if not all, suicides.
Reese Daniel Facts!!! God bless
You hit the nail on the head .
I completely agree with this. Everyone has the potential since loneliness and depression are such a epidemic. Just choose the light and be peaceful
Exactly! And you wonder why villains exists in comics movies etc as well! The world is cruel!
I've dealt with this feeling my whole life, it hurts so bad sometimes. I can't help but take it personally, eventhough I know I don't deserve this. Nobody does.
Same. I'm feeling it now. The band I'm in, including my oldest and best friend, seems to ignore me and doesn't take what I say seriously. I've had people sit in and watch our practices and when I ask them if it seemed like I was really being ignored they agreed. It's like my voice doesn't cut through or something. It drives me a bit nuts.
This is always happening to me. When you are giving too much of your kindness, and patience, but when there’s other people who’s cool, or important, I get left out, and the people I love, they don’t give enough.
Yes. I feel this. I know for a fact that I regret anything nice I have done for anyone, ever. It's that severe. It's exhausting being the giver. I don't want to give anymore....i need to be a taker...
I always feel excluded
Joni Kupolati Same☹
I’m sorry. I feel excluded not by my friends but by my family . I’m the ghost of the family
Same. I don’t remember the last time I was truly happy
@@amyyang9323 me too
@@Penn.obsessed i always feel rejected in school
Being rejected throughout high school has been a huge factor in worsening and probably causing in the first place my depression...
Matthew Ferrie me too
Matthew Ferrie Yep same here. It's even worse when you go through the same thing in college too smh.
Matthew Ferrie mine started at the end of 6th grade
Matthew Ferrie get over it.
The Ghost Dog: Spoken like a true narcissist.
If they reject you or ignore you, know that they have a lost a great friend....
Being rejected is a good thing, it makes you realize how much you get things done alone🙏🔥
when i think back through my life so far i’ve realized that i’ve always been left out in my friend groups, in some form or another. now i’m beginning to question whether something is wrong with me, and why this keeps happening to me.
There's nothing wrong with you 🙂. The others just don't understand you . If you wouldn't mind, we can actually be friends. It would've been my pleasure.
It’s good that you are looking at the pattern because we are part of each interaction. I did this and it helped me to acknowledge that I was putting myself around people and in environments whose ideals didn’t match my own; the inevitable and painful result was exclusion.
I’m not blaming myself (or you) for being excluded just being real with myself about possible reasons why. Time to find new people and environments where I can thrive.
I know it may sound cruel, but reading so many people get rejected makes me feel a little better. Like if I wasn't alone. I hope you all have a great day (:
Right??? Like we should all form a meet up!!! LOL 😘
I’m commenting on this cause it doesn’t have many replies and I want someone to see this
My friend is going through slit right now and my friends are only paying attention to her, my best friend just makes her problems seem much worse than mine like if I tell her I’ve had a bad day she tells me she’s had a bad week. I feel like none of my friends care about me and only care about everyone else, I’m literally tho only friend they’re rude to. Also if I ever tell my friend that I’m nervous about something she tells me I shouldn’t be because she had doesn’t and it’s not that bad. She also is constantly telling me I’m being racist or sexist or something. She leaves me out a lot too. She just moved to my town so I’ve known all of our friends for years and I feel like they would choose her over me any day.
Thank you for reading I might cry and it feels good to tell someone how I feel, it’s kinda made me feel suicidal and I just want to get it off my chest.
@@HiHi-tn5gc I hope you're still here and that life is better!
Truuuuuuueeeee ❤️
Fuck you , telling us the have a great day , you don’t know shit
My throat gets dry and my belly goes empty and I feel l am falling in dark pit
Queenie Grace TRUE
That is the best description ive ever heard
And then loads of tears and running or hiding
I like your avatar, that dope
grace this is so accurate
I used to have a lot of friends that genuinely seemed to enjoy my company, then all of a sudden they just started excluding me from activities and ignore me when I say something in a conversation, I have no idea what I did to make them suddenly not like me.
I’ve realized that I’ve never really had a single friend who wanted me to be part of their life. I always had to invite myself to hang out and if I don’t make the efforts to keep in touch I never hear from anyone.
You got to understand that you broke the no contact rules. If that person never agreed to be your friend, you must not invite yourself. They can report you as a stalker. #1 rules of making friends is not to invite yourself to anything. If you know you never had a single friend and you start to invite yourself, this action is exactly why they look down at you. You should never chase people in the first place. Truth is you should never waste time keeping in touch when they already don't want you. Think about how the cold callers thinks in their heads. They don't even like their jobs. What they do is initiate a call and they experience the peer pressure of keeping in touch with people they barely know. They have to figure out what to say in a short amount of time. Don't trap yourself in a competitive world. What you should be doing is not care about them. Don't put yourself in a position where you have to act like a cold caller. Cold callers initiate a call but does not even know how to start a conversation. Even if they somehow start a conversation, they end up lying about their service and finding themselves trapped with a promise they cannot even keep. Then they beg or pretend they never had any red flags.
I'm a grown adult and this still happens to me all the time. It really sucks...
Jessa James I feel like the older I get the more it happens lol
I feel ya man
Same here. Went back to school as an adult and feeling it so bad. Everyone is friendly to each other and I just feel cold and detached. No one talks to me or makes eye contact with me. It's like I don't even exist.
That sounds like my experience at work. I started working for this NPO three months ago, and I've noticed that everyone there is cordial to everyone else but me. It seems like they just tolerate that I'm there. Sometimes when I greet them, they ignore me. When I cross their path, they give me a dirty look. And I keep asking myself, "What's wrong with me that they feel the need to treat me this way? What am I doing wrong?" I dread every Monday having to face another week in that environment. I cannot wait until my contact is over with that company. 😕
Maria Sz hi Maria, we have this in common! I’m now a loner, I keep to myself! I don’t go where I’m not welcome! Regards, Bob,
I hate this feelings. whenever it hurts so much I would cry, and I have a strong personality so crying is rare for me. nobody actually cares and they never give chances
These monsters are not human and they are not worthy of you. True humans do not get enjoyment from causing their own kind pain. These creatures are only human shells full of demonic spirits.
Same
Same
I know that feeling. I think I'm just universally unlikeable. that's the only thing that makes sense. I've tried so much and yet gotten no real success
Same
I feel like I push people away, subconsciously, I never know what to say and it’s like they expect me to make up a funny joke or something. I am looking more into this subject and I didn’t know so many people have felt the same thing, it amazes me about how many times this type of stuff occurs for a lot of people.
i cry almost every night because i always feel left out and lonely. which led me to searching this video
I wish my friends could see how leaving people out really affects them
They are not good people to continually torment and hurt a person. We are better off without these groups of bullies and be glad we don't fit in with their cruelty towards others. We need to stop trying to fit in which only continues to be harmful.
They don't care, which is why they leave people out in the first place. 😕
Is it sad that when I feel excluded from anything I just play music through my headphones and imagine what it would be like to actually have people acknowledge my existence?
This comment is so relatable. Exactly what I do..
Me too
so relatableee omgg
Omg a RELATABLE COMMENT!!!
Then I would have a whole music video imagination going on in my head and I would act them out XD
To all the people that feel left out just remember that one day those people are gonna be wishing you could notice them when you’re successful so keep working towards your dream😌
Happened to me yesterday. I was in an environment where I was consistently ignored and marginalised so I left. Bumped into someone from that environment while I was sitting on my phone. I became aware of them way before they were aware of me and sat on my phone shopping. When they noticed I was there, I could feel them glancing at me, checking it was really me. They said my name (quietly) and I ignored them and carried on scrolling.
When I came home I felt a little bad for ignoring them but when I thought harder about it I wasn’t ignoring them I was simply guarding myself against negativity.
They had years to prove otherwise with their behaviour, yet they didn’t. So why I’m expected to acknowledge them when I’m set on being around positive people, I don’t know! 🤷♀️
That's not gonna change anything. Its better to just leave and stop thinking karma will hit them. Just move on
I hate it when people make plans right in front of me, but don’t ask me if I want to go. It’s really awkward, and I feel like shrinking into the floor.
😔😔😔😔😔
Same
How do u overcome it
People who do that are inconsiderate. I once said that I would like to join in and they acted like they didnt hear me. Shame on them
I've been like this for years when people at high school don't engage with you socially and you wonder what's wrong.
TSG Spartan Yep!
TSG Spartan You're not alone in how you feel. I felt excluded from social groups a whole lot. You have to just focus on yourself and try to find others who will accept you for you.
Everyone excludes me!!! I’m sick and tired of it!!
Birds of a feather flock together. Or more aptly put: serpents slither together. These serpents far outnumber real humans. I know it hurts because I'm also going through it and have been for 53 years and counting but the truth is, you are BLESSED! You are not of the serpent seedline. You are a pure human whom they hate and envy so they invalidate and ignore you to make themselves feel better about their defective genetics. Read Psalm Chapters 37 and 58.
tiango!!your into it too!!
I’ve been excluded most of my life and struggle immensely with my mental health
It does make you feel crazy and like you have a "problem" but the truth is, you are normal and these hive minded people (which are everywhere) are the one's who have the problem. It's just that they greatly outnumber those of us with a good heart, kindness, empathy and integrity. And those are the reasons they target us for exclusion, to make us feel "unworthy." But THEY are the unworthy ones. All this is written about in the Bible and they don't teach the truth in the so called "churches" you have to read it yourself. Start with Psalm Chapter 37 and read some of the words of King David, who also got treated the same exact way by these "workers of iniquity."
@@reesedaniel5835 thank you for this 🙏
How are you hanging nowadays ?
I am 47 and remember social rejection since my earliest memories.
You will move on. And you will regain your mental health. Try and let go of fear and go and join some groups and force yourself to meet new people. You can do it :-)
I used to have a bunch of friends that I treasured and felt grateful for it. However I started getting left out by them recently. I wasn’t getting invited for group lunch or outings. This complicated feeling has been with me for weeks and now I felt so uncomfortable when it gets to socialising with people. I would mind my words and try saying something funny to improve my social bond. Careful and observe for their expression and movement. It’s so stressful to socialise because I’m so afraid that some tiny action of me would made them feel disgusted or some other bad feeling. This feel sucks because it’s so not me and uncomfortable but I don’t know what to do anymore.
So how did you get a bunch of friends back then? Didn't you have to impress them and gain their trust? Didn't you have to come out of your comfort zone at the time you made a bunch of friends? I am sure if you know you must make new friends, you most likely have to do what you did back then to gain a bunch of friends. I am sure when you socialize with new people, you have to watch for your own red flags. However, just having a friendly conversation with new people should not hurt. You can even settle for them as your socialized group and not be friends. With new people, you can just talk to them and expect nothing in return. Just like you are here to comment in youtube. You weren't expecting anyone to be your bff. All people will do is just give you some conversation.
Exactly how I feel
I've been excluded my whole life and now I have severe depression because of it
🤗❤️ I see you! You are worthy!
I've been through this for so long. More than a decade. I feel like the damage is permanent.
Naz Idoura me too man. Half a decade.
Same. My best friend met other friends. And ever since I just get left out of everything. I honestly hate them now.
I feel ya buddy
Naz Idoura I feel where you're coming from man. There is no reversing the hands of time. You just have to put up the broken pieces of your life that others have shattered. Fuck society man.
Yup, old friends think I'm a loser, girls laugh at me and one once pretended to date me just to laugh at me with her friends.
Yeaah the last 15 years has told me is it isn't going to get better and is just getting worse
People who say "life gets better" are people who have never known true depression and despair
I'm always being rejected by ppl... my hurt runs deep
By looking at your picture I think it’s cause you are pretty. People are jealous of you cause you pretty and they see you as competition so therefore they want you around them most of them social rejection is stemmed from jealousy. People are jealous of the person they are excluding
Holmes thanks lol but they say I'm mean and that hurts because it's my social anxiety coming through..I'm on medication now to try to control that....
I really pray everyone who’s viewed this gets the peace and love they deserve and laughs so hard their stomach hurts and feels such a deep sense of joy and belonging that they can’t help but cry tears of joy at night
" “Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you and learn from me, for I am gentle and humble in heart, and you will find rest for your souls. For my yoke is easy and my burden is light.”
- Jesus
(Matthew 11:28-30)
If only we seeked Him and trusted Him every aspect of our lives, and watched as He changed it all for His glory and our good
I am 46 and at work, I STILL see adults doing this crap. I do not know what it is about people, but they keep up the "high-school-clique-huddle mentality. They do it on purpose too. They form these groups where being a part of a team is as important as setting criteria to exclude others from being a part of that team as well. Honestly, to say or try to do anything about it just makes you (me) feel and look desperate. I guess, you really just have to be "your own best friend"-surround yourself with a couple of people who have proven true over the course of time. Keep in mind, that the problem is not you, it's their insecurities that keep them running for the "safety of the herd."
I understand this so much. I face it all the time. Being social is the most important thing to most people and the ones that are already good at it, crave even more. It's power.
Betsy Collins: And we know where the herd ends up (in the slaughterhouse). Better to be a lone wolf.
I feel excluded on daily basis. It hurts more when it's done on a mass level to make s others feel they have control over your destiny. Its so shallow and inconceivable that adults do this and because it actually works at belittling they get a high off of feeling of control. Its sick and ive lost faith in the human being,religion, and question everything all the time im in pain.
It’s evil. That’s what it is. And selfish.
@Realist Please don't, God said in this world we would experience troubles, we can't run away from that. Give Jesus a chance, by accepting him into your heart and turning away from your sins and believing He is the Son of God. I'm not perfect , not one is. He loves you and wants you to live. I never fit in in high school or middle school, I'm a senior in college (and I stick to myself). I don't even fit in at work either. How do I make it? Well, Jesus gives me peace in my heart and happiness that no one and nothing can give me in this world.
It feels really bad. I thought I had this big group of friends and I was happy and they started leaving the group chat and having sleepovers and going to movies and then posting it on their Instagram and I would see what they were posting and then see their bio and they have each other's names but mines not on there
Isabelle Lizanecz I’m always left out of group chats, I’m never invited to birthday parties or just hanging out. And they’ll just mention it around me(especially one girl who constantly causes drama and seems to target me passively) I like my friends a lot, they have similar mind sets as me and accept me, they just don’t invite me
No they actually enjoy it and feed off the pain they are causing. This is what gives the "group" power. It's "food" for them to cause someone pain. Best thing is to go no contact with them completely. Let them be "dead" to you. Stop looking at their social media. Stay off of instagram and fakebook (narcissists paradise) Stop feeding these beasts.
Im so sorry for you. I used to have friends who liked hanging out with me. But I was put in the hospital for almost half a year and I didn't tell anyone that I was gone and the thing is, no one asked what happened to me. It was like I had never existed. I decided to call my best friend and guess what. She knew I was in the hospital but she never called me to. Now that im back i always feel excluded no matter what I do and I always try to act in certain ways to get people to like me and its basically killing me
I can sympathize with you so deeply
I saw this thing on Snapchat of one of my friends were putting down her closest friends and it had all who consider close friends except me and I kept on looking at it and it really hurts
In spite of everything, turn your scars into stars. Life is not fair and neither are people but you have it within you to make yourself happy so put yourself first. It's not about being selfish, It's about caring about yourself first, when you're happy, others won't matter. I love you. 🤗
In response to being excluded, you make friends with people who you think are nice, only cos they keep you around, but they may be as bad as those that bully you directly.
this is true
I feel that my friends that i have are leaving me out if everything 😞😢
JAKEY 259 ik how u feel M8 :/
Nope. Those are not real friends. Leave them, focus on your self care day by day and genuine friends will pop up.
Me too and they are not even sorry about it
JAKEY 259 if I knew you and if you are in school I would definitely be there for you.
JAKEY 259 I feel the same way I cry every day because of it and wonder what is so bad about me that I’m never included in anything
I feel left out everyday with my friends at summer camp and at school and feel like everyone hates me. All of my friends already found other friends and they have 1 million inside jokes and I always try to join their conversations they ignore me
Savannah Leanne uve always got yrself
Find new and better friends. But don't fall into the trap of marginal people because they're just as bad if not worse. They're cult-like. Try to find good NORMAL people: NOT shallow and NOT outcasts. They're both equally BAD in their own different way.
I know what you mean. My closet friend for 5 years just started hanging out and bonding with someone else that I call my friend. Now they act how we used to as best friends. And it’s so sad that he doesn’t realise what he’s doing to me and this new guy is loved so much by everyone my the group. I felt like I was part of this group at one time but now I feel like I’ve been pushed out. It’s the worst Becuase they’re all still your friends
@@argamer1422 nah they aren’t your freind just people who also are too lazy to update their social circle. When i left many of my “freindships” i realized they only continued because I pumped life into them. Many people are shells and don’t live for themselves
I have been somewhat of an outcast all my life but I take it as a positive thing, because of that I had time to figure myself out and become independent to the point where I have get people coming to me for advise and many other things. I no longer have social anxiety amongst any group of people, I am comfortable with silence or asserting myself in any given situation. I watch people interact almost from a third person point of view and I see their strengths and weaknesses a mike away.
I pretend I don't care and then eventually I don't care 😊 if people want and chose to leave me out then that's on them not me. It is what it is - find better people rather trying to fit with those whose actions speak volumes.
My whole childhood!
I was that kid who played alone during recess and never got invited anywhere.
Me too.
Same
I have been bullied my whole life. I tried to protect myself by staying away from people, but the rumors and stories became more elaborate. It followed me in my career, and has destroyed my adult life. My family has jumped on that band wagon, and I honestly have no friends, no safe place, and no one who cares about how destructive this has been. I don't know how to protect myself, or reach the right people. I have no idea what the rest of my life will be, or what the meaning is for a lifetime of turmoil. I read, I like music, and I was just bullied at work and threatened. They called me "little miss over achiever", and laugh everytime I talk. I am 35, and am at a loss.
Same
They are jealous of the potential you hold. Never lose that light. I hope you are okay❤️
That’s exactly what I’m going thru, except I have a gf whom is very supportive and is always making sure I feel ok. Wish everyone the best and soon recovery from this
Your case is almost like mine , I thought am alone in that ,,,,me I started facing rejection from primary school , highschool , collage ,, relatives also rejecting my family ....my family also got domestic issues which also make me question why I had to be born there....no one understands me ,,,I am always scared of even job I haven't gotten yet ,,,am scared that I can get that job then the employer start to hate me and fire me for no good reason...I don't know how I can deal with that.
God has a plan for you. Go to the Him, please, He will save your life, trust me. Jesus died for you and He will give you the best things He prepared for you ❤️
I been dealing with this 100 percent. You can't make people like you . Why bother trying to convince them you have something superior about you when all they will do is still ignore you and clown you.
My freshman and sophomore year of high school before I moved, my best friend and I were considered “popular.” You want to know why? My friend and I would walk up and talk to any and everyone, together. We felt more comfortable and secure in each other which made it easy for us to befriend almost everyone. We didn’t believe in excluding people and that’s exactly how we met. I looked shy, and so was she but she had the guts to randomly talk to me. Other people stayed in their groups but we bounced around from group to group everyday because that’s how it should be. What people considered “loners, jocks, emo, preppy, nerds, ghetto, special education,” you name it, we did not care! We ended up getting treated so well because of that. I wish people would understand that concept more to treat others how you want to be treated.
That’s one of the most beautiful things I’ve read recently. Thank you for sharing 😊
I be feeling like I'm a ghost.
It hurts me to hear that. Can we be friends?
I experienced social rejection all the time when I was younger. My face just didn`t really fit anywhere. I gave up on people years ago. I don`t need them.
I have been left out when I’m literally standing beside them. They ALWAYS talk about things they were doing when I wasn’t with them. I know it sounds like I’m just jealous and that’s exactly what I’ve felt. “WHY ARE YOU SO SELFISH?!” Is a thought that comes into my mind at least once per day.
It’s like every time I feel excluded a knot in my stomach gets tighter and tighter until it feels like I can’t breathe. Like someone is strangling me or like someone siting on my chest making me cry.
Everywhere i go its like this with me too!
They talk about things they have done where i wasnt and im unable to JOIN the conversation and i just listen.
@@autobahnwaybab7608 this happens to me all the time
All i can say is, it's painful and hard to be surrounded by fake friends who don't care. I've ruined so much of my mental health over people I thought were my friends. But not anymore. I'm trying to move on.
Same! I’m completely alone now..don’t know where to look for anyone..
My whole life I've felt alone. Never being able to fit in,feeling socially awkward,bullied throughout school was torture. Even now as a 23year old adult I feel even worse. I don't have much of a social life and trying to figure out how to function as an adult is difficult for me. Sometimes I wonder why I even exist
Same! How are you now?
@@tytoalba3333 Same old same old. Just turned 26 and still figuring things out but I'll get there. Thx for asking🙂👍🏿
Hi How are you now?
Meh still figuring things out
I feel that too, I think we give too much priority to our surroundings and thats the root cause of it maybe. If we don't give priority then we wouldn't expect anything from them, think that we don't expect anything from cats and dogs, if they misbehave with us, we don't get hurted, because we don't expect any behaves from them. I think that's would be the solution. Otherwise, I'm still searching the exact reaaon. Sorry for my bad Engliah mate.
I'm a loner by Nature I never thought this bothered me. but as I come out of a relationship with someone I realize What Hurts the Most is rejection being excluded. and it takes me back to a Time when I was younger and I wanted to have friends and make friends people never really saw me. I feel like I became a loner because it was safe. it was better to be by myself then to be rejected. I don't like attention because I'm afraid I'll be rejected so I rather not be seen it all.
I get everything you wrote perfectly its as if you where tallking about me
This is how i feel.
I feel exactly the same way. I get anxiety when I’m around others cos I don’t want to sound silly and I don’t think I’d add any meaning to the conversation. So I’d rather keep quiet. But I want to be apart of things, I yearn for it. I just don’t know how
me too. but then i get sad when people ignore me
Hello!Interested in a new friend?I live in Georgia,married,into fitness,journaling,sunbasking,reading,facial masking etc.
I used to be in a big group I felt left out I just didnt like it I felt they're talking about me so I left and now I just have one close friend and it's better than having a big group who are just hypocrites
I was bullied through elementary and middle school on a severe level, like literally the whole class had a problem with me often for no reason.. and when some of them didn't, they listened to rumors about me that weren't true and left me.. it kinda made me feel unhuman for a while cuz I was a cheerful and energetic little girl.. I kinda feel like I don't deserve many things and always try to be within the range of people that accepted me.. I hope one day I feel worthy enough for myself
Now I'm more drawn to things I can be engaged in but not directly, like celebrities news and online Fandoms for a show, you know.. short term commitments, they don't have to know much about me to laugh at a joke I tell.. maybe that's why I don't have many friendships that last very long and assume anyone interested in me has been dared to do it or is doing it as a joke lol
I can be your friend if you want to , i also dont have any friends
When you been a victim of a bully, it is not the time to look for people to accept you. I mean think about this. Have there ever been people who stand up for you? How often do people even stand up for you? If the answer is none, then you know that you have to love solitude life first. You need time to create a positive image so that way if you make friends, you can sell yourself. Can't expect people to accept you out of pity. Many people who had been bullied would rather settle for solitude life. While being bullied, it isn't a time to jump to looking for new friends. They aren't going to depend you from bullies that often and they don't owe you anything. Part of feeling worthy is to learn how to accept solitude life first.
feeling excluded makes me feel empty for some reason, and it hurts
I feel you.
I've been left out all my life. Friends, family, churches, and society have ostracized me since the day I was born. I get left out of family reunions, church events, etc. Friendships don't last, they tire of me quickly. I'd take Tylenol if it made the hurt go away.
@@nikkigulayan3754 liar.
@@nikkigulayan3754 Look dude positivity will not help. I dont need empty platitudes from you. I dont want your fake promises.
Geez
Tylenol will make you worse. It means that you're letting them win by getting addicted and suffer from the adverse effects of it. Don't do it.
Maine Coon: Tylenol and all the various addictions and attachments don't remove the problem and pain, only subdue one's feelings and distract us. One also get lazy or weak-willed and tend to stop working for real change and healing with medical drugs. it is a treacherous temptation, apart from addictive and hard to get off.And messes up the bodies' own wonderful natural chemistry production and interaction. We have all we need to heal, and have only to get back to our natural spiritual origin life with our creator. This is hard to get and to do, since we most of us didn't experience it, didn't observe it in adults to imitate, didn't learn it and very few talk about it. We have got more and more estranged from natural life and our true beings, not least our spirit self and it is not a small thing to find and develop it. But verý rewarding for life if we do.
I've been left out of everything in my life. Even my own family treats me this way. It doesn't matter what I do, how I do it, or ever try. Nobody love no one. Everyone is selfish. You all just use each other to make yourselves look good.
You matter
I feel like a convenience friend. I read a ton of these comments and you have all described how I’ve been feeling around all of my ‘friends’ for the past months. They walk on and leave me, and don’t even look back. No second thoughts. My once best friend doesn’t tell me anything anymore. She tries to ignore me. She has a new best friend. I don’t even think she wants me around anymore. As for all of the people who I want to be friends with, they’re already such a tight knit, incredible group, and I don’t know how to even begin to approach them. Im nostalgic for something I’ve never had.
Wow, that is pretty profound - "nostalgic for something I've never had". I can relate; rejected my whole life.
I feel like my social group makes me feel excluded forgotten it breaks my heart and feeling unappreciated worthless I cry often
Those so-called friends at work who did that to me were not invited to my wedding. And I did that on purpose.
Good only invite people that you care for and they care for you back 100%
Hahahaha! Revenge is SWEEEEEET!
I often feel like I'm so different from most other people that it's easy for them to miss understand my feelings, leaving them to unintentionally hurt said feelings. I used to be able to handle it fairly well, but now that I'm older I think I somewhat resent people for stunting a large portion of my mental health for what is most likely a miniscule portion of there own.😓
I always try to involve everyone in whatever I do, but recently found out that people have ebeen plotting behind my back and also making fun out of it!!!
I do not know but when I feel rejected when I feel that nobody speaks to me I feel sad 🙁 and with anger that makes me want not to talk to anyone! 😒 and I start hating everyone and not caring 😠😠
If you want. We can be friends.
Life can be cruel,
I'd rather die than to be shunned
@T Streeter same here
Same
I'm tired of being left out, it's just ... I only have my internet friends... And they are always ignoring me like I don't exist. They seem so happy without me. Once I talked, they just ignoring me and will continue talking to each other. I feel left out, but I'm getting used to it but.. today, I don't know what happened... It's just hurts so badly now and I'm starting to cry.
There are good days and bad days. Sometimes we NEED to cry, catharsis may help. You deserve to live and be happy even if completely alone! Find joy in hobbies, media and art. Try to focus on positivity as much as you can but there are times when we need the sadness to get back to the joy later.
I'm always left out. And when I try to talk they still don't talk to me. I hate my life
*Here's a message for everyone who's feeling excluded:*
If a close friend stops hanging out with you or communicating that much, the worst thing you can do is to crawl back... Trust me I've tried it multiple times.
Instead, start working on YOURSELF - find what makes you happy, do yourself favours and spend time just with yourself. You'll start to feel happier, more confident and independent.. Maybe, you won't even feel like spending time with that "friend" anymore.
And once you start living more on your own (without that friend), you'll be happier, but your friend will realize he lost something he had been taking for granted and maybe he'll understand how much he was ignoring you :)
I've been rejected so much by my friends and family that for some reason. It's so bad that when I had a lucid dream, I asked my ex to cuddle, and she said no. It's like my subconscious mind hates me now too. I can't even escape the pain in my dreams. I now fantasize about being rejected. It might be because I want to feel emotion again. It doesn't really matter though. I feel like I'm not even in control of my own life anymore. I just don't want to die alone.
I want to hug you bro
Your lucid dream is a sign telling you that you have to move on. Remember that you and your fiance broke up for a reason. If you go back to your ex, it can trigger negative images again and that will lead to more misery. The dream may have to remind you why you had to go through the breaking up process in the 1st place. So it is a sign you must move on. If you were to find another fiance, you have to already move on from your ex. The next person needs to get an impression you are not trying to date 2 women. Part of being ready to date a next woman would mean you have to let go of your current ex. If a new girl gets an impression that you are still attach to your ex, it will sound like you plan to cheat. That lucid dream is most likely remind you that it is time to move on. Otherwise if you tried to get another woman to date you, she will think you are trying to trick her into being a homewrecker and will have a good reason to reject you. It is a sign that you must make yourself available to date and it starts by not going back to your ex.
been excluded so much that it has become a normal feeling.
I have felt unwanted and excluded forever. From my parents telling me they couldn't wait til I moved out of the house, my siblings and cousins all trying to get away from me, multiple failed relationships where they just jump into another one afterwards like I never existed, to social groups where I never felt like I fit in. I guess the difference is that I refuse to become someone else to fit in...although I did try that in the past....and failed miserably, never measuring up anyway...and in the process I started to die inside because I wasn't being true to myself. I'm now 56 and still wonder why the hell I'm on this planet!
i relate
I'm sorry that you had to go through this. I hope you are doing just a little bit better right now
I relate
I wish godcompensates in a beautiful way to you :)
I truly feel for you. Keep strong.
I try to stay cheerful and try to have fun, but at each year, there's a breaking point. My mask is cracking. Tell me how to make a new one. I don't know how to express feeling rejected for my whole life. I want to have friends. But they just leave me for other people as if I'm invisible. There's no fun if you don't have friends even in a fun place.
hey its been 2 years.... does it get better like maybe yours now not in school anymore... does it get better after school. Im so sick of feeling left out and i'm in 10th grade...2 more years ig ;-:
I would rather be left out by some people. I am highly confident and independent. I could care less. I have a select group of people that I choose to associate with.
My heart hurts so much! It’s a sucky feeling to be around people who hurt you without having a clue or never ask you how you feel at ALL
I have been going through this from so many years. Before friends ignored me, now I'm so hollow inside I ignore even good friends, in the fear of being ignored at some point. The pain never goes.
Yep that’s my life. Excluded in everything, both from family and outside .
Same , it happens to me a lot
**Don't let your own desire for a sense of belongingness with others, get the better of you**
In the final year of school my group of friends began to get up and leave whenever I sat down with them. At a b'day party, they left me all alone at the table even though I said I felt humiliated, and pleaded them not to leave. They later invited me over but locked me out and started laughing at me. It was awful, and this went on for the entire final year of school
Ontop of this, during the same time, my other bestfriend told me I was an embarrassment, mocked/laughed at me, called me fat and unfriended me on fb. At the same time another close friend blocked me for the whole year and cropped me from all her pics. I couldn't take it anymore, I began locking myself in the bathroom cubicles crying. It was painful, like literally painful.
In my final months of school, I was convinced there was something wrong with me and sat away from everyone. During this time, everything began to feel numb and disconnected and I resorted to self harming to avoid this feeling. I went to university the next year, but the numbness continued, and I had to drop out. I was later diagnosed with clinical depression, and went on medication for months before recovering.
I also can't bare this .....I feel like I should be at home....no meeting other people...no social rejection...but we have to goo out ... this is life😞..I feel like there is no existence of mine😔...and I hope you are good now!
I completely understand ,I isolated myself for years ,also have clinical depression and anxiety,I was never bullied ,just ignored entirely
I have anxiety and depression, my friends don't understand that it hurts a lot to say they don't wanna play when my ankle is amost broken
Mirror Mirror, on the wall”
“I just want to be pretty and tall”
“Mirror, Mirror”
“If I cut my hair, maybe somebody will start to care”
“Mirror, Mirror, If I starve myself”
“I’ll be beautiful, forget my health!”
“Mirror, Mirror, If I slit my wrist”
“Maybe I’ll feel like I exist”
“Mirror, Mirror, Don’t you see?”
“What you show is ruining me...”
That's metal af.
@@quietgiant474 this comment was like from a year ago idfk what was wrong with me back then💀
Those are sum fuckin bars
Friends just texted me “they don’t want u to come sorry 🥰” and I just started crying cause I never feel like I belong 😕
There is a huge difference between being detached and being excluded. It may not be anything at all except you may be growing at a different rate. People change and sometimes we don't change with them. It's actually simple. Learning how to accept this fact is often heart breaking and if we're not careful we may blame ourselves a bit too much. It's never a loss when you lose people...It's a loss when we lose ourselves.
people seem so nice on tv but when talking to a real person its kinda painful and thats why i could never imagine myself talking to anyone.
I have defriended people on Facebook because they ignore me. I can tell because they answer their other friends.
I did the same thing. I never got a reply from my two former best friends (they don't know each other). I sent them messages since we got separated because of work, but were only Seen. I am tired of exerting effort and trying to rebuild the friendship. We're in our 30's. I thought we'd be friends for years. 😞
These narcissists do that on purpose so they can "ignore" you better. It's just another one of their little petty games. Best to get off of Fakebook. It's a hotbed for narcissists and their fake "wonderful" lives.
finally someone like me lmao 😂
i deleted numbers of people who ignored me..it feels better that way
I just deleted 3 people off of my list of friends. They are all toxic.
Story of my life. It's been my pain since I was a kid. I was never part of group or anything of the sort. Never understood why I always get rejected. Even when I did martial arts, nobody wanted to partner or practice with me. I always go out alone and do things alone. Many have said that I'm boring among other things that hurts. But you know what, one day they will all be very very sorry, GOD will make them pay for hurting me.
I can talk if you want, I feel similar.
@@a.k.9404 sure
So how does it work? Is there a way on TH-cam? I had to re-search through this thread forever to reply to you! Haha!
@@a.k.9404 NO idea lol
@@a.k.9404 lol click your notification >>>🔔
I always get left out but i still smile in the outside so no one would worry hopefully na one in my life will see this
🥲i feel u
I'm 56 and this is still happening to me.
Iam 19 and happens all the time
My parents and family ate dinner without me . I don’t know why it hurt me so much
Literally same lol, my siblings and parents are always leaving me out. I don't even know why I'm a part of my family.
That’s exactly how I feel, I feel like I’m not even part of my family anymore
And I will put enmity between thee and the woman, and between thy (the Serpent's) seed and her (Eve
s) seed; it shall bruise thy head, and thou shalt bruise his heel. Genesis 3:15 There are two different "seedlines" on the earth. The seed of Cain and the seed of God (via Adam). Both seeds can be within the same biological family. The evil seed of the serpent (Cain) always persecutes the good seed of God. Jesus is our Kinsman Redeemer. He will rescue us and redeem us if we follow Him in truth (not mainstream religion which is a trap).
you are a sexy unique blonde.
If people choose to abandon u, then never choose to abandon urself
I was bullied and excluded from physical networks for most of my life, at school and during my adulthood so I realized I later adopted a maniacal tendency to depend and incline to high society networks and I felt like I needed their acceptance no matter how unreachable they were.
All of your comments are making me cry... I hope you all feel better...
I've been struggling with this for a long time.:(
We Are The Fearless you're not alone. You want to be friends?
i guess we just have to learn to accept it? =/
My whole life I get left out almost. Not all of the time, but almost every year I have a few situations where I get left out