I'm 64 years old and decided when I was 8 that I would never have kids. Never changed my mind and the more I'm around my youngest nieces 6 and 4 year old I'm never been more sure it's the right thing. I decided when I was 12 I'd never get married. Never changed my mind about that either. Another good decision
41 year old woman. I'm a teacher. Kids freaking love me. Got my tubes tied at 33 (after years of begging!). Love them but they can go home and leave me alone.
If I were the kids in that family I would tell my mother if she's so desperate to have kids, go ahead and have them herself. There are a lot of lonely children in foster care and in orphanages.
next time your parents demand more grandchildren...ask them first to give you $75,000 for each extra grandchildren..school fees, extra clothes, extra groceries, health care, dental care...etc...etc...and tell them that is a bargain?
They Need to respect Opie’s boundaries ,they have grand children and no, you’re not owned grandchildren. There’s helping out and then there’s not letting a person have a life she had plans she couldn’t do it plain and simple. Don’t make a mountain out of a hill.
I’m always ranting about AI but this story is so true life. My wife is so angry that my youngest daughter is child free for life. I’m ok with it and glad she made the decision. It’s not this bad but it’s obvious.
People who only respect you when you do what they want do not, in fact, EVER respect you. Now explain to me precisely WHY you can't just pack up and move without informing some other people who don't live with you? I don't care who they are. As an adult you actually CAN just pack up and move. You can really do that. It's legal and everything! Pack up, get everything headed to where you are going.....if you REALLY feel like you HAVE to talk to them then do so on your way out of town! I have to admit here, after that last manipulative trick, I'd have moved, had a wedding they weren't invited to and, in about a year, posted photos of myself with a baby.....not claiming it's mine.....just holding one and looking happy. One thing those parents failed to grasp in their push to get OP and her brothers to have (more) children: Just because your kids have them it doesn't necessarily mean you will have access to them! I'd drive them insane with photos of me with babies, small children....etc. OP is bound to have a friend with kids that she can be an extra "auntie" or Godmother to!
I don't understand this need of " sitting down the parents " for anything that doesn't concern their life directly . You don't need to announce that you are child free . If asked when you'll have kids , then yes say you won't ever . But don't make it something that they have power over . If you don't make an " announ cement " they'll see how you life doesn't aim toward having kids year after year ( or decade after decade ) .
Children are wonderful. I have two and would rather have had four. But that is me; nobody else is obligated to see children the same way. OP needs to tell he yentas to stay in their lane. If adult children are not autonomous and able to make their own decisions then their parent have failed them. Owe them? It's not the children that have an obligation. Love and duty are not transactional. I do things for my girls because I love them, not for a quid pro quo. Baby sitting should be arranged by the parents. OP's parents have no business being intermediaries. It is manipulative, and OP shold automatically say *no* to every baby sitting request that does not come directly from the parents.
My mom had me to have a do-over and raised me to be co-dependent on her. But not once did she ever tell me I “owed” her anything. Deciding to be a parent means choosing to raise and support your child until they have the tools to live their own lives on their terms. Children owe their parents nothing.
You don't owe them anything if they want more grand children than they can have them and don't be free baby sitting for these idiots and stand your ground and get away from these crazy parents should keep their opinions to their self
Still childfree at 60. Never changed my mind. Oh, and every moment spent with a child affirmed I made the right choice for myself.
I'm 64. Same here❤
Same here, 60s. It's hilarious to think that spending more time with kids could ever make me want them. Quite the opposite!
ZZ
I'm 64 years old and decided when I was 8 that I would never have kids. Never changed my mind and the more I'm around my youngest nieces 6 and 4 year old I'm never been more sure it's the right thing. I decided when I was 12 I'd never get married. Never changed my mind about that either. Another good decision
41 year old woman. I'm a teacher. Kids freaking love me. Got my tubes tied at 33 (after years of begging!). Love them but they can go home and leave me alone.
You never owe grandchildren.
If I were the kids in that family I would tell my mother if she's so desperate to have kids, go ahead and have them herself. There are a lot of lonely children in foster care and in orphanages.
next time your parents demand more grandchildren...ask them first to give you $75,000 for each extra grandchildren..school fees, extra clothes, extra groceries, health care, dental care...etc...etc...and tell them that is a bargain?
Not nearly enough to do right by the child by an order of magnitude.
They Need to respect Opie’s boundaries ,they have grand children and no, you’re not owned grandchildren. There’s helping out and then there’s not letting a person have a life she had plans she couldn’t do it plain and simple. Don’t make a mountain out of a hill.
Your parents should be charged. Forcing free child care. Labor is not free
OP, your parents can't force you to have kids & your relatives are evil!!
Why even explain your views to them? Just keep going the way you are, brush them off, and don’t babysit anymore…
When they try to give that money just tell them. (The Parents)Use it for your funeral arrangements and walk out the door.
I’m always ranting about AI but this story is so true life. My wife is so angry that my youngest daughter is child free for life. I’m ok with it and glad she made the decision. It’s not this bad but it’s obvious.
People who only respect you when you do what they want do not, in fact, EVER respect you.
Now explain to me precisely WHY you can't just pack up and move without informing some other people who don't live with you? I don't care who they are. As an adult you actually CAN just pack up and move. You can really do that. It's legal and everything! Pack up, get everything headed to where you are going.....if you REALLY feel like you HAVE to talk to them then do so on your way out of town!
I have to admit here, after that last manipulative trick, I'd have moved, had a wedding they weren't invited to and, in about a year, posted photos of myself with a baby.....not claiming it's mine.....just holding one and looking happy.
One thing those parents failed to grasp in their push to get OP and her brothers to have (more) children: Just because your kids have them it doesn't necessarily mean you will have access to them! I'd drive them insane with photos of me with babies, small children....etc. OP is bound to have a friend with kids that she can be an extra "auntie" or Godmother to!
Karen and Mike, who the F are they.
I don't understand this need of " sitting down the parents " for anything that doesn't concern their life directly . You don't need to announce that you are child free . If asked when you'll have kids , then yes say you won't ever . But don't make it something that they have power over . If you don't make an " announ cement " they'll see how you life doesn't aim toward having kids year after year ( or decade after decade ) .
wrong, they have no power at all, but the idiots do not understand that !
Children are wonderful. I have two and would rather have had four. But that is me; nobody else is obligated to see children the same way. OP needs to tell he yentas to stay in their lane. If adult children are not autonomous and able to make their own decisions then their parent have failed them.
Owe them? It's not the children that have an obligation. Love and duty are not transactional. I do things for my girls because I love them, not for a quid pro quo.
Baby sitting should be arranged by the parents. OP's parents have no business being intermediaries. It is manipulative, and OP shold automatically say *no* to every baby sitting request that does not come directly from the parents.
My mom had me to have a do-over and raised me to be co-dependent on her. But not once did she ever tell me I “owed” her anything. Deciding to be a parent means choosing to raise and support your child until they have the tools to live their own lives on their terms. Children owe their parents nothing.
Buy the parents a child care centre. Humps all!
You don't owe them anything if they want more grand children than they can have them and don't be free baby sitting for these idiots and stand your ground and get away from these crazy parents should keep their opinions to their self