Kindred | Ep. 5 | Terri's Adoption Story
ฝัง
- เผยแพร่เมื่อ 26 มิ.ย. 2024
- Abandonment issues! Adoptee identity! Adoption Awareness! Adoption trauma! Adoption Education!
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"What is wrong with me?"
When I heard Terri say that in her interview, I felt my throat tighten as I held back my tears and cries. I can't tell you how many times I've asked myself that very question over the years, as a child, as a young adult and now in my mid thirties. I continue to work on this lifelong journey as an adoptee, but there are times, even when everything seems to be going well and right in my life, that I still feel this overwhelming sadness. It can be triggered by something as simple as a friend saying, you should be grateful that you don't have a sister. The friend of course is just trying to be funny, as they talk about the drama between sisters. But what happens is I am then reminded of the sisters I know I have over in Korea, that I will probably never get to meet or have a relationship with. That hurts deeply and profoundly and is difficult to reconcile with. There are just so many things I see, hear and read that can trigger my own adoption trauma.
Terri grew up in a same-race family, with loving parents she bonded deeply with. Despite having strong role models and racial mirrors in her childhood, she still struggled with finding a sense of belonging and a strong sense of identity. This journey to discover her own sense of self has continued into her adult years.
I am incredibly grateful Terri decided to share her adoption story with me. I found myself moved by how honest and vulnerable she was. As a late discovery adoptee, finding out she was adopted at 12 years old, it was very eye opening to me that even before she knew, she still felt a disconnect with her family. There was this fear inside of her that they were going to give her away.
I found so many elements to her story that resonated with me. She truly provides remarkable insight from her own lived experiences and has wonderful advice for adoptive parents and adoptees.
I hope you will bear witness to Terri's incredible, moving and beautiful story.
The impact of adoption is life-long. Each adoptee's story is unique as they continue to process their own adoption and what that means. But for many adoptees they share the feelings of rejection, fear of abandonment, struggles with feeling whole and the profound grief of the many losses in adoption.
Terri is in the process of writing her own memoir called, "X: Memoirs of the Anonymous Me", which should be coming out this year!
Connect with and follow Terri on:
Instagram terrisings
Twitter @terrichampion1
Thank you so much for watching and I hope you'll share with your friends, family and community.
Shelby Redfield Kilgore
An adoptee filmmaker trying to make a difference one film at a time.
www.wearemirrorlight.com
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I have seen this on the 19th of September 2022.
I'm 72 years old.
The youngest out of our "then" family of 9.
Our parents and us the 7 kids.
We did lose our Mom when I was 4 ... God needed her in heaven ... she was 42 ...
My life-story isn't comparable to yours.
But feeling wise ... it's comparable.
Never new the lost of my Mom on such an young age could have consequences like this.
After listening to your story ... things began falling into place.
Thanks for sharing this.
God bless you ...
Wow you really did favor your adoptive family. It’s sad you felt the disconnect. I have a cousin that is adopted. My aunt and uncle have always been honest with her. She was a gift that was chose. Loved the way they encouraged her. She grew up to be a strong woman.
😢 this resonates with me so much. This journey is so hard, thank you for sharing. 💕
Lucky to have been chosen to share their life. This is is a beautiful way to explain what adoption is. Thank you for sharing your life story.
Thank you for sharing your story!
.... and we, His children, are all adopted into the Kingdom of God... lots of love and blessings to you precious woman!
Psalms 27:10 Even if my own father and mother abandon me, Jehovah himself will take me in.♥️
Terri's story was very heart warming....she is a delightful lady, & a remarkable woman, who exudes Peace....within....@ least I felt that. She went through a lot !! At a tender age, far to long. But her spirit within was her stabilizer, in God....
I hope she gets to read these comments...
Blessings Terri...🌹💐🎶🎶😎
I will let her know to check out the comments! Thank you for watching.
are we not all in the same boat? our true identity is really only be found in our LORD JESUS CHRIST!
I love your story. Everyone feels lost at some times in their lives.
i see this all the time. really one needs to not have the symptoms of obfuscating the child's identitiy (stolen child syndrome)--anonymous IVF for example. i see cross cultural adoptions where the parents seem to think it is okay to change a growing toddler's name and traditional foods, just abruptly without awareness or even some preparation/explanation for the child. the child takes a while to calm down. then there is the other side of the coin. one would need to tell the child where they came from in a positive way and not create trauma. leave something familiar around the kid. the lose everything all at once --- their name, their food, their familiar caregivers. this i am your mommy i am your daddy only works with infants and it isn't exactly true ---- you are mom and dad #2 truthfully.
I really glade you publish your story because it gives others courage to come out with their own story
I will be publishing my book Stephen because it is important.
Execellent. Thank you.
adoptive parents needs to let their adopted kids know how lucky they are to get along with your adopters and have good upbringing and adequate food and education and guidance into adulthood. kids who are stuck in the foster system might not be as lucky. no one hurt you growing up. you didn't have to be raised by an alcoholic or drug addict which is hard on a kid not to denigrate their bio parents but it is still difficult and adoption makes possibilities accessible. not all chhldren are loved, you are. not all children have food, good food, you do. etc. you had good adoptive parents who were considerate of your being.
You fit in the human race. I get the same thing, I am a human, period!
I listened to your story and felt your feeling and emotions. Being much like my own.
Please try another DNA company from Europe, for family connections. GOD Bless.
What A Great Lady! When you open your ancestry page, your dna matches are there for free. You will find cousins and maybe close family. You are a smart lady. You can do it with help!!
Wow ! I relate to you in a lot of ways but I am not adopted wish I could talk to you
May God grant you peace.
Did Terri ever find anyone from her tree? I love to build trees from Ancestry. I would help her.
She hasn’t yet, that I know of.
@@shelbyredfieldkilgore I am willing to help for free. Some people do sudokus, I look for ancestors. I couldn't promise anything, but if she has dna matches and a few hints, I will take it and run!
@@boysrus61 thank you. I will ask her.
She is very interested. Please reach out to her. I included how to connect with her in the description section.
Colleen, I would be so honored to have your help. Thank you, Please find me on facebook and I will give you my information.
Threw his books into the sewer
The idea that parents who give up their children for adoption don't want them is based on flawed reasoning. It's true there are many factors that play into the decisions resulting in a child being placed for adoption. But the fact that a child is ultimately placed for adoption does not have mean that the birth parent didn't want them. Consider economics, if a child is placed for adoption because the parent can't afford them, that doesn't mean the parent didn't want them. Two things can be true at the same time, the birth parent can dearly want the child but also not have the resources to raise them. The same type of thing, two truths existing simultaneously, is what we're find in many of the situations adopted children come out of. Even some some of the worst situations that result in children being adopted often involve birth parents who wanted that child. Consider, the decision to place a child for adoption may be one of the most altruistic, pragmatic and selflessly caring decisions a birth parent can make for their child.
Not being adopted I can’t relate to that part of your story. Otherwise I can relate with a majority of your life story. Keep strong
It's not your fault. Back then if the mother wasn't married they were forced to give up her baby. Didn't matter what she wanted.
You WILL find ancesters and current relatives with your DNA, but you might not get all the information you want. My DNA was comprimised by a bone marrow transplant so I only have the results drom 23&Me, but you can go to each DNA company to find your relatives. But if you are 100% satisfied with who you are as a child of God, maybe this isn't that important to you. God bless your heart with truth and light!
This country is too hung up on the color of our skin. Racist country. Everything I know about racism I learned in the USA. Racism from both sides. In my parent’s home we just ppl.