Let me get this straight. You can apply for asylum in the UK once you get here, even though there are no legal routes to follow…anyone getting Major Major vibes from Catch 22?
@@taceyoneil But not enough to think they'd ever have to answer a question so obvious one of their own ministers asked it. It's not just evil, it's stupid evil, which is frankly embarassing.
Braverman is still not in Patel's league. Remember her idea of grabbing whichever person was steering the boat and prosecuting them as a people trafficker? Or, before Rwanda, there was sending asylum seekers to Ascension Island? Giant wave machines? But yeah: "It's some catch that Catch 22".
The Tories have been watching the film Catch-22 for ideas on how to discredit asylum seekers! Asylum seekers who can't go to a British Embassy near where they live, apply for asylum and then order a plane ticket and also happen to own a valid passport and just fly over to the 'UK' in the ''proper'' way. Absolutely spot on Matt Green, keep these videos coming.
That was brilliant as always Matt.The funniest bit for me was the teleportation line and I've recently been watching the classic British series of The Tomorrow People (bit of nostalgia from my childhood).Thanks Matt you've cheered me up with this.
Start up an organisation called the SIA, Scottish Independence Army, copy the tactics of the last Celtic country to take back Independence and Control, and it won't be too long. Power is NEVER given away! It has to be TAKEN.
Sadly the colony of Scotland is stuck in abusive Marriage, the 9 of the 11 judges who looked at the right to divorce were friends of the abuser and they all agreed that the colony of Scotland renewed it marriage vows in 2016, and because of that, it could not get divorced ever again! in 2016 the abuser promised it would stop being abusive, and the colony of Scotland decided to give the abuser another chance, but it actually got worse, but all these mates of the abuser agreed that the Colony of Scotland must stay in the abusive relationship because they said so and they know what is best for abuse victim.
You can be independent if a referendum is held and the majority vote for it. The fact that Westminster won't let you have that referendum is irrelevant.
It did bring back visions of Cruella squirming on her chair, looking through her paperwork, ignoring the questioners, and chucked the question at the civil servants she so clearly despises.
Brilliant Matt as always 👍😂🤣 The funniest thing is all our Government have to do is set up safe routes and quickly process immigrants when they arrive. No need for large immigration centres, dubious landlords or expensive hotels. There wouldn’t be a problem then though and it wouldn’t wind up Outraged of Weybridge. They also wouldn’t have anyone to blame for the country’s mess that they’ve created. Mmm…Awkward.
It is disturbing how much of this comedy sketch is practically verbatim what is actually said. You do add some much needed flair and context, though, so I think your job is safe - for now!
Cost of crossing the channel went from €4000 last year to €500 this Summer (Guardian Aug 22). When the cost is an inflatable and an outboard, they're still making money and proably just overfill the dinghies all the more. Sad thing is if the people donated that money to the Conservative Party funds, they'd likely get a visa and straight in on a safe and comfortable Eurotunnel seat.
my heavens matt, you make more sense than the tripe we hear from the uk government, planes trains automobiles boats just no small ones crossing the channel indeed sir, love your skits, always i can't wait for your parodies on the latest muck up lol
The safe and legal route for foreign migrants is to navigate through following directions: 1 evade Sanctions Act 2015 2 evade liability for tax in all domeciles 3 donate to the Tory Party via the treasurer who will layer your money without question in exchange for a seat in the House of Lords 4 show you have a bank account with £300,000 and pledge to push your children through school at Eton
Is it just me or is Dominic Raab actually Jeffrey Fairbrother from Maplins Holiday Camp !!! Next time please put a yellow jacket on when you do a skit on Raab !!!
This would be funnier if you weren't sticking so close to what Suella Braverman actually said. That said, I genuinely don't know how you could make what she said any more ridiculous. Valient effort, parodying someone beyond parody.
You know times are tough when the satirist are basically quoting the politicians word for word. Are we sure this wasn't intentional? Maybe they're not content until they've screwed everyone out of work.
Do you have your access chit? Have you had your chit signed, in triplicate? Have you had it stamped? Oh, and by the way the office closes at 5 so don’t be late because it’s only valid for that day alone. Matt, this is dark satire indeed, when heli-joyrider-in-chief says, “Ye shall not pass!”, then you just have to sweat it out in sunny Kent, or Sussex. More truthspeak from a Minister who really should’ve been red-carded a month ago.
Teleportation it doesn't exist like the legal roots?Yes well..let me pause while I turn to my Aid that will stutter uncontrollably after being put on the spot😯
No mention of the situation whereby on the way to the UK this hypothetical refugee just happens to come to a 'safe' country, so to be legal should apply for asylum there. Botheration,
I have had this thought in the back of my head . What do you Mean. Amd also why must the first country you reach be the one you seek asylum in. Seems unfair to the country that lies on the routes and meaningless for the the immigrants and refuge.
I guess Suella's rehearsed soundbites only work at PMQs mudslinging matches. Braverman's behaviour could be seen at best laughable if it was not so cringingly pathetic and unnervingly incompetent.
A good manly toolbox full of salt of the earth common sense skittery and all, unfortunately as I suspected, true. And, PS... Darn it! So teleportation doesn't actually exist (thank you Matt) - might have to reconsider my week in Skeggy next May in that case now that the trike's been condemned. Admittedly it was a bit small for me. I'd had it since I was five.
Can't laugh at this today , despite it being razor sharp - it's all just too sad. What I want to know is why can't they invest in stopping the people smugglers? They're the ones charging thousands of pounds to vulnerable people - and then they go back out and do it all again. Why can neither we nor the French do anything about *them*?
Also very important is the fact it is NOT illegal to arrive in the UK and claim asylum. The method of your arrival is not relevant.
I've just seen Suella. This is spot on.
Well done, Matt. You have nailed their hypocrisy. The bit about the Met is an added bonus. Here's hoping that you don't get stopped by a Met Officer.
It’s funny because this conversation actually happened in a select committee between a Tory MP and Braverman.
Let me get this straight. You can apply for asylum in the UK once you get here, even though there are no legal routes to follow…anyone getting Major Major vibes from Catch 22?
You put more thought into this comment than the government did into the policy.
@@HighlyImprobableName sadly i think the government put a lot of (malicious) thought into their policy...
@@taceyoneil But not enough to think they'd ever have to answer a question so obvious one of their own ministers asked it. It's not just evil, it's stupid evil, which is frankly embarassing.
Braverman is still not in Patel's league. Remember her idea of grabbing whichever person was steering the boat and prosecuting them as a people trafficker? Or, before Rwanda, there was sending asylum seekers to Ascension Island? Giant wave machines? But yeah: "It's some catch that Catch 22".
@@HighlyImprobableName Oh, no... they knew *precisely* what they were doing...
The Tories have been watching the film Catch-22 for ideas on how to discredit asylum seekers! Asylum seekers who can't go to a British Embassy near where they live, apply for asylum and then order a plane ticket and also happen to own a valid passport and just fly over to the 'UK' in the ''proper'' way. Absolutely spot on Matt Green, keep these videos coming.
And some credit to MP Tim Loughton for phrasing the question and putting it to Braverman, who clearly did not see that one coming.
😂😂🤣❤️ Cheers Matt, needed that
The man's a bloody genius! 😊
Easy meat for satire this - but still, another corker Matt! I laughed so hard my wife rushed into the room, thinking I was having a seizure! 🤣😂🤣😂
So you ended up marrying her then, all the boys never thought you had it in you. You know, because of her convictions and what not.
That was brilliant as always Matt.The funniest bit for me was the teleportation line and I've recently been watching the classic British series of The Tomorrow People (bit of nostalgia from my childhood).Thanks Matt you've cheered me up with this.
"You're beginning to make me care about this hypothetical child, so much easier than caring about the real ones" BRILLIANT!
Anyone would think we didn't want them to come !! Brilliant as always Matt
I particularly loved the sting in the tail.
So true, It's such a shame most people won't know that there are no safe or legal routes
They know. They want to keep it that way. They want all immigration stopped. They hate foreigners.
As a resident of the colony of Scotland, what is the safe and legal route to Scottish independence?
Great line, colony of Scotland.
Take back what's ours 😊🏴
Start up an organisation called the SIA, Scottish Independence Army, copy the tactics of the last Celtic country to take back Independence and Control, and it won't be too long. Power is NEVER given away! It has to be TAKEN.
Sadly the colony of Scotland is stuck in abusive Marriage, the 9 of the 11 judges who looked at the right to divorce were friends of the abuser and they all agreed that the colony of Scotland renewed it marriage vows in 2016, and because of that, it could not get divorced ever again! in 2016 the abuser promised it would stop being abusive, and the colony of Scotland decided to give the abuser another chance, but it actually got worse, but all these mates of the abuser agreed that the Colony of Scotland must stay in the abusive relationship because they said so and they know what is best for abuse victim.
You can be independent if a referendum is held and the majority vote for it. The fact that Westminster won't let you have that referendum is irrelevant.
Haha the home affairs select committee meeting. As soon as Matt said let's role play I'm an African orphan
It did bring back visions of Cruella squirming on her chair, looking through her paperwork, ignoring the questioners, and chucked the question at the civil servants she so clearly despises.
😂😂😂
Teleported
"So much easier than caring about the real ones."
Nice One Matt.
Brilliant Matt as always 👍😂🤣 The funniest thing is all our Government have to do is set up safe routes and quickly process immigrants when they arrive. No need for large immigration centres, dubious landlords or expensive hotels. There wouldn’t be a problem then though and it wouldn’t wind up Outraged of Weybridge. They also wouldn’t have anyone to blame for the country’s mess that they’ve created. Mmm…Awkward.
I think a while ago the RSPC complained about this Government's over use of dead cats so......:D
😂😂😂 from the moment you started! Fantastic 😂
It is disturbing how much of this comedy sketch is practically verbatim what is actually said.
You do add some much needed flair and context, though, so I think your job is safe - for now!
@@_____alyptic This vid for example: th-cam.com/video/4hwt2DOZdPs/w-d-xo.html The interesting part starts @0:38!
Excellent!! Many thanks.
You're only ever 3 texts away from a Metropolitan Meme... 🧐
Thank you, Matt, for making me laugh out loud.
Having listened to the original exchange in the parliament committee on this - it's hard to know what parody is anymore... This sketch was spot on
It was such a ridiculous performance at the committee that it hardly needs satire, she did all the work herself
So, so true.
The tories are just so hateful, it’s disgraceful.
The tories have let in more immigrants in under 18 months, than all the Blair and brown years combined.
Cost of crossing the channel went from €4000 last year to €500 this Summer (Guardian Aug 22). When the cost is an inflatable and an outboard, they're still making money and proably just overfill the dinghies all the more.
Sad thing is if the people donated that money to the Conservative Party funds, they'd likely get a visa and straight in on a safe and comfortable Eurotunnel seat.
Man, that stinger at the end!
Just nailed it again! Liked before watching every time 😂
Funny how this is barely any different from what she said
lots more 'ummm.. er... um.." in the evil witch original ;-)
This is almost word-for-word her response to the select committee :D
And the really funny part is that in Rishi's new, trustworthy cabinate that's filled with integrity, our home secretary won't have to resign......?
I wonder if her *Her Advisers* have been asked to pack their bags for the outer Hebrides.
🇮🇪🇪🇺🏴
Matt. You are too funny👏👏🤣
The last pun is als always fabulous
I always look forward to your take on the government cockups
Not watched it yet but I'm pretty sure that you smashed it again dude 👍
Here's the question I would like answered.
How does Suella Braverman hide her horns and tail?
I know where she hides the pitchfork.
No words this time, Matt. Just...
😆😆😆😆😆😆😆😆😆😆
my heavens matt, you make more sense than the tripe we hear from the uk government, planes trains automobiles boats just no small ones crossing the channel indeed sir, love your skits, always i can't wait for your parodies on the latest muck up lol
Well done Matt great video
The British political class of both sides of the aisle are amazing artists. And it takes an artist to critique another artist. Well done mate!
The safe and legal route for foreign migrants is to navigate through following directions:
1 evade Sanctions Act 2015
2 evade liability for tax in all domeciles
3 donate to the Tory Party via the treasurer who will layer your money without question in exchange for a seat in the House of Lords
4 show you have a bank account with £300,000 and pledge to push your children through school at Eton
The UK is fucked. Love to the family! x Ireland.
A palpable hit! 😊👍
Is it just me or is Dominic Raab actually Jeffrey Fairbrother from Maplins Holiday Camp !!! Next time please put a yellow jacket on when you do a skit on Raab !!!
Once you have realised it, you simply can't get it out of your head... 🤣🤣🤣
That would be antisemitism
Came from Mastadon
This would be funnier if you weren't sticking so close to what Suella Braverman actually said. That said, I genuinely don't know how you could make what she said any more ridiculous.
Valient effort, parodying someone beyond parody.
It wasn't a parody. It actually happened.
You know times are tough when the satirist are basically quoting the politicians word for word.
Are we sure this wasn't intentional? Maybe they're not content until they've screwed everyone out of work.
Great channel. Great content. On this video: terrible placing on the end card. Could you not migrate it over to the other side of the deep blue?
yes that was a little blip - I've fixed it now
@@MattGreenComedy wow Matt Green responded. I'm honoured. I love your content. Very clever comedy
@@GariSullivan thanks Gari!
Tories are planning Mario Cart like safe route 🥳
This would be hilarious if it wasn't so chilling. Thank you Matt
Sounds far too plausible. Certainly believable. The joke is that its not a joke. Well done, Matt.
Word for word what Braverman spouted
Do you have your access chit? Have you had your chit signed, in triplicate? Have you had it stamped? Oh, and by the way the office closes at 5 so don’t be late because it’s only valid for that day alone.
Matt, this is dark satire indeed, when heli-joyrider-in-chief says, “Ye shall not pass!”, then you just have to sweat it out in sunny Kent, or Sussex. More truthspeak from a Minister who really should’ve been red-carded a month ago.
Teleportation it doesn't exist like the legal roots?Yes well..let me pause while I turn to my Aid that will stutter uncontrollably after being put on the spot😯
Are Jumpers considered as having arrived legally?
Matt, you have their peaches and cream look-blusing when fibbing-down to a tee-he.brillant satire Matt,sanity at long last.😎😎😎
In a world going to hell in a handcart, this is the stuff I need 👏👏👏😀
Great video, brilliant channel and superb comments. Now all I need is for Wales to win and it'll be a perfect day.
Role play... No that one !!! So hilarious....
Power is always taken, for if it is not taken, then it is left for others to take.
This isn't satire, you just acted out the whole scene verbatim.
I am seeking asylum too...
Am I allowed to go back to my house in France, after the pandemic, 🤔.
No mention of the situation whereby on the way to the UK this hypothetical refugee just happens to come to a 'safe' country, so to be legal should apply for asylum there. Botheration,
👌 👏
turn up the volume on your mic.
I have had this thought in the back of my head . What do you Mean. Amd also why must the first country you reach be the one you seek asylum in.
Seems unfair to the country that lies on the routes and meaningless for the the immigrants and refuge.
I'm disappointed Matt. The first part was almost verbatim exactly what happened at the select committee. Still amusing though.
What are the advantages of Brexit, 🤔🤭
Oh come on Matt, put some effort in. Just reading out the transcript of the meeting is just lazy.
Extreme comfort leads to this altruism. The good news is the comfort is ending
Oh Matt. I dropped an h in writing blushing, my for the first time.
I guess Suella's rehearsed soundbites only work at PMQs mudslinging matches.
Braverman's behaviour could be seen at best laughable if it was not so cringingly pathetic and unnervingly incompetent.
Thing is she'd have done a better job if she had read out your script
A good manly toolbox full of salt of the earth common sense skittery and all, unfortunately as I suspected, true. And, PS... Darn it! So teleportation doesn't actually exist (thank you Matt) - might have to reconsider my week in Skeggy next May in that case now that the trike's been condemned. Admittedly it was a bit small for me. I'd had it since I was five.
Sewer Braverman
Couldn’t make it.
He didn't!
😍
quality
Simple answer, there aren't any safe or legal routes for Asylum seekers. The whole thing is a sham.
What a shame Cruella didn't listen to Hermione. You can't Apparate in and out of Hogwarts, it's in A History Of Magic. Get with it, Ms Volderbrave!
Verbatim
Hmm. I usually like your satire. But this is literally no stupider than the actual Suella Braverman testimony. Pick it up please Matt.
So the other 53 countries in the continent of Africa are refusing asylum I wonder why.
Nailed it again matt
Please do a bit on Mone.
Can't laugh at this today , despite it being razor sharp - it's all just too sad. What I want to know is why can't they invest in stopping the people smugglers? They're the ones charging thousands of pounds to vulnerable people - and then they go back out and do it all again. Why can neither we nor the French do anything about *them*?