i can't be the only one with a consumption problem
ฝัง
- เผยแพร่เมื่อ 15 ก.ย. 2024
- support me on Patreon: / itsradishtime
join the discord: / discord
between the endless scrolling and the skincare product stockpiling my consumption habits need to change. let's spend some time thinking about why we consume (hint: it's not that we are just weak and bad! i hope!) and how we can make some more space to create.
---
Taylor Behnke is a writer and video maker. She writes content for her own video channel and others, including educational series like How to Vote In Every State and The People Vs, which won a Webby Award for Public Service & Activism Video in 2022. She was also named a 2022 Vox Media Writers Workshop fellow, where she produced music journalism for Vulture and Vox.
I feel this 100% - and it's not just "my old hobbies that I used to love are too much effort to bring the satisfaction of seeing something new at the opening of a webpage" though that is true, but it's also "the new, exciting thing I'm making takes time and energy and space and I'm too exhausted at the end of the day to *be* excited about something I KNOW will bring me joy if I can just get into it."
yes feeling always too exhausted and then leaning on things that feel easy but some how exhaust me more
I bought myself watercolors for Christmas, because I watched one of those videos I didn't choose that just went past me and I thought "What is stopping me from making art? I can just make bad art. More bad art, less instagram." And so that's what I'm trying. A watercolor per week, 3 minutes at a time. I still did the consumption at the beginning of kf the process, which I didn't love, but it allowed me to create in a way I hadn't before, and I'm pretty pleased with how it's going so far.
I'm missing this. Like, I miss being a kid and doing fingerpainting. Make a mess. The process can still be explorative, and joyful!
i love more bad art less instagram as a motto
It’s not just you. And it’s not just the season, the post-holiday grey rainy/snowy/dark/cold-and-crappy with no end in sight part of January that drags so many of us down. It is so easy, comforting, even, to just get cozy and spend a week playing Baldur’s Gate 3 instead of cleaning my house, or making dinner with my family, or even working on things I’m actually interested in. It feels like our media is full of signals that the problems it’s constantly telling us about are beyond our ability to fix (or in some cases even understand. You know the one I mean) and that the best thing to do is just get numb and buy things. I’m not sure I’m strong enough alone to pull out of it, so I’m definitely hoping to hear some ideas from other folks on how to turn things around. Thank you for speaking up about your struggle, because it gives us a place to start from. See? We’re making progress already!
this is a good point. One of my best tools to take a break and reset after too much screentime is to take a walk, but that's not appealing when it's cold and gray and sleeting. My guardrails just aren't guardrailing in January!
This is so real. I’ve realized that last January and this one I’ve restarted a favorite show from the beginning for a long binge watch and I think so much of that is the weather/darkness.
Lately I’ve been thinking a lot about journaling as a really important form of self care for me because it involves creating something that is truly only for me and my feelings. I’ve been struggling to put into words why it can feel so hard, and I think you’re right that it’s so much easier to consume someone or some corporation’s messaging, instead of create what I want to say, even about something as simple as my day
I think about this all the time. One way that it really REALLY hits is when I find that I have like 80 tabs worth of fabric to buy, because it's a place where I am explicitly trying to beat back the consumerist drive and am clearly failing.
Like I did this whole thing where I was like "ok you're DONE BUYING CLOTHING" and that's cool and well and good (and not entirely true because I have a few personal carveouts for t-shirts and stuff which I also do not need but find satisfying for Not Great Reasons) but I find I have filled the void with a truly INSANE fabric collection. And listen, I don't actually want to be in a place where I just buy fabric for a project and then am done because I get some creative fulfillment from sitting down and parsing what's there and blah blah blah. (FABRIC STASH DISCOURSE is, unsurprisingly, a big thing in online sewing communities.) But also: it's so clear that I didn't actually solve the problem when I am buying fabric at a faster rate than I am producing clothing with that fabric.
I'm gearing up to move again in the next month or two and thinking about how much fabric I moved into this house and how much more (different, but more) I will be moving out (ok not ALL different!!!! which is also bad!!!) I get very frustrated with myself.
Exactly. I vow to stop watching youtube-- I start playing mindless computer games, or browsing goodreads, or reddit, or tumblr, and on and on and on. It's a discouraging cycle. I guess the answer is to reconnect with our own creative power? Easier said than done
oh this feels very much like this “is your hobby reading? or is it buying books” discourse in that acquiring the supplies feels like a low bar to clear when the making of the thing feels like too high a bar. or the “are you a makeup artist or a professional shopper” thing among makeup youtubers. like, the actual doing of the thing feels too far away sometimes and we think maybe we can build our selves a pile of stuff to climb up to it on? idk
this made me anxious and uncomfortable because I had to think about all the ideas that I refuse to get to because doomscrolling, downloading resources that I might never use and watching "smart" videos on TH-cam feels more "productive" and less daunting than staring at a blank page. thank you for sharing this!
Truly. I try to learn as much as possible by watching, or reading. When really I'm just trying to avoid the *doing*.
mmhm, i need to get comfortable with the idea that space and blank pages and doing nothing but thinking about a problem can also be productive, and that also not everything needs to be productive, either!
I have adhd and I spend every minute alone watching TH-cam, netflix, listening to podcasts. It's part helpful (I can more easily make myself do the dishes while listening to Dear Hank and John) and harmful (I am barely able to finish reading a book anymore without a 2 year hiatus between chapters). When I was a kid, I watched tv for hours, read books for hours, read fanfiction for hours. I have friends and hobbies, so it's not hopeless, but still, I wish I could put down my phone once in a while. 🤷♀️ hope that helps?
I feel this. I am really trying hard to be able to just like do chores without listening to something? It's so much easier to tidy up with a podcast on, but I also want to develop the ability to sit with my thoughts, or to read for long stretches again!
I feel this too! (The title hit me funnily because I was reminded that "consumption" used to mean tuberculosis)
when I forget that my audience is mostly nerdfighters,,,
same i want to create but my body just wants a quick escape from the Horrors!! i feel like im locked in a fist fight with my adhd 24/7 and its stolen way too much time from me. i need it to change
FELT.
Thisssss. As an immunocompromised creative person with ADHD whose also a socially anxious sometimes extrovert, the pandemic has never ended for me. I feel like I've been leaning hard into numbing with TH-cam, movie, tv show consumption, fiction, and fantasy to try to stand in for the lack of social and human interactions and connections in my life.
I simultaneously feel a constant craving to create. I jump around between a bunch of different lower-barriers projects, chasing dopamine, accomplishment, personal fulfillment and validation while also feeling the singes of being burnt out any time I think to venture into something too big, too complex, too overwhelming for my current comfort-seeking self.
we need to be friends. you just put into words how ive felt for years now and i finally feel heard.
yessss. i’m also still covid cautious too and feel like there’s probably a lot of underlying grief i’m also numbing out. i think i was more social a year ago when people were still willing to hang outside or wear masks but the more everyone else moves on the more we’re left behind.
definitely! A tumblr thing that really hit the nail on the head for me went something like: "I wish I could consume content without it consuming me back"
OUCh
I usually think of consumerism as the act of purchasing items, but you bring up a point that I had not even considered. We consume entertainment. All of these "free" games and videos just keep us distracted and vaguely dissatisfied. It does feel like an act of rebellion to resist the urge to consume especially when so much money is being spent on marketing.
You basically described how I feel. I keep adding new hobbies and dreaming about big projects, but when it comes to realizing these ideas, I always come up with some excuse. I'm never "ready". Making lists and actively planning most days helped me a bit, but it's still a huge issue.
Thank you for this video! I work from home and my consumption problem is also seemingly unmanageable. I invite my elderly neighbour over for tea every two weeks, where my mom and I try to actually talk to a human being long-form for our one time that fortnight. I have sewing projects that take up the monotony. But none of this is a replacement for society, for creativity, for care, for life.
even having tea with your neighbor sounds like such a fulfilling, community-affirming activity. so you know you have that skill and can build on it! It inspires me to get to know my neighbors better myself.
@@ItsRadishTime it's really fascinating, as this neighbour keeps up consistently with everyone in at least the first three houses on either side (it's community affirming, not creepy) so she will like, ask us where we are going, or tell us she enjoyed seeing us out on a walk, or talk about seeing the progress we have made in [x] endeavours. We will always talk about which of the neighbours is ill and why, and what should be done. She is teaching us how to build that community without technology, just by it being something she has done as a part of her life.
God. Damn. It.
I was writing a blog post on introducing people to the basics of my research ideas in a way that is unconventional. I was going to do it in a fun way with comics and stuff. I KNOW it is going to be fun and I KNOW it is going to be a good experience for the readers. But what am I doing right now with that tab open? Eating and watching this video. You are a wonderful creator and thanks for this wakeup call. We hafta gotta oughtta figure this out together.
Really been feeling this on every level- both physical and digital wise. One of my resolutions was to radically reduce my screen time and replace it with creative pursuits- but it’s been harder than I expected to sustain my attention on hard things, especially when I’m tired after work. Excited to hear more about how you’re tackling it.
i will let you know when i figure it out! but in the meantime i love your profile pic
"I like to click the buttons and see the numbers go up" got me. It's so much easier to get the instant satisfaction from knowing you made the right decision. So much of creation is a risk, often an "investment risk" where you won't find out the payoff or the "success" until much later. It's so much easier to see the right decision be validated as correct immediately, and so much less scary when there are a limited number of outcomes.
Yupppppp. @3:00 is me 100%. I've literally made it one of my goals to do less, consume less to create space in my brain again. I've been so overwhelmed and anxious that I was reaching for all of the comfort things - tv shows, watching other people play games on twitch, etc - and not doing the work that needs to get done. Some of it was necessary but I am definitely needing to do things that just force my hand. I've put stayfocus'd apps and browser extensions on everything to keep it to a minimum and it is slowly getting better but also it feels like I am trying to turn a piece of coal into a diamond and it is just never going to happen. But still, just moving forward one step at a time, no matter how small that step is
I’ve found myself feeling sometimes like consumption is this cheap fuel that I can’t compete with the fuel of hard, fulfilling things. And like I need to go on a diet of my time and attention because TikTok is giving me mental cavities. But then I also wonder why we have so little energy in the first place that the activation energy of real life is out of reach. What things in our world are sucking all the surpluses out of us; I can think of plenty. I don’t feel like I’m choosing between my phone and real relationships. I’m exhausted so I’m choosing between my phone and the anxieties of my thoughts and an empty room. I hope you find the energy you need to have more of the life you want and find kindness in the gaps.
IT'S RADISH TIME BABYY 🏎️💨 Totally feel you, 100% ready for this series
And I wanted to thank you! It must not have been easy to make this video and decide to go for this topic 👏🏽
I think it's clear from the sheer volume of comments you're not the only one! I've found this paralysis sort of separating into layers, at least for me. I really really want to write novels and I've had this one idea in my head forever, but it's HARD. So I cut out social media and tried to focus all my energy on not wasting a moment of my time.
I am now spending noticeably more of that time with family and friends, reading more books, going on walks, etc, but all of these things still provide the instant gratification that the tough creative work doesn't, even though I love it -- so I managed to make all my vices very healthy, I guess, but I'm still not really writing the book.
Where's the lifestyle that makes room for the big side thing that takes potentially years to bear fruit, that I have to just actually believe in? I guess I'll keep looking?
This is exactly where I’m at! I have a bookbinding project I haven’t touched in a month, a writing project I’m ignoring, and d&d prep I urgently need to do, but my phone and tv shows I’ve already watched and online shopping are just too powerful of a salve when I’m worn out and struggling with how to sustain focus. But I have hope!!
You have just described my entire life and it so helpful to here the problem contextualized not as my greatest personal failing but as a larger problem that has been intentionally constructed. Which is of course wildly obvious once you've named it but so easy not to see.
Edit: spelling & phrasing bc infinitely rewriting youtube comments is a great use of time, right?
big mood. doing hard things is, well, hard xD I wanted to learn to sew last year but it seemed way too difficult on my own so I decided to take a course and it's been great because it forces me to go somewhere and make something instead of mindlessly staring at my screen for 3 hours after work. And I hope that after it, the prospect of sewing something on my own won't be so daunting and I'll be able to do that as well.
i love the idea of a structured course. i took one on music journalism in 2021 and i have not been able to match the skill0stretchiness/volume of output since
You really brought words to something I’ve been struggling to change in my life too. Let’s transfer our energy spent on consumption into creation of connection and positive change
I needed this video so badly, thank you for articulating something I've been thinking about for a while
I feel this so hard, even with non creative pursuits. Recently instead of studying I’ve been planning vacations. Not actually booking any of them, just imagining them and spending time looking at places online. It’s so frustrating because if I just did my work I might have enough time to take the vacation for real
I feel this so hard. So far one of the things that's helped me is making my phone as undesirable as possible. It wasn't enough just to set time limits or delete Instagram. I turn off notifications, put the display in grayscale, and basically remove all the cheap little dopamine hits that you can get from the little device. I'm also trying to be more intentional with the things I do consume-more art, less content. Sit down and read a book or a longform article or watch a movie. Consume something that's meant to last, that's intended to outlast the average attention span.
I wrote this song a while ago which your video reminded me of:
you were created
to be creative
not to consume
glued to devices
made to be devisive
and i’m not immune
and the people are talking
with nothing to say, nothing to say
those are pixels you’re lost in
you can’t look away
your mind is a delicate space
human connection
requires intention
not photoshopped lies
exploiting attention
what an evil invention
and ironic disguise
check the feed, scrolling, stalking
with nothing to say, nothing to say
and you search for belonging
you can’t look away
attention’s the price that you pay
put down your phone
and love me like you used to
put down your phone
take a walk outside
do you realize how much of your life
is spent on screens
PUT DOWN YOUR PHONE
AND LOVE ME LIKE YOU USED TO
PUT DOWN YOUR PHONE
TAKE A WALK OUTSIDE
DO YOU REALIZE
HOW MUCH OF YOUR LIFE
IS SPENT ON SCREENS
thanks for your vulnerability. if this comment gets a like, i'll upload the song.
th-cam.com/video/1swdkLOQUpU/w-d-xo.html
This resonates. I wish you all the luck in the world. It's a hard road. I want to die on all the hills but I get so tired of fighting.
Oof, I feel this one! One thing I will say - on the first few days coming back from vacation, when I still felt more calm and rested than I did now, I felt like I had more conscious control about my consumption habits. It feels to me like the toll that working 40h per week, and commuting a few times a week takes on me is part of what contributes to the overconsumption of content that feels satisfying short-term more than long-term.
this rings true to me. it’s just when i’m tired or draine i want a low effort distraction, which maybe make me feel more tired and drained instead of calm and rested
This is a conversation that needs to happen. I feel the same feeling. I have app blockers on my phone for all my consumption apps and I disable all of them almost everyday despite trying my best...
(bc why do i have screen time limits on my phone if i’m always clicking “ignore limit for today”???)
I feel like all I do is consume. I feel permastuck in that pre-embryonic stage of "I want to have an idea". Sometimes I feel inspired but it's never enough to overcome the despair that it's all pointless or that my creation will never meaningfully connect with anyone anyway.
I WANT TO HAVE AN IDEA is exactly it. But not giving myself the space/boredom to actually have it. I see it in a lot of the content I watch too, it can feel like we're all just reacting to cultural phenomena rather than generating the phenomena ourselves. Like of course no idea is truly original but if I'm just tired of video essays about tiktok trends? And yet that's also kind of what I'm making bc I want to have an idea but I don't have one?
I definitely have been feeling this for some time as well. In the past couple weeks I have been more intentional and really enjoying what I have been consuming (less mindless scrolling). And while that has been joyful and at least feels like a step in the right direction, the passing time still feels somewhat empty. Thank you for the reminder that spending more time creating is the next step!!
fuck i relate to this so far. i''ve been trying and failing to deal with it. i wish i didnt feel so much shame about it. makes it even harder to problem solve.
I really enjoyed this video! Though i am not a physical consumer (thanks to being off social media with viral item hauls) I will admit I am a content consumer, and the first step into getting out of it is to acknowledge the issues and delving into why we personally consume said content. There's a insightful video with a thumbnail title 'Create or be Consumed' by an artist TH-camr qrbits that you or other people who enjoyed this video ought to check out. Anyways, great video, here's to start to paving out way to creation and slow down overwhelming world of mindless consumption!!
Yeah... I put off doodling because idk, barriers and stuff, and make up for it by doing colourful nails, and feel slightly bad for ordering stuff from across the ocean because I saw it on YT, but that's just more easy and makes me glad for a bit.
I feel this way about my skincare products I order from across the ocean. it feels good for a bit. But at a certain point that plateaus out too.
Flat rate internet, streamable media and mobile devices removed the last "natural barriers" to over consumption of media. To me it feels a bit like added sugar in processed foods. We as a society don't yet have a good handle on how we deal with the eternal over supply of once rare resources. It does not mean we can't try to fix this for ourselves but we need to acknowledge that this is a hard problem.
I think the intro of infinite scroll/short form has made it even worse for me. it's like playing a slot machine, where one out of every 10 videos is rewarding and you just keep going until you find that next good one. But I agree, the tech has evolved faster than our norms and skillsets around how and when to use it.
i wish i had something more thoughtful to contribute to this conversation other than love your hair like that!
thanks! one of the things I have been doing instead of writing is learning how to do a roller set, lol.
Hannah Louise Poston recently made an excellent video on this topic too! She called this habits “shopping behaviors”, though “consummer behaviors” would probably apply as well
i watched it sometime between filming this video and posting it!! i feel that a lot, bc i don’t actually buy much in the way of clothes but I spend sooooo much time looking for the ideal version of whatever that even the browsing lowers my quality of life even if i never click buy
i swap between obsessing on my own projects and falling into a pit of random internet shit... always try to stay on my own stuff, but it's hard
you are SO not the only one! this is a daily, daily thing. i feel your struggle and i am really happy to watch this video :)
thank you
oof i feel this hard. Whether it's reading fanfic instead of a new book or relistening to the same ole playlist, or rewatching the same tv but very very rarely ever sitting in just quiet I'm constantly taking things in. And it's hard to remember to distinguish between consumption and, like, experiencing something. I'm aiming to read 5 physical books in my library that I've never read before, and also focus on creating. Even if it's silly and bad. a half hour sewing a silly wonky looking yeti is better than nothing.
relistening to the same playlist is interesting too, music and books are two of the areas that I would like to consume NEW and MORE and yet it is just easier to focus on easier/more familiar. maybe reading and listening,really listening, are more active activities, where reading social media posts or listening to a playlist where the experience has already been determined for me is a more passive activity.
For music, i know i make a playlist of brand new music i'm even remotely curious about to listen to, and when I feel bored or stagnant with my current playlist i make a point to listen through a brand new album. I't always an experience i don't regret. @@ItsRadishTime
I love your videos and the dialog in the comments because some of these habits are ones I’ve thought about but so much of this is like oh Same. A lot of it for me is the constant multitasking like doing the dishes while watching/listening to Critical Role, audiobooks while driving rather than physical books, a task while binging a show. Over the summer I got into making friendship bracelets with embroidery thread and it felt like a great task when watching something that wasn’t scrolling but I didn’t realize how much it had affected me until being caught up on bracelets for friends this week and having to think about not doing something else while watching my fun lil shows.
oh having to do a secondary task while watching shows is SUCH a thing I do and I don't like it! Like I can't focus on the entertainment that has been skillfully crafted for me by a team of people without also playing the Spelling Bee on my phone? what is this?
Just popping in to say I relate to this so much ♥️
I feel this so hard! I recently doubled the amount of free time I have and while I had no free time I had so many plans and intentions for all the cool things I would be doing ...except somehow I'm not doing any of them
yeeeeep when i went freelance i was like im gonna have so much BALANCE now that I set my own schedule but i just replaced communities and conference calls with other time suck garbage
Watching this video on my lunch break (instead of admiring the snowfall out the window to my right), minutes away from turning on the SelfControl app (where I've blocked the normal social sites but also, LinkedIn & anything I can scroll). I've gotten pretty good at limiting my phone screen time, largely thanks to time limits and the "one sec" app, but I feel you on the draw for mindless consumption while doing challenging/creative work. Especially the desire to feel "up to date" when making content, which luckily I don't do professionally. Curious to see where this road leads us -- I've really loved the Kindness Method book for habit change!
i use a different app (freedom) but yeah I feel like I need to turn it on to get any work done these days. I guess if I can't grow my own ability to moderate my screen time, store bought is fine, but I'd just love to be able to have some internal sense of "enough".
I approach this 2 ways. The first is new hard thing is first thing in the morning when I still have 2 brain cells. And the other is multitasking. I know everyone says multitasking is bad but I need an undercurrent of stimulation to stay on task. Right now I am learning to sew a much harder thing than I've ever sewn before and the constant feeling of frustration and failure is soothed by drawfee or podcast or audiobook.
this is helpful-i know i have a better day if I can keep myself from scrolling as the first thing when I wake up-even if I end up scrolling later, I got at least a little something out of my brain when it was fresh.
The spectre of hbomb haunting us all. 💣👻
Im hoping its like a bell curve where the ones least worried about it are the ones who most need to be worried?
It's not just you. I got the clock app a few months ago specifically because I wanted to make more music and uploading there is so much easier than uploading to TH-cam but in the hours and hours I've spent on the app, the more time I spend there the less I create there and the worse I feel later even when it feels so good in the moment.
Hello from across the void!! TH-cam used to be my place for inspiration. I watch so many people who encourage me to think, create, ENGAGE! But I will spend........hours..........watching them do what I wish I could. I'm really tired of it. Honestly, what's helped is acknowledging it as a form of addiction. It's helped me take a lot of the blame off myself. (These platforms are *designed* to be addictive) But how to move on? I have a distraction-blocking extension for yt. That's a start. I somehow need to remember how *good* it feels to create. Even if it's just a doodle, or photos of my neighborhood. Idk. There's hope I'll reconnect to that imaginative part of me. Good to know I'm not alone in the struggle
wow yes i still sometimes get ideas here but the feeling of like diving into to this incredibly connected, lean-forward, inspiring world where everyone was sort of creating and consuming for each other that i had when i first started isn’t here anymore
I 100% feel the same way, and it's something I've been trying to find a way through for a while. Hopefully by talking about it we can remind ourselves that we need to keep making creative space for ourselves and then actually act on it!
basically invoking the peer pressure of my entire audience to fix this 😅
so im in the process of renewing my passport - a thing i knew i needed to do but hadn't really thought deeply about until now - and when i opened it up and saw the completely blank pages i realized that in the 10 years i've had my passport i've never gone anywhere that needed it. yet every month i spend [redacted] collecting dozens of pieces of cardboard with pretty pictures on them (pokemon cards) - and im not saying i don't deserve to have the joy of organizing all my pretty pictures into pleasing arrangements like a little puzzle inside my card binders, but surely in the **next** 10 years i'll convince myself to use some of that money to go somewhere passport-worthy...... i hope?
I consume a lot of media, maybe even chronically, but I don't have a problem with that. The problem is that I eat too much junk food, I don't move my body enough, & I've gained too much weight since a particular point of the pandemic about 3 years ago.
This video came just at the right moment as I'm trying to stop consuming crappy content online. I've already done some progress in other realms of consumption like over-eating, but my screen time has not been something I am proud of. Sorry for broken english.😅
i think a lot of people are in the same boat! curious that we're all reaching this point of too much crappy content at the same time.
@@ItsRadishTimeSomething to add: I am subscribed to many great content creators, but watch only a few. Who's got the time, right? It also feels like I just can't choose sometimes between so many great content so I end up watching the ones that make me feel great and I have no problem with that. 😊
Oh boy do I feel this.
"i can't be the only one with a consumption problem"
John Green, is that you?
me 🤝 john
anticonsumption
Think you hit the nail on the head.
totally and uncomfortably relatable.
Every time I think of working on something new for my skill set, I just find it easier to skip it and do stuff I already am comfortable doing. Every time I think of doing the next class on skillshare on Photoshop, I just end up reading or sketching something. It feels productive but stagnant 😢
i relate to this a lot. i feel like i'm stuck making the same *kind* of video bc that's what I know and I'm just afraid of being bad in public.
Consumption? Hope you recover quickly from your tuberculosis
my friends don't call me TB for nothin'
Make an intention and say bismillah, ask for help from your god/universe. That is what helped me. Now my problem is remembering to say bismillah first. Things only go right when i do.
I want to be creative so bad!!! But I don’t want to buy much more new materials, collages seem to be the only thing I can make. Any other art medium suggestions? That are cheap or I can make cheaper?
Maybe a buy nothing group could help here. Surely someone has some art supplies they are trying to get rid of that you could adopt!
I know it’s beside the point but i used to love a game called “a dark room” and your video game @1:10 feels eerily similar. Can you share the nameb
it's called kittens
I’m literally split screen between this and Pinterest right now because I wanted to look for outfit inspiration, while instead scrolling on yesstyle on my phone looking at makeup. Feeling like I can’t suit anything. 😅
the multi screening/never being able to focus on any one of them is so real
oh god
it me
(this comment is an accountability device to try and make sure I come back and respond in more detail once I'm up to it)
dont worry I will keep reminding you (trying to fix myself)!
I wish I could make art with all of those reference pictures that I've saved(and keep saving)
I'm sure there's a way to turn it into as easy access routine as buying something online.
The complexity of this issue is that "you can buy things to become happy" is an idea and a false one, but it is catchy enough to kling to for those endorphines we desperately need, so that it feels almost like a rudimentary need...and everything and your mom screams about consuming something every second.
It is the culture we live in. And it feels wrong.
I guess we could start with unraveling what was replaced with consumption?
You buy this purse to do what? To feel what?
Or you scroll to...
I found that the grander the project that I'm trying to make, the more excuses I find not to get to it... It even comes to me devaluing the work before it gets done.Because I never stop questioning it's worth.
Especially if it is something I cannot sell, but that's another theme. It feels that we only worth something if we are sellable. Human lives, ideas - all became products... in a neat box, ready to be sent..."aesthetic" "content"
I hate those words now. Forever cursed.
yeah, i definitely devalue works in progress (or not so much progress) too, maybe as a defense against my feelings of failure. "no one will watch this anyway" "it's going to turn out poorly" to sort of protect myself against the fact that I'm not doing it. Hard to make things for their own sake when it runs counter to all the messaging that what really *will* make you happy and fulfilled is buying some product.
#relatable, really makes me think...... Alexa, show me WALL E on prime video!
If this ain’t me
and i didn't even get to the thing of like *where is even a sustainable place to create rn* which your ig stories often remind me is a problem of its own.
I'm in the exact same place right now. This video reminded me of the Phil Kaye poem "before the Internet": th-cam.com/video/_QKoGKKfOeU/w-d-xo.html. I'm constantly haunted by the boundless creativity I had as a kid before becoming addicted to consumption/distraction.
you are not the only one.
It's not just you