one year since coming out... what's changed?!
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- เผยแพร่เมื่อ 21 มี.ค. 2022
- My last video: • judging your unpopular...
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Where are you from?
I'm from the North of England and now live just outside of London.
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I'm currently furloughed from my usual job, so I'm youtubeing 24/7 now which is fun!
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(overall) lesbian is a noun whereas straight and gay are adjectives, which is why they feel different. It's actually decently common from what ive seen for gay women to feel weird about the lesbian label for that reason. and as to the small occasional feelings towards men - that's perfectly normal and understandable. labels should help us understand our feelings, not restrict the way we feel. really happy for you!
In my experience, lesbian can also be used as an adjective ("I am lesbian"). I do think it's more commonly used a noun, but I definitely hear it as an adjective often enough to consider it "a thing". I do feel that using it as an adjective rather than a noun feels better, like not saying that is their only identifying factor, but it is a facet of their self. Just my thoughts tho I suppose :)
You sound so happy when you were talking about your girlfriend, I'm so proud for you!! ❤
This is so cute. I love your point about when you're in a relationship and the love is so pure how could anyone have a problem with it. I feel the same. I've been with my girlfriend 9 years and we're expecting our first child in May. Its so weird that some people have a problem with us just because we've found happiness together.
Congratulations to you both!! I’m so happy for you!! Sending you all my love ♥️
@@AmyLovatt1 update: he's 16 days late but he's here ❤😅
That video is a year old?! Where has the time gone!
The way Amy talks about her girlfriend... I want that 😭
The happiness radiating off you when you talk about your relationship is the loveliest thing to see. It’s put a massive smile on my face.
Hell yeah!! You go girl!!🤘🤘🤘
Btw, so funny how you say “but”! I keep copying it😂😂
You talking about your girlfriend was honestly so cute! You look so happy 😊 I'm happy for you!
“I’m happier than I’ve ever been” and that’s all that matters hun!🤷🏻♂️❤️😌🏳️🌈👸🏻
I’m a Christian BUT I respect LGBTQ+! If you’re gay, that’s okay! I’m not gonna hate on you or try to change you because that’s low :D I’m so so happy for ya, Amy 🥹💓
Your video made me realise it was time to finally stop pushing it away and let myself just be ok with the fact I liked women. I’m so glad you are happy and thank you for being so open and supportive ❤️
This was very interesting to hear!! :) I remember being so happy when you came out, probably because around that time I was also going through a similar thing even though I'm still not out to most people in my life rn but yeah let's just say issa journey :D so I getchu and I totally relate to many things you said (sadly also the casual homophobia :/)!! Anyways I'm absolutely over the moon for you and your gf ahhh!!! 😭❤️ Literally SO adorable! :) x
Hope you are feeling happy soon, so you can come out, and finally be yourself 💗 you can't live a lie, just so you don't upset people huni - cos u are hurting yourself right now huni. I wish you all the best
Love mags x
we're so happy for you amy!! you deserve all the happiness
You really do seem to be so much happier now. You're noticeably glowing and I think that's wonderful!!!
🎶We're so happy you're so happy! Just as long as you stay happy, We'll stay happy! 🎶❤
It's great to see you so happy Amy
Lovely video. So glad to see you so happy! ❤🧡💛💚💙
You describing your valentines day date is the cutest and the absolute gayest thing I've ever heard 😂 I'm so happy for you!
I've kind of drifted away from my theatre phase recently, and as such, I've not watched many of your videos just bc theatre content doesn't interest me like it used to, but I watched this because your journey has been so lovely to watch. Seeing you flourish in your relationship and in yourself is just amazing to watch and honestly quite inspiring. Wishing you all the happiness
I’m glad you’re feeling more comfortable with yourself. Sexuality is so fluid. You don’t have to label yourself as gay or bi or pan if you don’t want to. It sounds to me like you’re describing a 5 on the Kinsey scale, but the Kinsey scale has so many levels for a reason: because sexuality is so fluid.
This is so interesting, because I went through a reaaaally similar path as yours! From identifying as bi, to dating a woman for the first time and completely missing red flags, to noticing that I absolutely don't like men that way to identifying as gay other than lesbian.
What I would say about this is that for me, it took me a really long while to get used to that word. I always heard it as either an insult or as something completely sexual, which was absolutely not what I was going for. A few years after that discovery I am now really comfortable with identifying as a lesbian, and being okay with not dating men. Although your identity may not be the same as mine, I hope it gives you a bit of comfort to know that you are not the only one being a bit icky about that word at first :)
I am also so so so happy for you and your girlfriend! I wish you both the very best!!
Omg you seem so happy talking about your girlfriend :3 I'm so happy for you both, I wish you the best of luck
Amy, thank you! I discovered your channel about a month or two before your coming out video and loved the channel then, and then that video helped me feel a stronger connection to you. I am a gay person just like you and I find both the first one and this one completely relatable! From one gay person to another, I am very happy for you and I wish you and your girlfriend well!
I'm so happy for you, Amy!! ❤
This was so genuinely wonderful and I really appreciate you being so open and sharing this part of your life with us. I am so happy you are growing into yourself and becoming the person you are feeling most comfortable being. We love you and support you. Your channel feels like a safe zone and I want to thank you for that. 🌈💕
Your eyes really sparkle when you talk about your girlfriend, I'm very happy for you two.
Also, the label thing is such a long issue, isn't it? You get a new perspective while you are living everyday and things get more complicated sometimes 🙄 why couldn't it be easier...?
I am SO HAPPY AND PROUD OF YOUUU. You talking about your girlfriend makes me so so happy and im so glad it's going well ❤️ of course there is negativity unfortunately but I am so incredibly happy that you are happy
I'm happy for you! Thanks for sharing the update. :)
So happy for you!! PS You’re so articulate, it amazes me every time! :)
Yay! I am so happy for you! You seem genuinely happy and enjoying life and that is awesome.
Awwww, I love how happy you are, it’s wonderful.
So happy for you Amy, it's so lovely to see you talk about your journey and the happiness you two share!!
i’m actually so happy for you!!!!! AHHHH i don’t know what else to say this video just makes me so giddy happy hahahah
I'm so happy for you!
It’s wonderful to see you so happy!! 💕
you look so freaking happy and this is so freaking adorable, i love that for you
It’s so good that coming out has been so good for you! I’m still trying to come to terms with my own sexuality and come out to, well, most of the people in my life (basically the only people I’m out to in some capacity are my parents and best friend) but hopefully someday I’ll feel confident enough to be able to tell people how I feel. I keep telling myself I’ll figure myself out more once I’m in a relationship of some sort but I’m way too anxious for that to ever happen - the closest I’ve come is my lengthy communication over email with this girl who’s three years younger than me that an AI matched me to and I’ve been too scared to really take that any further
Thank you for sharing so much of yourself with us and congratulations on your relationship, you light up when you talk about her 🥺 Wishing you both the best 💗
I'm so happy for you!!!!
I had somewhat a similar experience with the first woman I dated, not necessarily that i ignored red flags but I think i wanted it to work so bad and it just didn't, sadly. Your relationship gives me hope in the future that.
Im so happy for you. You are amazing :-)
Wishing you and your girlfriend all the best!❤
Welcome to our ranks!
I’m so happy for you Amy! How amazing that she’s a glee fan 🥰, match in heaven xxx
aaagghh it's so great to see you so happy when you're talking about your gf!! And about those people at work: screw them they'll have to get used to it. And they will, trust me it's all gonna be fine 😚
I relate to this so much
I totally want a battle of the super fan Gleeks between you and your girlfriend video! Maybe set up as a game show, even if she’s the mysterious opponent in silhouette!
That's so great. Congrats.
I totally understand. I train myself to use "lesbian" by saying it in front of the mirror for a few months before I felt comfortable saying out loud. It was important to me to say "lesbian" and not "gay" because I feel like the added discomfort comes from misogyny, and now I like saying that I'm also proud of being a woman while saying I'm proud of being part of the LGBTIA+ community. Plus, I think it was easier for me because I've never felt, to this day, any attraction to men. So, I came out quite young and it never felt like I might be in between labels.
However, it took me way longer than a few months after coming out to start seriously dating. So really congrats on everything, that's an amazing journey in a year.
I'm so happy for you, that you have found someone that you love and makes you incredibly lucky. I hope she is your forever person. Yay yay yay yay.
I love that your girlfriend is a fan of Glee! The way you light up when you talk about her is beautiful 🧡🧡
Very happy for you that your life is going so well!
Ooh I'm so happy for you!
I think it's very important that you mention this thing when you'd want to keep meeting/dating someone despite there being clear red flags etc. just because you're happy that you've managed to form a same-sex relationship. Of course it applies to straight people as well, but I think that it's even more important for queer people since there are less people that are attracted to the same gender and so finding a potential mate is a wonderful feeling that could easily make us look past some flaws or toxic behaviours. I know that I personally, as a gay person who hasn't been in a relationship yet, sometimes feel a bit too optimistic about a prospect of dating someone and have to keep in mind that this may not gonna work out and sometimes it's healthier to just let it go. But I also like that you appreciate the time you spent with that person, I think that any experience in bonding with someone, whether it may or may not work out in the long run, gives us an opportunity to learn something about others and ourselves. So thank you for saying that
one of the main reasons it took me so long to be comfortable with the term "lesbian" is because of how sexualised it is. the word itself is seen as a porn category which makes it feel weird. i had a guy call me a lesbian one time and it immediately made me uncomfortable (he was a friend of a friend so the fact that he even knew i was gay when i had come out maybe a couple months before made it extra uncomfy). it takes time to get over the internalised shit and even then if it isn't right, it isn't right. i'm happy to hear that you're happy!! :))
It makes me so happy that you are happy! My gay heart can't handle it!
Ahahaha I’m so happy for you!! And so stoked you’re a part of the queer community❤️❤️🏳️🌈🏳️🌈🏳️🌈🏳️🌈🏳️🌈
♥️ ♥️ ♥️
omg you talking about your girlfriend got me thinking of mine... I'm so happy for you Amy!!
I’m also figuring myself out, I’m pretty sure I’m ace aro but I Do feel attraction to people, but usually it’s platonic or aesthetic attraction. Idk if you were aware of the aesthetic attraction category, so maybe that’s what the small number of boys you feel attracted to is. Just as a thing to think/know about.
❤🧡💛💚💙💜
I think it’s easier to fancy fictional/celebrity men because deep down we know they’re a “safe” option and are totally unattainable so there’s never the worry of having to irl date them (speaking as a lesbian who also loves their gf
Thank you for sharing your experience! Identity isn't at all binary, and we're allowed to reassess and redefine parts of ourselves as we learn and grow. I came out as pansexual/panromantic 2 years ago and I still resonate with that understanding of myself. But I also recognize that I have since grown much more attracted to non-binary, femme folx, and women, but far less attracted to cisgender men. And that's okay!
Who knows how and to whom our capacities for love will grow in the future. To me, what's important is that I value and honor my present self in whatever ways feel true and kind. It sounds like you are doing your best in that regard too :)
Congratulations on your growth, pursuit of joy, and all of the love you have discovered! 🌈☺️
if you had posted this a year ago i would have been rolling my eyes the entire video because i was glad you joined the team yeah, but like i was a bitter single who never NEVER thought i'd find anyone to date me. I'm chronically ill and moody and just, i don't think highly of myself and thought i had nothing to offer. And then i met this girl on Bumble almost 6 months ago and we're still together. It's like...I just feel very lucky you know. And other peoples happiness in love doesn't make me wanna cry anymore so there's that.
Anyway, i'm happy for you. Whatever label you settle on or don't. i don't know i've chosen to identify as queer/sapphic because the word lesbian feels very restrictive. some men are at least on a surface level attractive to me. i just have no intention of ever dating them because i don't know i feel any romantic feelings for men? really i just don't trust them, trauma you know.
I’m pansexual, and that’s the term I use, but I also tend to just use the term gay because sometimes it just explains better so I get what you mean
And it’s entirely possible that the homophobia you experience wasn’t happening, but it’s also possible that it just wasn’t on your radar before this so you wouldn’t even think to notice it. My best friend, who is straight and in a relationship, and I often get a lot of dirty looks when we’re out because we both tend to give off pretty butch vibes and we’re very affectionate
But anyways, I love how happy you look now! Not that you didn’t before but you just looked so overwhelmingly happy to talk about your girlfriend and it was the cutest thing ever!
So happy for you, Amy! Your video last year made my true sexually become clear. (which is Bi) I didn't say anything because I just wanted to get used to that idea. So thank you!
This whole video is so relatable. I came out/went on my first date with a girl 3 years ago and all of these thoughts were/are so me 😂
It took me years to use the term lesbian. The more comfortable I got with myself, the easier it was to use it
so many lesbians struggle with actually calling themselves lesbians because of all the negative connotations that come with it, people treat it like a dirty word and the thought of putting that label on yourself can be so daunting but it's actually a lovely word. it took me 3 years to accept that label and when i did i couldn't stop using it because of how right it finally felt. every lesbian has their own journey with the word and no one should judge them for it when it's ultimately society's lesbophobia that makes it an issue in the first place
As somebody who’s been identifying as a lesbian since 2018. There’s a lot of stigma around the word, and a lot of people just really can’t wrap their head around a sexuality that doesn’t involve men. And sometimes it can be very boxy but mostly I find it very freeing to be like this is me. And not have to explain it. Take your time work through any issues you might have around the word but remember there’s nothing wrong with it. It’s just as much as a valid label as gay.
3:20 that always happens to me when I kids a guy so... I guess I have some thinking to do then.
Living your best queer life! Love to see it xxxx
I am a weirdo in that I came out in my sophomore year of high school, in Texas in 1981. I know a beautiful woman when I see one, but that doesn't make me any less than a gay man. When are putting on your make up, look in the mirror and tell yourself you are a Lesbian. Here in the states there is the movement to refer to everyone in the community as the Q word, which is problematic, because we are a different people with different needs and we just come together for the political movement. Seek out a Lesbian bar or group to experience the feeling of belonging that comes from it.
Not liking the word “lesbian” is definitely okay! You also don’t *have* to get used to it or over it to the point of using it for yourself, but I get why you might want to.
If you want to, it might be nice to look up some of Sappho’s fragments of poems if you haven’t already. I got all happy reading them, and definitely felt more of a connection to being lesbian than before reading them. There’s nothing quite like seeing cold hard proof of gayness and queerness in centuries long before us.
Personally, I choose to use lesbian only as an adjective, like gay or queer, as in “she’s lesbian” not “she’s a lesbian”, but I only started doing that when I realised that I’m nonbinary, since my main hang up was actually realising that I’m not a woman completely, and realising that lesbian wasn’t as restrictive for me any longer after that. I also started wearing more typically feminine clothing, would ya look at that. Obviously not the same journey for everyone!
This was the sweetest video, I hope you and your girlfriend keep making each other happy!!
Well damn! I was hoping you were single 😅🌈
… glad you’re happy
I think queer women (myself included for awhile) were/are hesitant to use the word “lesbian” because of the association with TERFs (thanks Arielle Scarella 😒). it took me a few years to fully embrace the word lesbian. I still use gay & queer, but I also feel better about using lesbian, as well
I think if it helps, it would sound and be totally normal saying "I *AM* lesbian" rather than "I am *A* lesbian" if you want to use lesbian as an adjective rather than a noun.
I'm so happy and proud to hear about how your journey is going ❤❤❤
Okay, but does Eugene like your girlfriend?
I've never understood the whole "if you're gay you're a sinner" thing. It just doesn't make sense to me. You can't control who you're attracted to. If you're a girl who's attracted to other girls, then that's how God made you and there's nothing wrong with that. Idk. It just makes no sense and I wish more Christians shared this viewpoint.
I'm so happy for you. You are so delightful and lovely, it's nice to see you so happy!