When you finally get a job but your husband tells you to quit [Part 3] | K-DOC
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- เผยแพร่เมื่อ 14 ต.ค. 2024
- Part 1: • Husband tries to get w...
Part 2: • Being advised to lose ...
All edits and translations done by Eunjae Lee.
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이웃집 찰스 멕시코 에스메랄다 Air Date: 2021.11.23
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NEVER do this. never put your dreams, aspirations, passions, and all of your hardwork on the back burner just because someone tells you not to pursue them. always have income coming in for yourself. always have your own money too. seriously. -.-
@ハニーベゴニア ASMR - Honey Begonia ASMR in this situation it was very much in her control, the husband was just being controlling and disregarding her feelings
What if one day they divorce and she has no job to support herself and her kids.. It’s best to work now in my opinion because anything can happen in the future. I’m just saying 😂
Girls what to do if my job is comprising with my baby health
EXACTLY
@ハニーベゴニア ASMR - Honey Begonia ASMR just because it isn’t easy, doesn’t mean it is impossible, there is always a way
He pisses me off. He’s an insecure, manipulative man-child. What a shame. I feel for her even more so because I’m also Mexican. And seeing a Mexican woman being so impressive such as herself, despite all the adversity in our own culture, makes me proud. Y luego su esposo aquí siendo bien manipulador y abusivo emocionalmente makes me so mad! Esmeralda, you’re doing great girl! I know it must be so tough, but your husband doesn’t have as much control over you as he makes you think. We’re rooting for you!
It is more then a case of man-child. I have meet a few of thouse but they are irresponsible and imature, in rest most of them are harmless. But in this case it is definitely emotional abuse.
It is true that she is academically prepared but it is such a pity that she is a victim of emotional abuse. It is terrifying the fact that she is alone in a foreign country, is a mother and without the possibility of being financially and emotionally independent at the mercy of her husband. This is financial control and emotional control that screams abuse.
All the sings of emotional abuse are there: manipulation by trying to deviating her attention of the main subject, passive agresive atitudine, to buy presents or trying to promise something as a form of bargain in exchange for what he wants, reminding her of her role as a mother and reducing her personality to only this facet of her life, stoping her to achieve her goals and desires etc.
The man is a walking red flag!
Lol, you just resort to childish name-calling to belittle men, when you don't get your way. Can't blame y'all tho, the only thing you can do is bich & moan, when you have no power.
Yo pensaba lo mismo!
He does. He convinced her to pass on a potentially amazing opportunity. She’s going to regret that decision and resent him. And I was so happy for her….
He puts her down, teases her, strokes her head like a puppy, then holds her back from a wonderful job opportunity. I suspect he is jealous of her, insecure and manipulative. You can tell the women on the panel were not lost on his sour behaviour.
Esmeralda I wish for you only the best in life. 💐
I jumped for joy when my wife got a job that paid 3 times better than my job. All I saw was our financial hardships were finally over. His reaction was disappointing. They've been struggling for so long.
Firsty, I want to say congratulations to you and your wife! That 's great that she got the job! And I agree, Ismelda's husband acted so rdiculously when he heard that she got the job.
@@juratory8876 Thankyou.
Everyone is forgetting about the child they have.
@@toidIllorTAmI I mean, she can attend daycare after school. They’re struggling so she does need to work.
@@bloodbabe.2226 I get it, I was a child with busy parents but with them being so busy I became really lonely. In a child development perspective, I get why the dad doesn't want her to work but they are struggling and the mom is soooo bored at home. Hopefully she can get a stay at home job. That would be perfect.
I hope she took the job. It seems the husband doesn't want to be burdened with childcare while she is working full-time. Making an income and raising kids is a job for both parents and those are interchangeable, hope he realizes that.
I think he "played" her to stay home for 1-2 yrs; the make over + trip was to pacify her + dissuade her from
working, not because he was a supportive husband.
LMAO that's what I thought too the reason why smh
As a Mexican woman I feel so proud for her, she has a degree and knows how to speak 4 languages!! 😭💗✨✨ She's truly an inspiration.
This proves that a woman like her, who emigrated because of international marriage, can also approach her dreams.
I read 'Kim Jiyoung, Born in 1982' and it seems like Korean males dislike to bring opportunities to the married ladies, they often have to abandon their lives and focus on children.
I hope the husband could put in her shoes and realize the roles can be inverted. Mothers have dreams and although it's important to care about their daughter, this might be a source of joy in a totally different country.
If the husband can feed the family , why not?. Her husband recognise her hard work at home thats definitely keep her comport able. , where many men don't appreciate their wives hard work at home.
@@upahtv and ? Because he does the bare minimum we should give him a prize. And womens aspiration is not to be a housewife.
@@ayatahery1427 Not to mention that if the husband break with her and she got no job things get hard.
@@upahtv Hmmm... Funny how men like you complain when women work outside home, and also when women don't work outside home.
I understand in a child development type of way. But still, she needs something. She doesn't like just sitting at home, husband needs to offer more if he doesn't want her to work.
Selfish husband indeed. Go to work, girl. Stand on your own feet. The job will help you to focus on yourself and also occupy your time. Build your confidence!
I love this comment ❤❤❤
Ur stupid lol, in asian culture the husband prefer to be the one to work. They have enough money, working is not nesscaily, stfu and learn asian culture before u complain.
@@CoolNumber1 which Asian culture are you, in South Korea and in a lot of other Asian countries, a lot of married women also work to help financially. Money is never enough when it come to family especially in this pandemic. This dude just want traditional wife who do all the house chores and taking care of the kids. All of my female relatives in my family works, even though their husband has enough moneys to take care of them, they don’t want to be dependent to their husband, and their husband is pretty happy because all of their money goes to their bank and kid because their wife doesn’t need their money. I don’t get some men who prefer if their wife become housewife especially when most of the time they complain about their wife doing nothing all day. Yeah it’s not wrong to become a housewife, but if she actually want to work, I don’t see any reason to stop her.
8:48 Wow, he’s shameless. So, after he brings her to get her hair done he than tells her once again to wait. 9:15 “Wow, her husband... That was mature of him.” No it wasn’t, it was far from it... he’s controlling and manipulative. 😕
He's manipulating her because he can. She has no confidence because she's very overweight.
She also knows that if the marriage ends then she is back on a plane to her home country. That gives him power over her.
She needs to lose weight and she needs to get a green card that doesn't rely on her being married. Only then will she gain the confidence to make her own decisions.
yep manipulative mentally abusing her and she does not even know it
@Ha Ya
People who are overweight and believe no one else would want them lack confidence. I suppose it's possible for someone to be fat and have confidence but it's rare. If she lost weight and believed other people would want her and desire her then her confidence would come back.
Do slim, pretty girls get attention or do fat, ugly girls get attention, you tell me? If you have gone through school you should know.
@@paulidson1483On top of that, he knows very well that she’s insecure about her weight and comments about it like saying how thin she used to be in their photos before marriage. It seems like banter because she’s also giving him some comments about his looks as a response but really it shows that he’s complicit in her low self esteem.
I've noticed a strange common thread amongst several episodes of this show. Many of the older, Korean husbands are older than some of their foreign wives. And many times (NOT ALWAYS) I've noticed a lot of manipulative and emotionally abusive behaviors. It's really sad to see because many of these women are younger than their husbands and have to deal with language barriers and isolation in a foreign country. Additionally, they are automatically expected to be nothing more than housewives with no other obligations or aspirations of their own. And whenever the wives decide to stand up for themselves, set boundaries, or become upset they are baited by gifts, a simple date and a crumb of affection.
AND ON TOP OF IT ALL the hosts of the show are so overly optimistic and blind to the unhealthy dynamic.
About the age, it's not exclusive of Korean men. But the thing is, when you a foreigner you're literally dependent on your husband. The woman doesn't have family or long term friends, so she's completely vulnerable. And with a child, is a lot worse. All these circumstances, help to these guys become more and more abusive. They are literally "housemaids and sexual servants" for them and don't have nobody to help them on daily basis.
I was literally thinking the same thing.
@@evalinacesarcassule5097 yes, unfortunately 😥
The hosts aren't blind. Everyone in Korea knows the score. These Korean men aren't attracted to Korean women who are nowadays more focussed on their careers and have a desire for more equality and independence from their husbands. And Korean women aren't keen to marry these old school, older men.
Hence these men seek wives from abroad - particularly from countries that are perceived to be poorer and offer lower wages, less opportunity etc. And also where the women are more "traditional" and furthermore these men attract women from these countries who are from rural areas or are less educated, and their families have less money - making marriage to someone from Korea attractive even though the man is a fair bit older and not that attractive physically. You don't find wealthy young women from the Philippines or Mexico or Vietnam marrying these men.
The hosts keep it light and optimistic because that's good for the show. That makes viewers feel more comfortable obviously.
Go to other developed countries and you'll see the same dynamic of older men married to younger women from developing or poorer countries, where the husbands have a lot of control and the women submit to and pander to their husband's wishes. Some of those marriages don't last that long though and the women find someone else after obtaining citizenship and language skills or jobs.
In Korean culture, traditionally husbands should be older than wives, but there is considered to be a respectable age gap of say 5~8 years. A man marrying a woman more than 10 years younger is looked upon quite unfavorably. And 15~20 years younger is rather scandalous and unseemly.
Nowadays though, it's become more common for couples to be of quite similar age, and more acceptable even for the man to be younger by a few years or even up to 5 years younger.
Most of these older Korean men you see are kind of the "leftovers" and those who left it too late (you're supposed to marry by a certain age; if you miss that you become unmarriable). Since they want a younger woman, they have to look abroad as young women in Korea still have some choices left to them whilst they're still in "good marriage age range".
It's sad the wife allowed her husband to manipulate her. The ending makes it seem like he has convinced her to say no to the job offer. I hope that is not the case as she has sent out hundreds of resumes and finally got a job offer. Korean companies can be very biased against foreigners and married women with children. Don't know when her next opportunity will be and I think her husband is selfish and manipulative using their child to hold her down. I feel sad and pity for her if she is unable to stand up for her dreams and needs.
I mean her husband pay for everything... as a husband who pay for my wife everything, I tend to be controlling because it's my money. Some wife are ungrateful and would spend all their husband's income, so if the husband is not control, then all the money would be gone since the wife spend everything. I think it's also depend on the wife, those wife who knows how to spend the money wisely would be fine, but those spoiled wife who spend money on luxury stuff like a gold digger, would most likely trigger the husband to be more controlling.
@@CoolNumber1 so control your money. Not your wife. Just because she’s using your money doesn’t mean you get to decide what she does in her everyday life.
@@avocadotoast0113 Nah ur stupid read carefully before u comment. I said depend on the wife, if she has gold digger attitude, imma control.
@@doandroidsdream1748 ur stupid read the comment, I said depend on the wife whether she is gold digger or not. Cant believe u don't read comment, so dumb.
@@CoolNumber1 your dump yourself. She should spent her ‘husbands’ money. She shouldn’t have to wait for a nice haircut only when her husband wants to manipulate her. She should be able to work and get her own money and spent all her money however she wants. Now instead she has to stay home to take care of everybody and have her husband complaining when she wants to do something nice for herself. I’m sure you are only happy with your ‘wife’ if she doesn’t spent ‘your’ money on anything you don’t think is necessary though she needs it. She must be very unhappy Lol
I'm glad she stood up to him!
She did but I think based on the ending, she didn't start the job.
She ain't stand up to sh't , she ain't no independent woman. her man run her life
She was manipulated to give up the job by a trip to the salon and beach and a meal (that she cooked). SAD!
With her studies + speaking various languages ( I saw she's a computational engineer) she could easily find a job and a place to live in Europe, especially in Nordic countries/Germany
Shes a mexican computational engineer acting like a child just to please a korean older man? Lord, never
this is what most men do, and then complain that the wife isn’t working and then leads to “well the husband is working so the wife can do housework” when the wife didn’t wanna do the housework TO BEGIN WITH
THIS. It's not the 1950s anymore, ffs. Most women around the world are able to get jobs and have an income independent of their husband's.
pretty certain most families can't afford to have only one parent working, kids are expensive.
@@jotr.9786 literally! which is why I, a woman, do not expect to be at home, blessed those with husbands that can let their wife stay at home, but I see working and a career in my future because on average, both parents need to be working 😂
The problem is- even though most women work full time, THEY ARE STILL DOING THE HOUSEWORK. It is almost NEVER a case of "oh I work so I'm not a housewife, I work so I have freedom-" the woman still does every single housework job and childcare, BUT WORKS FULL TIME ON TOP OF IT... The majority of relationships with men are just not worth it.
@@kloewe6069 and thats why the birth rate is decreasing tremendously, women are realising they dont want to do triple journey anymore. You cant be a housewife 'cause you can't afford to have only one parent working, everything is so expensive, you can't work 8hours a day and still manage to do all the housework alone 'cause men dont help with it, you cant do a childcare properly when you have to work and ALSO do the housework. In a couple years this will be a huge problem (japanese are already struggling with ageing population), and thats not the women fault.
It is sad to see how they normalize that relationship, the husband does not respect her and she lacks more security to take her place, she is very submissive and insecure, if she continues like this she will only be the husband's puppet.
That's because it IS normal in many patriarchal countries. Old school Koreans think like that: a wife's job is to look after the children and her husband and the home. Wives are expected to submit to the husbands' wishes. And a "good" husband is a man who has a job and income that supports his family. His duties don't include childcare duties or housework etc.
Korea ain't no women's paradise folks! Used to be a lot worse though - for example, domestic violence was more common and condoned, women treated much more unfairly in the workplace and sexual harassment more common etc.
@@SY-ok2dq but just because it's considered "normal" does not make it ok. This is why we have discussions to allow movement in human rights to be improved. Every new generation is more and more open minded than the last so Korea is slowly developing in social issues.
@@animecookies8784 I never said it was OK!!! Please point out where I said that I found this acceptable.
I would personally never ever accept such a marital situation. But others DO accept it. Nothing I can do about that no matter how much I disapprove.
I merely explained the cultural background and norms. It's a bit like explaining to foreign women traveling in very conservative Muslim nations to wear clothing appropriate to the region - so no spaghetti strap tank tops, short shorts or skirts etc.
@@animecookies8784 Well it won't help when women continue to marry controlling men who restrict freedom, such as this guy. She should put her foot down. How's anything going to change in her situation when she always allows her husband to have his way and persuade her to give up what she wants.
BTW there are always anomalies and exceptions to the changing generations that are becoming more liberal minded. Didn't you know that there's a growing group of men in their 30s or so who are hostile to feminism and attempts to equalize rights anf opportunities for women in Korea?
And you can find in any developed country a small group of right wing types, such as neo-Nazis and similar groups even in countries famous for progressive ideas and protection of women's/minorities rights such as the Nordic nations. Do they represent all young men and women? No. But they exist. Just because times have improved doesn't mean everyone goes along with that.
it’s amazing that she persevered with the job search, and it paid off! having her resume in three languages, and sending 100-200 applications is proof of this. but it’s disappointing how her husband does not recognise this, instead choosing to dismiss his wife’s effort. human beings are really selfish…
I feel like the husband knows he's gonna have to deal with the kid (starting school like he said) a lot more now if the wife starts working full time... At least that's how it came out. It sounded selfish. If his intentions were good then he's a shit communicator because he just came off as controlling. Let the woman decide for herself if a full time job at a korean company is too much for her to handle.
4:44 Cleary the husband isn’t supportive at all and wants her to remain a housewife. When she’s asks him why can’t she start working tmrw, he has no answers and storms off. 😒😞
She got a job after sending out 200 applications and this 'husband' says no?? Seriously WTF? This is just manipulation and gaslighting- and at it's worst, a form of financial abuse. He doesn't want her to be earning money for the family (especially if it's in a better job then him). For someone like her- highly educated, multi-lingual etc. she could live & work in Korea without him. Also, having two incomes would be so much better for the family. He is shameless and doesn't;t want to pick up the extra work that comes with 2 working parents- he wants his needs met but not hers. Tragic!! Also, the job sounded amazing and she could have easily worked up the ranks there.
I don't think that's entirely his reasoning. Traditionally in Korea, women are the homemakers and are supposed to devote their time to taking care of the kids.
That said, it is now the norm for both parents to work in a couple situation even after the birth of a child, where possible. Koreans these days feel like they need both incomes to save a little, and with insecurities about jobs and the economy and future, they feel like both partners need to keep earning income for as long as they can. So it's unusual that the wife did not have a job and continue to work until she gave birth.
I'm not sure how good the wife's Korean is - her writing skills and so on - or her English skills (all she did was say a few basic sentences in heavily accented English). And I don't know how transferable her job skills are to Korea. So it's hard to simply say that she could work in Korea without him. It seems to me she was offered that job mainly because that company is very interested in getting into the Mexican market, and secondly because she speaks Spanish and they have markets in Latin and South America, as well as some English. So her appeal to employers is mainly those 2 points mentioned.
Maybe the husband is totally clueless about the job opportunities available to his wife. But he really should know better. Job candidates need to be young in Korea. Age discrimination is real, and Koreans get forced to retire relatively early (late 40s~50s) compared to Western countries. Everyone knows that. And women have fewer opportunities and more challenges in the workplace. She should have taken that job offer while she had it. But I doubt she'd "easily work her way up the ranks." It's just not like that in Korea, especially for women.
Regarding the "extra work" for the husband if she works - I believe that his mother would wind up doing that. She already helps out. I doubt he would do it. Korea is still very patriarchal and women are automatically expected to do the housework, cooking etc.
@@SY-ok2dq your comments sound outdated. The guy seems too uptight and patriarchal even for koreans in their late 30s.
@@SangAoooSangA Well he's not like your average man from Seoul or other big city.
And that's why he didn't get married to a Korean, but instead to a foreigner from Mexico.
It's the same thing that you see in Anglo/Western countries such as the U.S., U.K., Australia, where men from that country (usually white/European descent) marry foreign women from less developed/less wealthy countries. Usually the men are quite a bit older than the brides, and are in their 40s, 50s+. These men are often a lot more conservative in their ideas about marriage and the wife's role, more old fashioned than the norm, controlling, etc. Hence they aren't interested in women from their own country, or they've been rejected by women from their country (divorced, or simply faced a lot of rejection), especially as they often seek a young woman - but young women in their country have no interest in men of their older age and unattractive personalities.
@@SY-ok2dq yes you’re absolutely right on many of your points. I just think in that job she was succesful in, she could’ve got a good rank but I do understand that climbing that ladder would be incredibly difficult and not at all a sure thing. And yes life would props get very difficult for her working full time AND looking after baby/household. She’d be very stressed. But maybe fulfilled- I just feel so bad for her, she looked incredibly depressed. I hope her situation has gotten better 🤞🏽
@@SY-ok2dq Again, I agree with you re:men marrying women from less wealthy countries. I’m from Australia and that definitely happens where men marry women from thailand & Phillipines. It is very difficult for them to find a partner in their home country especially if they themselves are not finically well off or lonely but someone from overseas are trying to better their lives and look after their families back home. It’s seen as a win win- sometimes it is but other times can be very isolating for the foreign partner. This situation is just so sad
Him telling her not to work is probably so that he can remain in control. If he has financial control it makes it easier to keep her from leaving cause he knows she doesn't have any options besides him if he's insecure about that possibility happening . He might have a strong desire to feel needed and her working might take that away also. They really need to address what ever the issues are for the marriage to remain successful and happy. You should never have to give up on dreams to make a partner happy. It goes both ways. work together for the betterment of the family.
I can't even imagine my boyfriend telling me not to work. Or being so manipulative about my life.
Here in Spain it can be consider as abuse. You even can report that to police.
Esperalda please don't let that old minded man to control your life.
Boyfriend and husband are 2 different things.
being allowed to sue ur bf/husband for TELLING u not to work is government overreach lol
Sometimes it is not cost effective to have the mother work, if you end up paying someone to look after the kid then the money earnt goes to pay the child carer.
it might just be that he doesn't think it's worth it for her to work, especially if schools are closed for covid and they would have to pay someone full time to look after the daughter.
@@paulidson1483 He can quit his job is he's so worried.
I love that
Same husband that will shame her a few years later for "doing nothing all day at home". Sad.
It's crazy when a man who found you having a life before working and hustling, finally decides that you shouldn't work to satisfy his selfish, egotistical and Narcissistic behavior. Women need to love themselves and walk away from such madness. It's better to be single and living in peace than married in depression. I feel this Korean show tries to glorify such unhealthy behavior from men who buy gifts for his wife after abusing her. Such behavior should be addressed seriously rather than sugarcoating the situation.
It is extremely disappointing when even the female host praise the self-centered husband for destroying his
wife's dream. It is a sad commentary on Korean Society, when even Korean women enables + encourages such regressive behavior.
For me, it is more about the sense of achievement that come with your own, salaried job; your own independence,
your own money, to spend as you wish.
It will be good for her self-esteem. She might also lose weight. I believe it's good for a woman to earn an income. The husband is very insecure.
Yo, y u gotta bring up weight ?
@@Cxs1a3 she wanted to, look at the previous videos, she also has class 3 obesity presumably in what South Korea thinks is class 3 but she wanted to do it anyways to become more healthier
I agree. Good for her self esteem. And good motivation to take better care of herself and to want to be healthier. It’s not about loosing weight. That is just a result of being happier and healthier.
Had she taken this job, she would've been out walking a lot to get to work or public transport etc. she would've started feeling more confident in herself, she would've been around other people and stimulating her mind on a daily basis. This would've made her more incline to take care of herself. But her husband has put a stop to that potential. Now, she'll have to stay at home most for the day sitting around. When she was in the bedroom, she looked seriously depressed. This is an intelligent woman who wants to work hard but is stuck in the humdrum of the domesticity. She must be going stir crazy.
Hard to get out of a rut and she's been doing everything to better her life and it got ripped away from her. The husband is controlling and selfish. He probably has been loving the fact that she sent out 200 + applications and got rejected. And when she finally landed a good job (not easy to do in most countries but especially S. Korea)- he stopped her.
Girl please I hope you took the job. South Korea has crazy workhours. But you just stick to the 9 to 5 workhours. They said yes to you knowing you are married and have kids. They really must see you are valuable to them. Your husband shouldn’t complain and step up in taking care of the kids together. Those commentators say they understand the husband and say he is nice. Your husband is being selfish. You need to step up for yourself and make a parenting together plan. Don’t fall for the haircut. You can pay your own hair and nail appointments as often as you want with this job girl. And provide fir you kid. Go for it
She listened to her damn husband and refused it. I wanna cry. Why do men do that like why
we all know why he wanted her wife to get it a job with flexible hours. the society’s brain is too hard wired that moms should always do the most part in child care. that’s bull shit.
You did the child together. There’s no way child care is only mom’s responsibility
The wife should be clear in what she wants. She should never let a man determine her future. Wheter it is her husband or father.
@@jamiefooddreamer6381 She's being manipulated - I would think it would be very difficult to see get out of that when you are isolated and in a foreign country. But I agree- after 200 applications - she landed that job (and quite possibly could have been in charge of a department) and she gave it away. Even here in Australia- a job like that would be snapped up if offered- and in Korea the job market is so much harder to break in to. I feel so sorry for her. This is just a very sad outcome for her and her child.
Yep I agree wholeheartedly. He wants her to be at home 24-7 to look after the child (& him) so he doesn't have go pick up any of the additional home-duties that would come with two working parents. I mean, what else can you call it but 'abuse'- doesn't he want to better their financial situation?? He'll give that up to keep his slave, oops, I mean 'wife' at home. Appalling! I hope she reads these comments and gets the strength to stand up to him.
@@bagnathmari2282 Thats is soo true. I wish someone around her would tell her that her marrige is toxic. Very sad indeed.
If the man wasn't working and he was looking after the kid you lot would be saying he's lazy and he needs to get a job, you would be saying he isn't contributing and his wife is paying for everything.
You can't have it both ways.
SELFISH HUSBAND! SHE BRIBES HER BY GOING TO THE SALON AND HAVING A TRIP JUST TO SAY THAT SHE NEEDS TO WAIT.
I agree- landing a job in S.Korea is no easy feat. The bosses could see her worth and so does her husband that's why he doesn't want her to have her own career. SO he manipulated her to not take the job. I Feel so sorry for her- I hope she finds her strength if for nothing else but her child. She looks very sad.
woaah designing contact lenses?! that's so cool!
also, of she lets go of this work now and wait for 2 years (as per what her husband said), it will be much harder to find a job and the company may not accept her again. if what he's worried of is that no one will be left for their child, they can always ask help from relatives or hire a nanny
wow head of sales for all spanish speaking countries is huge! i cannot believe the husband would be against it
Name of song at 9:30 is a cover of "Quando, Quando, Quando" by Michael Buble (Written by Italian composers Tony Renis and Lyrics by Alberto Testa on 1962).
Sad :( I really wanted her to go for that job. I find it strange that they didn't talk more in depth about this topic of her finding a job before she got one.
They seem to have very poor communication between them. Didn't she tell him about the job interview beforehand? There was always a chance that she gets the job! 🙄 He's not supportive at all, even if he says he cares about her well-being. This will tremendously help in building her up.
I'm glad she didn't, because otherwise she wouldn't go to the interview in the first place. I heard once a old man saying that" when one person agree to make something with you, this person will do what is best for her/him" and that's a fact especially when is a relationship. She's foreigner, she's totally isolated from her world/family and friends and have a child (people tend to vanish when a woman becomes a mother)... she's extremely vulnerable and depends totally of him. Any man will do what this guy is doing because all of that. He's in total power of her!
She said she spoke 4 languages. There’s English, Korean and Spanish but I wonder what the fourth language is.
I would run if I were in her place. What kind of a man is he. Never let anyone dictate your decisions when there is nothing wrong with wanting a job.
6:30 Wow so glad she was able to get her hair all done, she looks amazing. 💗💗💗💗
When they went on a trip after he took her to do her hair, I knew he was gonna persuade her to let go of her job opportunity. Sly guy
She is great, I would never want to get married to the korean man...
Ella se ve una buena mujer y piensa en el futuro trabajar fuertemente como toda una latina lo que si no me parece que el quiera estancar sus sueños , chica no te dejes tu puedes salir adelante sos re hermosa 🤩 ten fuerza y nunca escuches a las personas que quieren parar tus sueños !
Say bye bye to him.
Never trust a man like him. My father also told my mother to quit her job to take care of us and start working after we grew up but now I am 21 and my older brother is 23 years old and she couldn't go back to the labor market. Companies nowadays prefer to hire young people. Never give up on your dreams just for a man or your kids. You can take care of your family while you work and the father should also take care of the kids. I'm sick of this situation.. stop pressuring mothers to quit their jobs and become housewives.
This is commonly seen in Korean marriages and it’s clearly smth that shouldn’t be normalized- I believe if both men and women take turns taking care of home responsibilities and working the marriage should work obviously depending on the individuals
Let’s go to a muddy beach. Seams like fun
He should be proud for her that she got a job. So what if the job hour is 9a-6p. She's making the money 💰
I felt the same when my (Korean) husband don’t want me to work too because of our young children, sometimes we need to sacrifice ourselves for the sake of our children, our family and our marriage. For me it's fine as long as your partner provides you a comfortable life. Sometimes happiness is not about having a successful career, for some having a blissful marriage and harmonious family makes them happy and their top priority. After all the life of a wife is not easy, even if you have a job u still have to do the house chores, serving your husband and taking care of children and failure to do so might ignite conflicts or chaos that might lead to divorce. That's why not all women are willing to sacrifice their career for marriage 🙂. For me she's still blessed with her husband ✌️
Esmeralda wants to work and pursue her dreams. Taking care of children and doing the house chores should be shared responsibilities. If you are happy as a housewife that's okay and that's your decision but many women suffer because they're not able to work and be financially independent. Also what will you do if your husband cheats on you or loses his job? If you are financially dependent on him you can't divorce. My mother also thought making that sacrifice is worthwhile and for the sake of her children but that decision only brought her unhappiness and unpleasant moments and she still can't get divorced because she allowed my father to manipulate her to quit her job. Unless you want to become a slave I don't recommend relying on your husband's income and ability to provide for the family.
A husband should be happy for hes wife, not been a rude, disrespecting a***. i hope this wonderful, sucessfull woman dont let her husband push her down from what she wanna do.
NEVER LISTEN TO YOUR PARTNERS IF THEY WANNA PUSH U FROM WHATCHA WANNA DO! What a rude husband, eww.
Sorry but sometimes these Korean shows get it sooooo wrong- how is he being mature when he manipulated her to NOT to take the job? He was only being nice to her in front of the cameras, Surely they themselves know how hard the job market is in Korea- even for Koreans who are educated. Now you have a migrant mother who has landed a pretty good job and HE is the mature one????? Maybe if he actually said he was proud of her for getting the job and that they would make it work- Maybe THAT would've been actual mature of him. Sorry K-DOC but this ending commentary was not right at all!!
It's like every other conservative Asian society it's amazing how they can sugar coat everything, behind the respectful and healthy facade it's all the same
The Korean female host praised the scheming, selfish husband for manipulating his wife, for crushing his
wife's dream. It is quite disheartening when a woman helps a male chauvinist keep another woman down.
Absolutely mortified at this husband’s behavior!
En mi experiencia personal, mi madre trabajo muy duro toda su vida y cuando yo estaba pequeña tenía que dejarme solo con mi hermano o con mi abuela para poder ir a trabajar, es un grande sacrificio ser madre y trabajar a la vez.
Cuando tuve 3 años tuve un accidente cuando me cuidaban mis abuelos, tenían que llevarme de inmediato al medico pero solo estaban mis abuelos y mi hermano pequeño, mi abuelo y mi hermano fueron hasta la oficina de mi madre, porque no teníamos teléfono de casa y ella salió corriendo a llevarme al hospital.
Después de eso las cuentas del hospital eran muy altas pero mi madre hizo lo que sea para pagarme todo.
En ese tiempo mi padre no era tan constante conmigo y solo pagaba lo de la casa y dejaba "algo" de dinero para el mes
Pero era mi madre que con el dinero de su trabajo con que más nos alimentabamos
No culpo a mi padre ahora, puedo llegar a entender que también tenía problemas económicos y su manera de educar era pobre, pero nunca le tendré el respeto que le tengo a mi madre que hizo de todo por mi hermano y yo.
Fue algo difícil para mi estar tanto tiempo sin mi madre en el día a día, claro que la extrañaba cuando no la podía ver desde la tarde hasta la noche. Pero ahora que estoy más grande entiendo el esfuerzo que hacía.
You were lucky to have grandparents to help out
Such a tricky situation. If they get home earliest by 7pm, and the child finishes at 3:30pm 5 days a week, they're going to have to either push the responsibilities onto a family member, (of which the relationship already seems strained), or super expensive childcare. I hope they figure it out and are all happy. 🙏
It is so hard for foreigners to get a decent job in Korea. At first, I thought she's gonna work in sales maybe like call centre but I was so happy when the boss showed her the research/production stuff. I have seen many foreigners only working as a teacher or in a restaurant. It was too good of an opportunity to let go! might be better than his job. How in hell the husband was so proud with his cunning smile when they told him, What a sly technique at 5.41. In earlier part of the episode, he was talking about how there are no jobs for her wife in Korea. lol
I feel sorry for her. The husband is just all over the place in making decisions for her that she needs to be making for herself primarily.
This message is for all women (and men). Some people don't like to see you independent. Believe in yourself and your dreams and do what you want to do. Getting an opinion from someone is good but not necessary.
This whole dynamic makes me uncomfortable. The husband is highly controlling of his wife and she needs to be careful. Also, how in the world will another job opportunity come along. Further, are the presenters of the show watching what I’m watching? How can they not call him on his response to his wife procuring employment? Anyway, I wish Esmeralda the best. Stay strong.
She'd be crazy to not take that job. It's sad when you're trying to be a good spouse, but they do you harm.
I absolutely hate this for her. She was so happy she got the job after one interview. She is missing out an a new opportunity where she would’ve been able to earn an income, be successful, and incorporate speaking her native language as part of her role! He is selfish, unsupportive and manipulative. Taking her to get her hair done and while eating a nice meal…slipping in the “I still don’t want you to work” angered me. I thought he was trying to help her get ready for her first day. There was nothing “mature of him” at all. She’s going to be full of regret and resentment towards him. I would be interested to see how they’re doing now.
I can see the fear the husband half he scared of her freedom because of the feel she's gonna work she will have a lot of freedom to build high skilled as a dream as well but is also good to see he changed his mind we support Everybody Have a Dream we wish them the best✌
For all of you married, dating or soon to be married ladies, NEVER EVER rely financially on someone else especially your partners! It gets very complicated when you become a stay at home mom too. I've seen this too many times with SAH moms. As a couple they decide that mom should give up her career as soon as she the child is born so then dad can be the sole provider. Most of the time money becomes a weapon to manipulate the relationship. Some relationships become abusive so mom can't leave with kids because she has no money. They usually end up staying and letting the financial abuse happen until the husband divorces them and left with nothing. It's always best to be financially stable first. Never bring in a child if you can't afford yourself either. When you have your own money, you are free to spend it however and whatever you want without someone guilting you.
Ok i was so amazed how perfact he's until now
She’s trilingual which is very valuable 💰💴 💵 But what’s more valuable is she sounds like Daffy Duck 🦆. She can make a lot of money doing voiceover work as the Korean Daffy Duck 🦆
I think you need to fix whatever outputs your sound from the device that you watched this video from. Or maybe your ears because she doesn't sound like Daffy at all...........
She can speak four languages
I swear this show has been exposing these husbands here and there. Just can't believe they behave like this even in front of the camera...
They behave like that in front of the camera, because it is condoned by Korean Society.
One of the female host even praised him, for dissuading his wife from taking the great job.
I LOVE them! That is ALOT of Life, Beautiful 🌺
Did she end up keeping the job? From the ending of this video, it seemed like he convinced her to quit :((
I don’t think she ended up keeping the job :(
My grandma stills tells us "it's ok if u leave husband (manipulative) bt never leave ur govt job" 😅
Your grandma is wise.
As a housewife she is isolated- and talking mostly with children doesnt challenge her minds. She needs something to do that challenges her minds or else she feel stucked. That company would have been perfect for her- and that company director believed in her.
he should have let her go to work, it is impressive she got that job, seems like a legit company that even have a Spanish speaking branch, she's really good!
Im sorry if marriage is like that i dont fucking want it. Who does he think he is to tell his wife to not pursue her dreams? wtf? he wants her to stay all day in the house? its so disgusting
That's not how a healthy marriage looks, there are other healthy marriages portrayed in this channel, you'll see the big difference. These abusive men shouldn't even think about partnership, they're too unfit for it. But alas, they're selfish, so of course they seek marriage for all the wrong reasons: their own needs and ONLY their needs.
Her English is MUCH BETTER than the old man's, "Why you come to Korea?" - poor English.
Nooooooooooooo!!!!!!! you got it, damn it 😭
Your so called husband should be PROUD AND HONOURED that he has such a hardworking and intelligent wife. The fact that he pushes u back down, is a fat red flag. Thats not a husband but a pain in the ass.
Esmeralada, por favor abre tus alas y vuela! Eres una mujer maravillosa y te merece lo mejor.
I would have said, thank you for your thoughts, I'm still going to work on the morning. Send the kids to your mom.
I really hope she took the job. This was very hard to watch. Men can me do selfish. He knows she had been applying for so long and she finally got one so what’s the problem. He didn’t seem reply for her at all, almost like he didn’t want her to get the job.
Amazing lady!!!
My first knee-jerk reaction is to call her husband out for not supporting his wife but after listening to him, I agree to wait till your child starts school. Korea's workforce is different from the rest of the world there is no work-life balance. My understanding is people work equal or more than 60hr work weeks with 10 days of holiday a year (it is often frowned on if you take all 10). Given the demand of the workforce on employees, families with both parents working leaves the child without adequate parental care. Having said that It is important for a husband making such a demand from his wife not to be stingy with the money-The fact that you are the sole earner does not mean she is not working-Being a full-time homemaker is an around the clock job. So, don't make her beg for the things she needs because you are the one making the money-That is just plain unkind! A woman as intelligent as she is cannot be satisfied with simply being a homemaker in the long run and I think that contributes to how low she is feeling about herself. Husband, for the sake of her mental health as soon as the child goes to school let her find her own career path and don't be a petty man who limits his wife to feel good about himself.
I'm Mexican too, she mispronounces all the 시 sounds as 치, if she corrects that her Korean would sound much better
how did you notice that?! smart cookie 😆
@@k-doc467 I lived in Korea for long time haha and my mom also cannot pronounce the '시' sound, she says 'suchi' instead of 'sushi' so I'm used to that mistake 😂
@pumpfever
Her pronunciation is the LEAST of her problems; she was offered that marvelous job, with her pronunciation.
HE’S SO INSECURE 🤬🤬🤬
When you try and ponte las pilas but ur husband says no :(((((((((
Don’t let him make you give up unii
This is amazing
That is sad to watch and even sadder to hear those hosts to comment on it playfully.
awesome videos (: 감사합니다
my pleasure 🥰
Why on earth would he be mad at a second income?
I wish I have that kind of husband..
What an amazing relationship they have. I hope she gets healthy, I think her working will help her to lose weight and such.
I don't think she will start the job based on the ending.
He said No to her working.
I think you read this whole relationship wrong. Please take care of yourself and don't ever be quick to fall for the romantic gestures if all they are for is to control you. This is what he did to her. He deflected her needs to something else to manipulate her into not taking the job. This is not a good relationship- it is toxic. tHere is more going on behind the scenes for sure.
This skilled engineer's husband swindled her into turning down a chance to design contact lenses. Imagine all the advancements we're missing because women are urged to slave at home. It's frustrating to see husbands like him stifle her potential to fulfill his own selfish needs while she lives unfulfilled.
Wow. It's crazy to think other people can be dominated so easily. And how they keep ending up on Tv-shows.
I think the husband said it for her best interest, he doesn’t want her to go through all that pressure in Korean working culture, especially we can see that because of the way he cares for her regarding health, taking financial responsibility etc., but I also understand her as she wants to fulfil her dreams and have a great working position. Hopefully they can resolve and come to the middle ground.
She is already quite accomplished- her school records were great (100% attendance ), she has a degree and can speak 4 languages and achieved all this in Mexico. The person interviewing her could see her value as an employee- this is someone who works incredibly hard to achieve and succeed (against all odds). And the husband knows this too because they met at work- so he knows for sure what she is capable of. I believe she could've done the job and still been able to be a good mum & wife. It's sad that she couldn't see that for herself. I hope she finds her strength.
And no it wasn't for her best interest- it was for his. Think about it- she is someone who needs to be mentally challenged (study, work, languages) and yet she has had to stay home to child rear- now add pandemic lockdowns and she would be seriously depressed. She has sent out 200 applications and finally got an interview AND got the job- imagine how happy and excited she felt!!! And then he destroyed that- how is that in her best interest? It's selfish and manipulative -plain and simple. A partner should lift you with encouragement and support not try to drag you down. Her interest is getting back into the workforce- his is keeping her at home doing domestic duties all day, everyday. He doesn't;t want a wife, he wants a slave.
SUCCESS IS UNCOMFORTABLE.
IDGAF. SOMETHING MAY BE HARD BUT IT'S NOT IMPOSSIBLE.
This poor mexican woman sent 200 applications to finally get a job and this is the attitude her husband is giving her? OH PLEASE THAT'S NOT CALLED CARING ABOUT HER. THAT'S MANIPULATING AND BRAINWASHING HER TO MAKE HER LISTEN TO HIM.
Can't you see that the husband wants to be in control of her. Open you eyes, it's all infront of you 😭
It's just a reflection of korean culture and woman's possibilities
More like "woman's lack of possibilities".
Oh jeez. That was a very good job. Is he afraid of being considered lower than her? It's obvious that he's scared af to earn less than her, to be the one who has a less valuable job (meaning to feel castrated) and above all to potentially lose her....
My patience can't allow me to even listen to him letvme continue being single i cant even understand
Women must learn to be financially independent if you want freedom. Nobody can predict the future. Better to have a bird in hand than two in the bushes.
The woman is doing this man a favor by even being with him. She could have gotten herself a real prize, one that didn't make her depressed and want to drink Coke all day.
Absolutely not, Sir!!!
when she was showing off her outfit…the background song gave me flashbacks 💀
If I was in her place then then I would have said that " If you aren't respecting or accepting the decision I am taking for my own life and you aren't understanding my dreams and me then there is no point to staying with you. Your just a part of my life not my whole life." One shouldn't love someone more than themselves. Always give yourself and your dream the most priority because we have just 60-70 years to live our life. So live the way you want.
I noticed that the people in Korea are still living in the past where women should only serve her husbabnd and their family and in laws too.
Ahh idk anymore. Last time he was so supportive and loving, helping her to loss weight. Now he’s asking her to quit her job..hmm relationship is complicated, especially when you’re married
Can't you see that he sweetly manipulated her to leave the work.
and then the society say "why divorce are happening so often now a days?" who's gonna live with this shitty man who isn't understand her wife! sitting all day can put you depressed , also dealing with man child .
This whole thing is something they should have talked about before marriage period nothing wrong with staying home as a woman but it should be talked about before marriage not when your already married
Exactly, especially not on tv
You gotta be smart. This is just a messy situation they found themselves in. It happens all the time. Only they can work it out. No matter what people keep getting at in the comments
I don't know why but I have always disliked when for instance, my mom would try to change the subject by offering to go do something. Just like her husband did with offering to take her to get her hair done.
I feel sad for her her husband got what he wanted but she didn't not even meeting halfway
@9:13, 1 of the female host said, "...Her husband, That was mature of him."; NO he was being insidiously controlling.
He didn't want her working, bc then he will have to take care of their daughter. (He didn't know what class she is in.)
He is too stupid to realize, by working outside of their home, she will lose lots of weight, she gained as homemaker.
He better keep his mouth shut, next time she drinks her coke or gain additional weight, staying home.
Sad that even the female host praised him for:
-crushing his wife's dream
-pacifying her with the inconsequential makeover + trip.
Most people need a sense of achievement; he stole that from his wife, for his own selfishness.
a selfish husband, he treats his wife like a child, to all wives out there,follow your intuition,believe in your limitless capabilities most of all your passion to do better for yourselves