things in my autistic home that just make sense
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It's crazy how I always find out about things I never knew I needed. I always HATED the sound of dishes, but I never thought about bamboo ones or these mats. Bright lights always stress me out, but I never thought about just switching them off and using lamps instead. I guess society had always taught me to just 'act normal' and suppress my needs, maybe that's why I never thought about these things. Thank you so much, you really have helped me a lot
Omg same whenever there is something bothering me i'll just kind of ignore it and endure it instead of trying to like...change it?? It's like the idea that it can be fixed doesn't come to me and i just try to ignore the stress it gives me
Okay, so in case you need this, here are some things I recently found out: you can wear sunglasses in winter if the sun's bothering you, sunglasses aren't for summer only; if you're wearing glasses, you can take them off when you're in a crowd and it's stressing you out, at least for me it's easier to see blurry instead of seeing every little detail
Same!! When things bother me I’m like “I’ll just deal” instead of finding accessible options.
The day I got my own place was the day I finally got permission to make my life suit ME instead of everyone else. It's a weird feeling when you're so used to the opposite!
@@zrae4389 that's exactly why I want to move out (I'm 19 and still live with my parents), but I don't feel adult enough to live on my own yet
I always struggle with time blindness in the shower, so I started to play the same song I know by heart that lasts long enough for me to do everything (it happens to be exactly 10 min long lol). It is so much better than timers. With timers I never know how much time I has left, and then panic when it suddenly hits. Familiar song is much better with navigating me in time.
I do that too! There's a Mystery Skulls album that's 15-16 minutes long on youtube with no adverts and it is the go to "shower song" for me. 😁
This idea is a game changer! I feel like I'm completely or as close to completely time blind as is possible! I literally struggle all the freakin time! I get jumpy with alarms as they often come out of nowhere unless I'm just literally staring it down till it goes off! This sounds like a great way to monitor it! Thanks :)
im not autistic but i do this too
What a great solution! It's perfect.
great idea, I want to try this
PLEASE don't charge things on your bed. I work at a fire dept and have seen dangerous fires started that way. Stay Safe.
Something that may be a helpful hint:
I am bed ridden, so I understand keeping them close. I use to keep them in bed also, until my brother freaked out on me. Honestly, with my Traumatic Brain Injury, I simply don’t think about things like that sometimes. However, I got a 3-tier metal rolling cart (from Micheals-although I think you can find them in target and other stores also). It’s nice because I can make it into a portable charging station in my room. I’ve got a surge protector on it with multiple plug ins. Then I’m able to charge everything I need on it my laptop, iPad, iPhone, etc. hope this helps someone.
making a comment so this comment gets more notice
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Any tips? I have a plug behind my bed I have a multiplug with my two lamps and phone charger plugged into. The phone is usually on the end table or in my hands while it's charging. I try to keep fabric away from the outlet, and when I leave for extended periods of time I unplug it just in case.. Not sure if that's enough, though.
Outlets and the electronics should be away from fabrics (and your face!) for fire hasards.
A nice little sliding table that could go over the bed could do the trick!
I just want to let you know that an entire group of autistic adults have been like "oh genius" at getting dishes that don't clang when I shared that fact from one of your other videos. Even though we are all adults with kids of our own, we never thought we were ALLOWED to just do that. >< So we thank you, and my ears thank you.
i actully kind of like the clatter of dish i just wish they didn't break into a bajillion pieces whenever i drop them
I bought bamboo dishes a few weeks ago just because I liked them. A set for me and a set for my kid. I didn't even think of the lack of clacking until I got them home and was so glad to discover that about them. I've not watched the video yet. Just had to agree with this comment 🙂
I started doing it because Im very very good at breaking dishes, and cleaning up glass is annoying so sometimes the broken glass just sits there for like a day, so the only glass in my cabinets are mugs.
@@jellopackets3770 I don't even own glasses because I'm so scared of breaking them. I also especially hate the clink of glasses! It just gets to me.
I personally use mostly plastic dishes, both because I’m constantly dropping them and because I don’t like clanging dishes either!
From another neurodivergent with cats: there are air purifiers with lights that change color when the cats have done their thing. Very handy for those of us ”out of sight, out of mind” folks
Check out citi kitty potty training.
THANK YOU! i always forget to clean my baby’s box and i am so worried about him getting infections but i always forget
Do you have a brand suggestion? I can’t find one and that sounds fantastic
@@asterie3 the one we use at home is a Coway - it's not perfect but every little helps
@@David-eu1ms making cats use the toilet is really bad for the water systems (cat waste is very toxic) and more importantly not good for the cats
When i go to shower at night i enjoy doing everything at once in the shower: Wash my body, Wash my hair, wash my face and brush my teeth. I feel a little bit like in a car wash but after i just need to dry myself and then im done. I love efficiency
Same! Haha, I love the thought about feeling like a car wash 😂
Yessss
literally
BRUSHING YOUR TEETH IN THE SHOWER this is so efficient on so many levels tysm for sharing... now i just need to remember to shower loll
I really like the idea of the bamboo dishes to eliminate clanking noises, I jump or get anxious when my mom does the dishes, thanks for the tips on making a sensory friendly home.
You need to have in mind that bamboo dishes feel very weird when they get wet (when washing them), like they would be slimy, that is the only reason why i can't use those. Maybe it was too cheap bamboo, that could be a reason. Also I recently started using gloves while washing the dishes, definitely helps.
@@lemurkirsche7891 What type of dishware do you use then? I am neurotypical, but for other reasons no longer keep glass or ceramic dishes. Melamine is noticeably less clanky IMO.
@@Celestials615That reminds me I'm going to be showng how to make dishes and drink coasters out of non toxic hdpe milk jug plastic on my new TH-cam channel called "Techie Unusual" in the future, you can use milk jugs and melt them on parchment paper in a simple toaster oven and press them into a mold, hopefully this will inspire others to create and help save the environment and prevent millions of tons of plastic from ending up in the ocean each year, making sturdy dishes that won't shadder or clank. I currently haven't uploaded any videos yet. It's going to have a lot of simple tech, life hacks and cool content on it.
I can't explain it (espeically as I have a bamboo toothbrush) but the idea of bamboo plates makes my teeth feel weird. WTF? lol
I really love the idea of the silent bamboo dishes but please folks, make sure there’s no cancer-causing melamine in them. Those are apparently only „safe“ for cold food and drink. ☺️
these are great ADHD hacks actually, I'm an interior design student and recently got diagnosed with ADHD and some of these are things I have done to streamline my own home
If you don't already follow the channel How To ADHD, I can heavily recommend it :)
yes, have the same thought! when Paige mentioned the lights I’ve attempted to count mine in my studio, looked at 4 floor lamps standing next to each other (which are my unfinished project of course) and was like… whatever 😅
I learned that ADHD and autistic persons can use similar strategies to get better trough the dax
Neurodivergent brains are so fascinating. I love seeing how similar our struggles are but also the variety within those same categories.
Definitely! Especially the decrease the steps thing. That really helps with getting stuff done.
Fun fact I learned today: "alpha wolf" is not actually a real thing! The dude who observed "alpha" behavior, of both male and female, wolves in captivity later realized that this does not occur in nature. He apparently spent decades trying to clarify to people that he was wrong and even went so far as to request his publisher stop publishing his book that made this false claim.
i also heard that from someone. they said he's still working on rebutting that publication's effects and i feel bad for him lol
The alpha wolf was in fact the mum and dad of the pack and the rest of the pack were their children
Thanks for the update! I’ve heard about it being refuted, but this just confirms it.
@Yuri-qz1mz accurate. When the group went out to study wolf packs in the wild, they found the wolves function in a family dynamic with both parents functioning equally at the top, and the babies following in line.
Similar thing happened when people were studying "alpha" behaviors in deers. A bunch of men scientists went out and claimed their findings found one alpha deer who instructed the behaviors of all the other deer. But another group, composed mostly of women scientists, found that deer herd have a sort of silent voting system which determines the behaviors of the group as a whole.
As someone with a special interest in wolves, thank you for mentioning this. It annoys me how uncommon this knowledge is and how often it’s mentioned, as well as how long I’ll spend explaining that this is incorrect.
hey with the feelings wheel, you might also like Lindsay Bramans' emotion-sensation wheel. it's like the feelings wheel, but instead the outer ring has bodily sensations (e.g. tight jaw, racing heart) that correspond with different feelings
Mosaic you are brilliant and I sing your praises. Thanks so much, this is what I needed without realising it.
@@AstarteElviraLyana i hope it helps! i bought a download from the artist and now use it as my desktop wallpaper, so i refer to it pretty much all day :)
thank you!
its cool but so hard to read
WOW! How have I never heard of the emotion-sensation wheel? This is something I need very badly as I often have sensations that I don't understand what they mean or what is their cause, or what I'm feeling exactly. Thank you
A roomba has been a gamechanger for me! I can schedule when it vacuums so I don't have to remember and it's so much quieter than a normal vacuum.
Yes. I love my Roomba. My younger (also autistic) kid hates the sound, but we can turn it on, and go hang out in the yard for a while, and it still gets done.
Can also program it for when you know you are going to be out. You can use an alarm to remind you check if things need packing away.
and they're also adorable lol
have you tried this kind of electronic headphones called impact pro they make sounds all the same volume love them for i have to get out the shop vac and suck up some sawdust or pine needles or whatever else in the workshop
It works really well for me tidying the house because the noise of it starting reminds me I must tidy
As someone who is neurodivergent and probably autistic, I can't wait to be able to afford to live alone. My roommates are very nice, but I think my life would be much easier and less stressful if I could control whether or not there are people in my house, as well as feel comfortable to make my little sounds and be completely myself.
Yeeeeeeees. Same😮
Fellow autistic woman solo in her first home! I got some great tips for this so I’m sharing some of mine with you in return lol: I also am constantly forgetting to eat or finding myself too burnt out to walk to go get food, so I always keep cute little baskets of snacks in my office, by my bed and by my couch with fruit and nuts and protein bars. That’s been a game changer. Also similar to what you said with the dog food, when my dogs tell me they need to go out, I make it a rule to go myself first. So that way they remind me to go. They stare at me and judge the whole time but I just remind them I’ve got to put on my life jacket first 😂.
Thanks for sharing! 💛💛
Not autistic but I have trouble eating when I'm depressed, and having those "meal" bars or nutritional shakes on hand is really helpful for me, and snacks by the couch and bed
My animals are trained to get my attention to refill their dog bowl and water bowl!
Ahaha i can see myself enptying the basket in a day i have no self control when i see snack 👁👄👁
@@nekochadechu haha I have my moments like that as well 😅
I also have tons of microwave stuff available for when executive dysfunction is like "nah.. we ain’t cooking today". Like microwave rice pouches, steam in bag frozen veggies, microwave Mac n cheese cups, microwave mashed potatoes etc. especially as I’m a mom that obviously needs to feed kids… it’s been such a game changer plus I don’t gotta feel guilty since it’s decently healthy and balanced. I’ll also microwave chicken nuggets for the kids lol. My husband really loves the air fryer so he’ll make stuff in there whenever he can. We barely use the oven anymore 🤣
Love this! But, as someone with animals as a special interest, I feel the need to inform you. Alpha Theory is incorrect. The idea was formed from watching groups of captive wolves in enclosures too small for the number of wolves living in them. Aggressive hierarchies emerged and scientists assumed these behaviors correlated to wild wolves, which they don't. It's really interesting!
Omg this is really interesting! Do you have any more information on this? I'd be really interested in knowing more, especially about the behavioural aspects and their implications in the medium and long term. I'd be surprised if it's been done, but it would be really interesting to test how long those behavioural changes lasted once the wolves were put back in their natural environment with enough space and food for everyone.
Yes!! I have the same special interest and whenever someone uses the alpha theory I get irrationally concerned lol, I immediately checked the comments to see if anyone had mentioned this
XD I came here to say this. Hank Green did a really good tiktok on this, too. Anyway cool video otherwise :)
thank goodness someone said it!! it immediately took me out of the video 😭💀
Thank you for making this comment.
My son is 2 years old and is autistic. You actually helped me understand a better way to organize my house in order to keep a sensory friendly environment for him based off hearing the way you organize in order to stay on track. My son is sensitive to almost all of the same things as you. Especially the clanging of dishes and vacuum cleaner. Thanks so much 😊
Paige the thing about the mirrors made me smile!! My mother is also autistic and she has a thing about mirrors too. She has multiple mirrors in every room and carries a mirror with her everywhere. I even found some mirror keychains and she has them attached to all her purses and she has a mirror with a sticky back attached to her phone
Narcissism at it’s finest
@@memenazi7078 no not narcissism. The mirrors makes her feel safe because when she looks in one she knows she's ok
@@memenazi7078 I think it's connected. My brother with bad mental illness, very narcissistic , has had autism traits yet never examined for it he's in his 40s. Some traits would be his eating habits. He can't eat certain textures of food. He's very Ridgid and reminds me of big bang theories Sheldon. His kids all have some form of autism. His oldest son has it the most noticeable. If anyone has any form of autism or even bad mental illness they shouldn't have children. Just a friendly bit of advice. Your kids could have it worse.
The mirror thing about your mom is so adorable !!!
@@lovelocked5385
Or maybe it's a coping strategy he developed bc his family was shitty to him and never cared for his needs?
Having autism isn't something that should stop you from having kids, it's a neurdivergence NOT a life-threatening disease.
Honestly, how would you feel if the way you thought, felt, behaved, was constantly belittled your entire life? Maybe it's not just him with narc traits...since you literally went out of your way to look for an Autistic person's video to comment about how you hate Autistic people.
I thought I was the only one who detested my bedroom overhead light. When I was in college and in my dorm alone I would literally never turn it on. And when my roommate turned it on I would become super agitated by it. Never realized that was a neurodivergent thing, this is super comforting
A huge thing for me was accepting that it's okay to need different things compared to other people. After being told my whole life (25 years is a long time) that I'm too lazy or not tidy etc. enough, it took a long time for me to realize that it wasn't actually on purpose. To realize that it's okay that I can't stand white walls because they make me anxious or that my apartment is "messy" in some areas because I need everything out in the open. It's not weird, it's just who I am and that's perfectly alright. Living alone has been a journey of self-discovery and learning how I can work with my brain and not against it. I also mainly use lamps, but I can't stand concentrated small light sources of any kind. Sadly, that includes fairy lights. As soon as they're close to me, the light just blinds me and it's just painful. From afar, I really like them, but not up close.
Also: I share your love for mirrors. I don't quite understand what it is about them, but I definitely practice facial expressions with them. I've just accepted that now, but it used to make me feel self-conscious and still does sometimes. It's as if I was afraid of breaking a rule or sth, especially prior to finding out I'm autistic
Wow. I resonate with you so much when it comes to how I feel near lamp lights, white walls, and even mirrors. The self awareness really comes about when I’m standing in front of one, and it’s a habit of mines to look in the mirror before I need to do a reflection…it’s like proof that I exist
I'm the opposite I actually have 2 mirrors one hidden behind a door that way I can choose if I want to interact with it and one over my bathroom sink in a wooden frame hung up with faux leather straps that I leave facing the wall unless I'm actively using it 9 outta 10 only when I shave
Hey Sum414everuakn, just a suggestion: if you feel you need to have your things out in the open, you may want to check out Clutterbug's TH-cam channel. She is all about people not having to suit an organisational style, but the organisation style having to suit the person. What she calls "butterflies" and "bees" are the types of people that need their stuff to be stored visually and she offers great tips for that :)
So much yes to all of dis 😌
I struggle so much with bathroom routine and no one has been able to help me. Having things out, decreasing the number of steps, and reminding myself of whst needs to be done every time I'm in there are legitimate things I can apply. Thank you!
You could even make yourself a visual checklist if you wanted to. I know it's not quite the same, but when I was a new mum I was very sleep deprived and not used to having to think about all the things the baby needed. So I stuck a list on my door to remind me, everytime I go out have I goy nappies, Dummies, milk, wipes, a change of clothes, a blanket etc. Those visual lists can be super useful
They make shower curtains with mesh pockets. I usually keep “extras” like teeth brushing, face wash etc in them and place them at the level I typically would use them at. I find it helps because sometimes I won’t do tasks and find some easier if I’m in the shower/bath. Also working from top and working down seems to help me.
I've moved a toothbrush in to the shower and it really, really helps. Now my teeth get brushed when I shower and once a day/once every two days is so much better than not at all (thanks hatred of toothbrushing and depression). It's now part of the shower routine and my hair is a built in reminder if I haven't showered for a while (greasy hair) so I have a routine and last ditch reminder as well.
Two things! (1) having things in order like Paige does HUGELY helps me (also lists like someone mentioned down below). (2) while in the shower, you can also bring one of those dish soap wands and wash the ding-dang tub/shower enclosure. Saves you from getting damp (I loathe wet socks) when you do it later.
I got an eraser board that's got magnets. I write the list of things to do on it. As I get #1 done, I move it down to #2 and do that one, etc. Put one on the bathroom mirror for the bathroom. One on the fridge for kitchen things. There are check-sheets for memory impaired people you can download, if you'd rather print and use a paper list.
One of the things I find really interesting about autism is how broad the differences are within the spectrum.
E.g. Paige has the TV on for backgroiund noise - I find that really difficult to deal with. Paige needs to have different hacks to remember stuff - with me things stick in my head ot the point they drive me crazy until they are done. I suspect my partner exploits that by putting ideas about what "need"to be done and then she knows it will drive me crazy until it gets done, so I'll do it (she supports me in so many other ways, I don't resent this - I'm not sure if she conciously knows she is even doing this).
And I don't need everythingtobe visible ot find stuff. I remember where every thing is. People say your office is really untidy how do you find stuff. And for me the obvious answer is it's where I put it. It doenst move unless someone moves it- its natural for me to just remember where pretty much everything I care about is. If I don't see/thing about/use something for say 6 months I might start losign track, but usually it will take a couple of years for me to forget exactly where something (I care about) is.
As I say I find irt fascinating how different the needs and abilities of people on the spectrum are.
Agreed. I don't want anything visible. It's visually overwhelming. BUT, the tradeoff is that there are things I don't get done because it's hidden. I'm probably at least twice Paige's age and, in a way, she's adulting better than I am because she's determined to address the things she needs to do by making sure those things are present when I just want to hide everything that overwhelms me. When I do leave stuff out that needs to get done, I ignore it. Totally. I have clean laundry piled up in my bedroom. I actually LIKE the process of folding/putting stuff away. I LIKE being organized. But I'll still pretend that pile doesn't exist for weeks. I know where everything is, which is my problem. It overwhelms me and to cope I pretend it's not there. It really is fascinating how all our similarities will still drive us toward different behaviors.
I agree. I'm somewhere in the middle. I can only obsess over a few things at a time and everything else gets forgotten so I have to leave things visible so I'm forced to address it.
But for the 3-5 things that I'm obsessing over getting done, I'm always thinking about them so they can be hidden until something else replaces it in my "pinned" tasks and I forget about it.
Also I usually can find anything I'm looking for if I was the last person to touch it. Mainly because I can remember the area looks like and also I know my habits and can narrow things down.
So even in a mess I can find my stuff
@@jamesbackwardz and for me it depends on the day and if I have had enough good rest and the likes. When Im on I can remember where something is from weeks previous and the bad days I will make coffee leave the room and then forget about my coffee for hours 😂😂
Also, don’t forget that she has adhd, so some things will also be different on top :)
I’m not Autistic, however I suffer from Chronic pain, Chronic illness, and an Traumatic Brain injury. This was actually really helpful for me to see. Since all this happened to me I’ve had to have full time caregiving, so my mother moved in with me and helps me. But still I struggle with simple tasks. Your ideas of leaving things where they can be easily seen is such a great idea. I love how you lay out everything so it’s easy to remember and use. Thank you for the helpful hints and tips.
Also, loved your ladle to scoop out the dog food! I hate touching the dog food and even wear gloves to scoop it currently. But a ladle would be so smart! Love the idea!
4:34 I’m an autistic human and I’ve been learning a lot about dogs (as I have one and it has anxiety so learning about it’s become a special interest) the behavioural specialist explained to my mum and I that the wolf pack idea is not actually relevant for the types of dogs that are kept as pets, there is no leader of the pack, the types of dogs we keep as companions don’t follow that pack chain. They are a little bit more like children. It’s really interesting learning about the huge differences between wolfs and companion dogs.
Also thank you for your videos, I live on my own but don’t own my home I pay rent, I really struggle with a lot of things and hearing you need help with some things (like cleaning and taking rubbish out) makes me feel so much better cause I thought it was just me being lazy and unorganised 😭😭
I've also heard that the idea of alpha wolves etc isn't relevant to wild wolves either it's only relevant to wolves in captivity.
@@phoebewilson6739 basically, the alpha is typically the oldest family member and they share food
While that whole alpha idea was wrong, there is a certain "alpha-like" dominance in a group of pet dogs. I witnessed it play out while staying with my daughter's 4 dogs one evening. Sugar, a whippet mix female, was the most senior dog and seemed to have dominance over the other two youngish females and a very young pit bull mix male, Boo. I had given them each a chewy and they were in various places chewing away on their prize. Sugar was on the couch with hers.
Boo abandoned his chewy, walked up to Sugar who stopped mid-chew and they stared at each other for a short while. Daisy, near the couch, abandoned her chewy, got up in super slow motion and began moving so slowly away it was almost imperceptible, seemingly hoping not to be noticed. I knew something was up and it was more than him wanting her chewy. He did a short, low growl; she stood firm, not moving. The staring contest continued. I imagine she considered her small, fragile, aging, female body was no match for his large, muscular, young, male physique so she got up with a big, angry bark and jumped down, leaving her chewy behind. Boo took her place as he chewed away on her prize. From then on Boo became the one who barked when the others got too rambunctious or went first to investigate danger.
@@ItBeThatWaySometimes to be fair, it's not that it isn't based in science, it's just that the science was only making conclusions about wolves who were in captivity with limited resources to go around... forcing dominance or ranking order to be established out of desperation, rather than looking at the behaviours of a neutral and natural set of behaviours
The trash going out is a hard thing for me. My son comes over and takes it out for me some weekends. If I do it, it's like... 'Ok, this is the one thing I'm going to get done today!' I feel exhausted getting through that.
Thank you so much for making these videos. My daughter is 12 and she loves to watch. She has autism and we both learn so much watching together. You provide tips and talking points that we may have never thought of on our own. She relates to you in many ways and she's getting good at expressing where she differs. I truly appreciate you. It has helped me so much to understand her better than she could tell me before. 🙂
you are such a good parent!:) thank you for listening to her needs:)
A tip: wear ear plugs inside!!! It's SUCH a relief for me.
I'm considering buying 2 extra pairs that can live in the bathroom and kitchen because that's usually where I'll end up needing them and not having them close by
I have kitchen ear plugs and also a kitchen nose plug! They help a lot with cooking and washing dishes without being overwhelmed by smells and noises
Use them for shopping! You will love it.
Noise canceling headphones are the best thing ever for me!
Buy two extra pairs. Weigh how much they'll cost against the amount of relief you'll get. Reading these comments I'm finding a LOT of us seem to just tolerate things because "that's the way things are" and don't think to try and improve them. You deserve the luxury of having a different phone charger everywhere you like to charge your phone. And earplugs wherever you want them. And spare disposable masks in your glove compartment. And hand lotion by the couch. All those little accommodations make life so much much better. I think of it as a luxury and that I'm treating myself (yes, the bar is low, I'm aware).
I have headphones for when I do dishes or other loud chores c:
Im not even autistic but your organization makes a lot of sense to me & I love the way you have everything. the kitty litter built inside that cabinet is really cool! i find it satisfying how it has a separation & it’s not just out in the open.
Same here! I’m not autistic but I tend to get easily overwhelmed if something isn’t organized like I want it, so these “tips” are really cool.
When spaces are designed for disability then everyone thrives, even able bodied people and NT's 😍. (A paraphrase of something a young dentist said once who funded a disability house in QLD Australia for 3 residents and a live in carer, I wish there were more people like her).
That condiment drawer idea is genius! I'm totally stealing that when I get my own place someday!
Honestly though, screw the big light. I hate it and call it the evil light. Always gives me a headache and sends me into sensory overload after awhile. Chances are if I'm tired, irritated, and feeling unwell, I've left the over head light on too long. Lamps for the win!!
For most of history it's been firelight, lamp light or candle light. These lights have little blue light which means less disruption to one's wake-sleep pattern, in contrast to many ceiling and electronic screen lights. So small, warm lights are healthier and more 'normal'.
When living alone remember to have ocassional meaningful, face-to-face communication with other people. Humans have a socialization requirement that cant be met purely through online socilization, as counter intuitive as that might seem/feel. Going several months without talking to anyone can do weird things to your mind, so remember mental health is as important as physical health.
i’m on disability with autism and also live alone. my 2 cats save my life! 💗
I’m autistic and am trying to move out of my parents house. Originally, I was scared because after I got diagnosed with Panic Disorder, I was afraid to be alone. Now that I have a grip on it, I want independence.
Thank you for sharing this video. Some of the items you showed are what I would do, honestly
I’m scared to move out on my own too!
Mirror. A mirror helps me. As a health worker I can see the patient. Because I see the patient I can start managing the patient. The patient is, of course, me.
Usually I can see too fast breathing, scared eyes and sometimes tears. This tells me my patient is scared, maybe sad and their breathing is not good. So I use a gentle voice (don't want more scared), light touch on hand/lower arm (helps with sad and showing someone you're there) and let them know they're breathing too fast. My voice of course doesn't work well because I am freaking out but I have to make it right - gentle, steady, able to say more than two words in one breath - whilst slowly rubbing lower arm and watching facial expression. Modulating my voice helps with breathing. Then I tell my patient that their breathing is getting better, maybe we could focus on it a bit more and I do the hand breathing exercise. My hand on top of theirs (so both of mine on top of each other), up on inhale, down on exhale. Start at the rate the patient is already breathing, then slowly settle it down. It feels bizarre moving arms too quickly so that naturally slows it too.
Have you disassociated? Absolutely, but now you're not freaking as much.
If I treat my patient like that, why wouldn't I treat myself?
Remember: you can call your parents for advice. I was in my 30s when I found (and trapped under a trash can) a mouse. Had to call my mom for next steps. (Hint: slide a cardboard box underneath and throw the whole thing out the front door... get the trash can back in the morning.)
@@coal.sparks I would take this advice, but I've come to a conclusion that my parents mostly shielded me from the world and they say I need to protect me. That's not a lifestyle I want to stay in. So I'm trying to figure this stuff on my own.
But thank you for the comment!
Just remember, just because you move out it doesn't mean you 'failed' if you need to get some help or advise. I almost let myself starve one time, because I was trying so hard not to let my parents know I was having difficulties making it on my own. Don't do that. Your parents will still help and love you.
I use a kids toothbrush and mouthwash, the color of the toothbrush makes me smile and it’s actually a better size even for adults from what I’ve read. The mouthwash tastes like watermelon and isn’t an overpowering sensory experience for me.
I also have a coat rack that holds a sweater, face masks, my pack for working outside, a hat, and my purse, in addition to my coat. Since I see it anytime I walk out the door it reminds me to bring a mask, or to bring a sweater even if it’s not cold enough for a coat, etc.
I realized that my (size 7 women's) feet are small enough to fit into larger sizes of kids' shoes and the amusement I get from sparkly laces really rocks. (Also, they're often quite a bit cheaper!) More things in your life should bring a smile to your face.
I definitely need different Toothpaste. I don't like toothpaste.
I find that making a daily to do list with colored labels is extremely helpful- so each color represents most important, kinda important , and least important, then you have your ✨daily highlight✨ it’s the one thing you have* to get done that’s stressing you out the most, the thing putting you into paralysis. your aim is to try and tackle the daily highlight first- crossing it off the list feels good bc it’s like you beat the highest level 😂
Sooo.... I was diagnosed with inattentive ADHD last year and everything just made sense. But now a year on there are still a FEW thins I can't seem to put my finger on. Started researching autism about an hour ago and you're the first youtube video I clicked on....
Holy balls you make sense to me. Thank you for sharing this because this video has been useful to me in multiple ways! You're a gem. Brb watching all your videos and probably go to bed late because of it xoxo
I have inattentive ADHD as well and when I tell you this video just blew my mind!
Same! Realized i was adhd before i realized i was autistic! good luck on wherever this journey takes you!
Thank youuuu! I'll update if anything significant happens ;p have a lovely day!
@@adhdumpsterfire You as well!
@S.E.A. high five to that one😅 but hey, that's why I'm so glad to have found youtube communities like these😊
I don’t have ASD but I have depression. Two different types of depression that run through each other at times to be precise. So videos like these really help me. I find that often my needs are really similar to those of other neurodivergent people.
Also your space buns are really pretty and I wish my hair would cooperate to look like that.
Also also your outfit is super cute!
Amen to that!
I have depression! My son has autism, and his doctor suspected that I do too, but I don't have health insurance, so I can't find out. I have a really hard time remembering to do things, and if it's too many steps, I won't do it. Depression is so cripping sometimes! One day, I was peeling potatoes while sitting at the kitchen table. My friend made fun of me and laughed but it was that or order pizza 🤷♀️ finding ways to make the task less daunting and forgiving myself for not being like everyone else has helped my depression so much
@@jennytimelord9689 exactly! Tasks have to be broken down so the steps don’t seem too complicated at once, but the list doesn’t have to be too long or I just give up hope. I don’t know why, or how to stop it. But that’s depression for you.
Also, my doctor now thinks it could be ASD so I’m going through the process of testing for that at the moment. Luckily here in the Netherlands we all have insurance and almost all mental health care (that I have needed anyways) is covered by it.
I always feed my pets before I eat, because they can’t feed themselves, it’s all up to me! It feels more respectful for me, personally, to make sure the creatures in my house under my care eat first!
Ah that shallow pantry is so satisfying! I find the deep cupboards with my tins etc in stressful!
I literally opened TH-cam thinking "I wish someone would make a video called 'things in my autistic home that just make sense'"!!! what wonderful timing, i'm about to move out of my parents' house and was needing some inspiration on how to make my home autism-friendly!
Wow you just made me realize why I have a full set of vintage glass dishes from my grandma that I love but me and my boyfriend only use the 4 plastic bowls I got from target. The glass one are too damn loud. lol
Glass and ceramics are kind of a pain haha. They're superior in many ways but they're way more prone to clunkiness and noise :/
Same I love the plastic type ones
I hate the texture of plastic. I rather hear clanking. Weird how opposite things bother us!
I’m just finding out I went my whole life misdiagnosed after I had a pretty bad burnout after moving out and working A LOT with too much change and trouble in all aspects. I’ve been feeling so lost at the thought of everything there is to reverse after all this time so I can function, but then I found these videos. I have never felt so fucking understood after all of these years. I’ve felt so alone and lost, lately, but I can’t thank you enough for helping to guide me in the right direction for things I can do to make myself feel understood.
Hi Paige! I have been following you for some time and your videos are so helpful to me as a thirteen year old who might possibly have autism, but haven’t been diagnosed yet. I am a lot like you. I can function socially just fine, but have many other autism symptoms such as sensory issues and rigidity in schedule. Thank you so much for all you do and I wish you the best. Also, I’m so proud of you. I remember watching the video long ago where you mentioned how you may never be able to live alone, and look at you now!
hey dude, I'll be praying we both get our diagnosis soon! something i always remind myself is that it's super important to self-advocate during the process. I've been fighting for a diagnosis for a while now, but no one is listening to what I have to say :/
hey :) i am another autistic human. read your comment and just wanted to let you know that functioning labels don't exist. many autistics don't like them for different reasons. If you are autistic, welcome to the community :) (this is not intended to be mean, just informative)
@@melissmanda i was tempted to say that too but i wasnt sure how it would come off but thanks for saying it for me lol :3
i need a diagnosis too
i have adhd but im trying to fight for a diagnosis for autism but no one cares because they think girls cant have it
@@melissmanda Yeah, ik, but I just wanted to say why it has been a struggle finding a diagnosis. I’ll edit it tho, bc u are right.
the lamp and mirror thing hit different though i never correlate the "weird" stuff i do with autism but every time i watch your videos it starts to make sense
Everything out in the open is something I’ve only learned as an actual strategy this year, and finally started arranging my house based on that. I put a little wire shelf wrack in my bathroom to put all my bathroom stuff instead of in cabinets or all over the counter (because then I never clean the countertop) and little CLEAR plastic drawers for little things. Also took the doors off my closets because I need to put stuff in there but if they have a door it becomes a black hole lol
Also if you have trouble with stuff piling up on the floor try getting those little collapsible storage cubes and literally just throw everything on the floor into those cubes and even if you leave them on the floor it still feels 10 times more organized and less overwhelming when it’s all contained but the open top lets you see that yes there are things in there so they don’t cease to exist
I keep a little handheld vacuum next to my bed because I can’t stand any grit in my bed and my pets sleep in my bed so washing the sheets once a week isn’t enough. We (me and my pets) all hate the sound but I don’t have to spend twenty minutes scouring my bed for grains of sand
And last thing I can think of is keeping food around that is nutritious that you like but requires absolutely no preparation for those times that you can hardly bring yourself to do anything. For me this is triscuits, cheese sticks, and pre-sliced apples. I can just open my fridge, see a cheese stick, rip it open and shove it in my face
Yesss. I love easy snacks. I don't ever want to go through too many steps. Like recently my parents bought some pizza rolls for the Super Bowl, and I ate them as snacks because I could just toss like 12 of them in the air fryer for a couple minutes, and toss them onto a plate. I ended up eating them pretty much by myself, and they're all gone now.
For meat eaters, pre-sliced salami! A meal can be crackers, salami, and raw veggies or fruits!
I find spicy salami, cheese slices and blueberries perfect for my super depressed times. The spicy makes me eat cheese then the cheese is a little too cloying so I eat the blueberries. It gets me protein, fat and nutrients (blueberries), requires no prep, is a pincer grip (for a while I did not want anything that was not pincer grip - so no large fruit etc) and I can give up on eating whenever andnput it away, only having to finish my current slice. Roast beef and berries also works good, but no need for cheese (fat) then
oh my goodness! The handheld vacuum is a brilliant idea! (Same about the grit and the pets.)
Cheese sticks and Triscuits are standard for me also. I just eat the whole apple though.
A doing the dishes game changer for me has been getting a bristle brush with a handle on it instead of using sponges! That way my hands stay well away from the water and the potential muck AND I avoid touching water logged sponges which are yikes for sensory reasons 😅
I only wash the dishes with a brush too. I have problems with dry skin and eczema on my hands and this way, I don't have to touch the water as much. Plus what you said about wet sponges.
Wait, Americans use sponges?! Why? xD
@@whathappenedtomyyoutubehandle most people I know here in Germany do too, including my parents. I think it can be more thorough and faster. It's not completely soft sponges but a bit scrubby on one side.
@@zuppilup Here in the Netherlands most people exclusively use brushes. They are so standard that our name for them is "dishwashing brush". I'm honestly surprised Germans don't have the same practices😅. Wait do you guys use the scrub part of the sponge to wash pans?😬 That has to be damaging
@@whathappenedtomyyoutubehandle we also call them Spülbürste (dishwashing brush). It's just that a lot of people i know have both and/or predominantly use the sponge.
I'm not sure the brush is so gentle on the nonstick pans either😅
Same about big lights. It’s just so bright and stressful, I feel like I’m a small prey in a vast field with no cover. And I love small lights concentrated in the area I’m doing things. Like, if I’m cooking (which is a rare occasion, I visit my kitchen approximately 2 times a week lol) I want only my stove and kitchen counter to be illuminated with everything else being in shadows. And when I serve the food, the lights are on above the dining table and the rest is turned off. It helps me focus on the thing I want/need to do.
And the tips you gave at the beginning is something I also came up with recently. Too bad I rent my apartment, so I can’t really change stuff here. However, I may get my own home in a couple of years, so, at the positive side, I have more time to think about it (sike, I’ll crunch everything in the last moment).
The more I watch your videos, the more (I hope it’s appropriate to say) I feel validated as a self-diagnosed person with a sort of imposter syndrome due to having no option (i really hope it’s temporary) to get assessed. (Basically, ADHD and autism exist only for children in my country, also, meds are banned here as “psychostimulants”, and if someone who was diagnosed as autistic in the childhood survives till 18 years old, pretty often their diagnose is changed to mental retardation or schizophrenia)
Because of that, I feel like I’m being unfair to “real autistic people” when I consider myself being autistic too. So I need regular reminders that I indeed have same struggles in everyday life and it’s just so reassuring to hear and watch. Thank you.
Do you mind if I ask what country you're in?
If you have mostly hard floors I’d def recommend getting a swiffer! Super easy to just slap on a dry or wet cloth, swing it around, and boom clean! Takes far less time than vacuuming or sweeping and a lot easier physically and sensory-wise
Thank you so much for this!! I recently moved and I’ve felt so lost when it comes to making this space my own. My mom was a hoarder and my dad had severe depression and kept really dirty living spaces so I really have no idea what I’m doing. My only examples have not been good ones. This video helps soo much in giving me lots of ideas and direction in moving forward. Thank you again and I hope you have a great weekend 💓
I'm a neurodivergent myself coming from an unhealthy situation emotionally. I can't even begin to describe things or else I fall back into anger mode. Let's just say my own parents are similar to yours, except my dad is the dirty, lazy hoarder. Ugh. 🙄🤢 My saving graces in working out the best ways for me to deal with housekeeping have actually been my boss, and another neurodivergent coworker of mine. He's actually a bit like me in the brain wiring department (high-functioning Asperger's), and my friend is more ADHD. Both have given me ideas on how to separate myself from my family, housekeeping-wise. In all reality, my boss feels like he should be my real dad. He's got his ego issues like anyone else, but unlike my biological dad, my boss is not a narcissistic sort. And my friend is like a mom and sister all in one. I love em both to bits. 🥰
My point of replying was to suggest you find someone you look up to, not just online, but in person, whose ways of doing things feel right to you, as opposed to repeating old family patterns. Trust me -- this actually helps, even if you don't always interact with them.
For papers, I find a date stamp and a set of file folders to be very useful. I date stamp everything with the date I receive it, and start a new folder every 6 months. Because of how my brain works, this is what works for me. Something different might work for you.
@@a.katherinesuetterlin3028 thanks so much for this advice! I’m really glad you have found a solid support system!
@@robertlozyniak3661 thank you so much for this advice! I’m so fortunate that most of my paperwork documents are online, so not much paper here.
@@victoriap1649 Hello again. 😁 Funny how the spectrum works. Some things I don't mind being online, like online payments, but I much prefer, usually, to have physical bills mailed to me. Thing is, I love nature just as much, and if I can save a tree, I will. 😅
Alarms for everything! If I need to cook but will but out and about make an alarm for that before I leave, an alarm for when to do the dishes when I am busy, an alarm to let me know that I need to take a break now when I work, alarm for skincare, etc.
I don't know if this is the case with your cat, but sometimes when cat poop smells just terrible, it could be that his body isn't processing the food very well, so looking into changing up his food to something else might fix this a bit. If he still has the issue, it might not be food and could be something a vet should look into. Then again, it could just be a normal thing for him. Just thought I'd let you know.
Yes! Certain foods give my cats dead corpse poops, you’ve got to find the right one and you hardly notice the poops!
Otoh, if his food changes to where she can't smell the end result, she may actually forget to change the litter, unless she puts the litter box out in the open. Cats don't like dirty litter boxes any more than we like our own toilets to be dirty. 😅
It might be a healthier though like grain free if it makes it smell less.
@@a.katherinesuetterlin3028 I guess it could then be something becomes part of the routine with an alarm or other external reminder.
when i tell you my jaw DROPPED when u talked about putting the mustard in the drawer??? ingenious omg might have to steal this 👀
OMG and the hating pitch blackness toooo, just jolted me into more realizations about myself
like, the lack of sensory stimuli going into my eyeballs makes me panick every time 😭
id love to see a crystal collection vid. I like to collect them too (I specifically collect gems colored by iron)
I love her room soo much its not really my aesthetic im more of an alternative person i just love the way its set up with the large bed and the lights
my closet is organized by rainbow because it pleases me when i walk in there and see it
That’s an awesome idea!!
@@victoriap1649 it helps when i need to calm down
to see something that is perfectly organized so...
I have a list taped to my cupboard of meals I know how to cook - it's a lot easier to motivate myself to eat dinner when I have all my options on one place.
another tip about the fridge is to attach little pictures of all the items inside to the outside door. it helps remind you of what is inside before you open the door and become overwhelmed. there are some super cute food magnets out there that would work too!
i’ve seen people “split” the door down the middle and use one side as the “in the fridge” section, and the other as the “need to buy” section as well, to work as a shopping list and fridge preview at once.
i completely understand having kids vitamins! I'm autistic myself and the vitamins for kids are literally so much cooler and fun!
I buy the adult gummy vitamins because kids have different nutritional needs.
I am autistic, but I do not live alone. I have smaller neurodivergent humans to care for (one autistic, one ADHD). So that means LOTS of things to remember, appointments, meals, etc. I found that writing lists made me more overwhelmed, so I switched to digital, and I use a productivity app, and I can set alarms in it to remind me to do things when they need to be done. I use Habitica, because it looks like a video game, but I'm sure there are lots of different free ones out there. It takes a bit to set it up, and I'd encourage a user to try different things, and take a break when you need to, I definitely needed to, but once I had it arranged the way I want it, life got easier.
Thank you! I'm going to give it a try. I'm a single mom with q special needs child (ADHD, ODD, ASD, POTS) and the younger is in testing and I have my own stuff going on, so I am struggling with all these appointments! I'm also often on call for work so I have to keep organized so I'm not going on and missing something. I'll try anything! I find making lists helps (like a brain dump, helps me organize my thoughts) but 95% of the time, I never look at them again 🤷♀️
I don't think I'm autistic but I'm 17 and thinking about having to move out when I get older makes me so anxious... Watching this reduced some of that because seeing you so aware of what works for you and solving problems so confidently makes me believe that I can do that too, so thanks for making this video and being awesome as usual!!
I use little boxes for my meds & vitamins so I don't forget if I've taken them already. Each day of the week is a little separate container (with 2 compartments) that I can take out and put back once I've taken the meds that I need to that day. When the container is empty, I take out the one for the next day. That way I know if I took them already or not. It has helped a lot
I can’t afford to live alone and I have 4 roommates. We’re all some flavor of neurodivergent and often our needs clash. I can’t load the dishwasher the way I want to, I barely go in the living room because bright overhead lights make me headachey and tired, but one of my roommate’s depression is triggered if they don’t have bright lights. It’s difficult and frustrating. Sometimes it feels like their needs are more of a priority than mine and i don’t know how to voice that without coming off as mean, so I haven’t said anything 😬
I don't often comment but thanks for a lovely video, some great ideas. Might I suggest a tray or similar hard surface for your devices while charging overnight. Or a shelf just above the sockets. Charging on a soft surface like a bed or sofa can be a fire hazard.
That condiment drawer idea is genius! I'm totally stealing that when I get my own place!
ADHDer here - the fear of dishes falling on your head is so real!!!
saw someone else say this in a video but I know it applies, having doubles of things so you don't have to go to another room, for instance having band-aids in several bathrooms or maybe several rooms, having a box with cleaning supplies on both floor or in different corners of the home, just making it easier so you can get something done if you're in the kitchen and need to clean but the supplies are in a cabinet far away
Omg it’s so cool to see other adults doing things like this too. I’ve been told I’m “childish” or “weird” to only be able to use reusable plastic children’s plates, bowls, cutlery etc. My cupboards are full of them because it makes eating so much comfier haha. Anyways it’s super cool to see fellow autistic people using their platforms to show that it’s ok to need different things sometimes 💕
Paige! I hope if you have a good experience if you chose to have your wisdom teeth removed💗. I got all 4 of my wisdom teeth removed yesterday, as a neuro divergent person it was really hard to tolerate the noises, sensations and having doctors really up close. Still, the doctors were super nice, they were tolerant and respectful once I explained the situation. They reminded me to breath in frecunetly and even let me have a little brake to cry without judgement. I wish everyone could explain such empathy in the medical care industry, particularly as someone on the spectrum.
I'm surprised they kept you conscious to remove all four. When I had mine out they put me under. They had me count down from 10 (I got to 8), and the next thing I knew they were waking me up and it was all over. 10/10 would recommend.
Maybe not so helpful for you, but anyone else reading this, if you need your wisdom teeth out, have them put you under.
@@thevirtualtraveler I wish I had the option to do so, but my country (Uruguay) is really particular with administrating anesthesia or putting someone under. I would also totally recommend getting put under if you have the option available :-))
ouch 😫 I remember when I had to get my wisdom teeth removed when I was 16, and the next week or so was absolute hell. and that was WITH the anesthesia, I couldn't imagine actually the pain of being awake for the actual procedure. I'd probably be traumatized, I won't lie. even with the nice doctors, I'm sorry to hear about your experience and I hope the pain is gone.
@@thetonytaye I'm sorry you went through that! luckily I had an okay time and overall it was a positive experience on the long run, thank you for the kind reply! 😊
When I had my wisdom teeth out, they asked if I wanted a general or a local. I told em to knock me out. I didn't want to hear all those icky noises. 😅😜
I am not autistic, but as an ADHD Libra I think all of these tips are useful. I'm particularly a fan of keep it in sight. Out of sight out of mind. And I love pleasant sensory input, so soft things, good smells, and lots of art are my way of life (that's the Libra coming out).
Having things organized so you can see everything is what I want in my life. I'm definitely taking the condiments idea from you, because I keep forgetting the food that's in the drawers... ToT
so many things I wouldn't have even thought of!!!! with "small" stuff --- like dishes clanging bothering me, and not brushing my teeth bc my toothbrush isn't out on the counter in front of my face --- I've just told myself that I suck at being a human and I should be able to do those things like everyone else. THANK YOU for showing me that accommodating myself is a good thing : ) and for showing me some ways to do it! definitely going to get bamboo dishes for my new house : )
As someone with OCD I never realized how similar my sensory related tendencies are to someone who has autism. The clanging of dishes and the dark and a bunch of other things you named all stress me out and make me feel overwhelmed too. I don’t know if thats what those things make you feel, but it’s still interesting to know that our sensory tendencies are similar.
This girl also has OCD
This is helpful for the day I hopefully one day can live alone. I often think it's not possible but seeing other autistic ppl do it really helps
I just had to do an emergency move after a storm blew a tree onto our apartment roof and busted it open, and I found this trying to calm down after like a week straight of panicking and just going going going so I didn't have time to break down and this video literally felt like I got scooped up and hugged and told everything was gonna be alright. Something about your personality and bubbly way of speaking is just so enrapturing and inspiring that I just feel safe. Instant subscribe
I just stumble across your channel and OMG I LOVE YOUR VIDEO! you're the absolute cutest!
As an autistic with adhd(still live wth my parents i’m 18) except for my makeup which is very organized pretty much all my room is a mess like my closet it’s like a war happening there i mean i do organize it every couple weeks(ion got time for more like i have so many exams going on now) but after a couple weeks it turn into a mess again. My room is like really white and Grey and baby pink(u now peaceful colors) and i thrown there some bright hot pink drapes that my neurotypical family say it hurt they eyes looking at them especially since i keep my drapes closed unless i do homework or my makeup however to me somehow those drapes are the most sensory pleasing stuff(i’m kinda sensory seekin when it come to color like the Bolder the better)
I move into my own place for the first time in two weeks and my lil ND brain is ESTATIC!!!!!!
I don't watch tv, so instead I am turning my bedroom into a den, and the living room I'm leaving spacious and investing in big mirrors to watch myself in movement (I practice flow arts) and hand drums for guests to play with if over. Christmas lights and different color changing LED strips will line each ceiling. Plants and crystals will hang from shelves I'll be mounting to the walls. There are lots of windows for natural sunshine which helps my bipolar. And in every room but the living room (I'll need the hardwood for movement exercise) I'll be placing different textured rugs for all my lil toes enjoyment! I am excited to have my own space, as I am vegan and plastic free (mostly cause my OCD feel toxined by poor non-holistic choices) so I'll finally be away in an area where I can have my patterns and routines of compost and vegan friendly items and not have to be around all of my roommates clutter and junk food.
I am proud of you being so independent and understanding yourself more and more each day!!
not autistic but i have adhd. I'm so jealous that you have a dishwasher. i beyond hate washing the dishes by hand for two reasons and they are sensory issues and my nemesis, executive dysfunction. So the dirty dishes just pile up which upsets me but wet food scraps upset me even more. Wearing gloves and an apron helps a bit but its just the sight and the smells and my sleeves getting wet and if dirty water splashes on my face. I dont even know what that is about because i'm okay with cleaning toilets and such....
I swear the criteria for my next apartment is only one thing. Dishwasher.
Loving the insight! I've been really interested in different living arrangements lately! It's really eye opening just how much can be done in so many different ways, not just what I grew up with.
i really like this video! i am not autistic but i do enjoy to learn more and how to be considerate. i do like the mats in the kitchen but the bamboo plates make my hair stand and get goosebumps because of the sliding sound. i never liked that sound, it reminds me of chalk on the board in school.
I relate to the lights thing so much! I have curtain lights and other twinkly lights and several ring lights in my office, where I work from home full-time. I have twinkly lights and lamps in our bedroom, lamps in our living room, and so on. The only place I have not yet figured out alternative lighting for is the kitchen, and often times I find myself making snacks in the pitch dark at night because that’s when I eat, and I do not want to turn the overhead on. Seeing your lights under your cabinets inspires me!
A tip that I have for you regarding the vacuum making noise that bothers you is to get some sort of robot vacuum! It is literally a life changer. Not only has it made a huge difference regarding keeping up with the pet hair in my house, that I was forcing myself to vacuum several times a day, but it is so quiet! I happened to get mine like 50% off due to a Walmart rollback a few days ago, so it was $125 instead of $300 and some odd change. It’s a Eufy! On another noise note, ever since I was a very young child I have been physically incapable of handling the sound of a traditional coffee maker. My partner makes coffee every morning and I always make sure to be in a different room, either with headphones on or with something else distracting me from the noise. The sound of a coffee maker causes me physical pain that I don’t know that anybody other than another autistic would understand! While I don’t have the same sensory triggers that you do, it’s really amazing to see somebody like me talking about it so openly and I really appreciate you for it.
I’ve also always struggled massively with showering, not with hygiene in general but was showering specifically. I wash my face twice a day, I do masks, I get manicures and pedicures, sometimes I wear make up/sometimes I don’t, but I always do skin care in the morning and at night; showering/forcing myself to shower regularly is a struggle. It was already a struggle before my physical health started declining but now it is one of the biggest triggers for one of my physical health issues, and I’m really hoping that getting a shower chair is going to help! I implore everybody that has issues showering to consider a shower chair and a showerhead that has a detachable hose so you can sit down and relax while showering. After experiencing this during my last inpatient hospitalization for my physical health, I realized that the combination is a game changer. For me, it’s a mobility and cardiac thing paired with a sensory thing, but for you it could really help with your sensory issues as well, whomever you might be reading this!
Lastly, if anybody has any advice regarding decision paralysis or task paralysis, I would greatly appreciate it. For example, if I have something planned at 3 PM and I’m awake at 9 AM, I legitimately feel like I have to lie in bed doing absolutely nothing for those six hours because I can’t do anything before the thing that I have scheduled. I’m pretty certain it’s an autistic thing, but I could be wrong. I’m also pretty certain it’s associated with ADHD.
Again, thank you so much for posting these videos! I wasn’t diagnosed until I was almost 30 and I will be 33 in a couple of months. It’s really incredible seeing people younger than I am being such strong advocates for our community.
I saw on tiktok a really good hack to get up, when your scrolling on your phone and your thinkn man i really need to get up, but you can't, if you hold your breath on the limit, you kind off trigger a urgency mechanism and then you get up, it's really crazy and really works
I love mirrors too! I find my reflection very reassuring. I am also much better at seeing how I feel in my reflection compared to knowing how I feel... mirrors allow me to see when I'm too tired, too depressed, too tense or if I'm feeling confident, in good shape, happy, etc. It also allows me to be aware of the state of my skin (which gets very dry and painfull if I don't take proper care)
There is nothing more personal than the space you call home - thank you for sharing these tips, tricks, and routines.
I'll never understand why medicine cabinets are in the bathroom, because humidity and temperature changes can affect some meds.
I like using wireless headphones to blast music that makes me happy when I have to vacuum or do a chore a hate or that makes a noise I hate.
I am not an autistic person, but YT recommended this video to me so I watched out of curiosity. And then I saw in your description box that you are in Lindsay! What a small world...I grew up in Lindsay🤗
Great video. The bit about having everything out where you can see it was interesting. Just moved from a studio flat into a house with multiple rooms: it's been five months and I still find it a very disorienting experience - I keep forgetting to do things because all the tools to do those things are hidden away in different rooms!
As someone who may or may not be autistic but definitely has freakishly sensitive ears, I have found that the iRobot Roomba vacuums aren’t as loud. The only time they bother my ears are when they go back to the home base to be emptied, but that’s only about 10 seconds so I plug my ears when that happens 👍🏻
Also, where did you get the bamboo dishes? That is a genius idea!
Our local Loblaws sold them.. She also has bamboo salad bowls and strainer. They are cool. I don’t think they are microwaveable though.
The condiments in the fridge drawer idea is so genius and I have the same problem
Please please be careful with charging items and having plugs on your bed, they can over heat and catch fire x
I am neurotypical but this was the best, most helpful video ever. THOSE BAMBOO DISHES AND THE NON SLIP PADS!!!!!! GENIUS. I could really use a swing ... and that shallow pantry! Ugh i just love everything about your house! I am so indecisive with furniture!!! AH!
Please note I too am an adult and use my adult money to pay for childrens vitamins.
Sending you love and thank you for sharing!
Love seeing this! I moved into my first real home two years ago (lived in student housing before that), and I did many of the same things you did. I loved decorating my house, and someone who’d just walk in here wouldn’t necessarily know that it’s setup for an autistic person (I have a lot of colour for instance, but it all matches so it makes me happy). But I have things like open shelving with jars that are all in their respective place, warm lightbulbs everywhere except for task lights, blackout curtains in my bedroom, and things are organised such that they *ideally* stay in their place. I need to look at implementing the as few steps to finish a task as possible thing, that’s something I struggle with too.
I like lots of color too.
This is so useful, I struggle so hard with organising. I'm very visual too and if I don't see it it doesn't exist unless I randomly remember usual at an inappropriate time and by time I need to remember I'm off on something else and the other thing goes out the window. Making things visible with open shelves and shallow pantry is awesome Def want to use that. when m in the kitchen I like to wear headphones to block out all the horrible kitchen sounds. I hope one day I can have things set up like this. I'm still in a rough place trying to get diagnosed and dealing with constant burnout and multiple co-morbid mental illness. I feel stuck like nothing will ever get better. I know it will take time and nobody gets there all at once. Your by far one of the best Autism vloggers I've found and I'm so grateful to find someone I can relate to, like and learn from. 💜🖖
I absolutely despise doing dishes, so I wait until all my dishes are used before I wash them… so when I lived by myself I only bought a max of 2 of anything: 2 forks, knives, spoons, bowls, plates, cups, mugs. And only one set of pots and pans and cooking utensils. (Two of things only because I only ever had one guest over at a time that I was willing to cook for and having only 2 of anything, even by myself, made it to where I had to do dishes every day, no matter what. I also had a quiet dishwasher though, so that was a big plus.
I also have light sensitivity so I rarely turned my lights on and just cracked the blinds for natural light, and I used melamine dishes instead of glass or ceramic because I also hate the clanky dishes noise 🤣
I didn’t have the litter box cabinet, but where my closet was, I was able to put the cat box in front of it to remind me to empty it when I would get dressed in the am.
And all this was before I knew I was autistic 😅
I had shortcuts and reminders set up all over the place so I could “adult” my way through life without having too much difficulty
I don't live alone but some things that help me just in my room is to have a headband and hair tie in every area of my room I frequent (since hair in my face can be a big sensory issue) as well as something to fiddle with since I tend to forget to stim and don't realize until I feel real bad. I also have multiple alarms on my phone just for the purpose of telling me what time it is since I have a poor sense of time. I'm still new and coming to terms and embracing my neurodivergency, but these are some things that help me :)
I never knew about bamboo dishes, I hate so much the sound of normal ones but thought I had to deal with that as there wasn’t another option that wasn’t plastic. Also the lists is something I should do! I never thought of it, but it could help a whole lot. Your house is so lovely 💕.
Omg I have the exact same astral realms oracle deck! It's so beautiful - I'm obsessed with the gold foiling on the corners. Also I'm definitely the same with avoiding turning on the main lights if I can help it. At the moment I don't have many side lights but it's my goal to fill my new house with ambient lighting that's not too harsh because I'm super light sensitive and also it'll just help in terms of when I'm streaming on Twitch.
I love the list thing though! I'm always wanting to make a list of things to do but my laptop or phone isn't the best because I'm not actively looking at it all the time - I need to do that where I have little note pads or something in every room. That's such a good idea!
As always, love watching your videos! It makes me feel like I'm not alone in the way that I am and what I do to cope with certain things. It's great!
The condiment thing makes so much sense WOW
Thank you so much for putting yourself out there for the education of others. I swear, i would be so lost if not for you and some others that give autism/adhd tips . I get so overwhelmed with all the tasks that it takes to perform one action that my room typically just looks unruly. I can’t imagine living on my own yet 🥺
PAIGE IS BACK!
*jumps onto chair, exposes midsection, and flails arm like puppy waiting to be pet*
Maybe you should say *Exposes tummy* lmao
@@koffinkat666 I was picturing a praying mantis abdomen and flailing arms.
I’m not finished watching but this video has been nothing short of eye opening and, oddly, exciting ! I am getting closer to when I considered moving out, and that getting closer made me so nervous for the longest time, but this broke things down in a way that made me excited to figure out what I needed to figure out in my own home as an autistic person to set me up for success ! (The mats for plates in the cabinets is a gr8 idea btw!! And I love the corner bed !!)
THANK YOU!!! It’s funny you post a video about this. I was trying to find the video of where you mentioned your plates before because I’m trying to find bamboo plates for myself because I’ve been trying to make the kitchen a more sensory and welcoming place to be so that way it may inspire me to eat more or cook more. I myself rarely visit the kitchen.
I love these videos Paige, I have ADHD and can relate with a lot of the things that you do to make your space friendlier for your needs. I would like to share some of the things that have helped me. I hope someone find them useful.
- I have a laundry hamper on my bedroom, so my dirty clothes go there once I take them out of my body, instead of ending in the floor. That has being life changing.
- I have drawer organizers and organizer boxes in each drawer, and cabinet. Having things pre-sorted helps me a lot, since I get very overwhelmed With clutter.
- I have soft blankets around the house, in the sofas, and beds. I always like to sit or lay with a soft and warm blanket.
- I have a hanging hook organizer by the front door where I can hang my purse, with my keys, wallet, mask, etc. so I don’t forget what I need to go out and everything is in the same place
- I have those medicine containers separated by day of the week, so I know when I have and haven’t take my medicine. I help myself with an alarm too.
- I don’t like the bright lights either and turning on lamps is inconvenient for me when I walk at night around the house. I have a “Smoko” lamp that I carry out with me while I walk around the house, it has a soft light that doesn’t hurt my eyes.
Thank you for your hard work, I have learnt a lot watching your channel.