20 years ago, when my parents were 70 - I asked them to move close to me so I could take care of them as they aged. They had an enormous 2 story house that would someday be impractical, and would not be able to drive forever. They laughed at my suggestion. I spent the next 20 years trying to engage them in a discussion about the future - and they continued to put it off. Now they are 90, in poor health, can't drive, can't get up and down stairs, and need help with even the most basic tasks. They live almost 2,000 miles away from me, their only child - and I am not leaving my job, house, and husband to go and take care of them. Every day they call and complain about how hard life is - and every day I am angry with them for putting us all in an impossible situation. Thanks for letting me vent. Please people - plan for your old age. This is a very important video.
I live overseas and see my sister drive for over an hour to care for our mother. We asked her for years to make plans and now it’s all up to my sister to assist. Oh boy it’s not easy on her. If only 20 yrs ago 😏
@@annesmith6582 What part of "They refused to move" did you not get? It's too late now - my 91 year old father is bedridden and hooked up to machines. He relies on an army of doctors, nurses, specialists, test facilities, home care providers and therapists for his daily care. He is near deaths doorstep! How do you propose I get him from NJ to FL? Shall we take him in an ambulance??? How about of Life Flight helicopter with on board medics??
@@thehappywanderer6469 Thank you for sharing your experience, and for your kind words of wisdom. I'm so sorry you went though this awful thing. That childlike anger and stubbornness you described seem to be a common trait in aging parents... I have heard that very thing from many different people. My mother also has that perverse desire to suffer. Many times I offered to pay for a chair lift - but she refuses. She would rather complain about how hard it is to climb stairs. She starts screaming when I talk about assisted living facilities. Why do people become so punishing as they get old? As I went back and re-read your response, something occurred to me... Maybe (just maybe) your mum chose to live with your brother because you had already given her 15 years of your life. It was a huge sacrifice. Maybe she felt it was time for your brother to step up and do his part. We may never know... but trust me - you are a hero for what you did.
I dislike cooking for one, so I started a small group at my church with five or six other ladies with a one- or two-person household. We get together every couple of months to pick recipes, and in between those meetings we get together and prepare either the meals or assemble the ingredients for the meals. We prepare twelve servings of each recipe, two servings per freezer bag. Then each of us gets one bag of each person's recipe to take home. And we laugh and be silly and share a snack and a beverage when we're done. A few hours' prep and six or seven meals ready to go, plus fellowship - it's a win all around. I'm almost 64, been a widow for over 10 years, and have no children. Sometimes I get lonely, but my life is peaceful and I'd much rather be alone than be with someone who didn't honor who I was created to be.
Fantastic! You’re the kind of friend and neighbor I’d love to have. I’m very healthy at 72, still run every day (44 years and counting), then walk my pups up and down hills for an hour and a half, am active but in a new community and emotionally isolated. I thought it would be a good idea to move away from my home state of California to Washington state 2 years ago. I’ve regretted it every single day. I’ll take a cue from you; make my own circle of friends. You’re inspiring.
Great content!! I'm a paramedic so I have a few suggestions to make my job easier. There is something called "file of life" or " life file". You complete the form. Which hospital, allergies, brief medical history, list of medications. Your demographics, etc. This paperwork goes in a plastic envelope with a magnet and is kept on your frig. It's amazing how many close relatives do not know this info abt their loved ones. Or a neighbor finds a person down or sick and calls 911 but cant give any of this important information. We paramedics carry life saving medications and can administer them prior to arriving at the hospital. Throw rugs and extention cords would be things I would advise removing as they become trip hazards. Be well.
@@anonymousforever interesting. I'm not afraid of death. As a believer in Jesus, I know where I'll be going. I was giving education so when 911 is activated and the people who are expecting some type of help including life saving interventions to show up it is a positive experience for all.
@@anonymousforever How do read this practical advice as ‘fear of death’? This video is about how to age in place, this paramedic’s advice totally fits with that theme.
My husband died 2 years ago. My 9 children helped me move from a big house to a 2 bedroom 2 bath condo! My HOA takes care of lawn care and snow removal! I am 78 and in good health. I do worry about the years ahead. Three of my children live near me but all of my children are involved in my life. I am doing well financially, for which I am very grateful. ❤
I'm planning ahead. My husband and I care for his 101 year old mother. He's 72, I'm 64 - 73 and 65 this year. He has no children, I have two by a previous marriage, who live in South Africa. My husband and I are essentially on our own for our own eldercare. Given our age difference and that women tend to outlive men, the likelihood is that I would be there to take care of him and there would be nobody to take care of me. I've started a petition for a green card for my daughter, who's fighting major hardships in South Africa. One of my sisters, who lives in England, is facing being silver and solo - never married, no children. Our longterm plan is for the three of us to live together.
hope that works out for you but sometimes the plans we hope for can change drastically. My older sister who never married and I planned to live together in my small house in our old. My husband was 17 years older than me so figured he'd go before, which he did 9 years ago. In 2013 when my sister was 59 she was diagnosed with a very aggressive uterine cancer. She was dead in 14 months. So much for our plans. Now I'm 65 alone, no family, no kids, no husband.
Same here, 65 y/old male. I have an Estate Plan and Trust for End of Life, but what if I'm immobilized with Parkinson's? A stroke? MS or ALS? Well, my attorney specializes in Elder Law and we will be reorganizing the Trust for possible long term care. I can't cover all scenarios, but there are some common situations that can be comprehended. I bought a book called, "Who Will Take Care of Me When I'm Old?" by Joy Loverde. She is the leading guru for Elders aging all alone. Here in the USA, there are plenty of horror stories describing the descent into homelessness and Medicaid, including being required to lose all assets to receive medical care. It's another US nightmare the politicians won't fix.
Thank you for the suggestion. I'll get that book. Regarding politicians in the U. S. A. there's not many who look out for the underdog. They're beholden to the Elites for campaign funds which is what they spend their time working on getting more $$. Us older folks are not on their radar at all. But, we can make our voices heard when we vote. All the best to you. You sound like you're in a good position. Try to get rid of the what it's in your thinking. I believe we bring into our lives what we focus our thinking on. So stay positive! ❤
Great advice! I was happy to learn that I've hit all the buttons. One thing that I took advantage of when I was younger was a Long Term Care insurance policy. They are pretty pricey these days but I know that I can afford a "facility" if it becomes necessary. Or, it pays for in home care. Also, as an elder orphan (I love that phrase), there is nobody for me to leave my assets to, nor is there anyone to wrap up my affairs. I am leaving all my personal belongings to the animal shelter's thrift store and my attorney will sell my house and distribute the proceeds to various charities and causes. I also recommend that, if you have animal companions, that you make arrangements for their care in your will or trust. Do not let them become a shelter animal. They will be grieving your loss, plus be suffering the indignity of shelter life. If you have arranged with a friend to take Bitsy or Spot after you pass, also leave an appropriate stipend for their care. And as far as "who will care for me?", I leave that to the Universe. I've done the best I can to arrange my affairs and I am trying to pay it forward by helping others while I can. I have to trust that the Universe will somehow provide care for me when needed. Have faith!
Love your idea of leaving things to an animal shelter thrift store - had not thought of that. Any pets I have upon passing are provided for in my will. Should outlive the multiple I currently have, then will only adopt 1 or 2 seniors from shelters if I feel confident to take care of them. I have seen animal companions of elderly suffer terribly because their person could not take proper care of them. These are hard things, but all goes so much better when planned for.
My mom also has a long term care policy and based on her suggestion, I got one also when I was around 60. While it took a bit of work to get mom's policy to begin payouts, we broke even within less than a year. Her policy pays 100% of the cost of her memory care facility monthly costs. If you get a policy, make sure you investigate the memory care aspect. It could be that you can still physically feed yourself, but if you think you're in college when you're 85, it seems like it should count as a disability.
Have a cell phone with you at ALL times for emergency. My back went out while in bed and my phone was in the kitchen. took 2 1/2 hours to crawl to phone in extreme pain. Also keep in pocket when outside in case fall down
My son bought me an apple watch recently. It connects to my iphone as long as the i phone is somewhere in the house. Last week I fell in the kitchen and couldn't get up. All I had to do was say "Siri call 911". I wear the watch always unless it needs charging. I can also answer phone calls on my watch. Best gift ever!
I bought a small purse with a really long over the shoulder strap. I put my phone in it and wear it to take my garbage totes out to the alley. I've started wearing it around the house after a recent fall.
And please realize, you can set your iPhone to respond to Siri even if it’s not open. Set it up and try, just call out “Siri, find my phone” (as example) and it will ping your phone.
Yes neighbors do rock. We have a home builder living near us. He called a whole crew to erect a detached garage that my husband planned to build by himself. They did not charge us anything.
I am 77 and moved to a house in a small community in northern Ohio, a retired nurse educator/supervisor. I have no family but worked until 75. I had 2 dogs and they died. All services in my town I can walk to. I continue to travel internationally and am financially good. I planned early in my 50s for all this. You cover all the topics I thought about, living will etc. Well done! Only problem I have is making myself garden - and about knees - I injured one and had to get it replaced. Worth it! But at the time painful. But worth it! Take care. .
I'm new to your channel and enjoying it. Regarding meals, I've created a very easy plan for husband and myself. I'm disabled and have limited standing / walking time so I reduced my every day tasks by making short cuts. Husband has Parkinson's and no longer maintains the home like he used to. More responsibilities are now mine and the list is growing. A huge savings of steps and time for me is with meal preparation. I'm diabetic so must eat low carb and requires from scratch cooking. I crock pot a beef roast and whole chicken each week. The broth created become soup or stew meals. We get on the average 3 dinner meals beef, 3 dinner meals chicken. I use the 34 oz glass meal prep containers to divide it up. I keep 2 days worth in refrigerator and remaining I freeze. Each container holds 2 servings. The containers are oven, microwave, freezer safe. This also saves us a lot of money as well. I use a lot of bell pepper and onions so I buy them frozen. We still have a garden.
I think a small chest freezer would be better than eating prepared meals, both financially and nutrtionally. My sister lives alone and finally got a small freezer. Now she can take advantage of meat sales and she cooks enough at a time to have extra meals from the freezer when she is tired or not feeling well. The cost of a small freezer will be returned quickly...
So nice to have found you! I am silver and recently solo (husband passed in October ) and orphaned with siblings but no children. These are things that have been crossing my mind a lot lately. I will continue to watch and start getting my life in order. Thank you. 🙏🏽
I don't drive, which wasn't a problem when I lived in Seattle, (which used to have a great bus system) but when I moved back to CA to care for my dad, I wondered how I was going to get around. Amazingly, his town had a free bus service for seniors. They'd send a bus to pick you up, take you anywhere in town, and bring you home again. Every Friday, one of the buses went to the nearest city. The driver asked where the riders wanted to go, and was always able to accommodate all requests. My father left me enough money to live practically anywhere in the US, EXCEPT California, and I decided to move to New England. I bought a house in another small town. I am blessed with good health, so I assumed I'd be able to walk or take a cab anywhere I liked. But this town has no cabs. No Uber, No LIFT. We are out in the Boonies. But there's a special bus, just for seniors, that takes us to medical appointments anytime and shopping every Friday. Like the first one, this service is completely free.They only visit one grocery store a week; we don't get a choice, but I'm OK with that. I did not plan ahead about transportation - it was just dumb luck that I ended up in such wonderful towns, It could have been a big problem, though. If you're thinking of relocating, I strongly recommend researching community services before you move.
This is true. No resourcesmakes everything hard. I guess you plan for what you can. You consider if there is anything you can put in place that might help.
agreed - it can be hard. I have been lucky in some ways, but still worried it's not enough. I'm grateful to Jen for making a succinct list, and suggesting others. That at least gives some goals to work toward.
Establishing relationships could be beneficial for those without family and friends. If you can join free groups that meet locally, gardening or hobby groups meet in local libraries. If you are a shut in with no transportation, call a local church, ask if some one is able to transport you to church. These are ways we can open our lives up to other people, connect. Churches often have senior outreach programs, events and ride share.
@@tinabennett8524If you knew me and my personal issues then your suggestions really don't help atheists, and people with severe arthritis, etc... I've found churches to have the biggest hypocrites and bigots and clique groups that exclude many. I used to garden and do crafts and art when my hands, knees and back weren't severely arthritic. I personally do better in one on one relationships or very small groups of "like minded people". I live in a tax credit senior apartment and we are very restricted in what we are allowed to do like only 2 chairs 1 table and 2 pots on the porch; very limited for holiday decorations; nothing infront of inside windows; limited visitors; etc.......... If you don't own your own home you are regulated to following others rules ( to be submissive) to survive.
I'm 29, probably an odd woman in my community who wants to live alone. like i dont feel the urge to share my life with another person or have a partner. i have predefined goals. I'm stubborn, hardworking while also caring (everyone calls me a hsp which I am) and commmitted to community service. I live with my single aged mother about 55+. We have our share of hardships, two women in the family. She and our far relatives worries about my future but I dont see my life going any other way but my way. I'm figuring out my path in life and getting a glipmse at the long road ahead. I dont know how your video ended up in my feed. I feel it's a blessing. Thanks for sharing your tips and tricks and anecdotes from your life❤🎉 Really appreciate that. Instantly subscribed❤
i look after my mom and carry the responsibilties but sometimes it's becoming tough. as of now i dont have a stable job and my health is in shambles. im definitely going to care about myself more, so i can look after her better.❤ your videos have inspired me❤
You arent living alone tho if you live with your mother. Once she's gone, you might regret not having looked for a partner & being independent. Her company prob stops you feeling lonely or motivated to forge a family of your own.
@@sarahholland2600OR she knows herself more than you, and doesn’t want the same as you for her life. Not every woman dreams of a husband and children, and others trying to make them feel like they’re going to regret their decisions is disrespectful and invasive, especially coming from a stranger. Everybody’s different, and the right thing to do would be to respect that instead of projecting
@@PoissonDemiVide I'm not married, dont have kids & enjoy living alone. The comments section is for expressing & discussing opinions on the content. If you arent happy with that, it's your issue.
i used to be a nurse and just took care of my elderly mother so that she could die at home. My observation, the vast majority of people cannot expect to be cared for by their children. A lot of children only care about their parent's money or see them as a burden. I've seen this more times than i can count. People with children may not be any more secure in old age compared to their childless counterparts.
I took care of my own parents for many years because as an adopted child I felt an enormous responsibility to return what they had given me. Now I am alone. My husband died 6 years ago and made sure to turn my only child against me. But my Father above looks after me and has helped me survive this purely EVIL act. Watch out for narcissistic wolves in sheep’s clothing people❣️
Raised 2 daughters on my own and we had a happy family. They got married and now it's as if I barely exist-go figure. Sometimes friends are better than family.
My mom passed from vascular dementia last October. She and my father resisted and refused to change their living circumstances in spite of her decline while the house became unclean and disorderly. Everyone thinks they are going to die peacefully in bed, but that is not reality. The only way I was going to be able to get my mother help would be to have my father legally declared incompetent. I wasn't going to take that step. So it was a matter of monitoring and being ready. Of course she became malnourished and went to the ER after a fall. I pulled the ER doctor aside and told him that dad is not and cannot take care or her any longer at home. The doctor agreed and admitted her while other arrangements were made. Part of me is glad that she lived exactly how she wanted to live until she couldn't, but another part of me is terribly sad that that I wasn't able to help her any more than I did. Such is life. Miss you so much Mama, but I am glad you are at peace. ❤
I am in my seventies and have multiple myeloma. I am slowly clearing out my home firstly of extra clothes that are not really required, next various ornaments that make dusting much quicker, so as to streamline cleaning, etc. Make everything simple. Rely on the providence of our Eternal Father to whom we are travelling closer to each day. Praise the Lord.
When I bought my house in the country, I made sure that I planned ahead: house with no stairs and level yard, a local hospital, medical /dental care, pharmacy, some type of Walmart type general store, a grocery store, and some type of transportation- in my area it is taxi services. There is also a bus system that will take me to nearby towns for a few dollars.
I am so sorry you are in the same position and I am. I am moving my mother and she is 92. We have been trying to downsize for four years, but Health keeps getting in the way. When she’s gone, it will just be me. I have no friends left Looking back they were really friends anyway. I have no siblings no children and my cousins live far away. We don’t really have a relationship anyway . So I have no idea how I’m gonna survive completely alone.completely by myself completely isolated. Now that I’m working hard on bettering my health It’s still very uncertain. I’m very grateful. My mom is as healthy as she is for her age, but I worry about what this move could potentially do to her. But I’m doing this to hopefully be able to keep her out of a home. I will not go into a long-term care facility when my time comes. I thank God forMAID and hope it’s still around when I need it. Wishing you all the best ❤
@@PatagonializardYou're a brave woman. You may not think so but you are. May I suggest you take baby steps to establish relationships with people who live near you. It doesn't take a lot to just reach out and say hello to individuals near you. They may be experiencing the very same things you are and you could change their lives with a simple message. ❤
@@maureenmannion6748 I have been trying to fit into this Community for 25 years and I’m not trying anymore. Maybe I will find someone in the new place we move but I’m done with all of that if I run into people and I meet someone or something that interests me, but I don’t leave the house very much so I don’t see that happening and that’s OK. I’ve been alone my whole life as long as I can remember so it’s just the idea of dying alone I don’t like
I just stumbled upon you channel. First, thank you! I am just starting my journey as an aging orphan. My husband is much older than me at 83 with health issues. I had to retire early to be his caregiver and our finances are not great. Years of caring for my mom before she passed. All of my family moved to Baltimore for work and housing opportunities last year. So, your channel was exactly what I needed as I begin to prepare for being on my own. I am aware I most likely will live way beyond my hubby of 50 yrs. Joining the growing female widower who's finances are halved upon widowhood. Thank you, I hope we can share our journey. Best - E
I just bought a fold-able grocery cart on Amazon to keep in back of car. When come home with groceries will put them all in cart so make only one trip instead of 5 up my long walkway and into house!!
@@mojo7493 I actually rescued one of those from the garbage room on the floor of my building. Someone had thrown it out when there was absolutely nothing wrong with it. I wiped it down and started using it the next day. It’s become invaluable to me!
I’m a retired financial planner and I think your advice is spot on. I retired at age 58, 5 years ago, and took a financial hit that was well worth the benefits I’ve experienced so far.
I married at 47 to 65 year old love of my life We both purchased LTC when first married. He is now 88 I'm 69, and we are selling everything and moving into a nice apartment . Also with all legal documents,.wills etc updated.we try very hard to make these choices with love and a sense of adventure. I do not want to make the mistakes my parents made. They did nothing and I had to give up 7 years to help them ..we have no kids
Consider having pre-need funeral plans in place and a document in a readily accessible spot in your home that provide emergency personnel with the information. Pre-planning could be as simple as cremation and no service, up to planning every detail of a funeral.
I've been thinking about that too. I want to be an organ donor if possible, and/or contribute to medical research, so I'll need to see how cremation / funeral plans work with that. The more you plan now, the less you have to think about it later, eh?
@@wcwright44yes. America is a heartless country in many ways. So many good people suffer needlessly because of the corporate Elites run the country. Sorry about the rant!
We are a child free couple. Both parents on each side passed over 20 - 45 years ago. We are estranged (blessedly) from our respective siblings. We designed our home for eventual ground floor living & are there now. We saved sufficient funds to hire care givers when the need becomes apparent. I truly think everyone needs to plan for their OLD AGE. We completed our first will a decade ago & recently updated it. There are so many options for delivery of take out or groceries these days; even our COA offers meals on wheels. I do not have a personal physician as I do NOT want to ever go through chemotherapy again. Hoping my partner survives me but so far so good.
Good evening, Fellow Canuck. My situation is a little different than yours. As a widower, I am able to cope as a solo senior. I believe I have most of my bases covered. I'm more of a 'lone wolf'. I rely on very few people. I have a lawyer sister and a doctor. My house is centrally located and paid off and I still drive at 70 yo. Finances are near perfect especially when I convert my RRSP to a RRIF . I don't bother my neighbors and they don't bother me. Great subject. Very timely.
Hi Jenn! Spot on girlfriend! I was caretaker for my mom for over 18 years. My goal when that ended was to move into a small house where everything was easy for settling into older age. 400 sq feet only 2 steps to enter house but easily could put in a ramp. When I had 2 knee replacement surgeries the last two years my house functioned as I had planned. You are so right to have a plan, community connections, and to keep mobile.i do have 2 children, but only one lives near by. But have some lovely friends whose kids feel like mine💕. It is wise to plan ahead!! I plan to age in place. This year I’m planting more perennials in my garden to cut back a bit on the work of my large garden. Enjoy your content
I'm a male, approaching 50, an only child, and thinking about how I'll get by when I'm older. My health is not good despite doing my best to recover it. I love being alone, but I need a close friend or two, even if I rarely see them. I thrive in meaningful, intimate friendships, and don't do well with friendships that devolve to meaningless drivel. I had to cull some unhealthy friendships over the years and got dumped by my last friend of over 10 years. Now I have only a couple casual acquaintances. I'm scared about my future and how I'll get by in the future, even if I only need a little help, here and there.
I’m thinking a gated community like Jen lives in would be ideal. I don’t live in one but I have given it some thought. That seems to bring people together.
@@ChristineSpringerElaine -- I think I communicate more like a woman though -- face to face, with deeper thoughts and feelings involved. Most guys communicate side-by-side -- while doing some sort of meaningless activity -- and usually with little depth. I can't survive in conversations and relationships that diverge down to drivel.
Hi Jeanne , I found your channel recently and I love your videos, I’m 66 and trying to plan and organize my life the most effective way for the next 15 years, your videos are so helpful. Regards from Portugal ❤
A very wise planning! And now it's clear that you're not living alone! The fact that you don't share your household with someone - this is not "alone". You've arranged a whole community around you, by choosing your place of living and by the activities you take part in, and your life is full of people. That's great! (But most people don't live in such conditions...)
I’m the same age as you (58) and this has been on my mind a lot. No kids, no spouse; I have 3 siblings but they are all older than me. Great video for people with similar situation
At 58, I bought my retirement home while I was still working.... it gave me a chance to ease into a new environment while I still had a reliable paycheck. Now I'm 62, and the transition to retirement has been seamless. By the time I left the workforce, I had already settled into my town and developed new relationships. I feel like it would have been too much if I had tried to do it all at once. Good luck :)
With an inheritance from the sale of my father's farm I was able to purchase a house in a small town that was all on 1 floor, Had A wheelchair accessible Deck and ramp into the house, and Handicapped accessible shower. No I was not handicapped in anyway at the point I bought this house at 59. However in the 6 years since I've been here it has become More important that I have those options. In a person's later years Those decisions Make a huge difference In the quality of your life
As a retired nurse who worked with older adults in the community my advice is to move to a bugalow when you are younger. Prep it ,for later life ie wider doors than usual, wet shower 2nd bedroom with ensuit. It can still look stylish. I have visited so many older people who have established gardens that they love but have to move house becsuse of stairs.
Hi Jen. Thank you. Your channel is amazing and you provide great information without extra annoying fluff. Sounds like you are living the Senior Shangrilah existence. I retired 5 years ago. My husband did not want to downsize. He wanted a bigger, newer home. After he passed away I have too much space, too many stairs, and too much junk. I know I need to downsize, but I live with an adult son with autism who is vehemently opposed to moving. I have lots of things to work through...
Third video I've seen of yours - you're an INSPIRATION - as someone in the "creative field" in my 30s, the idea of just learning to edit simple videos has had me frozen for what feels like a few years now. I just want to be able to add that skill to my resume. Here YOU ARE learning everything so quickly, AND MONETIZING IT. You should be ridiculously proud of yourself. I don't even know you, havent consumed more than 20 minutes of your content, and I'm already rooting so hard for you!
I'm married with adult kids, and appreciated this video a lot. It's not only single people who should take care of their own needs wisely. Just found your channel and am on my third "catch up" video. ❤
Creating a Golden Girls lifestyle is an option also. It would be nice to build a team of friends that reciprocate in caring for each other. You could take each other to outpatient surgeries, etc. Household duties could be shared, etc. Of course, men could do this as well.
My retirement home is in a nice suburb, walking distance to grocery stores and major bus route. There’s an urgent care and a big hospital nearby. Lots of restaurants, drug stores,and all major grocery chains on the Main Street. Freeway is also close. I use grocery delivery. I cook from scratch. Uber and Lyft I can get 24/7. I am waiting for AI robot caregiver and AI controlled car to be the thing in near future.
UR a very good speaker, and easy to listen to. I turned 67 today and noticed in the last few weeks my vision is not so sharp, and it is definitely more difficult to keep extra weight off, so I too started walking more, and that definitely helps as does learning by video and listening more than reading. Love from Ontario!
It was nice to compare notes about planning for later🙂. Thank you! I am 71, retired and living in a medium sized town in Eastern Ont. I chose it specifically for aging. I can walk to hospital, pharmacy, groceries, dollar store and I live on one level. I do have stairs to get to my garage though! I figure stairs once every couple of days are OK! I would only have to find transport to my Doctor and to get cash. I don’t have a separate freezer either, but I freeze main meals and add fresh veg when I am heating it in the microwave. Friends are the MOST important item in old age, introvert or not. I will look into Alexa, thanks!
We invested in a chair lift when stars down to the basement laundry became difficult. It was one of our best purchases ever and much less expensive than I had assumed it would be! 🤗
I live in a 55+ senior park. I remodeled the interior with my 80 something mother in mind; no upper cabinet in kitchen, pull out trays in lower cabinets, extremely low threshold walk in shower with curtain (easier for wheelchair), bars in shower and by toilet, high toilet, small night lights everywhere, pull up bar by her bed, remote ceiling fan etc etc. what I did for her, I benefit my old age, too. I will be an orphan when she goes. I can’t count on my siblings nor my only nephew (he’s a video game playing hermit living with his parents).
Great video. I'm 71 and having a hard time paying off 2 credit cards on a fixed income. Interest rates are so high...I was going to say 'killing me' but decided that was a BAD choice of words. LOL. Also, may I suggest for your list, to have someone willing to care for your pet should your pet/pets out live you. (this may be on your list further down.) TY for all the wonderful videos.
Credit card rates are really tough. I wonder if your bank would give you a debt consolidation loan at a lower rate? I don't know if they do that, but it would help a lot of people!
if you are in Canada, google Elderdog. It’s a charity that will not only help to re-home your pet if you die or are no longer able to care for it, but also have volunteers who will walk the dog either on a permanent basis or short term if you are ill or recouping from an injury.
I took advantage of consolidation offered by another credit card...very low interest for 18 mths on balance transfers, then i concentrated on paying off in the 18mhts...(interest rates higher after the 18 mth). Depends on amount to target, but helped me get ahead and saved dollars. Did have to pay a fee for the transfer (fee added to the transfer amount), but saved hundreds more than that AND almist all my payments were directly reducing the amount not interest. Keep an eye out for something like that
At the age of 56, I do NOT plan to completely retire. I am geared so much like my dad that he retired at 64 and right at a year after he had to do contract work in order not to go out of his mind or drive mom and I both crazy. Collecting retirement is one thing, not having something to wake up and do during the day is another. Daily golf isn't an option for this guy. Great content as I'm an only child that's an introvert.
I know quite a few people who have not retired and say they never will. I have been in healthcare care in the LTC setting for 24 years. I will gladly retire and do absolutely nothing all day when it's my time. 😂
I am 70 and care for my husband who has dementia. I am a senior orphan so am worried about my remaining years. My parents are gone but I do have siblings that I am close to. I have been “emptying “ our home so it will be easier to move (downsize) when the time comes. I would love to live in a newer senior community with small homes like you. I need to start looking. I love your channel.
you are a lucky person. I will most likely be solo and silver and working into my 80s at this rate. living in the US is difficult for aging people. Most cannot retire unless they have huge pensions or retirement accounts.
I worry about this topic every day of my life because I am over 50, single hard-working career woman with an intellectually disabled daughter who is high functioning but will probably never be able to live by herself. And the support and services in Florida are absolutely horrible and I feel stuck. On top of that, I do not like 99% of my family and respect myself enough to stay away from them all since they are toxic so where can I go to find that community where we can help each other in the later years. Who will take care of her when I am gone? I continue to pray for God to show me. PS: I admire your wisdom and capacity for planning the years ahead and sharing that with us because life and work is taking us so fast that it is very scary we do not take a step back to think about these things and plan for them, and then be at the mercy of whatever and whom ever. The absolute hardest for me has been when I have been in the hospital and have had no one to care for me and my daughter and by the grace of God some people from the church I was attending came to help. But even in churches, it is hard to form such relationship and commitment to really help each other when we need it. Sorry for the long comment.
I feel for You , this is not easy . My adult daughter has mental health issues . I’m so concerned for her for her future as well as my own . She doesn’t live with Me any more , it was dangerous
Jen, you've inspired so many of us to stop, think and prepare! Even young adults are taking your words of wisdom and applying it to their next stage of life - it's all about setting goals and planning the steps to achieve them. Thank you for the reminder.
Best decision we ever made was moving into a garden home in a 55+ community. We downsized over 1,000 sq ft and sold a lot of our unnecessary items. Less maintenance, lower taxes & utilities, and a close group of neighbors that help and support each other. We see children all the time too - contrary to what some might think. We know our neighbors children, grands and pets. We have lots of activities, pot luck dinners, classes and games that are open to all residents. Our cost of home and HOA fees are quite reasonable. Everyone needs to think about what your are saying here in this video - you make excellent points! Overall, it’s wonderful to plan ahead and factor in how you will age in place while still in your 50’s…gives me lots of peace of mind!
I am retired, orphaned and solo. Having experienced the same as you, regarding food, I decided it was worth it for me to invest in a miniature freezer, which stands about four feet tall. It was just delivered recently, and I need help unboxing it, but I’m looking forward to having all that additional freezer space. 🙂
Here is why I always suggest: when your children are young and helpless treat them how you want them to treat you when you are old and helpless. Even then there are no guarantees. No one plans to be ill or injured. Becoming ill and finding out who you can depend on is very enlightening.
Thanks for your video! I have not thought this new life out. My husband passed 1 month ago. My son is 2 hrs away. He is stuck trying to help me get the details together. I don’t want to be this burden. Will lessen the burden by becoming more independent!! Again thanks ❤
Thank you for covering this! I'm 67, single female, introverted full-time RVer and dog-mom of 2 puppers. Have downloaded the Cdn "Age in Place" document - it is gold! Planning ahead so important. Did my will, POA, etc, a few years ago, updating it recently. Thinking about how to live latter quarter of my life.
I live in Belgium, i a coastal town…… i moved here from a big town, two years ago…Most of the people told me i was “nuts”, but i left a 3 store house, and a huge garden for a appartement 100square meters, i downsized for most of my belongings, so i could take care of myself and my belongings , the street i am living in is a shop street, the main street directly from the station to the coast, and provides me with al the shops i need in a walking distance, i am glad i did this, i am so happy to be able to walk at the coast line, to shop for anything i need, Without have to drive for a 10min…. I am not totaly one my one, i have a partner, whom is much younger then i, and he still works, so i am much on my one….. and i am glad i find Your channel…… it gives me a great deal to think about…..i am 69 , greetz from Belgium , Blankenberge
I am alone at 66 and dont own.my own home...so cant trade for living in a complex.. think i may need to get into senoir complex...but right now i have rescue cats in my care...and am working on staying healthy
My Aunt moved into a huge Senior apt complex in Albany. Lots to do, elevators, help buttons, meals downstairs run around $3… close to a park, assisted living staff available… looks ideal to me~ once I can’t mow the yard anymore.
Sounds perfect, except too much slippery snow for me. I live in Michigan and am concerned about winter problems here. Is that facility in an organization/company that has places in other cities? Does it have a name? I’m looking for a place like that. John Knox Village is wonderful but there are only a few and I’m not going to Florida! Do you know if there are others by the same owner in other states? Thank you for your help. I need to start looking for one and sell my house in the next several years.
Thinking ahead! I love it! I've worked in eldercare on & off and it has always astounded me how people well into their 80s and 90s have no plan for the inevitable changes of aging and live in very unmanageable impractical homes and seem to be in complete denial about their abilities/limitations and fail to adapt in the most basic of ways. You seem like a very smart practical person & its very refreshing to witness! I wish you great comfort and enjoyment in your well thought out future!
Jen, first of all, you're so VERY blessed to have your parents and live near, so close, to them. Lost my dad when I was 32, mom at 50. I'm now 73 (!) and don't know how THAT happened! My son wants to try and purchase s small family home for us, but, I'm terrified.. I'm not a kid..hiw much time is left? I should have had a better plan when I i was your age, but, having my two kids and three grandkids stopped me. NO one's going to take care of me. I'm going to finish watching the video now. Rosemarie ❤
Why do people believe that as one gets older they no longer have the right to make their own choices? Our parents likely did not think all of our choices were the best either. Our daughter wants us to move to a large city to be near her. It is about a 90 minute drive. The city has a lot of crime, homeless living on the streets and poorly run city government. Terrible taxes too. Very congested. We live in a beautiful rural community - farm land - wonderful quiet, views, can have our pets, a quiet road. I am husband’s caregiver, 10 years younger. He absolutely does not want to live in the city. She has been nagging us already for several years. I also helped my parents who lived about 90 minutes in the other direction - eventually Mom died and Dad needed more help but he eventually moved closer. He worked his whole life to take care of us - why should he not have choices later in life? I also helped In-laws as they aged - all gone now. My point is that we need to honor our parents. I am on the waiting list for a retirement community not too far from us in a smaller city. That will be an option. Also have things in place, like friends moving to the farm and living on-site in a separate residence. No caregivers but there for support if needed. They are younger by quite a bit. Can do mowing etc. As long as the parents are competent to make their own decisions - they have that right. If they become a danger to self or others - a person could get conservatorship. How much time do we/they have left? Quality of life matters too! I have groceries delivered when needed.
This is just what I am working on at the moment! What a great idea, Jen, to make this video - I'm sure it will help a lot of people. I'm thrilled to have found it and your channel in general. This is so useful.
When cooking for one, adjust the recipe to yield 2-3 servings. Perfect amount of leftovers. Also, the freezer is your friend. Freeze ingredients (not meals) right away that you won't need to use soon. No waste, and handy defrost.
My family generously gave me money for a birthday gift, and I invested in a small chest freezer that is small enough for me to defrost easily, but holds a good bit of food. I love making soups and freezing in sandwich-sized containers, which are stackable and come out to about 2 servings apiece. Great healthy dinner for one! Really saves a lot on money too!
I’m almost 80, and living alone. Things were great, then I had a stroke and heart attack and spent a month in a Seattle hospital. Lucy my best friend is in his mid 60s and he has a very under standing girl friend. I live in a condo town house single level. I feel like I’m alone in the country, but have neighbors on each side. I don’t know them well yet, but will this summer. I can’t walk alone or drive. My friend takes me to Dr,s and therapy appointments. I can do laundry, but fold them up and put in piles on a cedar chest at the end of my bed. My cooking is limited but I get by. Do a little cleaning a little at a time. The gardening is done by the HO’S. I do have a daughter, but she lives almost as far away as possible. Her in Florida and me on the Olympic Peninsula in WA state. I’m trying to do exercise every day.
I am happy to have just found you. It is sooo refreshing seeing videos of other older ladies like myself with NO children. It seems that we are invisible in society and dont matter to society. Thank you. I am your contemporary and probably right at or around your age (GenX - the real GenX age). I also have no children and one surviving parent who lives in South Florida. So I feel I am unprepared in about 4 of your points. However, I appreciate your points and they make sense. I am working on my health as I need to lose about at least 70 pounds to get healthy the way the doctor wants. I am also an intrevert and would love to retire waaayyy out in the middle of nowhere off grid. I am such a nonconforminst - but listening to some of your points, it is food for thought. I love living in the country, but in US, older women are severely ostrasized! So I would rather stay away. Bless you and I look forward to surfing through your other videos.
@@vester7457you DO realize that not everyone has biological family available to them?? Either through geography or family estrangement or their family has all died. Many people have family who are not in a position to help for various legitimate reasons - such as their own physical or mental health issues.
Great video! I'm 74 and in good health, living in a small town north of Seattle. Widowed ar 52, I was inherited enough that I havent had to work since then, and live comfortably on my investments. But, there are no children or family members other than my brother who lives in California. so, I think a lot about my future. I Really enjoy living alone and am not terribly sociable. But, this may have to change and I don't want to wait too long. 🌺
It wakes me up at night. My tummy turns with turmoil. Crazy that a lifetime of giving and caring and helping others and there's no one there when you finally need a ride or an ear.
Single parented 3 boys who have estranged themselves from me. There was no money for retirement investments and there will not be any family help. I expect to die in poverty and alone yet I worked hard and sacrificed everything to raise my sons. I try to make sense of it all but life is not fair so do not expect anything from anyone.
I feel a little like You do . Fortunately I will have a little money but with medical fees and the rising costs not enough .My kids don’t care , one is estranged due to mental health . My family live distances away and wouldn’t care even if close by xxx
I am so sorry about your sons. Are you able to have a roommate in order to have extra cash flow? Or, could you move into a roommate situation? It's important to check references, if you go this route.
You sound defeated and that's painful to read. I don't know where you live but if it's the US there are services/programs for poor people. Sometimes we aren't aware of what is available and miss out. Don't give up. I'm 85 and low income also an elder orphan so I know how hard it is to stay upbeat. But we've given a lot in our lifetimes and hopefully made a difference in the lives of others. So keep that spirit going til the end. You deserve to be content.❤❤
Wow! This was such a timely episode. I too will be an elder orphan and will be joining the silver and solo club in the next 10 years. My list of "must dos / must plan" is getting longer, but I am making progress with the first reality being the realization that I probably work longer than my parents. I look forward to your future videos as we travel this journey together. Best wishes.
If you have 1200 sq ft and three bedrooms, lack of freezer space is no reason not to provide yourself with single serving scratch meals. I was 54 when I semi-retired to a rural spot near a village. One of the ways I continued to save was keeping my food costs low. I'm 72 and a bit less ambitious with cooking big batches of suppers now, but my only bread is my sourdough, I get my minimum daily winter veggies in a lunchtime mug of creamy root veg soup. I make 15-20 servings at a time. Maybe I'm lucky not to regard eating as a highlight of my day. It's sustenance.
Several people have mentioned about home design. I listened to my mother and aunt talk about problems around the house," stairs, getting in and out of a bathtub, wide enough doorways for walkers and wheelchairs, steps up to the house, etc. I researched these concerns and designed my house on 1 level, showers only (large enough for a chair or wheelchair), very slow changes between grass and sideways or porch to inside house. Finding a neat way for electrical wires not to be trip Hazzards. Rounded corners on wood furniture. Little things we don't think about until we need them.
Im about 20 yrs younger than you, married, but no kids but your videos have veen so inspiring and also reassuring that there can be a plan for me too ❤
If Millenium gen you maybe older but not elder. Elder is min 60 yo. Lots of time ahead. But take care of your health and have a good financial plan. Those two are key at your stage.
Love ur channel! At 47 I began to really think through what is needed as we look at retirement years. Arizona, NJ have ' Villages' condos..often several yrs wait to get in. Both parents are passed. My fam is on other coast who hasn't seen me in some time nephews dk me as well as I like. Plan is to move to a state that is retirement friendly & cheaper on most things. Been learning entirely new skills that eventually will supplement my hopefully part time income. With a husband unable to work let's say I became a budget master over the yrs squeezing dollars.. Been w current job going on 6 yrs and I don't have the support I need to move up strictly bc I am too good in my role. So I consider job a dead end where I can focus on building my supplemental income business on the side. Other future home is smaller and I keep that well updated. Once ready plan is to sell that house travel and or get a condo in a village_ community. Has taken me many months of planning and thinking of back up plans. Most of all I know money needs to keep coming in well beyond SSI and any bits I am able to save..
My husband and I are retired and don't have children. We recently moved to a CCRC (Continuous Care Retirement Community) to assure we can get the help we need when we need it. We are in independent living now but advanced care is available. We like the safety and the sense of community here.
The hardest part is when you cant care for yourself and you have to pay for an in home caregiver, or a board and care or whatever. In the U.S/California this can run 7,000.00/month. Not many of us can afford that even with planning.
Good point. In Idaho it is $6,000 per month. Cognitive decline and dementia look like childish and selfish behavior but it is actually a disease. I feel so sad the largest new group of homeless is women over 65. Dementia and depression are serious illnesses. Not everyone has the physical or mental capacity to make decisions.
Jen, your content is well thought out, practical, helpful and insightful. My husband and I are currently trying to decide whether to stay put in our 2 storey, 4 bedroom house or downsize to a bungalow. We live in the greater Toronto area (Ontario, Canada). I’m 67 and he’s 63. I’m retired and he is still working. We’re managing fine right now but realize that at some point down the line we’ll have to downsize. I don’t want my daughter to have the burden of navigating a move for us when we’re in our 80’s. It’s a big decision and we have a grandchild now who we don’t wan to be too far away from. Availability of top quality health care is also a consideration. It sounds as though you’ve landed in a great place - a well thought out relocation for you and your parents. You’re a logical thinker!
Great list! I also gave copies of my final wishes, life insurance, bank accounts, etc to family members who will need to know. So glad you mentioned the Alexa emergency contact bc I have disabled clients that have been saved by that feature.
I’m a widow, getting ready to move in with my mother until I can hopefully find a small place nearby- she is starting to have Dementia. I have three grown married children, grandchildren too- great relationship with all of them. However they live as far as possible from me and each other due to jobs, preference, etc. Boston, Wyoming and Vancouver,BC. I’ll move to WY after spending some time with my Mom. I want to buy a small, flat house, I have a dog and cat and love to garden. I hate leaving where I live but I want easier contact with my family now. Healthcare is important too, I got a gap plan to supplement my Medicare because I don’t want my children to be responsible for my health, which is excellent. I can’t imagine being estranged from my children and it makes me feel terrible for those who are. I will hopefully always work a small part time job.
Last year we just moved my 97 year old mother to an independent living facility as Dad had died and she was in the house all alone. We were lucky to sell her house to a neighbor, and she is in a one bedroom beautiful facility and she gets wonderful dinner daily. Lots of goodies during the day. And this year she just gave up driving (Thank God). I plan on doing the same when the time is right. Love your videos. You voice is very smoothing and relaxing, and esp. seeing your hikes in the woods with music.
I am 64 live alone and think about this all the time. My parents are in their 80's and I keep a close eye on them but there will be nobody for me. I had to have a small surgery last month and they make you bring someone. My mom came with me but what about a few years from now? Who will I bring when I am alone? It rather freaks me out. I have started a serious downsizing. The less I have the better. It is a scary thought to know you will be super alone.
I'm alone and it freaks me out too. I have one friend who takes me home from colonoscopies because they won't let the patient use a taxi. Otherwise I'm on my own.
I won't have anyone to be with me, either if I ever need surgery and I'm 61. For what hospitals charge, they should have a social worker escort and transport a discharged patient within a reason distance who have no one.
Thank you for the wonderful information. I cared for both aging parents and found "gems" like applying velcro to shirts,sweatshirts, pants cut along one side and applied to garment enabled them to dress themselves and maintain independence, raised tiolet seats that merely rest on existing tiolet seat and bidets with warm water allow respect and dignity for self care. Tea kettles that tilt never leaving base that had auto shut off allowed them to boil eggs, tea, hot choc, soup again maintaining their independence to eat or drink when they liked. Lazy susans in cabinets ,bathroom counters and refrigerators aided in choices with a simple spin, tennis balls on toothbrush handles or bike rubber handles with the ability to.insert toothbrush handle also helped a great deal. And instead of depends actual kids diapers in large and xl worked best to prevent spillage out of leg /back areas. These few things enabled dignity, independence
20 years ago, when my parents were 70 - I asked them to move close to me so I could take care of them as they aged. They had an enormous 2 story house that would someday be impractical, and would not be able to drive forever. They laughed at my suggestion. I spent the next 20 years trying to engage them in a discussion about the future - and they continued to put it off. Now they are 90, in poor health, can't drive, can't get up and down stairs, and need help with even the most basic tasks. They live almost 2,000 miles away from me, their only child - and I am not leaving my job, house, and husband to go and take care of them. Every day they call and complain about how hard life is - and every day I am angry with them for putting us all in an impossible situation. Thanks for letting me vent. Please people - plan for your old age. This is a very important video.
They just didn't think they'd live this long. My mom (mid-80s) is fond of saying that. Denial is more than a river in Egypt.
I live overseas and see my sister drive for over an hour to care for our mother. We asked her for years to make plans and now it’s all up to my sister to assist. Oh boy it’s not easy on her. If only 20 yrs ago 😏
@@annesmith6582 What part of "They refused to move" did you not get? It's too late now - my 91 year old father is bedridden and hooked up to machines. He relies on an army of doctors, nurses, specialists, test facilities, home care providers and therapists for his daily care. He is near deaths doorstep! How do you propose I get him from NJ to FL? Shall we take him in an ambulance??? How about of Life Flight helicopter with on board medics??
@@annesmith6582 I guess you missed the part where I said they refused to move.
@@thehappywanderer6469 Thank you for sharing your experience, and for your kind words of wisdom. I'm so sorry you went though this awful thing. That childlike anger and stubbornness you described seem to be a common trait in aging parents... I have heard that very thing from many different people. My mother also has that perverse desire to suffer. Many times I offered to pay for a chair lift - but she refuses. She would rather complain about how hard it is to climb stairs. She starts screaming when I talk about assisted living facilities. Why do people become so punishing as they get old? As I went back and re-read your response, something occurred to me... Maybe (just maybe) your mum chose to live with your brother because you had already given her 15 years of your life. It was a huge sacrifice. Maybe she felt it was time for your brother to step up and do his part. We may never know... but trust me - you are a hero for what you did.
I dislike cooking for one, so I started a small group at my church with five or six other ladies with a one- or two-person household. We get together every couple of months to pick recipes, and in between those meetings we get together and prepare either the meals or assemble the ingredients for the meals. We prepare twelve servings of each recipe, two servings per freezer bag. Then each of us gets one bag of each person's recipe to take home. And we laugh and be silly and share a snack and a beverage when we're done. A few hours' prep and six or seven meals ready to go, plus fellowship - it's a win all around. I'm almost 64, been a widow for over 10 years, and have no children. Sometimes I get lonely, but my life is peaceful and I'd much rather be alone than be with someone who didn't honor who I was created to be.
what a great idea!
That's genius!
I love this!
Amazing, it’s given me ideas. Thank you
Fantastic! You’re the kind of friend and neighbor I’d love to have. I’m very healthy at 72, still run every day (44 years and counting), then walk my pups up and down hills for an hour and a half, am active but in a new community and emotionally isolated. I thought it would be a good idea to move away from my home state of California to Washington state 2 years ago. I’ve regretted it every single day. I’ll take a cue from you; make my own circle of friends. You’re inspiring.
Great content!! I'm a paramedic so I have a few suggestions to make my job easier. There is something called "file of life" or " life file". You complete the form. Which hospital, allergies, brief medical history, list of medications. Your demographics, etc. This paperwork goes in a plastic envelope with a magnet and is kept on your frig. It's amazing how many close relatives do not know this info abt their loved ones. Or a neighbor finds a person down or sick and calls 911 but cant give any of this important information. We paramedics carry life saving medications and can administer them prior to arriving at the hospital. Throw rugs and extention cords would be things I would advise removing as they become trip hazards. Be well.
You sound really afraid of death!
@@anonymousforever interesting. I'm not afraid of death. As a believer in Jesus, I know where I'll be going. I was giving education so when 911 is activated and the people who are expecting some type of help including life saving interventions to show up it is a positive experience for all.
As a paramedic, that was great advice....THANK YOU for caring about us seniors!
Great idea. When I lived in Yukon, Health Dept made kits exactly like this available to anyone free of charge. Included pouch with magnet, too.
@@anonymousforever How do read this practical advice as ‘fear of death’? This video is about how to age in place, this paramedic’s advice totally fits with that theme.
My husband died 2 years ago. My 9 children helped me move from a big house to a 2 bedroom 2 bath condo! My HOA takes care of lawn care and snow removal! I am 78 and in good health. I do worry about the years ahead. Three of my children live near me but all of my children are involved in my life. I am doing well financially, for which I am very grateful. ❤
Nice to have children to help
That’s great!
You are blessed to have such a good life. May you contine to be blessed.❤
I'm planning ahead. My husband and I care for his 101 year old mother. He's 72, I'm 64 - 73 and 65 this year. He has no children, I have two by a previous marriage, who live in South Africa. My husband and I are essentially on our own for our own eldercare. Given our age difference and that women tend to outlive men, the likelihood is that I would be there to take care of him and there would be nobody to take care of me. I've started a petition for a green card for my daughter, who's fighting major hardships in South Africa. One of my sisters, who lives in England, is facing being silver and solo - never married, no children. Our longterm plan is for the three of us to live together.
Glad you have a plan and possible resources. Some of us have reached 80 and have no one. But I am hanging in and doing my best
@@brenda121143 Sending you all my strength, Brenda.
Actually, old people disgust me...not all...but most. I am 71
hope that works out for you but sometimes the plans we hope for can change drastically. My older sister who never married and I planned to live together in my small house in our old. My husband was 17 years older than me so figured he'd go before, which he did 9 years ago. In 2013 when my sister was 59 she was diagnosed with a very aggressive uterine cancer. She was dead in 14 months. So much for our plans. Now I'm 65 alone, no family, no kids, no husband.
Same here, 65 y/old male. I have an Estate Plan and Trust for End of Life, but what if I'm immobilized with Parkinson's? A stroke? MS or ALS? Well, my attorney specializes in Elder Law and we will be reorganizing the Trust for possible long term care. I can't cover all scenarios, but there are some common situations that can be comprehended. I bought a book called, "Who Will Take Care of Me When I'm Old?" by Joy Loverde. She is the leading guru for Elders aging all alone. Here in the USA, there are plenty of horror stories describing the descent into homelessness and Medicaid, including being required to lose all assets to receive medical care. It's another US nightmare the politicians won't fix.
I found it at my library. Thank you for the suggestion!
Thank you for the suggestion. I'll get that book. Regarding politicians in the U. S. A. there's not many who look out for the underdog. They're beholden to the Elites for campaign funds which is what they spend their time working on getting more $$. Us older folks are not on their radar at all. But, we can make our voices heard when we vote.
All the best to you. You sound like you're in a good position. Try to get rid of the what it's in your thinking. I believe we bring into our lives what we focus our thinking on. So stay positive! ❤
Great advice! I was happy to learn that I've hit all the buttons. One thing that I took advantage of when I was younger was a Long Term Care insurance policy. They are pretty pricey these days but I know that I can afford a "facility" if it becomes necessary. Or, it pays for in home care. Also, as an elder orphan (I love that phrase), there is nobody for me to leave my assets to, nor is there anyone to wrap up my affairs. I am leaving all my personal belongings to the animal shelter's thrift store and my attorney will sell my house and distribute the proceeds to various charities and causes. I also recommend that, if you have animal companions, that you make arrangements for their care in your will or trust. Do not let them become a shelter animal. They will be grieving your loss, plus be suffering the indignity of shelter life. If you have arranged with a friend to take Bitsy or Spot after you pass, also leave an appropriate stipend for their care. And as far as "who will care for me?", I leave that to the Universe. I've done the best I can to arrange my affairs and I am trying to pay it forward by helping others while I can. I have to trust that the Universe will somehow provide care for me when needed. Have faith!
Love your idea of leaving things to an animal shelter thrift store - had not thought of that. Any pets I have upon passing are provided for in my will. Should outlive the multiple I currently have, then will only adopt 1 or 2 seniors from shelters if I feel confident to take care of them. I have seen animal companions of elderly suffer terribly because their person could not take proper care of them. These are hard things, but all goes so much better when planned for.
My mom also has a long term care policy and based on her suggestion, I got one also when I was around 60. While it took a bit of work to get mom's policy to begin payouts, we broke even within less than a year. Her policy pays 100% of the cost of her memory care facility monthly costs. If you get a policy, make sure you investigate the memory care aspect. It could be that you can still physically feed yourself, but if you think you're in college when you're 85, it seems like it should count as a disability.
Love your Faith and Trust. I fit the elder orphan category too. Blessed with good health for my age, 85, and also blessed to having loving friends.
❤❤
Have a cell phone with you at ALL times for emergency. My back went out while in bed and my phone was in the kitchen. took 2 1/2 hours to crawl to phone in extreme pain. Also keep in pocket when outside in case fall down
My son bought me an apple watch recently. It connects to my iphone as long as the i phone is somewhere in the house. Last week I fell in the kitchen and couldn't get up. All I had to do was say "Siri call 911". I wear the watch always unless it needs charging. I can also answer phone calls on my watch. Best gift ever!
Same for my mom. She agreed to an Apple Watch after becoming widowed
My mom (in her 70s) has started wearing an apron wit pockets all the time, and keeps her phone there. I like the Apple watch idea even better though!
I bought a small purse with a really long over the shoulder strap. I put my phone in it and wear it to take my garbage totes out to the alley. I've started wearing it around the house after a recent fall.
And please realize, you can set your iPhone to respond to Siri even if it’s not open. Set it up and try, just call out “Siri, find my phone” (as example) and it will ping your phone.
My Alexa called for help when she heard you talking about that feature! My daughter got an email and called me, nice to know it works!
Love it!!
Same thing just happened to me
Yes neighbors do rock. We have a home builder living near us. He called a whole crew to erect a detached garage that my husband planned to build by himself. They did not charge us anything.
Wow...amazing
That is so awesome!
I am 77 and moved to a house in a small community in northern Ohio, a retired nurse educator/supervisor. I have no family but worked until 75. I had 2 dogs and they died. All services in my town I can walk to. I continue to travel internationally and am financially good. I planned early in my 50s for all this. You cover all the topics I thought about, living will etc. Well done! Only problem I have is making myself garden - and about knees - I injured one and had to get it replaced. Worth it! But at the time painful. But worth it! Take care.
.
Maybe you can try raised garden beds.
Please think about another companion pet. Save a life and they will repay you.
@@kellychubaI second that. There's nothing in this world that can compare with the unconditional love a pet gives you.❤
I'm new to your channel and enjoying it. Regarding meals, I've created a very easy plan for husband and myself. I'm disabled and have limited standing / walking time so I reduced my every day tasks by making short cuts. Husband has Parkinson's and no longer maintains the home like he used to. More responsibilities are now mine and the list is growing.
A huge savings of steps and time for me is with meal preparation. I'm diabetic so must eat low carb and requires from scratch cooking. I crock pot a beef roast and whole chicken each week. The broth created become soup or stew meals. We get on the average 3 dinner meals beef, 3 dinner meals chicken. I use the 34 oz glass meal prep containers to divide it up. I keep 2 days worth in refrigerator and remaining I freeze. Each container holds 2 servings. The containers are oven, microwave, freezer safe. This also saves us a lot of money as well. I use a lot of bell pepper and onions so I buy them frozen. We still have a garden.
You sound great. Sorry your husband has Parkinsons. It's a terrible disease. My Mom had it and suffered so much.
God bless you both.
I think a small chest freezer would be better than eating prepared meals, both financially and nutrtionally. My sister lives alone and finally got a small freezer. Now she can take advantage of meat sales and she cooks enough at a time to have extra meals from the freezer when she is tired or not feeling well. The cost of a small freezer will be returned quickly...
So nice to have found you! I am silver and recently solo (husband passed in October ) and orphaned with siblings but no children. These are things that have been crossing my mind a lot lately. I will continue to watch and start getting my life in order. Thank you. 🙏🏽
Good luck!!
Sorry for your loss. Prayers.
@@evabrechtel4321 thank you Eva🙏🏽
Preparing will be your best plan. If you do this you’ll do fine. Best wishes.
I am sorry for your loss.❤
I don't drive, which wasn't a problem when I lived in Seattle, (which used to have a great bus system) but when I moved back to CA to care for my dad, I wondered how I was going to get around. Amazingly, his town had a free bus service for seniors. They'd send a bus to pick you up, take you anywhere in town, and bring you home again. Every Friday, one of the buses went to the nearest city. The driver asked where the riders wanted to go, and was always able to accommodate all requests. My father left me enough money to live practically anywhere in the US, EXCEPT California, and I decided to move to New England. I bought a house in another small town. I am blessed with good health, so I assumed I'd be able to walk or take a cab anywhere I liked. But this town has no cabs. No Uber, No LIFT. We are out in the Boonies. But there's a special bus, just for seniors, that takes us to medical appointments anytime and shopping every Friday. Like the first one, this service is completely free.They only visit one grocery store a week; we don't get a choice, but I'm OK with that. I did not plan ahead about transportation - it was just dumb luck that I ended up in such wonderful towns, It could have been a big problem, though. If you're thinking of relocating, I strongly recommend researching community services before you move.
This is all fine for folks who have "income", caring family/friends etc... Many of us don't have any resource or anyone.
This is true. No resourcesmakes everything hard. I guess you plan for what you can. You consider if there is anything you can put in place that might help.
@@flannerypedley840LOL!
agreed - it can be hard. I have been lucky in some ways, but still worried it's not enough. I'm grateful to Jen for making a succinct list, and suggesting others. That at least gives some goals to work toward.
Establishing relationships could be beneficial for those without family and friends. If you can join free groups that meet locally, gardening or hobby groups meet in local libraries. If you are a shut in with no transportation, call a local church, ask if some one is able to transport you to church. These are ways we can open our lives up to other people, connect. Churches often have senior outreach programs, events and ride share.
@@tinabennett8524If you knew me and my personal issues then your suggestions really don't help atheists, and people with severe arthritis, etc... I've found churches to have the biggest hypocrites and bigots and clique groups that exclude many. I used to garden and do crafts and art when my hands, knees and back weren't severely arthritic. I personally do better in one on one relationships or very small groups of "like minded people". I live in a tax credit senior apartment and we are very restricted in what we are allowed to do like only 2 chairs 1 table and 2 pots on the porch; very limited for holiday decorations; nothing infront of inside windows; limited visitors; etc.......... If you don't own your own home you are regulated to following others rules ( to be submissive) to survive.
I'm 29, probably an odd woman in my community who wants to live alone. like i dont feel the urge to share my life with another person or have a partner. i have predefined goals. I'm stubborn, hardworking while also caring (everyone calls me a hsp which I am) and commmitted to community service. I live with my single aged mother about 55+. We have our share of hardships, two women in the family. She and our far relatives worries about my future but I dont see my life going any other way but my way. I'm figuring out my path in life and getting a glipmse at the long road ahead. I dont know how your video ended up in my feed. I feel it's a blessing. Thanks for sharing your tips and tricks and anecdotes from your life❤🎉 Really appreciate that. Instantly subscribed❤
i look after my mom and carry the responsibilties but sometimes it's becoming tough. as of now i dont have a stable job and my health is in shambles. im definitely going to care about myself more, so i can look after her better.❤ your videos have inspired me❤
Highly sensitive person
You arent living alone tho if you live with your mother. Once she's gone, you might regret not having looked for a partner & being independent. Her company prob stops you feeling lonely or motivated to forge a family of your own.
@@sarahholland2600OR she knows herself more than you, and doesn’t want the same as you for her life. Not every woman dreams of a husband and children, and others trying to make them feel like they’re going to regret their decisions is disrespectful and invasive, especially coming from a stranger. Everybody’s different, and the right thing to do would be to respect that instead of projecting
@@PoissonDemiVide I'm not married, dont have kids & enjoy living alone. The comments section is for expressing & discussing opinions on the content. If you arent happy with that, it's your issue.
i used to be a nurse and just took care of my elderly mother so that she could die at home. My observation, the vast majority of people cannot expect to be cared for by their children. A lot of children only care about their parent's money or see them as a burden. I've seen this more times than i can count. People with children may not be any more secure in old age compared to their childless counterparts.
I know neither of my adult kids will or can take care of Me . They have mental health issues . They are both sad to say takers not givers .
I took care of my own parents for many years because as an adopted child I felt an enormous responsibility to return what they had given me. Now I am alone. My husband died 6 years ago and made sure to turn my only child against me. But my Father above looks after me and has helped me survive this purely EVIL act. Watch out for narcissistic wolves in sheep’s clothing people❣️
Raised 2 daughters on my own and we had a happy family. They got married and now it's as if I barely exist-go figure. Sometimes friends are better than family.
Today … often … the child or children live far away. Nowadays things are fractured .. split apart … we just don’t live in a ‘Mayberry’ world anymore
I completely agree, sad world but then who wants to be taken care of by someone that resents it.
My mom passed from vascular dementia last October. She and my father resisted and refused to change their living circumstances in spite of her decline while the house became unclean and disorderly. Everyone thinks they are going to die peacefully in bed, but that is not reality. The only way I was going to be able to get my mother help would be to have my father legally declared incompetent. I wasn't going to take that step.
So it was a matter of monitoring and being ready. Of course she became malnourished and went to the ER after a fall. I pulled the ER doctor aside and told him that dad is not and cannot take care or her any longer at home. The doctor agreed and admitted her while other arrangements were made.
Part of me is glad that she lived exactly how she wanted to live until she couldn't, but another part of me is terribly sad that that I wasn't able to help her any more than I did.
Such is life.
Miss you so much Mama, but I am glad you are at peace. ❤
I am in my seventies and have multiple myeloma. I am slowly clearing out my home firstly of extra clothes that are not really required, next various ornaments that make dusting much quicker, so as to streamline cleaning, etc. Make everything simple. Rely on the providence of our Eternal Father to whom we are travelling closer to each day. Praise the Lord.
The term for that now is “Swedish Death Cleaning,” based on a bestselling book. You can Google it. Very good actions to take.
When I bought my house in the country, I made sure that I planned ahead: house with no stairs and level yard, a local hospital, medical /dental care, pharmacy, some type of Walmart type general store, a grocery store, and some type of transportation- in my area it is taxi services. There is also a bus system that will take me to nearby towns for a few dollars.
This lady is way better off than me. I am completely alone. I’m one major medical problem away from big issues.
I am so sorry you are in the same position and I am. I am moving my mother and she is 92. We have been trying to downsize for four years, but Health keeps getting in the way. When she’s gone, it will just be me. I have no friends left Looking back they were really friends anyway. I have no siblings no children and my cousins live far away. We don’t really have a relationship anyway . So I have no idea how I’m gonna survive completely alone.completely by myself completely isolated. Now that I’m working hard on bettering my health It’s still very uncertain. I’m very grateful. My mom is as healthy as she is for her age, but I worry about what this move could potentially do to her. But I’m doing this to hopefully be able to keep her out of a home. I will not go into a long-term care facility when my time comes. I thank God forMAID and hope it’s still around when I need it.
Wishing you all the best ❤
I am with you. I have no children and only myself
@@PatagonializardYou're a brave woman. You may not think so but you are. May I suggest you take baby steps to establish relationships with people who live near you. It doesn't take a lot to just reach out and say hello to individuals near you. They may be experiencing the very same things you are and you could change their lives with a simple message.
❤
@@maureenmannion6748 I have been trying to fit into this Community for 25 years and I’m not trying anymore. Maybe I will find someone in the new place we move but I’m done with all of that if I run into people and I meet someone or something that interests me, but I don’t leave the house very much so I don’t see that happening and that’s OK. I’ve been alone my whole life as long as I can remember so it’s just the idea of dying alone I don’t like
@@brendao649 we need to start a group or something for us onlylonlies 🥰
I just stumbled upon you channel. First, thank you! I am just starting my journey as an aging orphan. My husband is much older than me at 83 with health issues. I had to retire early to be his caregiver and our finances are not great. Years of caring for my mom before she passed. All of my family moved to Baltimore for work and housing opportunities last year. So, your channel was exactly what I needed as I begin to prepare for being on my own. I am aware I most likely will live way beyond my hubby of 50 yrs. Joining the growing female widower who's finances are halved upon widowhood. Thank you, I hope we can share our journey. Best - E
I just bought a fold-able grocery cart on Amazon to keep in back of car. When come home with groceries will put them all in cart so make only one trip instead of 5 up my long walkway and into house!!
That’s what I’ve been doing.
I recently saw one of those and they seem like a great idea.
Great idea!
@@mojo7493 I actually rescued one of those from the garbage room on the floor of my building. Someone had thrown it out when there was absolutely nothing wrong with it. I wiped it down and started using it the next day. It’s become invaluable to me!
I’m a retired financial planner and I think your advice is spot on. I retired at age 58, 5 years ago, and took a financial hit that was well worth the benefits I’ve experienced so far.
As a 47 yr old w no kids and a spouse that is 64... this is something I've been thinking a lot about. Thanks!
I married at 47 to 65 year old love of my life
We both purchased LTC when first married. He is now 88 I'm 69, and we are selling
everything and moving into a nice apartment .
Also with all legal documents,.wills etc updated.we try very hard to make these choices with love and a sense of adventure. I do not want to make the mistakes my parents made. They did nothing and I had to give up 7 years to help them ..we have no kids
Consider having pre-need funeral plans in place and a document in a readily accessible spot in your home that provide emergency personnel with the information. Pre-planning could be as simple as cremation and no service, up to planning every detail of a funeral.
I've been thinking about that too. I want to be an organ donor if possible, and/or contribute to medical research, so I'll need to see how cremation / funeral plans work with that. The more you plan now, the less you have to think about it later, eh?
Very important detail since in the US, someone has to pay cash for cremation or funeral if you haven’t prepaid or pre planned this final expense.
@@wcwright44yes. America is a heartless country in many ways. So many good people suffer needlessly because of the corporate Elites run the country. Sorry about the rant!
I took care of my grandpa, in his 80s. I took also care or my mom who passed first, in her 50'. Thank you for planning!
We are a child free couple. Both parents on each side passed over 20 - 45 years ago. We are estranged (blessedly) from our respective siblings. We designed our home for eventual ground floor living & are there now. We saved sufficient funds to hire care givers when the need becomes apparent. I truly think everyone needs to plan for their OLD AGE. We completed our first will a decade ago & recently updated it. There are so many options for delivery of take out or groceries these days; even our COA offers meals on wheels. I do not have a personal physician as I do NOT want to ever go through chemotherapy again. Hoping my partner survives me but so far so good.
Good evening, Fellow Canuck. My situation is a little different than yours. As a widower, I am able to cope as a solo senior. I believe I have most of my bases covered. I'm more of a 'lone wolf'. I rely on very few people. I have a lawyer sister and a doctor. My house is centrally located and paid off and I still drive at 70 yo. Finances are near perfect especially when I convert my RRSP to a RRIF . I don't bother my neighbors and they don't bother me. Great subject. Very timely.
Hi Jenn! Spot on girlfriend! I was caretaker for my mom for over 18 years. My goal when that ended was to move into a small house where everything was easy for settling into older age. 400 sq feet only 2 steps to enter house but easily could put in a ramp. When I had 2 knee replacement surgeries the last two years my house functioned as I had planned. You are so right to have a plan, community connections, and to keep mobile.i do have 2 children, but only one lives near by. But have some lovely friends whose kids feel like mine💕. It is wise to plan ahead!! I plan to age in place. This year I’m planting more perennials in my garden to cut back a bit on the work of my large garden. Enjoy your content
I'm a male, approaching 50, an only child, and thinking about how I'll get by when I'm older. My health is not good despite doing my best to recover it. I love being alone, but I need a close friend or two, even if I rarely see them. I thrive in meaningful, intimate friendships, and don't do well with friendships that devolve to meaningless drivel. I had to cull some unhealthy friendships over the years and got dumped by my last friend of over 10 years. Now I have only a couple casual acquaintances. I'm scared about my future and how I'll get by in the future, even if I only need a little help, here and there.
SAME HERE!! 🙁
Work on evolving your interests that also involve other people and events to locate people with similiar interests and hopefully values.
I’m thinking a gated community like Jen lives in would be ideal. I don’t live in one but I have given it some thought. That seems to bring people together.
My personal opinion is that you need your male friendships and that should be a priority for you. Build your community. That's what women do.
@@ChristineSpringerElaine -- I think I communicate more like a woman though -- face to face, with deeper thoughts and feelings involved. Most guys communicate side-by-side -- while doing some sort of meaningless activity -- and usually with little depth. I can't survive in conversations and relationships that diverge down to drivel.
Hi Jeanne , I found your channel recently and I love your videos, I’m 66 and trying to plan and organize my life the most effective way for the next 15 years, your videos are so helpful.
Regards from Portugal ❤
A very wise planning!
And now it's clear that you're not living alone!
The fact that you don't share your household with someone - this is not "alone".
You've arranged a whole community around you, by choosing your place of living and by the activities you take part in, and your life is full of people. That's great!
(But most people don't live in such conditions...)
Really great to see your channel growing. It's your pragmatic calm style. If you weren't an introvert I would demand that you become my friend ! 😃 x
😅
I’m the same age as you (58) and this has been on my mind a lot. No kids, no spouse; I have 3 siblings but they are all older than me. Great video for people with similar situation
At 58, I bought my retirement home while I was still working.... it gave me a chance to ease into a new environment while I still had a reliable paycheck. Now I'm 62, and the transition to retirement has been seamless. By the time I left the workforce, I had already settled into my town and developed new relationships. I feel like it would have been too much if I had tried to do it all at once. Good luck :)
Yes.
With an inheritance from the sale of my father's farm I was able to purchase a house in a small town that was all on 1 floor, Had A wheelchair accessible Deck and ramp into the house, and Handicapped accessible shower. No I was not handicapped in anyway at the point I bought this house at 59. However in the 6 years since I've been here it has become More important that I have those options. In a person's later years Those decisions Make a huge difference In the quality of your life
As a retired nurse who worked with older adults in the community my advice is to move to a bugalow when you are younger. Prep it ,for later life ie wider doors than usual, wet shower 2nd bedroom with ensuit. It can still look stylish. I have visited so many older people who have established gardens that they love but have to move house becsuse of stairs.
Hi Jen. Thank you. Your channel is amazing and you provide great information without extra annoying fluff.
Sounds like you are living the Senior Shangrilah existence.
I retired 5 years ago. My husband did not want to downsize. He wanted a bigger, newer home. After he passed away I have too much space, too many stairs, and too much junk. I know I need to downsize, but I live with an adult son with autism who is vehemently opposed to moving. I have lots of things to work through...
Great information. As a single 68-year-old I have put most of what you speak of in place already. It gives me peace of mind.
Wow!!!! Your channel is blowing up!!!! I subscribed when you were like 3k just a week ago! Congratulations!!!!🍾🎉🎊
I love watching it grow!
Third video I've seen of yours - you're an INSPIRATION - as someone in the "creative field" in my 30s, the idea of just learning to edit simple videos has had me frozen for what feels like a few years now. I just want to be able to add that skill to my resume. Here YOU ARE learning everything so quickly, AND MONETIZING IT. You should be ridiculously proud of yourself. I don't even know you, havent consumed more than 20 minutes of your content, and I'm already rooting so hard for you!
Wow, thank you!
I'm married with adult kids, and appreciated this video a lot. It's not only single people who should take care of their own needs wisely.
Just found your channel and am on my third "catch up" video. ❤
Creating a Golden Girls lifestyle is an option also. It would be nice to build a team of friends that reciprocate in caring for each other. You could take each other to outpatient surgeries, etc. Household duties could be shared, etc. Of course, men could do this as well.
It sounds like a good idea.
Very refreshing video! I’m 65, retired and living alone for 10+ years.
My retirement home is in a nice suburb, walking distance to grocery stores and major bus route. There’s an urgent care and a big hospital nearby. Lots of restaurants, drug stores,and all major grocery chains on the Main Street. Freeway is also close. I use grocery delivery. I cook from scratch. Uber and Lyft I can get 24/7. I am waiting for AI robot caregiver and AI controlled car to be the thing in near future.
UR a very good speaker, and easy to listen to. I turned 67 today and noticed in the last few weeks my vision is not so sharp, and it is definitely more difficult to keep extra weight off, so I too started walking more, and that definitely helps as does learning by video and listening more than reading. Love from Ontario!
It was nice to compare notes about planning for later🙂. Thank you!
I am 71, retired and living in a medium sized town in Eastern Ont. I chose it specifically for aging. I can walk to hospital, pharmacy, groceries, dollar store and I live on one level. I do have stairs to get to my garage though! I figure stairs once every couple of days are OK! I would only have to find transport to my Doctor and to get cash.
I don’t have a separate freezer either, but I freeze main meals and add fresh veg when I am heating it in the microwave. Friends are the MOST important item in old age, introvert or not.
I will look into Alexa, thanks!
We invested in a chair lift when stars down to the basement laundry became difficult. It was one of our best purchases ever and much less expensive than I had assumed it would be! 🤗
I live in a 55+ senior park. I remodeled the interior with my 80 something mother in mind; no upper cabinet in kitchen, pull out trays in lower cabinets, extremely low threshold walk in shower with curtain (easier for wheelchair), bars in shower and by toilet, high toilet, small night lights everywhere, pull up bar by her bed, remote ceiling fan etc etc. what I did for her, I benefit my old age, too.
I will be an orphan when she goes. I can’t count on my siblings nor my only nephew (he’s a video game playing hermit living with his parents).
You sound so organized. Your place must be wonderful for your Mom.
😊
Subscribed. As a 68 yo, retired, solo, and on a fixed income, I enjoy your channel, your expertise and soothing voice.
Great video. I'm 71 and having a hard time paying off 2 credit cards on a fixed income. Interest rates are so high...I was going to say 'killing me' but decided that was a BAD choice of words. LOL. Also, may I suggest for your list, to have someone willing to care for your pet should your pet/pets out live you. (this may be on your list further down.) TY for all the wonderful videos.
Credit card rates are really tough. I wonder if your bank would give you a debt consolidation loan at a lower rate? I don't know if they do that, but it would help a lot of people!
if you are in Canada, google Elderdog. It’s a charity that will not only help to re-home your pet if you die or are no longer able to care for it, but also have volunteers who will walk the dog either on a permanent basis or short term if you are ill or recouping from an injury.
I took advantage of consolidation offered by another credit card...very low interest for 18 mths on balance transfers, then i concentrated on paying off in the 18mhts...(interest rates higher after the 18 mth). Depends on amount to target, but helped me get ahead and saved dollars. Did have to pay a fee for the transfer (fee added to the transfer amount), but saved hundreds more than that AND almist all my payments were directly reducing the amount not interest. Keep an eye out for something like that
Hello, from a young 62 year old, silver and solo in Australia. Just stumbled across your channel in my feed recently. New subscriber 😊
At the age of 56, I do NOT plan to completely retire. I am geared so much like my dad that he retired at 64 and right at a year after he had to do contract work in order not to go out of his mind or drive mom and I both crazy. Collecting retirement is one thing, not having something to wake up and do during the day is another. Daily golf isn't an option for this guy. Great content as I'm an only child that's an introvert.
Me, not I.
I know quite a few people who have not retired and say they never will. I have been in healthcare care in the LTC setting for 24 years. I will gladly retire and do absolutely nothing all day when it's my time. 😂
@@swiftkarma4436 Many of us can't afford to retire.
I am 70 and care for my husband who has dementia. I am a senior orphan so am worried about my remaining years. My parents are gone but I do have siblings that I am close to. I have been “emptying “ our home so it will be easier to move (downsize) when the time comes. I would love to live in a newer senior community with small homes like you. I need to start looking. I love your channel.
you are a lucky person. I will most likely be solo and silver and working into my 80s at this rate. living in the US is difficult for aging people. Most cannot retire unless they have huge pensions or retirement accounts.
I worry about this topic every day of my life because I am over 50, single hard-working career woman with an intellectually disabled daughter who is high functioning but will probably never be able to live by herself. And the support and services in Florida are absolutely horrible and I feel stuck. On top of that, I do not like 99% of my family and respect myself enough to stay away from them all since they are toxic so where can I go to find that community where we can help each other in the later years. Who will take care of her when I am gone? I continue to pray for God to show me. PS: I admire your wisdom and capacity for planning the years ahead and sharing that with us because life and work is taking us so fast that it is very scary we do not take a step back to think about these things and plan for them, and then be at the mercy of whatever and whom ever. The absolute hardest for me has been when I have been in the hospital and have had no one to care for me and my daughter and by the grace of God some people from the church I was attending came to help. But even in churches, it is hard to form such relationship and commitment to really help each other when we need it. Sorry for the long comment.
Similar circumstances.
.contact The mentor network in your area and see if you would like their services.
I feel for You , this is not easy . My adult daughter has mental health issues . I’m so concerned for her for her future as well as my own .
She doesn’t live with Me any more , it was dangerous
@@OlderWomenRock I am sorry to read this. 😢❤️
Keep on trusting and praying.
Jen, you've inspired so many of us to stop, think and prepare! Even young adults are taking your words of wisdom and applying it to their next stage of life - it's all about setting goals and planning the steps to achieve them. Thank you for the reminder.
Best decision we ever made was moving into a garden home in a 55+ community. We downsized over 1,000 sq ft and sold a lot of our unnecessary items. Less maintenance, lower taxes & utilities, and a close group of neighbors that help and support each other. We see children all the time too - contrary to what some might think. We know our neighbors children, grands and pets. We have lots of activities, pot luck dinners, classes and games that are open to all residents. Our cost of home and HOA fees are quite reasonable. Everyone needs to think about what your are saying here in this video - you make excellent points! Overall, it’s wonderful to plan ahead and factor in how you will age in place while still in your 50’s…gives me lots of peace of mind!
I am retired, orphaned and solo. Having experienced the same as you, regarding food, I decided it was worth it for me to invest in a miniature freezer, which stands about four feet tall. It was just delivered recently, and I need help unboxing it, but I’m looking forward to having all that additional freezer space. 🙂
Here is why I always suggest: when your children are young and helpless treat them how you want them to treat you when you are old and helpless. Even then there are no guarantees. No one plans to be ill or injured. Becoming ill and finding out who you can depend on is very enlightening.
👏🏾👏🏾👏🏾👏🏾 say it louder
Enlightening indeed!
Thanks for your video! I have not thought this new life out. My husband passed 1 month ago. My son is 2 hrs away. He is stuck trying to help me get the details together. I don’t want to be this burden. Will lessen the burden by becoming more independent!! Again thanks ❤
Thank you for covering this! I'm 67, single female, introverted full-time RVer and dog-mom of 2 puppers.
Have downloaded the Cdn "Age in Place" document - it is gold! Planning ahead so important.
Did my will, POA, etc, a few years ago, updating it recently.
Thinking about how to live latter quarter of my life.
Oh my, I could just go on and on about this. It is a very important subject.
I agree xxx
Your vlogs are always informative, thank you.
I live in Belgium, i a coastal town…… i moved here from a big town, two years ago…Most of the people told me i was “nuts”, but i left a 3 store house, and a huge garden for a appartement 100square meters, i downsized for most of my belongings, so i could take care of myself and my belongings , the street i am living in is a shop street, the main street directly from the station to the coast, and provides me with al the shops i need in a walking distance, i am glad i did this, i am so happy to be able to walk at the coast line, to shop for anything i need, Without have to drive for a 10min…. I am not totaly one my one, i have a partner, whom is much younger then i, and he still works, so i am much on my one….. and i am glad i find Your channel…… it gives me a great deal to think about…..i am 69 , greetz from Belgium , Blankenberge
I am alone at 66 and dont own.my own home...so cant trade for living in a complex.. think i may need to get into senoir complex...but right now i have rescue cats in my care...and am working on staying healthy
My Aunt moved into a huge Senior apt complex in Albany. Lots to do, elevators, help buttons, meals downstairs run around $3… close to a park, assisted living staff available… looks ideal to me~ once I can’t mow the yard anymore.
Sounds perfect, except too much slippery snow for me. I live in Michigan and am concerned about winter problems here. Is that facility in an organization/company that has places in other cities? Does it have a name? I’m looking for a place like that. John Knox Village is wonderful but there are only a few and I’m not going to Florida! Do you know if there are others by the same owner in other states? Thank you for your help. I need to start looking for one and sell my house in the next several years.
Thinking ahead! I love it! I've worked in eldercare on & off and it has always astounded me how people well into their 80s and 90s have no plan for the inevitable changes of aging and live in very unmanageable impractical homes and seem to be in complete denial about their abilities/limitations and fail to adapt in the most basic of ways. You seem like a very smart practical person & its very refreshing to witness! I wish you great comfort and enjoyment in your well thought out future!
Jen, first of all, you're so VERY blessed to have your parents and live near, so close, to them. Lost my dad when I was 32, mom at 50. I'm now 73 (!) and don't know how THAT happened! My son wants to try and purchase s small family home for us, but, I'm terrified.. I'm not a kid..hiw much time is left? I should have had a better plan when I i was your age, but, having my two kids and three grandkids stopped me. NO one's going to take care of me. I'm going to finish watching the video now.
Rosemarie ❤
Why do people believe that as one gets older they no longer have the right to make their own choices? Our parents likely did not think all of our choices were the best either. Our daughter wants us to move to a large city to be near her. It is about a 90 minute drive. The city has a lot of crime, homeless living on the streets and poorly run city government. Terrible taxes too. Very congested. We live in a beautiful rural community - farm land - wonderful quiet, views, can have our pets, a quiet road.
I am husband’s caregiver, 10 years younger. He absolutely does not want to live in the city.
She has been nagging us already for several years.
I also helped my parents who lived about 90 minutes in the other direction - eventually Mom died and Dad needed more help but he eventually moved closer. He worked his whole life to take care of us - why should he not have choices later in life? I also helped In-laws as they aged - all gone now.
My point is that we need to honor our parents.
I am on the waiting list for a retirement community not too far from us in a smaller city. That will be an option. Also have things in place, like friends moving to the farm and living on-site in a separate residence. No caregivers but there for support if needed. They are younger by quite a bit. Can do mowing etc.
As long as the parents are competent to make their own decisions - they have that right. If they become a danger to self or others - a person could get conservatorship. How much time do we/they have left? Quality of life matters too!
I have groceries delivered when needed.
I am still happily married, but this tips are helpful for me to consider putting into place now. Thank you. New subscriber.
This is just what I am working on at the moment! What a great idea, Jen, to make this video - I'm sure it will help a lot of people. I'm thrilled to have found it and your channel in general. This is so useful.
When cooking for one, adjust the recipe to yield 2-3 servings. Perfect amount of leftovers. Also, the freezer is your friend. Freeze ingredients (not meals) right away that you won't need to use soon. No waste, and handy defrost.
Thanks for that advice. I need to freeze more.
I’ve used this technique sucessfully
Just learned on TH-cam if you wrap lettuce in foil, it last over a month in refrigerator 😊
My family generously gave me money for a birthday gift, and I invested in a small chest freezer that is small enough for me to defrost easily, but holds a good bit of food. I love making soups and freezing in sandwich-sized containers, which are stackable and come out to about 2 servings apiece. Great healthy dinner for one! Really saves a lot on money too!
or invite neighbors over for a meal here and there
I’m almost 80, and living alone. Things were great, then I had a stroke and heart attack and spent a month in a Seattle hospital. Lucy my best friend is in his mid 60s and he has a very under standing girl friend. I live in a condo town house single level. I feel like I’m alone in the country, but have neighbors on each side. I don’t know them well yet, but will this summer. I can’t walk alone or drive. My friend takes me to Dr,s and therapy appointments. I can do laundry, but fold them up and put in piles on a cedar chest at the end of my bed. My cooking is limited but I get by. Do a little cleaning a little at a time. The gardening is done by the HO’S. I do have a daughter, but she lives almost as far away as possible. Her in Florida and me on the Olympic Peninsula in WA state. I’m trying to do exercise every day.
Call senior citizens center, senior resources, etc.
You live in a beautiful spot! I used to live in Edmonds ❤
Hugs and prayers for you honey. I need a roommate like you so we could both be help to each other. I'll be thinking of you ❤️
I am happy to have just found you. It is sooo refreshing seeing videos of other older ladies like myself with NO children. It seems that we are invisible in society and dont matter to society. Thank you. I am your contemporary and probably right at or around your age (GenX - the real GenX age). I also have no children and one surviving parent who lives in South Florida. So I feel I am unprepared in about 4 of your points. However, I appreciate your points and they make sense. I am working on my health as I need to lose about at least 70 pounds to get healthy the way the doctor wants. I am also an intrevert and would love to retire waaayyy out in the middle of nowhere off grid. I am such a nonconforminst - but listening to some of your points, it is food for thought. I love living in the country, but in US, older women are severely ostrasized! So I would rather stay away. Bless you and I look forward to surfing through your other videos.
Church families are also a godsend to have.
But church family is not the same as a biological family
@@vester7457 you are right; a church family can be better!
@@vester7457you DO realize that not everyone has biological family available to them?? Either through geography or family estrangement or their family has all died. Many people have family who are not in a position to help for various legitimate reasons - such as their own physical or mental health issues.
Unfortunately, church families will not be cleaning up your incontinence 24 hours a day . That is the reality of caring for many elderly
@@ghound-md5ey Such a sweetheart you are ! 😝
Great video! I'm 74 and in good health, living in a small town north of Seattle. Widowed ar 52, I was inherited enough that I havent had to work since then, and live comfortably on my investments. But, there are no children or family members other than my brother who lives in California. so, I think a lot about my future. I Really enjoy living alone and am not terribly sociable. But, this may have to change and I don't want to wait too long. 🌺
This is so depressing to me, as I will be in the same boat. It's weighing on me a lot lately and I'm not even 50 yet. Thank you for sharing.
It wakes me up at night. My tummy turns with turmoil. Crazy that a lifetime of giving and caring and helping others and there's no one there when you finally need a ride or an ear.
v helpful vid.. none of us like to think that there may come a time when we need help to continue living as we do. it's a scary thought.
Great video! I'm 76 and already aging in place but this will help a lot of people.
Single parented 3 boys who have estranged themselves from me. There was no money for retirement investments and there will not be any family help. I expect to die in poverty and alone yet I worked hard and sacrificed everything to raise my sons. I try to make sense of it all but life is not fair so do not expect anything from anyone.
No matter what ppl say, everyone dies alone. You sound like a hard working, earnest person. I hope the best for you.
I feel a little like You do . Fortunately I will have a little money but with medical fees and the rising costs not enough .My kids don’t care , one is estranged due to mental health .
My family live distances away and wouldn’t care even if close by xxx
I am so sorry about your sons. Are you able to have a roommate in order to have extra cash flow? Or, could you move into a roommate situation? It's important to check references, if you go this route.
I’m so sorry that things have turned out like that for you .
You sound defeated and that's painful to read. I don't know where you live but if it's the US there are services/programs for poor people. Sometimes we aren't aware of what is available and miss out.
Don't give up. I'm 85 and low income also an elder orphan so I know how hard it is to stay upbeat. But we've given a lot in our lifetimes and hopefully made a difference in the lives of others. So keep that spirit going til the end. You deserve to be content.❤❤
Wow! This was such a timely episode. I too will be an elder orphan and will be joining the silver and solo club in the next 10 years. My list of "must dos / must plan" is getting longer, but I am making progress with the first reality being the realization that I probably work longer than my parents. I look forward to your future videos as we travel this journey together. Best wishes.
If you have 1200 sq ft and three bedrooms, lack of freezer space is no reason not to provide yourself with single serving scratch meals. I was 54 when I semi-retired to a rural spot near a village. One of the ways I continued to save was keeping my food costs low. I'm 72 and a bit less ambitious with cooking big batches of suppers now, but my only bread is my sourdough, I get my minimum daily winter veggies in a lunchtime mug of creamy root veg soup. I make 15-20 servings at a time. Maybe I'm lucky not to regard eating as a highlight of my day. It's sustenance.
Several people have mentioned about home design. I listened to my mother and aunt talk about problems around the house," stairs, getting in and out of a bathtub, wide enough doorways for walkers and wheelchairs, steps up to the house, etc. I researched these concerns and designed my house on 1 level, showers only (large enough for a chair or wheelchair), very slow changes between grass and sideways or porch to inside house. Finding a neat way for electrical wires not to be trip Hazzards. Rounded corners on wood furniture. Little things we don't think about until we need them.
Thank you for posting this! Such an important thing to consider as we age.
Im about 20 yrs younger than you, married, but no kids but your videos have veen so inspiring and also reassuring that there can be a plan for me too ❤
Thank you for this. I'm an elder millennial and many of us will be in this situation.
If Millenium gen you maybe older but not elder. Elder is min 60 yo. Lots of time ahead. But take care of your health and have a good financial plan. Those two are key at your stage.
You're not an elder!!!
Valuable insights! I'm so glad you've started to share content.
Love ur channel! At 47 I began to really think through what is needed as we look at retirement years. Arizona, NJ have ' Villages' condos..often several yrs wait to get in. Both parents are passed. My fam is on other coast who hasn't seen me in some time nephews dk me as well as I like. Plan is to move to a state that is retirement friendly & cheaper on most things. Been learning entirely new skills that eventually will supplement my hopefully part time income. With a husband unable to work let's say I became a budget master over the yrs squeezing dollars.. Been w current job going on 6 yrs and I don't have the support I need to move up strictly bc I am too good in my role. So I consider job a dead end where I can focus on building my supplemental income business on the side. Other future home is smaller and I keep that well updated. Once ready plan is to sell that house travel and or get a condo in a village_ community. Has taken me many months of planning and thinking of back up plans. Most of all I know money needs to keep coming in well beyond SSI and any bits I am able to save..
My husband and I are retired and don't have children. We recently moved to a CCRC (Continuous Care Retirement Community) to assure we can get the help we need when we need it. We are in independent living now but advanced care is available. We like the safety and the sense of community here.
Great information I think everyone should think no matter what age should constantly Declutter regularly. Whether you are moving are staying. 😊
The hardest part is when you cant care for yourself and you have to pay for an in home caregiver, or a board and care or whatever. In the U.S/California this can run 7,000.00/month. Not many of us can afford that even with planning.
Good point. In Idaho it is $6,000 per month. Cognitive decline and dementia look like childish and selfish behavior but it is actually a disease. I feel so sad the largest new group of homeless is women over 65.
Dementia and depression are serious illnesses.
Not everyone has the physical or mental capacity to make decisions.
True. I'm worried that Social Security may get cut. That would be disastrous for many seniors like me who depend on it.
the robots will be here soon enough - 10-20k per unit and their abilities will just increase over time
This is a great video, I’m a wee bit younger than you but as a solo 🇨🇦 like you with no plans to change that, lots of food for thought! Thank you!
Jen, your content is well thought out, practical, helpful and insightful. My husband and I are currently trying to decide whether to stay put in our 2 storey, 4 bedroom house or downsize to a bungalow. We live in the greater Toronto area (Ontario, Canada). I’m 67 and he’s 63. I’m retired and he is still working. We’re managing fine right now but realize that at some point down the line we’ll have to downsize. I don’t want my daughter to have the burden of navigating a move for us when we’re in our 80’s. It’s a big decision and we have a grandchild now who we don’t wan to be too far away from. Availability of top quality health care is also a consideration. It sounds as though you’ve landed in a great place - a well thought out relocation for you and your parents. You’re a logical thinker!
Great list! I also gave copies of my final wishes, life insurance, bank accounts, etc to family members who will need to know. So glad you mentioned the Alexa emergency contact bc I have disabled clients that have been saved by that feature.
We have to think a bout things like this.I am fighting Cancer at this time.I am glad I live Reily close my daughter and her family.
I'm an introvert American who would love to live where you're describing...❤
I’m a widow, getting ready to move in with my mother until I can hopefully find a small place nearby- she is starting to have Dementia. I have three grown married children, grandchildren too- great relationship with all of them. However they live as far as possible from me and each other due to jobs, preference, etc. Boston, Wyoming and Vancouver,BC. I’ll move to WY after spending some time with my Mom. I want to buy a small, flat house, I have a dog and cat and love to garden. I hate leaving where I live but I want easier contact with my family now. Healthcare is important too, I got a gap plan to supplement my Medicare because I don’t want my children to be responsible for my health, which is excellent. I can’t imagine being estranged from my children and it makes me feel terrible for those who are. I will hopefully always work a small part time job.
Last year we just moved my 97 year old mother to an independent living facility as Dad had died and she was in the house all alone. We were lucky to sell her house to a neighbor, and she is in a one bedroom beautiful facility and she gets wonderful dinner daily. Lots of goodies during the day. And this year she just gave up driving (Thank God). I plan on doing the same when the time is right. Love your videos.
You voice is very smoothing and relaxing, and esp. seeing your hikes in the woods with music.
I am 64 live alone and think about this all the time. My parents are in their 80's and I keep a close eye on them but there will be nobody for me. I had to have a small surgery last month and they make you bring someone. My mom came with me but what about a few years from now? Who will I bring when I am alone? It rather freaks me out.
I have started a serious downsizing. The less I have the better. It is a scary thought to know you will be super alone.
I'm alone and it freaks me out too. I have one friend who takes me home from colonoscopies because they won't let the patient use a taxi. Otherwise I'm on my own.
If you can find an accepting, healthy church community to grow old with, that is a way to meet many needs at your own pace.
I had to check to see if I wrote any of these comments.
Befriend a younger person...I have several and l love hanging out with them.😊
I won't have anyone to be with me, either if I ever need surgery and I'm 61. For what hospitals charge, they should have a social worker escort and transport a discharged patient within a reason distance who have no one.
Thank you for the wonderful information. I cared for both aging parents and found "gems" like applying velcro to shirts,sweatshirts, pants cut along one side and applied to garment enabled them to dress themselves and maintain independence, raised tiolet seats that merely rest on existing tiolet seat and bidets with warm water allow respect and dignity for self care. Tea kettles that tilt never leaving base that had auto shut off allowed them to boil eggs, tea, hot choc, soup again maintaining their independence to eat or drink when they liked. Lazy susans in cabinets ,bathroom counters and refrigerators aided in choices with a simple spin, tennis balls on toothbrush handles or bike rubber handles with the ability to.insert toothbrush handle also helped a great deal. And instead of depends actual kids diapers in large and xl worked best to prevent spillage out of leg /back areas. These few things enabled dignity, independence