I Didn't Know I Was Raped. (TW Sexual Assault and Abuse)
ฝัง
- เผยแพร่เมื่อ 22 ต.ค. 2019
- Court recounts her experiences with an abusive partner.
Sexual assault can happen in many different ways, all of them equally valid and traumatic. Learning to accept and discuss sexual assault is an important part of recovery. If you or someone you know has been the victim of rape or assault, please reach out to a trusted adult.
For a list of resources for sexual assault survivors, please visit:
www.rainn.org/national-resour...
-------------------------------------------------
Subscribe to my channel for a new video every Wednesday!
Stay Confident ✌️
- Mama Court
IG: @courtwithconfidence
Twitter: @ConfidentCourt
Snap: ConfidentCourt
www.courtwithconfidence.com
Got a question you want Court to answer? Ask it anonymously here! tellonym.me/courtwithconfidence
![[UNCUT] ฝันรักห้วงนิทรา | EP.8 (4/4)](http://i.ytimg.com/vi/RDYJYiDwsj0/mqdefault.jpg)
I’ve been struggling to understand my own trauma. Thanks for the clarification. Virtual hug 🥰
I'm sorry for your trauma, I hope you to be alright now, please don't give up ❤ you're stronger than you can think and the fact that you shared a little proves how strong and brave you are
That’s exactly how it happens!!
You freeze. You let it happen 😢 you cannot fight back
hopefully you communicate a lack of consent first
I was assaulted by a ex .. he held me down and ignored my efforts to fight back he ignored my crying and me saying stop .. he made it like it wasn’t a big deal or that he didn’t just do what he did … I been In shock and frozen for days now
you're very strong, it is hard to come to terms with.. disassociating in a way can save your life, but when you come out if it, which could be years later, you can have trouble remembering alot of details, leaving your brain feeling ghosty
I've disassociate many times but only once was it so bad that I hadn't only bits and pieces of memory of the situation. I can't even remember my age but I may have been 10-13yr old when 8 men broke into my home and started yelling for when felt like 20 min but may have been way less. They start shooting and I run from my bedroom to the hallway trying to get to my mom.. I'm yelling her name and suddenly in the hall I bump in to a man I stop in my tracks and he says something to me and I hear my mom call me feels like 30 times i know it logically probably didn't harppen that many then i feel my mom pulling me from the hallway and into her bedroom behind her bed...all i remember is seeing flashing blue lights in all directions like cameras flickering and being pulled into darkness by my mom after.... till this day it kills me that I can identify this person I bumped into. I can't remember a face or voice or anything after bumping into him and it's torture. I slept with my mom in her bed till I was 22 I'm 27 now and healing from many traumas but this is one I struggle with Maybe because I was so young.i haven't felt safe since that day.
Sending love ❤ you are strong
I'm sorry that this happened to you ❤ I hope you to be alright now, please, don't give up, you're very strong and brave for share this ❤
Thank you so much for everything, sharing your story and explaining that sexual assault can be very different is very important to understand
I'm so sorry you didnt deserve that and you are strong and you're amazing and just remember it wasnt your fault and everything is gonna be alright 😭
How can I be so traumatized and not hate them? I don't understand.
Found this out a few days ago, when the actual incident happened five years ago. I was not even a teenager' - I was a child, not understanding what's going on. It has really affected me but it's the worst right now when I put two and two together.
To all the people who have gone through this, I'm praying for you 🤍
Praying for you to be safe and hope you’re doing much better now✨:)
i hope you’re doing much better now! it’s been 9 months since u made this comments and hopefully you’re doing better!! 😊 i’m 12 and am currently being sexually abused by my father and it’s been happening since i was 10 :( but i hope u the best :)
@@Katie-bk6rm I hope you get the hell out that hell of a house soon (If your dad ever leaves the house please call CPS or tell someone (who won’t tell the dad hopefully but will arrest him.)
❤ thank you for this. I struggle with feeling like I should have fought harder too. I froze as well. I also suffer from another time when I was roofied. I am so glad I saw this video. I am ready to heal. I definitely will check out the link!
You are such a strong amazing woman! ❤ I am so sorry for what you had to go through. Thank you for sharing bc it truly is making a difference
Exactly know that feeling of being like a body shell...
So your own biology wouldn't let say no.
I'm sorry ❤I hope you to be alright now, please, never give up ❤ you're brave and strong for share this at least a little ❤
@@sebastianblackandwhitewatc2722 Hi thank you for your nice words. They´re a great motivational help. 🙂
You’re awesome, thank you for your transparency!
Thank you for making this. This kind of abuse is incredibly common and very difficult to describe to others when attempting to get support. I know exactly the kinds of abusive manipulation you are describing, and I am sorry that this has happened to you. You are very strong to put yourself out there like this and you are a role model for those of us who share the same scars.
Thank you, I really needed to hear that 🧡
Thank you for making this, I am sobbing just hearing about what you went through because I went through something similar for 3 months until I couldn’t take it anymore. When I tried talking about it to one of my closest friends she accused me of lying because “he isn’t like that” “you are just making this up, to make yourself look better to not take the blame”. For those months that that happened I felt and still to this day feel numb and embarrassed because to me it was my first time, and I have always thought that was something you lost with your husband and he knew that but didn’t care, the way I lost it was in a way I didn’t even know that was happening until I tried to move away but he wouldn’t let me... it’s been almost a year that that happened and I still get threats from people because “I’m the liar” I have tried numerous things for people to leave me alone , like changing my number making new accounts but they took at as far to post tweets about me because I “had to be exposed” when I was only trying to move on but I feel like I’ll never be able to move passed that because of those people I used to be surrounded with....
I also have only spoken about this to my cousin because of how bad I was at one point because of all the threats and cyber bullying I had received
@@joselynacas I'm sorry that happened to you
Oh dear. I feel with you. One of the sickest experience to be blamed or not taken serious or true even by friends. I don´t know how people with that behavior define the word "friend". I hope you found ways to deal with all that sick experiences and feel better today. Wish you strength.
Exactly what happened to me.
The same thing has happened to me when I was 19. I'm glad you survived and hope you're okay. Thank you for sharing your story.
I just went through this exact same thing and I’m 19. Thx for sharing to show I’m not alone
@@fresherthanfresh6680 I experience a similar thing in 2012 when I was 19 at uni by someone hiding in the name 'boyfriend'.
I will tell my story:
I was dating someone online. It was really amazing sometimes and they were really nice to me in the beginning. But there is of course a dark side: they used me mentally, I don’t want to go into detail about it cause it’s very triggering to me. We had a big fight so I decided to fix the fight by visiting them irl for the first time. We had sex and I liked it but they didn’t stop when I told them to stop. I said over and over again ”I don’t want this, please stop, I need a break, no, stop” for 2 to 4 minutes until they stopped. I started crying and they didn’t even try to comfort me. ”I knew you liked it. I won’t stop if you like it” and then they tried to do it again but I said no many times and they listened
I can relate to this so much. Almost always when it happened to me I would disassociate and freeze. It took time for me to really understand that I absolutely was a victim.
Thank you for sharing your story. It’s so hard to be able to open up about this. You’re such a strong person. 💕
I understand what you mean I think. I could imagine there would be a great danger for me too to dissociate and freeze again, if it would happen to me again. Because of the situation plus the trigger from last time it happend so I could do exactly nothing to resist again. Could you imagine a way to avoid that effects? I mean, I sometimes think about the possibilty to train avoiding such effects? But thats difficult or (nearly) impossible, not? What do you think?
I have ptsd as a result of my experiences. Thanks love. You are brave and strong. ❤
You are incredible, court. Keep going
That's sad. I had an experience too with a man. I was 16, he was 18. He's half dutch and half Asian. I'm an Asian. He was so tall if you compare it with Asian. He was my senior in high school. We both joined basketball club. Everything felt normal before.
It began when my team on training, he throwed basketball to my head, I passed out. I thought it was just an accident. He took responsibility for me like bring me to the healthcare place at school, bought me soft drinks and food, and bring me back to my house. Normal right?
But days after it, he still bring me drinks and foods, and bring me home from school. He said it was his responsibility. Until my crush (he was my classmate) holding my hands while he walked me home. I rejected my senior's offer to bring me back home with his care so I can be with my crush longer. My crush also liked me from what he did to me. He was very gentle and kind hearted man.
My senior, let's call him Alex. Alex become weird the next day after it. He asked me who the guy that walked me home. And he also stated that he can walked me home today, he don't bring car, etc. I said thank you to him and he should stop taking responsibilities to me because I already forgive him and I'm recovered. He insisted that he wanted to walk me home. At the time, my crush was sick, so I just said yes. On the way to home, he forced me to his car near a supermarket. I said I don't want but he forced my body to go in and locked the car. I'm screaming but nobody heard it. He told me to shut up and he drove the car to his home. No one on the house. Strangely, his house is big and the neighbour very far. I was scared he will kill me. He made food and drink, and then told me to move to his house. I explained it is impossible because on Asia, different genders can only live together with someone who you married and I don't love him. He talked on English with angry voice. He said he would marry me after ge graduated from high school. I refused. He dragged me to his room. It was dark and large. He chained my hands to his bed. I rebel with my feet but no use. He took of his shirt and naked then proceed to do that to me. He raped me until midnight. I was crying all the time he raped me. The weird thing was he turn on when I cried. That's really disgusting. I was disgusted when he tried to lick my tears. He released me the next day, but before he released me, he raped me in his car. My mom was angry to me why I didn't go to home. I lied to her, I told her I was with my female friends.
I was scared of him. I stopped being a basketball team because there was him on there. But, he didn't stop bother me. He forced me to do s*x with him on the toilet before I went home with him or in his house everyday. His parents and people thought I'm in relationship with him and some said that I'm lucky to get him because his dad is a foreigner and wealthy. No one would understand or believe me if I tell them that he r*ped me all the times. My school was an internasional school.
I got enough when he refused to use condom and said he wanted to be a dad. I didn't want it. He procceed to tell me if we have kids, I wouldn't leave him and dependent to him. That's sick. I didn't consider we were together, that's him threatening me with our s*x tape he recorded, so I said yes everytime he wanted to bang me. He was very loyal to me.
It was 1 month before his graduation, I move to another school on another city, deleted my contacts, and went to boarding house. My friends dm me and commented on my instagram that he is deprresed and they told me to go back and to contact him. I just pretended that I didn't use the Account anymore.
I'm safe now. He went mad and terrors me, but I told my mom that it was over and he's abusive. My mom protected me from him. I'm on college now. He is joining army, so I'm veru safe.
Sending you hug as you heal
Thank you for posting this. After reading through some comments I want to add this to the discussion. ---- An important point here is that she says she experienced Stockholm Syndrome, or a "trauma bond". This means that her decision making powers have been psychologically co-opted by the abuser. When we talk about "power and control", that actually means something. In this case, her loss of an ability to actualize what she might otherwise wish for herself IS that loss of personal power that he now owns. That is what power and control means in real time. Another element of Stockholm syndrome is just what she said about not fully understanding the social, cultural and legal implications of what happened until after leaving the relationship. For many, the event(s) are processed as merely "something that was happening in the relationship". This is very, very common. This is why PTSD will often material after a few months post-assault. In the interim, the body/mind defenses kick in and cloud over the reality of the experience as a protective defense. The dynamics of sexual assault are difficult to understand and even accept sometimes. The only way for anyone to successfully interface with a victim/survivor, is to suspend belief of what you think you know, listen, accept and support the one who is making the claim because she/he is suffering and they need your help.
It happened twice with me. Once when I was a teenager and a similar thing happened as she talks about and then few months ago as well. You described my situation exactly. I guess few people are prone to develop stockholm syndrome and you only realise the abuse much later.
Both of my poor ex’s both were assaulted and traumatized it’s terrible
Thank you for sharing your story ♥️
Thank you for sharing this. You have so much courage.
I know it is difficult to put into words.
It’s called being conditioned and groomed. You don’t know at the time. It’s coercion. I was in a BDSM relationship from the start. It seemed ok at first. I was new to that scene.
It was only after the termination of the relationship that I understood what happened.
It was a total shock to my system.
You are so brave for sharing your story. I am here 3yrs later. I had an experience in a relationship 14 years ago so I can relate. I did not want to believe I was raped either but now fully know that I was. The memories never go away but not letting the person who did it have power anymore is winning. Like you my experience was not violent apart from when he took me by my wrist in a firm grip and took me after him to the shower but otherwise not in any way violent but still a violation of me as a person never the less.
Thank you for sharing, your words mean so much. The part where you said “it wasn’t violent but it was a violation of me as a person” I relate, mine was like that too
@@amandaclbn8324 Thank you for your reply. Stay strong Amanda. Survivors stand together and support each other. We know what it was like to go through.
Salute to you for speaking up.
You are very kind and powerful
Thank you so much
I’m dealing with this and Stockholm syndrome. Thank you for your video
Yes, I was frozen for over 2 weeks after my assault. It was like my body didn't want to acknowledge it all in one go. It took 3 weeks before I realised what he had done and it was only after I reported it to the police and started receiving therapy that I realised how serious the assault was.
Talking is healing. I had to break an abuser's face before.
i was searching for videos about this because i went through a similar thing. lots of coercion and him slowly wearing me down till i forgot what i wanted and then forgot that i could even want things. i was so afraid of him that i had to pretend everything was fine. one time he almost choked me till i passed out i thought i was gonna die and i couldn't stop him because he was stronger than me and too heavy to push off, and then afterwards he cried and said he was a monster and i should have left then but i didn't ??????????
thanks for making a video, unfortunately im here under the worst of circumstance - 3 hours ago now...
I Do Not Hate America......Just The Evil Government (THAT RUINED MY LIFE )(Targeted Me) and made ME look bad ......And ALL Those Who Hurt My Muslim Brothers And Sisters(Btw American Girls Are Fine) (mmmmm). But, I Want To Ask,How Would Serbs And Americans Feel,If We Muslims Did To American And Serbian Girls,(Stretch Them Out) As They Did To Ours? OUR WOMEN AND YOUNG GIRLS WERE RAPED IN THE MOST BRUTAL WAYS IN BOSNIA And We Suffered The Arms Embargo On Bosnia Also( Injustice)......Also the Srebrenica GENOCIDE will be talked about always.I want some kind of justice for me and all Muslim victims and well any victim of any injustice. I love the girls to much and i wish i can have one...........also Kosovo Is Not Serbia(Shows Peace Sign) Many girls would tell me how ugly i am (even that is not my fault) i love them
About 14 hours ago
@@twiztidyournutz *hugs* it does get easier
I understand it😭. I just got me and my daughter out of a dv situation, just not realizing how bad things really were
I just found out this happened to me I was drugged and I even had a kid from it I feel so violated and I can’t believe I just figured it out
I suggest taking your perpetrator to court so you get justice.
I went through this but I did not report that.What should I do?I do have two kids too .
Thank you, thank you so much
Im so sorry that this happened to you. None of it is your fault in-any way. The blame and the shame belongs to the perpetrator! I was date raped twice by two different men I was seeing, five years apart. And, a third guy Id just met the evening before came into my shop as he was supposed to be taking me out on a date. When i started closing up, I askedhim to help me with the security gate and I went to get my things. He exposed himself and pushed me into the changing room. I knew what was about to happen and, because it had happened before, I just froze. I didnt yell for help or say no or hit him. Ive just remembered details of all three incidents around a month ago. I was clinically depressed and self harming and ended up in a coercive control, gaslighting relationship with a male friend twice my age. He was an working actor (not famous but had a regular spot on a tv show) and everyone adored him and kept telling me how lucky I was. Ive had CBT therapy for that abusive relationship and im mostly healed from it but those three sexual assaults I buried. They happened between the ages of 27 and 33. It was a shock when i started remembering and I named those ‘bad dates’ as rape and sexual assualt. Ive been speaking to the rape crisis center and they’ve been really kind and have offered me goof therapy. You can call twice a week for free and speak to someone for up to 40 minutes.
When I didn't remember getting back to his apartment, I just chalked it down to that ONE shot I had. Years later shit just doesn't make sense. I shouldn't of been in pain the next day if I had consented to do something. I guess everyone feels invincible at 18
The irony is that neither this woman or any woman who agrees with her, WOULD EVER TELL A MAN. That their understanding of "rape" is changing their mind after giving consent. Else they would all still be virgins, as no man would go near them. This also trivialises actual rape, as in BEING VIOLENTLY FORCED TO HAVE SEX WITH SOMEBODY.
You can't personally change the definition of rape. Just because you want to be able to say you are a rape victim. By this rationale, i have been raped numerous times, when i have had regrets about a relationship i had with a bad person. Been pestered for sex or basically had sex for someone else benefit, when i was not in the mood.
Some people just like to play victim and refuse to take accountability for their own bad decisions. It sounds like she was in an abusive relationship. However she CHOSE to be in a relationship with him and she CHOSE to have sex with him. It is not rape if she wasn't forced to do something.
I agree
It makes a lot of sense to me. I can understand the typical manipulative behavior.
How do I remember more memories from 0-2 years of age
I went through the same thing but still remained in the relationship. He attempted to rape me anally since we met but he managed to convince me that he did nothing wrong. I lost my identity and self worth because he body shamed me and made me believe that no other man would ever want me but him.
Thank you ❤️
Thank you so much
Yes they get inside your mind and tell you what you are thinking and feeling and what your experiences are.
Truth is only YOU know this. No one else does! So no one can tell you these things.
I know exactly how it feels to be treated like a sub human
bless your heart
The favorite methods of control over others used by manipulators, abusers, narcissists, sociopaths or psychopaths are first, financial control as that limits financial ability to escape, second is sexual abuse as one’s shame, stigma and/or embarrassment is used as a weapon to coerce silence .. its violence employed in covert fashion
Age of consent anywhere from 15 to 18 is too low.
Idk if anyone will see this since it's been a year since she posted this video but I rlly need to talk to someone r I need someone opinion on something I think my bf rapped me and idk what to do
what happened?
You can talk to me if you still need to vent. Send me your socials and I’ll add you wherever xx
Are you not on Instagram anymore?
I totally understand with you and once you talk you get victimsed which makes you feel guilty
How do you get over this
I was chloroformed and for days out of it I was out of it but i woje up tealky damaged physically
How old were u when this happened to u ?
I love you!
What happened to your main insta
When I was 14, I was on heavy sleeping meds for my insomnia, I would literally sleep through a fire alarm. I would wake up with something white down there, I would be sore down there. The only man living in the house at that time, was my father (whom was already sterilized at the time)... I don't know if he, did something, I was asleep after all. But I did always have a bad feeling about it.
For context, my parents have abused me my entire life, mainly psychologically (and emotional neglect), but with my dad, he would hit me, full on beatings. He would sexualize me, saying thing such as 'you have a nice asss, I'm into that'. He's also someone that discriminates against everyone that is not a cishet white man, meanwhile, I'm a lesbian, so yeah, sexism and homophobia. He's capable of bad things, he killed at least 2 of our neighbor's pets, when I was little.
Now I don't know for sure if he did r*pe me.
Lesbianism is often a sign of damage. A lot of girls that date blacks get turned off men and go lesbian.
If you don't call the police you are guilty if he does it to anyone eles.
I understand
I need help plz
You are brave me too
Same happened to me .
Ur a very brave young woman from JEFF
I need to talk alot rn
Me either
liera, you too?
can we talk on the phone?
When ever I wake up in the morning my mom's bf is always there and idk why but then she comes home but my circle down there is usually like something was going in there it's bigger than usual and it's slimey but I think I'm pregnant bc my stomach keeps on getting bigger . My appetite is always wanting to eat. And I'm not as tired but I am sorta and I just lay in bed all day and idk, I'm just worried and I'm only 14 but idk I'm confused n idk what's wrong n my period hasn't came yet so I'm just scared
I 'm sorry that happened to you
So... What happened
Hope you’re ok. Did you go to the sexual health clinic to get checked?
Hey did you find out what was happening to you ?
With sexual abuse, did male partner asked you to shave off pubic hair every day? And have sex on PMS? If you did not have orgrams, male partner would turn you over put in aual unit female partner had orgram. How turn male partner when been sexual abuse you have orgram for male partner.
He just like me
your squad? tee hee.
It breaks my heart that many girls told me i am ugly and that is not
even my fault to begin with,trust me i am desperate and wanting some
xxx........i CAN understand GUYS who FORCE it with a girl i can and i do
but......i do not have the heart to do that!!!
Please seek therapy. Heal yourself and stop spreading toxicity and contributing to suffering.
This is ridiculous.. bunch of grown children.. unable to take responsibility for the situation they put themselves in 😂.. yet you lot are allowed to vote! What a joke
If you can physically choose not to be there having sex with the person then I don’t see how that’s rape? It’s a tough lesson to learn that it’s our own choices that keep us there. Yes his behaviour was emotionally abusive but you still chose to stay as long as you did and it’s your power to choose a relationship with someone who treats you well and your responsibility to see that you deserve to be treated well. Until a person sees that they deserve to be treated well, they will keep choosing to stay in situations where they are treated poorly.
She had Stockholm syndrome plus if someone chooses to stay with someone doesn't mean that it's impossible for them to raped by their partner for example the sex can be consensual at first but the moment you tell them to stop during the act and they continue that is considered sexual assault and a very betraying thing to do to someone also any sex done under coercion is also not consensual either it sounds like you never been in an abusive relationship and simply cannot understand this girl's pain don't say anything til you have walked a mile in someone else's shoes
If it starts out consensual but you tell them that's enough or stop and they continue after you said stop is sexual assault
I think it's not right to say yes and then change your mind after penetration and further along in the course of arousal and then change your mind and call it rape. That is totally immoral and manipulative and disgusting for a woman to change her mind at that point and call it rape. Why not change your mind earlier when you're fully clothed and maybe choose not to be in the same room or house as the person. This logic you present is a joke. @@sheen621
Nope sorry. Women change their minds a lot. They need to take some responsibility. Changing your mind half way through and taking a man to the cleaners about it is an awful thing for a woman to do. Where is the responsibility on the woman. Can she just totally do what ever she wants in terms of inviting the man and then just before ejaculation change her mind? This is bizarre logic. @@sheen621
@@bernadettesavage4786 well according to laws of consent it's a form of sexual assault whether you like it or not
Was he a white guy?
why would you ask that? whites don't have the highest proportional statistics for this type of thing though.
What if it’s a family member that is way to nice to u and what if she if just searching in the fridge and u just brush her butt and she turns and smiles at u
6th
Ur a very beautiful young woman from JEFF
U remember being on top. Why were you getting on top?
aahahahhaahhahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaah
You have to understand that putting a boyfriend in jail in those circumstances doesn't look COMPLETELY fair either because that scene has happened in ALL relationships in HISTORY 😅 It's true.
Omg 🙄. Weak sauce
Did u like it
@@_LunaP brrr
You're a GROWN woman, you picked the man, you made your choices. You could have left at anytime, but you stayed.
rape apologist
If you have nothing nice to say don't say anything
u sound like a rapist scott
truth
There's this term called Stockholm syndrome look it up you may understand abusive relationships better
stop trying to be a victim crap happen to me i am fine but was shit at the time don't understand why you should unload your laundry to the world , like you should take stock of your life and work hard at what ever you are in to , get off social media ,
hunny you chose him. you could have left any second. stop complaining
all women have the same story. get with some dude that does all this crap to them. when they can literally choose any guy they want. they go for the shit dudes. then complain about it. we are tired of hearing it. choose better men. this is why arranged marriages where a thing.
@@fireonhairyou’re ignorant as hell. We don’t see the signs of these shitty men because it was normalized to us by our own family. Then we repeat until we understand. Some never do. Just cause we can choose anyone we want doesn’t mean we can see the future or even know beyond what we know at the time.
How would the guy know you were uncomfortable and wanted to stop? Your back was towards him.
He could’ve asked
Also, you were on top. Lol. Literally in a more dominant position. Sorry, but you had an abusive relationship. And that sucks. But what you describe waters down sexually assualt to just bad sex.
She tried to move and he physically held her there
@@morgancunningham9230 where does it say that in the video?
@@asdfmosin 2:52. While I think emotional manipulation doesn’t equate to coercion or rape, violent coercion and physically restraining someone does. So yeah she was raped.
@@morgancunningham9230 she's says, she thinks she kinda tried to get off. She has to make her actions clear. You have to be responsible for your own actions. If during sex you want to stop, you have to let the other person know this, clearly. It's your own responsibility. The second person in sex is not a mind reader.
@@asdfmosin I agree. If sex is already happening it’s your job to tell them you want to stop. But if they violently coerced you, acted without your consent, or physically forced you it’s rape. I’ve been violently coerced and raped. It’s hard shit.
Did you get a cream pie?
this isn;t to do with rape but watch out for Debbie Williams very manipulative and a narassitic person so evil. Gaslighting as well I think. She said we are best friends and she treated me well and I am her favourite. I was confused if she was doing anything though. She critized me daily and said there was something wrong with me cause i had anxiety, tried to make me live on my own in the summer to be independent, forcing me to change bank account then shouting at me when I said no, she said do you have a problem with that, do you not like my idea, saying i'm rubbish at my job too slow, I didn't deserve the high pay of £11 an hour. i wasn;t empatic her life was worse than mine. Saying it was my fault she lost her credit cards, laughing on the bus and saying she was going to take her clothes off be naked when home and put the fan on and tried to make me say she was naked. i was her PA and she was disabled and autistic and OCD and PTsD and anxiety disorder but she was still extremely in charge, dogmatic, rude, agressive, pushy if you didn't take her life advice. I thought it was a good wee job but had 6 weeks nightmares from working with her. She didn't care if I was studying or doing something else so would phone me at 10pm at night and text late then twisted it round saying I was damaging her health and manipulating her and bullying and harassing her. she blocked the law society and reported them 6 law societys in Edinburgh. She made me phone the police as a lady seemed drunk outside and was wobbling on the fence we tried to help her get in her house. She told me to fuck off and slurred her words she had a gown on either hospital or rehab centre. She told me not to tell the police her address i had to give mine. She kept talking loudly. She fired me but said i just left. She caused me mental damage.
Not a rape if you stay there and comply. Abuse yes,rape no....Corey
Complying isn't equivalent to consent. Learn the difference.
My story: One of my earliest recollections is being fondled by a boy on the floor of a closet. I was not frightened. That was probably because I was used to having my diapers changed. Or my training pants. So why do I remember that? Something significant happened or I wouldn’t remember that at all. Fast forward to when I was seven. I go with this same boy with two of his friend to the ‘fort’ on the back of their property. He forces my pants down, and I stand there exposed, embarrassed and frightened. Then he cautions me not to tell anyone because he saw me looking through the bathroom keyhole. I WAS SEVEN! Fast forward again to my seventeenth year. I told my boyfriend (now my husband of 52 years) that I was ready to have sex. He asked me if I was sure. (What teenage boy would ask that? Answer: a true gentleman would) I prepare to loose my virginity by bringing along a change of underwear. But then there is no blood. I’m confused. This doesn’t match what I read about this moment. I shrugged it off. And why now, of all times, should this come up now? A man I know of through youtube describes the pedophile he knew when he was attending the Catholic Church of his youth. And suddenly I really really cared. I told my husband, and he listened, but had no advise. I have the means of exposing him, but when I checked his Facebook page, he looks pitiful. An old man. So I’m leaving it up to God, and I’m good with that.
just sounds like you regret what you did. That's not rape