Thank you thank you thank you. This is the most clarification I’ve gottten on acceptance EVER. I just found your channel the way you explain things make it so much easier to understand and takes so much pressure off of my back. Thank you so much I understand now ❤❤❤
It's accepting the fact that you're afraid. That it's ok to be afraid and fearful. You can accept you're going to be anxious while doing the thing. You can still take the step even if you don't like it or even hate how it makes you feel. Accept that you hate it.
I struggle with awful anxiety attacks every morning. So much so I dread nighttime as I’m aware I will have an attack each morning that then makes me feel low as i desperately want it to go. I’m doing what you suggest about accepting the anxiety and just sitting with it. It’s got worse, but I know that this is what I have to do to lessen it and teach my brain it’s a response to morning and a trauma ( mornings where the worst) and just my brain now continuing to trigger itself when there is no longer danger. I continue to go to work when my anxiety is so high, but I hope that with time it eases 💜
It's been 2 years of suffering from panic disorder, health anxiety, and OCD. I have experienced anxiety and panic in the form of numerous symptoms but now that I have learned the acceptance way, I'm stuck in the fear cycle. Whenever I get a panic attack or anxiety feeling, I really and immediately respond in fear and that makes all the things worse! I don't know how to control my fear, sometimes I fear a specific symptom even more than the first time I experienced it!
You can stop tying to control your fear. We're never talking about controlling thoughts, symptoms or fear. We're always talking about finding and experimenting with new responses and other options when afraid. You can't just not be afraid. You can only learn that you don't have to be afraid (in this context). That's an important distinction.
@TheAnxiousTruth I appreciate your helpful advice. I think that the only symptom that I really fear right now is having high blood pressure. I relate everything to it, such as a simple headache or dizziness or anything that might be related even with a 1% probability. My ocd thought forces me to use my bp monitor machine, and with anxiety, high numbers are always expected. I'm really stuck in this cycle. Is there a video or specific podcast episode that could guide me through this cycle of BP fear?
Thank you clarifying that. I’ve been at this for 3 years….I was doing so much better and then suddenly I’m struggling again. I was starting to think it’s because I never accepted it. I’ve not let it take back anything I regained over the last couple years, and I have been worried that it’s not enough because I’m not accepting my anxiety because I’m SO afraid again.
Being afraid does not mean you're "doing acceptance wrong". If that acceptance comes with all kinds of explanation, rationalization, mantras, and words designed to convince yourself that the anxiety is safe or OK, that's a clue.
Whenever I have to do something new, or hard, or scarry that triggers me high anxiety, I just force myself to do it. The feeling after I do it is awesome, even if I do not allways get the expected result. In time I started to enjoy this type of "exposure", now is more like an automatic mechanism. I learned this aproach from your videos of course and implemented it in my head, and also a bit from Jocko Wilnik videos. Can you imagine a podcast about anxiety, fear, stress, etc between you and Jocko? 😮
I have put in place break spaces in work and when I get home ( my anxiety is always better at night) that I will do something lovely like make candles etc. I appreciate your podcast so much Drew. I have had anxiety for 57 years and your podcasts have helped me see the only way out is through and I won’t lie, I’m terrified of it, but I’ve been terrified forever and it’s time to accept and work with myself for change, but I’m prepared to feel it and sit with it. It makes me feel less alone knowing I’m not going through this alone. Good luck to everyone here 💜
You should be famous. Honestly the quality of your videos and the information you are giving is master class. Thank you. From the bottom of my heart ☺️
...adopted new simple mantra for Health Anxiety: "...just stop solving problems!". ...also was watching a lot of "Blood Taking Procedure" on YT, as exposure for vasovagal syncope, and procedure went smooth :D
This really is a very difficult concept to communicate, and to conceptualize because there are no steps or techniques for accepting. I'm glad I was able to contribute for you in some way. Thanks for the feedback! :-)
This was very claryfying and I always thought that acceptance was a feeling or a state of mind. In your book you described how it felt when you surrendered, when you were sitting in the car I think with your mother. I think that was one of the things I interpreted it as a feeling. But you say acceptance is an action. But I have come to realise since I do act and don't avoid, I still resist the feelings when.
This can be so tricky because while its good to act and not avoid, if we do that while we grit our teeth and try to not be scared and we hang on tight to prevent some kind of horrible outcome, we're not really accepting, we're resisting . Then we can find ourselves wondering why the "doing" isn't "working.
Whilst understanding the way anxiety works, especially gad and knowing that you've got to try to just do life, I'm left feeling in a 'lost' bit! I'm going about life as best I can but still not feeling that I'm fully immersed and present. it's as if the trauma of all of it and the impact its had has knocked me sideways and can't unsee what I've felt, if that makes sense!
Be careful about demanding that you feel a certain way or a specific kind of experience. Do you have to feel fully immersed to learn that you're capable? Most anxious people trying to do what "non anxious you would do" feel like they are faking it at first. That "not anxious and fully present" state is one that takes a very long time to achieve. Longer if you insist that its the only acceptable state. I can't be certain this applies to you, but this is a common issue that tends to match your question. I hope that helps.
thanks for this video (as well as for those previous and future ones). I've been in this cycle on and off for 4 years since the pandemic and it's really torturing me. Inside those 4 years, there are at most 2 and a half years in which I've somehow managed to do my everyday life. However, when I finished studying (June 2023) and passing the boards (September 2023), I decided to take a rest because I feel like I've been overworking myself and that this anxiety and panic attacks (everyday) I am feeling is the calling for me to take a rest. It turned out otherwise. I thought that I could rest by not working, but it was a torture for me making me feel agoraphobic instead. I almost couldn't leave the house without panicking before during and after going out (especially when I'm alone). I don't know what to do anymore 😢 can I ask for an advice from you?
Hi there. I know you're hoping I will be able to give you broad "advice" in a TH-cam comment that will change things but this doesn't usually work that way. If you search my channel for "panic", "panic attacks" and "agoraphobia" you will find resources and information that might help you better understand what advice would even be helpful. I've written and spoken a ton on these topics so take advantage of those resources as a starting point. I hope this helps!
Hello, I know this is off-topic but does a person with severe anxiety do everything the same to recover if they are taking medicine for ADD? I would think so, but I just wanted to ask. Thank you.
A really helpful video Drew, thankyou. I find the captions quite distracting though, especially with each individual word highlighted. Any way to turn them off?
Hey drew i have a question. If the thoughts related to my anxiety don't pop up but the feeling is still there, how would i go about "accepting" the feeling. Do i just sit with it and go about my day like i normally would despite the nagging feeling?
You got it! Accepting is really just dropping resistance. Does this feeling need to be solved? Does trying to solve it move me toward recovery or away from it? That's a good question to ask when this happens.
If you search the channel for "social anxiety" you'll find a couple of videos. Also, Josh and I covered social anxiety on episode 31 of Disordered. www.disordered.fm/social-anxiety-episode-031/
This doesn't sound like your synopsis about chapter 6 in the claire week's book with holly. I like this version better of acceptance. It seems more realistic and doable. The Claire weeks, the summary that you gave in chapter 6 seemed a little tougher and more strict. I'm gonna try to accept, but I'm not gonna like it because it feels like s*** And that's that I'm not gonna lie to myself and tell myself that I like it or I'm going to embrace it. Because who wants to embrace these horrible feelings? But I guess I can accept it. Does this make sense?
Here in this podcast, you say that acceptance looks ugly. But in claire week's version, she says it looks like you're floating or you're like dancing into a room going slow and water that doesn't sound ugly.
Excellent observation! I have come to the conclusion that if Dr. Weekes had the Internet, she would have stopped using the word "float". The summary of the chapter that Holly and I did is an accurate summary of what Dr. Weekes wrote, but I do not think she was really on target with the way she described things. Acceptance and surrender is not pretty or "floaty" at all, at least when you first try it. Remember that you are listening to something I recorded quite a few years ago. I've had the privilege of hearing from thousands of anxious people since then and learning so much more about acceptance based strategies.
@@TheAnxiousTruth Thanks for the response. I suffer with panic Disorder der and I guess a little o. C. D. But as soon as I listen to your podcast and get something out of it, I have these what if scenarios come up? What if these strategies aren't for me? Cause my situation is too complex. What if I have Gad and I don't have panic disorder. Maybe this wont-work for me. Maybe I have very complex o. C. D and it's not gonna work. So I just threw it out the window and start from scratch again. And that's where I'm at. If I had a few coaching sessions with you, you can set me straight. I just need a few clarifications on certain things as I go about my recovery. I think I'm recovery obsessed right now to tell you the truth. Would you be willing to do some? 1 on 1 coaching.
Generally speaking, I do not agree. I see far too many people that feel like big leaps forward are the way, that ultimately wind up wondering why its not working. That being said, you know you better than I will ever know you. Keep in mind that I can only generalize based on a large number of people that are not you. I hope that makes sense.
Shure!, i was the same. Live your life like non anxious you. Anxiety will be there always im your face, anyway just live as normal as you could. Do not expect anxiety to go away let it be there. Focus on improving your life in small chunks.
Yes, the principles remain the same. Also, search for GAD or Generalized Anxiety on my channel and you'll find more content that speaks to those mechanics.
I have a question if you don’t mind answering so I know that intrusive thoughts can be commands/ statements/images but can intrusive thoughts be sounds as well? Like I get Stuck on a sound and hear it all day and it causes anxiety but it eventually goes away. If you can please answer that would be so helpful for me🙏🏻
If we choose to fully experience an anxious state without resisting it, we are choosing to intentionally face that fear directly. That is what an exposure is designed to create, so acceptance and exposure are not the same thing and technically you can try to accept without exposure, but in my worldview EXPERIENCES are what teach us the lessons in the end. Acceptance is just a way to commit to having those experiences, which are difficult for sure.
Ahhhhh, thank you for this. I WAS stuck indeed thinking this. 😅 It didn’t make sense in my mind at all.. 😂. Now it’s clearer, thanks so much! 💜🫶 For me it’s to accept that (act like) the health anxiety thoughts are lies. I always tried to convince myself “in a feeling way” that those thoughts are lies and wondered why I was still scared despite all the good reasoning. 😅
It's not just you at all! Almost everyone tries to find a way to feel less scared so they can accept/tolerate/float. Glad this rang a bell for you. :-)
![[FULL EP.73] เปิดบ้าน 70 ล้าน "แป้ง Zbing" ยกมาทั้งญี่ปุ่น l เคหสถานบานปลาย l One Playground](http://i.ytimg.com/vi/YBnJhTt07Pg/mqdefault.jpg)
Thank you thank you thank you. This is the most clarification I’ve gottten on acceptance EVER. I just found your channel the way you explain things make it so much easier to understand and takes so much pressure off of my back. Thank you so much I understand now ❤❤❤
It's accepting the fact that you're afraid. That it's ok to be afraid and fearful. You can accept you're going to be anxious while doing the thing. You can still take the step even if you don't like it or even hate how it makes you feel. Accept that you hate it.
Pretty much! I'd also add accepting that you simply cannot think your way into believing you're OK until you experience being OK. Great comment!
Bingo!
I really love your podcasts. I often sit in the car and just listen so I can have the courage to move forward. Thanks Holly thanks Drew.
I struggle with awful anxiety attacks every morning. So much so I dread nighttime as I’m aware I will have an attack each morning that then makes me feel low as i desperately want it to go. I’m doing what you suggest about accepting the anxiety and just sitting with it. It’s got worse, but I know that this is what I have to do to lessen it and teach my brain it’s a response to morning and a trauma ( mornings where the worst) and just my brain now continuing to trigger itself when there is no longer danger. I continue to go to work when my anxiety is so high, but I hope that with time it eases 💜
It's been 2 years of suffering from panic disorder, health anxiety, and OCD. I have experienced anxiety and panic in the form of numerous symptoms but now that I have learned the acceptance way, I'm stuck in the fear cycle. Whenever I get a panic attack or anxiety feeling, I really and immediately respond in fear and that makes all the things worse! I don't know how to control my fear, sometimes I fear a specific symptom even more than the first time I experienced it!
You can stop tying to control your fear. We're never talking about controlling thoughts, symptoms or fear. We're always talking about finding and experimenting with new responses and other options when afraid. You can't just not be afraid. You can only learn that you don't have to be afraid (in this context). That's an important distinction.
@TheAnxiousTruth I appreciate your helpful advice. I think that the only symptom that I really fear right now is having high blood pressure. I relate everything to it, such as a simple headache or dizziness or anything that might be related even with a 1% probability. My ocd thought forces me to use my bp monitor machine, and with anxiety, high numbers are always expected. I'm really stuck in this cycle. Is there a video or specific podcast episode that could guide me through this cycle of BP fear?
Thank you clarifying that. I’ve been at this for 3 years….I was doing so much better and then suddenly I’m struggling again. I was starting to think it’s because I never accepted it. I’ve not let it take back anything I regained over the last couple years, and I have been worried that it’s not enough because I’m not accepting my anxiety because I’m SO afraid again.
Being afraid does not mean you're "doing acceptance wrong". If that acceptance comes with all kinds of explanation, rationalization, mantras, and words designed to convince yourself that the anxiety is safe or OK, that's a clue.
Whenever I have to do something new, or hard, or scarry that triggers me high anxiety, I just force myself to do it.
The feeling after I do it is awesome, even if I do not allways get the expected result.
In time I started to enjoy this type of "exposure", now is more like an automatic mechanism.
I learned this aproach from your videos of course and implemented it in my head, and also a bit from Jocko Wilnik videos.
Can you imagine a podcast about anxiety, fear, stress, etc between you and Jocko? 😮
I have put in place break spaces in work and when I get home ( my anxiety is always better at night) that I will do something lovely like make candles etc. I appreciate your podcast so much Drew. I have had anxiety for 57 years and your podcasts have helped me see the only way out is through and I won’t lie, I’m terrified of it, but I’ve been terrified forever and it’s time to accept and work with myself for change, but I’m prepared to feel it and sit with it. It makes me feel less alone knowing I’m not going through this alone. Good luck to everyone here 💜
You should be famous. Honestly the quality of your videos and the information you are giving is master class. Thank you. From the bottom of my heart ☺️
...adopted new simple mantra for Health Anxiety: "...just stop solving problems!". ...also was watching a lot of "Blood Taking Procedure" on YT, as exposure for vasovagal syncope, and procedure went smooth :D
Ooooh I dig the "problem solving" frame! Excelent!
This was really helpful, thank you. I’ve been working with a therapist about this exact concept. It’s nice to hear it reframed by someone else.
This really is a very difficult concept to communicate, and to conceptualize because there are no steps or techniques for accepting. I'm glad I was able to contribute for you in some way. Thanks for the feedback! :-)
great episode, great way of explaining acceptance. I learned much from this. Thank you
Very glad i found your content dude
This was very claryfying and I always thought that acceptance was a feeling or a state of mind. In your book you described how it felt when you surrendered, when you were sitting in the car I think with your mother. I think that was one of the things I interpreted it as a feeling. But you say acceptance is an action. But I have come to realise since I do act and don't avoid, I still resist the feelings when.
This can be so tricky because while its good to act and not avoid, if we do that while we grit our teeth and try to not be scared and we hang on tight to prevent some kind of horrible outcome, we're not really accepting, we're resisting . Then we can find ourselves wondering why the "doing" isn't "working.
You honestly never miss 🫡
Well that's arguable. LOL. But thank you for the feedback! :-)
Thank you Drew
You're very welcome. :-)
Thanks Drew very insightful content
Glad it was helpful! 😀
I would define that as courage. Not acceptance.
Correct! Acting courageously is the breeding ground for acceptance. :-)
Whilst understanding the way anxiety works, especially gad and knowing that you've got to try to just do life, I'm left feeling in a 'lost' bit! I'm going about life as best I can but still not feeling that I'm fully immersed and present. it's as if the trauma of all of it and the impact its had has knocked me sideways and can't unsee what I've felt, if that makes sense!
Be careful about demanding that you feel a certain way or a specific kind of experience. Do you have to feel fully immersed to learn that you're capable? Most anxious people trying to do what "non anxious you would do" feel like they are faking it at first. That "not anxious and fully present" state is one that takes a very long time to achieve. Longer if you insist that its the only acceptable state. I can't be certain this applies to you, but this is a common issue that tends to match your question. I hope that helps.
thanks for this video (as well as for those previous and future ones). I've been in this cycle on and off for 4 years since the pandemic and it's really torturing me. Inside those 4 years, there are at most 2 and a half years in which I've somehow managed to do my everyday life. However, when I finished studying (June 2023) and passing the boards (September 2023), I decided to take a rest because I feel like I've been overworking myself and that this anxiety and panic attacks (everyday) I am feeling is the calling for me to take a rest. It turned out otherwise. I thought that I could rest by not working, but it was a torture for me making me feel agoraphobic instead. I almost couldn't leave the house without panicking before during and after going out (especially when I'm alone). I don't know what to do anymore 😢 can I ask for an advice from you?
Hi there. I know you're hoping I will be able to give you broad "advice" in a TH-cam comment that will change things but this doesn't usually work that way. If you search my channel for "panic", "panic attacks" and "agoraphobia" you will find resources and information that might help you better understand what advice would even be helpful. I've written and spoken a ton on these topics so take advantage of those resources as a starting point. I hope this helps!
That was very helpful, thanks Drew!
I'm glad you found it useful in some way. Thanks for the feedback! :-)
Hello, I know this is off-topic but does a person with severe anxiety do everything the same to recover if they are taking medicine for ADD? I would think so, but I just wanted to ask. Thank you.
I needed this❤🎉
A really helpful video Drew, thankyou. I find the captions quite distracting though, especially with each individual word highlighted. Any way to turn them off?
Those were generated by the podcast recording software, not TH-cam, so in those videos where is no way to turn them off.
Hey drew i have a question. If the thoughts related to my anxiety don't pop up but the feeling is still there, how would i go about "accepting" the feeling. Do i just sit with it and go about my day like i normally would despite the nagging feeling?
You got it! Accepting is really just dropping resistance. Does this feeling need to be solved? Does trying to solve it move me toward recovery or away from it? That's a good question to ask when this happens.
Can you do a target video on social anxiety?
If you search the channel for "social anxiety" you'll find a couple of videos. Also, Josh and I covered social anxiety on episode 31 of Disordered.
www.disordered.fm/social-anxiety-episode-031/
This doesn't sound like your synopsis about chapter 6 in the claire week's book with holly. I like this version better of acceptance. It seems more realistic and doable. The Claire weeks, the summary that you gave in chapter 6 seemed a little tougher and more strict. I'm gonna try to accept, but I'm not gonna like it because it feels like s*** And that's that I'm not gonna lie to myself and tell myself that I like it or I'm going to embrace it. Because who wants to embrace these horrible feelings? But I guess I can accept it. Does this make sense?
Here in this podcast, you say that acceptance looks ugly. But in claire week's version, she says it looks like you're floating or you're like dancing into a room going slow and water that doesn't sound ugly.
Excellent observation! I have come to the conclusion that if Dr. Weekes had the Internet, she would have stopped using the word "float". The summary of the chapter that Holly and I did is an accurate summary of what Dr. Weekes wrote, but I do not think she was really on target with the way she described things. Acceptance and surrender is not pretty or "floaty" at all, at least when you first try it. Remember that you are listening to something I recorded quite a few years ago. I've had the privilege of hearing from thousands of anxious people since then and learning so much more about acceptance based strategies.
@@TheAnxiousTruth Thanks for the response. I suffer with panic
Disorder der and I guess a little o. C. D. But as soon as I listen to your podcast and get something out of it, I have these what if scenarios come up? What if these strategies aren't for me? Cause my situation is too complex. What if I have Gad and I don't have panic disorder. Maybe this wont-work for me. Maybe I have very complex o. C. D and it's not gonna work. So
I just threw it out the window and start from scratch again. And that's where I'm at. If I had a few coaching sessions with you, you can set me straight. I just need a few clarifications on certain things as I go about my recovery. I think I'm recovery obsessed right now to tell you the truth. Would you be willing to do some? 1 on 1 coaching.
Does taking small steps really matter with recovery, because I feel that big steps with acceptance will take me further, do you agree?
Generally speaking, I do not agree. I see far too many people that feel like big leaps forward are the way, that ultimately wind up wondering why its not working. That being said, you know you better than I will ever know you. Keep in mind that I can only generalize based on a large number of people that are not you. I hope that makes sense.
I am in a constant state of anxiety like Generalized Anxiety Disorder. Does this still apply?
Same here..
Shure!, i was the same. Live your life like non anxious you. Anxiety will be there always im your face, anyway just live as normal as you could. Do not expect anxiety to go away let it be there. Focus on improving your life in small chunks.
Yes, the principles remain the same. Also, search for GAD or Generalized Anxiety on my channel and you'll find more content that speaks to those mechanics.
I have a question if you don’t mind answering so I know that intrusive thoughts can be commands/ statements/images but can intrusive thoughts be sounds as well? Like I get Stuck on a sound and hear it all day and it causes anxiety but it eventually goes away. If you can please answer that would be so helpful for me🙏🏻
Sounds. Memories. Images. Words. Folks in our community experience a very wide range of thoughts of varying types.
Does accept anxiety means exposure therapy?
If we choose to fully experience an anxious state without resisting it, we are choosing to intentionally face that fear directly. That is what an exposure is designed to create, so acceptance and exposure are not the same thing and technically you can try to accept without exposure, but in my worldview EXPERIENCES are what teach us the lessons in the end. Acceptance is just a way to commit to having those experiences, which are difficult for sure.
Ahhhhh, thank you for this. I WAS stuck indeed thinking this. 😅
It didn’t make sense in my mind at all.. 😂. Now it’s clearer, thanks so much! 💜🫶
For me it’s to accept that (act like) the health anxiety thoughts are lies. I always tried to convince myself “in a feeling way” that those thoughts are lies and wondered why I was still scared despite all the good reasoning. 😅
It's not just you at all! Almost everyone tries to find a way to feel less scared so they can accept/tolerate/float. Glad this rang a bell for you. :-)
I saved this episode in my favorites, so I can listen to it over and over again. I really feel like I have to hammer this one in! 😁🫶