To threaten me into silence, I was told numerous times, "God will send tormentors." My need to think, talk, feel, process in order to understand, was being denied me, and it was christians I had been smeared to, believing they were correcting me, sending the tormentors. I have been tortured, my health destroyed, my entire life destroyed.
I spent 3 years in a HCR reformed Calvinist church. Constant torment about if I was really saved, since “God chooses you” and you can’t save yourself, I would try so hard to “work out my salvation” in hopes that “God” would grant me the assurance of salvation I would seek. It never happened. I got married because it was “Gods will” I am so miserable in my marriage and now I have 2 kids to think. About. If it wasn’t for the theology, that says “your heart is desperately wicked” you can’t trust yourself. I would not have married her, but I w are just not compatible
Islam teaches that our inherent soul is wicked. That tore me up as I was trying to a perfectionist muslimah. I went around thinking I'm horrible because my soul is bad and I spent so much time trying to do as much good deeds as possible so allah wouldn't send me to hell or punish me during death or in my grave.
Marlene’s example of the monster and the frog made my inner child giggle. I admire this extraordinary woman dearly
So do I. Thanks for watching.
Thanks very much 👍😅❤
You're very welcome! Thanks for watching.
Thank you. How you explained it in the beginning. A mind fuck
Sorry you can relate. Thanks for watching.
The constant mental gymnastics 😮wore me out 😢😮.
You're not alone on that!
To threaten me into silence, I was told numerous times, "God will send tormentors." My need to think, talk, feel, process in order to understand, was being denied me, and it was christians I had been smeared to, believing they were correcting me, sending the tormentors. I have been tortured, my health destroyed, my entire life destroyed.
That is very sad. I hope you have support now. Thank you for watching and sharing your experience.
❤
I spent 3 years in a HCR reformed Calvinist church. Constant torment about if I was really saved, since “God chooses you” and you can’t save yourself, I would try so hard to “work out my salvation” in hopes that “God” would grant me the assurance of salvation I would seek. It never happened. I got married because it was “Gods will” I am so miserable in my marriage and now I have 2 kids to think. About. If it wasn’t for the theology, that says “your heart is desperately wicked” you can’t trust yourself. I would not have married her, but I w are just not compatible
You are definitely not the only one in this situation. You can reach out to me for support through my website www.divorcing-religion.com/
Islam teaches that our inherent soul is wicked. That tore me up as I was trying to a perfectionist muslimah. I went around thinking I'm horrible because my soul is bad and I spent so much time trying to do as much good deeds as possible so allah wouldn't send me to hell or punish me during death or in my grave.
Such beliefs are a terrible burden.