"yeah becky we dont want your hair we want another races hair" like how are you so confident proving someone else point? like you loud AND WRONG and you don't see it? then what happens when Indian girls start taunting us for wanting their hair? like this is sooo embarrassing are they not eMbARRAZZED
Commented this elsewhere, but: I hate to be the one to say it but black women don't wear Indian hair because they want to look more Indian....... Like sister be honest, south Asian hair is so popular because it's more available (these women often get paid little to nothing to cut off ALL of their hair that it took years to grow) and it mimics caucasian hair. I'm sorry but if all white people had 3a hair, black women would not care for straight hair- I said what I said.
Saying we want south asian bundles and not beckys hair is STILL perpetuating the idea that STRAIGHT TEXTURED WEAVE is the beauty standard. How can people not see this and not cringe when they drool over south asian bundles. Who’s hair is more similar. White people and theirs or ours? Come onb
@@AfriPrincess411 lol exactly we just gonna be sitting there speechless cause some of us are spending hundreds of dollars on THEIR HAIR. I can’t think of a good comeback for that👩🏿
And it’s still putting another race of woman on a pedestal, maybe your not putting Becky on one , how does that make any difference or anything better. These women be saying anything just to be left alone instead of facing their insecurities. If these hair stop being produced idk what bw would do, they would probably protest! That won’t happen though because they’re making billions of dollars on bw self hate.
I will never walk out of the house with a silk straight or loose textured wig or weave in because I NEVER want a non-black woman to think I want what she has. They seem to claim “it’s protective” but never seem to wear textures that are similar to ACTUAL black hair, and you’re doing the right thing by calling it out. It’s time for the beauty standard to change, and it’s up to us to change it.
I’ll do what I want I wear weave sometimes and I wear my own hair. I switch up all the time. I do t let people dictate what I do. I look great in slot of different styles so I embrace that.
Thank you. So true. Because all can be beautiful. Different from one another yet ALL beautiful. A rose is beautiful, but not more beautiful than a tulip, for example.They are different but each beautiful in their own way. The exact thing can be said about different textures of hair. ALL are beautiful.
I worked at a beauty supply store for a long time and hearing bw complain about how expensive it is to be natural while buying $500 worth of silky bundles is the most annoying thing. I can now say that I absolutely hate weave because of my job.
Yeah it doesn’t make sense. I feel like it’s an excuse, but I also feel like, with the rise of the natural hair community, many brands have profited on the fact that many of us, with all the years of texturizing and relaxing, have forgotten how to properly take care of our natural hair, by making us think that we need 100 products to have healthy natural hair. But yeah, as I said, it’s also a convenient excuse to justify the preference for silky weaves.
@@Anana315 I concur. How can anything be " protective" when its suffocating one's scalp and subjecting one to bacterial and fungal infections if worn continuously. Washing hair every other month, or even once a month does not enforce healthy scalp, though I truly understand how desperate black women are to save an expensive, time- consuming do.
I don't think the issue is with 'fake hair' - it's wearing fake hair that does not match your own hair texture. Other races wear fake hair, it's just that it's not always clockable as it matches their own hair. If you wear AFRO textured hair clip ins, weave or lace etc, I don't see anything wrong with that 🤷🏾♀️
I’ve wondered this When other races want to switch it up they wear hair extensions that look like the hair that grows out of their head. They don’t wear Afro wigs or natural hair wigs
Exactly! IMO I don’t think the problem is extensions it’s texture. Bc all women wear extensions ALOT more than we think. The reason why pple think this doesn’t occur is Bc they get their own texture. They’re probably getting it from the same vendors too. I think if most BW just embraced getting weave, clip ins, wigs that reflected our own, there wouldn’t be this much of a discussion. Let’s face it we all love, volume n length n the benefit from extensions, weave etc is just that. We do need to love what is growing on our own heads more though, Bc if we don’t how can we expect other to? BW we are only, 7% of the population in America soo. The majority of the country has straight or wavy hair, we should ban together n love n master what we’ve been given! Focus on the fact that there is beauty in it, Bc we are beautiful. We are the exception to the norm, n that should be embraced by ourselves rather than shunned.
I did a survey recently about why naturals wear wigs and extensions and most say to look better. I was so disappointed. Our natural hair is beautiful. Ladies please embrace it. Note, I am not saying don't wear extensions and wigs but don't let it be that you wear it to look more beautiful because you are already beautiful❤️.
I wouldn't dare be caught in wig/weave with straight strands unless its my own hair but even then it will still have a blow out look, not Becky or Ling ling's strands.
I wear wigs as protective styles cuz seasonal depression starts and I usually look a mess and do not have the will power to take care of my hair. However I do love it very much 🥰
Black women would rather apply TLC to lace front wigs and weaves then their own natural hair. Black women would rather watch wig/weave instillation tutorial videos instead of educate themselves on how to manage and take care of their own hair. This is why other races disrespect our hair and the texture of it because we degrade and our ashamed of it. Imagine saying I love my natural hair but then wearing fake hair for 364 days of the year. In my opinion the core issue of black women wearing weave and wigs are insecurities, self hatred, and ignorance.
Being obsessed with wigs and bundles is weird. I'm glad I never hopped on the wig/bundles wave. It's not growing out of my head, so I feel like they're pointless.
Girl I’m so sorry you have to deal with that. I don’t know your aunt but as a young adult who went natural as a teen and had to deal with similar comments there’s a high chance it’s cause of her own internalized Eurocentric beauty standards and seeing you embrace your blackness makes her uncomfortable when she thinks of what she had to do to assimilate when she was your age maybe by perming her hair or using a hot comb e.t.c you don’t deserve those comments regardless but sometimes knowing where someone’s weird comments stem from makes it so that it doesn’t get to you and affect you feeling yourself.
@@bambii_thinks3147 thank you so much! It feels nice to be understood. I just wish my aunt would leave me alone about how I decide to wear my hair. She probably does have some issues with her natural hair and Eurocentric beauty standards, and I understand. We are taught very young that our hair isn’t professional, attractive, or manageable. It took me years to accept my own self. I’m just to the point where I don’t like salons and I don’t like buying hair.
@CheekyLovesCheeseCake:) yes 🤦🏾♀️ I should question her next time she says it. I usually just get quite, because I don’t even know what to say to that.
I think weave and wig wearing is a sign of classism. Like these women love wigs cuz it makes them feel important. Notice when you show disdain for wigs they clapback and say “if you broke and can’t afford good hair just say that” “or if you wear synthetic just say that”. I remember wigs in the 18th century is what the elite wore to show they were wealthy. Now fast forward we have Kayla Nicole and others perpetuating that type of arrogance within our own race and in hip hop songs that if you don’t reach a white standard of beauty, you are just poor and don’t have the funds to keep a celebrity appearance where bundles and European beauty makes you high class. Don’t get me wrong-Kinky textured hair is seen as beautiful in some societies but it’s clear it is the last preference which is why black women feel they have one up anyone that can’t afford to keep up an expensive hair regime like magazines and media.
I saw a comment from an east asian saying "I thought Black women had straight hair and they would sometimes style them in curls... I felt stupid when I found out they naturally have this unique texture"... Unique is the key word. How can people appreciate the beauty of something they don't even see that much? and when they see it, it is always either in a very bad state because we are not well maintaining it, or not in its really natural texture?”
Yep, wearing straight hair and carrying Gucci bags are a sign of class. Makes me sick. I do my best to wear black owner brands specifically. If I want a pretty bag I’ll buy a dupe.
@@marysophy3665 Oh my gosh. Such a profound statement both you and the original comment is this post. How can they recognize its beauty indeed? And class....hmm.... Beauty too.
There's something about afro textured hair that hits so different- the volume, the curls/coils, texture, not too mention it's the definition of unique 😍: wouldn't want it any other way
@@jl9480 Start seeing the beauty in your hair - follow/watch people with hair like yours, don't let anyone dictate your perspective on what's beautiful hair, because 4c curls are indeed the most beautiful and unique. 💖 If volume is an issue, clip ins or crochet that blend in with your hair can be used x
@@jl9480 It's honestly your life-if you want to let people dictate your life and seek validation from them, do that. But there's nothing wrong with adding matched texture to your hair, which is the initial statement I made and one I made as a helpful option to you. If you have a problem with me saying that and don't want to use textured clip ins for volume, then it looks like you need to go on a self love journey for your thin hair and stop letting others control your self esteem.
Thoughts about this whole video series, a huge part this definitely is self hate. Not for everyone, but definitely for a lot of people (and many are in denial). Even within the natural hair community the videos that get the most amounts of attention are the people with looser curls. However, I think a large amount of the self hate is not only due to beauty standards that white people have created but due to people not knowing how to do their hair. In the beginning of the movement I think there was more focus on loving Afro hair and “nappy” hair, but now many people go to the natural hair community not necessarily to learn how to appreciate their tight coils, but to get their hair to look and act like something it’s not. So many people fight with their Afro hair and do this that and the third making the process so much more complicated trying to get type 3 looking hair. The idea of “good hair” goes back generations and I think people dont like to believe that this mentality still exists, but it definitely does.
"Now many people go to the natural hair community not necessarily to learn how to appreciate their tight coils, but to get their hair to look and act like something it’s not" A WORD!! This is so true
Well said. I have been natural for 30 years and me and my sister always say “You never know what you are going to get (being natural) you just have to go with the flow.” 😆 Also, just have plenty of headbands and Bobby pins!
"I think there was more focus on loving Afro hair and “nappy” hair, but now many people go to the natural hair community not necessarily to learn how to appreciate their tight coils, but to get their hair to look and act like something it’s not. " THAT PARTTTTTTTT !!!!
Also, we are more than our hair. The level of respect that a person gets should not be based on their hair or appearance. It should be based on integrity and attitude.✨
I mean to be fair, everything has some dark territories under it like simply buying a pair of jeans. Not saying it’s ok tho, exploitation definitely is a problem and needs to be stopped
Listen, I don’t have any issue with black women wearing wigs and sew ins with different types of textures, but the embarrassment that I got when I seen those comments under that tik tok was the same embarrassment that I get when black women are under white men’s comment sections asking “do you like black girls 🥺?” I’m not gonna sit here and bash anyone for wearing them, I use to like a bundle here and there of straight hair, but we as a community need to have a serious conversation about texurism and hair length. What you do as a black woman with your hair is your business, it doesn’t represent me, but when y’all go and uplift another race’s hair texture over our own, then it becomes a serious issue. I say this with love and I choose not to insult because you can’t make someone love their natural hair or natural self, that is a journey you have to take on your own. So I choose not to pass judgement.
THANK YOU!!! Black people have a problem with hair and we need to talk about it but I’m not gonna force someone to love their natural hair cause it might they might have hair trauma
@@iidentifyasjeffbezos I don’t agree. Men would still prefer other women over black women even if most wore their natural hair simply because of texurism and colorism. That is very self evident. It’s not going to change because we live in a society where black women’s features and hair have been deemed undesirable. More black women have been wearing their natural hair and people still have negative stuff to say about it. Do I believe black women should just conform to beauty standards to fit society’s definition of beautify? No. But when you’ve been told your features are undesirable by society it’s hard to break that chain of feeling undesirable. I’m not telling you to sympathize with them or feel bad…
Same but when I ever get a wig/weave it's not bout to be a straight one, it feels weird wearing a hair texture that is so different from mine. I love afro's in different colors but I'm too scared to die my hair lol. I really love white afro's cause they look like clouds and look so beautiful to our brown skin! Nowadays if I want straight hair I will do a blowout and I wouldn't care if there's a lil texture in there. And if I'm gonna straighten my hair it will only be to see my length (which is barely cause I don't care to much about length).
Funny thing is black hair doesn’t need a lot of products to thrive. That’s a white washed marketing mentality that harms our community. I rarely use products on my own hair and it’s still soft and healthy. And yes I have 4C hair. Oversaturation of products weakens your hair.
@@dejstoney ik. Obviously i don't over do it lol. The products i buy are inexpensive but work well on my hair. Its hip bone length and hella thick too so i definitely know what i'm doin😂. The point i was trying to make is that i wld never put someone else's hair on mine or pay an arm and a leg for it. Ppl can do what they want though. Just don't say " we buying this" like we are all paying for other ppl's hair. Makes everyone look bad and that's not cool
For years when I wore extensions/braids. People thought it was my hair (weird). I purposely bought hair that matched my own texture and color. I didn’t get extra long lengths. I literally wore braidsfor convenience. Later I discovered shaving my hair and I discovered that I LOVED my hair short. And it was sooooooo much easier. Out hair is very beautiful. I don’t want anyone else’s hair. My biggest pet peeve is when folks cry and complain when someone else decides to cut their own hair. Coveting someone else’s hair makes you bald headed.
Yess the Stockholm syndrome needs to stop. Skin color is a issue, hair is a issue. Other than body shape, Black standards are clearly geared toward whiteness and we need to be free!! Love your videos I’ve binged this series multiple times! 🥺💕
No one's making you wear weaves or wigs, that's your insecurity...lol...all companies/organizations care about is everyone looking professional at work but if you want to look like you just git out of jail go work for a blackbowened company
If you follow their logic, then other races can wear Afro wigs 🙆🏽♀️. We know they’ll probably get mad if this happens. You can wear Indian bundles but get mad when another race wears an Afro wig 🤭.
Literally!! If they see an Asian woman with straight hair wearing an afro it’s cultural appropriation, but when it’s the other way around it’s fine. I understand that there are historical factors to consider but if we all just show society that natural hair can be professional and beautiful then I’m sure we can overcome the biases.
Yeah we already talk about how others are envious of our beauty when blackfishing happens so why wouldn’t we think it happens in the reverse and happens much more often
That's why I believe black women need to be careful with the cultural appropriation accusations. Because even if hair texture isn't cultural. It has become cultural for black women to walk around with another races hair on their head. These wigs and weave are made in places like Korea and women in India cut it off. So to then say an Asian can't wear braids and such walks a fine line. So many people believe black women hate our hair.
@@a.d.w8385 but braids is different, hair itself can be braided (it's culture and tradition), what can be compared is if non black women wear afro wigs
100% agree with you. When you try calling it out too ppl will respond that "you're just jealous you can't afford my hair" ....you know the typical goofy response. Well when that community decides to start blaming us for the continued support of hair trafficking and exploitation in their communities I don't want to hear pim. 🤐 No one is saying ppl can't wear weaves but there are weaves that are in our own textures. Those look better on us. And being truthful some of you look ridiculous always wearing something that ppl can CLEARLY see you didn't grow yourself. Point of weaves is for it to blend into your hair and be believable.
Exactly. It's funny how people try to insult you with a comment on what THEY value. SMH. What if someone didn't value spending that $600 on something that depreciates in value?
I think it’s crazy how showing love and pride in your natural Afro hair texture is considered being a “pick me” Our community is SO backwards it’s disturbing. No other group of people is as obsessed with hair that isn’t theirs they way we are it’s very WEIRD and many of us are in DENIAL and refuse to have a legitimate conversation. Notice how they never come with valid arguments and good points it’s always an EXCUSE. There are wigs and sew ins in Afro textures but they don’t sell b/c black women DON’T WANT it. They’ll say natural hair is too expensive but it doesn’t have to be. I literally spend at most $20 a month on my hair b/c I’m taking a break from extensions. Even with extensions I’m still not spending as much as these women who are paying $200+ for a wig and then paying separately for installation. Then they say it’s too much work and takes too long. You spend hours in a chair getting your hair done but won’t spend the same time doing your own hair? You don’t have to do natural hair every day ( I DON’T). I think there’s a thin line between switching it up and hiding your hair. Some of y’all won’t even let your hair breathe because once you take out one style you put another in a day or two later. It’s OBVIOUS we want long hair (which is not a bad thing, long hair doesn’t belong to any one group of people) but we are not willing to put in the work for the length? Look you’re allowed to do whatever you want with YOUR hair but I have to admit that we’re becoming very hypocritical when we get mad at non black peoples for wearing Afros 🤷🏾♀️ how can you we be mad at them for copying our beautiful features when we ourselves are hiding it? It’s obvious they see beauty in something we don’t which is extremely sad. I LOVE my hair it’s not easy but the good ones never are. Afro hair is so unique and different it’s obvious God created it to stand out so why would I want to blend in with everyone else? I hope we all learn to LOVE every coil and curl because God didn’t make a mistake when he formed them. You were not made to blend in ladies and gentlemen.
Please, them reducing her to her hair made me feel so uneasy 🤢 As if she wasn't a person and her hair was the only thing that mattered. Black women are so embarassing sometimes and this is why people stay saying we hate our hair and that we're bald 🙄
Do y’all think nicki Minaj is the true definition of self hate? She took the Barbie image too far IMO. She’s cute but she gives black women the wrong idea who are impressionable that thick long silky hair is our only true identity if we wanna win in life like her. She is obsessed with wigs and started a whole generation fixated on that through Instagram culture. Ppl wanna blame the kardashians but we never look at our own race too. Nicki is a horrible representation for black women. I get that it’s her job to look a certain way but it’s just irritating “fake” is her whole lifestyle and coaching women to be the same that have self esteem issues.
@@dejstoney Nicki's hair isn't even type 4 , she's a type 3. When I was younger I thought she just liked experimenting you know because she wore all different type of wigs these days she just wears bone straight hair and black girls love Nicki so they'll obviously take from her and Cardi b.
You are an inspiration don’t ever stop what you’re going for the natural hair community. We need more strong women assuming their own hair texture on TH-cam!
For me when I was in HS, I noticed a huge difference in how people treat you based on changing hair. I luckily got on internet forums before youtube celebrating natural hair and was relieved of the peer pressure to have good hair. I thought the people who liked me for my natural look were more authentic and I could be myself around them.
*My issue is that type 4 does not get this clout unless it’s stretched. I love my hair even when she doesn’t listen to me, I wouldn’t trade it for anything. Unfortunately, the majority of TT users are young, little girls with 4c hair who are reading the comments.*
I believe our obsession with straighter texture hair has to do with the overall glorification and beauty standards are European. Straighter hair is more socially acceptable as well and easy to maintain. Afro hair texture is not celebrated or seen as any beauty standards by the main stream. It goes way beyond just changing your hair occasionally. Do you ever wonder why no other race uses Afro hair texture extensions/wigs? However this is not true in reverse. #sad
That “easy to maintain” is bull crap and an excuse. Natural Straight hair is oily and lice-ridden. If limp lifeless hair like a dog’s hair is easy to maintain I wonder if that’s a good thing 🤔When I have to constantly tease limp hair, it’s giving crackhead like I don’t shower vibes 😂😂😂 But YT and Asian are proud of this. Yea, I’m being petty just like they are with our hair that literally doesn’t have these problems besides ocassional matting. If anything tight coiled hair would be easy to maintain since it doesn’t shed and get all over the place unless you comb it.
Girl I am so happy you made this video! Let's talk about this pls.😭 People are out here embrassing themselves and our community 🙆🏾♀️These people have noooooo self respect. Cheeze...
I have 2 questions: 1. How does it having anything to do with lacking self respect? 2. How is it embarrassing to the individual and their community? Respectfully, I would like to here your views because personally I think your response was quite harsh...
Black women will stop being the butt of everyone’s jokes, and will start to be respected when they stop thirsting after another woman’s beauty. There’s nothing wrong with complimenting another woman, but you don’t see non BW praising other women at the expense of their image. The self depreciating comments are 🥴
I just gasped when you said English isn't your first language WHAT 😲 I've been watching your videos for so long and I would have never known I must have missed that info
25:09 I actually like that she didn’t liked those negative comments that were the most like because she knew those people were projecting self hate and she even said to keep it positive in the comments instead of comparing yourself to her lol #womanpower 💥
This was a really interesting perspective. I hadn’t thought about objectification before you mentioned it. It makes sense though. Yes, she was showing off her hair but those comments were kinda predatory. The people sounded thirsty and kinda desperate. I think you summed it up when you said “massa massa we’re not jealous of you we’re jealous of your neighbor”. Let’s not even get into the fact that we face racism also from Asian groups yet here we are elevating them above ourselves in the comments. Nothing wrong with complimenting someone’s hair but that’s not what was happening. I saw in another video where they posted Lily Singh joking about Tiffany Haddish feeling like family because she wears her cousin’s hair. Just showing that everyone notices these things about us no matter how much we try and make excuses for it.
@@BluDrop5 her whole shtick is being a bisexuality WOMAN OF COLOR, so that’s a very weird thing for her to say 🤨. shouldn’t she be uplifting other WOC? hmm 🤔
Some comments on the Tik tok made my skin crawl. To me there is ways of complimenting without putting yourself down. I think some people could read the comment, and get the wrong idea that we don't think much of our hair. I don't think I am saying anything new but there has been a lot of pressure on Black Women to conform to a certain type of stereotyped image of what is considered to be "tidy".Some of us might have internalized that self-hatred due to what media we consume, and what we see being "worshipped" by society. Even inside our own community, some men and women alike tend to put looser textures on a pedestal. To me, it will probably require us a lot of time and effort to disconnect from those prejudices and learn to value what we have and not contrast it negatively with what others got. We just need to make an effort in our community to celebrate each other, and stop putting anyone above us just because we have been taught that.
It’s an inferiority complex, we have been taught that we are not good enough, anything black is less than. This is coming from someone who grew up in a country that was under oppression till 25 years ago. We are still struggling with embracing our authentic selves because the apartheid era taught us we were not good enough. It will take another 100 years to change the thinking, that is why it is so beautiful watching the natural hair movement grow.
Tysm for touching on this! I also wanted to address that the fetishism around "mixed," or biracial children on Instagram is sickening. There are literally accounts that revolve around biracial children and the comments are horrifying from the parents; particularly black men and women. The comments ooze texturism, colorism, and this obsession with their children having eurocentric attributes. Its outta pocket atp and completely inappropriate. 🙄🤦🏾♀️
There are studies showing Instagram is one of the most damaging types of social media for young people. Not surprised. These platforms reinforce negative ideas on hair and body image.
I agree but do you think it’s still fetishism for blk ppl who date or marry out who will obviously be able to only make biracial children with their non blk partner , praise biracial children?
@@PrincessYonna1 correct me if I’m wrong but I feel like more of the black male diaspora do this . I feel they have a lot of self hate or worry because of what they go through all over the world (racism/prejudice) that they will gun for biracial children so their kids won’t go through it. I could be wrong. I do feel some do have other race partners for love tho and because their perception is their own diaspora do not prefer them. I heard this a few times before from males…
27:05 Gold! - "We can't keep begging people for representation when we don't represent ourselves" - That sums it up perfectly. I say this all the time. From head to toe, represent yourself if you want to see yourself in more spaces. The less you represent yourself and the more you try to look like others and the more you consume representation unlike your own, the more space it leaves for other representatives to come in and assume/take up space/stake claim (squeeze you out) in the realms of your representation, which is what we see happening often, especially in entertainment media. Simply put. Be you, so you can see you. Nobody but us share our phenotype (nobody can truly pull off looking like us, especially our hair, and if they do it is usually out of disrespect), so I don't understand why we try to look like everyone else so often.
It’s like 4 type wigs and weaves aren’t a option for us, those comments where so embarrassing 😳 like we spend hours installing and customizing a lace front wig but learning our hair type is "to hard to manage" 🤦🏾♀️
just a few weeks ago I had a conversation with this woman at work who has an obsession with "pretty hair". when I asked her if she thought she didn't have pretty hair too, she said "no girl I got nappy hair". the complete ignorance of what she was saying is so appalling. this shit is so deeply rooted most people don't realize what is going on.
Wait! You’re Haitian and English isn’t your first language!? I’ve watched a lot of your videos and would’ve never thought! Your English sounds so natural 😱
@@Hello-iz9hl In one of the comments below, she said that she mainly speaks creole. I know there are many different creole’s out there but Haitian Creole is the most popular one so I’m pretty sure she’s Haitian
You can speak a language fluently without having a distinctive accent, especially if you're born in the country where your 2nd/3rd language is spoken. Your first language is usually the language that's spoken in your household. Someone born in the USA can have French as their first language if that's the language that's spoken in their household while still learning English at the same time. Many children of immigrants have the language of their country of origin as their first language. I'm fluent in Dutch because I grew up in the Netherlands. Many people think I was born in the Netherlands due to my accent, but I learned it when I was 10 (after moving to the Netherlands) and it's my 3rd language.
I actually think it's a problem. I wear box braids or faux locs at times because I live in Jamaica and sometimes the sun does more harm than good. Plus my hair texture tends to get curly with humidity so that keeps my hair protected and the styles longer. A lot of females don't feel beautiful without the wigs and weaves and that's a problem I think
This is true. I actually had a friend who did not feel beautiful without her wigs and was ashamed to show her natural hair. I also wear box braids and faux locs.
It’s not even just straight hair. For some reason we seem to prefer looser curl textures. I’ve seen so many tiktoks about how “your hair isn’t actually 4c, it’s dry” or stuff like “you don’t take care of your hair” and other related comments. Like my hair is never gonna be that loose no matter how much gel I use. Some of our hair doesn’t naturally do that! But seeing people talk bad about your hair because you don’t define it everyday is super discouraging.
100% I don't think defining your curls is self hate because some people acc have curls but we need to accept the fact that most black people have coily hair
@@Dee-ux4vq I agree, I don’t think there’s anything wrong with that, I just dislike the fact that when you don’t, people say “you don’t take care of your hair”. But yes, you’re completely correct
Yeah I’ve gotten tired of defining my coils. Most of the times I’ll just stretch it with heat or twist it to give it volume. Even then I just need to accept it’s shrunken and wants to be left alone.
I’m so grateful I have locs! I use to wear weave/wigs as protective styles to help my hair grow. However comma I had to educate myself on taking care of my Hair, and find my own true beauty being comfortable wearing my natural hair.
I’m a wig wearer. Only because I thought it was more manageable. I found your channel recently. And I’m going to grow my own hair. My daughters have also grown out their relaxers and they have beautiful long healthy hair. I’d rather have hair like yours than that hair you showed in the picture. I love my 4c hair now. Thanks to you. X
It’s so sad that there’s so much self hate in the black/ natural hair community. The “good hair” narrative goes back generations and is still VERY prevalent today. I just wish we would learn to accept ourselves the way that we are. Btw, I love your channel and hope you’re doing well.🤎
Aww...I hope that one day you are able to fully appreciate your hair. Definitely take steps to care and style for it in a way that makes your comfortable and confident. Our hair is unique and beautiful 😊💞
I have 4a natural hair and I noticed that people only compliment me when I either slick my hair down with gel or I flat iron my hair and it’s long and straight. I noticed that BOTH white and black people ogle over my hair every time I flat iron my hair. ( I only flat iron once a year.) It’s sad that so many black people have such an obsession with long straight hair. Also the only weave I wear is box braids and faux locs as a protective style because the sun is harsh where I live.
So true! I am still dealing with self-esteem issues surrounding my 4c hair. So I wear textured wigs ranging from 3c - 4b. It wasn't until this year that I started taking care of my hair again. I'm hoping by the end of the year I'll let the wigs go and be comfortable without it at all.
How did the world become like this? People with skin that can block the damaging rays of the sun are the ones feeling like their skin is ugly. People with hair that goes against physics (everything under gravity must go down) are the ones trying to hide their hair. The day black people all over the world realise this, is the day our collective egos will get so huge. And I think that's why putting our features down first started, we are already proud even in the face of being put down, imagine the confidence when we realise what our skin does and how our hair acts? Nowadays tho, they don't need to put down our features anymore, we're doing it ourselves.
Also that girls hair is really pretty and long, it's a testament to how much she takes care of her hair. I decided to grow my links and coils last month after realising I have 2 inches of hair because the shrinkage had me thinking it was still really short. I'm learning new things, im trying to enjoy the short length but I also hope for giant fluffy fro. Your hair is as beautiful to me as the TikTok girl's, and technically because yours is more like mine, it's more beautiful to me ☺️
this was such a great comment! so true. people seem to forget, what our hair texture CAN do that other textures CAN'T do. many people are starting to admiring or maybe have always admired our hair.!
This part! The biggest effects of colonization were mental. That's what they wanted. Now we have things in the reverse. When we have our beautiful features no other races have, it's actually a strength.
I remember there was a part of "Good Hair" (the hair documentary) where a little Indian girl said if she saw a black girl she would run from her because she thought they would take her hair. The obsession is definitely creepy and gives major self-hate. Ofc we know that our hair has been degraded for centuries bc of you know what, but YOU KNOW WHAT? You can also wear weaves of black hair OR learn how to do your own hair. They make rap songs about their bundles, they spend thousands on hair, they spend hours watching wig tutorials but are the same ones saying their hair doesn't grow or natural hair is expensive. Isn't getting your braided down and wig'd up expensive? We are a literal laughing stock when we wear weave talking about how much we love our hair/ our selves 😂Nicki came through with the "good lacefronts" now everyone trying to look like some type of "doll". These types of women are way too loud with their hair hate on social media....it makes non-BW feel good about themselves. See the number one response to cultural appropriation: well, they wear our hair isn't that CA as well? Ya'll we gotta do better and not look crazy out here. Now people will always question every black girl's hair to humble us. "Is that a weave??" "is that your real hair?" if we love bundles so much why do we get upset when the other race points it out?
I got bullied for being natural by everyone especially bm and bw but I learned to embrace my hair i never wear weave or wigs I never straighten my hair and I try to uplift other black women our hair is very versatile and less likely to have lice
Girl, yes! Sorry for your experience... Honestly those are typical blackistan mindsets. If it's possible, please avoid those kind of self hating, ignorant black people. I'm also pro black women natural beauty- our hair is beautiful and there's so much that can be done with it. Glad to see there's some girls who are seeing the light. ❤️✨
Honestly the whole POV that they were just complimenting her in a jokingly way seemed like bs to me. All jokes come from a place of truth which is what makes them funny in the first place. All all the comments objectifying this woman hair screams self-hate. It’s not giving I love my hair it’s giving I wish I had Havana’s hair. Also a lot of this mentality started in slavery of course but it’s being continued in black households. Your mom is doing your hair telling you it’s nappy or you’re being told that you have good hair if it’s curly. It’s saddening that this self-hate mentality starts with the family. I personally don’t wear weave because it’s too much work to make it look natural when I don’t have to try as hard with my hair. I have 2 little girls who have kinky, curly hair and I want them to grow up knowing that they are beautiful how they are and YT is not the beauty standard.
Why don't we ever talk about sew-in weaves tearing out black women's edges? I see so many black women who are missing the first four inches of their hairlines.
I agree with you. That comment directed to yt people saying “ that’s the hair we’re buying” was such a weird flex. Yes, we are oppressed but this is not the way to fight it. This was very embarrassing.
We are not oppressed. Victim mentality is destroying black America and black ppl just make excuses, blame the white man for everything and still beg white people to save you. White man ain't telling black women to wear straight weaves and shame natural hair, y'all do that just fine by yourselves
It's the over glamorizing women that don't look like you. That's my main issue. You are hyping someone that's the complete opposite of your image. Do they do that to your image? Rarely. A lot of it is self hate but we want to be in denial. Rather call it what it is. If you wear weaves/wigs 90% of the time it's medical or low self esteem of the TRUE you.
I also wonder why they're SO against seeing others in afros. I understand it partially because I know that they'll say that they're not accepted with their own hair, so other people doing it is frustrating for them. But the other part of me wonders why they don't see the benefit of it looking like their hair is enviable. The same message that's sent whenever other races see black women with their hair on would be the same message projected if other races were allowed to wear afros without any backlash. But idk I guess, like they say 'imitation is the highest form of flattery'.
I can understand your point, but to me, what you have understood partially, is pretty much the entire thing. Nobody says that Afro hair can’t be enviable. And I think we can comprehend it like this. But it is not easy to be comfortable with other people wearing Afro this easily in a society where I can still be pointed out for the same hair. And when this person could just stop to follow the trend when it end or stop when she doesn’t want it anymore, and go back to her more socially acceptable type of hair, we STILL have our Afro hair. And honestly, until I, the person with Afro hair, can’t let my hair go like they are, without worry, in any situation, I would feel a little bitter to see people wear it just because it’s beautiful without understanding my situation. (I live in France and I can tell you that if I go on a job interview with an Afro for example, I could receive comments or eyeing).However it’s just how i feel, I don’t speak for others, anyone can do what they want or feel how they want.
@@perrine4207 I understand where your point of view. I understand people's bitterness about that and I think they have a right. I guess the solution would be to wear our natural hair more but that still doesn't solve the job interview issue you mentioned though. But yeah, I see how it's not fair but I wonder if others imitating us would normalize it (eventhough it's not ideal because we shouldn't have to get white people to do it for it to be seen as normal). But there is still a benefit on the other side of this conundrum that leads to our phenotype being seen as enviable.
@@louiseama00 the thing is this has already kind of been done with “tan/darker” skin. It turns into a “we normalized having dark skin for us (yt people) but not for you”. How many of these folks give themselves skin cancer to have darker skin but natural dark skin has yet to be seen as fully acceptable. Even if they wear our hair the fact that we are born like this will not be seen as acceptable. Imo
I wish Michelle Obama became an example of this during her 8 years in the White House but no as soon as she left all the sudden she got pictured with her natural texture. Natural hair can still be styled to fit “professional” looks too. It does require more work though the tighter your texture is. Protecting styles aren’t protective if your hair constantly breaks. I think nowadays we just make too many excuses.
I love hearing about this. I hope society changes soon. I remember when I used to wear weaves and wigs believing my hair wasn't able to grow. I almost lost my hair due to all the extensions. Now that I've stopped my hairs grown so much and flourishing. If I need to protective style I only wear headwraps and would never let a wig, weave or braids go in my hair again
Since going natural i tried wearing weave once and it just felt and looked weird imo now the only extensions i use are braids ,for most part i wear my own hair.
I’m not surprised that there are bw under here triggered. Y’all gotta stop. She is telling the truth y’all don’t be wanting to hear. I’ve never been obsessed with any hair that wasn’t Black 💅🏽 I guess we’re the rarity 🤷🏽♀️
I hope this becomes a very strong talking point in the next decade. Hopefully, it will force black women to take a deep look into themselves and ask why do I go for textures that aren't my own.
Very distasteful how black women and girls were drooling 🤤over her hair🙄. Then we wonder why acceptance of our hair is such an issue. Most of us don't even accept our own😔
Ok i know this is harsh. But i honestly want something to happen where the weave and wigs are no longer available to force black women to wear their hair and be forced to love it😂. Messed up i know especially because alot of women need weaves and wigs bc of balding problems (yeah my solution is flawed) . But imagine most black women in the world finally accepting themselves and not simping over straight hair? You'll see big afros everywhere it would be so awesome.
They are glad they don’t have that option because they are addicted to the pretty privilege of long straight hair like a drug. Blame nicki minaj, Cardi b, city girls and all these celebs that have no backbone to embrace their true selves for marketing purposes.
@Diamond Yes, Diamond. But these women are not using wigs as a last resort like a cancer patient would that doesn’t have the option to grow their hair. They are using it non stop like it’s their own DNA. Oh and yes do they look beautiful. Good quality silky hair can look amazing! But goodness keep the same energy for your own roots. Kinky hair is unique and deserves representation too.
@Diamond and I’m sorry I’m not disagreeing with you. I don’t like ppl policing black woman’s hair either but come on. When straight hair becomes what’s desirable in the black community, it speaks volumes.
I’ve been wearing weave since I was little! Lol my mama told me she didn’t know how to deal with it or take care of it but she would care to my sisters (their hair texture is looser) she cut it off and I wore crochet and got perms. In middle school I wore my first sew in with straight hair then I started doing my own hair and wore sew ins ALL THE TIME never letting my hair breathe I thought I was ugly with my real hair and in my mind I’m like if my mama didn’t like it why should I? I finally started to wear my hair in college cut it all off and started over and I’m loving it more and more! I definitely think parenting has something to do with it too or maybe that was just in my home 😂😬
This conversation 10 + years ago woulda been WAAAAY more Hateful… blk women today are waaaaaay more evolved, waaay more ‘woke’ waaaay more SELF LOVING, & more AMAZING all around! We gotta congratulate ourselves for these accomplishments!🥰🙏🏽❤️
I have 3b-3c hair I had a woman, to my FACE say " You got that good hair. Do you know how many women buy hair to look like yours ?" Another woman asked what products do I use so her hair would curl like mine 🤦🏾♀️
What is clear by the comments that there is a lot of psychiatrists are falling short on their patient load. Not joking. It is also sad and thought provoking as to how ingrained, for some, self loathing is. People, particularly women, need to understand the social correlations on beauty be it on phenotype or texturism comes from perception of social dominance that then becomes the social norm. Great topic. Comparison truly can be the thief of joy.
Objectification is only an issue when black people are being objectified.... I am so hurt when people assume my hair is a wig. And it happens all the time! Takes me 3hr to get my hair popping when going out and then every single person asks me if it's a wig... Somehow I should be flattered cause it looks as good as a wig. I absolutely can not...
I’m sorry if this comment objectifies you but I love your hair. It is similar to mine but my hair is not as long. I recently started watching your videos hoping that I might get tips on how to further treat my hair and keep it healthy, right now there is a lot of breakage. I believe that if I moisturize the way you state in your videos I will have healthy hair. I must admit that it took me over 50 years to appreciate the hair that God gave me. I used to straighten it with hot combs and use hair relaxers because I thought that was the best way to “manage” my hair. Now that I’m on the natural hair train, I’m going to try to stay on it thanks to people like you who are willing to share their success with managing their natural hair.
That’s why I’ve always worn my natural hair. To me, it looks desperate for us to want hair like theirs and it undermines us, our culture, me myself and I.
I'm so happy that alot of black women in my country are starting to love being natural but I fear it's because of what's popular right now, I hope it's more then just a trend.
I just don't understand all this weaving & wigging. God created you & gave you your hair texture, embrace it! Proper washing & conditioning will allow your own hair to grow! I have loose wavy hair & I've grown it out to the middle of my back. When I pull a strand of my hair it doesn't brake. Finding the right product for your hair type will allow it to grow! Doing less is more for growth!
Girrrrl, you are spitting so much truth!! I started my own weave-free journey in 2016. It's so hard to reprogram ourselves when we've grown up and Iived in a Eurocentric world..the first step to change is knowledge though, so thank you for being a DISTINCT VOICE in the culture of conformity xx
I ask the same question! Why do black women wear fake hair? I don’t understand! God knew what he was doing when he made our hair for he said I am fearfully and wonderfully made marvelous are thy works….psalm 139:14. Love how God made you.
To be fair, it’s not only black women who covet long, straight “horse like” hair. The beauty industry is HUGE because every woman out here black white brown yellow and red are going for the same standard. I remember the white girls in highschool waking up an hour early to straighten their hair every. Single. Morning. And the frying it to be blonde, the complaints that it won’t grow or it’s too frizzy or too thin or too limp. No woman is happy with their hair, not just us 4c girls. That’s why I hate when other races of women talk about our weave because if they had 4C hair they’d be wearing straight weave down to their ankles 🙄 I’ve seen women cry over losing an inch of hair.
I don't like the "white women do it, too" arguments like yours, because they tend to be weak. At least you acknowledge that many white people don't have naturally stick straight hair.
I like my own hair, always have. I was just bored of seeing wigs on everybody hair like *eew most of them look basic now with those wigs, lashes, and nails.* MY hair looks amazing
This is pretty embarrassing. It’s like all these ladies lost all their pride to put a non-black woman on a pedestal. And you wonder why weirdos like Tila Tequila can get online and disrespect us all?
I said this on another video BW don’t dislike their natural hair texture. They dislike the shrinkage. I think you should address that. People still find long 4C hair like yours desirable over short 4C TWAs.
Shrinkage means your hair is healthy. It is the process of the hair going back to its natural state which is an afro for many. I think many BW just don't have the chance to come to terms with that, rather stick to what they're used to (wigs, braids) (nothing wrong with that either ofc) and it's just as what you said in another comment about Classism which i absolutely agree with.. But it's another reason why these hair companies bank off statements like "defines your curls" "get definition" etc and why the Natural Hair Movement got sabotaged from what I noticed.
Texturism aside most cultures like long hair over short hair. I never understand when someone says 4c hair is only appreciated when it's long. Someone walking by me with 6 inches is straight hair doesn't make me bat an eyelid either. Is probably care of it was 26", same with the type 4 hair.
Directly off your point, "shrinkage" IS our hair texture though. That's like white people calling their hair hair "stretched". Without the coils our hair would be a different textures and or straight.
Agreed bcz my hair is 24 inches and when it shrinks it looks like a twa and honestly it's frustrating. Even after stretching with high heat, my hair reverts in a second 🙃
No Indian women know it and love it. They don't feel objectified. Those black women just fed her ego. Trust me. I'm so glad I don't need to use their hair. She doesn't feel dehumanized. Are you crazy?
Did you get picked yet?
How is she being a pick me😐
They haven’t chosen me yet ☹️
This phrase is soooo over used/misused.
Just because someone's opinion differs from yours, doesn't make them a "pick me" .....
You sound like a damn fool😂
Stay mad Alia 🤡
"yeah becky we dont want your hair we want another races hair" like how are you so confident proving someone else point? like you loud AND WRONG and you don't see it? then what happens when Indian girls start taunting us for wanting their hair? like this is sooo embarrassing are they not eMbARRAZZED
Giiirrrrlll, right!!
This is EMBARAZZING 🤦🏿♀️
Commented this elsewhere, but: I hate to be the one to say it but black women don't wear Indian hair because they want to look more Indian....... Like sister be honest, south Asian hair is so popular because it's more available (these women often get paid little to nothing to cut off ALL of their hair that it took years to grow) and it mimics caucasian hair. I'm sorry but if all white people had 3a hair, black women would not care for straight hair- I said what I said.
@@beewritesback wait. You saying black women would not still be obsessed with that type of hair?
@@maiamiimaiam4343 What type of hair? If you mean straight hair, then yes, that's what I think
Saying we want south asian bundles and not beckys hair is STILL perpetuating the idea that STRAIGHT TEXTURED WEAVE is the beauty standard. How can people not see this and not cringe when they drool over south asian bundles. Who’s hair is more similar. White people and theirs or ours? Come onb
Exactly and when South Asian women come for BW talking about our hair, how would BW respond?
@@AfriPrincess411 thank you.
@@AfriPrincess411 lol exactly we just gonna be sitting there speechless cause some of us are spending hundreds of dollars on THEIR HAIR. I can’t think of a good comeback for that👩🏿
@@seeia1673 they will probably say something like "damn, we make your hair look even better! We the blueprint" something stupid like that.
And it’s still putting another race of woman on a pedestal, maybe your not putting Becky on one , how does that make any difference or anything better. These women be saying anything just to be left alone instead of facing their insecurities. If these hair stop being produced idk what bw would do, they would probably protest! That won’t happen though because they’re making billions of dollars on bw self hate.
I will never walk out of the house with a silk straight or loose textured wig or weave in because I NEVER want a non-black woman to think I want what she has. They seem to claim “it’s protective” but never seem to wear textures that are similar to ACTUAL black hair, and you’re doing the right thing by calling it out. It’s time for the beauty standard to change, and it’s up to us to change it.
Same here girl! I’ve been wearing ponytail pieces and just bought a headband wig. I refuse to wear anything that looks opposite of my own hair
@Bree Yah this!!
Girl, saame
I’ll do what I want I wear weave sometimes and I wear my own hair. I switch up all the time. I do t let people dictate what I do. I look great in slot of different styles so I embrace that.
Same here
You can compliment someone's physical features without throwing your own self and others that look like you under the bus
Indeed
Thank you. So true. Because all can be beautiful. Different from one another yet ALL beautiful. A rose is beautiful, but not more beautiful than a tulip, for example.They are different but each beautiful in their own way. The exact thing can be said about different textures of hair. ALL are beautiful.
say it louder for the people in the back!!
exactly
This isn't something that people practice. It's not just with hair. Self-deprecation is easy humour. I've tried my best to stop.
I worked at a beauty supply store for a long time and hearing bw complain about how expensive it is to be natural while buying $500 worth of silky bundles is the most annoying thing. I can now say that I absolutely hate weave because of my job.
Lmaoooo same here. Working at a wig store made me hate straight texture hair. I only feel comfortable wearing kinky straight or kinky curly now
Yeah it doesn’t make sense. I feel like it’s an excuse, but I also feel like, with the rise of the natural hair community, many brands have profited on the fact that many of us, with all the years of texturizing and relaxing, have forgotten how to properly take care of our natural hair, by making us think that we need 100 products to have healthy natural hair.
But yeah, as I said, it’s also a convenient excuse to justify the preference for silky weaves.
That's crazy
They’ll say natural hair products are ‘just as expensive’
@@Anana315 I concur. How can anything be " protective" when its suffocating one's scalp and subjecting one to bacterial and fungal infections if worn continuously. Washing hair every other month, or even once a month does not enforce healthy scalp, though I truly understand how desperate black women are to save an expensive, time- consuming do.
"Massa we not jealous of you, we jealous of yo neighbor.." Damn.
🤧🤧🤧😂😂😂 As in its so embarrassing….
I’m sorry but I’m holleringggg 😭😭😭😭
People really say these things with a straight face like are you not ashamed?
That statement was actually quite deep.
oh lord not the neighbor 😭
I don't think the issue is with 'fake hair' - it's wearing fake hair that does not match your own hair texture. Other races wear fake hair, it's just that it's not always clockable as it matches their own hair. If you wear AFRO textured hair clip ins, weave or lace etc, I don't see anything wrong with that 🤷🏾♀️
True but that straight strands wig/weaves irritate my entire spirit
@@TheMspoodle2 I get you- yaki texture straight is also an option too imo and looks better than the other textures of straight extensions
I’ve wondered this
When other races want to switch it up they wear hair extensions that look like the hair that grows out of their head.
They don’t wear Afro wigs or natural hair wigs
I like this point of view ! We should definitely promote wearing our texture kind of hair :)
Exactly! IMO I don’t think the problem is extensions it’s texture. Bc all women wear extensions ALOT more than we think. The reason why pple think this doesn’t occur is Bc they get their own texture. They’re probably getting it from the same vendors too. I think if most BW just embraced getting weave, clip ins, wigs that reflected our own, there wouldn’t be this much of a discussion. Let’s face it we all love, volume n length n the benefit from extensions, weave etc is just that. We do need to love what is growing on our own heads more though, Bc if we don’t how can we expect other to? BW we are only, 7% of the population in America soo. The majority of the country has straight or wavy hair, we should ban together n love n master what we’ve been given! Focus on the fact that there is beauty in it, Bc we are beautiful. We are the exception to the norm, n that should be embraced by ourselves rather than shunned.
I did a survey recently about why naturals wear wigs and extensions and most say to look better. I was so disappointed. Our natural hair is beautiful. Ladies please embrace it. Note, I am not saying don't wear extensions and wigs but don't let it be that you wear it to look more beautiful because you are already beautiful❤️.
‼️‼️‼️
Or wear natural hair wigs and extensions but most of us choose straight hair still
@@goggle2233 Yeah.
I wouldn't dare be caught in wig/weave with straight strands unless its my own hair but even then it will still have a blow out look, not Becky or Ling ling's strands.
I wear wigs as protective styles cuz seasonal depression starts and I usually look a mess and do not have the will power to take care of my hair. However I do love it very much 🥰
THIS THIS THIS. it was beyond embarrassing to read those comments. Like imagine how you look!!
Black women would rather apply TLC to lace front wigs and weaves then their own natural hair. Black women would rather watch wig/weave instillation tutorial videos instead of educate themselves on how to manage and take care of their own hair. This is why other races disrespect our hair and the texture of it because we degrade and our ashamed of it. Imagine saying I love my natural hair but then wearing fake hair for 364 days of the year. In my opinion the core issue of black women wearing weave and wigs are insecurities, self hatred, and ignorance.
Yes I agree 100%!
THIS! With the money people spend on wigs, I wonder of they would spend the same amount on going to a hairstylist.
@@BluDrop5 500$ for wigs but they say natural hair products are expensive
This is why other races disrespect our hair definitely not because the other races are ignorant and disgusting in the first place
Not all black women….There’s a lot of true naturals, who don’t wear bundles. Who take good care of their hair, Myself included.
I like that the creator liked the comments that were simply just complimenting her without putting themselves down.
It’s even more embarrassing but well deserved cause we can look back & see how awkward it is & how creepy those “compliments” are
Being obsessed with wigs and bundles is weird. I'm glad I never hopped on the wig/bundles wave. It's not growing out of my head, so I feel like they're pointless.
You're very pretty btw
@@godislove7410 thank you, so are you!❤️
Your braids look so nice! What colors did you use?
@@nomvelomthethwa4002 thank you so much! It's black kanekalon braiding hair with I think, four packs of platinum blonde braiding hair.
@@britneyhoward5793 Thank you.
My aunt tells me “you think you’re a white girl,” because I prefer to wear my natural hair out 🤦🏾♀️ I just can’t with people
Girl I’m so sorry you have to deal with that. I don’t know your aunt but as a young adult who went natural as a teen and had to deal with similar comments there’s a high chance it’s cause of her own internalized Eurocentric beauty standards and seeing you embrace your blackness makes her uncomfortable when she thinks of what she had to do to assimilate when she was your age maybe by perming her hair or using a hot comb e.t.c you don’t deserve those comments regardless but sometimes knowing where someone’s weird comments stem from makes it so that it doesn’t get to you and affect you feeling yourself.
@@bambii_thinks3147 thank you so much! It feels nice to be understood. I just wish my aunt would leave me alone about how I decide to wear my hair. She probably does have some issues with her natural hair and Eurocentric beauty standards, and I understand. We are taught very young that our hair isn’t professional, attractive, or manageable. It took me years to accept my own self. I’m just to the point where I don’t like salons and I don’t like buying hair.
@CheekyLovesCheeseCake:) yes 🤦🏾♀️ I should question her next time she says it. I usually just get quite, because I don’t even know what to say to that.
@@BrianaAmiaka Def question that. It’s such a wild and contradictory comment, yikes.
I don’t understand
I think weave and wig wearing is a sign of classism. Like these women love wigs cuz it makes them feel important. Notice when you show disdain for wigs they clapback and say “if you broke and can’t afford good hair just say that” “or if you wear synthetic just say that”. I remember wigs in the 18th century is what the elite wore to show they were wealthy. Now fast forward we have Kayla Nicole and others perpetuating that type of arrogance within our own race and in hip hop songs that if you don’t reach a white standard of beauty, you are just poor and don’t have the funds to keep a celebrity appearance where bundles and European beauty makes you high class. Don’t get me wrong-Kinky textured hair is seen as beautiful in some societies but it’s clear it is the last preference which is why black women feel they have one up anyone that can’t afford to keep up an expensive hair regime like magazines and media.
I just realized this and how much classism is in black media
I saw a comment from an east asian saying "I thought Black women had straight hair and they would sometimes style them in curls... I felt stupid when I found out they naturally have this unique texture"... Unique is the key word. How can people appreciate the beauty of something they don't even see that much? and when they see it, it is always either in a very bad state because we are not well maintaining it, or not in its really natural texture?”
Yep, wearing straight hair and carrying Gucci bags are a sign of class. Makes me sick. I do my best to wear black owner brands specifically. If I want a pretty bag I’ll buy a dupe.
@@marysophy3665 Oh my gosh. Such a profound statement both you and the original comment is this post.
How can they recognize its beauty indeed? And class....hmm....
Beauty too.
Very very interesting point I've seen this too.
There's something about afro textured hair that hits so different- the volume, the curls/coils, texture, not too mention it's the definition of unique 😍: wouldn't want it any other way
Afro textured hair has personality and sex appeal!
Facts. Every time I wash my natural hair, I melt. It's so beautiful😭
@@jl9480 Love yourself and don't let anybody tell you otherwise.
@@jl9480 Start seeing the beauty in your hair - follow/watch people with hair like yours, don't let anyone dictate your perspective on what's beautiful hair, because 4c curls are indeed the most beautiful and unique. 💖
If volume is an issue, clip ins or crochet that blend in with your hair can be used x
@@jl9480 It's honestly your life-if you want to let people dictate your life and seek validation from them, do that. But there's nothing wrong with adding matched texture to your hair, which is the initial statement I made and one I made as a helpful option to you.
If you have a problem with me saying that and don't want to use textured clip ins for volume, then it looks like you need to go on a self love journey for your thin hair and stop letting others control your self esteem.
Thoughts about this whole video series, a huge part this definitely is self hate. Not for everyone, but definitely for a lot of people (and many are in denial). Even within the natural hair community the videos that get the most amounts of attention are the people with looser curls. However, I think a large amount of the self hate is not only due to beauty standards that white people have created but due to people not knowing how to do their hair. In the beginning of the movement I think there was more focus on loving Afro hair and “nappy” hair, but now many people go to the natural hair community not necessarily to learn how to appreciate their tight coils, but to get their hair to look and act like something it’s not. So many people fight with their Afro hair and do this that and the third making the process so much more complicated trying to get type 3 looking hair. The idea of “good hair” goes back generations and I think people dont like to believe that this mentality still exists, but it definitely does.
You're right
"Now many people go to the natural hair community not necessarily to learn how to appreciate their tight coils, but to get their hair to look and act like something it’s not" A WORD!! This is so true
Well said. I have been natural for 30 years and me and my sister always say “You never know what you are going to get (being natural) you just have to go with the flow.” 😆 Also, just have plenty of headbands and Bobby pins!
"I think there was more focus on loving Afro hair and “nappy” hair, but now many people go to the natural hair community not necessarily to learn how to appreciate their tight coils, but to get their hair to look and act like something it’s not. " THAT PARTTTTTTTT !!!!
Well said.
Also, we are more than our hair. The level of respect that a person gets should not be based on their hair or appearance. It should be based on integrity and attitude.✨
Yessss
Fr when the discussion of hair trafficking & how it affects Asian communities starts, we as black women are going to bear the brunt of it....
I mean to be fair, everything has some dark territories under it like simply buying a pair of jeans. Not saying it’s ok tho, exploitation definitely is a problem and needs to be stopped
Listen, I don’t have any issue with black women wearing wigs and sew ins with different types of textures, but the embarrassment that I got when I seen those comments under that tik tok was the same embarrassment that I get when black women are under white men’s comment sections asking “do you like black girls 🥺?” I’m not gonna sit here and bash anyone for wearing them, I use to like a bundle here and there of straight hair, but we as a community need to have a serious conversation about texurism and hair length. What you do as a black woman with your hair is your business, it doesn’t represent me, but when y’all go and uplift another race’s hair texture over our own, then it becomes a serious issue. I say this with love and I choose not to insult because you can’t make someone love their natural hair or natural self, that is a journey you have to take on your own. So I choose not to pass judgement.
THANK YOU!!! Black people have a problem with hair and we need to talk about it but I’m not gonna force someone to love their natural hair cause it might they might have hair trauma
At this point I'm living in embarrassment
So in following that same train of thought, what are your feelings who might genuinely wish to wear afro-textured hair ?I'm genuinely curious.
It’s so sad. We’ve been through so much.
@@iidentifyasjeffbezos I don’t agree. Men would still prefer other women over black women even if most wore their natural hair simply because of texurism and colorism. That is very self evident. It’s not going to change because we live in a society where black women’s features and hair have been deemed undesirable. More black women have been wearing their natural hair and people still have negative stuff to say about it. Do I believe black women should just conform to beauty standards to fit society’s definition of beautify? No. But when you’ve been told your features are undesirable by society it’s hard to break that chain of feeling undesirable. I’m not telling you to sympathize with them or feel bad…
"We buying this" lmaoo speak for yourself. I'm buying products to care for my own hair✋
Nah fr and how do they say that and not feel embarresed like bro🤦🏾
@@blackbarbie3743 self appreciation is at an all time low for alot of ppl. Ppl praise the most basic things nowadays
Same but when I ever get a wig/weave it's not bout to be a straight one, it feels weird wearing a hair texture that is so different from mine. I love afro's in different colors but I'm too scared to die my hair lol. I really love white afro's cause they look like clouds and look so beautiful to our brown skin! Nowadays if I want straight hair I will do a blowout and I wouldn't care if there's a lil texture in there. And if I'm gonna straighten my hair it will only be to see my length (which is barely cause I don't care to much about length).
Funny thing is black hair doesn’t need a lot of products to thrive. That’s a white washed marketing mentality that harms our community. I rarely use products on my own hair and it’s still soft and healthy. And yes I have 4C hair. Oversaturation of products weakens your hair.
@@dejstoney ik. Obviously i don't over do it lol. The products i buy are inexpensive but work well on my hair. Its hip bone length and hella thick too so i definitely know what i'm doin😂. The point i was trying to make is that i wld never put someone else's hair on mine or pay an arm and a leg for it. Ppl can do what they want though. Just don't say " we buying this" like we are all paying for other ppl's hair. Makes everyone look bad and that's not cool
For years when I wore extensions/braids. People thought it was my hair (weird). I purposely bought hair that matched my own texture and color. I didn’t get extra long lengths. I literally wore braidsfor convenience. Later I discovered shaving my hair and I discovered that I LOVED my hair short. And it was sooooooo much easier.
Out hair is very beautiful. I don’t want anyone else’s hair.
My biggest pet peeve is when folks cry and complain when someone else decides to cut their own hair. Coveting someone else’s hair makes you bald headed.
Yess the Stockholm syndrome needs to stop. Skin color is a issue, hair is a issue. Other than body shape, Black standards are clearly geared toward whiteness and we need to be free!! Love your videos I’ve binged this series multiple times! 🥺💕
I was just talking about this today!
No one's making you wear weaves or wigs, that's your insecurity...lol...all companies/organizations care about is everyone looking professional at work but if you want to look like you just git out of jail go work for a blackbowened company
If you follow their logic, then other races can wear Afro wigs 🙆🏽♀️. We know they’ll probably get mad if this happens.
You can wear Indian bundles but get mad when another race wears an Afro wig 🤭.
Preach the truth
Literally!! If they see an Asian woman with straight hair wearing an afro it’s cultural appropriation, but when it’s the other way around it’s fine. I understand that there are historical factors to consider but if we all just show society that natural hair can be professional and beautiful then I’m sure we can overcome the biases.
Yeah we already talk about how others are envious of our beauty when blackfishing happens so why wouldn’t we think it happens in the reverse and happens much more often
That's why I believe black women need to be careful with the cultural appropriation accusations. Because even if hair texture isn't cultural. It has become cultural for black women to walk around with another races hair on their head. These wigs and weave are made in places like Korea and women in India cut it off. So to then say an Asian can't wear braids and such walks a fine line. So many people believe black women hate our hair.
@@a.d.w8385 but braids is different, hair itself can be braided (it's culture and tradition), what can be compared is if non black women wear afro wigs
100% agree with you. When you try calling it out too ppl will respond that "you're just jealous you can't afford my hair" ....you know the typical goofy response. Well when that community decides to start blaming us for the continued support of hair trafficking and exploitation in their communities I don't want to hear pim. 🤐 No one is saying ppl can't wear weaves but there are weaves that are in our own textures. Those look better on us. And being truthful some of you look ridiculous always wearing something that ppl can CLEARLY see you didn't grow yourself. Point of weaves is for it to blend into your hair and be believable.
‼️
Exactly. It's funny how people try to insult you with a comment on what THEY value. SMH.
What if someone didn't value spending that $600 on something that depreciates in value?
@@BluDrop5 Exactly. 👏🏿👏🏿👏🏿
Are you Nigerian? Cause I saw the word, " pim" 🇳🇬🇳🇬😄
@@Peacebewithu34 lmaooo yes. 😭😭
I think it’s crazy how showing love and pride in your natural Afro hair texture is considered being a “pick me” Our community is SO backwards it’s disturbing. No other group of people is as obsessed with hair that isn’t theirs they way we are it’s very WEIRD and many of us are in DENIAL and refuse to have a legitimate conversation. Notice how they never come with valid arguments and good points it’s always an EXCUSE. There are wigs and sew ins in Afro textures but they don’t sell b/c black women DON’T WANT it. They’ll say natural hair is too expensive but it doesn’t have to be. I literally spend at most $20 a month on my hair b/c I’m taking a break from extensions. Even with extensions I’m still not spending as much as these women who are paying $200+ for a wig and then paying separately for installation. Then they say it’s too much work and takes too long. You spend hours in a chair getting your hair done but won’t spend the same time doing your own hair? You don’t have to do natural hair every day ( I DON’T). I think there’s a thin line between switching it up and hiding your hair. Some of y’all won’t even let your hair breathe because once you take out one style you put another in a day or two later. It’s OBVIOUS we want long hair (which is not a bad thing, long hair doesn’t belong to any one group of people) but we are not willing to put in the work for the length? Look you’re allowed to do whatever you want with YOUR hair but I have to admit that we’re becoming very hypocritical when we get mad at non black peoples for wearing Afros 🤷🏾♀️ how can you we be mad at them for copying our beautiful features when we ourselves are hiding it? It’s obvious they see beauty in something we don’t which is extremely sad. I LOVE my hair it’s not easy but the good ones never are. Afro hair is so unique and different it’s obvious God created it to stand out so why would I want to blend in with everyone else? I hope we all learn to LOVE every coil and curl because God didn’t make a mistake when he formed them. You were not made to blend in ladies and gentlemen.
Love this!! 💯
Please, them reducing her to her hair made me feel so uneasy 🤢 As if she wasn't a person and her hair was the only thing that mattered. Black women are so embarassing sometimes and this is why people stay saying we hate our hair and that we're bald 🙄
Like a mannequin in live action
It is self hate. Which is why the wigs they pick never are natural hair wigs. Not even 4b.
Girl not even 4A 🤧🤦🏾♀️
@@bambii_thinks3147 Rarely 3c too lmao
Do y’all think nicki Minaj is the true definition of self hate? She took the Barbie image too far IMO. She’s cute but she gives black women the wrong idea who are impressionable that thick long silky hair is our only true identity if we wanna win in life like her. She is obsessed with wigs and started a whole generation fixated on that through Instagram culture. Ppl wanna blame the kardashians but we never look at our own race too. Nicki is a horrible representation for black women. I get that it’s her job to look a certain way but it’s just irritating “fake” is her whole lifestyle and coaching women to be the same that have self esteem issues.
@@dejstoney Nicki's hair isn't even type 4 , she's a type 3.
When I was younger I thought she just liked experimenting you know because she wore all different type of wigs these days she just wears bone straight hair and black girls love Nicki so they'll obviously take from her and Cardi b.
💯
You are an inspiration don’t ever stop what you’re going for the natural hair community. We need more strong women assuming their own hair texture on TH-cam!
❤️❤️❤️
When u do where your real hair ppl keep asking is it your real hair when it is🤦why!!!!!!
I once realized “if other people can wear the head that grows out of their head, why can’t I?” Been natural ever since
For me when I was in HS, I noticed a huge difference in how people treat you based on changing hair. I luckily got on internet forums before youtube celebrating natural hair and was relieved of the peer pressure to have good hair.
I thought the people who liked me for my natural look were more authentic and I could be myself around them.
*My issue is that type 4 does not get this clout unless it’s stretched. I love my hair even when she doesn’t listen to me, I wouldn’t trade it for anything. Unfortunately, the majority of TT users are young, little girls with 4c hair who are reading the comments.*
But then Zendaya wears a 4C wig and all hell breaks loose?
i didn't understand that at all?
I believe our obsession with straighter texture hair has to do with the overall glorification and beauty standards are European. Straighter hair is more socially acceptable as well and easy to maintain. Afro hair texture is not celebrated or seen as any beauty standards by the main stream. It goes way beyond just changing your hair occasionally. Do you ever wonder why no other race uses Afro hair texture extensions/wigs? However this is not true in reverse. #sad
That “easy to maintain” is bull crap and an excuse. Natural Straight hair is oily and lice-ridden. If limp lifeless hair like a dog’s hair is easy to maintain I wonder if that’s a good thing 🤔When I have to constantly tease limp hair, it’s giving crackhead like I don’t shower vibes 😂😂😂 But YT and Asian are proud of this. Yea, I’m being petty just like they are with our hair that literally doesn’t have these problems besides ocassional matting. If anything tight coiled hair would be easy to maintain since it doesn’t shed and get all over the place unless you comb it.
😭
Girl I am so happy you made this video! Let's talk about this pls.😭 People are out here embrassing themselves and our community 🙆🏾♀️These people have noooooo self respect. Cheeze...
I had to !! 😭😭
I have 2 questions:
1. How does it having anything to do with lacking self respect?
2. How is it embarrassing to the individual and their community?
Respectfully, I would like to here your views because personally I think your response was quite harsh...
Black women will stop being the butt of everyone’s jokes, and will start to be respected when they stop thirsting after another woman’s beauty. There’s nothing wrong with complimenting another woman, but you don’t see non BW praising other women at the expense of their image. The self depreciating comments are 🥴
I just gasped when you said English isn't your first language WHAT 😲 I've been watching your videos for so long and I would have never known I must have missed that info
🥲 I don’t really speak it much anymore but I speak Creole
@@NaturalAcademia Are you Haitian?
@@chantalbonhomme4333 yes, she is. I remember her saying it in an older video
@@NaturalAcademia wow I'm so impressed with people who speak English as a 2nd language, it sounds so natural
@@NaturalAcademia I litteraly thought you were ganhean or from Ivory coast 😭😭😭 Do you plan on eventually doing videos in french ?
25:09 I actually like that she didn’t liked those negative comments that were the most like because she knew those people were projecting self hate and she even said to keep it positive in the comments instead of comparing yourself to her lol #womanpower 💥
This was a really interesting perspective. I hadn’t thought about objectification before you mentioned it. It makes sense though. Yes, she was showing off her hair but those comments were kinda predatory. The people sounded thirsty and kinda desperate. I think you summed it up when you said “massa massa we’re not jealous of you we’re jealous of your neighbor”. Let’s not even get into the fact that we face racism also from Asian groups yet here we are elevating them above ourselves in the comments. Nothing wrong with complimenting someone’s hair but that’s not what was happening.
I saw in another video where they posted Lily Singh joking about Tiffany Haddish feeling like family because she wears her cousin’s hair. Just showing that everyone notices these things about us no matter how much we try and make excuses for it.
Hmm...there's something about LS that seems very "throw a rock and hide your hand"-ish. I've noticed it over the years.
Omg!!!!!
@@BluDrop5 very true. Noticed that too. Not much of her fan anymore
@@BluDrop5 her whole shtick is being a bisexuality WOMAN OF COLOR, so that’s a very weird thing for her to say 🤨. shouldn’t she be uplifting other WOC? hmm 🤔
Some comments on the Tik tok made my skin crawl. To me there is ways of complimenting without putting yourself down. I think some people could read the comment, and get the wrong idea that we don't think much of our hair. I don't think I am saying anything new but there has been a lot of pressure on Black Women to conform to a certain type of stereotyped image of what is considered to be "tidy".Some of us might have internalized that self-hatred due to what media we consume, and what we see being "worshipped" by society. Even inside our own community, some men and women alike tend to put looser textures on a pedestal. To me, it will probably require us a lot of time and effort to disconnect from those prejudices and learn to value what we have and not contrast it negatively with what others got. We just need to make an effort in our community to celebrate each other, and stop putting anyone above us just because we have been taught that.
But it seems they don't want to unlearn
It’s an inferiority complex, we have been taught that we are not good enough, anything black is less than. This is coming from someone who grew up in a country that was under oppression till 25 years ago. We are still struggling with embracing our authentic selves because the apartheid era taught us we were not good enough. It will take another 100 years to change the thinking, that is why it is so beautiful watching the natural hair movement grow.
Tysm for touching on this! I also wanted to address that the fetishism around "mixed," or biracial children on Instagram is sickening. There are literally accounts that revolve around biracial children and the comments are horrifying from the parents; particularly black men and women. The comments ooze texturism, colorism, and this obsession with their children having eurocentric attributes. Its outta pocket atp and completely inappropriate. 🙄🤦🏾♀️
There are studies showing Instagram is one of the most damaging types of social media for young people. Not surprised. These platforms reinforce negative ideas on hair and body image.
@@Giggles50 very true
Omg this !!
I agree but do you think it’s still fetishism for blk ppl who date or marry out who will obviously be able to only make biracial children with their non blk partner , praise biracial children?
@@PrincessYonna1 correct me if I’m wrong but I feel like more of the black male diaspora do this . I feel they have a lot of self hate or worry because of what they go through all over the world (racism/prejudice) that they will gun for biracial children so their kids won’t go through it. I could be wrong. I do feel some do have other race partners for love tho and because their perception is their own diaspora do not prefer them. I heard this a few times before from males…
27:05 Gold! - "We can't keep begging people for representation when we don't represent ourselves" - That sums it up perfectly. I say this all the time. From head to toe, represent yourself if you want to see yourself in more spaces.
The less you represent yourself and the more you try to look like others and the more you consume representation unlike your own, the more space it leaves for other representatives to come in and assume/take up space/stake claim (squeeze you out) in the realms of your representation, which is what we see happening often, especially in entertainment media.
Simply put. Be you, so you can see you. Nobody but us share our phenotype (nobody can truly pull off looking like us, especially our hair, and if they do it is usually out of disrespect), so I don't understand why we try to look like everyone else so often.
It’s like 4 type wigs and weaves aren’t a option for us, those comments where so embarrassing 😳 like we spend hours installing and customizing a lace front wig but learning our hair type is "to hard to manage" 🤦🏾♀️
just a few weeks ago I had a conversation with this woman at work who has an obsession with "pretty hair". when I asked her if she thought she didn't have pretty hair too, she said "no girl I got nappy hair". the complete ignorance of what she was saying is so appalling. this shit is so deeply rooted most people don't realize what is going on.
Wait! You’re Haitian and English isn’t your first language!? I’ve watched a lot of your videos and would’ve never thought! Your English sounds so natural 😱
Felt the same too 😅
She's Haitian?? Oh wow and yeah her English is perfect
@@Hello-iz9hl In one of the comments below, she said that she mainly speaks creole. I know there are many different creole’s out there but Haitian Creole is the most popular one so I’m pretty sure she’s Haitian
You can speak a language fluently without having a distinctive accent, especially if you're born in the country where your 2nd/3rd language is spoken. Your first language is usually the language that's spoken in your household. Someone born in the USA can have French as their first language if that's the language that's spoken in their household while still learning English at the same time. Many children of immigrants have the language of their country of origin as their first language. I'm fluent in Dutch because I grew up in the Netherlands. Many people think I was born in the Netherlands due to my accent, but I learned it when I was 10 (after moving to the Netherlands) and it's my 3rd language.
I actually think it's a problem. I wear box braids or faux locs at times because I live in Jamaica and sometimes the sun does more harm than good. Plus my hair texture tends to get curly with humidity so that keeps my hair protected and the styles longer. A lot of females don't feel beautiful without the wigs and weaves and that's a problem I think
This is true. I actually had a friend who did not feel beautiful without her wigs and was ashamed to show her natural hair. I also wear box braids and faux locs.
It’s not even just straight hair. For some reason we seem to prefer looser curl textures. I’ve seen so many tiktoks about how “your hair isn’t actually 4c, it’s dry” or stuff like “you don’t take care of your hair” and other related comments. Like my hair is never gonna be that loose no matter how much gel I use. Some of our hair doesn’t naturally do that! But seeing people talk bad about your hair because you don’t define it everyday is super discouraging.
100% I don't think defining your curls is self hate because some people acc have curls but we need to accept the fact that most black people have coily hair
@@Dee-ux4vq I agree, I don’t think there’s anything wrong with that, I just dislike the fact that when you don’t, people say “you don’t take care of your hair”. But yes, you’re completely correct
Yeah I’ve gotten tired of defining my coils. Most of the times I’ll just stretch it with heat or twist it to give it volume. Even then I just need to accept it’s shrunken and wants to be left alone.
I like the way my curls look defined, but I’d rather have volume than definition any day!
The “good hair” reference should refer to ALL HEALTHY HAIR. No matter what texture
I’m so grateful I have locs! I use to wear weave/wigs as protective styles to help my hair grow. However comma I had to educate myself on taking care of my Hair, and find my own true beauty being comfortable wearing my natural hair.
My family is not big on being natural and to this day very pessimistic about anyone who is not relaxed or wears weave/wigs!
Going under that woman's comments and joking about wearing her hair on your head is so embarrassing ... lmaoo
I’m a wig wearer. Only because I thought it was more manageable. I found your channel recently. And I’m going to grow my own hair. My daughters have also grown out their relaxers and they have beautiful long healthy hair. I’d rather have hair like yours than that hair you showed in the picture. I love my 4c hair now. Thanks to you. X
Aw that's amazing tbh❤️❤️❤️✨. Love to see it.
White women: “Now why am I in it? See how I get thrown in stuff?”
😂😂😂
It’s so sad that there’s so much self hate in the black/ natural hair community. The “good hair” narrative goes back generations and is still VERY prevalent today. I just wish we would learn to accept ourselves the way that we are. Btw, I love your channel and hope you’re doing well.🤎
No bs that tiktok trend made me hella insecure, ngl it had me really spiraling about my type 4 hair
Aww...I hope that one day you are able to fully appreciate your hair. Definitely take steps to care and style for it in a way that makes your comfortable and confident. Our hair is unique and beautiful 😊💞
same. made me super insecure
God made your beautiful hair never be ashamed
@@MariO-wh6dr God made your beautiful hair He wanted it to look unique never be ashamed
what trend?
I have 4a natural hair and I noticed that people only compliment me when I either slick my hair down with gel or I flat iron my hair and it’s long and straight. I noticed that BOTH white and black people ogle over my hair every time I flat iron my hair. ( I only flat iron once a year.) It’s sad that so many black people have such an obsession with long straight hair. Also the only weave I wear is box braids and faux locs as a protective style because the sun is harsh where I live.
can i just say, i always love your comments every time i see them. i absolutely agree.
So true! I am still dealing with self-esteem issues surrounding my 4c hair. So I wear textured wigs ranging from 3c - 4b. It wasn't until this year that I started taking care of my hair again. I'm hoping by the end of the year I'll let the wigs go and be comfortable without it at all.
Sorry to hear that,however I talked about self love maybe you could check it out.thank you
th-cam.com/video/jKqD1dcLlVM/w-d-xo.html
How did the world become like this?
People with skin that can block the damaging rays of the sun are the ones feeling like their skin is ugly.
People with hair that goes against physics (everything under gravity must go down) are the ones trying to hide their hair.
The day black people all over the world realise this, is the day our collective egos will get so huge.
And I think that's why putting our features down first started, we are already proud even in the face of being put down, imagine the confidence when we realise what our skin does and how our hair acts? Nowadays tho, they don't need to put down our features anymore, we're doing it ourselves.
Also that girls hair is really pretty and long, it's a testament to how much she takes care of her hair.
I decided to grow my links and coils last month after realising I have 2 inches of hair because the shrinkage had me thinking it was still really short. I'm learning new things, im trying to enjoy the short length but I also hope for giant fluffy fro.
Your hair is as beautiful to me as the TikTok girl's, and technically because yours is more like mine, it's more beautiful to me ☺️
this was such a great comment! so true. people seem to forget, what our hair texture CAN do that other textures CAN'T do. many people are starting to admiring or maybe have always admired our hair.!
This part! The biggest effects of colonization were mental. That's what they wanted. Now we have things in the reverse. When we have our beautiful features no other races have, it's actually a strength.
I remember there was a part of "Good Hair" (the hair documentary) where a little Indian girl said if she saw a black girl she would run from her because she thought they would take her hair. The obsession is definitely creepy and gives major self-hate. Ofc we know that our hair has been degraded for centuries bc of you know what, but YOU KNOW WHAT? You can also wear weaves of black hair OR learn how to do your own hair. They make rap songs about their bundles, they spend thousands on hair, they spend hours watching wig tutorials but are the same ones saying their hair doesn't grow or natural hair is expensive. Isn't getting your braided down and wig'd up expensive? We are a literal laughing stock when we wear weave talking about how much we love our hair/ our selves 😂Nicki came through with the "good lacefronts" now everyone trying to look like some type of "doll". These types of women are way too loud with their hair hate on social media....it makes non-BW feel good about themselves. See the number one response to cultural appropriation: well, they wear our hair isn't that CA as well?
Ya'll we gotta do better and not look crazy out here. Now people will always question every black girl's hair to humble us. "Is that a weave??" "is that your real hair?" if we love bundles so much why do we get upset when the other race points it out?
I got bullied for being natural by everyone especially bm and bw but I learned to embrace my hair i never wear weave or wigs I never straighten my hair and I try to uplift other black women our hair is very versatile and less likely to have lice
😘
Girl, yes! Sorry for your experience... Honestly those are typical blackistan mindsets. If it's possible, please avoid those kind of self hating, ignorant black people. I'm also pro black women natural beauty- our hair is beautiful and there's so much that can be done with it. Glad to see there's some girls who are seeing the light. ❤️✨
Honestly the whole POV that they were just complimenting her in a jokingly way seemed like bs to me. All jokes come from a place of truth which is what makes them funny in the first place. All all the comments objectifying this woman hair screams self-hate. It’s not giving I love my hair it’s giving I wish I had Havana’s hair. Also a lot of this mentality started in slavery of course but it’s being continued in black households. Your mom is doing your hair telling you it’s nappy or you’re being told that you have good hair if it’s curly. It’s saddening that this self-hate mentality starts with the family. I personally don’t wear weave because it’s too much work to make it look natural when I don’t have to try as hard with my hair. I have 2 little girls who have kinky, curly hair and I want them to grow up knowing that they are beautiful how they are and YT is not the beauty standard.
Not just black Americans it'd usually black women in the western world in general. Bw in the UK r the same.
Why don't we ever talk about sew-in weaves tearing out black women's edges? I see so many black women who are missing the first four inches of their hairlines.
This is why if I wear weave it needs to match my natural texture
Thank u for talking abt this cuz them saying that type of stuff is embarressing and degrading😐
Somebody had to 🥲
I agree with you. That comment directed to yt people saying “ that’s the hair we’re buying” was such a weird flex. Yes, we are oppressed but this is not the way to fight it. This was very embarrassing.
We are not oppressed. Victim mentality is destroying black America and black ppl just make excuses, blame the white man for everything and still beg white people to save you. White man ain't telling black women to wear straight weaves and shame natural hair, y'all do that just fine by yourselves
Every time i see a buhlack woman wearing her own hair, i rejoice
It's the over glamorizing women that don't look like you. That's my main issue. You are hyping someone that's the complete opposite of your image. Do they do that to your image? Rarely. A lot of it is self hate but we want to be in denial. Rather call it what it is. If you wear weaves/wigs 90% of the time it's medical or low self esteem of the TRUE you.
I also wonder why they're SO against seeing others in afros. I understand it partially because I know that they'll say that they're not accepted with their own hair, so other people doing it is frustrating for them. But the other part of me wonders why they don't see the benefit of it looking like their hair is enviable. The same message that's sent whenever other races see black women with their hair on would be the same message projected if other races were allowed to wear afros without any backlash. But idk I guess, like they say 'imitation is the highest form of flattery'.
I can understand your point, but to me, what you have understood partially, is pretty much the entire thing. Nobody says that Afro hair can’t be enviable. And I think we can comprehend it like this. But it is not easy to be comfortable with other people wearing Afro this easily in a society where I can still be pointed out for the same hair. And when this person could just stop to follow the trend when it end or stop when she doesn’t want it anymore, and go back to her more socially acceptable type of hair, we STILL have our Afro hair. And honestly, until I, the person with Afro hair, can’t let my hair go like they are, without worry, in any situation, I would feel a little bitter to see people wear it just because it’s beautiful without understanding my situation. (I live in France and I can tell you that if I go on a job interview with an Afro for example, I could receive comments or eyeing).However it’s just how i feel, I don’t speak for others, anyone can do what they want or feel how they want.
@@perrine4207 I understand where your point of view. I understand people's bitterness about that and I think they have a right. I guess the solution would be to wear our natural hair more but that still doesn't solve the job interview issue you mentioned though. But yeah, I see how it's not fair but I wonder if others imitating us would normalize it (eventhough it's not ideal because we shouldn't have to get white people to do it for it to be seen as normal). But there is still a benefit on the other side of this conundrum that leads to our phenotype being seen as enviable.
@@louiseama00 the thing is this has already kind of been done with “tan/darker” skin. It turns into a “we normalized having dark skin for us (yt people) but not for you”. How many of these folks give themselves skin cancer to have darker skin but natural dark skin has yet to be seen as fully acceptable. Even if they wear our hair the fact that we are born like this will not be seen as acceptable. Imo
@@louiseama00 why do people have to envious of Afros for us to be appreciated?
I also feel like history plays a huge part as blk ppl have been made to feel as though their hair is not professional or beautiful
I wish Michelle Obama became an example of this during her 8 years in the White House but no as soon as she left all the sudden she got pictured with her natural texture.
Natural hair can still be styled to fit “professional” looks too. It does require more work though the tighter your texture is. Protecting styles aren’t protective if your hair constantly breaks. I think nowadays we just make too many excuses.
@CheekyLovesCheeseCake:) 💯💯💯
I love hearing about this. I hope society changes soon. I remember when I used to wear weaves and wigs believing my hair wasn't able to grow. I almost lost my hair due to all the extensions. Now that I've stopped my hairs grown so much and flourishing. If I need to protective style I only wear headwraps and would never let a wig, weave or braids go in my hair again
I hope so as well,I talked about self love maybe you could check it out thank you.
th-cam.com/video/jKqD1dcLlVM/w-d-xo.html
Since going natural i tried wearing weave once and it just felt and looked weird imo now the only extensions i use are braids ,for most part i wear my own hair.
I only wear different braid styles including locs, twists, and natural hair clip ins.
I’m not surprised that there are bw under here triggered. Y’all gotta stop. She is telling the truth y’all don’t be wanting to hear. I’ve never been obsessed with any hair that wasn’t Black 💅🏽 I guess we’re the rarity 🤷🏽♀️
I hope this becomes a very strong talking point in the next decade. Hopefully, it will force black women to take a deep look into themselves and ask why do I go for textures that aren't my own.
Very distasteful how black women and girls were drooling 🤤over her hair🙄. Then we wonder why acceptance of our hair is such an issue. Most of us don't even accept our own😔
Ok i know this is harsh. But i honestly want something to happen where the weave and wigs are no longer available to force black women to wear their hair and be forced to love it😂. Messed up i know especially because alot of women need weaves and wigs bc of balding problems (yeah my solution is flawed) . But imagine most black women in the world finally accepting themselves and not simping over straight hair? You'll see big afros everywhere it would be so awesome.
In Rwanda the President stopped the importation of waves and Wigs
Same I used to work at a beauty supply store and would tell my boss that I can’t wait for the day weaves stop being sold.
They are glad they don’t have that option because they are addicted to the pretty privilege of long straight hair like a drug. Blame nicki minaj, Cardi b, city girls and all these celebs that have no backbone to embrace their true selves for marketing purposes.
@Diamond Yes, Diamond. But these women are not using wigs as a last resort like a cancer patient would that doesn’t have the option to grow their hair. They are using it non stop like it’s their own DNA. Oh and yes do they look beautiful. Good quality silky hair can look amazing! But goodness keep the same energy for your own roots. Kinky hair is unique and deserves representation too.
@Diamond and I’m sorry I’m not disagreeing with you. I don’t like ppl policing black woman’s hair either but come on. When straight hair becomes what’s desirable in the black community, it speaks volumes.
Just an opinion but I feel like if the majority of black women wore their real hair out in its natural state society would accept it more.
I agree
This what I've been saying!
I’ve been wearing weave since I was little! Lol my mama told me she didn’t know how to deal with it or take care of it but she would care to my sisters (their hair texture is looser) she cut it off and I wore crochet and got perms. In middle school I wore my first sew in with straight hair then I started doing my own hair and wore sew ins ALL THE TIME never letting my hair breathe I thought I was ugly with my real hair and in my mind I’m like if my mama didn’t like it why should I? I finally started to wear my hair in college cut it all off and started over and I’m loving it more and more! I definitely think parenting has something to do with it too or maybe that was just in my home 😂😬
This conversation 10 + years ago woulda been WAAAAY more Hateful… blk women today are waaaaaay more evolved, waaay more ‘woke’ waaaay more SELF LOVING, & more AMAZING all around! We gotta congratulate ourselves for these accomplishments!🥰🙏🏽❤️
Your comment is two years old and hung, we are drowning in hair hats. All that "work" is going down the drain
Looking at humans as bundles lmao! Girl yes it's sad out here!!! Thanks for speaking on this cause it is embarrassing. Glad I don't claim them folks
YOUR shade is THEEE BEST!!! Covers ALL of FLORIDA LMBO!!! 😆😅🤣
I try to be nice 😩
I have 3b-3c hair I had a woman, to my FACE say " You got that good hair. Do you know how many women buy hair to look like yours ?" Another woman asked what products do I use so her hair would curl like mine 🤦🏾♀️
What is clear by the comments that there is a lot of psychiatrists are falling short on their patient load. Not joking. It is also sad and thought provoking as to how ingrained, for some, self loathing is. People, particularly women, need to understand the social correlations on beauty be it on phenotype or texturism comes from perception of social dominance that then becomes the social norm. Great topic. Comparison truly can be the thief of joy.
What’s funny is I was just screaming at the millionth wig tutorial today like “y’all never do any natural hairstyles! what am I supposed to do?!” 😂
"Massa, massa, this the hair we buying" 🤣😭😭😭
Objectification is only an issue when black people are being objectified.... I am so hurt when people assume my hair is a wig. And it happens all the time! Takes me 3hr to get my hair popping when going out and then every single person asks me if it's a wig... Somehow I should be flattered cause it looks as good as a wig. I absolutely can not...
I’m sorry if this comment objectifies you but I love your hair. It is similar to mine but my hair is not as long. I recently started watching your videos hoping that I might get tips on how to further treat my hair and keep it healthy, right now there is a lot of breakage. I believe that if I moisturize the way you state in your videos I will have healthy hair. I must admit that it took me over 50 years to appreciate the hair that God gave me. I used to straighten it with hot combs and use hair relaxers because I thought that was the best way to “manage” my hair. Now that I’m on the natural hair train, I’m going to try to stay on it thanks to people like you who are willing to share their success with managing their natural hair.
Mine was breaking a lot too when I stopped relaxing after I cut it I use henna to strengthen it it works great
That’s why I’ve always worn my natural hair. To me, it looks desperate for us to want hair like theirs and it undermines us, our culture, me myself and I.
I'm so happy that alot of black women in my country are starting to love being natural but I fear it's because of what's popular right now, I hope it's more then just a trend.
It’s a trend
I just don't understand all this weaving & wigging. God created you & gave you your hair texture, embrace it! Proper washing & conditioning will allow your own hair to grow! I have loose wavy hair & I've grown it out to the middle of my back. When I pull a strand of my hair it doesn't brake. Finding the right product for your hair type will allow it to grow! Doing less is more for growth!
Girrrrl, you are spitting so much truth!!
I started my own weave-free journey in 2016. It's so hard to reprogram ourselves when we've grown up and Iived in a Eurocentric world..the first step to change is knowledge though, so thank you for being a DISTINCT VOICE in the culture of conformity xx
I ask the same question! Why do black women wear fake hair? I don’t understand! God knew what he was doing when he made our hair for he said I am fearfully and wonderfully made marvelous are thy works….psalm 139:14. Love how God made you.
Well first of society
Our hair is beautiful!!!
@@NaturalAcademia I wish society could see that...
I thinks the same thing 😂 but probrably they just want to... idk its just some persons choice .. 😂
@@sadinahrafael9700 same
To be fair, it’s not only black women who covet long, straight “horse like” hair. The beauty industry is HUGE because every woman out here black white brown yellow and red are going for the same standard. I remember the white girls in highschool waking up an hour early to straighten their hair every. Single. Morning. And the frying it to be blonde, the complaints that it won’t grow or it’s too frizzy or too thin or too limp. No woman is happy with their hair, not just us 4c girls. That’s why I hate when other races of women talk about our weave because if they had 4C hair they’d be wearing straight weave down to their ankles 🙄 I’ve seen women cry over losing an inch of hair.
I don't like the "white women do it, too" arguments like yours, because they tend to be weak. At least you acknowledge that many white people don't have naturally stick straight hair.
I can never understand the concept of wearing someone else’s hair on your head !
A controversial opinion???? That shouldn’t be controversial?!?! we love it.
I like my own hair, always have. I was just bored of seeing wigs on everybody hair like *eew most of them look basic now with those wigs, lashes, and nails.* MY hair looks amazing
Lmaoo. True! 🤣
lol the whole thing was just cringe, I was also embarrassed.
Girl same
This is pretty embarrassing. It’s like all these ladies lost all their pride to put a non-black woman on a pedestal. And you wonder why weirdos like Tila Tequila can get online and disrespect us all?
I said this on another video BW don’t dislike their natural hair texture. They dislike the shrinkage. I think you should address that. People still find long 4C hair like yours desirable over short 4C TWAs.
Shrinkage means your hair is healthy. It is the process of the hair going back to its natural state which is an afro for many. I think many BW just don't have the chance to come to terms with that, rather stick to what they're used to (wigs, braids) (nothing wrong with that either ofc) and it's just as what you said in another comment about Classism which i absolutely agree with.. But it's another reason why these hair companies bank off statements like "defines your curls" "get definition" etc and why the Natural Hair Movement got sabotaged from what I noticed.
But even hair her length shrinks. Its just the nature of a coil to do that.
Texturism aside most cultures like long hair over short hair. I never understand when someone says 4c hair is only appreciated when it's long. Someone walking by me with 6 inches is straight hair doesn't make me bat an eyelid either. Is probably care of it was 26", same with the type 4 hair.
Directly off your point, "shrinkage" IS our hair texture though. That's like white people calling their hair hair "stretched".
Without the coils our hair would be a different textures and or straight.
Agreed bcz my hair is 24 inches and when it shrinks it looks like a twa and honestly it's frustrating. Even after stretching with high heat, my hair reverts in a second 🙃
No Indian women know it and love it. They don't feel objectified. Those black women just fed her ego. Trust me. I'm so glad I don't need to use their hair. She doesn't feel dehumanized. Are you crazy?
Hate to admit it but it’s true, my mom is always telling me my hair is so beautiful why I’m always wearing wigs 😭