I just turned 30 a few days ago, and especially since my brother works at Google, I feel like the least successful/adulty adult in my family. I needed this video, thank you
I always felt less than my brother because i was the younger sibling and therefore i was supposed to be "the good one, the one with future"(cause i had good grades and all), yet i repeated the 5th school year of my academic system TWICE, IF NOT ALMOST THREE TIMES, and it got me years to get my "análitico"(the st*pid legal paper that says you overcome school and such, i missed the conmemorative diploma ceremony tho) Yet here i am, happy, and i know i'm the smart one, despite having no legal job(doing handmade jewerly does me some money) and literally being a depressive @ssh0l3. So let me say it: Reality is always better than what you imagine it is, specially if you start comparing yourself to others, or their expectations. What matters is *not* how "socially succefull" you are, what matters is that you are happy with your life and your own set of achievements. My achievement was finishing highschool, it took me so so much time than i wanted, but i finally did, and it felt like i finished something in life, even if it was so meaningless to anyone else, it meant the heaven to me, bc of how much stress and effort it took for me. And that's what matters, feel happy with your own boundaries, and everything else will move along eventually❤
as someone who was 21 in 2005, i can tell ya, the self-comparisons were around looooong before youtube or social media. all i can tell you is my life has only gotten better and better after 25...and then after 35....there REALLY is no age limit. i keep being shocked by how little i was before - kind of how a 12 year old looks like an adult to a 4 year old 😂 your older self will always see your younger self as a tiny baby with so much time. enjoy it ✨
That last line, "Getting old is universal and success is personal." What a great way of putting that. I've never been able to put it into words like that, and thinking of it that way re-contextualizes a lot.
I also didn't want to grow up. However, life is way better now than I could have imagined in high school. I decided I didn't want to complete college and instead got a full time job. Besides that commitment I have a bf of two years who is amazing. Even between significant others progression is different. Don't hold yourself to insane standards (example from my own life "I'm not perfect and therefore don't deserve to exist") because beating yourself up about things out of your control is not good. Only God is perfect. If you're not God don't worry about not being perfect. Also I'm only in my early 20's, I have money and freedom and love. Life is just beginning and I hope you have a great life!
I'm 36. I was miserable in my mid 20s because I wasn't a famous comic artist and gave up drawing. Turns out I was even more miserable without drawing, and I changed how I thought about art. I decided to stop caring about trying to get popular and just focused on improving my skills. As time passed, I felt a lot happier. Age ain't a reason to give up. Do what you want. For yourself.
Learned to drive at 29 (more than a decade after crashing my car the first time I drove) Learned to swim at 28 Graduated uni at 27 Came out as queer at 30 First full time job at 24 First relationship at 23 First breakup at 29 First time on a plane at 18 First time to the dentist at 19 Diagnosed with adhd at 30 Diagnosed with ptsd at 23 Learned to control panic attacks 30 Growing up looks different for everyone, enjoy it!
How’d you learn to manage panic attacks cause I got that n ptsd as well n would love to hear what worked for others as I’m tryna figure this life shit out myself as well lol
I am currently 28 and have always felt that I lost my "youth" due to my mental illnesses. Your "Youth is a concept" argument started turning the thought process in my head. It is a concept. Thank you for making the video. Count me as one who needed to hear that as well.
I relate. I am exactly your age, I was hospitalized for most of my youth and never got to do "teenage things" like party on cheap booze, rebel against my parents, or recite angsty poetry underneath the stars in the grassy lot behind the school. I think I'm going to make up for that lost time now; I'm going to find all of the youth shit I never got to do and do them now instead.
I'm 50. Mental illness has stolen my entire adult life. Never had a job, my own place, or a relationship. Keeping ahead of the "give up, loser!" thoughts is a challenge. But something in me keeps me from ever really giving up. I will keep going no matter what, for better and for worse.
@@unemployedphilosopher5072Thank you, kind stranger. Love your username. But really, is there such a thing as an employed philosopher? :) If so, show me, because that's a job at which I would excel.
Thank you. I might not be an "adult" yet, but everyone around me is already stressing me out about my future. The people close to me want me to be at the top of the pyramid, but I feel I'd be happier in the middle, and not too many people will let me admit that.
I was so much more stressed about my future when I was a teenager honestly. Especially coming from a household where my mom kinda implied I had to get a job to be able to help support her when I "become successful" it put so much pressure on me to succeed and get a job with a lot of money, that I spent years agonizing over which career path I would take, so much so, that I ended up procrastinating going to college at all. I was so terrified of wasting my time and money going to school for something I didn't enjoy doing, or might fail at, or might get a degree and not be able to get hired for. I eventually went to school after they basically considered me a failure and that pressure finally lifted off of me. I'm doing much better now at 26, and finally getting my life together, thanks to only myself. I hope it all goes well for you! If you find yourself in a similar situation, I hope you can be kind to yourself and find happiness in your daily life, like I do :)
LITERALLY!!! im 17 and up until VERY recently, whenever i would mention wanting to pursue art and music as like a career, my mom would almost word-for-word say “you know you can’t like….. Actually do that right?” or at least something meant to convey that exact thing without being mean………. fortunately since then my family has significantly lowered their expectations for me! i expect to find my place somewhere near the bottom of the pyramid in terms of “am i someone Very Important (TM)” and that is fine! i am the guy who plays the healer and takes the harmony part in a violin duet so my friend can have their cool solo, i am completely fine with not being Mr. Important Business Guy as long as im an important guy to my friends and family! my ideal life is like, being some medieval king’s pet artist guy that lives in the tower and makes strange paintings that utterly fascinate the royal family. as long as i have my art supplies, an internet connection, and something to sleep on, I Am Chilling ❤️ im like if a potted plant was a guy basically
this is such an important message to hear as a disabled person. i got sick around 4 years ago and haven't been able to start college, get a job, or even get my driver's permit. i went from someone who was always dragging behind my peers for seemingly no reason (undiagnosed autism and adhd among other things) to having a "reason" for not measuring up. at first i was (and still am from time to time) really hard on myself for not meeting expectations and being a burden to my family for needing extra support. but it really did reframe for me just how arbitrary the age and maturity goals i had set for myself for so long were. why did i need an "excuse" to get extra help? and if i needed an excuse, how did i view others who struggled to meet those same goals, especially those who are also disabled? i could choose my pride about being "on par" or i could choose to be patient with myself. i realized just how unhappy the former made me. comparison is the thief of joy, and when we view ourselves critically, we judge others as well. by being kinder to ourselves we can be kinder to everyone. we don't have to play by rules that don't allow us to be happy.
I got diagnosed with autism and ADHD at the start of the year and it's helped me so much with not feeling like I'm lazy or weak. Not everyone has the same circumstances and it's so important to treat yourself with kindness if you have things going on that might make life trickier !!
It really does one no good to compare one's success, maturity, and achievement against another, when one is neurodivergent and others are neurotypical. Take it from another Autistic person, your brain is literally wired different. You will always have a different life experience than the so-called "normals". Don't fret about it, and certainly don't feel bad for asking for help. If anything, it's Allistic society that's failing _you._ Demanding you contort yourself into knots and subject yourself to discomfort or trauma, just so _they_ and the system built for them never needs to lift one finger to accommodate the differently abled. Where being asked to be flexible or bend their arbitrary social rules _slightly_ for you is somehow a deplorable crime. That's an entire normative society of spoiled children, right there. (That our Capitalist system is a veritable engine of human suffering and exploitation doesn't help matters. Lots of people fall through the cracks, through no fault of their own, because the system is cruel and takes everything from you. And encourages those who can just keep their head above water, or who had unfair advantages handed to them, think they're morally superior to those who can't or didn't.)
@@owiebrainhurtsMy thoughts, as someone with only ADHD (as far as any kind of diagnoses go): having something to _overcome_ or _tend to,_ rather than holding on to something to lament, like being born a vaguely ‘lazy person’-I think that can be super good for people experiencing the kind of struggles associated with autism and ADHD. It’s why I’ve seriously come around on the idea of self-diagnosis. Knowing yourself on an internet-research basis may not be as helpful as seeing your experiences filtered through a medical education, but often it’s better than nothing. (Yes, I still think formal diagnosis is useful, just for a smaller subset of conditions, or some aspects of conditions. To some extent, the average person knows their body and mind.)
Your words are as *replete* as your *soul!* Mankind needs a savior such as *YOU!* (I really found your final remark very touching. I just wanted you to know that I screenshot that excerpt and will be saving it in my personal collection : ^)
I'm 30, went through a bad breakup and ended up back at my mom's house, delivering pizzas for a living, trying to chase a music career again, just within the last year started figuring out my gender identity, and this video made me cry
how the fuck does anyone struggle with finding out their gender identity? if you were born a male you're a male and if you were born a female you're a female, it's that simple.
just to reiterate something rq, the part where you quantified adulthood timespan eased so much existential dread. Thanks for addressing the topics addressed. I feel like it isn’t talked about enough, especially in your style (i love your style).
i’m also 23 and JUST started pursuing painting as a hobby, and i would like to sell my work some day. it’s tough seeing 15 year olds posting masterpieces or 19 year olds living and working in beautiful spacious art studios for a living. this video reminded me i can become successful at any age, and i’m not lesser than those people because i’m “old” LOL :) thank you for posting ❤
Something that I’ve only realized recently is that these people are only “remarkable” because they’re doing this stuff at a young age… But what happens when they grow up? Not so remarkable then, isn’t it? Like, imagine how damaging it is to your mental health to have your fame and reputation tied so deeply to your youth! That’s why child stars/child prodigies are usually super messed up when they grow older: their peak was when they were kids and it’s all downhill from there. So you know what, I think I’m fine being 23 and not having reached my peak yet. I hope you can be too!
Watching this at 32 as a renter with debt to pay off, not even sure what I want my career to be, watching my friends have children and buy houses was an absolute balm for the soul.
turning 34 this year, all I got are 3 cats and a wife and too much debt I have acquired in order to go to university which I then dropped out of due to depression and a bunch of other mental health related stuff. I am now working in tech and burning out at each job. I had to get my shit together in order to be able to write this comment. At this stage I have even given up all hopes to become ever successful in my life. I have accepted the fact that I won't be able to afford housing. I am still hoping to be able to afford kids.
I'm 38, I still rent, I have about 18k in student loans left to pay off, and I've only *just* (like as of a few weeks ago) really started my career, but I am quite content :)
@@owiebrainhurts Thanks :D 100% not a race. Lots of other great points in the video I wish I had learned when I was younger. Really enjoying your work!
in fact it’s a little insane to frame it as a race, cause like, what are you competing for?? contentment with your life??? you don’t need to get there FIRST to… get there… finding a happy life for yourself doesn’t get less happy the later you get there yknow? it’s a really strange way to view life……. and whoever made people start thinking like that needs to shut up forever lol
40 yo man here with two kids and recently graduated from college. Just do whatever! The part about “what if I just want to dedicate my life to being cozy” about sums up what I’ve discovered about life. And honestly, it’s a relief. We live with so much expectation and pressure, sometimes internally, and in reality it doesn’t actually matter especially if that causes you pain. Enjoy life. Whatever that means to you.
as someone who is 25 and still at uni/college, I feel so "old" compared to my peers and sometimes even inadequate to be there but I know that everyone is at different stages in life and we are all different, we come from different backgrounds, and we all have had different opportunities. It is never too late!! Thank you for this video
I'm only about two years out of college at 26, and also feel old for someone who doesn't have a position in either an full time or office job or in a field I have aimed for. Back in fall of 2022 I had the sheer existential terror of working part-time retail during the holidays and needing to see someone's ID, only for them to have the same exact birthday as me, and she had a kid in her arms and a husband at her side. I have to remind myself that of the three friends from school years that I'm still close with, one is still in college and living with their parents, another is struggling to get by on gig work while living with his girlfriend after having got a degree in film, and the third only just moved out of his parents home while working long hours in construction.
my mom is 40 herself and was feeling rather down like she usually did because she felt like it was too late and/or impossible to do anything anymore (given we live in iran; it's even worse) and i always wanted to tell her that's not true but i could never phrase it cohesively. so i sat her down and translated the video live for her as you talked; thank you so much for everything! ❤❤
I'm currently 32 and this video has a very important message. Especially for teenagers and people in their 20s. I pretty much wasted my own 20s, working jobs that I hated while figuring out what I really want in life and how to get there. I actually felt like giving up for a while. Watching others get ahead in life while I was struggling to even get my career started was extremely demotivating and I felt left behind. At 28 I dropped everything to go back to college and get a degree. Graduated last year at 31. I finally feel like maybe there's hope after all, and perhaps it was okay to not be the top dog in my industry by 22. I also later found out that apparently I'm not alone. So many people spent their 20s really figuring themselves out. It is RIDICULOUSLY unreasonable to expect teenagers and even people in their early 20s to already have their whole lives planned out, much less already having achieved their goals. At some level, isn't life about the journey of achieving your goals? If you've already achieved all your goals and become super successful at 23, then what are you gonna spend the next 60+ years doing? Just stay stagnated in that position until you die? Not the worst place to stagnate, but surely having goals to work towards is more interesting.
Completely agree! I'm also someone that has recently graduated college before turning 31, and have had to admit to people that I'm still figuring myself out. Real life is all about changes - sometimes what people think they want to do for the rest of their lives might not be the same thing they are into or find joy/passion out of within a decade (or half a decade) later. Institutions that project an ideal of older teens/young adults having their whole life set on one thing doesn't fit with how the real world will affect people's interests, especially as they get older. Unfortunately, with the way our societies are built, I'm not surprised that too many young people feel pressured to have their whole lives figured out too soon. :(
dude i feel that, at 21, my mom is trying to DRILL ME to get a full time career as fast as possible. im in college and working part time and this is my second year. i hate it so much because i feel like that woman took a lot away from me, mainly my teenagehood. it felt like all i was good for was results i produced. it kinda felt like i wasnt a person to some people.
I know the feeling. Just do your own stuff snd figure it out hy yourself. Stop listening to her pressures. Later on if you can just move out, maybe even go no contact on her.
@@SkyRied1 I'm really trying man, but I don't make enough to move out on my own yet and she likes to try threatening to kick me out. Shes been doing it since I was 18
this was genuinely comforting. it feels a little stupid after watching this, but im turning 18 in a week and im terrified. ive been worried about being an adult for years, and now its here. i dont know what i want to do with my life yet, and the fear is made worse by the fact that all my friends seem to know what they want to do, or at least have something theyre good at. ive somehow got to this point in my life without really learning any skills or having any hobbies [which i recently realised is probably because i have adhd and have difficulty with sticking to things]. life is terrifying, and i actually started crying while writing this. hopefully i dont die homeless and alone
Hi, 20 year old here, just wanted to say its super common to have no clue what to do or what you're good at. Its fine, people seem to somehow think that 18 year olds should have their lives figured out but that's super unrealistic. Most of the people that have a plan currently will end up changing their mind or dropping out or whatever. Its normal. Most of my friends still have no idea what they want to do if I'm being honest. Try exploring things that seem interesting to you. Go down some research rabbit holes, maybe take a class at a community college if you have the funds (and it seems like something you'd be into). Also if you either of you ever happen to go to college, its wayy easier to get an ADHD diagnosis through the school counselor. Good luck you two, I believe in you! You've got plenty of time.
i was in the same shoe before and mann thats really killing me so i know what u feel. Thing that helped me after so many attempts of solving the problem is that: i start to find out/research who's creating me & why am i made this way (aka comeback to God) because turned out He's the Creator of everything & All-Knowing of everything (including myself & you hehe) and then i talked to Him about everything (basically rant/vent/openup/getting off everything off my chest). I was non-religious person & turned out it makes me soo freaking messed up because i was "hating" religion & the rules & avoid them all cost (im Muslim), thats why anxiety/fear of future/etc. easily mess around me & i cant count how many time i get lost so quickly. After so many open up to Him, IT DOES STARTED TO SOLVED THE PROBLEM OMG- so i try to read the Qur'an Translation & finding more about who am i why am i here whats my role in this world etc etc, then SOMEHOW solutions just popped-up one by one like a dominos, sounds like "WHATTT-" but really thats what i experienced ngl (yes God DOES is All-Hearing & All-Seeing, i cant believe i was a blind idiot abt this argh-) Tbh i really felt like being pulled out of darkness into the step of light & full of clarity because of Him, the more i try to talk to Him the more peace & comfort i started to experience (ofc here im not trying to be a preacher who try to annoy somebody lol i just being honest abt my own testimony :D) Just sharing this just in case you didn't know you need it, i hope it helps! :)
I'm 36, turning 37 soon. Every year that passes you think you are "losing your youth", but ironically, you never really do :) You might go through some pretty rough patches and feel pretty defeated and tired for some time, but you end up learning that that also passes, and that youth is a state that you might not be always in, but you are always capable of :)
Youth imo is the risk factor of developing issues. It's a physical thing, not a mindset thing. I'm pretty sure I'll keep the same mindset I've always had, but the body won't be able to keep up.
Thanks for this. Whenever people are deathly afraid of aging like it's a disease you can avoid catching, it feels so sad. With aging (hopefully lol) comes wisdom, and it becomes easier and easier to let things go that seemed huge at age 10, that seemed huge at age 20, etc
@@shadowshatto That’s what makes it sad for me lol. I’m not “immature” but I have a child-like/youthful personality and mindset and I’m afraid that the older I get, my body/physical appearance won’t keep up with how I really am personality-wise and that I’ll get judged for it more by others. Not just that, but I worry over the idea of having unrealistic ambitions/goals for my age as I’m “aging”. Because you’re like, “I have so many things I want to do and achieve in my bucklist, but I’m only getting older I don’t know how much of it I’ll be able to actually carry out before I’m “too (physically/energetically) old” to do all of them.” Those are like some of my biggest life concerns as of now……… And I’m not even old at all. But time feels like it’s moving way too fast for me to process it. As well as having a tendency to be lazy/procrastinate being the contributing factors of my concerns.
I’m 23 too!! I’m so glad this video was recommended to me. It’s hard for me to break out of the mindset that I’ve wasted time or I should’ve accomplished things when I was younger but this video really helps with that. I’m just gonna work hard towards my goals and not stress too much on how long it takes to accomplish them. As long as I’m trying.
As someone reaching their 30's, i wish i could've heard this when i was younger- lol. I, like some other people, "lost my youth" due to invisible disabilities and lack of support. What i wish i could tell myself then is the same thing i have to convince myself of now, which is: the world does want you around even though it doesn't feel like it. Keep trying, you're not failing just bc many things haven't and don't work out. Please be kinder and gentler to yourself bc you deserve to and you'll never have the same path as someone else. It's ok, you'll be ok.
i literally turned 23 today. this video came at a perfect time for me, and the fact you even mentioned being the EXACT SAME AGE AS ME NOW absolutely struck me in a critical point i'm saving this video forever to watch whenever i feel down about this kind of stuff
I'll be 68 next month. I thought this was going to be about not being "too old" when you're actually old. I think success is best measured in being able to look back and know that you did what you wanted to do. Money comes and goes. People come and go. Figure out what makes you happy and do that. Success.
Damn. On the one hand I look back and I have been horribly successful and yet I can look back and be satisfied that my life is broken because I wanted or chose NONE of this. IT is literally a historical chain of me coping with unfavourable events. Barely D=
I’m 24, and I just got my driver’s permit for the first time. I failed the written test two times prior, and I was really beating myself up about it. I thought I was pathetic for not keeping up with kids I knew who started driving in high school. But I went in the testing room and saw people well over my age. Some probably for renewals, others possibly their first time. Either way, I stopped feeling so old and out of place once I stepped back and reflected on the world. I hope my words can help as much as this video has helped me. Thanks again!
I did it when I was like 21, a bit late. But then during covid the DMV made it impossible to renew my license, and eventually I just forgot. So a year after driving on an expired license I found I couldn't just renew it, I had to take the test again. And I failed the first time, because I drove like a person who has been driving for more than a decade rather than like someone taking a test. The second time I made a show to exaggerate everything I was doing to be obnoxious because I was livid over the whole situation.
It seems to me that the more someone likes driving, the most likely they are going to get it first try and vice versa For someone that doesn't like driving, it is like a necesity for them that they hate, like some people with their jobs
Just got my driver's license last year at 32, you are still very young. I lived in Chicago most of my adult life so I rode the trains and didn't have a car for years.
Okay but this is literally me, same age same story and everything. Before I went to college my parents didn't want me to learn to drive (despite teaching my brother 💀💀💀) and sent me a semester earlier than I wanted. 17-21 never learned to drive because public transportation. 21-24 COVID hit and I was an essential employee and had. Literally no time to myself. Spent the days working and the nights trying to decompress or dealing with chronic illness. Moral of the story is time isn't real, cars are not age-gated. You're probably better off now because fine motor skills, awareness, more experience with being on the road and witnessing driving, familiarity with your surroundings etc. Etc. Don't sweat it, you got this!! Congrats on passing. We'll be driving all over the dang place soon enough 🎉
Watching this again because I needed it (I’m a 2001 kid). I’m turning 22 and I still have no idea what I’m doing. At 16 I was told I was brilliant and gifted. Now I just feel average. Where did all that childhood creativity go? But this is right… and these were statistics I needed to know. I can’t let myself be stunted because I thought I’m already expiring. Thank you for this!!
Finished my class 12th with 2nd highest marks in my school now after 6 years I don't know what I've become (I'm 22). Waking up watching youtube wasting whole day and then went to sleep... When I was wasting time I thought I had plenty of time (before this year). And this year when I realized I need to do something and I've tried to do few things but now new thought is killing my mind: You don't have enough time now you can't achieve anything your parents gonna for sure die tomorrow you won't be able to show them what you are capable of. So basically living my day to day life in the fear of that something bad might going to happen... And that bad thing hadn't happened in past 11 months.... But yeah slowly and gradually lifting myself up and trying to do something❣
I’m 28. I moved back into my parents house about 3 years ago. I’m going to community college and I have no idea what I’m doing with my life. I constantly fall into a spiral of thoughts that I’ve failed at life and there’s no hope for me. I needed this. Thank you for uploading this video.
I'm in the exact same boat (back at parents' house 3 years ago, at community college, feeling like I failed at life) at pretty much the same age I'm a year older than you. I do have some idea what I want to do but I don't know how it will turn out. You're definitely not alone in this!
I’m 26 for only a couple more months, but I definitely relate to this video especially somebody who doesn’t have their drivers license and is still trying to graduate college! You still have time! My great uncle didn’t start painting until his late 70s and now he’s in an art museum!
Alwaus remember-- in the age of social media, we are overexposed to survivorship bias, and only share successes-- it's dangerously easy to think you suck when you don't because you're inadvertently comparing yourself to 0.0001% of people.
4:51 as a 21yo going into 22 soon, thank you, this video is a work of art (literally good art too) and it helped address all of my anxieties. normally, i make sure to avoid videos like this with a positive perspective on the anxieties i have because they essentially make me remember the same fears im trying to distract myself from. but i clicked on this, probably because the cats felt non-threatening and welcoming, and it really soothed the voice in my head telling me im too late for things, especially being someone who also lost my "youth" years to mental illness and grew up on the internet.
Thank you so much, I really needed this. I'm a VTuber. Most people assume this means I'm in my mid-20s, and are shocked to hear I'm 40. It's one of the most Gen Z dominated creative niches on the internet, and here I am, someone who actually remembers seeing the Berlin Wall fall on the newspapers, being an anime girl online. I see a lot of content creators my age or younger who have fought for success for like, 10 years, and kick myself for the roads not taken. I feel sad for how my disability and other issues have gotten in the way of creating content until recently. At the same time, I'm very concerned with the way social media shows us all these successful influencers at a time of increasing recession, increasing unemployment. It looks like a 'possible' way out, but for 99% of people it isn't. And that doesn't mean you can't thrive. I love being a creator. I love streaming and I love the small community I've created. But I admit, I do still struggle with these issues daily. Again, thank you for making this.
It's so great to see someone being who they want to be at your age! I always thought that once you hit 30, you have to be this serious, "work, work, work" kind of person. I agree with your second statement. Social media makes it seem like becoming a successful influencer is the best and ONLY way to enjoy life.
You'd be surprised. As someone in Vtuber space myself because my closest friends are, they're all in their 30s. Some in their 40s. Most don't have the financial stability or the schedule you need to be a Vtuber in their 20s. When I did a collab stream with a few pals, they were shocked to hear I'm 22 (Which.. I don't have a full Vtuber setup. I don't even have a computer. I don't live on my own and still live with my family. I'm not sure what made them come to that assumption lmfao). I constantly see vtubers crying about how the field is full of such younger and younger people... But ironically, I don't see it.
I'm 37. This February, I was laid off. I restarted my Twitch and TH-cam channel. It's still growing, but it definitely feels weird to be in a place where I feel like I'm still at the "beginning" when I'm almost 40. Thank you for this.
I’m so glad I read your comment! I just turned 37 last week and lost my job in august. I went from making $85k a year, to now making $500 a MONTH and applying for food stamps. It’s humbling. I’m restarting life and it’s been tough but there are some new things on the horizon that might be promising and worth the restart. Perhaps I’ll get around to a TH-cam channel as well. God bless!
🥹 happy early bday! But also yea now i’m slowly panicking as well i should be graduating college 2 years from now but somehow a year gets added and i feel like i’m being left behind
@@allianne hi friend! May I share my story with you as encouragement? I started college straight out of high school in 2004 as a business management major. I lasted for all but 2 years when I was academically dismissed. At the time I had a 1.6 GPA. I was devastated. I took a few part time jobs thereafter, but was so depressed that I ended up being late all of the time, so I lost those jobs. Not too long after I lost my job, I found an internship for a music magazine and learned a lot about different genres of music and where a lot of hip hop samples came from. I thoroughly enjoyed it. The internship ended, and I wasn’t sure what to do next. I heard that my local public school needed a pianist for their after school choir, so I did that for a bit and then applied to be an assistant summer camp counselor at a preschool in the next town over. The director of the school wanted to keep me on for the fall semester as an assistant teacher, so I accepted. I liked working with kids and always felt that it would be nice to become a teacher. One day in church, while serving in the children’s ministry, someone asked me if I was in school for early childhood education. I wasn’t at the time, but upon her suggestion, I looked into it. I figured I couldn’t get back in school because my gpa was so laughably low. I applied to community college and got in. Slowly but surely my gpa went up. Unfortunately, I had to take a semester off since I didn’t have money to pay. I thought I was gonna be knocked back forever, but it was good to have time to build more classroom experience in the interim. I was finally able to go back and graduated 2 semesters later as one of the top of my class with honors and a 3.6 GPA. I was accepted into NYU, and transferred. At NYU, things went well for the first 2 weeks until issues with emotional regulation kept coming up for me. It turned out that I had BPD and PTSD. Sadly, I had to take another semester off on medical leave after a week in the hospital. This time I REALLY thought I was screwed. I lamented the fact that I had to take another semester off and further delay my degree. When I returned, I switched majors so I could graduate closer to on time. I ended up taking a bunch of jazz theory and composition classes to round things out. I didn’t know much, so it was a struggle lol, but little did I know it was building a solid foundation for what I was going to do next. Though I graduated a year after I anticipated, I ended graduating with a 3.7 GPA and honors once again. All of this was preparing me to be a music teacher. Something I merely dreamt about as a teen but figured I’d do on the side. I taught music for 6 years, but BPD and PTSD reared their ugly heads again, and I couldn’t teach anymore. This was a MAJOR set back for me that I’m still coping with. However, in 2 hours, I’ll be teaching a small group of kids piano. It’s not the same level of teaching I was doing before, but it’s start. We take so many twists and turns in life. Sometimes delayed pop up and throw us unwelcome curveballs. I hated it and sometimes still do, but I hope that my story is a little encouraging in knowing that with every set back, there’s something new in the path that may launch even further than you expected to go. All by the grace and mercy of God. I can only thank Him for how He’s guided me through these disappointments. I’m sending you a virtual hug, my friend. Be well :-)
This video is so comforting to me. I had really bad mental health throughout my youth too, and I’m only 21 but I feel like everyone around me has their whole lives figured out and I don’t. But in the last year I made a lot of progress, even if no one can see it. And I’m really proud of myself for that. Sometimes it’s easy to look at what I haven’t accomplished, and hard to acknowledge all the progress I’ve made.
i remember being very upset about being in public school because i thought ‘if youth is so romanticized and valued, why is everyone my age forced to waste it in school?’ (not the same for college though) i feel we are designed to be disappointed with life by age 15.
Yep, it's probably to set you up for the disappointment of living in a capitalist society. I recommend resisting it as much as you can, find joy in something every day.
my mom homeschooled me because she felt that way in public school... but even though being homeschooled gave me extra time, I just did normal teenager things like hate school and play minecraft and secretly wish I was popular and feel like I was wasting my life she kept suggesting I become a great author or something because I had all this time but it really doesn't work that way...
I'm currently 15 and not disappointed with my life, just indifferent. I have a feeling that I will be disappointed with my future, though. That sounds odd, now that I put it on something other than my thoughts. How can it be disappointing if it is what I expect?
Feeling inadequacy coming into adulthood is genuinely such a terrifying thing. I'm losing a lot of my early years to chronic depression and its so scary to know the years are flying by and I've accomplished absolutely nothing so this was honestly something I needed to hear.
Holy shit the sound design of your videos is golden. Even got the Animal Crossing Population Growing press B on menu sound effect somewhere in there. Also thank you for this, I relate so much and needed this.
As someone who is also 23 and spent most of my previous years alone in my room due to autism this video really reassured me that its never too late to make your dreams come true because in the end, age is just a number, not the determining factor of your youth. More people definitely need to watch this !
Hey there, @thesleepydemon, I'm in my 30s and spend most of my time alone. I've worked various jobs and pursued multiple paths, some with endurance and some with failure or aspects of my goals that fell through, working against bettering my life. The thing about autism, is that you have to gage your small successes within the larger picture and keep moving forward. I know it gets harder, the more the plans fall through, so allow and recognize that you can grieve these plans and failures but then, move on and build yourself any way you can, that helps you reach your goals, money-related or not. Best of luck to you and I hope you do well.
I still feel like I haven't mentally progressed past middle school, because that's the last time I felt like I had real friends. Covid fucked up like a year and a half of high-school for me, so I felt like the shell of a person. Now I'm in college, and going to turn 18 in a couple months, and still feel behind in life, both socially, and career-wise. At least I have this video to remind me that life isn't meaningless.
Same here yeah Covid lasted longer for me because the college was locked down even past most places I switched colleges mid-pandemic and felt like I lost all my irl and online friends after
me too, i feel like i was stunted after quarantine, and i didn’t believe in the goodness of people anymore. i was a senior about to graduate and then all the schools shut down. i didn’t get the *highschool graduation* that everyone else got. not that it was a big deal in the first place, but i still missed out. i still feel i’m somewhere stuck before quarantine in high school.
im in a pretty similar boat too. i turn 19 next month and covid as well as my seveal social anxiety + depression has pretty much fucked my social life. same with my education cus now im doing gcse's at 19-20 when theyre supposed to be done when your 16 ish. just because your behind doesnt mean that you're failing or that you're less of a person. covid wasnt easy for anyone. a lot of people i know lost a year to it too. global pandemics kind of do that lol. no matter whats pushed you back, it's valid. life screws us all over at some point. just keep pushing forward :) life isnt a race, its a marithon
Thank you, I really needed to hear this lately. I've been struggling severely from depression and suicidal thoughts over me failing college, feeling unable to do anything, unable to hold a job. Seeing this made me feel a little bit better about myself. Thank you for that.
I'm 23 too, kinda just floating with no clue what i want to do with my life, but this video is very comforting to me! I don't want a high pressure job or to be a millionaire or whatever, i just want to do things that'll make me happy and maybe help other people. Thank you for making this!
This is extremely relatable as a 24 year old fellow over achiever who missed out on a lot of things due to illness. I am currently feeling extra worthless after watching another fantasy series (which i love) and comparing my life to the characters and lamenting the lack of purpose and success in my journey- i literally can't stop comparing my life to fiction lol let alone real life successful people. I just want to feel good enough. Thank you for making this- it helped 😊
I'm turning 30 in a couple of months and honestly, until 2 years ago, it seemed like I was never going to be anything. I was terrified of 30 but now it feels okay because a few things weirdly fell into place, someone took a chance on me for a good job, went through a bad breakup, etc. and it all feels okay now. And you know what's the weirdest thing about it? Every bad decision, aimless wandering, incompatible long-term relationship, and hobby hopping was exactly the stuff that led me to these series of fortunate events. I think it's important to internalize that you ARE on a path but the path that makes you happy at the end isn't going to look like that of any other person. I'm not saying "god has a plan for you" or some shit - what I mean is that everything that you are is contributing to a future that is uniquely yours to enjoy! You're not "growing up", you're just "growing"
Jeremiah 29:11 NIV [11] For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the Lord, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.
I feel that, I just turned 28. But everyone walks their own path, and you come to certain healing realizations when YOU are meant to. Just as how the first time you hear a song you may not like it, but a year down the line you can appreciate some aspect that you weren’t before able to, simply through having lived more life. Life is a process between high and lows, like a catapult, one must go into the depths of oneself to be launched to their highest dreams. Take gratitude in the things you do have, take care of the space you inhabit, this includes your body, speak life into yourself through affirmation, water a seed and learn the ways in which we are the same as you watch it begin its growth. I believe in you. I love you, I mean it. Don’t let the pain overtake you ❤
I relate highly. I'm 22 with a child and I'm just now going back to school. It's hard to look around at people I know in real life already have their dream degree and job without feeling incompetent. To go online and see others around my age success make the wound hit deeper and widen my insecurities. Thank you for such an amazing heartwarming message. I needed this, and I hope that you revisit your own video in times that you feel down, like I know I will.
"You don't have an expiry date, let alone an expiry date at 30 years old." Y'know, I think I really became an adult when I started realizing my grandparents aren't all that different from me, just wrinklier and a whole lot more emotionally stable with age. It leads to people having this OMG- 30 YEARS OLD fatalism.
I'm 21 right now and have really been through alot of self-doubt and anxiety lately. This video was really comforting and something I really needed to hear from someone approximately my age. The comments as well, reading what people older than me have to say. Thank you for making this video.
As someone who's 32 and only recently got their life together at the END of their 20s (29 to be specific and during COVID...) I will give you 3 things I noticed about aging so far: 1. As you said, it's not "over" when you get older. There are more external pressures to fit a dumb "real adult" shaped box but it's the same as other boxes you're pressured into. Just ignore it lol 2. You are currently the youngest you will be for literally the rest of your life. Do stuff that'll make the future you look back at these days fondly. 3. Change is never age-gated. If it helps you get over this uhhhh I guess "age dysphoria", look for people older than you who started doing things you want to do right now but later. I'm currently transitioning and was worried that since I won't be some early 20s cute online trans girl that it wouldn't be worth it or I'll mess my life up....and worried about that all throughout my late 20s which just delayed me further. I found a bunch of older transwomen who started in their 40s and 50s that made me go "Huh! They look great too! I can do this now?" and now things are way better since I just did it. I mean I know a guy who was almost 50, had been in jail several times, had kids and several other "it's over" types of things and just decided to become a software engineer when he was 46 and now he's super freaking successful. Age literally means nothing aside from your bones hurting a little more than they used to and some health stuff.
Although I'm not trans, I think the message of this comment definitely struck me. Taking the plunge into a path in life that seems so tenuous, you have my respect. And in any case, I'm sure you're alreadya very buetiful lady!
thanks for this vid (im actually quite struggling with this, hearing it from a normal person and not someone with a degree in psychiatry helps, for some reason)
yea exactly, it’s hard to explain but it doesn’t feel condescending. istg (my experience with pyschs at least) pyschs are so condescending for reasons that feel like a bit too much to vent abt in a youtube comment reply but i get what you mean
reading all these comments and seeing other people's perspectives and experiences is somewhat comforting. i am 19 and have felt for a while that i have failed in life and missed my chance to live up to my 'potential'. It's nice to see other people who also experienced mental illness since they were pretty young, it always felt like i was the only one who was fucked up. turns out I'm autistic which definitely contributes to that lol. thanks for this video!
My partner sent this to me and it was an amazing watch. I love the artstyle and the timing of jokes, plus the message is very good and we should all hear it more often as young adults. Earned a sub! ✨
This is exactly what I needed tonight. Thank you. It's nothing I haven't heard before, but the way you worded the part about there being no shame in prioritizing coziness really hit me. It's pointless to try to compare my progress against people who don't share my life goals and big "milestones" that weren't even intended for me. My success right now is keeping myself safe and alive, and so far I'm doing a pretty good job.
I turned 29 a week ago and I’ve been contemplating unaliving myself a lot because I’m not where I want to be and won’t ever be because I lost my whole 20s to a toxic relationship for 10 years and loss of friendships and severe mental illness, but this video cheered me up a bit. Honestly it’s hard to balance the feelings of oh my god it’s too late what’s the use, and that I still have a chance to get my life and self the way I want and every second counts, but the every second counts also makes me spiral into complete despair and stress. In my early 20s I felt like I had time to waste, and no longer now which is so exhausting. Reading everyone’s comments makes things feel a bit bettter, but also sad because we still can’t escape how patriarchy devalues women after 25-30 and all other societal pressures. Sorry for the bummer comment, appreciate y’all. I’m still on the fence about unaliving.
Hey friend, I understand the suffocating pressure of simultaneously feeling like you have so much to do and every day going by without you doing whatever it is you're supposed to do to achieve it, but that shouldn't worry you. A journey of a thousand miles begins with a single step, don't fret and run your race at your own pace. Also, don't listen to anyone who even mentions that women "expire". That's utter nonsense, know that you are beautiful and the world is lucky to have you in it. 😃
I'm a 23 year old and honestly I relate to so much on this video. I've always felt really underwhelming- I remember being 16 watching 12 year olds post the most gorgeous masterpieces. Years later i've just now started to taste success in my art(that people think it's nice kinda way). And this video made me feel so much better and understood. It's nice knowing I don't have to be the best right now- that I have plenty of time to build that. Ty ty
Thank you, I needed this. 24, unable to drive, not happy with my life, had creative desires years ago but gave up on them thinking the world was going to collapse before I could get them out to the public/i was too old to be successful. Felt the grief of "wasting the best years of my life" since I couldnt explore the world like most my age seem capable of. Slow and steady wins the race here I suppose, maybe I'm better off than I thought. And maybe I should start putting in the effort for my creativity. Its not too late and I needed that reminder.
I'm so glad TH-cam reccomended me this video. I really needed it. Thank you! I'm turning 30 in a few months and lately I've felt I've thrown my 20's away pursuing a software engineering, a field which I never really liked but was told by my family is "the way to go!," setting myself the incredibly hard goal of working at Google, only to spiral downhill into dread and everything, comparing myself to everyone and failing after a decade of this. Now studying Music instead, and starting fresh, I feel imposter syndrome since I'm in school with such people who are younger than me, with years more experience with them spending their lives growing up with music. And I'm like "oh well... I like listening to music and I played some guitar in school". I've always been scared of aging, and felt wasted my 20's. But, I needed this video. Thank you. I'll keep going, and pushing hard for my dream as a musician!
This TH-cam recommendation turned out to be uncharacteristically refreshing, the subject is one that strikes a chord with anyone who's just about no longer overdosing on excitement of 'youth', a contingent of the overwhelmingly consumerist culture we live in. The video is done quite tastefully, has the right balance of wit, sarcasm and a lot of heart too! Your channel, which is a must-subscribe, has some seriously good content, and it's rather unfortunate how underappreciated it is, probably expectedly given our shortening attention span and the inunendation of internet with ever lowering quality of material. Thanks and looking forward to your next videos!
Among Americans there is an ongoing internet joke that England either isn't real or is a terrible place to live. I'm sorry that you weren't informed @@meqativ
I'm 33 and I started painting again this year, and after that I started doing other things I'd given up. They were all things I started doing because they were fun and interested me, and I only gave them up when all the expectations I had for them, or how I thought i needed to approach it 'the real way' weighed down my ability to do them. Incomplete things have so much unseen value.
I'm 25 years old, I live with my parents, dropped out of college and I'm currently trying to figure out what to actually do with my life, since everyone in my family wants me to be in a career already. Seeing people 2-3 years younger than me earn millions by... doing whatever it is they do honestly, makes me feel guilty and worthless for not being "good enough" so this video is very appreciated.
I'm 36 and I both got disability and am working on becoming an audiobook reader. It is an incredibly strange experience to feel like society is like well you're not cut out for us and being told how many skills I have creatively/ how sharp I am with everything I do. I'm just not cut out for the 9-5, and I don't think that's a failure of mine even though I feel like I'm expected to feel that. I also need to remember how much life I have ahead of me!
It really does seem like television and then the Internet dumped all sorts of weird norms and expectations on us when we were younger... but neglected to supply the proper instructions for achieving those things, and just sorta assumed everyone would be able to do it automatically. Then only once you're thrown out into the world for real do they bother to mention in passing: "Sorry, but this isn't for you. These aspirations are only applicable for the fully physically, mentally and socially able." ... then go back to pretending we don't exist.
hello! i hope you’ve been successful/fulfilled in the months since you’ve posted this :) i wanted to ask you, how is audiobook reading? i’m going into college next year and i’m considering doing that as a side job- i’m 90% sure i’m autistic so i doubt a social job would fit me. what do you think of audiobook reading? what’s the schedule like? how much control do you have over the books you read and the hours you work? i’d love to hear your insight!
Thanks so much for this!! I'm in my early 20s and I've been 'doing stuff with my life'. What they don't tell you is there's only so much stuff you can do!! I'm sacrificing so many things for my career rn, going hard on study and volunteering and CV building. I'm doing good in that form of success... but truthfully.. I never really wanted to be on this grind. I'm doing it because it's a smart thing that will set me up for a good life later, it's stupid to turn down opportunities at your door, but I don't wanna be doing it!! I've missed out on so many things socially! I have basically no friends and no memories to speak of for the last 5 years of even a SINGLE adventure. It makes me feel like a total failure as a human, like I only exist to output. Just a cog in the machine with no worth to the community outside of profit. It's really nice to remember that this is temporary, and that even if this phase of my life is CV grinding, the next phase might be super-awesome-adventure having with all the money I'll be getting thanks to my CV grinding (I hope. pls don't turn out to be a cope lol). It's just.. impossibel to be it all. In this society you just can't be CV grinding and adventure having and creative projecting and relationship investing without hard drugs, tbh. You gotta pick one and then try switch between them sometimes. Thanks so much for your wholesome video!
I love these stories of people who essentially found themselves at a later age. Also the message of not necessarily being amazing at something is so wholesome in a way. I have a parent who is always comparing me to young CEOs/business owners etc and it’s really annoying.
I'm 23 as well and was feeling this same way lately. This video popped up in my timeline and decided to watch it for the cute drawings and now I feel a sort of weight lifted off my shoulders. Thank you so much, truly 💛
I also lost a lot of years to mental illness. Im 28 now and so scared of being 30. Im disabled and cant work so it feels like I have no life accomplishments and im getting too old to be the person I'd hoped to be when I was younger. This was very relateable and comforting
Dude i freaking love you, as a 17 year old i've been learning through all this stuff as my life goes on and it's nice to hear someone repeat it pretty much verbatim as it goes through my head. so hell yeah, fun is for all ages, do yo stuff and have fun :D
This kind of message is always such a nice reminder to get. I'm 29 years old but I feel so far behind all my peers because I didn't realize I had ADHD that was severely holding me back until I was 27, didn't start noticing I might also be Autistic until this past year, & last year I also developed Fibromyalgia because the sheer amount of stress & small traumas I've experienced throughout my whole life finally made my nervous system explode. I'm trying to be kind & understanding towards myself, I've had to grieve a lot this past year, but I still get incredibly anxious because of all the things I believe I have to do (y'know, cuz I do want to do something with my life, I'm an artist, I can't put that down, even tho right now, my disability forced me to put it on hold). The world is on fire & I want to provide comfort to others but I've had to put myself first to a higher degree than I've ever done before (& I am a bit of a people pleaser, so it hasn't felt good all the time). I've had to rethink everything in life, reconsider what I truly want to pursue & what's worth it, & figure out how to navigate life while disabled... it's been a very lengthy process, but I must always remember this... I still have so much time. I'm not a failure, even if I still have intrusive thoughts that I suck & life isn't worth it. I'm just going to go at my own pace, because it's just as good as the pace of others who are my age or younger, even if they appear to be successful already.
Im in a similar boat as you. My Mom told me to look into Autism when I was 22 or so and so I did and I still haven't been professionally diagnosed yet, despite my attempts to find a clinic that tests adults AND accepts my insurance. I'm 27 now. I learned at 25 or 26 that I also have ADHD. Yesterday it hit me, after a therapy session, that I have battled depression longer than I realized, because you can feel happy and still be depressed. You can still experience joy, and still suffer from depression. I always wondered how people can wake up and just be ready to tackle the world AS SOON as they get out of bed. The reason? They aren't struggling with Depression, ADHD AND Autism. The most debilitating thing is when your executive dysfunction isn't working and other people's around you are and you just wanna cry because what gives them the right to be able to just DO things without feeling like the are using ALL of their energy PLUS access energy? It's difficult. Also when dealing with recovering from two different SA situations growing up as well, also makes for a difficult experience. I hope you are flourishing right now. 15 year old me wanted an apartment of my own and job at 18. Then I turned 18 and reality slapped me in the face for several years. Now I'm 27 and have my own apartment and I feel so proud of myself
Are you me?? Same ages and everything. I hope you have a good support system or are building one. I can’t tell my family about my disabilities because they’re so anti-mental-health. I feel like I’m starting my life from scratch. But it’s a comfort to know I’m not alone in these struggles at least. Sending you love and luck! ❤
@@alexskywalker5478 Congrats on your apartment!! You do you, at your pace, at your comfort, and at your ability. I think it's a lot to manage depression ADHD and autism at once, and with this morning I really related to your experience not being able to do anything because I felt the same way (only left my room around 5 pm... whoops). That doesn't make us any less successful, where the true success is in what we have finally accomplished for us :D
Oh my god I'm 23, I have those thoughts most of the time, they make me spiral and get into depressive episodes even. loved this so much please don't stop creating💛
I'm an artist who just turned 37 and I feel like I've missed my chance to do anything with my life. I grew up online with other artists when DeviantArt started, and as I got older and started dealing with mental illness, physical illness and other life situations, the generations after me were zooming by, starting their careers much earlier, running small businesses at 17 and making professional level art in their 20s. I try not to be bitter (I'm happy for them, but I sometimes wish I was born later so I could do things differently) because I do want to be a full time artist, but I don't want brand deals or popularity. I just want to make things I enjoy, hopefully for a living. But I feel like I've missed my chance or that I'll never get one, and as I approach 40 I feel like it's too late, and I've wasted all of my time, and that my work isn't valuable because it isn't profitable. Your video was what I needed to see in this moment, I think. I don't feel so alone. I always felt like I was being selfish, looking at the younger generations and thinking "damn, I wish that were me" or wishing I'd had the same resources (not social media necessarily, but more accessible knowledge and tools). ANYWAY, thank you for making this, sorry this turned into a vent. I wish you the very best ♥I just stumbled across your video, but I'll check out the rest of your channel ^_^ Have a great day!
Hey, I'm 17 and the part where you wished you were born later resonated with me, but in the opposite way. I sometimes think about how much have I ''missed out'' by not experiencing internet and videogame scene earlier. And nowadays with the amount of all the kind of content on the internet I feel bad for missing out this video, this channel, this game etc. But I'm realising I don't got to see and perfect everything. Modern times really push you for ''goals'' and ''success''. It's like living imaginatory future instead of perceptible present. I certainly understand your envy of what younger people can succeed nowadays, however, at the same time this huge competition makes it less valuable now. Like that saying: ''If everyone is special, then no one is.'' So ultimately, just live present, your worries are just beating around the bush. Your life is a tiny story on this planet, so keep it tiny, just to yourself and who/what matters. There isn't a wrong or right path, just your own. Go ahead with drawing or wahtever else that makes you simply feel present. As I like to think to myself- everyday is the same fine day, not any happier or more sad. So have a fine day, stranger
Wow, Owie, that really put things into perspective, I thought that getting a job later than other people meant i Was "lazy" or "lesser" because I mysteriously thought everyone got a job at 18 bang on, But seeing you put your life into perspective (which is already a tiny bit ahead of me) Really eased my mindset of "I NEED TO DO SOMETHING OR IT'S WRONG, I'M WASTING TIME" But, sometimes i forget, how much time we truly have. Thank you, This has ended probably the worst mindset I've had. And now I can worry less. And all of this from a funny British animated cat nonetheless, for all the faults the internet has, it really has its beautiful moments.
I'm so glad this video got recommended to me right now. I'm 23 and yesterday was doing all sorts of panicking. I know it's cliché but knowing you're not alone is so comforting. I also still need to get my licence.. Sending lots of love to all, try and put ur happiness first if you can. We got this!!
thank you so much honestly this helped to clean my thoughts about seeing other people/artists starting doing stuff earlier than me and me having existential dread after that not you nor really anyone should compare yourself with others in a deragatory way you just need to know that everything's going to be okay eventually and you still have time!
Societal norms and pressure are no joke - I'm 28 and just feel.... behind? But for the most part, I'm happy, and that's what really matters. Still, it's difficult to not feel those pressures at times. I needed this video, thank you.
I just turned 31 at the start of this month, and I was struggling with similar thoughts and feelings. This video and the affirmations at the end are exactly what I needed to hear, thank you so much!
Thank you! It's so nice to hear something like this. I'm in my late 30's and I do often fear I'm "running out of time" to do things with my life (and that I'm not where I "should" be), but it's really good to have a shift in perspective like this so I don't convince myself to stop trying. I also love your animations!💖
This video is really nice to watch! Society makes us feel like we have to be doing *something* productive and profitable as soon as possible, but that isn’t the case for most people, a lot of us only figure out exactly what we want to do or be at 25-30 or even older and that’s ok. And if what you want to do is have a humble career and live a humble, but comfortable life, that’s fine too! that seems like the goal I’m going for lol
Well. This was surprisingly wholesome and soothing to my battered heart. I’ve been listlessly trying to find my footing and felt utterly helpless, and it does feel like everyone else seems to have it figured out already. These sorts of things feel like they oughta be obvious but I’m definitely glad you decided to make it known and that I decided to check it out
-Graduated university at 24 -Moved out of my parents house at 26 -Got my first big girl job that I love at 26 -Still renting now at 29 -Not married, but in a loving 4yr relationship -And, no kids 😊 (but I'm def not in a rush lol) At all the people just barely entering their 20s, trust me when I say it gets better. You have the power to choose how you want to live , whether that's focusing on a life of comfort and coziness or doing something you never done before!! Both are okay! I know it's everywhere but it really is true, just ENJOY THE PROCESS. Enjoy your journey , no matter what it is. The older you get, time does feel faster, so relax and enjoy today. I turn 30 in October and one thing that has helped immensely for my mental health is cutting time from being online so much. The algorithms will only feed you what you keep looking at, whether it's good for you or not. Better to curate your content to find other people living the way you aspire to live, or to be more offline and focus on yourself! I'm extremely happier now at 29 than I was at 19 and I'm only getting better , and you will too ❤
I'm 23 as well and I just feel like I wasted so much time not having any sense of direction that now that I DO know what I want to do with my life, I just feel like too much time has already passed and I'm lagging behind :( But this video was so so helpful!!! Thank you for posting
this month I turned 21, and I think I really needed this, because I've been feeling stuck and burnt out for a very long time. but I was always pressured and even threatened to keep going and going and going. but there's only so much I can put out at a time. I started to feel like a failure because I was watching everyone move on without me and I felt like I was losing time, and opportunities. I practically have had multiple mental breakdowns and panic attacks and existential crises every day, and I often struggled with SI among other things, because I thought, "well, what's the point in even staying here when I contribute so little, if anything at all? why am I still here when all I do is try so hard, only to fail? I'm not smart enough to do this, not pretty or skinny enough to do that, I'm too young/old for this." I wasn't able to enjoy being a teen, and being a child wasn't the best either, so I've constantly felt like I've lost time. I was also controlled a lot more than what was considered normal as a teen, and well into "adulthood" too (when I tried to become more independent, it felt like my mother tried to prevent that), so it feels like my mental age never progressed past 17 or so sometimes. it feels like I subconsciously try to make up for the years I lost. (Even at 18 I was constantly treated like a child until I messed up, then I was held responsible and scolded like an adult, which I feel plays into that sometimes too. sometimes i didn't understand how or why i messed up, because i really wasn't taught basic skills or how to care for myself, or how to do particular things. I only know to do what I'm told after an explanation if necessary. it made me feel stupid. sometimes I was told to not even cry about some things, because I'm too old to and I need to act like an adult.) i was kinda rushed into growing up, sometimes even praised for being mature while still young. but it didn't feel good. now, I miss being younger, when it was okay to be immature and silly and i could do things like have water fights without being shamed. I sometimes act like a teen and still sort of dress like one (alt/goth clothes are kind of like my style) so much to the point that my coworkers thought I WAS still a teenager, even though I'm not yet that far from it, technically speaking. it still made me feel a bit ashamed because not only did I see myself as a failure, but I practically feel like I am a toddler with a drinking permit. I felt too silly and immature, and I felt like that's why people didn't like me or listen to me well. I felt like I was just all sorts of messed up and that I couldn't fix anything wrong about me, especially when it came to my personality or producing timely results that everyone expected of me. not to mention, i was constantly being compared to people since childhood, which only made me come closer to the devastating conclusion that I was a failure in everyone else's eyes. this video helped me realize that I CAN SLOW DOWN. the world won't end, I won't wake up the next day at 90 years old and regret taking a break because of it, I won't get anywhere faster no matter how often i'm compared to people. I dont need to rush to achieve my goal, because there is no certainty that IT IS MY END GOAL FOREVER. things change. I need to take my time and enjoy life, especially my youth, while i still have it. So, I really want to thank you, this helped me kind of get out of my own head and helped me look at my age with more optimism. it helped me reevaluate myself. Thank you so much :) also, sorry for rambling ^^;
oh my god...u described my situation so perfectly...sometimes I forget that there are people out there who know what the situations I have experienced feel like..and then I hate myself more, because I wonder why am like this, yk? Thank you for writing ur comment it made me feel comforted and I feel a bit more reassured...We got this bro! Hopefully, we will find our paths soon and succeed. :)
I'm turning 17 next month, really needed this lol. Honestly though, thanks for the perspective. I've gotten quite worried about the greater future in relation to myself, but I just need to find a way to be comfy enough with who and where I am. Hugs from Ohio.
As a 23 yo who spent my teenage years mentally ill too i can confirm that youth is just a concept. It's never too late to start. I had social anxiety in elementary school untill i graduated from junior high school. In high school i got depressed untill my college years, this made me 2 years late to graduate. Last year my psychiatrist told me i have bipolar disoder, not just depression. It was only few months ago i made peace with myself, people who hurt me, and the world. It's a long journey, but instead of thinking i had lost so much time, i rather think i've also grown from it. My mental state is stronger now, i also gain critical thinking and good empathy skill from it. I could say my way of thinking is better than most of my friends who never experience years of mental illness (i hope they never have to experience it tho). It could be a blessing in disguise depends on how u think about it. Im still in my last year in college now working on my thesis, still consuming medicines from my therapist. Instead of comparing myself to more successfull people than me, i'm trying to comparing my present self with my past self. She has grown so much its like i was a completely different person. So just try things that you like. Don't think about how big the gap of your journey with other people's. Think about the exitement and fun you get when doing it!
im 26. i struggle with this a lot. my family always compared to my more successful cousins, how i was destined to work as a garbage person if i didnt catch up, and it kinda left me with this mindset that if im not on par with my peers or better than younger people id be a failure of a human, and people have told me that everyone goes at their own pace but even then i told myself "why did i have to have a shitty pace then" at least im not the only one feeling like this, and this video helped me with these feelings. thanks uwu
I feel you, fellow shitty pace haver. It feels more comforting to have someone else who's having the same struggle than having someone who's got their life figured out giving life advice.
38. I had a hyper strict and controlling biological family that kept me on a short leash well into adulthood. Like, I wasn’t allowed to have hobbies that cost money or required allowing me to be with my peers, and my elders decided that I was the Designated Housebound Caregiver S*xless Spinster of the family. I often feel like I am so far behind because of this. Thank you.
I just turned 30 a few days ago, and especially since my brother works at Google, I feel like the least successful/adulty adult in my family. I needed this video, thank you
my ex worked at google while I was taking an extra year at high school. I feel this through and through :')
I always felt less than my brother because i was the younger sibling and therefore i was supposed to be "the good one, the one with future"(cause i had good grades and all), yet i repeated the 5th school year of my academic system TWICE, IF NOT ALMOST THREE TIMES, and it got me years to get my "análitico"(the st*pid legal paper that says you overcome school and such, i missed the conmemorative diploma ceremony tho)
Yet here i am, happy, and i know i'm the smart one, despite having no legal job(doing handmade jewerly does me some money) and literally being a depressive @ssh0l3.
So let me say it:
Reality is always better than what you imagine it is, specially if you start comparing yourself to others, or their expectations.
What matters is *not* how "socially succefull" you are, what matters is that you are happy with your life and your own set of achievements.
My achievement was finishing highschool, it took me so so much time than i wanted, but i finally did, and it felt like i finished something in life, even if it was so meaningless to anyone else, it meant the heaven to me, bc of how much stress and effort it took for me.
And that's what matters, feel happy with your own boundaries, and everything else will move along eventually❤
@@owiebrainhurtsisn’t Google all the way in America?
@@alex.g7317 Google got offices in different countries.
they have many different offices :) @@alex.g7317
this was cute and comforting
yooo cool moves my guy
love to see you here Zan
You're cute and comforting.
tru n real
i was concerned at 23@@senismarsenis9678
as someone who was 21 in 2005, i can tell ya, the self-comparisons were around looooong before youtube or social media. all i can tell you is my life has only gotten better and better after 25...and then after 35....there REALLY is no age limit. i keep being shocked by how little i was before - kind of how a 12 year old looks like an adult to a 4 year old 😂 your older self will always see your younger self as a tiny baby with so much time. enjoy it ✨
just turned 22 today, really feeling useless because I'm still just a student. Your comment gave me comfort.
@@nanan8992I graduated from uni at 24. You’ve got plenty of time!
@@Emiliciaa Thank you! I'll keep that in mind whenever the anxieties kick in
@@nanan8992 useless is peaceful. i miss the time when no one relied on me, enjoy it.
@@nanan8992 I hope you had a happy birthday
I'm 15 with a chronic fear of adulthood & I found this video comforting. Getting old is universal & success is personal
I'm less stressed at 23 than I was at 16 - I'm sure you'll be a-okay
That last line, "Getting old is universal and success is personal."
What a great way of putting that. I've never been able to put it into words like that, and thinking of it that way re-contextualizes a lot.
ur just like me fr
im 16 and i know this video is just wishful thinking
I also didn't want to grow up. However, life is way better now than I could have imagined in high school. I decided I didn't want to complete college and instead got a full time job. Besides that commitment I have a bf of two years who is amazing. Even between significant others progression is different. Don't hold yourself to insane standards (example from my own life "I'm not perfect and therefore don't deserve to exist") because beating yourself up about things out of your control is not good. Only God is perfect. If you're not God don't worry about not being perfect. Also I'm only in my early 20's, I have money and freedom and love. Life is just beginning and I hope you have a great life!
I'm 36. I was miserable in my mid 20s because I wasn't a famous comic artist and gave up drawing. Turns out I was even more miserable without drawing, and I changed how I thought about art. I decided to stop caring about trying to get popular and just focused on improving my skills. As time passed, I felt a lot happier. Age ain't a reason to give up. Do what you want. For yourself.
What’s your art?
I felt this to my core and I'm 29 at the end of November 🥹
❤❤👏👏
can you share a link to your art?
Learned to drive at 29 (more than a decade after crashing my car the first time I drove)
Learned to swim at 28
Graduated uni at 27
Came out as queer at 30
First full time job at 24
First relationship at 23
First breakup at 29
First time on a plane at 18
First time to the dentist at 19
Diagnosed with adhd at 30
Diagnosed with ptsd at 23
Learned to control panic attacks 30
Growing up looks different for everyone, enjoy it!
as a 20 yr old who’s feeling behind, thank you for this ❤️
I also came out as queer at 30. Some might call us late bloomers but it really doesn't fickin matter
How’d you learn to manage panic attacks cause I got that n ptsd as well n would love to hear what worked for others as I’m tryna figure this life shit out myself as well lol
Thanks for saying all of this! Social media truly is a monster.
@@JC-ts5ii Talk therapy helped me ✨ Good luck!
I am currently 28 and have always felt that I lost my "youth" due to my mental illnesses. Your "Youth is a concept" argument started turning the thought process in my head. It is a concept. Thank you for making the video. Count me as one who needed to hear that as well.
Also, there is no "suddenly adult" mental switch. People are who they are all through aging. You never really "feel" old
Same. 😔
I relate. I am exactly your age, I was hospitalized for most of my youth and never got to do "teenage things" like party on cheap booze, rebel against my parents, or recite angsty poetry underneath the stars in the grassy lot behind the school. I think I'm going to make up for that lost time now; I'm going to find all of the youth shit I never got to do and do them now instead.
same here, I wish I knew other people irl who had the same situation, at least there are other people here so I know I'm not alone 💞
Youth is not a concept. Have you ever worked a shift with an 18 year old? They make me feel extra old 😂
I'm 37, still working on my arts and growing as an artist. Success is measured differently by everyone in different ages.
KEEP IT UP BRUV
That sounds amazing!
Hello fellow 30something artist who likes raccoons! I like you av :D
I'm in the same boat as you. keep moving forward.~
29 and artist too!
I'm 50. Mental illness has stolen my entire adult life. Never had a job, my own place, or a relationship. Keeping ahead of the "give up, loser!" thoughts is a challenge. But something in me keeps me from ever really giving up. I will keep going no matter what, for better and for worse.
Proud of you
@@unemployedphilosopher5072Thank you, kind stranger. Love your username. But really, is there such a thing as an employed philosopher? :) If so, show me, because that's a job at which I would excel.
I am so proud of you. Mental illness is a huge burden to carry. Keep going, you're doing so much better than you think you are. ❤
@@jennypapworth1426 Thank you, I will!
Thank you. I might not be an "adult" yet, but everyone around me is already stressing me out about my future. The people close to me want me to be at the top of the pyramid, but I feel I'd be happier in the middle, and not too many people will let me admit that.
I was so much more stressed about my future when I was a teenager honestly. Especially coming from a household where my mom kinda implied I had to get a job to be able to help support her when I "become successful" it put so much pressure on me to succeed and get a job with a lot of money, that I spent years agonizing over which career path I would take, so much so, that I ended up procrastinating going to college at all. I was so terrified of wasting my time and money going to school for something I didn't enjoy doing, or might fail at, or might get a degree and not be able to get hired for. I eventually went to school after they basically considered me a failure and that pressure finally lifted off of me. I'm doing much better now at 26, and finally getting my life together, thanks to only myself. I hope it all goes well for you! If you find yourself in a similar situation, I hope you can be kind to yourself and find happiness in your daily life, like I do :)
LITERALLY!!! im 17 and up until VERY recently, whenever i would mention wanting to pursue art and music as like a career, my mom would almost word-for-word say “you know you can’t like….. Actually do that right?” or at least something meant to convey that exact thing without being mean………. fortunately since then my family has significantly lowered their expectations for me! i expect to find my place somewhere near the bottom of the pyramid in terms of “am i someone Very Important (TM)” and that is fine! i am the guy who plays the healer and takes the harmony part in a violin duet so my friend can have their cool solo, i am completely fine with not being Mr. Important Business Guy as long as im an important guy to my friends and family!
my ideal life is like, being some medieval king’s pet artist guy that lives in the tower and makes strange paintings that utterly fascinate the royal family. as long as i have my art supplies, an internet connection, and something to sleep on, I Am Chilling ❤️ im like if a potted plant was a guy basically
Tru tho
If most people weren't at the bottom, it wouldn't be a pyramid.
@@SotiCoto it reminds me of the difference in average and median. The "average" experience might not even reflect the most common experience
this is such an important message to hear as a disabled person.
i got sick around 4 years ago and haven't been able to start college, get a job, or even get my driver's permit. i went from someone who was always dragging behind my peers for seemingly no reason (undiagnosed autism and adhd among other things) to having a "reason" for not measuring up.
at first i was (and still am from time to time) really hard on myself for not meeting expectations and being a burden to my family for needing extra support. but it really did reframe for me just how arbitrary the age and maturity goals i had set for myself for so long were. why did i need an "excuse" to get extra help? and if i needed an excuse, how did i view others who struggled to meet those same goals, especially those who are also disabled? i could choose my pride about being "on par" or i could choose to be patient with myself. i realized just how unhappy the former made me.
comparison is the thief of joy, and when we view ourselves critically, we judge others as well. by being kinder to ourselves we can be kinder to everyone. we don't have to play by rules that don't allow us to be happy.
I got diagnosed with autism and ADHD at the start of the year and it's helped me so much with not feeling like I'm lazy or weak. Not everyone has the same circumstances and it's so important to treat yourself with kindness if you have things going on that might make life trickier !!
It really does one no good to compare one's success, maturity, and achievement against another, when one is neurodivergent and others are neurotypical. Take it from another Autistic person, your brain is literally wired different. You will always have a different life experience than the so-called "normals". Don't fret about it, and certainly don't feel bad for asking for help.
If anything, it's Allistic society that's failing _you._ Demanding you contort yourself into knots and subject yourself to discomfort or trauma, just so _they_ and the system built for them never needs to lift one finger to accommodate the differently abled. Where being asked to be flexible or bend their arbitrary social rules _slightly_ for you is somehow a deplorable crime. That's an entire normative society of spoiled children, right there.
(That our Capitalist system is a veritable engine of human suffering and exploitation doesn't help matters. Lots of people fall through the cracks, through no fault of their own, because the system is cruel and takes everything from you. And encourages those who can just keep their head above water, or who had unfair advantages handed to them, think they're morally superior to those who can't or didn't.)
@@owiebrainhurts Same, only I got diagnosed half way through last year.
@@owiebrainhurtsMy thoughts, as someone with only ADHD (as far as any kind of diagnoses go): having something to _overcome_ or _tend to,_ rather than holding on to something to lament, like being born a vaguely ‘lazy person’-I think that can be super good for people experiencing the kind of struggles associated with autism and ADHD. It’s why I’ve seriously come around on the idea of self-diagnosis. Knowing yourself on an internet-research basis may not be as helpful as seeing your experiences filtered through a medical education, but often it’s better than nothing. (Yes, I still think formal diagnosis is useful, just for a smaller subset of conditions, or some aspects of conditions. To some extent, the average person knows their body and mind.)
Your words are as *replete* as your *soul!* Mankind needs a savior such as *YOU!*
(I really found your final remark very touching. I just wanted you to know that I screenshot that excerpt and will be saving it in my personal collection : ^)
I'm 30, went through a bad breakup and ended up back at my mom's house, delivering pizzas for a living, trying to chase a music career again, just within the last year started figuring out my gender identity, and this video made me cry
good luck for us. 31, and trying to being an artist
how the fuck does anyone struggle with finding out their gender identity? if you were born a male you're a male and if you were born a female you're a female, it's that simple.
Happy for both of you in this thread!!
sounds like you are doing a great job
question: how are you doing right now? and what are your plans going forward?
just to reiterate something rq, the part where you quantified adulthood timespan eased so much existential dread. Thanks for addressing the topics addressed. I feel like it isn’t talked about enough, especially in your style (i love your style).
i’m also 23 and JUST started pursuing painting as a hobby, and i would like to sell my work some day. it’s tough seeing 15 year olds posting masterpieces or 19 year olds living and working in beautiful spacious art studios for a living. this video reminded me i can become successful at any age, and i’m not lesser than those people because i’m “old” LOL :) thank you for posting ❤
Something that I’ve only realized recently is that these people are only “remarkable” because they’re doing this stuff at a young age… But what happens when they grow up? Not so remarkable then, isn’t it?
Like, imagine how damaging it is to your mental health to have your fame and reputation tied so deeply to your youth! That’s why child stars/child prodigies are usually super messed up when they grow older: their peak was when they were kids and it’s all downhill from there.
So you know what, I think I’m fine being 23 and not having reached my peak yet. I hope you can be too!
@@rubyy.7374 that’s a great way of putting it! i’ve never thought about it like that! i’m fine having not reached my peak yet either :)
Never give up. Pro tip, if you feel like your in an art slump, work on your art fundies, or you know, take a break… for like a month… or a year 😅
Art is an emotion work. You don’t need to create masterpiece, as long you’re create artwork for yourself. Art never have ages! ❤
Who said your work aint good enough for people to wanna buy it? If it connects with someone they will wanna buy it nomater the skill
Watching this at 32 as a renter with debt to pay off, not even sure what I want my career to be, watching my friends have children and buy houses was an absolute balm for the soul.
Just enjoy the day.
31, going on 32 in November. same here ;-;
turning 34 this year, all I got are 3 cats and a wife and too much debt I have acquired in order to go to university which I then dropped out of due to depression and a bunch of other mental health related stuff. I am now working in tech and burning out at each job. I had to get my shit together in order to be able to write this comment. At this stage I have even given up all hopes to become ever successful in my life. I have accepted the fact that I won't be able to afford housing. I am still hoping to be able to afford kids.
I'm 38, I still rent, I have about 18k in student loans left to pay off, and I've only *just* (like as of a few weeks ago) really started my career, but I am quite content :)
Its not a race! Idk why we're made to feel like it is one. Congrats on the career
@@owiebrainhurts Thanks :D
100% not a race. Lots of other great points in the video I wish I had learned when I was younger.
Really enjoying your work!
in fact it’s a little insane to frame it as a race, cause like, what are you competing for?? contentment with your life??? you don’t need to get there FIRST to… get there… finding a happy life for yourself doesn’t get less happy the later you get there yknow? it’s a really strange way to view life……. and whoever made people start thinking like that needs to shut up forever lol
Congrats bruther🎉🎉🎉🎉
@@ilikecookies230 awe, thanks :D
40 yo man here with two kids and recently graduated from college. Just do whatever! The part about “what if I just want to dedicate my life to being cozy” about sums up what I’ve discovered about life. And honestly, it’s a relief. We live with so much expectation and pressure, sometimes internally, and in reality it doesn’t actually matter especially if that causes you pain. Enjoy life. Whatever that means to you.
Hey man, congratulations!! Your kids must be proud of you, good on you for making that step and getting on a path to a better future.
thank you so much for this comment. im only 16, but this really reassures me on life.
lol they arent at that age yet but thank you@@mrs.quills7061
This comment made me feel better cuz the video actually made me feel worse 😂 she’s so young still
as someone who is 25 and still at uni/college, I feel so "old" compared to my peers and sometimes even inadequate to be there but I know that everyone is at different stages in life and we are all different, we come from different backgrounds, and we all have had different opportunities. It is never too late!! Thank you for this video
same , i just started tho ù.ù
Good luck❤
I'm only about two years out of college at 26, and also feel old for someone who doesn't have a position in either an full time or office job or in a field I have aimed for. Back in fall of 2022 I had the sheer existential terror of working part-time retail during the holidays and needing to see someone's ID, only for them to have the same exact birthday as me, and she had a kid in her arms and a husband at her side.
I have to remind myself that of the three friends from school years that I'm still close with, one is still in college and living with their parents, another is struggling to get by on gig work while living with his girlfriend after having got a degree in film, and the third only just moved out of his parents home while working long hours in construction.
my mom is 40 herself and was feeling rather down like she usually did because she felt like it was too late and/or impossible to do anything anymore (given we live in iran; it's even worse) and i always wanted to tell her that's not true but i could never phrase it cohesively.
so i sat her down and translated the video live for her as you talked; thank you so much for everything! ❤❤
this is so, so sweet. sending you both all my love
@@owiebrainhurts you're helping a lot of people out! keep up the good work and much love!!
Oh my days...i'm 40 and don't have kids. I love my nephews to bits tho.
I'm trying not to cry, this is so sweet!!
Your mom is 40?!!!?!! Oh god that’s only 11 years older than me
I'm currently 32 and this video has a very important message. Especially for teenagers and people in their 20s. I pretty much wasted my own 20s, working jobs that I hated while figuring out what I really want in life and how to get there. I actually felt like giving up for a while. Watching others get ahead in life while I was struggling to even get my career started was extremely demotivating and I felt left behind. At 28 I dropped everything to go back to college and get a degree. Graduated last year at 31. I finally feel like maybe there's hope after all, and perhaps it was okay to not be the top dog in my industry by 22. I also later found out that apparently I'm not alone. So many people spent their 20s really figuring themselves out. It is RIDICULOUSLY unreasonable to expect teenagers and even people in their early 20s to already have their whole lives planned out, much less already having achieved their goals.
At some level, isn't life about the journey of achieving your goals? If you've already achieved all your goals and become super successful at 23, then what are you gonna spend the next 60+ years doing? Just stay stagnated in that position until you die? Not the worst place to stagnate, but surely having goals to work towards is more interesting.
Completely agree! I'm also someone that has recently graduated college before turning 31, and have had to admit to people that I'm still figuring myself out. Real life is all about changes - sometimes what people think they want to do for the rest of their lives might not be the same thing they are into or find joy/passion out of within a decade (or half a decade) later.
Institutions that project an ideal of older teens/young adults having their whole life set on one thing doesn't fit with how the real world will affect people's interests, especially as they get older. Unfortunately, with the way our societies are built, I'm not surprised that too many young people feel pressured to have their whole lives figured out too soon. :(
dude i feel that, at 21, my mom is trying to DRILL ME to get a full time career as fast as possible. im in college and working part time and this is my second year. i hate it so much because i feel like that woman took a lot away from me, mainly my teenagehood. it felt like all i was good for was results i produced. it kinda felt like i wasnt a person to some people.
I know the feeling. Just do your own stuff snd figure it out hy yourself. Stop listening to her pressures. Later on if you can just move out, maybe even go no contact on her.
@@SkyRied1 I'm really trying man, but I don't make enough to move out on my own yet and she likes to try threatening to kick me out. Shes been doing it since I was 18
maybe you're right
this was genuinely comforting. it feels a little stupid after watching this, but im turning 18 in a week and im terrified. ive been worried about being an adult for years, and now its here. i dont know what i want to do with my life yet, and the fear is made worse by the fact that all my friends seem to know what they want to do, or at least have something theyre good at. ive somehow got to this point in my life without really learning any skills or having any hobbies [which i recently realised is probably because i have adhd and have difficulty with sticking to things]. life is terrifying, and i actually started crying while writing this. hopefully i dont die homeless and alone
this is way too relatable i hope it gets better for the both of us
Hi, 20 year old here, just wanted to say its super common to have no clue what to do or what you're good at. Its fine, people seem to somehow think that 18 year olds should have their lives figured out but that's super unrealistic. Most of the people that have a plan currently will end up changing their mind or dropping out or whatever. Its normal. Most of my friends still have no idea what they want to do if I'm being honest. Try exploring things that seem interesting to you. Go down some research rabbit holes, maybe take a class at a community college if you have the funds (and it seems like something you'd be into). Also if you either of you ever happen to go to college, its wayy easier to get an ADHD diagnosis through the school counselor. Good luck you two, I believe in you! You've got plenty of time.
I wish you the best.
i was in the same shoe before and mann thats really killing me so i know what u feel.
Thing that helped me after so many attempts of solving the problem is that:
i start to find out/research who's creating me & why am i made this way (aka comeback to God) because turned out He's the Creator of everything & All-Knowing of everything (including myself & you hehe) and then i talked to Him about everything (basically rant/vent/openup/getting off everything off my chest).
I was non-religious person & turned out it makes me soo freaking messed up because i was "hating" religion & the rules & avoid them all cost (im Muslim), thats why anxiety/fear of future/etc. easily mess around me & i cant count how many time i get lost so quickly.
After so many open up to Him, IT DOES STARTED TO SOLVED THE PROBLEM OMG- so i try to read the Qur'an Translation & finding more about who am i why am i here whats my role in this world etc etc, then SOMEHOW solutions just popped-up one by one like a dominos, sounds like "WHATTT-" but really thats what i experienced ngl (yes God DOES is All-Hearing & All-Seeing, i cant believe i was a blind idiot abt this argh-)
Tbh i really felt like being pulled out of darkness into the step of light & full of clarity because of Him, the more i try to talk to Him the more peace & comfort i started to experience (ofc here im not trying to be a preacher who try to annoy somebody lol i just being honest abt my own testimony :D)
Just sharing this just in case you didn't know you need it, i hope it helps! :)
It's also important to remember nobody's at their best 24/7, so trying something and failing is okay too
I'm 36, turning 37 soon. Every year that passes you think you are "losing your youth", but ironically, you never really do :) You might go through some pretty rough patches and feel pretty defeated and tired for some time, but you end up learning that that also passes, and that youth is a state that you might not be always in, but you are always capable of :)
This right here
Youth is a mentality. You can be young and act old or be old and feel young.
Youth imo is the risk factor of developing issues. It's a physical thing, not a mindset thing. I'm pretty sure I'll keep the same mindset I've always had, but the body won't be able to keep up.
Thanks for this. Whenever people are deathly afraid of aging like it's a disease you can avoid catching, it feels so sad. With aging (hopefully lol) comes wisdom, and it becomes easier and easier to let things go that seemed huge at age 10, that seemed huge at age 20, etc
@@shadowshatto That’s what makes it sad for me lol. I’m not “immature” but I have a child-like/youthful personality and mindset and I’m afraid that the older I get, my body/physical appearance won’t keep up with how I really am personality-wise and that I’ll get judged for it more by others. Not just that, but I worry over the idea of having unrealistic ambitions/goals for my age as I’m “aging”. Because you’re like, “I have so many things I want to do and achieve in my bucklist, but I’m only getting older I don’t know how much of it I’ll be able to actually carry out before I’m “too (physically/energetically) old” to do all of them.” Those are like some of my biggest life concerns as of now……… And I’m not even old at all. But time feels like it’s moving way too fast for me to process it. As well as having a tendency to be lazy/procrastinate being the contributing factors of my concerns.
I’m 23 too!! I’m so glad this video was recommended to me. It’s hard for me to break out of the mindset that I’ve wasted time or I should’ve accomplished things when I was younger but this video really helps with that. I’m just gonna work hard towards my goals and not stress too much on how long it takes to accomplish them. As long as I’m trying.
As someone reaching their 30's, i wish i could've heard this when i was younger- lol.
I, like some other people, "lost my youth" due to invisible disabilities and lack of support. What i wish i could tell myself then is the same thing i have to convince myself of now, which is: the world does want you around even though it doesn't feel like it. Keep trying, you're not failing just bc many things haven't and don't work out. Please be kinder and gentler to yourself bc you deserve to and you'll never have the same path as someone else. It's ok, you'll be ok.
Those are good affirmations. I wish you the best for everything
thanks for this
i literally turned 23 today. this video came at a perfect time for me, and the fact you even mentioned being the EXACT SAME AGE AS ME NOW absolutely struck me in a critical point
i'm saving this video forever to watch whenever i feel down about this kind of stuff
happy birthday !! thank you for the kind words
Exactly the same for me as i'm also 23
I'll be 68 next month. I thought this was going to be about not being "too old" when you're actually old. I think success is best measured in being able to look back and know that you did what you wanted to do. Money comes and goes. People come and go. Figure out what makes you happy and do that. Success.
Damn. On the one hand I look back and I have been horribly successful and yet I can look back and be satisfied that my life is broken because I wanted or chose NONE of this. IT is literally a historical chain of me coping with unfavourable events. Barely D=
I’m 24, and I just got my driver’s permit for the first time. I failed the written test two times prior, and I was really beating myself up about it. I thought I was pathetic for not keeping up with kids I knew who started driving in high school. But I went in the testing room and saw people well over my age. Some probably for renewals, others possibly their first time. Either way, I stopped feeling so old and out of place once I stepped back and reflected on the world.
I hope my words can help as much as this video has helped me. Thanks again!
I did it when I was like 21, a bit late.
But then during covid the DMV made it impossible to renew my license, and eventually I just forgot.
So a year after driving on an expired license I found I couldn't just renew it, I had to take the test again.
And I failed the first time, because I drove like a person who has been driving for more than a decade rather than like someone taking a test.
The second time I made a show to exaggerate everything I was doing to be obnoxious because I was livid over the whole situation.
tbh I didn't get my drivers license till I was 25! It's not that uncommon to get it later :>
It seems to me that the more someone likes driving, the most likely they are going to get it first try and vice versa
For someone that doesn't like driving, it is like a necesity for them that they hate, like some people with their jobs
Just got my driver's license last year at 32, you are still very young. I lived in Chicago most of my adult life so I rode the trains and didn't have a car for years.
Okay but this is literally me, same age same story and everything. Before I went to college my parents didn't want me to learn to drive (despite teaching my brother 💀💀💀) and sent me a semester earlier than I wanted. 17-21 never learned to drive because public transportation. 21-24 COVID hit and I was an essential employee and had. Literally no time to myself. Spent the days working and the nights trying to decompress or dealing with chronic illness.
Moral of the story is time isn't real, cars are not age-gated. You're probably better off now because fine motor skills, awareness, more experience with being on the road and witnessing driving, familiarity with your surroundings etc. Etc.
Don't sweat it, you got this!! Congrats on passing. We'll be driving all over the dang place soon enough 🎉
Watching this again because I needed it (I’m a 2001 kid). I’m turning 22 and I still have no idea what I’m doing. At 16 I was told I was brilliant and gifted. Now I just feel average. Where did all that childhood creativity go? But this is right… and these were statistics I needed to know. I can’t let myself be stunted because I thought I’m already expiring.
Thank you for this!!
Just like me fr
same here, gifted kid my whole life, now im 24 in Uni and i feel so left behind
oh no
Finished my class 12th with 2nd highest marks in my school now after 6 years I don't know what I've become (I'm 22). Waking up watching youtube wasting whole day and then went to sleep... When I was wasting time I thought I had plenty of time (before this year). And this year when I realized I need to do something and I've tried to do few things but now new thought is killing my mind: You don't have enough time now you can't achieve anything your parents gonna for sure die tomorrow you won't be able to show them what you are capable of. So basically living my day to day life in the fear of that something bad might going to happen... And that bad thing hadn't happened in past 11 months.... But yeah slowly and gradually lifting myself up and trying to do something❣
Shooot I’m 24 about to be 25 in march still don’t know what I’m doing with my life your not expiring you got time left in the oven find true self.
I’m 28. I moved back into my parents house about 3 years ago. I’m going to community college and I have no idea what I’m doing with my life. I constantly fall into a spiral of thoughts that I’ve failed at life and there’s no hope for me. I needed this. Thank you for uploading this video.
You’re definitely not alone
I'm in the exact same boat (back at parents' house 3 years ago, at community college, feeling like I failed at life) at pretty much the same age I'm a year older than you. I do have some idea what I want to do but I don't know how it will turn out. You're definitely not alone in this!
@@elaine-s_joy 26, same boat
@@elaine-s_joy I wish you the best in whatever it is you're pursuing. Thanks for responding.
I’m 26 for only a couple more months, but I definitely relate to this video especially somebody who doesn’t have their drivers license and is still trying to graduate college! You still have time! My great uncle didn’t start painting until his late 70s and now he’s in an art museum!
Alwaus remember-- in the age of social media, we are overexposed to survivorship bias, and only share successes-- it's dangerously easy to think you suck when you don't because you're inadvertently comparing yourself to 0.0001% of people.
4:51 as a 21yo going into 22 soon, thank you, this video is a work of art (literally good art too) and it helped address all of my anxieties.
normally, i make sure to avoid videos like this with a positive perspective on the anxieties i have because they essentially make me remember the same fears im trying to distract myself from. but i clicked on this, probably because the cats felt non-threatening and welcoming, and it really soothed the voice in my head telling me im too late for things, especially being someone who also lost my "youth" years to mental illness and grew up on the internet.
Thank you so much, I really needed this. I'm a VTuber. Most people assume this means I'm in my mid-20s, and are shocked to hear I'm 40. It's one of the most Gen Z dominated creative niches on the internet, and here I am, someone who actually remembers seeing the Berlin Wall fall on the newspapers, being an anime girl online. I see a lot of content creators my age or younger who have fought for success for like, 10 years, and kick myself for the roads not taken. I feel sad for how my disability and other issues have gotten in the way of creating content until recently.
At the same time, I'm very concerned with the way social media shows us all these successful influencers at a time of increasing recession, increasing unemployment. It looks like a 'possible' way out, but for 99% of people it isn't. And that doesn't mean you can't thrive. I love being a creator. I love streaming and I love the small community I've created. But I admit, I do still struggle with these issues daily.
Again, thank you for making this.
It's so great to see someone being who they want to be at your age! I always thought that once you hit 30, you have to be this serious, "work, work, work" kind of person.
I agree with your second statement. Social media makes it seem like becoming a successful influencer is the best and ONLY way to enjoy life.
You'd be surprised. As someone in Vtuber space myself because my closest friends are, they're all in their 30s. Some in their 40s. Most don't have the financial stability or the schedule you need to be a Vtuber in their 20s. When I did a collab stream with a few pals, they were shocked to hear I'm 22 (Which.. I don't have a full Vtuber setup. I don't even have a computer. I don't live on my own and still live with my family. I'm not sure what made them come to that assumption lmfao). I constantly see vtubers crying about how the field is full of such younger and younger people... But ironically, I don't see it.
I'm 37. This February, I was laid off. I restarted my Twitch and TH-cam channel. It's still growing, but it definitely feels weird to be in a place where I feel like I'm still at the "beginning" when I'm almost 40. Thank you for this.
I’m so glad I read your comment! I just turned 37 last week and lost my job in august. I went from making $85k a year, to now making $500 a MONTH and applying for food stamps. It’s humbling. I’m restarting life and it’s been tough but there are some new things on the horizon that might be promising and worth the restart.
Perhaps I’ll get around to a TH-cam channel as well.
God bless!
🥹 happy early bday! But also yea now i’m slowly panicking as well i should be graduating college 2 years from now but somehow a year gets added and i feel like i’m being left behind
@@allianne hi friend! May I share my story with you as encouragement?
I started college straight out of high school in 2004 as a business management major. I lasted for all but 2 years when I was academically dismissed. At the time I had a 1.6 GPA. I was devastated.
I took a few part time jobs thereafter, but was so depressed that I ended up being late all of the time, so I lost those jobs. Not too long after I lost my job, I found an internship for a music magazine and learned a lot about different genres of music and where a lot of hip hop samples came from. I thoroughly enjoyed it.
The internship ended, and I wasn’t sure what to do next. I heard that my local public school needed a pianist for their after school choir, so I did that for a bit and then applied to be an assistant summer camp counselor at a preschool in the next town over.
The director of the school wanted to keep me on for the fall semester as an assistant teacher, so I accepted. I liked working with kids and always felt that it would be nice to become a teacher.
One day in church, while serving in the children’s ministry, someone asked me if I was in school for early childhood education. I wasn’t at the time, but upon her suggestion, I looked into it. I figured I couldn’t get back in school because my gpa was so laughably low. I applied to community college and got in.
Slowly but surely my gpa went up. Unfortunately, I had to take a semester off since I didn’t have money to pay. I thought I was gonna be knocked back forever, but it was good to have time to build more classroom experience in the interim.
I was finally able to go back and graduated 2 semesters later as one of the top of my class with honors and a 3.6 GPA. I was accepted into NYU, and transferred.
At NYU, things went well for the first 2 weeks until issues with emotional regulation kept coming up for me. It turned out that I had BPD and PTSD. Sadly, I had to take another semester off on medical leave after a week in the hospital. This time I REALLY thought I was screwed. I lamented the fact that I had to take another semester off and further delay my degree.
When I returned, I switched majors so I could graduate closer to on time. I ended up taking a bunch of jazz theory and composition classes to round things out. I didn’t know much, so it was a struggle lol, but little did I know it was building a solid foundation for what I was going to do next. Though I graduated a year after I anticipated, I ended graduating with a 3.7 GPA and honors once again.
All of this was preparing me to be a music teacher. Something I merely dreamt about as a teen but figured I’d do on the side. I taught music for 6 years, but BPD and PTSD reared their ugly heads again, and I couldn’t teach anymore. This was a MAJOR set back for me that I’m still coping with. However, in 2 hours, I’ll be teaching a small group of kids piano. It’s not the same level of teaching I was doing before, but it’s start.
We take so many twists and turns in life. Sometimes delayed pop up and throw us unwelcome curveballs. I hated it and sometimes still do, but I hope that my story is a little encouraging in knowing that with every set back, there’s something new in the path that may launch even further than you expected to go.
All by the grace and mercy of God. I can only thank Him for how He’s guided me through these disappointments.
I’m sending you a virtual hug, my friend.
Be well :-)
@@bronxkies That's... a ride. Congratulations on your story, it does give me hope as someone with a non-linear path as well lol.
@@nijigyaru lol my apologies for the long story but I’m glad it was somewhat hopeful
This video is so comforting to me. I had really bad mental health throughout my youth too, and I’m only 21 but I feel like everyone around me has their whole lives figured out and I don’t. But in the last year I made a lot of progress, even if no one can see it. And I’m really proud of myself for that. Sometimes it’s easy to look at what I haven’t accomplished, and hard to acknowledge all the progress I’ve made.
i remember being very upset about being in public school because i thought ‘if youth is so romanticized and valued, why is everyone my age forced to waste it in school?’ (not the same for college though) i feel we are designed to be disappointed with life by age 15.
100% felt this. I remember feeling angry sitting in those desks 8 hours a day.
Yep, it's probably to set you up for the disappointment of living in a capitalist society. I recommend resisting it as much as you can, find joy in something every day.
my mom homeschooled me because she felt that way in public school... but even though being homeschooled gave me extra time, I just did normal teenager things like hate school and play minecraft and secretly wish I was popular and feel like I was wasting my life
she kept suggesting I become a great author or something because I had all this time but it really doesn't work that way...
I'm currently 15 and not disappointed with my life, just indifferent. I have a feeling that I will be disappointed with my future, though. That sounds odd, now that I put it on something other than my thoughts. How can it be disappointing if it is what I expect?
Feeling inadequacy coming into adulthood is genuinely such a terrifying thing. I'm losing a lot of my early years to chronic depression and its so scary to know the years are flying by and I've accomplished absolutely nothing so this was honestly something I needed to hear.
Holy shit the sound design of your videos is golden. Even got the Animal Crossing Population Growing press B on menu sound effect somewhere in there. Also thank you for this, I relate so much and needed this.
As someone who is also 23 and spent most of my previous years alone in my room due to autism this video really reassured me that its never too late to make your dreams come true because in the end, age is just a number, not the determining factor of your youth. More people definitely need to watch this !
Hey there, @thesleepydemon, I'm in my 30s and spend most of my time alone. I've worked various jobs and pursued multiple paths, some with endurance and some with failure or aspects of my goals that fell through, working against bettering my life. The thing about autism, is that you have to gage your small successes within the larger picture and keep moving forward. I know it gets harder, the more the plans fall through, so allow and recognize that you can grieve these plans and failures but then, move on and build yourself any way you can, that helps you reach your goals, money-related or not. Best of luck to you and I hope you do well.
@@soniamo4139 thanks man i also wish u the best :)
I still feel like I haven't mentally progressed past middle school, because that's the last time I felt like I had real friends. Covid fucked up like a year and a half of high-school for me, so I felt like the shell of a person. Now I'm in college, and going to turn 18 in a couple months, and still feel behind in life, both socially, and career-wise. At least I have this video to remind me that life isn't meaningless.
Same here yeah
Covid lasted longer for me because the college was locked down even past most places
I switched colleges mid-pandemic and felt like I lost all my irl and online friends after
me too, i feel like i was stunted after quarantine, and i didn’t believe in the goodness of people anymore. i was a senior about to graduate and then all the schools shut down. i didn’t get the *highschool graduation* that everyone else got. not that it was a big deal in the first place, but i still missed out. i still feel i’m somewhere stuck before quarantine in high school.
Career-wise, bruh, you is 18.
im in a pretty similar boat too. i turn 19 next month and covid as well as my seveal social anxiety + depression has pretty much fucked my social life. same with my education cus now im doing gcse's at 19-20 when theyre supposed to be done when your 16 ish. just because your behind doesnt mean that you're failing or that you're less of a person. covid wasnt easy for anyone. a lot of people i know lost a year to it too. global pandemics kind of do that lol. no matter whats pushed you back, it's valid. life screws us all over at some point. just keep pushing forward :) life isnt a race, its a marithon
@whatisrokosbasilisk80 18 is way to young for a career, I'm currently experimenting what I like doing and seeing if I can have a job out of it
Thank you, I really needed to hear this lately. I've been struggling severely from depression and suicidal thoughts over me failing college, feeling unable to do anything, unable to hold a job. Seeing this made me feel a little bit better about myself. Thank you for that.
I'm 23 too, kinda just floating with no clue what i want to do with my life, but this video is very comforting to me! I don't want a high pressure job or to be a millionaire or whatever, i just want to do things that'll make me happy and maybe help other people. Thank you for making this!
This is extremely relatable as a 24 year old fellow over achiever who missed out on a lot of things due to illness. I am currently feeling extra worthless after watching another fantasy series (which i love) and comparing my life to the characters and lamenting the lack of purpose and success in my journey- i literally can't stop comparing my life to fiction lol let alone real life successful people. I just want to feel good enough. Thank you for making this- it helped 😊
You are AMAZING. This video was so refreshing to watch. The vibe, aesthetic, color palette, coziness… what a breath of fresh air this video was.
I'm turning 30 in a couple of months and honestly, until 2 years ago, it seemed like I was never going to be anything. I was terrified of 30 but now it feels okay because a few things weirdly fell into place, someone took a chance on me for a good job, went through a bad breakup, etc. and it all feels okay now. And you know what's the weirdest thing about it? Every bad decision, aimless wandering, incompatible long-term relationship, and hobby hopping was exactly the stuff that led me to these series of fortunate events. I think it's important to internalize that you ARE on a path but the path that makes you happy at the end isn't going to look like that of any other person. I'm not saying "god has a plan for you" or some shit - what I mean is that everything that you are is contributing to a future that is uniquely yours to enjoy! You're not "growing up", you're just "growing"
Jeremiah 29:11 NIV
[11] For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the Lord, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.
You captured this sense of urgency perfectly. I'm in my late 30s and no matter what I've done, have felt behind since my teenage years.
thank you for this video!! instantly subbed
As someone who’s turning 24 next month and lost her early 20s to major depression, I needed this. Thank you.
Me too, you got this. Walk at your pace 🌸
imagine living with depression for 24 years. gonna turn 50 soon and im still an enslaved loser.
you didn't miss anything. you are still in your early 20's
I feel that, I just turned 28. But everyone walks their own path, and you come to certain healing realizations when YOU are meant to. Just as how the first time you hear a song you may not like it, but a year down the line you can appreciate some aspect that you weren’t before able to, simply through having lived more life. Life is a process between high and lows, like a catapult, one must go into the depths of oneself to be launched to their highest dreams. Take gratitude in the things you do have, take care of the space you inhabit, this includes your body, speak life into yourself through affirmation, water a seed and learn the ways in which we are the same as you watch it begin its growth. I believe in you. I love you, I mean it. Don’t let the pain overtake you ❤
Um anything below 29 is still very early. You got this.
AHH OWIE GR8 VID thanks for havin me!
your tik tok videos scratch the itch of wanting a lobotomy 👍
Real scrump
Thank you for putting this message out
I relate highly. I'm 22 with a child and I'm just now going back to school. It's hard to look around at people I know in real life already have their dream degree and job without feeling incompetent. To go online and see others around my age success make the wound hit deeper and widen my insecurities. Thank you for such an amazing heartwarming message. I needed this, and I hope that you revisit your own video in times that you feel down, like I know I will.
"You don't have an expiry date, let alone an expiry date at 30 years old."
Y'know, I think I really became an adult when I started realizing my grandparents aren't all that different from me, just wrinklier and a whole lot more emotionally stable with age. It leads to people having this OMG- 30 YEARS OLD fatalism.
I'm 21 right now and have really been through alot of self-doubt and anxiety lately. This video was really comforting and something I really needed to hear from someone approximately my age. The comments as well, reading what people older than me have to say. Thank you for making this video.
As someone who's 32 and only recently got their life together at the END of their 20s (29 to be specific and during COVID...) I will give you 3 things I noticed about aging so far:
1. As you said, it's not "over" when you get older. There are more external pressures to fit a dumb "real adult" shaped box but it's the same as other boxes you're pressured into. Just ignore it lol
2. You are currently the youngest you will be for literally the rest of your life. Do stuff that'll make the future you look back at these days fondly.
3. Change is never age-gated. If it helps you get over this uhhhh I guess "age dysphoria", look for people older than you who started doing things you want to do right now but later. I'm currently transitioning and was worried that since I won't be some early 20s cute online trans girl that it wouldn't be worth it or I'll mess my life up....and worried about that all throughout my late 20s which just delayed me further. I found a bunch of older transwomen who started in their 40s and 50s that made me go "Huh! They look great too! I can do this now?" and now things are way better since I just did it. I mean I know a guy who was almost 50, had been in jail several times, had kids and several other "it's over" types of things and just decided to become a software engineer when he was 46 and now he's super freaking successful. Age literally means nothing aside from your bones hurting a little more than they used to and some health stuff.
Yo as someone who wanted to transition 8 years ago and finally got started this year I fucking feel this
slay
me a trans guy who started hrt at 29: oh thank fuck. you dont know how much i needed to read that
Although I'm not trans, I think the message of this comment definitely struck me.
Taking the plunge into a path in life that seems so tenuous, you have my respect.
And in any case, I'm sure you're alreadya very buetiful lady!
thanks for this vid
(im actually quite struggling with this, hearing it from a normal person and not someone with a degree in psychiatry helps, for some reason)
yea exactly, it’s hard to explain but it doesn’t feel condescending. istg (my experience with pyschs at least) pyschs are so condescending for reasons that feel like a bit too much to vent abt in a youtube comment reply but i get what you mean
reading all these comments and seeing other people's perspectives and experiences is somewhat comforting. i am 19 and have felt for a while that i have failed in life and missed my chance to live up to my 'potential'. It's nice to see other people who also experienced mental illness since they were pretty young, it always felt like i was the only one who was fucked up. turns out I'm autistic which definitely contributes to that lol. thanks for this video!
My partner sent this to me and it was an amazing watch. I love the artstyle and the timing of jokes, plus the message is very good and we should all hear it more often as young adults. Earned a sub! ✨
This is exactly what I needed tonight. Thank you. It's nothing I haven't heard before, but the way you worded the part about there being no shame in prioritizing coziness really hit me. It's pointless to try to compare my progress against people who don't share my life goals and big "milestones" that weren't even intended for me. My success right now is keeping myself safe and alive, and so far I'm doing a pretty good job.
I turned 29 a week ago and I’ve been contemplating unaliving myself a lot because I’m not where I want to be and won’t ever be because I lost my whole 20s to a toxic relationship for 10 years and loss of friendships and severe mental illness, but this video cheered me up a bit. Honestly it’s hard to balance the feelings of oh my god it’s too late what’s the use, and that I still have a chance to get my life and self the way I want and every second counts, but the every second counts also makes me spiral into complete despair and stress. In my early 20s I felt like I had time to waste, and no longer now which is so exhausting. Reading everyone’s comments makes things feel a bit bettter, but also sad because we still can’t escape how patriarchy devalues women after 25-30 and all other societal pressures. Sorry for the bummer comment, appreciate y’all. I’m still on the fence about unaliving.
Hey friend, I understand the suffocating pressure of simultaneously feeling like you have so much to do and every day going by without you doing whatever it is you're supposed to do to achieve it, but that shouldn't worry you. A journey of a thousand miles begins with a single step, don't fret and run your race at your own pace.
Also, don't listen to anyone who even mentions that women "expire". That's utter nonsense, know that you are beautiful and the world is lucky to have you in it. 😃
@@emmanuelakena5365that is all lies
@@emmanuelakena5365 thank you for your lovely words. 😭❤️
I'm a 29 year old man in nearly your same position. It's hard but you'll find somebody, I promise.
@@extrasalt9053 not me at all. I've given up on everything and everyone
This was such a comfort to watch. Feeling stuck and directionless at 26 is rough.
I’m 26 as well and feeling the same way, but I believe our futures will be bright! Hang in there, good things are coming! 🤍
Same 😞
I'm a 23 year old and honestly I relate to so much on this video. I've always felt really underwhelming- I remember being 16 watching 12 year olds post the most gorgeous masterpieces. Years later i've just now started to taste success in my art(that people think it's nice kinda way). And this video made me feel so much better and understood. It's nice knowing I don't have to be the best right now- that I have plenty of time to build that. Ty ty
Almost 30 and I feel this real hard. Thank you for this so comforting 🦋
Thank you, I needed this. 24, unable to drive, not happy with my life, had creative desires years ago but gave up on them thinking the world was going to collapse before I could get them out to the public/i was too old to be successful. Felt the grief of "wasting the best years of my life" since I couldnt explore the world like most my age seem capable of. Slow and steady wins the race here I suppose, maybe I'm better off than I thought. And maybe I should start putting in the effort for my creativity. Its not too late and I needed that reminder.
I'm so glad TH-cam reccomended me this video. I really needed it. Thank you!
I'm turning 30 in a few months and lately I've felt I've thrown my 20's away pursuing a software engineering, a field which I never really liked but was told by my family is "the way to go!," setting myself the incredibly hard goal of working at Google, only to spiral downhill into dread and everything, comparing myself to everyone and failing after a decade of this.
Now studying Music instead, and starting fresh, I feel imposter syndrome since I'm in school with such people who are younger than me, with years more experience with them spending their lives growing up with music. And I'm like "oh well... I like listening to music and I played some guitar in school".
I've always been scared of aging, and felt wasted my 20's. But, I needed this video. Thank you. I'll keep going, and pushing hard for my dream as a musician!
This TH-cam recommendation turned out to be uncharacteristically refreshing, the subject is one that strikes a chord with anyone who's just about no longer overdosing on excitement of 'youth', a contingent of the overwhelmingly consumerist culture we live in. The video is done quite tastefully, has the right balance of wit, sarcasm and a lot of heart too!
Your channel, which is a must-subscribe, has some seriously good content, and it's rather unfortunate how underappreciated it is, probably expectedly given our shortening attention span and the inunendation of internet with ever lowering quality of material.
Thanks and looking forward to your next videos!
Man, it's a good thing Owie is British and therefore not real!
Now I don't have to feel bad for her!
Thanks for reliving me, phew.
what the hell
@@meqativit's the truth
Among Americans there is an ongoing internet joke that England either isn't real or is a terrible place to live.
I'm sorry that you weren't informed @@meqativ
@@elijahbruce5936 As an American, I've never heard that joke before, so what the hell is pretty much exactly what I'm feeling too
I'm 33 and I started painting again this year, and after that I started doing other things I'd given up. They were all things I started doing because they were fun and interested me, and I only gave them up when all the expectations I had for them, or how I thought i needed to approach it 'the real way' weighed down my ability to do them. Incomplete things have so much unseen value.
I'm 25 years old, I live with my parents, dropped out of college and I'm currently trying to figure out what to actually do with my life, since everyone in my family wants me to be in a career already.
Seeing people 2-3 years younger than me earn millions by... doing whatever it is they do honestly, makes me feel guilty and worthless for not being "good enough" so this video is very appreciated.
Im 28 and have been worrying about the same stuff a lot recently. The algorithm did a great job putting this in my reccomended. Definitely needed it
I'm 36 and I both got disability and am working on becoming an audiobook reader. It is an incredibly strange experience to feel like society is like well you're not cut out for us and being told how many skills I have creatively/ how sharp I am with everything I do. I'm just not cut out for the 9-5, and I don't think that's a failure of mine even though I feel like I'm expected to feel that. I also need to remember how much life I have ahead of me!
It really does seem like television and then the Internet dumped all sorts of weird norms and expectations on us when we were younger... but neglected to supply the proper instructions for achieving those things, and just sorta assumed everyone would be able to do it automatically. Then only once you're thrown out into the world for real do they bother to mention in passing: "Sorry, but this isn't for you. These aspirations are only applicable for the fully physically, mentally and socially able." ... then go back to pretending we don't exist.
hello! i hope you’ve been successful/fulfilled in the months since you’ve posted this :)
i wanted to ask you, how is audiobook reading? i’m going into college next year and i’m considering doing that as a side job- i’m 90% sure i’m autistic so i doubt a social job would fit me. what do you think of audiobook reading? what’s the schedule like? how much control do you have over the books you read and the hours you work? i’d love to hear your insight!
heyyyy i’m 18 and i also was stuck inside my house for most of my teenage years! still am! this made me feel better though, you have a nice voice
Thanks so much for this!! I'm in my early 20s and I've been 'doing stuff with my life'. What they don't tell you is there's only so much stuff you can do!! I'm sacrificing so many things for my career rn, going hard on study and volunteering and CV building. I'm doing good in that form of success... but truthfully.. I never really wanted to be on this grind. I'm doing it because it's a smart thing that will set me up for a good life later, it's stupid to turn down opportunities at your door, but I don't wanna be doing it!!
I've missed out on so many things socially! I have basically no friends and no memories to speak of for the last 5 years of even a SINGLE adventure. It makes me feel like a total failure as a human, like I only exist to output. Just a cog in the machine with no worth to the community outside of profit.
It's really nice to remember that this is temporary, and that even if this phase of my life is CV grinding, the next phase might be super-awesome-adventure having with all the money I'll be getting thanks to my CV grinding (I hope. pls don't turn out to be a cope lol). It's just.. impossibel to be it all. In this society you just can't be CV grinding and adventure having and creative projecting and relationship investing without hard drugs, tbh. You gotta pick one and then try switch between them sometimes. Thanks so much for your wholesome video!
I love these stories of people who essentially found themselves at a later age. Also the message of not necessarily being amazing at something is so wholesome in a way. I have a parent who is always comparing me to young CEOs/business owners etc and it’s really annoying.
We need a 30 after 30 list
Grace Hopper is another one! She was already a math professor, but joined the Navy at 37 and started working on computers at 38.
i really needed this, thank you
I'm 23 as well and was feeling this same way lately. This video popped up in my timeline and decided to watch it for the cute drawings and now I feel a sort of weight lifted off my shoulders. Thank you so much, truly 💛
I also lost a lot of years to mental illness. Im 28 now and so scared of being 30. Im disabled and cant work so it feels like I have no life accomplishments and im getting too old to be the person I'd hoped to be when I was younger.
This was very relateable and comforting
Dude i freaking love you, as a 17 year old i've been learning through all this stuff as my life goes on and it's nice to hear someone repeat it pretty much verbatim as it goes through my head. so hell yeah, fun is for all ages, do yo stuff and have fun :D
This kind of message is always such a nice reminder to get. I'm 29 years old but I feel so far behind all my peers because I didn't realize I had ADHD that was severely holding me back until I was 27, didn't start noticing I might also be Autistic until this past year, & last year I also developed Fibromyalgia because the sheer amount of stress & small traumas I've experienced throughout my whole life finally made my nervous system explode. I'm trying to be kind & understanding towards myself, I've had to grieve a lot this past year, but I still get incredibly anxious because of all the things I believe I have to do (y'know, cuz I do want to do something with my life, I'm an artist, I can't put that down, even tho right now, my disability forced me to put it on hold). The world is on fire & I want to provide comfort to others but I've had to put myself first to a higher degree than I've ever done before (& I am a bit of a people pleaser, so it hasn't felt good all the time). I've had to rethink everything in life, reconsider what I truly want to pursue & what's worth it, & figure out how to navigate life while disabled... it's been a very lengthy process, but I must always remember this... I still have so much time. I'm not a failure, even if I still have intrusive thoughts that I suck & life isn't worth it. I'm just going to go at my own pace, because it's just as good as the pace of others who are my age or younger, even if they appear to be successful already.
Im in a similar boat as you. My Mom told me to look into Autism when I was 22 or so and so I did and I still haven't been professionally diagnosed yet, despite my attempts to find a clinic that tests adults AND accepts my insurance. I'm 27 now. I learned at 25 or 26 that I also have ADHD. Yesterday it hit me, after a therapy session, that I have battled depression longer than I realized, because you can feel happy and still be depressed. You can still experience joy, and still suffer from depression. I always wondered how people can wake up and just be ready to tackle the world AS SOON as they get out of bed. The reason? They aren't struggling with Depression, ADHD AND Autism. The most debilitating thing is when your executive dysfunction isn't working and other people's around you are and you just wanna cry because what gives them the right to be able to just DO things without feeling like the are using ALL of their energy PLUS access energy? It's difficult. Also when dealing with recovering from two different SA situations growing up as well, also makes for a difficult experience. I hope you are flourishing right now. 15 year old me wanted an apartment of my own and job at 18. Then I turned 18 and reality slapped me in the face for several years. Now I'm 27 and have my own apartment and I feel so proud of myself
relatable
ya same...
Are you me?? Same ages and everything. I hope you have a good support system or are building one. I can’t tell my family about my disabilities because they’re so anti-mental-health. I feel like I’m starting my life from scratch. But it’s a comfort to know I’m not alone in these struggles at least. Sending you love and luck! ❤
@@alexskywalker5478 Congrats on your apartment!! You do you, at your pace, at your comfort, and at your ability. I think it's a lot to manage depression ADHD and autism at once, and with this morning I really related to your experience not being able to do anything because I felt the same way (only left my room around 5 pm... whoops). That doesn't make us any less successful, where the true success is in what we have finally accomplished for us :D
This video came at such a great time. I’m 23 right now and I just feel like SUCH A FAILURE. This video really helped make me feel better. Thank you ❤
Oh my god I'm 23, I have those thoughts most of the time, they make me spiral and get into depressive episodes even. loved this so much please don't stop creating💛
I'm an artist who just turned 37 and I feel like I've missed my chance to do anything with my life. I grew up online with other artists when DeviantArt started, and as I got older and started dealing with mental illness, physical illness and other life situations, the generations after me were zooming by, starting their careers much earlier, running small businesses at 17 and making professional level art in their 20s. I try not to be bitter (I'm happy for them, but I sometimes wish I was born later so I could do things differently) because I do want to be a full time artist, but I don't want brand deals or popularity. I just want to make things I enjoy, hopefully for a living. But I feel like I've missed my chance or that I'll never get one, and as I approach 40 I feel like it's too late, and I've wasted all of my time, and that my work isn't valuable because it isn't profitable. Your video was what I needed to see in this moment, I think. I don't feel so alone. I always felt like I was being selfish, looking at the younger generations and thinking "damn, I wish that were me" or wishing I'd had the same resources (not social media necessarily, but more accessible knowledge and tools). ANYWAY, thank you for making this, sorry this turned into a vent. I wish you the very best ♥I just stumbled across your video, but I'll check out the rest of your channel ^_^ Have a great day!
Hey, I'm 17 and the part where you wished you were born later resonated with me, but in the opposite way. I sometimes think about how much have I ''missed out'' by not experiencing internet and videogame scene earlier. And nowadays with the amount of all the kind of content on the internet I feel bad for missing out this video, this channel, this game etc. But I'm realising I don't got to see and perfect everything. Modern times really push you for ''goals'' and ''success''. It's like living imaginatory future instead of perceptible present.
I certainly understand your envy of what younger people can succeed nowadays, however, at the same time this huge competition makes it less valuable now. Like that saying: ''If everyone is special, then no one is.'' So ultimately, just live present, your worries are just beating around the bush. Your life is a tiny story on this planet, so keep it tiny, just to yourself and who/what matters. There isn't a wrong or right path, just your own. Go ahead with drawing or wahtever else that makes you simply feel present.
As I like to think to myself- everyday is the same fine day, not any happier or more sad. So have a fine day, stranger
Hope you get your chance. This video does kind of skip over the fact that many, many people of talent just don't ever get the lucky breaks.
Wow, Owie, that really put things into perspective, I thought that getting a job later than other people meant i Was "lazy" or "lesser" because I mysteriously thought everyone got a job at 18 bang on, But seeing you put your life into perspective (which is already a tiny bit ahead of me) Really eased my mindset of "I NEED TO DO SOMETHING OR IT'S WRONG, I'M WASTING TIME" But, sometimes i forget, how much time we truly have.
Thank you,
This has ended probably the worst mindset I've had.
And now I can worry less.
And all of this from a funny British animated cat nonetheless, for all the faults the internet has, it really has its beautiful moments.
I'm so glad this video got recommended to me right now. I'm 23 and yesterday was doing all sorts of panicking. I know it's cliché but knowing you're not alone is so comforting. I also still need to get my licence.. Sending lots of love to all, try and put ur happiness first if you can. We got this!!
thank you so much honestly
this helped to clean my thoughts about seeing other people/artists starting doing stuff earlier than me and me having existential dread after that
not you nor really anyone should compare yourself with others in a deragatory way
you just need to know that everything's going to be okay eventually and you still have time!
I'm turning 27 in a few days and I've been in a depression about this the whole week. I needed to see this video, thank you for making it 🙂
Societal norms and pressure are no joke - I'm 28 and just feel.... behind? But for the most part, I'm happy, and that's what really matters. Still, it's difficult to not feel those pressures at times. I needed this video, thank you.
I just turned 31 at the start of this month, and I was struggling with similar thoughts and feelings. This video and the affirmations at the end are exactly what I needed to hear, thank you so much!
same, turned 31 in september
we're gonna be ok
Thank you! It's so nice to hear something like this. I'm in my late 30's and I do often fear I'm "running out of time" to do things with my life (and that I'm not where I "should" be), but it's really good to have a shift in perspective like this so I don't convince myself to stop trying. I also love your animations!💖
This video is really nice to watch! Society makes us feel like we have to be doing *something* productive and profitable as soon as possible, but that isn’t the case for most people, a lot of us only figure out exactly what we want to do or be at 25-30 or even older and that’s ok. And if what you want to do is have a humble career and live a humble, but comfortable life, that’s fine too! that seems like the goal I’m going for lol
Well. This was surprisingly wholesome and soothing to my battered heart. I’ve been listlessly trying to find my footing and felt utterly helpless, and it does feel like everyone else seems to have it figured out already. These sorts of things feel like they oughta be obvious but I’m definitely glad you decided to make it known and that I decided to check it out
-Graduated university at 24
-Moved out of my parents house at 26
-Got my first big girl job that I love at 26
-Still renting now at 29
-Not married, but in a loving 4yr relationship
-And, no kids 😊 (but I'm def not in a rush lol)
At all the people just barely entering their 20s, trust me when I say it gets better. You have the power to choose how you want to live , whether that's focusing on a life of comfort and coziness or doing something you never done before!! Both are okay! I know it's everywhere but it really is true, just ENJOY THE PROCESS. Enjoy your journey , no matter what it is. The older you get, time does feel faster, so relax and enjoy today.
I turn 30 in October and one thing that has helped immensely for my mental health is cutting time from being online so much. The algorithms will only feed you what you keep looking at, whether it's good for you or not. Better to curate your content to find other people living the way you aspire to live, or to be more offline and focus on yourself! I'm extremely happier now at 29 than I was at 19 and I'm only getting better , and you will too ❤
I'm 23 as well and I just feel like I wasted so much time not having any sense of direction that now that I DO know what I want to do with my life, I just feel like too much time has already passed and I'm lagging behind :( But this video was so so helpful!!! Thank you for posting
this month I turned 21, and I think I really needed this, because I've been feeling stuck and burnt out for a very long time. but I was always pressured and even threatened to keep going and going and going. but there's only so much I can put out at a time. I started to feel like a failure because I was watching everyone move on without me and I felt like I was losing time, and opportunities. I practically have had multiple mental breakdowns and panic attacks and existential crises every day, and I often struggled with SI among other things, because I thought, "well, what's the point in even staying here when I contribute so little, if anything at all? why am I still here when all I do is try so hard, only to fail? I'm not smart enough to do this, not pretty or skinny enough to do that, I'm too young/old for this."
I wasn't able to enjoy being a teen, and being a child wasn't the best either, so I've constantly felt like I've lost time. I was also controlled a lot more than what was considered normal as a teen, and well into "adulthood" too (when I tried to become more independent, it felt like my mother tried to prevent that), so it feels like my mental age never progressed past 17 or so sometimes. it feels like I subconsciously try to make up for the years I lost. (Even at 18 I was constantly treated like a child until I messed up, then I was held responsible and scolded like an adult, which I feel plays into that sometimes too. sometimes i didn't understand how or why i messed up, because i really wasn't taught basic skills or how to care for myself, or how to do particular things. I only know to do what I'm told after an explanation if necessary. it made me feel stupid. sometimes I was told to not even cry about some things, because I'm too old to and I need to act like an adult.) i was kinda rushed into growing up, sometimes even praised for being mature while still young. but it didn't feel good. now, I miss being younger, when it was okay to be immature and silly and i could do things like have water fights without being shamed.
I sometimes act like a teen and still sort of dress like one (alt/goth clothes are kind of like my style) so much to the point that my coworkers thought I WAS still a teenager, even though I'm not yet that far from it, technically speaking. it still made me feel a bit ashamed because not only did I see myself as a failure, but I practically feel like I am a toddler with a drinking permit. I felt too silly and immature, and I felt like that's why people didn't like me or listen to me well. I felt like I was just all sorts of messed up and that I couldn't fix anything wrong about me, especially when it came to my personality or producing timely results that everyone expected of me. not to mention, i was constantly being compared to people since childhood, which only made me come closer to the devastating conclusion that I was a failure in everyone else's eyes. this video helped me realize that I CAN SLOW DOWN. the world won't end, I won't wake up the next day at 90 years old and regret taking a break because of it, I won't get anywhere faster no matter how often i'm compared to people. I dont need to rush to achieve my goal, because there is no certainty that IT IS MY END GOAL FOREVER. things change. I need to take my time and enjoy life, especially my youth, while i still have it.
So, I really want to thank you, this helped me kind of get out of my own head and helped me look at my age with more optimism. it helped me reevaluate myself. Thank you so much :)
also, sorry for rambling ^^;
oh my god...u described my situation so perfectly...sometimes I forget that there are people out there who know what the situations I have experienced feel like..and then I hate myself more, because I wonder why am like this, yk? Thank you for writing ur comment it made me feel comforted and I feel a bit more reassured...We got this bro! Hopefully, we will find our paths soon and succeed. :)
Your videos are so honest and positive, it’s therapeutic. Thank you.
Loved this. As a woman in my forties who is a late bloomer, I found this incredibly necessary. :)
I'm turning 17 next month, really needed this lol.
Honestly though, thanks for the perspective. I've gotten quite worried about the greater future in relation to myself, but I just need to find a way to be comfy enough with who and where I am.
Hugs from Ohio.
As a 23 yo who spent my teenage years mentally ill too i can confirm that youth is just a concept. It's never too late to start.
I had social anxiety in elementary school untill i graduated from junior high school. In high school i got depressed untill my college years, this made me 2 years late to graduate. Last year my psychiatrist told me i have bipolar disoder, not just depression. It was only few months ago i made peace with myself, people who hurt me, and the world. It's a long journey, but instead of thinking i had lost so much time, i rather think i've also grown from it. My mental state is stronger now, i also gain critical thinking and good empathy skill from it. I could say my way of thinking is better than most of my friends who never experience years of mental illness (i hope they never have to experience it tho). It could be a blessing in disguise depends on how u think about it.
Im still in my last year in college now working on my thesis, still consuming medicines from my therapist. Instead of comparing myself to more successfull people than me, i'm trying to comparing my present self with my past self. She has grown so much its like i was a completely different person.
So just try things that you like. Don't think about how big the gap of your journey with other people's. Think about the exitement and fun you get when doing it!
im 26. i struggle with this a lot. my family always compared to my more successful cousins, how i was destined to work as a garbage person if i didnt catch up, and it kinda left me with this mindset that if im not on par with my peers or better than younger people id be a failure of a human, and people have told me that everyone goes at their own pace but even then i told myself "why did i have to have a shitty pace then"
at least im not the only one feeling like this, and this video helped me with these feelings. thanks uwu
I feel you, fellow shitty pace haver. It feels more comforting to have someone else who's having the same struggle than having someone who's got their life figured out giving life advice.
whoa. literally could have written this. with the cousins and all. i feel like such a failure
38. I had a hyper strict and controlling biological family that kept me on a short leash well into adulthood. Like, I wasn’t allowed to have hobbies that cost money or required allowing me to be with my peers, and my elders decided that I was the Designated Housebound Caregiver S*xless Spinster of the family. I often feel like I am so far behind because of this. Thank you.