After 2 visits to Patong Beach this year, I have 8 Thai friends who keep in touch with me. I found out that whenever the conversation is light and positive, they are open and communicative. As soon as a conflict is introduced, they say "forget about it" and shut down. In the States I was taught that we work out our differences, which is avoided at all costs to Thailand. I had to learn to self edit during conversations to prevent hurting their feelings. The other thing that gets me is how in dating situations, the Thai guys get very submissive. It's hard to get them to express feelings. It's like dating women.
Thai culture is extremely authoritative and top-down through and through in all social levels. I'm not defending the Thais, but all their lives, talking and compromising aren't just a part of. People with more power than them always get all. Government can pass any law. The civil servants must be bribed to get things done. Their teachers can hit and tell them to do whatever or else they get flunked or expelled. Their bosses and their parents.. same. So they develop no skills in working things out together. I'd argue that you are in the better positiion despite this frustration though. Say, if they feel they have more power in the relationship, it'd be like in the video, they can have "gigs" but not you. You must help their family, or lese et cetera....
Very interesting. I'm a local guy. Regarding the pressure to have someone even if you are gay, in part, I think it's because of our economic social structure that's fragile. If you fall down, there's no government infrastructure to to catch you. Social security is minimal and most people don't have it. State health insurance, most people don't have it. So this uncertainty sort of is ingrained into those who care about you and wish that you have someone to take care of you.
I have lived in Thailand for 15 years and have been with my Thai husband for 17 years. Much of what was discussed in generally true I find even though I have never dated in Thailand. We met in America and later moved to Thailand.
Interesting topic, would like it to have been deeper. As a British person, I have been dating a Thai guy for over six years. I can relate to some things that were spoken about. Communication is key because many misunderstandings can occur due to mis-communication. One of my biggest lessons was in the area 'of saving face', and to feel the results of 'losing face' was quite a shocker. Needless to say that I ensure that type of scenario is avoided. After all this time, I am still learning, but making more headway the more time that we are together. He is the 'husband', and I am the wife, meaning that giving him 'advice' is better than trying to give him 'commands'.
Interesting but a little on the light side as there is so much more you could talk about on this subject. The family thing is very true even for gays. The main concern of the family is that you are not alone and have someone to grow old with and share with. They usually prefer (although they would never admit it out loud) that their son be with a guy rather than alone…although if they had a choice they would prefer he choose a girl. The age gap issue is also very special in Thailand, where an important gap will be accepted if it means being with someone who has the means to ensure their son’s wellbeing. I have been welcomed more than once with a boyfriend 40 years younger than me when we visited his family, and the reception was always friendly when they knew their son was gay. I frankly found it a bit uncomfortable but it was clear to me that they preferred a much older “friend” to take care of their son, and probably the family too, than seeing their son with no close relationship and difficult financial prospects. Everything in Thailand is based on give and take, even love: nothing is totally free. So older men taking care of younger men remains an option even if the exchange is based on providing a semblance of affection on one side and financial security from the other side, and the whole family will usually go along with it with those great smiles Thais are famous for…although you never know what they are really thinking… The same applies with two guys with little age gap, although the family will always want to know what their character and financial situation is on the long term.
i started watching BL bc where im from all the media is all about the “struggles of coming out” and bls theyre just together, theres no stress about the coming out phase (generally). And then, watching it, i realized how it seemed so different from what the queer dating scene is in brasil. I remember i saw a couple of actors talking about how one sees other people and the other was mad about it but somehow it seemed like cheating allegations. Its was probably the case you guys were talking about, how one is allowed to have multiple partners and the other isnt. I mean ive known about open relationships but this one it seems like it works in a different way. 😮
I got to this point of supporting gay male couples here on TH-cam, especially those from my birth country, because of discovering BLs and subsequently discovering that many were sharing their relationships here. However, I really don't watch BLs anymore. Mainly because of the crazy fans and certain countries where the BL industry (Thai mainly) push couples, some which have a very young person. I'll watch BLs where the men are 25+ years old minimum. That's just my comfort zone.
Episode 14 was removed by TH-cam due to an alleged violation of their guidelines, but you can still watch it exclusively on our Patreon: www.patreon.com/DearStraightPeople
If the Thai guy has a very healthy relationship and dependent still with the family, yes they will put family first. If not and independent, then they won’t put that much emphasis on their families first. What he says are kinda half true.
first of all, you can't lose your face, it's more like you lose your mask. That's what most people are afraid of, and it's true that whoever marries a Thai also marries his family, that's usually the case...... and another warning for everyone: Don't take a Thai's cell phone away, or his access to Tik Tok, he'll turn into a monster in seconds... and if you're unlucky he'll die in a few days... because of the loss 555555
I pray for all homosexuals and for all people practicing immoral lascivious behaviors. I pray that they will know the love of Jesus Christ as Lord and Saviour
After 2 visits to Patong Beach this year, I have 8 Thai friends who keep in touch with me. I found out that whenever the conversation is light and positive, they are open and communicative. As soon as a conflict is introduced, they say "forget about it" and shut down. In the States I was taught that we work out our differences, which is avoided at all costs to Thailand. I had to learn to self edit during conversations to prevent hurting their feelings. The other thing that gets me is how in dating situations, the Thai guys get very submissive. It's hard to get them to express feelings. It's like dating women.
That's interesting hehe
Thai culture is extremely authoritative and top-down through and through in all social levels. I'm not defending the Thais, but all their lives, talking and compromising aren't just a part of. People with more power than them always get all. Government can pass any law. The civil servants must be bribed to get things done. Their teachers can hit and tell them to do whatever or else they get flunked or expelled. Their bosses and their parents.. same. So they develop no skills in working things out together.
I'd argue that you are in the better positiion despite this frustration though. Say, if they feel they have more power in the relationship, it'd be like in the video, they can have "gigs" but not you. You must help their family, or lese et cetera....
Very interesting. I'm a local guy.
Regarding the pressure to have someone even if you are gay, in part, I think it's because of our economic social structure that's fragile. If you fall down, there's no government infrastructure to to catch you. Social security is minimal and most people don't have it. State health insurance, most people don't have it. So this uncertainty sort of is ingrained into those who care about you and wish that you have someone to take care of you.
I have lived in Thailand for 15 years and have been with my Thai husband for 17 years. Much of what was discussed in generally true I find even though I have never dated in Thailand. We met in America and later moved to Thailand.
Interesting topic, would like it to have been deeper. As a British person, I have been dating a Thai guy for over six years. I can relate to some things that were spoken about. Communication is key because many misunderstandings can occur due to mis-communication. One of my biggest lessons was in the area 'of saving face', and to feel the results of 'losing face' was quite a shocker. Needless to say that I ensure that type of scenario is avoided. After all this time, I am still learning, but making more headway the more time that we are together. He is the 'husband', and I am the wife, meaning that giving him 'advice' is better than trying to give him 'commands'.
Loved this Episode. Really Informative abut questions i had about Thai Guys, Thanks!!
Interesting but a little on the light side as there is so much more you could talk about on this subject. The family thing is very true even for gays. The main concern of the family is that you are not alone and have someone to grow old with and share with. They usually prefer (although they would never admit it out loud) that their son be with a guy rather than alone…although if they had a choice they would prefer he choose a girl. The age gap issue is also very special in Thailand, where an important gap will be accepted if it means being with someone who has the means to ensure their son’s wellbeing. I have been welcomed more than once with a boyfriend 40 years younger than me when we visited his family, and the reception was always friendly when they knew their son was gay. I frankly found it a bit uncomfortable but it was clear to me that they preferred a much older “friend” to take care of their son, and probably the family too, than seeing their son with no close relationship and difficult financial prospects. Everything in Thailand is based on give and take, even love: nothing is totally free. So older men taking care of younger men remains an option even if the exchange is based on providing a semblance of affection on one side and financial security from the other side, and the whole family will usually go along with it with those great smiles Thais are famous for…although you never know what they are really thinking… The same applies with two guys with little age gap, although the family will always want to know what their character and financial situation is on the long term.
I feel like the comments are little bit more informative than the video, maybe you guys can go in deeper and maybe with more viewpoints.
i started watching BL bc where im from all the media is all about the “struggles of coming out” and bls theyre just together, theres no stress about the coming out phase (generally). And then, watching it, i realized how it seemed so different from what the queer dating scene is in brasil.
I remember i saw a couple of actors talking about how one sees other people and the other was mad about it but somehow it seemed like cheating allegations. Its was probably the case you guys were talking about, how one is allowed to have multiple partners and the other isnt.
I mean ive known about open relationships but this one it seems like it works in a different way. 😮
I got to this point of supporting gay male couples here on TH-cam, especially those from my birth country, because of discovering BLs and subsequently discovering that many were sharing their relationships here. However, I really don't watch BLs anymore. Mainly because of the crazy fans and certain countries where the BL industry (Thai mainly) push couples, some which have a very young person. I'll watch BLs where the men are 25+ years old minimum. That's just my comfort zone.
Thai BL series are blooming at a crazy pace and I still have a long list which I have yet to watch! 😅😅
Thank you very much... i do understand my Thai boyfriend much better now :)
what ever happened to “episode 14”? was that skipped over or something?
Episode 14 was removed by TH-cam due to an alleged violation of their guidelines, but you can still watch it exclusively on our Patreon: www.patreon.com/DearStraightPeople
If the Thai guy has a very healthy relationship and dependent still with the family, yes they will put family first.
If not and independent, then they won’t put that much emphasis on their families first.
What he says are kinda half true.
Are you Chinese? You look 100% Chinese.
What’s the tea with the famous guy in the thumbnail?
first of all, you can't lose your face, it's more like you lose your mask. That's what most people are afraid of, and it's true that whoever marries a Thai also marries his family, that's usually the case...... and another warning for everyone:
Don't take a Thai's cell phone away, or his access to Tik Tok, he'll turn into a monster in seconds... and if you're unlucky he'll die in a few days... because of the loss 555555
What about gay dating life for attractive people? I would love their opinion on it.
to the older guy with the silly tattoos - give up it's over.
I pray for all homosexuals and for all people practicing immoral lascivious behaviors. I pray that they will know the love of Jesus Christ as Lord and Saviour