King Leopold: What is your price? The witch: return the means of production, distribution, and exchange to the community. King Leopold: BURN THE WITCH!
I think it would be cool to see a video explaining all the different risk-class and End of the World-class scenarios. Some of them sound pretty self-explanatory, but others are quite confusing.
@@lostbutfreesoul Almost certainly an XK-class End-of-the-World scenario. 5000 would have resulted in the end of the human race, but not the destruction or fundamental changing of reality itself. XK is very common, relative to the other classes to my knowledge
The habsburg family's non anomalous history is already bad enough. The idea of them transmuting themselves into depraved hedonistic cannibal mutants thanks to a few sarkic occult rituals truly makes them all the more horrifying.
@@jaymeVos a running joke (that I assumed everyone knew) is the conspiracy that the world elites are shape-shifting lizard people. (you can find multiple low quality edits or "proof" of important leaders and such blinking with a presumably edited in second lizard like eyelid.
I've had a theory for a while that this SCP is possibly related to SCP-082, Ferdinand the Cannibal. Ferdinand isn't as ugly or deformed, but maybe he's an exile of this family and the only major birth defect is a bad memory.
I feel like simple physical description contradicts this theory, Fernand lacks virtually all traits from the aristocrats with eating humans being pretty much the only common traits between the 2 and there is a mountain of other scps that share that trait so not unique by any means.
The tale, "Fit For a King" adds on to the story of SCP-3288. "The Empress" is believed to be located in the Black Forest given her title, The Empress of the Black Forest. However, before the Foundation could gain any clues about her location/wherabouts as well as other hives hidden, the researcher questioning SCP-3288-ALPHA became so disgusted with the entity who started to request for live children. Said researcher disobeyed orders and "slayed the Goblin King". The Aristocrats is honestly one of the most creepiest SCPs I've ever read. Part of me wishes to see an update/tale with the Foundation finding clues about the Empress. But they could only found an abandoned hive with a note saying the Empress knows about their existence. And ending it with "You can resist me all you can, it makes no difference. You'll all become a part of me"
@@drblackguymd not that I know of. “Fit For a King” is the only tale that adds on to the SCP. But hopefully, someone writes a new tale about the mysterious empress or updates the SCP file
@@2yoyoyo1Unplugged No one knows. Atm, it's considered a blessing she hasn't made a move. Their only lead to her location was killed by one of their researchers. Besides, the Foundation doesn't even know her exact location. They are only asssuming she lives in the Black Forest based on her title. The only way they can find her before the invasion is if they find another nest to interrogate or they find her nest. That's why I hope one day, someone updates this file or adds another tale to this SCP. Even better would be a written separate SCP file that is connected to this one.
Jesus Christ is lord. Seriously, it is all true. Please read at least three books of the Bible. The first book of each testament and one you chose yourself. As you do practice forgiveness. It is literally important-
Mixing Sarkicism and the Habsburgs is an awesome way to show how history is affected by the anomalous . It also does an amazing job of showing what one deluded person with the motives and means to access the anomalous can make the world an exponentially shittier place to live. Anyway Ty for this mate your channel will always be my favourite :)
And that's why I don't like the serpent hands because they for some reason don't realize the consequences of letting the every day person know about the anomalous because as soon as they do some monster just waiting to happen wakes up and realizes the thing they can do with that type of crap now I whilst I don't like them doesn't mean I hate them i just think thier shortsighted
@@theenderdestruction2362 I dunno, I've thought about this a lot, and I'm actually not sure if the Foundation keeping knowledge of the anomalous hidden does anything good in this regard, since people with a lot of power and influence (like the Habsburgs) are usually still able to figure out how to access anomalous boons to their horrible plots anyway in-universe (I mean, this is pretty much why MC&D exist), and all them keeping the masses in the dark about everything really accomplishes is assuring they live in blissful ignorance and have absolutely no idea how to handle shit when the Foundation inevitably fails at some point to keep something contained on a major scale (which seems to happen with some frequency in more recent stories, since so many deal with NK Class events nowadays). Like, maybe the Serpent's Hand are shortsighted in thinking that the anomalous should be completely freed and the Foundation shouldn't even try to contain the really dangerous stuff, but I think they kind of have a point at least about keeping most of humanity ignorant about the true nature of reality (also, the absolutely inhumane way the Foundation often treats anomalous people or living anomalies that are largely harmless, or at least not particularly dangerous, which in a lot of stories is what motivates a lot of people to join the Serpent's Hand in the first place). Like I always tend to think it's better to know what you're truly up against than to live in ignorance and hope someone else will take care of you. Like in the real world, I don't think hiding very real existential threats like nuclear war or climate change would be helpful in the slightest, and while bad people in our world have used knowledge of science and technology to do horrifying things (like build nuclear weapons), I also don't think it would be better to hide science and technology from the masses. Also, it seems like a significant number of SCP authors at least partly agree with me here, considering out of all the stories where the masquerade is broken in some way (obviously outside of situations where it happens because of a literal apocalypse), more often than not, life seems to go on and the world if anything seems like an overall better place for it (the Foundation being public is anything helpful for their efforts to contain the really scary anomalies, the safe anomalies are freed, and the beneficial ones can now benefit everyone instead of just the O5 council).
Man, he had to break out that oldie goldie because he told a 9/11 joke that the public didn't take well not too long after the event, and it was a good one too, but hey I'm one to creak too soon jokes 😉
Gottfried had a perfect voice for comedy. I recall John Oliver getting him to read excerpts from a British Act Of Parliament on 'Last Week Tonight' and he managed to make that funny. I have heard his version of 'The Aristocrats' and it's hard to imagine someone topping it.
Gottfried told his joke at the Hugh Hefner roast, which was only 3 weeks after 9/11. Jeff Ross even said to Rob Schneider "Hey Rob, hasn't there already been enough bombs in this city?" much to the oohs and groans of the audience. Then Gottfried comes out with his Aristocrats joke and immediately lifts the audiences mixed feelings into uproarious laughter.
The render of the king creature gave me nightmares when I saw it in another SCP video. However I was less scared when I came up with my own containment procedures: lock em up and pump em full of liquid meat (industrial foregoing style) because they get stronger the hungrier they get right? Some roof slits would be useful too Tbh the SCP foundation really helps me deal with spooky stuff: the thing that follows you up the stairs when you turn off the light downstairs and run upstairs? Just imagine an MTF busting down the door and shooting it. Thanks
@@denofpigs2575 “oh hey, here are some cool people who are interested in the same thing I am, I’m going to ask them a question for 1. To get the answer, and 2. Interact with the people who share the same interests as me! People are supposed to share knowledge with each other & it’s supposed to heighten the relationships we can build with others don’t be a dick about somebody not only asking questions but interacting with similar people. It’s also not that deep. Just don’t be a dick lol
This isn't an SCP this is just the normal Habsburg family. Jokes aside, the whole article sounds like a joke at first but it's written so competently that it terrifying. Welp that's SCP for ya.
This was one of the first SCPs I ever read. I've always had a passing interest in the Habsburgs and related stuff, but I really never in a million years expected to hear Mr. Exploring Series read out the quote about Charles II's watery skull and his single, shrunken peppercorn testicle. The actual journal from Leopold was very well done, though. Really captured the absolute insanity of that mindset.
the (very real, or at least, it wasn't made up for this story) description of Charles II's completely fucked up anatomy at death has always haunted me. Like, he was an absolute monarch of a brutal colonial empire and I'm sure was complicit in plenty of horrible things, but I also can't help but feel pretty bad for him, too. He basically got screwed over because his family was afraid if they didn't keep only procreating with their close relatives they'd get usurped somehow, and because of it his entire life was probably one of nothing but horrific agony and confusion. I'm assuming the autopsy report was probably not 100% accurate (or maybe they waited too long after he died to do it or something), considering I'm pretty sure no human being can have "not a single drop of blood", but if it's even partly true, he must've had so many things wrong with him by the time he died.
Wouldn't mind seeing 682 actually meeting these guys for once. Knowing it's total distain for life in general, it would probably find them especially repugnant.
I don't think they'd be nihilistic enough for 682 to empathize with them, like they care way too much about cannibalism (well, sort of, I guess they're not exactly human, but you know what I mean), incest, and glorious absolute monarchy, the reptile only vibes with entities like 3125, beings that solely exist to destroy life and nothing else. Plus, I think these things would still be too close to humanity for 682's tastes.
@@Ake-TL oh yeah I forget the number of the SCP, but it's the one where the Foundation creates some god-like AI to erase a concept from the noosphere completely, but it ends backfiring badly and instead the AI just becomes extremely hostile and indestructible, and the Foundation can't even remember why because the reason they created it in the first place has been erased from their memories. (*Spoilers* form this point on if you actually want to read or learn about the whole thing, it was covered on this channel a number of months back)... ...the thing they erased all knowledge of from the noosphere with the AI was actually 682, it was their latest failed effort to destroy it once and for all, because even though everything about 682 as a concept was expunged from reality itself, the AI still retained knowledge of 682 out of necessity, and thus it effectively became the last conceptual manifestation of 682 itself, taking on its mindset and unkillable properties, while the entire Foundation can't even remember that 682 ever existed, nor why the AI did for that matter, which obviously leads to major problems. Apparently 682 also found 3225 while outside the noosphere, and the two formed an alliance due to their mutual hatred for basically everything, making the god-like AI which is the last thing tying 682 to our reality that much more dangerous.
I love learning about SCPs I hadn't discovered yet, but your reading of Leopold's journal was a special treat, as this is definitely one of my favourite SCP.
This is easily one of my favorite SCP’s and I hope no one takes it the wrong way because I love practically all of your videos but it is nice to get an SCP that isn’t an alternate destroyed timeline or metaphysical or unknowable God every now and then lol
This is probably one of the most covered (top 20 at least) but it's got all the good marks of an scp. Historical references, vaguely supernatural backstory and an element of humor that doesn't subtract from the horror.
They're more based off of an exaggeration of the actual appearance of the later members of the Habsburg line, who developed a lot of very visible inbreeding-related deformities, including a type of prognathism so distinctive that it became known as the "Habsburg jaw". Plus, Tarrare was described as having a very indifferent, flat demeanor, which doesn't quite seem in line with these guys and their boisterous love of decadence and intrafamilial orgies. He also was just some random French peasant rather than a descendant of a major royal line. Tarrare would make a really good SCP, though, to the point where I'd almost be surprised if there wasn't one based off of him already.
In so many of these SCP entries and articles, I find Echoes of HP Lovecraft. This particular entry reminds me of the lurking fear. A story about a family of insular back woods types who begins to interbreed and devolve into monsters. Also present are whispers of "The Case of Charles Dexter Ward" about the infamously long-lived alchemist. As well as a small nod to the family of evil portent known as De la Pour in "The Rats in the Walls."
@@KyleJordanGaming the thing that makes the case of Charles Dexter Ward a bit of an unknown is its length. Not to mention that it was one of the only pieces of long prose that Lovecraft ever wrote. That coupled with the fact that the verb is used is so over the top of most people's heads is reason why is it isn't better known. Lovecraft himself wasn't truly proud of the peace, even though it is a work of genius.
Vaguely astounded that I've lived my entire life in the internet (filth) age and it was this channel that introduced me to the Aristocrats joke. Great SCP from a disgusting inspiration. Wonderful narration as always!
That witch could have survived if she hadn't asked for her payment in Leopold giving the wealth and land of his kingdom to the people. She wasn't wrong in asking that but she could gave guessed what was going to happen next considering the lengths dude was going to keep his royal Alabama bloodline
Half of all time takes place in the night, and there’s absolutely no telling exactly how many of them exist or how widespread they are, especially given their high fertility rates, rapid growth, and new, disgusting means of “spreading their bloodline”. It’s better to be overly cautious and prepared for the worst than lax and unprepared in general, but especially with a species like this, when you don’t have all of the info necessary to launch an assault.
While i love the more fantastical aspect of the scp universe like the fae and children of the night, a return to more classical body horror and killing/containing it through superior firepower is quite welcome
"Leopold I ended up meeting a witch and basically used her incredible magic powers to try to make inbreeding awesome." - Only in the SCP universe would a line like this make sense.
Glad to see you covering this Skip. It's been one of my top 10 faves ever since Volgun covered it a while back. It's such peak SCP writing; take something mundane and well known from real life (the history of royal inbreeding) and logically lay out how insane and horrific it could become in a world with magic and anomalies. The excellent writing and clever association with the Aristocrats joke really set this one apart.
This was such a fascinating one, and there are so many cool ideas here. The way the aristocrats are described is wonderfully horrifying, disgusting, and awful, and they have a great air of mystery around them! Its also really cool that they arent necessarily evil(well maybe?), they just are born and breed to be the way they are. Theyre still somewhat human, and that makes is all the more horrifying. A great scp overall!
I’ve tried to make a joke comment about them being ‘Drow rednecks’ three times now, and they’ve all disappeared. Am I crazy, or is YT actually *that* bad? Edit: Nope, not crazy. Huh. Maybe YT censors were the real Aristocrats all along.
This is probably my most recently-discovered favorite SCP. A great mix of creepy creature design, chilling relation to real history, and gross-out horror
a friend of mine is slightly related to to the habsburg family. one of them had a short relationship with a maid or something like that and their child is one of his ancestors.
I loved this scp story, its so complete and like an amazing horror trailer with suspense and a complete end story. I would love for Netflix or some subscription channel to actually make a complete series on all these weird scp scenarios and make it gore and crazy. It would be a big hit! This needs to be utilized and discovered!
I always love hearing different takes on known SCPs. This is one I wish there was a followup tale or something to see how the rest of the story plays out once the cat is out of the bag at the end.
I have to say that I love this scp from it origin to its to it horrifying nature ending with its apocalyptic capabilities being a very big problem with the scp soon to break out of there vault this all around is a very interesting scp that I find very unique and terrifying and hop that more lore on them will appear with the foundation going to war with them
"The aristocrats" is a joke I never knew the context of, and I have only heard it once (guess it is not popular in South America) in Helsing Abridged. At the time, I did not even registered it as a joke, but now, years later, wathing a video on an unrelated subject, I finally understand.
Hell yes. This one certainly delivers on its own promise. Can't say the same for a few other, equally ambitious undertakings. Although when are you going to cover the antimemetic division stories, with Marion and later Adam Wheeler trying to take on SCP 3125?? I know you have touched on it somewhat briefly in your antimemetics video but man I would love nothing else than to hear your take on the entire shebang. Which is finally completed. It's my absolute favorite story and SCP concept on the entire wiki, and it needs to be done right for TH-cam. It's practically begging to.
I'd encountered SCP-3288 elsewhere, but had forgotten the Journals of Leopold. I was surprised to hear him refer to his cousin as having 'cretinism', implying that it's the result of chronic inbreeding. 'Cretinism' is a real medical condition, and a 'cretin' (a term almost unheard of today, and often used as a synonym of 'idiot) an old term used to describe a patient born to a mother suffering from hypothyroidism (underactive thyroid)', and who as a result has certain physical and mental disabilities, as well as hypothyroidism in addition. As the treatment is quite simple, giving the patient a daily dose of artificial thyroid hormone, its possible that so-called 'cretins' are no longer born, their mothers being treated for underactive thyroid during pregnancy, Alternatively, the newborn is put on a regimen of hormone that negates the lack of naturally produced hormone.. I myself have an underactive thyroid, a result of an autoimmune condition. I had encountered 'cretinism' and seen a picture of a child with the condition when in my twenties: little did I suspect that just over ten years later I'd develop an autoimmune condition that led to the development of hypothyroidism. As to 'cretinism' I haven't heard of it since then, and even 'cretin; as a substitute for 'idiot' appears to have fallen into disuse.
Do you have Hashimoto's? I have a friend who was diagnosed with hypothyroidism and treated for the wrong condition for like 25 years before they found out she actually had Hashimoto's
@@greefkarga7898 I developed an autoimmune condition after a fall outside my mother-in-law's compound in Accra, Ghana and gashed my leg, the day I arrived there. By the time I got back to the UK, the wound had become infected, though the bacterium involved could not be specifically identified.. A few weeks later, I began showing symptoms of hypothyroidism. There is always the chance that the bacteria from the infection attacked my thyroid gland directly, but my doctors seem to think the damage was dome by an autoimmune response.
From your opening statement onwards, I just had the song "Piggies" by the Beatles in my head! All I can say is I'm disturbed! 👀 ! But Great video, much appreciated, peace from Canada 🙏✌👍
King Leopold: What is your price?
The witch: return the means of production, distribution, and exchange to the community.
King Leopold: BURN THE WITCH!
"They've mastered inbreeding" is not a phrase I thought I would hear today. Or ever. Well done.
Also, "made inbreeding awesome" near the end of the vid.
And you thought skill grinding Stealth to 100 was unpleasant...
Big Bird Galapagos Finches: 👀
@@KyleJordanGaming It gets worse with consecutive generations. The first three or four are probably fine, but it all goes downhill from there.
@@KyleJordanGaming Which game are you referencing?
I think it would be cool to see a video explaining all the different risk-class and End of the World-class scenarios. Some of them sound pretty self-explanatory, but others are quite confusing.
They already did, if memory serves
How do you rate 5000?
@@lostbutfreesoul Almost certainly an XK-class End-of-the-World scenario. 5000 would have resulted in the end of the human race, but not the destruction or fundamental changing of reality itself. XK is very common, relative to the other classes to my knowledge
The SCP site has a list.
@@starwarsnerd100 but it doesn’t have the sweet narration and explanation TES has
Agents: **brutally torn in half and decapitated**.
SCP Foundation: Mission failed successfully.
Half the failed missions are successful some way.
@@emperorrevan6992bruh you did not. 💀
The habsburg family's non anomalous history is already bad enough. The idea of them transmuting themselves into depraved hedonistic cannibal mutants thanks to a few sarkic occult rituals truly makes them all the more horrifying.
Reptiles don't sweat so it lines up.
@@richardhands904 What do reptiles have to do with the Habsburg family?
Or am I missing a joke again.
@@jaymeVos a running joke (that I assumed everyone knew) is the conspiracy that the world elites are shape-shifting lizard people. (you can find multiple low quality edits or "proof" of important leaders and such blinking with a presumably edited in second lizard like eyelid.
@@jaymeVos If there is a joke, Im missing it too.
@@johnnylams3948 I think it's supposed to be a "the government is lizard people" joke.
I've had a theory for a while that this SCP is possibly related to SCP-082, Ferdinand the Cannibal. Ferdinand isn't as ugly or deformed, but maybe he's an exile of this family and the only major birth defect is a bad memory.
My new head cannon
Ty mate :)
I feel like Ferdinand could take alpha the role given he's indestructible. He also loves impersonating nobles. Cross testing could be interesting.
I’ve never considered this! Good theory!
I feel like simple physical description contradicts this theory, Fernand lacks virtually all traits from the aristocrats with eating humans being pretty much the only common traits between the 2 and there is a mountain of other scps that share that trait so not unique by any means.
Or he could be from an older generation, before the inbreeding got too bad.
The tale, "Fit For a King" adds on to the story of SCP-3288. "The Empress" is believed to be located in the Black Forest given her title, The Empress of the Black Forest. However, before the Foundation could gain any clues about her location/wherabouts as well as other hives hidden, the researcher questioning SCP-3288-ALPHA became so disgusted with the entity who started to request for live children. Said researcher disobeyed orders and "slayed the Goblin King".
The Aristocrats is honestly one of the most creepiest SCPs I've ever read. Part of me wishes to see an update/tale with the Foundation finding clues about the Empress. But they could only found an abandoned hive with a note saying the Empress knows about their existence. And ending it with "You can resist me all you can, it makes no difference. You'll all become a part of me"
Wait so there is no more information on the empress?!
@@drblackguymd not that I know of. “Fit For a King” is the only tale that adds on to the SCP. But hopefully, someone writes a new tale about the mysterious empress or updates the SCP file
Then why hasn’t she made a move? The Foundation has completely contained far more unknowable, more powerful entities.
@@2yoyoyo1Unplugged No one knows. Atm, it's considered a blessing she hasn't made a move. Their only lead to her location was killed by one of their researchers. Besides, the Foundation doesn't even know her exact location. They are only asssuming she lives in the Black Forest based on her title. The only way they can find her before the invasion is if they find another nest to interrogate or they find her nest. That's why I hope one day, someone updates this file or adds another tale to this SCP. Even better would be a written separate SCP file that is connected to this one.
Jesus Christ is lord. Seriously, it is all true. Please read at least three books of the Bible. The first book of each testament and one you chose yourself. As you do practice forgiveness. It is literally important-
Mixing Sarkicism and the Habsburgs is an awesome way to show how history is affected by the anomalous .
It also does an amazing job of showing what one deluded person with the motives and means to access the anomalous can make the world an exponentially shittier place to live.
Anyway Ty for this mate your channel will always be my favourite :)
And that's why I don't like the serpent hands because they for some reason don't realize the consequences of letting the every day person know about the anomalous because as soon as they do some monster just waiting to happen wakes up and realizes the thing they can do with that type of crap now I whilst I don't like them doesn't mean I hate them i just think thier shortsighted
@@theenderdestruction2362 I dunno, I've thought about this a lot, and I'm actually not sure if the Foundation keeping knowledge of the anomalous hidden does anything good in this regard, since people with a lot of power and influence (like the Habsburgs) are usually still able to figure out how to access anomalous boons to their horrible plots anyway in-universe (I mean, this is pretty much why MC&D exist), and all them keeping the masses in the dark about everything really accomplishes is assuring they live in blissful ignorance and have absolutely no idea how to handle shit when the Foundation inevitably fails at some point to keep something contained on a major scale (which seems to happen with some frequency in more recent stories, since so many deal with NK Class events nowadays).
Like, maybe the Serpent's Hand are shortsighted in thinking that the anomalous should be completely freed and the Foundation shouldn't even try to contain the really dangerous stuff, but I think they kind of have a point at least about keeping most of humanity ignorant about the true nature of reality (also, the absolutely inhumane way the Foundation often treats anomalous people or living anomalies that are largely harmless, or at least not particularly dangerous, which in a lot of stories is what motivates a lot of people to join the Serpent's Hand in the first place). Like I always tend to think it's better to know what you're truly up against than to live in ignorance and hope someone else will take care of you. Like in the real world, I don't think hiding very real existential threats like nuclear war or climate change would be helpful in the slightest, and while bad people in our world have used knowledge of science and technology to do horrifying things (like build nuclear weapons), I also don't think it would be better to hide science and technology from the masses.
Also, it seems like a significant number of SCP authors at least partly agree with me here, considering out of all the stories where the masquerade is broken in some way (obviously outside of situations where it happens because of a literal apocalypse), more often than not, life seems to go on and the world if anything seems like an overall better place for it (the Foundation being public is anything helpful for their efforts to contain the really scary anomalies, the safe anomalies are freed, and the beneficial ones can now benefit everyone instead of just the O5 council).
Not even an SCP comes close to the sheer, glorious depravity of Gilbert Gottfried's version of the Aristocrats.
Man, he had to break out that oldie goldie because he told a 9/11 joke that the public didn't take well not too long after the event, and it was a good one too, but hey I'm one to creak too soon jokes 😉
Doug Stanhope has also told this joke and both the best and worst version of it.
Bob Saget has a good one as well.
Gottfried had a perfect voice for comedy. I recall John Oliver getting him to read excerpts from a British Act Of Parliament on 'Last Week Tonight' and he managed to make that funny. I have heard his version of 'The Aristocrats' and it's hard to imagine someone topping it.
Gottfried told his joke at the Hugh Hefner roast, which was only 3 weeks after 9/11. Jeff Ross even said to Rob Schneider "Hey Rob, hasn't there already been enough bombs in this city?" much to the oohs and groans of the audience.
Then Gottfried comes out with his Aristocrats joke and immediately lifts the audiences mixed feelings into uproarious laughter.
The render of the king creature gave me nightmares when I saw it in another SCP video.
However I was less scared when I came up with my own containment procedures: lock em up and pump em full of liquid meat (industrial foregoing style) because they get stronger the hungrier they get right?
Some roof slits would be useful too
Tbh the SCP foundation really helps me deal with spooky stuff: the thing that follows you up the stairs when you turn off the light downstairs and run upstairs? Just imagine an MTF busting down the door and shooting it. Thanks
Just hope they don't get too "big-boned".
I still cannot deal with the dark thanks to SCP-078 and SCP-1876...
@@theotherohlourdespadua1131 which ones are those?
@@huxleyleigh4856 Your answer is literally a Google search away.
@@denofpigs2575 “oh hey, here are some cool people who are interested in the same thing I am, I’m going to ask them a question for 1. To get the answer, and 2. Interact with the people who share the same interests as me! People are supposed to share knowledge with each other & it’s supposed to heighten the relationships we can build with others don’t be a dick about somebody not only asking questions but interacting with similar people.
It’s also not that deep. Just don’t be a dick lol
This isn't an SCP this is just the normal Habsburg family.
Jokes aside, the whole article sounds like a joke at first but it's written so competently that it terrifying. Welp that's SCP for ya.
A farcical horror, you mean?
One of Habsburg horrors
I’m guessing this one is supposed to be based off of that “Aristocrats” joke.
@@diamondmetal3062 a remarkable observation. nothing gets past you, Holmes.
"Jokes taken much too far" are some of the best horror SCPs. This, and the Vorehole are great examples.
When I heard Leopold's autopsy I kind of giggled because I know that's the real autopsy and not something the author made up
This was one of the first SCPs I ever read. I've always had a passing interest in the Habsburgs and related stuff, but I really never in a million years expected to hear Mr. Exploring Series read out the quote about Charles II's watery skull and his single, shrunken peppercorn testicle.
The actual journal from Leopold was very well done, though. Really captured the absolute insanity of that mindset.
The Habsburg were a particularly interesting family especially in the 16th and 17th century.
And yet these lunatics ran (still run) the world.
@@MaleusMaleficarum source for this claim, plz.
@@LexYeen 😆
No way. I'd like to keep my head attached
the (very real, or at least, it wasn't made up for this story) description of Charles II's completely fucked up anatomy at death has always haunted me. Like, he was an absolute monarch of a brutal colonial empire and I'm sure was complicit in plenty of horrible things, but I also can't help but feel pretty bad for him, too. He basically got screwed over because his family was afraid if they didn't keep only procreating with their close relatives they'd get usurped somehow, and because of it his entire life was probably one of nothing but horrific agony and confusion. I'm assuming the autopsy report was probably not 100% accurate (or maybe they waited too long after he died to do it or something), considering I'm pretty sure no human being can have "not a single drop of blood", but if it's even partly true, he must've had so many things wrong with him by the time he died.
Wouldn't mind seeing 682 actually meeting these guys for once. Knowing it's total distain for life in general, it would probably find them especially repugnant.
Or it would form an alliance with them.
@@sabersky1134 I rather thing it would just kill them
I don't think they'd be nihilistic enough for 682 to empathize with them, like they care way too much about cannibalism (well, sort of, I guess they're not exactly human, but you know what I mean), incest, and glorious absolute monarchy, the reptile only vibes with entities like 3125, beings that solely exist to destroy life and nothing else. Plus, I think these things would still be too close to humanity for 682's tastes.
@@vanessaashford9203 there was 3225 682 interaction?
@@Ake-TL oh yeah I forget the number of the SCP, but it's the one where the Foundation creates some god-like AI to erase a concept from the noosphere completely, but it ends backfiring badly and instead the AI just becomes extremely hostile and indestructible, and the Foundation can't even remember why because the reason they created it in the first place has been erased from their memories. (*Spoilers* form this point on if you actually want to read or learn about the whole thing, it was covered on this channel a number of months back)...
...the thing they erased all knowledge of from the noosphere with the AI was actually 682, it was their latest failed effort to destroy it once and for all, because even though everything about 682 as a concept was expunged from reality itself, the AI still retained knowledge of 682 out of necessity, and thus it effectively became the last conceptual manifestation of 682 itself, taking on its mindset and unkillable properties, while the entire Foundation can't even remember that 682 ever existed, nor why the AI did for that matter, which obviously leads to major problems. Apparently 682 also found 3225 while outside the noosphere, and the two formed an alliance due to their mutual hatred for basically everything, making the god-like AI which is the last thing tying 682 to our reality that much more dangerous.
For a second, just a second, I thought this was going to be a 45 minute telling of the joke and I'm not gonna lie, I was so ready for it.
"What the hell do you even call an SCP like that?"
"The Aristocrats!"
I love learning about SCPs I hadn't discovered yet, but your reading of Leopold's journal was a special treat, as this is definitely one of my favourite SCP.
This is easily one of my favorite SCP’s and I hope no one takes it the wrong way because I love practically all of your videos but it is nice to get an SCP that isn’t an alternate destroyed timeline or metaphysical or unknowable God every now and then lol
yea, unforntaly its in our "Real world" universe and controls the worlds governments and is the reason for agenda 2030 2050.
True! World end scenarios are fun and all, but I've always enjoyed the more "mundane" ones. Hope he covers the children of the night soon :)
This is probably one of the most covered (top 20 at least) but it's got all the good marks of an scp. Historical references, vaguely supernatural backstory and an element of humor that doesn't subtract from the horror.
This SCP is definitely one of my top 5 SCPs, is good seeing it being covered with your cool narration
Same, it was so cool to hear the whole thing. Made a good bed time story lol, one of the first to scare me a little in a long time
This really does feel like where the Hapsburgs were going. The "Hapsburg Jaw" indeed.
So Tararre was absolutely one of these creatures. It almost seems like they based the description of them off of him.
They're more based off of an exaggeration of the actual appearance of the later members of the Habsburg line, who developed a lot of very visible inbreeding-related deformities, including a type of prognathism so distinctive that it became known as the "Habsburg jaw". Plus, Tarrare was described as having a very indifferent, flat demeanor, which doesn't quite seem in line with these guys and their boisterous love of decadence and intrafamilial orgies. He also was just some random French peasant rather than a descendant of a major royal line. Tarrare would make a really good SCP, though, to the point where I'd almost be surprised if there wasn't one based off of him already.
@@vanessaashford9203 I was going more for the whole enormous maul and people eating thing but I won't slide away from a history lesson.
God, I hadn’t thought of that.
"Inbreeding is pathway to many abilities some consider to be unnatural."
"To make inbreeding awesome" is such a funny line to me
In so many of these SCP entries and articles, I find Echoes of HP Lovecraft. This particular entry reminds me of the lurking fear. A story about a family of insular back woods types who begins to interbreed and devolve into monsters. Also present are whispers of "The Case of Charles Dexter Ward" about the infamously long-lived alchemist. As well as a small nod to the family of evil portent known as De la Pour in "The Rats in the Walls."
The Case of Charles Dexter Ward is one of Lovecraft’s finest and most underrated works. #ChangeMyMind
@@KyleJordanGaming except it isn't underrated and I have never met a fan of Lovecraft that thinks it is. Lol
@@KyleJordanGaming the thing that makes the case of Charles Dexter Ward a bit of an unknown is its length. Not to mention that it was one of the only pieces of long prose that Lovecraft ever wrote. That coupled with the fact that the verb is used is so over the top of most people's heads is reason why is it isn't better known. Lovecraft himself wasn't truly proud of the peace, even though it is a work of genius.
Vaguely astounded that I've lived my entire life in the internet (filth) age and it was this channel that introduced me to the Aristocrats joke. Great SCP from a disgusting inspiration. Wonderful narration as always!
Ever watch Hellsing abridged? It has one of the best uses of the joke.
Fun fact That joke got it's own all-star cast documentary
American media no longer produces comedy.
@@MaleusMaleficarum ok zoomer
@@grilledleeks6514 sorry to disappoint.. I'm at the tail end of Gen X.
That witch could have survived if she hadn't asked for her payment in Leopold giving the wealth and land of his kingdom to the people. She wasn't wrong in asking that but she could gave guessed what was going to happen next considering the lengths dude was going to keep his royal Alabama bloodline
Best part of every Sunday night before going back to work is knowing I’ve got a brand new SCP video to fall asleep to. You’re the best man!
The perfect cap to the weekend.😊
I get the in Monday afternoon to listen to on my way home from work
Fall asleep to? How does this horror make you fall asleep?
Imagine,in my timezone,i have the video monday morining.I wake up,boom,video.
@@jimflores9098 it's less the content and more the tone of his words it's calming
That dude who exploded the grenade should get the foundation star posthumously.
What an absolutely amazing bookend. Using the aristocrats joke finisher. Beautifully done
I was listening to this on a bus. At the 15 minute mark about a bell tolling an actual church bell went off near me. I thought I was going crazy
One of my favorite SCPs due to its mixture of history, horror, and light nods to the overarching elements of the SCP mythos, in this case sarkicism.
WAIT, STOP! HOLD ON!
(Goes and makes popcorn.)
Okay, go on!
ALL RIGHT, FINALLY, this is one of my favorite SCPs.
You know, I think the Foundation may be over-worried. The photosensitivity makes the Aristocrats a significantly lesser threat.
Half of all time takes place in the night, and there’s absolutely no telling exactly how many of them exist or how widespread they are, especially given their high fertility rates, rapid growth, and new, disgusting means of “spreading their bloodline”. It’s better to be overly cautious and prepared for the worst than lax and unprepared in general, but especially with a species like this, when you don’t have all of the info necessary to launch an assault.
Right up until "When Day Breaks"...
The flesh will swallow them and the sun and moon light will also cancel out their anomalous properties
While i love the more fantastical aspect of the scp universe like the fae and children of the night, a return to more classical body horror and killing/containing it through superior firepower is quite welcome
"...The Doctor is taken aback at the suggestion, and tells the entity that their customs differ *greatly.*" I'm dying XDDD
the voice acting is phenomenal 🙌 the rage at 33:38 is just chef's kiss, dude really put his whole explussy into it
explussy 😭😭
Ah starting with that joke, very well done TES.
If there was ever a bloodline that would spawn an SCP it would be that genetic Chernobyl of a bloodline known as the Habsburgs
I like the change in cadence for the verbatim part. Very atmospheric with the background noise and all
"Leopold I ended up meeting a witch and basically used her incredible magic powers to try to make inbreeding awesome." - Only in the SCP universe would a line like this make sense.
"and basically used her incredible magical powers.. to try to make inbreeding awesome."
aight. go on.
Wow, TES, that was a very emotional verbatim reading of Leopold's letters.
33:36 The "demanded. DEMANDED!" part caught me off guard in a very good way! Great job, TES!
This is one of my fave SCPs, glad to see your take on it!
"The more to eat you with, my dear."
Glad to see you covering this Skip. It's been one of my top 10 faves ever since Volgun covered it a while back. It's such peak SCP writing; take something mundane and well known from real life (the history of royal inbreeding) and logically lay out how insane and horrific it could become in a world with magic and anomalies. The excellent writing and clever association with the Aristocrats joke really set this one apart.
as soon as an aristocratic family and grossly oversized, deformed jaws were mentioned, I knew this would be about the Habsburgs somehow
God bless MetaPhysician. This is one of my all-time favorites.
I've been waiting and hoping for so long that you would cover this one!!!
This was such a fascinating one, and there are so many cool ideas here. The way the aristocrats are described is wonderfully horrifying, disgusting, and awful, and they have a great air of mystery around them! Its also really cool that they arent necessarily evil(well maybe?), they just are born and breed to be the way they are. Theyre still somewhat human, and that makes is all the more horrifying. A great scp overall!
This scp is one of my personal favourites. I used a bunch of them in a campaign I used to run
I’ve tried to make a joke comment about them being ‘Drow rednecks’ three times now, and they’ve all disappeared. Am I crazy, or is YT actually *that* bad?
Edit: Nope, not crazy. Huh. Maybe YT censors were the real Aristocrats all along.
Thanks!
And the award for the most elaborate Aristocrats joke goes to...
The journal reading was really good, loved the emotion you put into it!
One of the best. Nice to see you covering it.
I've watched almost all of ur scp videos and you are by far my favorite scp/adio book channels ever!!! Keep it up!
The explaining of the aristocrat joke on his monotonous voice is the cherry on top. Lmao
This is probably my most recently-discovered favorite SCP. A great mix of creepy creature design, chilling relation to real history, and gross-out horror
Your videos make my night shifts a little more bearable, cheers!
Mine too
One of my favourite scp. Gross and scary at the same time with cool twists.
a friend of mine is slightly related to to the habsburg family. one of them had a short relationship with a maid or something like that and their child is one of his ancestors.
I loved this scp story, its so complete and like an amazing horror trailer with suspense and a complete end story. I would love for Netflix or some subscription channel to actually make a complete series on all these weird scp scenarios and make it gore and crazy. It would be a big hit! This needs to be utilized and discovered!
Can't help but wonder if this SCP wasn't inspired by the Morlocks and the Eloi. Big difference is, humans tend to fight back, and brutally so.
I always love hearing different takes on known SCPs. This is one I wish there was a followup tale or something to see how the rest of the story plays out once the cat is out of the bag at the end.
"In the Black Forrest... with operatives suffering minor casualties"
Define Minor - about 100 or so dead.
O5: D class personnel stands for Dead Personnel so not issue here
Mannnnn you saved me from insomnia . I’ve been hoping this one would come out .
Stepsis, no! Our family has enough teeth
Genetically speaking that would be a blessing.
Now "Twin let's keep the genes in the family" on the other hand....
Your acting as Leopold was genuinely amazing in this one. Great job!
EAT. THE. RIC... uh... wait... maybe we should * gulp * just... um... * wretch * isolate... them? * barfs *
This actually one of my favorite scps. It's up there with scp 5000 and When Day Breaks
All French Foundation personnel immediately start trying to terminate SCP-3288.
you have no idea how much i look forward to this every weekend
I just binge watch all of your videos when I just want to fall asleep
Oh hey! This was the first SCP I ever experienced! Glad to do so again, with more of the details fleshed out (pun intended)!
My favourite SCP! Greetings from Vienna :)
This is one of my favorite scps. I love the art you chose for it. Thanks!
Just got home from work to this. Much need sleep talk
Fantastic reading of the journal TES! I could almost feel the rage, contempt and sense of superiority from the founding aristocrat.
Literally been hoping you would cover this so badly, thank you TES! Giving me great content to listen to at work 🙏🏼
This is one of the SCP's that I wouldn't mind the GOC "helping" with. sm
I have to say that I love this scp from it origin to its to it horrifying nature ending with its apocalyptic capabilities being a very big problem with the scp soon to break out of there vault this all around is a very interesting scp that I find very unique and terrifying and hop that more lore on them will appear with the foundation going to war with them
"The aristocrats" is a joke I never knew the context of, and I have only heard it once (guess it is not popular in South America) in Helsing Abridged. At the time, I did not even registered it as a joke, but now, years later, wathing a video on an unrelated subject, I finally understand.
"...and he tried to make inbreeding awesome"
Make me spit out my coffee why don't ya? My god what a summary
My talent is sensing new exploring scp video uploads and watching them
The line about Max's eyes being too big for its stomach was funnier than the Aristocrats joke has ever been to me.
SCP-3288 and SCP-1788 meshing together would truly be a sight to behold...
Are you trying to get us all killed?!
Hell yes. This one certainly delivers on its own promise. Can't say the same for a few other, equally ambitious undertakings.
Although when are you going to cover the antimemetic division stories, with Marion and later Adam Wheeler trying to take on SCP 3125?? I know you have touched on it somewhat briefly in your antimemetics video but man I would love nothing else than to hear your take on the entire shebang. Which is finally completed. It's my absolute favorite story and SCP concept on the entire wiki, and it needs to be done right for TH-cam. It's practically begging to.
Very nice, keep up the good work!
I'd encountered SCP-3288 elsewhere, but had forgotten the Journals of Leopold. I was surprised to hear him refer to his cousin as having 'cretinism', implying that it's the result of chronic inbreeding.
'Cretinism' is a real medical condition, and a 'cretin' (a term almost unheard of today, and often used as a synonym of 'idiot) an old term used to describe a patient born to a mother suffering from hypothyroidism (underactive thyroid)', and who as a result has certain physical and mental disabilities, as well as hypothyroidism in addition. As the treatment is quite simple, giving the patient a daily dose of artificial thyroid hormone, its possible that so-called 'cretins' are no longer born, their mothers being treated for underactive thyroid during pregnancy, Alternatively, the newborn is put on a regimen of hormone that negates the lack of naturally produced hormone.. I myself have an underactive thyroid, a result of an autoimmune condition. I had encountered 'cretinism' and seen a picture of a child with the condition when in my twenties: little did I suspect that just over ten years later I'd develop an autoimmune condition that led to the development of hypothyroidism. As to 'cretinism' I haven't heard of it since then, and even 'cretin; as a substitute for 'idiot' appears to have fallen into disuse.
It’s pronounced cre-e-tin, if you’re gonna insult me do it properly.
You dont contract autoimmune diseases.
@@greefkarga7898 AIDS says hi
Do you have Hashimoto's? I have a friend who was diagnosed with hypothyroidism and treated for the wrong condition for like 25 years before they found out she actually had Hashimoto's
@@greefkarga7898 I developed an autoimmune condition after a fall outside my mother-in-law's compound in Accra, Ghana and gashed my leg, the day I arrived there. By the time I got back to the UK, the wound had become infected, though the bacterium involved could not be specifically identified.. A few weeks later, I began showing symptoms of hypothyroidism. There is always the chance that the bacteria from the infection attacked my thyroid gland directly, but my doctors seem to think the damage was dome by an autoimmune response.
“Stop me if you’ve heard this one before: a man walks into a talent agency-”
*Me getting flashbacks to 3999:*
From your opening statement onwards, I just had the song "Piggies" by the Beatles in my head! All I can say is I'm disturbed! 👀 ! But Great video, much appreciated, peace from Canada 🙏✌👍
The aristocrats is my personal favorite scps, awesome video!
“Too Many Teeth” to the tune of Too Many Cooks
hittin extra hard after Thursday, September 8th, 2022
Love the stand up lore bits, please add more lore chunks spattered about messily. Pip pip cheerio.
You’re videos are by far my favourite scp vids out there
This would make a great horror movie.
Sweet, one of my favorite SCPs.
I love to listen to your vid's while I try to sleep
at night. Keep up the amazing work
Idk if listening to creepy SCP videos while you fall asleep would give you nightmares
As usual, I'm sure this video is gonna be excellent. What a great way to spend my time poopin'. 😎
Watch out, though, these SCPs come from the sewers.
You’re such a great narrator man.
Keep it up 👍🏻