❤ exactly! In these times it seems more and more women are willing to do the work on all fronts. Also there's a abuse of Power when women used to count on men. There's absolutely nothing with having your own, but some dudes in this time are interested in living and eating off your destiny. There's good men out there but it seems not enough to the point where we are doing the work. Imagine a world with more Prestonsmiles and Sacred Thomas. We would appreciate it and operate in more peace and feminine innergy. Women are taken for granted in this world especially by most black guys because they feel we are a dime a dozen, and disposal to them. I have a great relationship with the men in my life and they don't abuse women, but there are predators out here and narcissist behavior. More grown boys need to commit to healing and doing there jobs so we can both be balanced. Where are the men able to hold space for the tired woman?? 🤷♀️🤷🏾
Yes *sigh to this lol because as I sit here (lay down really) in exhaustion from a horrifically abusive relationship. I'm just like, I would like to be able to work again. He hurt me... not physically but it hurt me physically aka my health.
The problem isn't wanting these things...the problem is being able to find the right person to provide these things for you... often times women enter relationships that bring them down instead of uplifting them. A man can provide financially and still bring you down. Which is why women choose to pursue an independent lifestyle in the first place.
I am not tired of all these things, I actually love fixing things in my home and working with tools, and nobody looks over my shoulder and belittles me for everything I do.
@@thecanary4238I disagree. Personally, I’ve been with or dated almost every type of man. Either on my same level or above in the financial category, kid/s and no kid/s, all intellectual in their own right with a great skill set of some sort. Own or rent their home. And they all seem the same to me to one degree or another.🫤
@@thecanary4238 I don't have a particular type. I am not attracted to bad boys. I always liked musicians, but will never date one again. I do seem to attract narcissists. That is extremely common in empaths. Everything is an act with narcs, for as long as they can hold the mask. Satan has unleashed his minions, and there doesn't seem to be many choices. Even the ones that aren't narcs, seem to lie, or have porn addiction. This is how men usually operate. My current choice is to be single. I do take responsibility for whom I chose, but it's not like I knew who they actually were, any time close to the beginning. I've dated a couple nice guys too, but our spiritual beliefs clashed.
Once burnt, you will never ever put your happiness in the hands of a man. This is how these women are built. Of course we want to be held and supported, but we all know too well, if you put your faith in a man, you might have nothing in the end. 😢
Girlllaaa aint no man coming to save us😂my homegirls, auntie, mama, sis etc. Thats my ROCK...Yall better act like yall know shiid! I poured into and invested into the sisterhood and the returns are well worth it❤❤❤Kepp ya head up ladies.
I call the ladies in my life "the Village ". The village is and has always had my best interest at heart. My sister and mom are my best friends. I wont trade that for no hug❤
EXXACTLYY 💯 the fantasy of some man coming to save us is just that- a delusional fantasy and believing it is how women get played and fall for sweet nothings and future promising once a booga does come along smdhh
No Ladies You Must Take The Time .Go Skating,Biking Or Take An Dance/ Pilates Class., Swimming.Self Defence Class.,Sewing Or Cooking .There Is So Much You Can Do .Wine Classes.❤Love Your Selve More Than Look In The Mirror And 💐Your Self .And Ask The Universe And You Will Meet Your Friend & Protector.But You Have To Look Out For Him Too .💜💞.Much Love & Success In Your Endeavors..Peace😔🌟🦋.
Agreed! These women that are pushing this “a man take the lead” aspect seem to be confusing things… being held don’t pay no dam bills and how is it healthy to have a man take on the burden of the bills while i relax as his significant other or wife??? I’m glad i tune this bs out bcse it’s full of sh!t and holes…
I’m not tired. Bills are a constant in life in some form or fashion. What EXHAUSTS me, is having to worry about a man’s mood changing or cooking for him or waiting for him to plan something. I’m enjoying “dating” myself and doing what I want to do, without worrying about how much it costs or sacrificing my time doing bare minimum. I love it here.❤
Exactly. I don’t know why men think that we need them so much. It would be nice, but it’s not a priority. I saw something earlier that said if you are a middle-aged female and single, it’s your fault. 😂😂😂 Yeah, it’s definitely my “fault” because my standards are incredibly high (in all honesty, not really… But by today’s standards) and my boundaries are uncrossable.
And when I say high standards, I’m not talking about how much money you have or any nonsense like that. I’m saying that you should be kind, compassionate, empathic, trustworthy and able to be vulnerable under the right circumstances. I don’t even care if you open the damn door for me. It would be nice, and I will probably ask you to in the future if you don’t, but that’s not what I’m saying. Those are petty, surface level things that can be easily corrected. I’m talking about what’s in your heart.
As a married woman, when your find the right man life doesn't feel like a burden. Being in a room with them feels like the warmest softest bed, it feels like true selflessness, like a joke that makes your laugh uncontrollably. True love hits different.
@saraaaf That is a true blessing, and I am happy for you. The thing is marriage and relationships are work- with the right person. And there are many wolves in sheep's clothing..making this divorced mama feel like I can be happy figuring life out single. The basic standards of loyalty and compassion are harder to come by. If it comes would be nice, but if not im thankful and happy for what and who i have in my life.
Facts,bills are always going to be there. I have been happy single, married very young,widowed very young ,dated a couple of dusties after hubby died. I have always been better off financially single. A lot of men bring debt,bad spending habits to the table when you get with them.And it goes both ways I know,women do it to, except the men in my life have always had this ultra macho attitude about knowing what's best,don't question me attitude. Only for me to find out they spent bill money on BS and I had to cover it. I would rather be tired from working a lot to take care of me and my daughter then be exhausted from dealing with a irresponsible, arrogant man who is whiny,needy, complaining.Now that is soul crushing exhausting.If you are the strong one in the relationship it's best to stay single until you truly meet someone who is on the same level as you.Since becoming a widow,i have bought my own house,nice car finally, after two decades of driving pieces of crap,going back to college,and money to spare.Nope i like the piece of mind i have now.
I just don’t think life is so simple. Because men don’t just arrive to save the day, they come with their own traumas, burdens and expectations. They are really stressful.
Also these days men are really pampered and act like princesses. They want women to pick the tab, hold the door open for them.. and also clean the house wash their socks. It's not about women relinquishing independence or control. Yeah we can ask women to quit their jobs, stay home and run around doing domestic stuff all day. But is the man going to work twice as hard to provide? If you trust a man with a task, 90% of the time it's not done when it's supposed to be. This is why women pick their kids from school, take the kids to appointments, plan the birthdays, Christmas etc even while working stressful full-time jobs. Men also have gotten comfortable not being the breadwinner. Men these days are used to the wife running off to work while also taking care of the kids, doing the chores, fixing dinner, laundry. It's such a good deal where they get off work and watch tv while the wife does the parenting and responsibilities. Now even if women want to be held.. men are way too curled up in feminine energy to be the rock for the family.
And to be honest… what we don’t hear is men have been wanting to be held and supported as well. Both sexes possess feminine and masculine energy. It’s a crisis that is impacting us all, such that both sexed are unable to readily access the feminine energy bc it’s been under attack for generations. Let’s just be clear and honest. And that is due to the patriarchal society we live in. It has been toxic for us both.
I grew up with a father who was emotionally, physically, verbally and financially abusive. I wasn't going to risk experiencing that in my adulthood. I chose to remain single and childfree, even forgoing romantic relationships. I'm living in peace and prosperity and wouldn't have it any other way. I actually feel spoiled. 😌😌😌
You don't deserve to live like that because of your past. There's a lot of good people out there, good men who will love you the way you deserve to be loved. Don't give up hope.
And I as a mom that was verbally, mentally and emotionally abusive to me and my dad let I choose to be loving and supportive yet my past relationships ended because most women can't stop living in past relationships and I'm punished for what other men done.
You will be less tired doing all that for yourself than doing all that AND dealing with a man who is resentful you can do all of that. A lot of men have become just as dramatic as a lot of women. Ain't no one got time for that
Well men feel the same, we can build more and have peace and enjoyment in life without a woman that may try to make us loose it all. Can't we find common ground and work together instead of be at war
The problem is not that we don’t want to be soft and taken care of. The problem is that SOME men have abandoned their positions, leaving us to fend for ourselves.
Notice that she said most most women raised their hands when asked if they were independent, but ALL women raised their hands when asked if they were tired. We live in a world that is not safe enough for us to relinguish power because they dont have the support around them.
@@nataliamartin6411 now i wish your thoughts were hers bcse the way she’s coming off to me is that women are choosing to not relinquish their power and should allow the men to have this power which isn’t realistic at all.
I tried to relinquish my independence in relationships, even asked for assistance in lifting some of the weight so I could breathe for a minute. The response was devastating. They mistook my need for relief for me being weak and tried to diminish me to the level of the needy women they dealt with in the past. Moving forward, when I’m tired, I rest, restore and replenish. The man God has for me will have the sight to “see” where the burden is and the “muscle”, both mentally and physically, to lift it without being asked to do so.
@@sophiyahsunflower7259 I felt the trickery at first but after some time and deep inner work, I realized that I wasn’t being tricked, I was being tested. I had totally forgot that I prayed and asked God for clarity on him, me, and the relationship but as he slowly but surely provided it, I was prepared but not ready. It hit me hard but I asked, he gave but once he provided the clarity, would I stay or would I go because in all honesty, being closer to him kept me further from God. I understood the assignment and I moved accordingly. How a man “behaves” is between him and God. Who I allow to enter into my life (men, friends, family, and/or foes) is between me and God. If I have to question the behavior, character, integrity, energy, etc. that does not align, it does not align. 🏃🏾♀️
I'm praying for your heart. Not because I've got this help but because I don't. And I hope for you healing. . This post was not useful but I will pray for the ones who understands this post is a joke at our pain. God's got us, family. MANY blessings of favor. In Jesus 👑 mighty name. Not sure if the woman yapping is even a believer of Jesus Christ but God loves YOU. And already knows your heart and it's NEEDS.
This message is giving, women should settle in exchange for a “different” type of tired. You may get financial relief no more than 20-30%, but now you’re tired of lies, cheating and gaslighting. I would rather be 100% exhausted than to EVER experience that type of “tired” again🤷🏽♀️
This lady is acting like women are preventing men from providing. Each time people point out a "strong" woman.. please remember it's because a man has failed her. Women in general don't want to be breadwinners, don't want to be single mothers, don't want to do everything independently. Maybe 10% of women, but most of us don't. As women, we need community, closeness and communication. My girl pals would text me pictures for something simple like buying a new dress or purse. That's just how much we rely and depend on people around us. For a woman to be independent and push that dependence away it just means how much the men have failed her. She'll rather be tired doing everything than to be disappointed, heartbroken and betrayed. I hate that they portray the narrative that women chose this life of being independent so that we can fill up our bank accounts and act bossy. No mam' we're here slogging away because most men can't be relied on.
Also the housework kind of tired when you have a partner and start a family is worse. Giving up "some of your independence" to be held doesn't mean you are going to be allowed to rest. I have an amazing fiancé, he loves me and our son. He does his best to take care of us, but he still doesn't understand the mental load that comes from being the mother in the family. We are all neurodivergent and we are all doing our best, but I'm so tired and I gave up all of my independence for this exhaustion. I would do it again in a heartbeat because that what my son needed, but man would I love the opportunity to just shut off and rest once in a while.
She didn’t ask an important questions: How many are full time mothers? How many are caregivers to an aging parent or child? How many are working and going to school. People get online and act like Independence is fun and games but in alot of cases it’s necessary to do what’s needed to survive. To be truly Independent means not having to depend entirely upon others.
Well said, everything you stated I am not by choice but, sometimes we do what we have to because if we don’t, then who will ? Things won’t get done we can’t sit and feel sorry for ourselves we have to take care of our families and ourselves. Eventually one day I’ll meet the right man who’ll make me feel safe to rest in my femininity and lighten the load but don’t add to it.
My dad raised me to want a man not need one. He taught me everything from working on a car to budgeting money and how to work hard at what I want. To not be afraid to ask for help.... I love my dad. He taught me all of this. But at one point my dad broke that trust when he nearly beat me to death with a steel belt buckle. My drunk stepmom pushed him to do it. I was 8 1/2yrs old. She lied about something she said I did. My dad and I made up much later. I get he made some bad choices. I too ran into similar relationship dynamics as an adult. It damn near killed me at least 3 times. One was an overdose on meth. At that point I ran. I had to run again in 2015 after being strangled to death three times. Ex had everyone thinking I was mental. No one believed. Had my best friend hold my kids for me. I am glad I am free from that nightmare. Clean from meth 18 years now. I am blessed to be alive and here for my children. Yes, I would love to have someone in my life. I'm willing to let someone in again. It will be an old style courtship. I want to know the person first. Get on a level of friendship. Yes, I can do the successful thing on my own. I'm looking for my best friend now. 💜💕🦋🔥👑🔥🦋💕💜
@@ScorpionMaiden75 Wow, it’s so crazy that you often see women deal with men who are a reflection of their fathers. I don’t know why this is; but I’ve even seen this truth in myself. My Father was horrible in so many ways, and because of that, I have to not only severely vet the men I deal with; but also figure out what it is that makes them so attractive to me, and determine whether those reasons connect back to my father.
I’ve struggled with this in the past. Being referred to as an “alpha female” was a badge of honor as a single, strong woman; until I was in my mid 40’s and weary and exhausted from carrying the load, fighting the battles that I had no business stepping into. I was lonely and depressed in a relationship carrying the weight of a man and I regret ever embracing that title. It may have helped me when I was a child (due to trauma), but I am fighting to release its hold of me now. Thank you for sharing.
If it was actually easier to be with a man, most women would really appreciate that. In my experience it is not. It is harder, and more exhausting. The work never ends. You can keep your embrace, I will keep my peace and health. Thanks, but no thanks.
Yes Girl Exactly 💯, I am like "all this for a warm body in the bed" !! Heck no! I can't even begin to tell you!😅 A frickin relationship will have me aging like milk lol.. I happily do it on my own 😊❤
I used to enjoy saying that I am independent. However I no longer use that word, and now I say that I am self sufficient. Because I would love to have a mate that I can have for support. Beautiful post 💚
You are coping hard. You just cannot retain that guy. He has too many options and you were raised in too many situationships. You need to get serious and choose someone at your level .
I've been that strong, independent woman for so long that I've lost sight of the desire for a man...I kinda like it here. Most men are grown little boys, and I no longer have the patience for it. I hope the women who are still looking find their needle in a haystack.
I've been saying it for years, boys will be boys and so will men. They're yelling for women to take accountability but I'm a Christian and the Bible holds men accountable first. But they don't want to hear that.
My ex partner left me and our son. He was the cause of my stress when we used to be together. I may be exhausted working 2 jobs, paying mortgage on my own, being the breadwinner and keeping everything afloat, but my little boy is the one who keeps me going, i have to be this strong independent woman for us. if I want to be held and hugged that would be from my boy, he’s the best and I want to be the best mummy for him❤
@@shirleylynn323thank you, blessings to you! i think im happy to not involve someone new and just focus on good parenting/ breadwinning and protecting my household! 😊
@@nzingahoneyyes mindful of that! Thank u for the kind reminder 😊. I sought my own counselling/ therapy after his dad left. I talk to my closest friends when Im feeling down. I dont like my son see me sad as he will feel it. Then me and my son go on nature pram walks on my days off or go for drives for fresh air and listen to lots of motivational podcasts( i get my exercise too!) Im just grateful that i have this house and car and savings before everything went downhill i bought them before i met his dad. Im just grateful we got the basics and living just enough, some single mums out there are struggling and I pray they get through it too ❤
A woman should always be self reliant. No hatred towards men, just capable and independent. A man can walk away after marriage and baby and Abandon a whole family. Also, People and circumstances change. My dad lost his livelihood in early 2000s, my mom was forced to work 6 days a week to feed 4 young kids and husband. My dad became comfortable however with the set-up and decided to stay at home, it made my mother exhausted and eventually broke their marriage.
No. Society needs to value Mothering and the ethic of care. Tax the richest. They have been accumulating and we need to get our wealth back. Mothers should be paid. It's real work.
No one talks about those of us that are strong and independent because we have no choice. We were put in that situation. Yeah I want to be strong and independent because my survival depends on it. Am I tired yes but I have no choice.
Before I got married I got a house built, had two cars, raising my children, and going to a church I really enjoyed going to. After I got married. Lost my house, cars, and my job behind a man that I should have over looked. Stop going to the church I enjoy going to. Start going to his family's church, dealing with a lot of hypocrisy. Well my husband making decent money now, and now he treats me like a slave. Wow! Women should keep themselves protected from narcissistic behaviors. Now I understood why so many women stays single!!!
Sorry you're in that situation. See how you can get out. As a child of divorce, I wish my parents didn't hold their marriage for me. It broke my reality. And it was a lot of guilt to carry. Set an example for your children. How you see yourself is how they will remember you. If you're strong and successful, they'll see it. If you're being ordered around and your needs are not met, they'll feel it. Do what's best for you so that you can do what's best for them. If your husband is narcissistic, prepare for battle. Never divorce or breakup with those typesnof people without a plan
Ohh no! I’m so sorry I am praying for you! Thanks for sharing your story on the downside of a man with money because that’s a real thing. May God bless you and keep you
@julesa1754 I agree with you.. I dont believe in staying together for the kids. The kids will become acclimated to a toxic environment, and that keeps the generation in a cycle of toxic behavior. Whether that be them accepting toxicity or dishing it out. As a mom I believe in leading by example and not the do as say, not as I do mentality.
I gave up my independence for a man once and it ruined my life.. made me depressed anxious jaded and angry. These days I find myself lonely but the cost of true companionship is more than I can afford. I’m tired but I don’t have the option or the luxury to be vulnerable. It’s sad out here.
absolutely understand u i did the same thing ima hair stylist self employed he was soo insecure so i stopped then after that he did as well he refused to work so jone of use was working 😢 he destroyed my dreams my kids my self esteem my dignity everything controlled me had to be his way or no way had to respect his boudries which were dumb and stupid but didnt follow my boundries then had to financially support his kids that were not even mine 😢it destoryed me that inforgot what i wanted in life after that before he came to the oicture i already knew what i wanted and who i was apon looking the mirror i was like who are you😢 look at what he brought u too thats not love thats a nightmare i was just used and manipulated for his own well being it sucks but the best side is ending that cycle of his game which they dont like and continue to get other victims
They are exploitive and abusive. They need to fight Crapitalist Overlords for better work arrangements but instead cowardly look to take from women because it's easier.
A relationship with God first. Vulnerable with God first. I had a similar experience to how you've described in a relationship before I Met Christ. I know now that was a trauma bond. It won't be the same after Sanctification. He Leads; in Safety, in Truth. He decides. He does everything, really! 😆 Righteously. God Bless
I made myself small, and relinquished to my husband who allowed his family to be evicted 5 days before Xmas! NEVER again without proof he is a worthy man..
We talk about this as if the women, including myself don't want to relinquish or resisting when it's present. However, my husband of 20 yrs. was blessed financially to provide better for me and our 6 children, who are now adults. He asked for a divorced and remarried less than a year later. We are independent because we have to be. I welcome love, but in the 13 years after my divorce, all I'm meeting are sex crazed, controlling men. I'm open and willing to be vulnerable for the right one. I'm praying, at 58 that he will show up, but until then, mama got to do her thing. These types of conversation are needed, but with openness.
A lot of these comments I feel to the depths of my soul…it’s almost bringing me to tears. It wasn’t supposed to be this way…How did it get to this point? It’s a bitter sweet situation.
Lots of prositutes out here acting like women not enough mature women….! Smart men have learnt to go their own way and leave these prostitutes to keep mining for that treasure they love so much.
God is my savior. He is my father. However, the physical touch is not there through God. God has my soul. I thank Him for all of my blessings and I try to learn the lesson I'm being taught through trials and tribulations. But a partner in life is what God wants for you and relinquishing some of that stress and responsibility to a partner is what she is talking about. Not spiritual life.
No revelations made here. Of course we wanna be held, of course we wanna relinquish some of the burden. Most of us dont pretend to enjoy carrying everything on our own, we just do it becasue we need to.
You think you’re safe huh? Well let’s hope that’s true. I get more attention from attached and married men more than single ones. However, you are blessed if it’s real.
I was telling my friend today to not trust any man ever especially with her money and her house. To be safe and look out for number one. She can have a man in her life but to be smart about it.
Has any man ever taken a woman for her home and money? Oh yeah that happens one out of 15 million times. That's an irrational concept. It's like worrying about being hit by a shooting star
Let me show you to the black community. Their men have the highest unemployment rate compared to their counteparts. 😂 So who money are they living off of?
Yes, but which poison are you willing to choose? Waiting and feeling a sense of disappointment because you’re choosing to rely on others or pick up the pieces yourself along with exhaustion because you realize that only you got you? Life’s not fair. Which path are you willing to go towards? Choice is yours.
I agree. The desire for the softness and that emotional and intimate support of a partner is there. However, that desire is very separate from the finding and availability of partners in which it is safe to be so.
As women we all have that soft energy and the desire to be held by a strong masculine. However there are so few masculine men around. Most are fully in their feminine energy, they want to get off work, eat and play videogames. They are constantly forgetting things, unable to help themselves and reliant on women. I've seen men who treat their partners like a servant, secretary and worse. Men these days don't want to provide- they want to whine on the internet, gossip and watch girly shows on Netflix. That leaves women with no choice but to be independent.
Most men DO NOT genuinely support women, making this conversation very misguided. Women’s independence is fundamentally tied to our survival and overall health, as most men prefer dependent women as a means to exert control. This only leads to abusive relationships where security and finances are used as tools of manipulation. Her perspective would be more valid if men were truly selfless, generous, and supportive partners, but unfortunately, that is often not the case. Talk to any older/former stay-at-home mom and you’ll hear the truth about the HELL you get trapped in when you believe that men are your helpers and saviors from stress and hardship. Only women make men’s lives easier. It’s rarely the other way around and I’m sick of these people gaslighting us like we don’t know or deal with men to know better.
Exactly. We dont live in an utopia. Everyone just wanna be "held", longing for a feeling similar to being held by our mothers, the most secure, unconditional love. Such love never happens again. You need to be independant so that you can leave at any time. This is true for everyone, man and woman.
You are correct when you say " Most men.. ."- Everyone has issues now - men and women. And also true- most men benefit from a long term relationship or marriage. Women usually sacrifice their youth, beauty, fertility ,choices, time and energy ( this list is actually longer) in these relationships. Men complain they don't have " traditional" women but they themselves are Not traditional. Men also complain about having to " financially" support women and even their very own children. Its almost like a really long round about way that men are saying they don't want to even work ( as in a job). It takes 2 to tango and I'm also talking about women who try, who actually do all the work. These days, most people of both genders are so materialistic and self absorbed it becomes a " What can you do for me" . I kinda think it's still a Man's world though.
I have not been a stay at home mom (not even a mom, a step mom yes) and still my male partners have taken whatever they can from me. Initially they pretend to be generous protective companions but ultimately they want us to be ‘independent’ so they can take, and then gaslight about us not being feminine enough.
@@glynispenny4347 Most men only pretend to be generous so they can get sex or get you to commit to them. Then they change and start to become takers. Almost every woman has experienced this and seen this in real time. Men pretend to be givers but most are not.
What’s “being held” going to do? Not a damn thing. Once that bear hug is over the bills and dishes are still staring at me and I’m still the only one who’s going to handle it all. Stay woke ladies….
I love myself so much now , that no matter what a man can provide me material, if he cant provide me peace , good meant health , and certainty to not to have to worry about if he is cheating or not ! I can hold myself with love and peace❤
My husband set me free from this! Im so so so grateful to not have to be the strongest in the room anymore. Now i'm just happy and i let him protect me. Feels so good to be a loved woman. He takes on more responsibility than he needs to and lets me create beauty for us.
@@chanellover2143 I mean that it feels good to trust a man who loves me as Christ loves the church. We serve each other in mutual surrender and it allows me to lean into my feminity and not have to be in my masculine part all the time anymore. As a boss babe who ran a successful start up by myself for years, this feels sooo good! Thank God for good men!!! Women need men and men need women.
@@chanellover2143Not necessarily so. Many Women love themselves before meeting that special man. The fact that she does love herself encourages the "right man" to embrace what he has found.🎉
@@juliazaleski364that’s good you state you have a good man Most women don’t I feel happier single and I am 💯 percent heterosexual Tha drama trauma and stress of the gaslighting lying cheating abuse are over I have full control over my life and feel like a responsible adult I’m sad my marriage is ending but my self esteem is back I’m not against marriage and genuinely happy you found your needle in a haystack! Marriage can be awesome but for some it doesn’t work out that way
Some of us become that way because we don't have any other choice, honestly, it's exhausting but so is being let down,so the drivers seat doesn't seem so bad even if it means exhaustion and burn out
I don’t think it’s one or the other. You need a healthy bit of independence and finding passion and growth and success in your personal life in addition to having a partner and family to walk life with. I have been blessed enough to find that balance but I needed to experience some extremes before finding MY happy mix. Wishing all women lots of joy and and fulfillment in their lives ❤
Watched my mom take abuse from my stepdad for over 30 years because he gave her half of his SSI check every month so I have always had my own and never wanted to hold on to a man because of that. I turned into the man in my relationships and my soul is drained. I am tired. I don't want a man anymore because I have been taken advantage of so much . I just wanna be alone.
What im realizing is most men come to your life to ruin it. The ways to ruins can be an std, single motherhood, ruined credit, ruined record sometimes can make you end up with a criminal record. Its as if they come to say how may I ruin your life?
A lot of young woman gives their check towards their man. Man look to manipulate a woman always. Times has changed but the way they see woman hasn't. After everything we been through and surpassed they still see us as un- opinionated, stupid, weak, femininity is weakness to them.
This is a very nuanced conversation. There are many factors to consider, and she is painting it like it is cut and dry. I point out she has identified as a strong independent woman. I need more context and to know the mindset of the people on this podcast to know how there opinions are informed!
Women are stronger and will always be mentally stronger. Id rather be physically tired and single. Than emotionally , mentally , physically and spiritually tired in a thankless relationship .
Women realized that to be safe, is to be strong and independent. They never would have chosen this lifestyle if men prioritized women's well-being. They don't. We are exhausted but have a safer more peaceful life to rest in.... until
I've been more alone than in a relationship so been independent most of my adult life and it's not because I choose to do that, yes I can take care of myself but all the man I've dated including my ex husband have issues and that is exhausting, I trust God to bring the right person in my life. He created me He knows best❤bless you all
Most of us have no choice. We must be strong. One wrong decision can derail the entire operation. I’m exhausted but it’s my fault so sometimes I don’t even feel worthy of a break!!! 🤦🏾♀️
What that points to is that men are not providing and being dependable in a way in which women can be less independent. But I’m sure somebody else already said that in these comments.❤️💯
We really don't want to be independent but we have too💯Why men can't see that🤔 We feel lost if we can't provide but we also want the man to see that and help without saying anything 💯💗🙏🏽
You know what… it’s not about trusting a man. It’s about trusting God. I am divorced yet I am still a stay at home mom. When I was married my husband provided (but God was the true provider). My husband cheated so I divorced but guess what, I am still a stay at home mom (through God) and my ex husband lost his job, lost his car and lost me. (He who finds a wife obtains favor from the Lord) It’s not about trusting the man, it’s about trusting God. God always provides for his daughters. And when the right man finds you, God will provide through that man by blessing him. I am still trusting God for a relationship and I’ll have no problem trusting the man who God sends because God is really the one I’m trusting in ❤ you don’t have to stress out in life. I haven’t worked in almost a year and God continues to provide.
@@salmabh210 John 1:12: “Yet to all who did receive him, to those who believed in his name, he gave the right to become children of God.” Jesus is the one true God. The primary guidance he gave us was the Word of God (the Bible). We are not to trust every “prophet” we hear. But His Word is worth trusting in my friend ❤️
1000% FACTS!!! I WANT 2 BE HELD BY A SELF SUFFICIENT MAN THAT HAS HIS OWN & THAT'S NOT WANTING 2 LIVE OFF ME & TAKE MINE WITHOUT TRYING 2 BUILD TOGETHER WITH WHAT WE BOTH HAVE!!!
its not about being tired of being in the masculine if I was alone, its about a man not doing his part in the relationship and feels entitled in just receiving and not giving anything not even love. Everyone wants love even men.. we all need a balance of femininity and masculine energy in us.. having a balance is the key and that is having the right man in our lives.. who is mature and supportive and giving not just a taker.. ♥
Hands up! I can do all those things for myself but what greater joy in life is to find that person who wants to do it with you. I trust my intuition to only let the right people in my life 💖
I am all my hand goes up. Last part I put that piece to relief to God hands. Through Jesus, all things are possible and we continue to keep going with trust and faith. God loves us. ❤
He is coming Sis! He gone be a good man and your best friend! For all us women who got ourselves and want someone who we feel safe enough with to let our guard down, Sis he is coming. He is preparing himself for you. Make sure you ready so you dont fumble when he comes! He coming!
@@gigithebarberbeauty7146❤ a whole word right there! I speak this almost verbatim to myself daily. We got this ladies! Just keep being strong and purposefully prepared!
I’ve had both. I was in a relationship for over 16 years and I’ve been “independent woman“ for the last 10 years. I would rather stress and struggle on my own than think I can count on a Man. If you have one or if you find one that you can lean on, that is a blessing. But that is not the majority.
The risk of being in an abusive relationship or marriage is not worth it. My parents had a bitter divorce when I was 15. I have seen and heard loads of women get unalived or empty at old age because they held on to bad marriages and relationships. When I think of all the disadvantages, I get stronger and MORE confident. I don't regret being single and independent. Not once.
I became independent by default. Drug addict & hooker as a mother. My father was an alcoholic, put out of our home, then got his life together. As a result, I had to raise my siblings at 8 yrs old. Now as an adult, that independence created a woman who was judged by men and single 12’yrs post divorce. I’d gladly submit some of the load to a man who can hold me up and allow me to rest in my femininity and just be. I tend to attract men who have the stability, yet are broken. Once their wing is healed and healthy, they fly away. My father told me they are attracted to the healing nurturer in me. Although I remain hopeful, am ready and open for love, so desire to be held and exhale, I have peace. ❤
You're dating you! Coming from broken-home but dreaming of a whole man is a fallacy at best. Get the therapy and healing for the trauma of being a parentified child and start appreciating the strength GOD gave you to fight 💪🏽 for yourself.
I do not understand these arguments that the man has to hold all of the providing responsibility. That is way too heavy for any one person to have male or female. Asking women if they’re tired is giving the same energy as asking a 5 year old if they need a nap because they’re cranky. Dude, everyone is tired! That doesn’t mean half the population has to hold all the responsibility of it.
All i need is the right person to hold my hand and not someone who will add More problems for me, that is some of us we chose to keep on pushing and pushing because some guys come with expectations that will probably weigh You down More , I really need someone to hold my hand but Only the One with pure intentions ❤❤❤❤
The problem is the dating pool now has become a pit of ugliness, hookup culture and social media, men arent men anymore, and we are FORCED to be independent women to SURVIVE, even if we grew up wanting to be a stay at home mother and a wife, even if we grew up wanting to be our most soft, feminine, and nurturing selves, the times and culture, even the economy, have told us to go fuck ourselves and work like a man and take care of ourselves like a man, and its the most heart breaking and exhausting time to be a woman, what Id give to be able to focus on building a family with a good man instead of the independent life, and because of this, a females testosterone levels go up because when theres a lack of a man around, their bodies have to compensate, which is why we have so many angry and depressed and emotionally distant or destroyed women these days, we have almost no chance anymore to be the great feminine, we are forced to be masculine, and its the greatest tragedy
Some of us have no choice, I'm disabled (physically but able) and have ZERO family other than my daughter. People have different lives, that require different things from us. My life requires me to be strong and independent until the end.
Same here and no man wants to date a woman as physically disabled as I am despite all my other qualities and no job can hire a person as physically disabled as I am it's a sad sad life
I was a housewife and it drove me crazy and gave my husband so much power that he lost his mind, so now I’m a single mom and I like it so much better. I work full time AND raise my babies and it’s the best decision I’ve made so far. Being a housewife is isolating, soul crushing, and gives ALL your power away to another person who will begin to resent you and lose respect for you even if it was thier idea for you to stay home in the first place.
Nope, when you give your freedom away you are 1000% vulnerable to a flawed human. I can tell you a man will never give up his life to trusting a woman to take care of him with whatever she makes.
@@GMonry-p9nwhat comment??? Are u okay??? Is everything alright at home??? Does the lives of random individuals affect u??? What's wrong with humans dear God
🤦🏾♀️ Please don’t take advice from social media ladies! Would you want your own daughter dependent on a fallible man, no. So don’t become dependent on them yourself! You can have both, a reciprocated partnership and both of you have your independence.❤
it's the same everywhere in the world 😢😢 we are tired but we can't have the luxury to be tired no men in this century are responsible enough 😔😔 it's a fact
The men YOU choose are not responsible. You are attracted to those guys. That's your problem. The captain save a h&_$ have retired. So I guess you're on your own.
I hustled so hard when I was younger. I got my first college degree at 18 after having my daughter at 16 and then I got my second degree at 23, I started two businesses, I worked corporate, I did it all by the time I was 24 and I was exhausted. I met my wife and now I’m 30 years old and I spend my time caring for my daughter. It’s. The. Best. I don’t think leaving it all behind is for everyone, but man it truly healed me.
She's not making a bad argument. I just think this applies to all humans. I really think men feel the same. They are also independent but also need to be held and cared for. That is a real human experience. Everyone gets tired and everyone has feelings. That is the way it should be. Let's honor that.
We're strong because we had no other options... get it done, make it happen. We didn't let life run us over & lay dead in the road. We got up, dusted our self off and continued on! We are survivors! That we have survived sooo much, for some reason scares men away. And I for one am perfectly OK with that. What is meant for me shall never pass me by.😊❤
God said in the Bible come to me all you who are weary and heavy burdened and I will give you rest,, I am not sure what wanting a husband will do for you if you're getting tired, my advice is find God first or else you will find the devil offers first lol 😅,, I love all women and I'm wishing you joy, happiness, and peace! ❤
Make sure you're specific when you ask God for a husband and don't settle. A lot of men out here are wolves in sheep's clothing, so make sure you take your time before committing to one.
I appreciate your comments… to be more specific, I want a husband to lead me and my family. The first priority is to follow God. I been divorced for 9 years. Let me tell you I know a lot now then what I did back then. Yes I agreed some men are out here to get what they can and leave. I know my worth. I been saved since April 19 th. I know my God has a plan for me. 🙏🏼
@@CrystalVargas-f1r Ok good to know, and God does have a plan for you!!,😊 Far beyond what you can think or imagine!! ❤. And I didn't mean to offend, I just got triggered when I heard her saying being tired is what should make you want a man. Which is the same mindset mistakes I made in the past. I found a man works better with a woman who can take care of herself independently and the relationship is better with no burdens on each other. I know because I've experienced many different types of men. And I don't have a problem finding a man who can pay my bills, or who I can live with (I can do those things on my own too). What I learned is when you have a man that you have intentions of using (not detached from outcomes) , he will have intentions of using you too. And the way a man uses you makes you more tired than you were before. So I just say that a man is needed not to relinquish you being tired, a man really is to give you more secure and safety feeling. But even the Bible says we were created to be his helpmate so we keep him on track by just being with him...❤😂
I relinquished fully and the little boy in them started to affect my peace.. I still want to rest in the energy of a leader that is not just taking a walk in circles. Read a book by Bishop George Bloomrr "little boy in me" changed my thoughts..
Most women would love to rest in Femininity but the man has to be a safe space in order for that to happen!
Exactly!!!
On point.❤
💯💯💯
❤ exactly! In these times it seems more and more women are willing to do the work on all fronts. Also there's a abuse of Power when women used to count on men. There's absolutely nothing with having your own, but some dudes in this time are interested in living and eating off your destiny. There's good men out there but it seems not enough to the point where we are doing the work. Imagine a world with more Prestonsmiles and Sacred Thomas. We would appreciate it and operate in more peace and feminine innergy. Women are taken for granted in this world especially by most black guys because they feel we are a dime a dozen, and disposal to them. I have a great relationship with the men in my life and they don't abuse women, but there are predators out here and narcissist behavior. More grown boys need to commit to healing and doing there jobs so we can both be balanced. Where are the men able to hold space for the tired woman?? 🤷♀️🤷🏾
It will only happen if you have femininity essence
Yeah, I’m tired, but my peace and sanity outweighs the exhaustion.
I'm proud of this comment section.
Amen
Yes *sigh to this lol because as I sit here (lay down really) in exhaustion from a horrifically abusive relationship. I'm just like, I would like to be able to work again. He hurt me... not physically but it hurt me physically aka my health.
Yeas indeed
That part!
The problem isn't wanting these things...the problem is being able to find the right person to provide these things for you... often times women enter relationships that bring them down instead of uplifting them. A man can provide financially and still bring you down. Which is why women choose to pursue an independent lifestyle in the first place.
Why don’t you provide for yourself? What you’re saying is a recipe for codependency and a toxic relationship.
True 😢
100!
Very true!❤
True!!!
I am tired of fixing everything in my home, washing my car on weekends and doing everything BUT MY PEACE AND HAPPINESS IS UN-MATCHED!!!!
Had to do this and was married. 👀 Thank God He rescued Me.🙏
Well get a handyman. I have one. He's fine too. 😂😂😂😂😂
@@jnell8072 that's the real tea.
I have learned to just stand up in Love not fall in it, My happiness, Peace is Priceless, 💗
I am not tired of all these things, I actually love fixing things in my home and working with tools, and nobody looks over my shoulder and belittles me for everything I do.
You know what's WAY MORE exhausting than being independent? Getting cheated on, lied to, and let down by men you thought loved you. Over and over😢
THIS!!!! 🎯💯💯💯💯
Because you chose the same kind of man over and over again. But most of us don’t want to be honest about that.
@@thecanary4238I disagree. Personally, I’ve been with or dated almost every type of man. Either on my same level or above in the financial category, kid/s and no kid/s, all intellectual in their own right with a great skill set of some sort. Own or rent their home. And they all seem the same to me to one degree or another.🫤
@MegaMisfit138 absolutely 💯 right
@@thecanary4238 I don't have a particular type. I am not attracted to bad boys. I always liked musicians, but will never date one again. I do seem to attract narcissists. That is extremely common in empaths. Everything is an act with narcs, for as long as they can hold the mask. Satan has unleashed his minions, and there doesn't seem to be many choices. Even the ones that aren't narcs, seem to lie, or have porn addiction. This is how men usually operate. My current choice is to be single. I do take responsibility for whom I chose, but it's not like I knew who they actually were, any time close to the beginning. I've dated a couple nice guys too, but our spiritual beliefs clashed.
Once burnt, you will never ever put your happiness in the hands of a man. This is how these women are built. Of course we want to be held and supported, but we all know too well, if you put your faith in a man, you might have nothing in the end. 😢
Exactly but I am so exhausted 😢
@@elinalukyanova4983 i did... homeless now 6 yrs...im disabled and no $$ to be independent.
Narcissistic drunken shit maggot.
@@nicciseabrook4249 men aren’t the solution
I'm a living witness...nothing, empty, and still get calls from men for financial assistance and sex. I have nothing ...
Facts!
Some don’t have a choice but to bee strong independent women.
@uppitybee898 so very true 😞
Underrated comment.
Fact 😢
Exactly. We don’t have a choice.
Independent women are empowered!
But what typically happens, is that the man who comes into her life, contributes to her exhaustion...And she ends up even more tired.
True 💯💯
Trust
Word!!!
@@TriniTsunami it was the wrong man. He was a lesson not, the blessing.
Yep
Girlllaaa aint no man coming to save us😂my homegirls, auntie, mama, sis etc. Thats my ROCK...Yall better act like yall know shiid! I poured into and invested into the sisterhood and the returns are well worth it❤❤❤Kepp ya head up ladies.
I call the ladies in my life "the Village ". The village is and has always had my best interest at heart. My sister and mom are my best friends. I wont trade that for no hug❤
😂😂😂😂😂 who gonna tell her?
👍👍👍
EXXACTLYY 💯 the fantasy of some man coming to save us is just that- a delusional fantasy and believing it is how women get played and fall for sweet nothings and future promising once a booga does come along smdhh
Finding a safe person is like winning the lotto. Sadly many of us do not have the luxury of letting go
@@kjones8747 my safe person died in my arms 3 half years ago my mum week later
Was good kind honest man became his carer work accident
No Ladies You Must Take The Time .Go Skating,Biking Or Take An Dance/ Pilates Class., Swimming.Self Defence Class.,Sewing Or Cooking .There Is So Much You Can Do .Wine Classes.❤Love Your Selve More Than Look In The Mirror And 💐Your Self .And Ask The Universe And You Will Meet Your Friend & Protector.But You Have To Look Out For Him Too .💜💞.Much Love & Success In Your Endeavors..Peace😔🌟🦋.
I'm tired, but I don't see how a partner can change that. Then I have to care for him too. It's more work.
Exactly. I become more tired when thinking about being with a man intimately.
Because those are feminine men too😞 a masculine man will allow women to rest
Agreed! These women that are pushing this “a man take the lead” aspect seem to be confusing things… being held don’t pay no dam bills and how is it healthy to have a man take on the burden of the bills while i relax as his significant other or wife??? I’m glad i tune this bs out bcse it’s full of sh!t and holes…
You guys are supposed to care for EACH OTHER.
@@Laoriginal718 What does that mean? Paying bills is easy. What else can a man do for me?
I’m not tired. Bills are a constant in life in some form or fashion. What EXHAUSTS me, is having to worry about a man’s mood changing or cooking for him or waiting for him to plan something. I’m enjoying “dating” myself and doing what I want to do, without worrying about how much it costs or sacrificing my time doing bare minimum. I love it here.❤
Exactly. I don’t know why men think that we need them so much. It would be nice, but it’s not a priority.
I saw something earlier that said if you are a middle-aged female and single, it’s your fault. 😂😂😂
Yeah, it’s definitely my “fault” because my standards are incredibly high (in all honesty, not really… But by today’s standards) and my boundaries are uncrossable.
And when I say high standards, I’m not talking about how much money you have or any nonsense like that. I’m saying that you should be kind, compassionate, empathic, trustworthy and able to be vulnerable under the right circumstances.
I don’t even care if you open the damn door for me. It would be nice, and I will probably ask you to in the future if you don’t, but that’s not what I’m saying. Those are petty, surface level things that can be easily corrected. I’m talking about what’s in your heart.
As a married woman, when your find the right man life doesn't feel like a burden. Being in a room with them feels like the warmest softest bed, it feels like true selflessness, like a joke that makes your laugh uncontrollably. True love hits different.
@saraaaf That is a true blessing, and I am happy for you.
The thing is marriage and relationships are work- with the right person. And there are many wolves in sheep's clothing..making this divorced mama feel like I can be happy figuring life out single.
The basic standards of loyalty and compassion are harder to come by.
If it comes would be nice, but if not im thankful and happy for what and who i have in my life.
Facts,bills are always going to be there. I have been happy single, married very young,widowed very young ,dated a couple of dusties after hubby died. I have always been better off financially single. A lot of men bring debt,bad spending habits to the table when you get with them.And it goes both ways I know,women do it to, except the men in my life have always had this ultra macho attitude about knowing what's best,don't question me attitude. Only for me to find out they spent bill money on BS and I had to cover it. I would rather be tired from working a lot to take care of me and my daughter then be exhausted from dealing with a irresponsible, arrogant man who is whiny,needy, complaining.Now that is soul crushing exhausting.If you are the strong one in the relationship it's best to stay single until you truly meet someone who is on the same level as you.Since becoming a widow,i have bought my own house,nice car finally, after two decades of driving pieces of crap,going back to college,and money to spare.Nope i like the piece of mind i have now.
I just don’t think life is so simple. Because men don’t just arrive to save the day, they come with their own traumas, burdens and expectations. They are really stressful.
Also these days men are really pampered and act like princesses. They want women to pick the tab, hold the door open for them.. and also clean the house wash their socks.
It's not about women relinquishing independence or control. Yeah we can ask women to quit their jobs, stay home and run around doing domestic stuff all day. But is the man going to work twice as hard to provide? If you trust a man with a task, 90% of the time it's not done when it's supposed to be. This is why women pick their kids from school, take the kids to appointments, plan the birthdays, Christmas etc even while working stressful full-time jobs.
Men also have gotten comfortable not being the breadwinner. Men these days are used to the wife running off to work while also taking care of the kids, doing the chores, fixing dinner, laundry. It's such a good deal where they get off work and watch tv while the wife does the parenting and responsibilities. Now even if women want to be held.. men are way too curled up in feminine energy to be the rock for the family.
Thank you thank you thank you.
And to be honest… what we don’t hear is men have been wanting to be held and supported as well. Both sexes possess feminine and masculine energy. It’s a crisis that is impacting us all, such that both sexed are unable to readily access the feminine energy bc it’s been under attack for generations. Let’s just be clear and honest. And that is due to the patriarchal society we live in. It has been toxic for us both.
YupYupYupYupYupYupYUUUUUUUP!
So stressful, double standards on almost everything 😢
I grew up with a father who was emotionally, physically, verbally and financially abusive. I wasn't going to risk experiencing that in my adulthood. I chose to remain single and childfree, even forgoing romantic relationships.
I'm living in peace and prosperity and wouldn't have it any other way.
I actually feel spoiled. 😌😌😌
You don't deserve to live like that because of your past. There's a lot of good people out there, good men who will love you the way you deserve to be loved. Don't give up hope.
And I as a mom that was verbally, mentally and emotionally abusive to me and my dad let I choose to be loving and supportive yet my past relationships ended because most women can't stop living in past relationships and I'm punished for what other men done.
When I was married I was more tired and stressed. 😩
You will be less tired doing all that for yourself than doing all that AND dealing with a man who is resentful you can do all of that. A lot of men have become just as dramatic as a lot of women. Ain't no one got time for that
WOMEN R NOT,....''DRAMA TIC'''
IS ''THAT'' sill y 'man S P 3 a K ?
Exactly I'm independent and I want the same guy that have his sht together
I have kids I don't need extra work
Well men feel the same, we can build more and have peace and enjoyment in life without a woman that may try to make us loose it all. Can't we find common ground and work together instead of be at war
The problem is not that we don’t want to be soft and taken care of. The problem is that SOME men have abandoned their positions, leaving us to fend for ourselves.
That’s facts 💯
Who is the woman speaking?
True 😢
And my own mom hated me being soft and feminine she even dressed me as a boy and shaved my head when I was a little
I don’t think the back room heard you please say it louder!! 🙏
Notice that she said most most women raised their hands when asked if they were independent, but ALL women raised their hands when asked if they were tired. We live in a world that is not safe enough for us to relinguish power because they dont have the support around them.
Amen!!!
And another Amen
@@nataliamartin6411 now i wish your thoughts were hers bcse the way she’s coming off to me is that women are choosing to not relinquish their power and should allow the men to have this power which isn’t realistic at all.
They don't know HOW TO KEEP A MAN. Or choose them. That's the real issue.
True
In the state of the world, you cannot depend on anyone EXCEPT YOURSELF!
I tried to relinquish my independence in relationships, even asked for assistance in lifting some of the weight so I could breathe for a minute. The response was devastating. They mistook my need for relief for me being weak and tried to diminish me to the level of the needy women they dealt with in the past. Moving forward, when I’m tired, I rest, restore and replenish. The man God has for me will have the sight to “see” where the burden is and the “muscle”, both mentally and physically, to lift it without being asked to do so.
@@sophiyahsunflower7259 I felt the trickery at first but after some time and deep inner work, I realized that I wasn’t being tricked, I was being tested. I had totally forgot that I prayed and asked God for clarity on him, me, and the relationship but as he slowly but surely provided it, I was prepared but not ready. It hit me hard but I asked, he gave but once he provided the clarity, would I stay or would I go because in all honesty, being closer to him kept me further from God. I understood the assignment and I moved accordingly. How a man “behaves” is between him and God. Who I allow to enter into my life (men, friends, family, and/or foes) is between me and God. If I have to question the behavior, character, integrity, energy, etc. that does not align, it does not align. 🏃🏾♀️
I wouldn't dare discourage with my experience. I'll just pray your prayer is honored and you actually get what you prayed for.
@@juicyfruit147526 would not dare! Thank you and I pray the same for you!
I'm praying for your heart. Not because I've got this help but because I don't. And I hope for you healing.
. This post was not useful but I will pray for the ones who understands this post is a joke at our pain. God's got us, family. MANY blessings of favor. In Jesus 👑 mighty name. Not sure if the woman yapping is even a believer of Jesus Christ but God loves YOU. And already knows your heart and it's NEEDS.
This message is giving, women should settle in exchange for a “different” type of tired. You may get financial relief no more than 20-30%, but now you’re tired of lies, cheating and gaslighting. I would rather be 100% exhausted than to EVER experience that type of “tired” again🤷🏽♀️
This lady is acting like women are preventing men from providing.
Each time people point out a "strong" woman.. please remember it's because a man has failed her. Women in general don't want to be breadwinners, don't want to be single mothers, don't want to do everything independently. Maybe 10% of women, but most of us don't.
As women, we need community, closeness and communication. My girl pals would text me pictures for something simple like buying a new dress or purse. That's just how much we rely and depend on people around us. For a woman to be independent and push that dependence away it just means how much the men have failed her.
She'll rather be tired doing everything than to be disappointed, heartbroken and betrayed. I hate that they portray the narrative that women chose this life of being independent so that we can fill up our bank accounts and act bossy. No mam' we're here slogging away because most men can't be relied on.
Wow! I left an almost identical comment above! I guess I'm not the only one! We're always looking for love. Men are looking for maids!
Excellent comment 👏🏾👏🏾👏🏾👏🏾👏🏾
Also the housework kind of tired when you have a partner and start a family is worse. Giving up "some of your independence" to be held doesn't mean you are going to be allowed to rest.
I have an amazing fiancé, he loves me and our son. He does his best to take care of us, but he still doesn't understand the mental load that comes from being the mother in the family. We are all neurodivergent and we are all doing our best, but I'm so tired and I gave up all of my independence for this exhaustion.
I would do it again in a heartbeat because that what my son needed, but man would I love the opportunity to just shut off and rest once in a while.
Yes honey!!!!!❤❤❤
She didn’t ask an important questions: How many are full time mothers? How many are caregivers to an aging parent or child? How many are working and going to school. People get online and act like Independence is fun and games but in alot of cases it’s necessary to do what’s needed to survive. To be truly Independent means not having to depend entirely upon others.
Well said.
I know that’s right ! Must look at the full equation !
Well said, everything you stated I am not by choice but, sometimes we do what we have to because if we don’t, then who will ? Things won’t get done we can’t sit and feel sorry for ourselves we have to take care of our families and ourselves. Eventually one day I’ll meet the right man who’ll make me feel safe to rest in my femininity and lighten the load but don’t add to it.
My dad raised me to want a man not need one. He taught me everything from working on a car to budgeting money and how to work hard at what I want. To not be afraid to ask for help....
I love my dad. He taught me all of this. But at one point my dad broke that trust when he nearly beat me to death with a steel belt buckle. My drunk stepmom pushed him to do it. I was 8 1/2yrs old.
She lied about something she said I did.
My dad and I made up much later. I get he made some bad choices.
I too ran into similar relationship dynamics as an adult. It damn near killed me at least 3 times. One was an overdose on meth. At that point I ran.
I had to run again in 2015 after being strangled to death three times. Ex had everyone thinking I was mental. No one believed. Had my best friend hold my kids for me.
I am glad I am free from that nightmare.
Clean from meth 18 years now. I am blessed to be alive and here for my children.
Yes, I would love to have someone in my life. I'm willing to let someone in again. It will be an old style courtship. I want to know the person first. Get on a level of friendship.
Yes, I can do the successful thing on my own. I'm looking for my best friend now.
💜💕🦋🔥👑🔥🦋💕💜
@@ScorpionMaiden75 Wow, it’s so crazy that you often see women deal with men who are a reflection of their fathers. I don’t know why this is; but I’ve even seen this truth in myself. My Father was horrible in so many ways, and because of that, I have to not only severely vet the men I deal with; but also figure out what it is that makes them so attractive to me, and determine whether those reasons connect back to my father.
I don't know if we gonna be resting anytime soon... this generation raising more questions than answers to me.😢
🎯🎯🎯😂 I know this comment wasn’t meant to be funny but im laughing to keep from crying
Ladies remember you don’t necessarily need a man to rest in femininity. Focus more on creating the life you desire!!
Don't need man, yet blame men for having to be super women. 😮
I’ve struggled with this in the past. Being referred to as an “alpha female” was a badge of honor as a single, strong woman; until I was in my mid 40’s and weary and exhausted from carrying the load, fighting the battles that I had no business stepping into. I was lonely and depressed in a relationship carrying the weight of a man and I regret ever embracing that title. It may have helped me when I was a child (due to trauma), but I am fighting to release its hold of me now. Thank you for sharing.
If it was actually easier to be with a man, most women would really appreciate that. In my experience it is not. It is harder, and more exhausting. The work never ends. You can keep your embrace, I will keep my peace and health. Thanks, but no thanks.
Yes Girl Exactly 💯, I am like "all this for a warm body in the bed" !! Heck no! I can't even begin to tell you!😅 A frickin relationship will have me aging like milk lol.. I happily do it on my own 😊❤
❤
It's. Sad to it sounds like to me your attraction of bad men. Trust me. A good man will go to the end of the earth for you.
I used to enjoy saying that I am independent. However I no longer use that word, and now I say that I am self sufficient. Because I would love to have a mate that I can have for support. Beautiful post 💚
It’s coming beautiful!
Good way to look at it ❤
You get it and it will pay off
Me too!!
Honey, please make sure the guy is actually a support and not a burden.
We are stronger than the men we need. That's why we are doing it all by ourself
My God!!! Listen!!
exactly!
Amen !
And that’s why a lot of them are looking to us now because they recognize our strengths.
You are coping hard. You just cannot retain that guy. He has too many options and you were raised in too many situationships. You need to get serious and choose someone at your level .
I rely on God to hold me first!
A woman should NEVER DEPEND ON A MAN, she should have her own. A man should be there for support. ❤
I've been that strong, independent woman for so long that I've lost sight of the desire for a man...I kinda like it here.
Most men are grown little boys, and I no longer have the patience for it. I hope the women who are still looking find their needle in a haystack.
AGREED
It’s good to see somebody else say exactly what I feel and think. It’s been about 6 months and I never wanna do it again🤣🤦🏾♀️🤷🏾♀️
I've been saying it for years, boys will be boys and so will men. They're yelling for women to take accountability but I'm a Christian and the Bible holds men accountable first. But they don't want to hear that.
I feel more than fulfilled. Happy doing my own thing.
@@crystalwigington1522 try 10+ years…
My ex partner left me and our son. He was the cause of my stress when we used to be together. I may be exhausted working 2 jobs, paying mortgage on my own, being the breadwinner and keeping everything afloat, but my little boy is the one who keeps me going, i have to be this strong independent woman for us. if I want to be held and hugged that would be from my boy, he’s the best and I want to be the best mummy for him❤
Yes. Take care of your children.
❤AMEN. GOD WILL SEND YOU WHO YOU REALLY WANT & NEED. PATIENCE. BELIEVE ✝️
You be careful not to parentify him
@@shirleylynn323thank you, blessings to you!
i think im happy to not involve someone new and just focus on good parenting/ breadwinning and protecting my household! 😊
@@nzingahoneyyes mindful of that! Thank u for the kind reminder 😊. I sought my own counselling/ therapy after his dad left. I talk to my closest friends when Im feeling down. I dont like my son see me sad as he will feel it. Then me and my son go on nature pram walks on my days off or go for drives for fresh air and listen to lots of motivational podcasts( i get my exercise too!)
Im just grateful that i have this house and car and savings before everything went downhill i bought them before i met his dad. Im just grateful we got the basics and living just enough, some single mums out there are struggling and I pray they get through it too ❤
A woman should always be self reliant. No hatred towards men, just capable and independent. A man can walk away after marriage and baby and Abandon a whole family. Also, People and circumstances change. My dad lost his livelihood in early 2000s, my mom was forced to work 6 days a week to feed 4 young kids and husband. My dad became comfortable however with the set-up and decided to stay at home, it made my mother exhausted and eventually broke their marriage.
No. Society needs to value Mothering and the ethic of care. Tax the richest. They have been accumulating and we need to get our wealth back. Mothers should be paid. It's real work.
Happy to see lots of lovely sisters in here❤ women gotta stick together
No matter how strong you are, you can always be BETTER!!...with a good person by your side!...Amen!🙏🏽
Not everyone is meant to be married. God has a different purpose for each individual.
No one talks about those of us that are strong and independent because we have no choice. We were put in that situation. Yeah I want to be strong and independent because my survival depends on it. Am I tired yes but I have no choice.
That part
This!💯
If you submit to a man. He could take care of you. But you cannot do it.
Before I got married I got a house built, had two cars, raising my children, and going to a church I really enjoyed going to. After I got married. Lost my house, cars, and my job behind a man that I should have over looked. Stop going to the church I enjoy going to. Start going to his family's church, dealing with a lot of hypocrisy. Well my husband making decent money now, and now he treats me like a slave. Wow! Women should keep themselves protected from narcissistic behaviors. Now I understood why so many women stays single!!!
Sorry you're in that situation. See how you can get out. As a child of divorce, I wish my parents didn't hold their marriage for me. It broke my reality. And it was a lot of guilt to carry. Set an example for your children. How you see yourself is how they will remember you. If you're strong and successful, they'll see it. If you're being ordered around and your needs are not met, they'll feel it. Do what's best for you so that you can do what's best for them. If your husband is narcissistic, prepare for battle. Never divorce or breakup with those typesnof people without a plan
Ohh no! I’m so sorry I am praying for you! Thanks for sharing your story on the downside of a man with money because that’s a real thing. May God bless you and keep you
❤
@julesa1754 I agree with you.. I dont believe in staying together for the kids. The kids will become acclimated to a toxic environment, and that keeps the generation in a cycle of toxic behavior. Whether that be them accepting toxicity or dishing it out. As a mom I believe in leading by example and not the do as say, not as I do mentality.
Now you also understand why men also choose to stay single
I gave up my independence for a man once and it ruined my life.. made me depressed anxious jaded and angry. These days I find myself lonely but the cost of true companionship is more than I can afford. I’m tired but I don’t have the option or the luxury to be vulnerable. It’s sad out here.
absolutely understand u i did the same thing ima hair stylist self employed he was soo insecure so i stopped then after that he did as well he refused to work so jone of use was working 😢 he destroyed my dreams my kids my self esteem my dignity everything controlled me had to be his way or no way had to respect his boudries which were dumb and stupid but didnt follow my boundries then had to financially support his kids that were not even mine 😢it destoryed me that inforgot what i wanted in life after that before he came to the oicture i already knew what i wanted and who i was apon looking the mirror i was like who are you😢 look at what he brought u too thats not love thats a nightmare i was just used and manipulated for his own well being it sucks but the best side is ending that cycle of his game which they dont like and continue to get other victims
Amen in my country men are becoming comfortable being nothing and leaning on women to do and provide for everything
They are exploitive and abusive. They need to fight Crapitalist Overlords for better work arrangements but instead cowardly look to take from women because it's easier.
A relationship with God first. Vulnerable with God first. I had a similar experience to how you've described in a relationship before I Met Christ. I know now that was a trauma bond. It won't be the same after Sanctification. He Leads; in Safety, in Truth. He decides. He does everything, really! 😆 Righteously. God Bless
I made myself small, and relinquished to my husband who allowed his family to be evicted 5 days before Xmas! NEVER again without proof he is a worthy man..
We talk about this as if the women, including myself don't want to relinquish or resisting when it's present. However, my husband of 20 yrs. was blessed financially to provide better for me and our 6 children, who are now adults. He asked for a divorced and remarried less than a year later. We are independent because we have to be. I welcome love, but in the 13 years after my divorce, all I'm meeting are sex crazed, controlling men. I'm open and willing to be vulnerable for the right one. I'm praying, at 58 that he will show up, but until then, mama got to do her thing. These types of conversation are needed, but with openness.
A lot of these comments I feel to the depths of my soul…it’s almost bringing me to tears. It wasn’t supposed to be this way…How did it get to this point? It’s a bitter sweet situation.
Feeding women unrealistic bull💩😮. Not enough emotional mature men 😢
💯🤣🤣
Right😂😂
You choose the same train wrecks. Then complain about it. It's incredible to watch.
@@GMonry-p9n 99% of dudes are train wrecks 😂😂 We choose ourselves.
Lots of prositutes out here acting like women not enough mature women….! Smart men have learnt to go their own way and leave these prostitutes to keep mining for that treasure they love so much.
Only God can consistently give you this peace shes speaking of
completely agree with you
Men are given charge by God to do this, they don’t obey
💯
God is my savior. He is my father. However, the physical touch is not there through God. God has my soul. I thank Him for all of my blessings and I try to learn the lesson I'm being taught through trials and tribulations. But a partner in life is what God wants for you and relinquishing some of that stress and responsibility to a partner is what she is talking about. Not spiritual life.
@@michellebuchanan7198 yea your still to young to understand it
No revelations made here. Of course we wanna be held, of course we wanna relinquish some of the burden. Most of us dont pretend to enjoy carrying everything on our own, we just do it becasue we need to.
Exactly 💯💯
Independent women might be tired but they are safe! I know alot of coupled women who ARE TIRED AS WELL and also JUST WANT TO BE HELD!!
People need people, we build each other up
Yes and people need to save people that's what good people supposed to do
People really don't
Best place in the world is in the arms of an honorable man who loves me.❤
Honorable men are rare.
Amen❤
Until he loves someone else.
@@broco6608indeed
You think you’re safe huh? Well let’s hope that’s true. I get more attention from attached and married men more than single ones. However, you are blessed if it’s real.
I was telling my friend today to not trust any man ever especially with her money and her house. To be safe and look out for number one. She can have a man in her life but to be smart about it.
put the house in a trust or LLC legally BEFORE marriage PLUS prenup and always have a tenancy agreement with any guy living there
Has any man ever taken a woman for her home and money? Oh yeah that happens one out of 15 million times. That's an irrational concept. It's like worrying about being hit by a shooting star
Let me show you to the black community. Their men have the highest unemployment rate compared to their counteparts. 😂 So who money are they living off of?
Yes, but which poison are you willing to choose? Waiting and feeling a sense of disappointment because you’re choosing to rely on others or pick up the pieces yourself along with exhaustion because you realize that only you got you? Life’s not fair. Which path are you willing to go towards? Choice is yours.
So much truth. Generational wealth is more than wealth. YAH is good. Thx for bringing this 💡to all who are listening.
The missing factor in every problem on earth is this: the accountability & genuine cooperation of men. That is all.
I agree. The desire for the softness and that emotional and intimate support of a partner is there. However, that desire is very separate from the finding and availability of partners in which it is safe to be so.
As women we all have that soft energy and the desire to be held by a strong masculine.
However there are so few masculine men around. Most are fully in their feminine energy, they want to get off work, eat and play videogames. They are constantly forgetting things, unable to help themselves and reliant on women. I've seen men who treat their partners like a servant, secretary and worse.
Men these days don't want to provide- they want to whine on the internet, gossip and watch girly shows on Netflix. That leaves women with no choice but to be independent.
Agree
Most men DO NOT genuinely support women, making this conversation very misguided. Women’s independence is fundamentally tied to our survival and overall health, as most men prefer dependent women as a means to exert control. This only leads to abusive relationships where security and finances are used as tools of manipulation. Her perspective would be more valid if men were truly selfless, generous, and supportive partners, but unfortunately, that is often not the case. Talk to any older/former stay-at-home mom and you’ll hear the truth about the HELL you get trapped in when you believe that men are your helpers and saviors from stress and hardship. Only women make men’s lives easier. It’s rarely the other way around and I’m sick of these people gaslighting us like we don’t know or deal with men to know better.
Exactly. We dont live in an utopia. Everyone just wanna be "held", longing for a feeling similar to being held by our mothers, the most secure, unconditional love.
Such love never happens again. You need to be independant so that you can leave at any time. This is true for everyone, man and woman.
You are correct when you say " Most men.. ."-
Everyone has issues now - men and women.
And also true- most men benefit from a long term relationship or marriage. Women usually sacrifice their youth, beauty, fertility ,choices, time and energy ( this list is actually longer) in these relationships. Men complain they don't have " traditional" women but they themselves are Not traditional. Men also complain about having to " financially" support women and even their very own children. Its almost like a really long round about way that men are saying they don't want to even work ( as in a job).
It takes 2 to tango and I'm also talking about women who try, who actually do all the work.
These days, most people of both genders are so materialistic and self absorbed it becomes a
" What can you do for me" .
I kinda think it's still a Man's world though.
I have not been a stay at home mom (not even a mom, a step mom yes) and still my male partners have taken whatever they can from me. Initially they pretend to be generous protective companions but ultimately they want us to be ‘independent’ so they can take, and then gaslight about us not being feminine enough.
@@glynispenny4347 Most men only pretend to be generous so they can get sex or get you to commit to them. Then they change and start to become takers. Almost every woman has experienced this and seen this in real time. Men pretend to be givers but most are not.
I think this clip is taken out of context. It sounds like she’s trying to get them to understand, but I’d have to find the entire convo to know.
“Now put your hand up of you’re tired”. As an only parent/single mother that resonates immensely❤
@@bellies8564 ✋🏾I’m tired but when I look at what I provided for my daughters it makes the tiredness worth it.
What’s “being held” going to do? Not a damn thing. Once that bear hug is over the bills and dishes are still staring at me and I’m still the only one who’s going to handle it all. Stay woke ladies….
I love myself so much now , that no matter what a man can provide me material, if he cant provide me peace , good meant health , and certainty to not to have to worry about if he is cheating or not !
I can hold myself with love and peace❤
My husband set me free from this! Im so so so grateful to not have to be the strongest in the room anymore. Now i'm just happy and i let him protect me. Feels so good to be a loved woman. He takes on more responsibility than he needs to and lets me create beauty for us.
If you were not a loved woman before him that means you did not love yourself .
Amen.❤Praise God. Thank you
@@chanellover2143 I mean that it feels good to trust a man who loves me as Christ loves the church. We serve each other in mutual surrender and it allows me to lean into my feminity and not have to be in my masculine part all the time anymore. As a boss babe who ran a successful start up by myself for years, this feels sooo good! Thank God for good men!!! Women need men and men need women.
@@chanellover2143Not necessarily so. Many Women love themselves before meeting that special man. The fact that she does love herself encourages the "right man" to embrace what he has found.🎉
@@juliazaleski364that’s good you state you have a good man
Most women don’t
I feel happier single and I am 💯 percent heterosexual
Tha drama trauma and stress of the gaslighting lying cheating abuse are over
I have full control over my life and feel like a responsible adult
I’m sad my marriage is ending but my self esteem is back
I’m not against marriage and genuinely happy you found your needle in a haystack!
Marriage can be awesome but for some it doesn’t work out that way
Single independent woman here and I love it. I’m not tired and certainly not looking for a mate.
Amen
Exactly. This video is annoying misleading. You can definitely live the soft life while being independent and single.
@@tatiannamarshalls2705 totally agree
Exactly...and men don't want to give the relief either.. they do not want connection even short term..
"Now raise your hand if you feel safe depending on a man"
She is right on point!
Some of us become that way because we don't have any other choice, honestly, it's exhausting but so is being let down,so the drivers seat doesn't seem so bad even if it means exhaustion and burn out
I don’t think it’s one or the other. You need a healthy bit of independence and finding passion and growth and success in your personal life in addition to having a partner and family to walk life with. I have been blessed enough to find that balance but I needed to experience some extremes before finding MY happy mix. Wishing all women lots of joy and and fulfillment in their lives ❤
Watched my mom take abuse from my stepdad for over 30 years because he gave her half of his SSI check every month so I have always had my own and never wanted to hold on to a man because of that. I turned into the man in my relationships and my soul is drained. I am tired. I don't want a man anymore because I have been taken advantage of so much . I just wanna be alone.
Period ❤
What im realizing is most men come to your life to ruin it. The ways to ruins can be an std, single motherhood, ruined credit, ruined record sometimes can make you end up with a criminal record. Its as if they come to say how may I ruin your life?
A lot of young woman gives their check towards their man. Man look to manipulate a woman always. Times has changed but the way they see woman hasn't. After everything we been through and surpassed they still see us as un- opinionated, stupid, weak, femininity is weakness to them.
Same here 💯
Same here, sisters…
This is a very nuanced conversation. There are many factors to consider, and she is painting it like it is cut and dry. I point out she has identified as a strong independent woman. I need more context and to know the mindset of the people on this podcast to know how there opinions are informed!
Women are stronger and will always be mentally stronger.
Id rather be physically tired and single.
Than emotionally , mentally , physically and spiritually tired in a thankless relationship .
Women realized that to be safe, is to be strong and independent. They never would have chosen this lifestyle if men prioritized women's well-being. They don't. We are exhausted but have a safer more peaceful life to rest in.... until
I've been more alone than in a relationship so been independent most of my adult life and it's not because I choose to do that, yes I can take care of myself but all the man I've dated including my ex husband have issues and that is exhausting, I trust God to bring the right person in my life. He created me He knows best❤bless you all
Most of us have no choice. We must be strong. One wrong decision can derail the entire operation. I’m exhausted but it’s my fault so sometimes I don’t even feel worthy of a break!!! 🤦🏾♀️
You are SO worthy of a break and then some! 🙏🏼💕💯
Keep your foot on the pedal to the right you’ll get there
Why is it your fault? Please never say that again thats not true
"It's my fault" 💯 % resonates with me. Pushed me to grow, but I definitely made my bed and now I have to do what I have to do.
Praying for restoration for all of us that this post resonates with🙏🏾🙏🏾🙏🏾😊😊
What that points to is that men are not providing and being dependable in a way in which women can be less independent. But I’m sure somebody else already said that in these comments.❤️💯
We really don't want to be independent but we have too💯Why men can't see that🤔 We feel lost if we can't provide but we also want the man to see that and help without saying anything 💯💗🙏🏽
I want Jesus Christ to hold me. Who I can trust & stick closer to me than a brother.🙏✨☮️💕
You know what… it’s not about trusting a man. It’s about trusting God. I am divorced yet I am still a stay at home mom. When I was married my husband provided (but God was the true provider). My husband cheated so I divorced but guess what, I am still a stay at home mom (through God) and my ex husband lost his job, lost his car and lost me. (He who finds a wife obtains favor from the Lord) It’s not about trusting the man, it’s about trusting God. God always provides for his daughters. And when the right man finds you, God will provide through that man by blessing him. I am still trusting God for a relationship and I’ll have no problem trusting the man who God sends because God is really the one I’m trusting in ❤ you don’t have to stress out in life. I haven’t worked in almost a year and God continues to provide.
Amen ….
YES!! So good! He takes our burdens when we surrender them to Him! We just have to trust in God❤❤
I like ur comment , so true God is the provider , but God doesn't have daughters and sons , God is the creator that sent prophets to us to guide us
@@salmabh210 John 1:12:
“Yet to all who did receive him, to those who believed in his name, he gave the right to become children of God.”
Jesus is the one true God. The primary guidance he gave us was the Word of God (the Bible). We are not to trust every “prophet” we hear. But His Word is worth trusting in my friend ❤️
@@beautyrefinment Amen sister🙏🏾 Same here, God has been providing for me as a stay at home mom!! God bless you!! 🙌🏾🎊🎉
1000% FACTS!!! I WANT 2 BE HELD BY A SELF SUFFICIENT MAN THAT HAS HIS OWN & THAT'S NOT WANTING 2 LIVE OFF ME & TAKE MINE WITHOUT TRYING 2 BUILD TOGETHER WITH WHAT WE BOTH HAVE!!!
I agree with you on that!!
Amen sister 🙏🙏🙏
THAT Man is already someone else's husband.
😂🎯@@anauxistentialcxuxui9390
💯
its not about being tired of being in the masculine if I was alone, its about a man not doing his part in the relationship and feels entitled in just receiving and not giving anything not even love. Everyone wants love even men.. we all need a balance of femininity and masculine energy in us.. having a balance is the key and that is having the right man in our lives.. who is mature and supportive and giving not just a taker.. ♥
Ain’t nobody gunna do for you anything you got to be strong 💪 regardless
Hands up! I can do all those things for myself but what greater joy in life is to find that person who wants to do it with you. I trust my intuition to only let the right people in my life 💖
I am all my hand goes up. Last part I put that piece to relief to God hands. Through Jesus, all things are possible and we continue to keep going with trust and faith. God loves us. ❤
❤ 💯 Truth. I am all of that, but I am tired. But I will not settle. I will be in pain while waiting for the true partner I am supposed to have. 😢
How do you know if you're meant to be in a partnership?
He is coming Sis! He gone be a good man and your best friend! For all us women who got ourselves and want someone who we feel safe enough with to let our guard down, Sis he is coming. He is preparing himself for you. Make sure you ready so you dont fumble when he comes! He coming!
Felt thissss
Me too i refuse to settle. I'll hold on long enough until God brings the man He has intended for me.
@@gigithebarberbeauty7146❤ a whole word right there! I speak this almost verbatim to myself daily.
We got this ladies! Just keep being strong and purposefully prepared!
I’ve had both. I was in a relationship for over 16 years and I’ve been “independent woman“ for the last 10 years. I would rather stress and struggle on my own than think I can count on a Man. If you have one or if you find one that you can lean on, that is a blessing. But that is not the majority.
The risk of being in an abusive relationship or marriage is not worth it. My parents had a bitter divorce when I was 15. I have seen and heard loads of women get unalived or empty at old age because they held on to bad marriages and relationships. When I think of all the disadvantages, I get stronger and MORE confident. I don't regret being single and independent. Not once.
I became independent by default. Drug addict & hooker as a mother. My father was an alcoholic, put out of our home, then got his life together. As a result, I had to raise my siblings at 8 yrs old. Now as an adult, that independence created a woman who was judged by men and single 12’yrs post divorce. I’d gladly submit some of the load to a man who can hold me up and allow me to rest in my femininity and just be. I tend to attract men who have the stability, yet are broken. Once their wing is healed and healthy, they fly away. My father told me they are attracted to the healing nurturer in me. Although I remain hopeful, am ready and open for love, so desire to be held and exhale, I have peace. ❤
You're dating you! Coming from broken-home but dreaming of a whole man is a fallacy at best. Get the therapy and healing for the trauma of being a parentified child and start appreciating the strength GOD gave you to fight 💪🏽 for yourself.
Don't submit or allow a man to lead that's just stupid
Yes, I'm tired. But, I don't have the luxury to rest. I am the bread winner in this household. Without me & my job, we would be homeless & hungry
@@marismith2416 this might sound a bit crazy, but have you ever thought of downsizing a bit so you can make room for the luxury to rest?
Is there a man (husband, boyfriend , fiance) in your household?
Exactly
🤡
Exactly! This femininity narrative will have you hungry out here “waiting for a man”
I do not understand these arguments that the man has to hold all of the providing responsibility. That is way too heavy for any one person to have male or female. Asking women if they’re tired is giving the same energy as asking a 5 year old if they need a nap because they’re cranky. Dude, everyone is tired! That doesn’t mean half the population has to hold all the responsibility of it.
Exactly. That's what I'm saying too.
I would argue that a wife and mother is much more tired than a single childfree woman.
@@mizzmolly7649Yes! Wayyy more tired 😩
This single, childless woman knows you would certainly win that argument! ❤️
All i need is the right person to hold my hand and not someone who will add More problems for me, that is some of us we chose to keep on pushing and pushing because some guys come with expectations that will probably weigh You down More , I really need someone to hold my hand but Only the One with pure intentions ❤❤❤❤
The problem is the dating pool now has become a pit of ugliness, hookup culture and social media, men arent men anymore, and we are FORCED to be independent women to SURVIVE, even if we grew up wanting to be a stay at home mother and a wife, even if we grew up wanting to be our most soft, feminine, and nurturing selves, the times and culture, even the economy, have told us to go fuck ourselves and work like a man and take care of ourselves like a man, and its the most heart breaking and exhausting time to be a woman, what Id give to be able to focus on building a family with a good man instead of the independent life, and because of this, a females testosterone levels go up because when theres a lack of a man around, their bodies have to compensate, which is why we have so many angry and depressed and emotionally distant or destroyed women these days, we have almost no chance anymore to be the great feminine, we are forced to be masculine, and its the greatest tragedy
Some of us have no choice, I'm disabled (physically but able) and have ZERO family other than my daughter. People have different lives, that require different things from us. My life requires me to be strong and independent until the end.
I pray God be with you hon, you take care x
Same here and no man wants to date a woman as physically disabled as I am despite all my other qualities and no job can hire a person as physically disabled as I am it's a sad sad life
I would love to meet a safe, secure, loving, provider. I have been ready for some time now. 🙏🏼💚
😅this! I’m starting to get completely turned off about marriage.
I was a housewife and it drove me crazy and gave my husband so much power that he lost his mind, so now I’m a single mom and I like it so much better. I work full time AND raise my babies and it’s the best decision I’ve made so far.
Being a housewife is isolating, soul crushing, and gives ALL your power away to another person who will begin to resent you and lose respect for you even if it was thier idea for you to stay home in the first place.
Exactly!!
Too often this is the case.
This happens when the man in her life isn't strong enough to hold her.
Nope, when you give your freedom away you are 1000% vulnerable to a flawed human. I can tell you a man will never give up his life to trusting a woman to take care of him with whatever she makes.
My fellow women!!! For your peace of mind, I would advise you to stay single and self-sufficient.
Amen 🙏
The streets raised you. You became the streets. To the streets you shall remain. Forever
Yes, yes, yes and thank you
@@GMonry-p9nwhat comment??? Are u okay??? Is everything alright at home??? Does the lives of random individuals affect u??? What's wrong with humans dear God
🤦🏾♀️
Please don’t take advice from social media ladies!
Would you want your own daughter dependent on a fallible man, no.
So don’t become dependent on them yourself! You can have both, a reciprocated partnership and both of you have your independence.❤
That’s not just a woman thing. That’s a single person thing. I’m sure some single men feel and want the same thing!
it's the same everywhere in the world 😢😢 we are tired but we can't have the luxury to be tired no men in this century are responsible enough 😔😔 it's a fact
The men YOU choose are not responsible. You are attracted to those guys. That's your problem. The captain save a h&_$ have retired. So I guess you're on your own.
I hustled so hard when I was younger. I got my first college degree at 18 after having my daughter at 16 and then I got my second degree at 23, I started two businesses, I worked corporate, I did it all by the time I was 24 and I was exhausted. I met my wife and now I’m 30 years old and I spend my time caring for my daughter. It’s. The. Best. I don’t think leaving it all behind is for everyone, but man it truly healed me.
She's not making a bad argument. I just think this applies to all humans. I really think men feel the same. They are also independent but also need to be held and cared for. That is a real human experience. Everyone gets tired and everyone has feelings. That is the way it should be. Let's honor that.
We're strong because we had no other options... get it done, make it happen. We didn't let life run us over & lay dead in the road. We got up, dusted our self off and continued on! We are survivors! That we have survived sooo much, for some reason scares men away. And I for one am perfectly OK with that. What is meant for me shall never pass me by.😊❤
There is no man out there that has been able to hold me without being selfish. The abuse and misery isn't worth it. I can hold myself, thanks.
That’s me and I’m getting tired. I been praying for a loving husband. 🙏🏼❤️. There’s still hope.
Get a Pookie or Ray Ray
God said in the Bible come to me all you who are weary and heavy burdened and I will give you rest,, I am not sure what wanting a husband will do for you if you're getting tired, my advice is find God first or else you will find the devil offers first lol 😅,, I love all women and I'm wishing you joy, happiness, and peace! ❤
Make sure you're specific when you ask God for a husband and don't settle. A lot of men out here are wolves in sheep's clothing, so make sure you take your time before committing to one.
I appreciate your comments… to be more specific, I want a husband to lead me and my family. The first priority is to follow God. I been divorced for 9 years. Let me tell you I know a lot now then what I did back then. Yes I agreed some men are out here to get what they can and leave. I know my worth. I been saved since April 19 th. I know my God has a plan for me. 🙏🏼
@@CrystalVargas-f1r Ok good to know, and God does have a plan for you!!,😊 Far beyond what you can think or imagine!! ❤. And I didn't mean to offend, I just got triggered when I heard her saying being tired is what should make you want a man. Which is the same mindset mistakes I made in the past. I found a man works better with a woman who can take care of herself independently and the relationship is better with no burdens on each other. I know because I've experienced many different types of men. And I don't have a problem finding a man who can pay my bills, or who I can live with (I can do those things on my own too). What I learned is when you have a man that you have intentions of using (not detached from outcomes) , he will have intentions of using you too. And the way a man uses you makes you more tired than you were before. So I just say that a man is needed not to relinquish you being tired, a man really is to give you more secure and safety feeling. But even the Bible says we were created to be his helpmate so we keep him on track by just being with him...❤😂
I relinquished fully and the little boy in them started to affect my peace.. I still want to rest in the energy of a leader that is not just taking a walk in circles. Read a book by Bishop George Bloomrr "little boy in me" changed my thoughts..