When A Man Sends You MIXED SIGNALS, Here's What He's Thinking
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- When A Man Sends You MIXED SIGNALS
- When A Man Sends You MIXED SIGNALS, Here's What He's Thinking
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I’m a woman but not sure if marriage should always be the goal. I think too many women are focused on the destination and not the journey. I was married and it ended anyways. lol What I would rather prefer is a long term relationship and be a life partner to each other not necessarily a husband and wife. A marriage license only brings the state government into our lives.
Knowing what you want creates clarity...
There’s also the sanctity of marriage in God, so it is not just a government license. But I still agree that too many focus on marriage as the end result for both men and women alike. Especially if you have been divorced and in our later years. A long-term partnership may work better. Both need to be on the same page.
I agree. Been married and even though it was an agreeable split of everything, pretty much, it was still awful going through that. Next time, I want to be able to leave without having to unwind that much stuff.
Though if I met someone as nice as I hope, presumably we could work out things nicely in whatever way is best for us.
I think it’s about an all in intention. “In Each Other’s Care” is a good book by Stan Tatkin. I like the all in mindset. Not sure how you get there without openness to marriage.
@@chirokathleen Good point. As much as I am not in favor of involving the state govt into our financial affairs, I do agree with you on this concept of being "all in" and how that can be achieved without a marriage license.
When a man says it takes him longer to fall in love.. I think that translates to I’m not into you anymore. It a man wants to be with a woman he’s not going to risk losing her. Men are by nature risk avoidant.
Interesting
I would agree with that to a degree, Kristine , And or keeping their options open.
I just saw the Barbie movie and they talked about men wanting a “casual long distance minimally committed” girlfriends. It was pretty insightful for a silly movie.
Yeah. A woman in every port!
It was an amazing movie: you could watch it on a superficial level or dig into Barbie’s existential crisis. She starts as a perfect, immortal plastic creature who begins to question her existence, desire to feel her feelings and eventually chooses to become an imperfect, mortal, human woman-with a vagina!! Ken is an extraneous person who learns to be independent and love himself. Not so silly.
Sounds like dating site men, not all.
If a man is showing mixed signals , he is still figuring himself out. A mature man KNOWS what he wants. ( that goes for all ages and genders)
I agree . He is full of insecurities and very confused. Good men know what they want and go for it.
Humans are wounded
@@JonathonAslay no doubt . Going into a relationship is either beneficial or detrimental. I’ve noticed the ones who are the most lonely are typically the ones who remain in detrimental relationships. Self love is crucial. Once you’re burned as much as I’ve been 🔥 burned , you’ll learn to accept your loneliness and let people know that you are not desperate for love. That’s power and also wards off psychos who prey on lonely or empathetic potential victims.
There's loneliness and aloneness. When you're secure in yourself and are comfortable in your own skin, then you don't settle for anything less than you deserve! ♥️ Well rounded individuals are comfortable on their own . They don't need a partner to feel whole. Indeed beneficial or detrimental.
@@sherriflemming3218Sherri, you are so right!❤❤
Marie is a beautiful woman, very gracefully. I'm not sending any negativity but as i watched each episode, I could sense that Marie was not feeling the relationship. She always appeared uncomfortable and annoyed. I wasn't shocked at all that she ended things. I think she was infatuated initially and then the infatuation wore off. This is actually a normal response and reaction when people are infatuated and it wears off.
Interesting
Oh my goodness, the money and heart analogy is really practical. Thank you!
Hine sight is 100% 😂. When Miss Marie said "you were exhausting", that was a key. Someone healed would say "you are thrilling"
.
I think the constant analyzation of every aspect of the relationship could become exhausting as opposed to just being present and enjoying life.
Not everyone goes into relationships needing a clear picture of exactly what is to come. Some people enjoy the journey . Not everyone needs an end goal. And that's ok. I guess everyone doesn't follow the same srtnof principles or values and not everyone has a need to expose every aspect of another person's personality or past trauma. It is ok to just be .
Live each day one day at a time. Be the love you were created to be.
❤ peace and love all. ✌💙
That’s not necessarily true that someone healed would see him as thrilling, it’s also genuine lack of compatibility. What lights and excites one person can be another’s least favorite thing. You can’t “heal” your way into preferences.
@@biancamichelle11 thank you I totally agree, but moving in with Johnathan, I'd expect those 'bases' you wrote about would've already been covered in her mind.
I haven't listened to this channel for awhile because I've been busy meeting men. Haha. So I am totally shocked to hear that Jonathon and Marie have choosen to separate and move on. Oh My God! Wow. Big news.
It was so joyful to get to see you two come together. She is a stellar human being. Beautiful inside and out. I will miss her presence here. She is a savy woman and I learned much from how she gracefully navigates through life with such caring, feminine energy as I can be too heavy handed. I'm sad too. Seems like you two did a beautiful job and I wish you both great love, peace and understanding as you adjust to the changes. I am grateful to have Jonathon's talks. He makes me laugh and gives me some much needed tools to navigate the confusing world of intimate man woman relationship.
the lady you were with came across as a lovely, sincere person, and you are carrying forward in an impressive manner
🙏
This is what trustworyhy coach is like. So humble and honest, and it makes so helpful that we can hear and understand from your own side too, it makes it so authentic. Because lot of preach here like the bests, but we hardly know about them anything expect what they teach.
You show compassion to both sides, but you are clear and upright. I really like it.
Men very much judge themselves on their own professional success. Im a retired clinical psych professor. I was in a 41 yr relationship with a man who was a bankrupt former multi millionaire. The economy took him down before we met h8s wofe walked out saying, " I married you for your potential.'..I could never convince him that he had no control over the economy. He tried to move into not needing to earn alot as affimation of his worth...to himself. I had great admiration for him and great love for him.
Finally when we built our retirement home 30 yrs into our relationship he recovered. He was our contractor..that is how he had made his original money.
It was beautiful to see his joy waking up to work on the project...he never wanted it to end ...neither did I , fearing his joy would dissipate. It didnt . His past was finally in the past...
I do not value money more than my heart. But I try to be with the person in the same financial class as I am. I also do not give moneys away.
Gotcha
Jonathan, have you thought of creating a program to teach emotional intelligence to children and college students? It is so much needed because the majority of young people, unfortunately, grow up in dysfunctional households, and you have a gift to synthesise and break these complex concepts down!
Not yet
The world needs an emotional intelligence hall of fame :)
👍
i don’t believe in love. i believe in like
Falling in love is continuous and I don’t believe it happens at a particular time. It evolves over time.
You make a big difference in everyone’s life. Thank you.
I was in an intentional relationship and at 3 months I realized that I didn't love him and I felt like I would not come into these feelings in the future so I made a conscious decision to not drag it out. I think it three months if you have answered all the questions and yet are still not feeling the feelings it's a good time to reassess the relationship.
Hi Jonathon. I spent too many years married to horrible nasty toxic narcissist with big drinking problem. The marriage was a huge huge awakening for me . Learning about me and so many " whys". That was from 20 years old. Divorced now and glad I'm able to not just survive but thrive. Money, stuff, holidays etc dont matter. Being free to be yourself your natural happy lovely smart gifted person they really want to be them selves but aren't is the true prize. Plus the wonderful sons that come from that time. Now I'm with a new man about 4 months. So much of this post illuminates and explains in a clear true way. You offer clarity and sense. Which Is wonderful. Thanks for being here and showing us even the experts are real people.
Jonathon Thank you so much for all of your support. You are a real blessing to us older women who most dating coaches don’t relate to because they are so young. ❤
Awe... thank you 😊
Amen for standing up for your past relationship. People can be so ignorant and ego driven to put others down. Wake up people!
Jonathan, I value your insights, advises and prayers. It touched my heart and so does many viewers of your channel.
May your advocacy continue to flourish.
God Bless you
Wow, thank you
Jonathan, no apology needed for "going on a rant", while on the rant you share Valuable Information - Thank You.
Went out one evening to listen to a band I like. My intentions were to meet people. Do a little dancing. Even if I danced alone. Event was outside. A man approached me and was literally smoking a cigarette. He exhaled his smoke in my face with no concern if I'd be offended. Gag me with a maggot...Well, I don't partake in the inhalation of smelly cigarettes. He was trying to strike up a conversation with me. I realized rather quickly that I needed to let him know that I do not like cigarettes. He looks at me in shock, grumbled a few words and left. Guys, this is so rude... to each his own ...but as a first encounter this was soooo inconsiderate. He may well be a nice person, but I'll never know...
That must have sucked
@@JonathonAslay yep...but I didn't let it ruin my evening...
Jonathan, I found value in this conversation! It made a difference for me and I see I do still need to focus on me for awhile longer before starting to try dating. Still decluttering after downsizing (widower of 7 yrs and sold our house of 27 years, 5 mos. ago Yay!) and I am still learning internet marketing...I might possibly become a coach for female widowers aged 45 to 55. We will see!!!!
not everyone will find mr or ms right. In the meantime we need to have a qualitative and fulfilling life instead of "waiting for someone" it is better "to do". find things in life that are fulfilling. If love happens to come along - great but if it doesn't you will still have a fulfilling life!
Exactly
I agree. And since even late 30s, I've had difficulty having women friends because they are all obsessed with getting a man's attention. They don't want to enjoy outings or befriend other women.
Well said, Joan.
@@elipotter369 True, Eli, there are some women like this.
So sorry about the relationship change, you'll be better for it
.
Thanks for making a podcast on this subject to make people aware of this scammers that take advantage of apparent vulnerable people.
I had had experience with men asking me for money after a few days of meeting. My instant question is “ why are you asking me for money? I don’t even know you” please get lost! Block them and never talk to them ever is my next move.
Bravo!
I'm so sorry, Jonathan, you guys broke up!! First time hearing this! Breaks my heart!
And the people cruziffiying Marie are sick, immature! I thought the ladies listening to this channel would be more kind and mature than that!
Sad!
Jonathon I found value in this conversation.
Thank you for all that you do! 🙌
So glad!
Jonathon, I'm sorry to hear about your breakup. It was nice to have you and Marie here. It's always nice to hear from both male and female perspective of things. Marie is a very insightful woman who's full of compassion. I've learnt a lot from both of you. I would say yes, I found a lot of value watching your videos. It made me see where I went wrong in my dating process and I've learnt a lot of things about men and dating through your videos! I'm also seeing how the things you say works in practice as you're currently going through it (and have gone through them as well) I hope more good things will come your way. Thanks!
We loved it that you shared Marie with us
I'm happy to hear that 😊
I was so confused for a while. I had no idea that you parted ways. It was for a reason and i'm glad you enjoyed the time you were together. We need to learn from every relationship we have. Not all are forever. Thanks for sharing Jonathan.
Thank you so much!!
Totally agree, breathing is an amazing practice, I teach and demonstrate to my patients on a regular bases! It can also reset your Autonomic Nervous System.
Yes YOU ARE MAKING A DIFFERENCE IN PEOPLES LIFE
Johnathan you make a difference in my life
Thank you 😊
My heart goes out to you both 💔 and wow women on here spewing we knew 😢 ❤️
Marie was wonderful. Will miss her. Best of luck to her in her journey!❤
Thank you so much!
Jonathan, I can't believe Marie ended things!!! I thought like the other commenter, that she didn't get where you were coming from, and uncomfortable. You are a real catch, extremely empathetic and caring. I'm praying someone who really cares for you comes along, you so deserve it.
Awww I love your directness and backing up your ex. It's ok to rant, we've all done it.
Hi
After 6 yrs ending a relationship of on 9 months off 3 then back on.
I realise he was an avoidant now from listening to you and Stan.
We ran into each other 18 months later but he is only wanting a physical relationship but through the few catch ups I was able to talk through issues which healed me.
Now I can see him as just liking me for things you mentioned, not love, so I don’t think I will bother or keep it light and never serious.
You know I love your rants as you make the most sense and honest comments are great. I agree with it all.
Thanks for sharing. I’m sorry about your breakup, but it made me feel better to know even someone like you who has so much information can still find yourself in a relationship that ends. Thank you for your vulnerability in sharing your life experiences with us. I had a fairly recent breakup as well.
Thank you so much!
Had the identical criteria and desire to get married,have kids etc...also 25 years of age. Now at 62 I feel as if I robbed myself of all the things I might have done or been. I accept responsibility for my current state...but only half the blame. Great show, was ringing bells for me all the way through!
in my mature years finally I am understanding men more...if the guy isn't looking for marriage ...dont go beyond the first date - its the old "kiss a lot of frogs before finding the prince" - the guy is being honest wants sex with no obligation or responsibility and wants to move on when the relationship becomes boring! Women need to be far less emotional when picking a guy to be their partner. and many women are desperate (look at the ones dating married men! or who tolerate cheating men! )
Indeed
You may be right for sure. I've been thinking a lot about this lately. Women who have given their hearts may have made the better choice. Life doesn't bring us endless opportunities unfortunately. Was thinking recently about a great aunt who loved a married man & had a child by him in the 50s when this had unbearable stigma. Did she do the right thing? Not to judge, I hope, but My heart said yes. She loved & got a beautiful son from it that she was crazy about & who tended to her when he was of age, gave her grandchildren & ultimately a funeral. Was it all she dreamed? No. but what would have been her life if she didn't give herself over to what was in her heart? What was there for her otherwise? We truly love only a few in life. I don't know why. If a person is blessed to have that love reciprocated, maybe even for a moment, maybe the prudent thing is to go with it. What is the point of going out of this life without loving who you love? Let's not judge each other bc our lives are fleeting & opportunity is scarce to non-existent. It's not raining men. Maybe never was. It's raining women-always was. Why? BC men choose as Jonathon says. Until that power shift takes place & women choose-women are doomed. Mark my words.
@@mariad1151you have a point, but I abhor dishonesty, and that's what most relationships are based on, if the woman is mistress.
I don't judge all such relationships as unacceptable, the ones I saw that worked out the husband left quite quickly and remarried happily with a better match.
But way too many women go after other women's partners, which I don't endorse.
Also, huge numbers of men are deceptive, with numerous women, who don't know or are fed justifications that they choose to go along with.
For some women the only way they are going to get a man is to be a long term mistress.
But I don't want women like that as my close friends, unless there's a lot of honesty going on.
Agree Joan. Pragmatic about love or a pragmatic romantic. Choose wisely.
Jonathon, when you go off on a rant the best rantufuckations come forth from your heart like verbal liquid gold
WOW! Thank you
I'm dating a widower who was married 25 years. He's set I'm his ways...especially how he thinks he can yell at me...I deleted his number last night after one of his yelling dpasms
That's sucks
Don’t go back!
Yikes! There are lots of men with serious personality flaws marauding around looking for life partners in the older age groups.
One that i met: in our first encounter i figured he was prone to anger too fast.
I found out later another woman in the group had put up with him for two years until a final unreasonable yelling rage she changed her mind!
@@elipotter369 It's Run Forrest Run!
You did the right thing, DAGRACE.
Disrespect and abuse is closure.
Nothing wrong with a rant ❤
Theres no other way to say this but when i first saw this woman when you first announced the relationship my first thought was you chose her simply for her looks.
Sounds like 12 Steps….very good stuff. Meditation is great. When we have an attitude of gratitude we see life in an entirely new way. My best to you.
Well said!
Regrets suck. Remember that the next time we catch ourselves giving our power away
Exactly
No,, apologizing is not shame, it's humility. Humility & shame are two different things , humility heals us shame cripples us😔
Indeed
Jonathan I really do appreciate your contents, the insights you give us and your communication style! Also you come across 100% genuine in wanting to bring value and clarity to the messed up dating dynamics out there!
A special thank you from my side, I have learnt a lot by watching your videos!
Big hug❤
I appreciate that!
I think people are just sad you were hurt when they say that stuff.
How so?
@@JonathonAslay her statement doesn't make sense
Great way, not to suppress and feel the feelings until there is no feelings left to feel🙏🌞
You have to have good communication, and when you communicate there has to be interaction meaning feedback and actually listen. That's just the beginning.
It’s the VERY MEAN PEOPLE that don’t know how to come from a place of neutrality… it takes away the need to be IN FULL CONTROL.. Jonathan- this is a wonderfully authentic video
Healing is one of my greatest values. I get that.
I'm adding growth as another value...
AMEN ❤JONATHAN YOU ARE MAKING A DIFFERENCE IN MY LIFE
Great topic! I’m so into asking tough questions and conversation that allows both to understand and know each other.
Real Lpve is Meeting @ the minds and growing and feeling a fair co-existance on a cellular level. IN otherwprds. "Being on the same page, a daily committment.
This is an excellent video! I’m addicted to these videos.
Glad you like them!
Just adore you! All of your daily practices...yes. I am in the same boat. Open to receiving my love and the miracles and opportunities opening for me to show up and offer to others what I've learned through my experiences and insights as well, as you have.
Any man who shows me who he is right away, good and bad, I believe him. If a guy tells me he isn't looking for a serious/committed relationship and also giving me mixed signals. I say we ARE not a match and good bye! I had this something happen with a guy on The League where he was divorced with 3 kids and I asked him what are you seeking and he said "I don't know" we shall see where it goes. When I told him we are not a match because I am seeking a long term committee relationship, he actually told me "wow you are so short sided and you do you" - which is basically code for f* ck you. I told him his message was rude and disrespectful and he needs therapy and meds and for his hostile behavior. I will say more women need to TELL men off if they are not nice and disrespectful.
👍🏼
I just ended a confusing relationship. I slept with him too soon. He said he wanted to pursue a relationship then he started comparing me to other women and complaining. It was confusing. I should have been friends first. Thanks for advice.
Good for you! You stated you weren’t willing to lower your standards for him and he tried to neg you for having personal integrity. Very toxic.
@@deejames1st yup this is why he is divorced and bitter.
Indeed. Tell them off! Go Jennifer! You rock! 💪 Make them accountable.. Jonathon's expression. " Go practice that on the low hanging fruit" Cut to the chase of the bs, negging, disrespect and gameplaying, ASAP! A backbone and a bs meter . We're allergic to duct tape! 😁
Jonathon -- Thank you as always for your insight. I'm so very sorry to hear of your recent break up. I didn't follow all of your social media during the time you were together. But it sounds like this was a tough one. Again, I'm so very sorry. Take your sweet time in grieving your loss. Break ups are so difficult. But don't spend too much time grieving-- there are plenty of heart-centered women out there who would be lucky to date you. I'm so happy to see how many followers you have who benefit from your wisdom. Sending you lots of love ❤️ from the east coast. Better things await ... I promise. Your former client and friend, Jennifer
Big hugs to you Jennifer... kind of you respond, much appreciated ❤️
I love this video, J. The topic of love, that decernment, is excellent! Very guiding and insightful, Jonathon!
Life is a mine field but we are enjoying and learning it all. I love you and appreciate how much you give to us all. I have been a widow 16 yrs and am strong from reading your books and as an anxious person who believes in seeing issues but forgive and not so judgemental as others eg avoidants…. We all make mistakes and being responsible for our own actions …. Like you I see the issues and dissect it. Learn and move forward … communication is the key and how say it. Yes real closure is key!!!!! Seeing an old flame who ghosted me …..again, allowed closure… I feel great and can see clearly now.
Some men are juggling more than 1 woman and therefore they might not spend anything on you. Yes, it takes time to find out if you are truly compatible and love someone else. After a yr one should know
True, Elaine. Players.
@@sherriflemming3218 those guys want friends with benefits relationships. Immediately run
Thank you Jonathan. You definitely are helping me!
Happy to help!
I have been so busy lately that I missed a few episodes, lovely video. I'm unfortunate to hear that you and Marie broke up. You both looked happy together. Both of you can overcome the differences in time; who knows. Perhaps it is still fixable. All the best, Jonathan. Thanks for the video
Jonathan, I would find a ton of value if you presented a session focused on your book list. I’ve checked the titles out and want to read all the books. It would be helpful to hear you highlight the reasons you value the material so much. Just trying to find my own road map through the material. 😊
Awesome content... absolutely love this one. Your amazing Johnathon❤ My heart is valuable and it always comes at a price. That's why I am selective on who I date and become involved with. 😉
You are so welcome
First question's answer, because the best love in the world will not pay your rent or buy your chiildren healthcare if they need it. But large amounts of money can open the door to all sorts of connections; you can't buy ACTUAL love, but you can buy its approximation from most people, including the people that most folks would want or be attracted to.
Thank you for your wisdom!
You are so welcome
Only super successful people have coaches👏🏼👏🏼👏🏼👍🏼
I've heard
When a man sends you mixed signals, he must be bipolar !!
Not always... mixed feeling is a human thing 😌
Often fearful avoidant or dismissive avoidant attachment send mixed signals - the FA wants AND fears relationship. The DA wants a situationship without a deep connection. Severely anxious often craft you into an idealized version due to their limerence, and don’t even often know and can’t voice their own needs outside of attachment.
Well said, Meg. 👍
Excellent explanation and one am noticing in a DA I am dating. It’s exhausting navigating it and enlightening learning experience at the same time. Thanks for sharing.
Jonathon--remember that teacher was the one with the issue, problem, shortcoming not you. 🤗🤗🤗❤❤❤
I sincerely appreciate your work. I appreciate that you share your personal experiences. You are a very good communicator Jonathon. I appreciate your rant lol….
I appreciate that!
How about this, walk us through how it went down. I’d be crying and just so shocked. I think introducing her to your channel was wonderful! We saw you try and move forward! So share and help people through how it went for the next days after.
Watch the video from last week. Letting Go
@@JonathonAslayok will do. Most of us hesitate going out there to try.. to not go through this so yes to hear how you ventured and kept your independence to then be okay as best you can when and if it doesn’t go to eternity then it would be good for us to still hear more off and on. Thanks for sharing!
Amen🎉
👍
I so agree with you about our value on romance. it’s all fantasy bullshit we have been fed in movies .
Great show. I appreciate your honesty and transparency. I acknowledge your understanding and skills to deal with the break-up; however, having recently gone through a divorce, i feel more needs to be discussed in regards to the loss. The approach can be high level but the loss needs to be acknowledged, and given the appropriate amount of time and energy to heal. I am very fond of Katherine woodward and her work. I look forward to further discussions regarding this topic
Jonathon I'm so Sorry to Hear About the Ending of your Relationship with Marie! I Admired how you Both Complimented each other! It was obvious you were both at the start of Building Something Amazing for the Long Hall and seemed you had the Dedication, Commitment and Life Experiences to Successfully have Your Happily Ever After, After!!! My Heart is Breaking for You Both~💔
How long does it take to “ fall in love “ from my experience with 2 long term partners .
Falling in love came first , it was exciting . Over time it moved to deeper Love . I saw their flaws and our differences and they mine .I found acceptance and still wanted to be there .
I didn’t love their imperfections I tolerated them and accepted both of Us were most imperfect and would at times drive one another bonkers .
Amen. Jonathon, you are making a difference in my life. Love your communication style and insight!
It does,,, "healing takes Herculine work" ❤️. Mr Johnathan, that should be the title of your next book
I like being with myself, and if God wants me with someone I'm ready any time. I would give myself wholeheartedly, but I will not give sex unless marriage. I am God's bride until then.
I like to meet up at a Boba Tea establishment. They serve a variety of coffee, tea and more. Nice and casual. The first meetup is not a date.
Humans Make Change Due To Pain and Pleasure Stay Strong 🙏 Invest Wisely Celebrate The Love and Losses
You made an interesting comment about moving away from meditation practice during your time with Marie. This made me wonder because I'm guilty of this. How do you discern enmeshing too much with a loved one in a relationship? You could do a video on this subject. I've learned so much about codependency and enmeshment. I can unintentionally lose myself or parts of me in a relationship.
Awww sad to see you two part ways Yet the future is bright good health & happiness to all.🎉🎉🎉🎉
I'm afraid, always,especially when being rejected 😕
Yes blaming stops healing
Exactly
I loved and dated someone for his heart, but he took advantage of it and left me without any money to spend on myself ...so I m not doing this again 😒..just a response about why I say no to yhe cup of coffee...I wish I could trust men again
Where I come from we say it takes 1 kg salt to learn a person. You are beautiful man.
Interesting
Well said Jonathon!
Jonathon, maybe the reason some of your followers were rude with regard to Marie is because they themselves are hurting…remember “hurt people hurt people” sometimes. This doesn’t excuse bad behavior - there are a lot of damaged people in the world we live in.
Haven’t even watch this video yet and the answer to that is yes but we all do really sad. I saw the last video and I started to cry because it seems hopeless to get married to somebody and they still can’t commit to living with you after 13 years! And they wonder what the problem is!!?
Humans are broken is the problem
❤❤❤ love and healing to you both xx
Reached out to a guy on Match who met several items I'm seeking. He responded that I live too far. 55 minutes by highway, and we aren't talking big cities.
How come y'all broke up? I'm sorry for y'all hope y'all can heal sending love.
Best video ever.
WOW, thank you 😊