"ERNIE STANLEY" words by Michael Clem © 2020, music by Nicholas Drain Lowe © 1974

Performed at The Local 13Nov23, Charlottesville VA
video by Jehu Martin (JEHU-TV)
featuring Justin Storer on percussion
Lyrics
Ernie Stanley was a sum’bitch bully - The bully of the neighborhood
a kid who was lazy and sadistic - He never did an ounce of good
He’d torment & torture & he’d heckle & tease
He’d run you down & put your head in a squeeze
I’d like to dance on his face & I would if I could
I don’t wanna be a hero but I wish I were a bit more manly
cuz what’s so funny bout me slugging Ernie Stanley?
Ooooh, what’s so funny bout me slugging Ernie Stanley?
Ernie’d hold you down & hang a loogie - Most the times he’d just let it drop
He picked on the children who were slower
& no one was around to make him stop
He’d hurl insults & he’d lie & he’d cheat
He’d kiss the butts of grow ups & they’d think he was sweet
His counselor said - she thinks he’d make a pretty good cop
I don’t wanna be a hero but I wish I were a bit more manly
cuz what’s so funny bout me slugging Ernie Stanley?
Ooooh, what’s so funny bout me slugging Ernie Stanley?
We have a bit of Ernie in each of us - The stuff that haunts us from our past
Perhaps we played superior to someone - Someone who was fun to harass
You grow up when you find it’s not fun if it’s you
Try to pay it forward, here’s what you can do
If YOOU see a modern day Ernie - just kick his ass
I don’t wanna be a hero but I wish I were a bit more manly
cuz what’s so funny bout me slugging Ernie Stanley?
Ooooh, what’s so funny bout me slugging Ernie Stanley?
So this my song - I guess I am busted
Cuz I stole the melody, sweet melody
I don’t wanna be a hero but I wish I were a bit more manly
cuz what’s so funny bout me slugging Ernie Stanley?
Ooooh, what’s so funny bout me slugging Ernie Stanley?