I think the friends of the girl have a big responsibility in this scenario, they should've made sure everyone left the house with them. An even better friend would have stayed the night with the girl, given her liquids and taken care of her.
I guess they all trusted everybody in that room, if her friends but over their friends couldn't trust fully they should have never brought them at all to the room, mistakes
How about we teach women not to get drunk in public venues. Or do drugs we keep making everyone faults. Rape is not right. But getting drunk and doing drugs to the point you don't know where you are is on you. Ppl need to take accountability for there on actions
@@silasj1090 she was in her own home among people she trusted. Not out in public. People shouldn’t be getting super wasted but at the same time she again was in her home with people she trusted and was in college..so she also likely didn’t know how to pace herself yet. She should have been able to go to sleep in her own bed without worrying that she might be taken advantage of. I understand in certain scenarios where both parties are drunk and unable to consent that the lines of rape can get blurry. This is not one of those scenarios. He stayed after everyone left and she was asleep and blacking out while it was happening. He saw his opportunity and took it. In every way, this shouldn’t have been a vulnerable situation.
I dont remember any of it. My friends walked in and saw him ontop of me (I was passed put drunk) they left me and told me in the morning. I dont remember any of it but he was my boyfriend and the time and I just know deep down he was more than capable of doing that to someone so I believe it. I think the fact I can't remember any of it is a blessing and a curse because I dont think im traumatised but I think because I dont know what exactly happened im finding it so hard to move past. It was over a year ago and I still breakdown about it.
« It’s not my fault for passing out, it’s his fault for raping me. » If you teared up at that, you’re not alone, and please please know it’s NOT your fault. Love from me, to all of you fellow survivors out there.
The comments saying she shouldn't have drank that much, get real. You mean people should never drink again in fear of being abused by rapists? They're not in the wrong - the rapists are and I even believe I'm pointing this out when it's basic logic!
Fair enough, but if you're telling me if have to stay sober so a rapist doesn't hurt me, that's ridiculous. There's being careful, but no one should stay sober because they're scared.
+Megan Harrison why people want so bad to get drunk I don't understand. I don't drink but I have so much fun every second of my life, so that can't be because it's fun. Do people try to avoid reality and sadness by getting drunk?
Yes. People with serious issues forget their pain when drunk. People like to drink on a night out for fun, and you can't say thats wrong. Some people drink; some people rape. One of those is in the wrong and I hope to God you see which one.
+Megan Harrison I'm not stupid enough to defend rape culture, but people need to understand that there are so many things that our society harass us with (whether by ads or other lies) and we unconsciously follow it like sheep and think that it's not a bad thing when it actually is; we need to open our eyes. That's how I view alcohol, it's a terrible vice that cause car accidents, deaths, allow rape & murder to happen more often, etc., and society still encourages us to drink more and more and more. Life would be much better if alcohol didn't exist.
My Ex did it to me and told police and 1st April got dropped. He goes past my house walking his dog like everything fine. But I have flashbacks and police say he didnt do anything during the investigation we cant do anything. I hate him but i loved him for 5 years of my life. So im in a cycle of ending my life because of it. Im only 21
This pisses me off so much. I hate how colleges and police say that they take these cases "seriously" and that "it's not tolerated" but they don't do fuck all about it. They just act like they're gonna do something but they never do anything. I'm so disgusted with the disrespect of women in this society. I'm disgusted that another women didn't even take her seriously. It's not her fault but society sees it that way and it makes me so fucking angry. This just makes me so angry because nothing even changed he just got to walk around like nothing happened. I'm so angry holy fuck.
These comments are absolutely disgusting. In this scenario she was in her own home getting drunk among her friends she trusted. When everyone left he stayed behind. While she was asleep or blacked out he removed her pants and did what he wanted to her. She was in her home in her bed. Yet most of these comments are defending the man or saying it’s her fault. This is why I kept my assault to myself. Because of people like you. For people saying she shouldn’t have drank as much as she did..she had nowhere to drive. She was at HOME with people she trusted. She was in college and having fun with her friends. Since she’s young, she also likely didn’t know how to pace herself with alcohol just yet. College aged means she was somewhere between 18 and her early 20’s. Peer pressure could have also been a part of it. It is NEVER anyones fault for being raped or assaulted.
She could’ve said yes but don’t remember, as she said she was drunk and blacking out. And Secondly you have to be responsible for what happens at YOUR house if you have a whole bunch of people over and they all drinking ideally you would want to be the sober one to make sure everyone gets home safe. If you want to use her age as a factor then she’s old enough to drink then she should be old enough to make proper decisions. It’s unfortunate what happened to her because responsibility and accountability will help you prevent it from happening again
If anyone tells you “yes” while clearly drunk or under the influence of drugs it’s still a no. Read the definition of consent. I understand that the “line” can get confusing. Even though it’s still not smart, people in the heat of the moment people who are drunk or high sleep together all the time and regret it later. However she described what happened and nowhere did she mention being in to that person or saying “yes”. Being raped or assaulted is embarrassing and makes you feel guilty. It’s not something that is fun to lie about. In fact, it’s easier to pretend that it never happened or to just say you slept with someone so people don’t pity or ridicule you. To admit that someone took advantage of you and that you could do nothing hurts. Many of you are quick to say “she could have consented”..but why are you so quick to assume her story is a lie and that he couldn’t have possibly made a poor decision? As far as “what you should do” she did everything right. She didn’t drink and drive..she was in her own home. She was with friends she trusted. She thought he left but he stayed behind secretly. That is predatory behavior.
@@Leahweahbeah your right she’s at her own home, ideally she’s should be the sober home especially if your hosting an get together and everyone is drinking. As a host you should make sure everyone gets home safe. There’s no reason to be passing out drunk whiles there’s people at your place, if anything happens to one those guest you’ll be the responsible one.
@@Leahweahbeah I can have a box of expensive jewelry out that’s very expensive, that box can contain Rolexes diamonds rings ect..and I can invite a whole bunch of people to my house and I get drunk and pass out and when I wake up it’s all gone. You can blame one of the guest as a thief which might true but I’ll still need to take responsibility on my part, I shouldn’t have a piece of expenses es jewelry out or at least unattended.. what I can I do next time is be more vigilant and responsible. You can argue and say I should choose better friends but people will always be people, that person your calling brother/sister today could be cutting your back tomorrow.. it’s unfortunate situation but there’s lessons to be learn here on both parts.
Can't we all agree to not rape each other?? Before going to college, in highschool, there should be a "what is sexual consent" mandatory workshop for both FEMALE AND MALE STUDENTS. Sheesh it's clearly needed!!!!
For me the person decided to wear a condom because of that the police told me that I would loose the case because that made it consensual. It doesn't for one second. They said it would be a open court anyone could walk in, and where pissed of at me because I didn't tell them on the day it happened. The women where very pushy and just mean, they made me feel stupid and pathetic. I went to a support place to tell them what happened and waited 8 hrs for the police to come they never did, I got home and there they where wiating for me. I didn't get the chance to tell my parents, they started asking in depth questions in front of two children my 8 yr old brother and his friend who was 12 years old. I still haven't been able to get proper therapy for it and only talked about it once to one person. It will take another 6-8 months to get seen to, I've been waiting since last June. The system is fucked
Sounds like the University and the Police are taking it seriously now because a lot more people know. Every parent of a potential student should know how this school handles assault: they don’t.
My friend was sexually assaulted while blackout drunk and hasn’t told anyone other than me. Then the very next night she got sexually assaulted while drunk again by someone completely different. She won’t tell me who in fear that I may do something. Has anyone ever heard of something like this happening? Also, how do I open my friend up to the idea of seeking help?
At that point, it’s your friend’s fault and totally. Really? She didn’t learn the lesson the first time? How dumb is she, really? First time wasn’t her fault. Second time, come on man..
You need extraordinary evidence to prove rape. Who's to say that the sex wasn't consensual at the time and then she changed her mind in the morning. This has been shown to happen too many times in the U.S. You can't be expected to be believed just because you're a victim - even if you are actually raped.
Sam Gee What about when a woman makes a false accusation and then the accused "rapist" goes to jail, no questions asked? Why doe sit work out for them but not for the real rape victims? For example the case of Biurny Peguero, she was out one night with her friends, got very drunk and wandered around, when she returned to her friends they were angry at her because she took so long to meet up with them, Biurny then made up the lie that she was raped. She even went so far as to visit the hospital to take a rape kit AND even took the emergency contraceptive pill! She gave a description of the "rapist" and he went straight to jail with no questions asked. This happens a lot, why? Why would the judge believe these false accusers and not the real victims? This shouldn't be, a lawyer should make the false accuser drop the case if he/she thinks the accuser is lying.
Because he’s black/Hispanic and if she’s white you automatically trust her. That’s happened with A LOT of cases my dude. The sad painful truth of racism mixed with rape
I am sorry for what happened and also thank you for sharing your story. Someone i know just got raped when she was drunk and i dont know what to do in order to help her :(
What is so inspiring??!! He’s going to reoffend and Rape someone else. He got away with a heinous act and violating someone’s trust and the sanctity of someone’s home. The Cop was dismissive, and facilitated this crime. I am glad she’s dealing with it in a positive way but this just makes me know wayyyy more awareness needs to be brought to this issue of College & Date Rape.
Happened to me as well. There are a lot of people that would rape, and a lot that have raped. Got black out drunk in a club(I might have been drugged but I cant be sure of that) We took a shot, and after the shot my friend felt so bad he went home. I stayed, alone. The fire alarm went off, and everyone had to go outside. There I sat down on a bench, in the rain, all by myself. Than it happened, A guy jumps on my lap, brings his face way to close to mine(something I cant remember, but people I met later on in life knew the guy(rapist) and were there when it happened. And they knew it wasnt okay but let it happen anyway.), and than the guy forces a kiss. I took weeks before any other memories came back. But when they did, they tore me apart. All of a sudden I saw myself getting fcked in the ass. And I couldnt, and cant believe that happened. 'This isnt a memory! when did this happen? who did this to me? Why did this happen to me? This cant be real!!! WTF IS GOING ON!!!!' It destroyed my mind, I couldnt sleep, I couldnt eat, I lost all my will for intimacy. And till this day, I still get murderess thought whenever I see someone that is gay. That is also the reason I dont want to know who did it to me, I will die in prison if I'd ever find out
I was almost raped, but I managed to escape and lock myself in the bathroom. I called my friend (maybe I should have called the police). The man left after that. This happened in my own apartment. The guy had followed me from the bar and I didn't really like him. I was so drunk and I couldn't protect myself.
This literally happened to me on Friday. I woke up with bruises on my face, my body and a really big one on my arm. I don’t know really what think considering it was by someone I trusted. My “best friend”.
Honestly if you ever need to chat it would be really good. This is one of those terrifying situations where we mostly isolate ourselves and would give anything to speak to someone from a similar experience. It’s good to talk and please do message me if you’d like to talk about it xx
Something like this has happened to me. Me and my friends ( they invited people they knew ) went camping and we were all drinking,I was drinking straight vodka I was paralytic. This boy kept asking to have sex I said no over and over but my friends were saying “just get it over with” and “just do it” I would say back “no I’m scared” baring in mind I was a virgin. I gave in thinking that he would leave me alone. Is this my fault because I gave in? Apparently the boy had 2 cans of beer so he was fully aware of what he was doing. The boy kept asking over and over. Is this my fault?
Play a stupid game win a stupid prize. Why would you get drunk to the point that you black out? Like me leaving my car doors unlocked then im surprised when someone burgals it.
When I was little I was molested by a boy maybe 2 to 3 years older than me. I was only 5 or 6 at the time. Then when my mom didn't believe me it kept happening. Finally he moved away but I already had so much fear. Growing up has been hard I was almost kidnapped 3 times and each time was a terrible feeling so bad that I fear men now. I was then raped at 19 and 20 which of course people assumed I wanted it or that I was a whore. The first time this happened I was blacked out drunk at my house. My cousin invited guys over and I didn't like it so when I got a call that a friend was out front I went to talk to him little did I know I was going to black out and be raped. This was a horrific experience for me I cried so much the next day with bits and pieces being remembered. I was so terrified to tell anyone or report him I kept it to myself until I told a friend who just said wow he's an ass. I was then raped again at a friends party when everyone got drunk. I blacked out and found out in the morning he had taken advantage of me and my friends did nothing. So, many times things like this have happened and now my husband feels like it was my fault he says he knew my friends were bad and that I should have known to stop drinking. His excuse is when I get drunk or even black out that doesn't happen to me. Well I am sorry as you say I attract all the awful people. I am sorry I have to deal with so much pain everyday and that I hate it more than you could possibly know. Is it my fault for drinking? Is it my fault for being there at the wrong time? Why is it my fault I get followed and forced to do things I would never want to do? I don't know if this marriage is going to end or not but if we can't have trust because he believes this is my fault then so be it. I'm tired of being in pain. It's my fault because I didn't have better friends, it's my fault because I was drunk, and it's my fault because I didn't report them to the cops. Right its easier to blame me then to make a relationship work I understand. Why do people not understand that even if this happens over and over it's not our fault. Sometimes I was drunk and others I wasn't I am scared by men now and I hate drinking but even so people still follow me and hit on me how is that my fault? I just want to be left alone.
Tjoooooooo I feel like something like this happened to me this weekend, I drank with friends and I woke up home alone but naked, I was worried why I'm naked and I asked my friends who dropped me and they said one of the guys dropped me now I have trust issues if maybe he went as far as going to my room and undress me taking the advantage that I was too drunk. This is very depressing and stressing I wish God can make me have flash backs. It's a friend I don't know if I should trust that he only dropped me and left
this happened to me I only fell asleep bc I wanted him to go but he never left and im scared to report it and I knew him when I was 9 and he was my cousin n I feel like I can’t do anything about it anymore.
This happened with me. And the person who did it was my friend's younger brother. I was at my friend's house that night. And when I tried to confront this in the morning. The blames were turned against me that I invited him. My friend ( I've cut her off now ) turned against me too. She tried to slut shame me in every possible way she could. It has left a scar in me and it has scared me for life. I cannot trust anyone anymore.
Thanks for sharing your story. N I have a lot of questions, cause my girlfriend goes through d same but she has told me she has blank out n she don't remember
@@KhalilSonic People can do whatever they want with their bodies unless they hurt other people (for example DUI) and there's laws against that already. We've seen what banning alcohol does.
@@user-bp3lg4gv3m dude, do you even hear yourself talking? Alcohol is nothing but problems, who said drunk people can't kill other people? With a weapon, car, people can do whatever they want with their bodies? No wonder why so many suicide rates are happening, you only have an atheist logic, Get out of here man, I swear my Christian friend his father got too drunk, pulled up a knife & wanted to stab his son
@@KhalilSonic Nothing but problems? What about the economical benefits it has contributed? Lots of people use alcohol, you know what happened in 1920 when alcohol was banned. Alcohol isn't that hard to make and banning it would only have people make it and sell it. We can't stop people from drinking too much and becoming violent. They're irresponsible and stupid and they'll find other ways to feed their addiction. Laws are against these people and they will be in jail not hurting anyone.
Sooo what I’m hearing is, even if she did consent and both men and women drank that night. The man still gets in trouble because he’s a man? Is the law basically saying women are dumber? I don’t get it.
unknown anon You can’t control getting drunk, unless you know how many drinks it takes for you, it was a party for adults, college kids like too get drunk, so that’s not a problem.
@@jeanniemaycrawford4466 male or female Common Sense should show that you should have full of somebody that drunk it's obvious when somebody is intoxicated
@@hbsupreme1499 it really isn't. Being concious and coherent isn't so hard when you're drunk, questionable judgement their judgment none the less. When a drink person choses to drive, they made thag judgment call and are held responsible for it
Can't men be a little more like turkish men? Standing up for women, who gave you life. I never saw that in europe, never heard about it from american male.
You started off by saying you passed out. Then you said your friends told you, you was drinking a lot. Which means you was awake and aware of what you was doing at the time. Sounds like you simply don't remember consenting to sex. Just like you don't remember drinking lots of Vodka. Please stop getting drunk and then accusing men of rape.
I just want to know how the Serbs would feel if we Bosniaks were little devils like them back then and raped their women and young girls ,but no,we defended what is ours ,Bosnia and our people ,we did not go to Serbia to commit war crimes. You see the difference there.And Srebrenica ,let us not forget.✌️😢.
Me too movement will be the "girl who cried wolf" thanks to all the lieing women about false allegations. When it actually happens no one will believe you. Harsh Truth 💯
Because he was on top of her, and he was the one in control. He forced himself on her, so why would you ask if he consented? The whole idea of rape is that the rapist doesn't ask, nor care about consent. Therefore, he raped her. No questioning here.
She said she woke up with a man on top of her, her pants down, and he even said "oops, it slipped out." when she woke up for a brief moment? It's pretty obvious.
seriously? it doesn't matter the reason. he still raped her. there is no way to justify that. unless someone said something like "I will kill you and your children if you dont rape this woman" but I very much doubt that happened. because people wouldn't do that. they wouldn't ask someone else to rape someone unless they would get a fair share too. I hate to say it but there really was no way for the other person to be innocent.
Desmond FireTv Well no, she even admitted that she doesn't remember what happen. The guy could easily thought he attained consent. There's a reason he hasn't been prosecuted.
Brynn Griffiths I'm sorry but no. You don't advocate for anyone before all the facts of the case come out. All this fluffy liberal shit is irrelevant when it comes to crimes as serious as rape, you don't have to take the side of an accuser to know that rape is wrong. There's a reason we have innocent before proven guilty as legal precedent in every modern country.
Manny also, there isn't a reason. they didn't bring anyone to court or anything, they didn't even attempt to gather evidence, and this shit happens all the time, we don't see rape as a serious enough problem as it actually is, it is a huge fucking problem and we aren't doing shit about it.
I Am Secretly A Deer "She even said she remembered one part where her trousers were down and the man was on top of her" So what? The fact that she can't remember what happened is reason enough not to prosecute for rape. She could have easily provided verbal or non-verbal consent to the guy (who I also assume was drinking as he was also at the party) but forgotten doing so. I've been drunk and woken up in some woman's bed before, guess what I didn't call it rape.
Maybe that was the first time he'd ever even had the chance to have sex after years of sexual frustration. Years of being rejected and not being able to enjoy this amazing thing everyone kept talking about which he'd never been able to enjoy.
@@vermilliongecko as a blanket statement that applies to 100% of situations that is a myth. Much of it is social pressure to have sex or feel sexually desired. Also, different people rape for different reasons and motivations.
Hazel Disks fuck off man this shit happened to me, are u telling me it was my fault i trusted my friend enough to drink with him and that it was my fault he stayed sober, waited until i passed out then raped me? Even after I'd already said no to it while I was still conscious? tf i hope you've grown up in that 5 months my god
It can happen.... Your comment is soooo stupid is like saying do not fall asleep as someone can take advantage of the situation. DO NOT RAPE is the right thing to say...
@@otterlypebbles yea, teach them not to rape and castrate rapists but if you're drunk and kill someone, you're fully responsible for those actions. Same thing can be applied here. If she's drunk, she might have consented in her stupor. She's still responsible (although to a lesser degree)
The person who was having sex with her should know they have to get clear verbal consent and use common sense if the person is in a deplorable intoxicated state logic would tell the person to restrain themselves not take advantage male or female
One simple thing. Don't get so drunk to the point you can't consent.Sorry but I can't have sympathy for women in this situation.A woman who gets so drunk can't win my respect in any way.The facts that she found two condoms means one thing /she has given a consent.A rapist wouldn't be bothered to use condoms.
Annie Yordanova are u that dumb holy shit get help, I was raped while i was passed out drunk and yes, he did use a condom bc he didn't want to get me pregnant and have to be in contact with me afterwards
That's the most ignorant statement drinking aside your trying to find loophole evidence based on some sort of backwards opinion to excuse sexual assault
I think the friends of the girl have a big responsibility in this scenario, they should've made sure everyone left the house with them. An even better friend would have stayed the night with the girl, given her liquids and taken care of her.
Yeah exactly, if it was my friend, I'd have stayed with them to make sure they would be okay 😂
Agreed
I guess they all trusted everybody in that room, if her friends but over their friends couldn't trust fully they should have never brought them at all to the room, mistakes
How about we teach women not to get drunk in public venues. Or do drugs we keep making everyone faults. Rape is not right. But getting drunk and doing drugs to the point you don't know where you are is on you. Ppl need to take accountability for there on actions
@@silasj1090 she was in her own home among people she trusted. Not out in public. People shouldn’t be getting super wasted but at the same time she again was in her home with people she trusted and was in college..so she also likely didn’t know how to pace herself yet. She should have been able to go to sleep in her own bed without worrying that she might be taken advantage of. I understand in certain scenarios where both parties are drunk and unable to consent that the lines of rape can get blurry. This is not one of those scenarios. He stayed after everyone left and she was asleep and blacking out while it was happening. He saw his opportunity and took it. In every way, this shouldn’t have been a vulnerable situation.
I also had episodes where I passed in and out .
I was raped and I remember snippets of it.
I’m scared to even report it
Kayyy what’s ur instagram let me get u help
Emaad A
I was drugged and raped repeatedly ..l can remember some of it .
@@cathyb2967 please send your insta babe i want to talk tobyoyu x
Omg me too 😞
I dont remember any of it. My friends walked in and saw him ontop of me (I was passed put drunk) they left me and told me in the morning. I dont remember any of it but he was my boyfriend and the time and I just know deep down he was more than capable of doing that to someone so I believe it. I think the fact I can't remember any of it is a blessing and a curse because I dont think im traumatised but I think because I dont know what exactly happened im finding it so hard to move past. It was over a year ago and I still breakdown about it.
« It’s not my fault for passing out, it’s his fault for raping me. »
If you teared up at that, you’re not alone, and please please know it’s NOT your fault. Love from me, to all of you fellow survivors out there.
lol
@ what’s funny
That poor girl. I'm so glad she told about what happened.
The comments saying she shouldn't have drank that much, get real. You mean people should never drink again in fear of being abused by rapists? They're not in the wrong - the rapists are and I even believe I'm pointing this out when it's basic logic!
But you can't predict rapists. By not getting drunk you're just ensuring your security
Fair enough, but if you're telling me if have to stay sober so a rapist doesn't hurt me, that's ridiculous. There's being careful, but no one should stay sober because they're scared.
+Megan Harrison why people want so bad to get drunk I don't understand. I don't drink but I have so much fun every second of my life, so that can't be because it's fun. Do people try to avoid reality and sadness by getting drunk?
Yes. People with serious issues forget their pain when drunk. People like to drink on a night out for fun, and you can't say thats wrong. Some people drink; some people rape. One of those is in the wrong and I hope to God you see which one.
+Megan Harrison I'm not stupid enough to defend rape culture, but people need to understand that there are so many things that our society harass us with (whether by ads or other lies) and we unconsciously follow it like sheep and think that it's not a bad thing when it actually is; we need to open our eyes. That's how I view alcohol, it's a terrible vice that cause car accidents, deaths, allow rape & murder to happen more often, etc., and society still encourages us to drink more and more and more. Life would be much better if alcohol didn't exist.
5 years ago I was raped under the same circumstances and yesterday was the first time when I've talked about it.
Andra I'm sorry that happened to you
My Ex did it to me and told police and 1st April got dropped. He goes past my house walking his dog like everything fine. But I have flashbacks and police say he didnt do anything during the investigation we cant do anything. I hate him but i loved him for 5 years of my life. So im in a cycle of ending my life because of it. Im only 21
This pisses me off so much. I hate how colleges and police say that they take these cases "seriously" and that "it's not tolerated" but they don't do fuck all about it. They just act like they're gonna do something but they never do anything. I'm so disgusted with the disrespect of women in this society. I'm disgusted that another women didn't even take her seriously. It's not her fault but society sees it that way and it makes me so fucking angry. This just makes me so angry because nothing even changed he just got to walk around like nothing happened. I'm so angry holy fuck.
These comments are absolutely disgusting. In this scenario she was in her own home getting drunk among her friends she trusted. When everyone left he stayed behind. While she was asleep or blacked out he removed her pants and did what he wanted to her. She was in her home in her bed. Yet most of these comments are defending the man or saying it’s her fault. This is why I kept my assault to myself. Because of people like you.
For people saying she shouldn’t have drank as much as she did..she had nowhere to drive. She was at HOME with people she trusted. She was in college and having fun with her friends. Since she’s young, she also likely didn’t know how to pace herself with alcohol just yet. College aged means she was somewhere between 18 and her early 20’s. Peer pressure could have also been a part of it. It is NEVER anyones fault for being raped or assaulted.
She could’ve said yes but don’t remember, as she said she was drunk and blacking out. And Secondly you have to be responsible for what happens at YOUR house if you have a whole bunch of people over and they all drinking ideally you would want to be the sober one to make sure everyone gets home safe. If you want to use her age as a factor then she’s old enough to drink then she should be old enough to make proper decisions. It’s unfortunate what happened to her because responsibility and accountability will help you prevent it from happening again
If anyone tells you “yes” while clearly drunk or under the influence of drugs it’s still a no. Read the definition of consent. I understand that the “line” can get confusing. Even though it’s still not smart, people in the heat of the moment people who are drunk or high sleep together all the time and regret it later.
However she described what happened and nowhere did she mention being in to that person or saying “yes”. Being raped or assaulted is embarrassing and makes you feel guilty. It’s not something that is fun to lie about. In fact, it’s easier to pretend that it never happened or to just say you slept with someone so people don’t pity or ridicule you. To admit that someone took advantage of you and that you could do nothing hurts.
Many of you are quick to say “she could have consented”..but why are you so quick to assume her story is a lie and that he couldn’t have possibly made a poor decision?
As far as “what you should do” she did everything right. She didn’t drink and drive..she was in her own home. She was with friends she trusted. She thought he left but he stayed behind secretly. That is predatory behavior.
@@Leahweahbeah your right she’s at her own home, ideally she’s should be the sober home especially if your hosting an get together and everyone is drinking. As a host you should make sure everyone gets home safe. There’s no reason to be passing out drunk whiles there’s people at your place, if anything happens to one those guest you’ll be the responsible one.
@@Leahweahbeah I can have a box of expensive jewelry out that’s very expensive, that box can contain Rolexes diamonds rings ect..and I can invite a whole bunch of people to my house and I get drunk and pass out and when I wake up it’s all gone. You can blame one of the guest as a thief which might true but I’ll still need to take responsibility on my part, I shouldn’t have a piece of expenses es jewelry out or at least unattended.. what I can I do next time is be more vigilant and responsible. You can argue and say I should choose better friends but people will always be people, that person your calling brother/sister today could be cutting your back tomorrow.. it’s unfortunate situation but there’s lessons to be learn here on both parts.
@@Leahweahbeah everyone was drinking, what are you on about?
Can't we all agree to not rape each other?? Before going to college, in highschool, there should be a "what is sexual consent" mandatory workshop for both FEMALE AND MALE STUDENTS. Sheesh it's clearly needed!!!!
I agreeeeee
Do not fee shame and do not feel dumb you were forced and you didn’t know it because you were unconscious
For me the person decided to wear a condom because of that the police told me that I would loose the case because that made it consensual. It doesn't for one second. They said it would be a open court anyone could walk in, and where pissed of at me because I didn't tell them on the day it happened. The women where very pushy and just mean, they made me feel stupid and pathetic. I went to a support place to tell them what happened and waited 8 hrs for the police to come they never did, I got home and there they where wiating for me. I didn't get the chance to tell my parents, they started asking in depth questions in front of two children my 8 yr old brother and his friend who was 12 years old. I still haven't been able to get proper therapy for it and only talked about it once to one person. It will take another 6-8 months to get seen to, I've been waiting since last June.
The system is fucked
You are Amazing and Brave. Those people failed to provide you with proper support and care. I apologize for their insensitivity and incompetence.
Some of these comments are seriously making me so angry.
Don't worry, noone would do this to you.
Sounds like the University and the Police are taking it seriously now because a lot more people know. Every parent of a potential student should know how this school handles assault: they don’t.
My friend was sexually assaulted while blackout drunk and hasn’t told anyone other than me. Then the very next night she got sexually assaulted while drunk again by someone completely different. She won’t tell me who in fear that I may do something. Has anyone ever heard of something like this happening? Also, how do I open my friend up to the idea of seeking help?
At that point, it’s your friend’s fault and totally. Really? She didn’t learn the lesson the first time? How dumb is she, really? First time wasn’t her fault. Second time, come on man..
nikolai stavrogin 😂
@@nikolaistavrogin6256 stfu
@@nikolaistavrogin6256 wow u are disgusting
@@nikolaistavrogin6256 people get depressed and try to get the away from feeling like shitty..
She filed a police report, but didn't want him in jail? can some one explain why
You need extraordinary evidence to prove rape. Who's to say that the sex wasn't consensual at the time and then she changed her mind in the morning. This has been shown to happen too many times in the U.S. You can't be expected to be believed just because you're a victim - even if you are actually raped.
Sam Gee What about when a woman makes a false accusation and then the accused "rapist" goes to jail, no questions asked? Why doe sit work out for them but not for the real rape victims?
For example the case of Biurny Peguero, she was out one night with her friends, got very drunk and wandered around, when she returned to her friends they were angry at her because she took so long to meet up with them, Biurny then made up the lie that she was raped. She even went so far as to visit the hospital to take a rape kit AND even took the emergency contraceptive pill! She gave a description of the "rapist" and he went straight to jail with no questions asked. This happens a lot, why? Why would the judge believe these false accusers and not the real victims? This shouldn't be, a lawyer should make the false accuser drop the case if he/she thinks the accuser is lying.
Because he’s black/Hispanic and if she’s white you automatically trust her. That’s happened with A LOT of cases my dude. The sad painful truth of racism mixed with rape
It's probably more common to be raped by someone you know, instead of someone you don't know. Very upsetting.
I am sorry for what happened and also thank you for sharing your story.
Someone i know just got raped when she was drunk and i dont know what to do in order to help her :(
This is honestly the most inspiring thing ever
What is so inspiring??!! He’s going to reoffend and Rape someone else. He got away with a heinous act and violating someone’s trust and the sanctity of someone’s home. The Cop was dismissive, and facilitated this crime. I am glad she’s dealing with it in a positive way but this just makes me know wayyyy more awareness needs to be brought to this issue of College & Date Rape.
Happened to me as well.
There are a lot of people that would rape, and a lot that have raped.
Got black out drunk in a club(I might have been drugged but I cant be sure of that)
We took a shot, and after the shot my friend felt so bad he went home.
I stayed,
alone.
The fire alarm went off, and everyone had to go outside.
There I sat down on a bench, in the rain, all by myself.
Than it happened,
A guy jumps on my lap, brings his face way to close to mine(something I cant remember, but people I met later on in life knew the guy(rapist) and were there when it happened. And they knew it wasnt okay but let it happen anyway.), and than the guy forces a kiss.
I took weeks before any other memories came back.
But when they did, they tore me apart.
All of a sudden I saw myself getting fcked in the ass.
And I couldnt, and cant believe that happened.
'This isnt a memory! when did this happen? who did this to me? Why did this happen to me? This cant be real!!! WTF IS GOING ON!!!!'
It destroyed my mind, I couldnt sleep, I couldnt eat, I lost all my will for intimacy.
And till this day, I still get murderess thought whenever I see someone that is gay.
That is also the reason I dont want to know who did it to me,
I will die in prison if I'd ever find out
I’m so sorry this happened to you. I believe you.
Or maybe alcohol just makes you do shit you normally wouldn't? That's not anyone else's fault.
I was almost raped, but I managed to escape and lock myself in the bathroom. I called my friend (maybe I should have called the police). The man left after that. This happened in my own apartment. The guy had followed me from the bar and I didn't really like him. I was so drunk and I couldn't protect myself.
This literally happened to me on Friday. I woke up with bruises on my face, my body and a really big one on my arm. I don’t know really what think considering it was by someone I trusted. My “best friend”.
can i talk to you?
Honestly if you ever need to chat it would be really good. This is one of those terrifying situations where we mostly isolate ourselves and would give anything to speak to someone from a similar experience. It’s good to talk and please do message me if you’d like to talk about it xx
@@jamierhodes9221 thank you
Been in this situation too. Still makes me so upset beyond help. If you need anyone to talk with I'm here.
Something like this has happened to me. Me and my friends ( they invited people they knew ) went camping and we were all drinking,I was drinking straight vodka I was paralytic. This boy kept asking to have sex I said no over and over but my friends were saying “just get it over with” and “just do it” I would say back “no I’m scared” baring in mind I was a virgin. I gave in thinking that he would leave me alone. Is this my fault because I gave in? Apparently the boy had 2 cans of beer so he was fully aware of what he was doing. The boy kept asking over and over. Is this my fault?
It’s not your fault
I'm sorry that happened to you, how old were you when this happened?
@@bensmith8957 16
@@libertyjones8694 no it went your fault and your friends should have stood up for you not push you.
@@jasminem9656 kinda is
Play a stupid game win a stupid prize. Why would you get drunk to the point that you black out? Like me leaving my car doors unlocked then im surprised when someone burgals it.
When I was little I was molested by a boy maybe 2 to 3 years older than me. I was only 5 or 6 at the time. Then when my mom didn't believe me it kept happening. Finally he moved away but I already had so much fear. Growing up has been hard I was almost kidnapped 3 times and each time was a terrible feeling so bad that I fear men now. I was then raped at 19 and 20 which of course people assumed I wanted it or that I was a whore. The first time this happened I was blacked out drunk at my house. My cousin invited guys over and I didn't like it so when I got a call that a friend was out front I went to talk to him little did I know I was going to black out and be raped. This was a horrific experience for me I cried so much the next day with bits and pieces being remembered. I was so terrified to tell anyone or report him I kept it to myself until I told a friend who just said wow he's an ass. I was then raped again at a friends party when everyone got drunk. I blacked out and found out in the morning he had taken advantage of me and my friends did nothing. So, many times things like this have happened and now my husband feels like it was my fault he says he knew my friends were bad and that I should have known to stop drinking. His excuse is when I get drunk or even black out that doesn't happen to me. Well I am sorry as you say I attract all the awful people. I am sorry I have to deal with so much pain everyday and that I hate it more than you could possibly know. Is it my fault for drinking? Is it my fault for being there at the wrong time? Why is it my fault I get followed and forced to do things I would never want to do? I don't know if this marriage is going to end or not but if we can't have trust because he believes this is my fault then so be it. I'm tired of being in pain. It's my fault because I didn't have better friends, it's my fault because I was drunk, and it's my fault because I didn't report them to the cops. Right its easier to blame me then to make a relationship work I understand. Why do people not understand that even if this happens over and over it's not our fault. Sometimes I was drunk and others I wasn't I am scared by men now and I hate drinking but even so people still follow me and hit on me how is that my fault? I just want to be left alone.
Tjoooooooo I feel like something like this happened to me this weekend, I drank with friends and I woke up home alone but naked, I was worried why I'm naked and I asked my friends who dropped me and they said one of the guys dropped me now I have trust issues if maybe he went as far as going to my room and undress me taking the advantage that I was too drunk. This is very depressing and stressing I wish God can make me have flash backs. It's a friend I don't know if I should trust that he only dropped me and left
That's so sad
i just hope one day i can forget it, i just feel like nothing now
The way I feel rn
I'm sorry
Expose his name
this happened to me I only fell asleep bc I wanted him to go but he never left and im scared to report it and I knew him when I was 9 and he was my cousin n I feel like I can’t do anything about it anymore.
Thank you for sharing your story. It's not your fault.
It is tho
What is the X Y and Z you do when you want to do something?
This happened with me. And the person who did it was my friend's younger brother. I was at my friend's house that night. And when I tried to confront this in the morning. The blames were turned against me that I invited him. My friend ( I've cut her off now ) turned against me too. She tried to slut shame me in every possible way she could. It has left a scar in me and it has scared me for life. I cannot trust anyone anymore.
Thanks for sharing your story. N I have a lot of questions, cause my girlfriend goes through d same but she has told me she has blank out n she don't remember
That why alcohol should just be ban, it's hurting & killing everyone
Responsible drinking exists.
@@user-bp3lg4gv3m but the law isn't gonna catch every person who drinks, just ban it in the first place
@@KhalilSonic People can do whatever they want with their bodies unless they hurt other people (for example DUI) and there's laws against that already. We've seen what banning alcohol does.
@@user-bp3lg4gv3m dude, do you even hear yourself talking? Alcohol is nothing but problems, who said drunk people can't kill other people? With a weapon, car,
people can do whatever they want with their bodies? No wonder why so many suicide rates are happening, you only have an atheist logic,
Get out of here man, I swear my Christian friend his father got too drunk, pulled up a knife & wanted to stab his son
@@KhalilSonic Nothing but problems? What about the economical benefits it has contributed? Lots of people use alcohol, you know what happened in 1920 when alcohol was banned. Alcohol isn't that hard to make and banning it would only have people make it and sell it. We can't stop people from drinking too much and becoming violent. They're irresponsible and stupid and they'll find other ways to feed their addiction. Laws are against these people and they will be in jail not hurting anyone.
Sooo what I’m hearing is, even if she did consent and both men and women drank that night. The man still gets in trouble because he’s a man? Is the law basically saying women are dumber? I don’t get it.
Frost Bite you can’t consent being passed out same as you can’t consent if you were asleep
unknown anon You can’t control getting drunk, unless you know how many drinks it takes for you, it was a party for adults, college kids like too get drunk, so that’s not a problem.
@@dannyknight595 she was really drunk, she most likely agreed to it judging from how she said the man was conversing
@@jeanniemaycrawford4466 male or female Common Sense should show that you should have full of somebody that drunk it's obvious when somebody is intoxicated
@@hbsupreme1499 it really isn't. Being concious and coherent isn't so hard when you're drunk, questionable judgement their judgment none the less.
When a drink person choses to drive, they made thag judgment call and are held responsible for it
I'm not going to share my opinion cuz everyone will go against me.
what is your opinion
Cuz u now it will be bs
Please becarful in the decisions you make even if your Alone.
Can't men be a little more like turkish men? Standing up for women, who gave you life. I never saw that in europe, never heard about it from american male.
Sounds like you were lucky. Had you persisted with your frivolous complaint you might have ended up being charged with making a false complaint.
is the song sung by ed sheeran?
hennylau95 The first one was. I See Fire. :)
You started off by saying you passed out.
Then you said your friends told you, you was drinking a lot. Which means you was awake and aware of what you was doing at the time.
Sounds like you simply don't remember consenting to sex. Just like you don't remember drinking lots of Vodka.
Please stop getting drunk and then accusing men of rape.
I just want to know how the Serbs would feel if we Bosniaks were little devils like them back then and raped their women and young girls ,but no,we defended what is ours ,Bosnia and our people ,we did not go to Serbia to commit war crimes. You see the difference there.And Srebrenica ,let us not forget.✌️😢.
28 Sept 2021😭
I would like to hear the guy version of the story
Me too movement will be the "girl who cried wolf" thanks to all the lieing women about false allegations. When it actually happens no one will believe you. Harsh Truth 💯
The guy was probably drunk too. How come no one's asking whether he consented?
ErraticConduct Maybe she forced her vagina ontop of his dick? You can say all these things, but there's 0 proof for either.
Because he was on top of her, and he was the one in control. He forced himself on her, so why would you ask if he consented? The whole idea of rape is that the rapist doesn't ask, nor care about consent. Therefore, he raped her. No questioning here.
***** He was on top of her? How do you know?
She said she woke up with a man on top of her, her pants down, and he even said "oops, it slipped out." when she woke up for a brief moment? It's pretty obvious.
***** A person can say anything.
❤️💛💚💙💜
OMG THEY PLAYED ED SHEERAN
This is so dumb, I'd like to hear the other side of the story before making a judgement.
seriously? it doesn't matter the reason. he still raped her. there is no way to justify that. unless someone said something like "I will kill you and your children if you dont rape this woman" but I very much doubt that happened. because people wouldn't do that. they wouldn't ask someone else to rape someone unless they would get a fair share too. I hate to say it but there really was no way for the other person to be innocent.
Desmond FireTv Well no, she even admitted that she doesn't remember what happen. The guy could easily thought he attained consent. There's a reason he hasn't been prosecuted.
Brynn Griffiths I'm sorry but no. You don't advocate for anyone before all the facts of the case come out. All this fluffy liberal shit is irrelevant when it comes to crimes as serious as rape, you don't have to take the side of an accuser to know that rape is wrong. There's a reason we have innocent before proven guilty as legal precedent in every modern country.
Manny also, there isn't a reason. they didn't bring anyone to court or anything, they didn't even attempt to gather evidence, and this shit happens all the time, we don't see rape as a serious enough problem as it actually is, it is a huge fucking problem and we aren't doing shit about it.
I Am Secretly A Deer
"She even said she remembered one part where her trousers were down and the man was on top of her" So what? The fact that she can't remember what happened is reason enough not to prosecute for rape. She could have easily provided verbal or non-verbal consent to the guy (who I also assume was drinking as he was also at the party) but forgotten doing so. I've been drunk and woken up in some woman's bed before, guess what I didn't call it rape.
Maybe that was the first time he'd ever even had the chance to have sex after years of sexual frustration. Years of being rejected and not being able to enjoy this amazing thing everyone kept talking about which he'd never been able to enjoy.
Oh you're pitying the rapist now? Rape isn't about sex, sex is just a weapon used to control someone.
The he should’ve paid for a prostitute
Then he can get a prositute
@@vermilliongecko as a blanket statement that applies to 100% of situations that is a myth. Much of it is social pressure to have sex or feel sexually desired. Also, different people rape for different reasons and motivations.
what's your point?
When scenarios like this happen, both people are at a reasonable fault.
Hazel Disks fuck off man this shit happened to me, are u telling me it was my fault i trusted my friend enough to drink with him and that it was my fault he stayed sober, waited until i passed out then raped me? Even after I'd already said no to it while I was still conscious? tf i hope you've grown up in that 5 months my god
@@rc-ck2uv yes, you got too drunk, to the point where your judgement was impaired.
passing out isn't your fault. You should be able to get drunk to the point of passing out without getting raped
Don't get drunk!
It can happen.... Your comment is soooo stupid is like saying do not fall asleep as someone can take advantage of the situation. DO NOT RAPE is the right thing to say...
Don't rape people!
Then drink responsibly, both parties were drinking and were under the influence.
Doesnt matter. Would you kill someone drunk? No. Its the same. The boys should be taught not to rape. Its not that hard
@@otterlypebbles yea, teach them not to rape and castrate rapists but if you're drunk and kill someone, you're fully responsible for those actions.
Same thing can be applied here. If she's drunk, she might have consented in her stupor. She's still responsible (although to a lesser degree)
@@otterlypebbles That's unfortunately not how it works.
@@jeanniemaycrawford4466 If two people are drunk, and one kills the other, does that mean they consented to getting murdered?
is she can't remember how does she know whether or not she consented
The person who was having sex with her should know they have to get clear verbal consent and use common sense if the person is in a deplorable intoxicated state logic would tell the person to restrain themselves not take advantage male or female
@@hbsupreme1499 so if a girl is drunk and throwing herself at a guy, he supposed to not take her?
@@hbsupreme1499 don’t get no clearer and verbal than that
i mean thats cool , but nobody asked
One simple thing. Don't get so drunk to the point you can't consent.Sorry but I can't have sympathy for women in this situation.A woman who gets so drunk can't win my respect in any way.The facts that she found two condoms means one thing /she has given a consent.A rapist wouldn't be bothered to use condoms.
Annie Yordanova are you dumb? Drinking is not a crime. Rape is. Also yeah rapists use condoms to not leave semen inside the victim sometimes
Annie Yordanova are u that dumb holy shit get help, I was raped while i was passed out drunk and yes, he did use a condom bc he didn't want to get me pregnant and have to be in contact with me afterwards
Oh. My. God. 🤦♀️
That's the most ignorant statement drinking aside your trying to find loophole evidence based on some sort of backwards opinion to excuse sexual assault
Why not say that men shouldn't drink so they don't get accused of raping someone?
Hahahaha did she think alcohol was water why should you do something you can't handle.
Kipeme Junior Why didn't the guy stop himself from raping her?
What's that got to do with someone raping you?
drunken hookups are not rape, they were BOTH drunk
It's not a hook-up, she didn't consent. You need to learn the law, or you could be convicted.
Tyler Kong she was passed out
The man wasn’t passed out was he!! She didn’t get on top of him while he was sleeping did she?!?!
Fake
This shit is hilarious