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- เผยแพร่เมื่อ 29 มิ.ย. 2024
- You may be familiar with the five stages of grief: denial, anger, bargaining, depression and acceptance. After decades of research and his own experience with tragic loss, grief expert David Kessler ventured beyond that classic framework and sought a sixth, crucial stage: meaning. He shares practical wisdom and strategies for anyone seeking to honor a loved one's memory and move through life in light of personal loss. (This conversation, hosted by TED curator Cloe Shasha Brooks, is part of TED's "How to Deal with Difficult Feelings" series.)
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Wishing all who are grieving, peace and strength. We're in this together.
The more I listen to David more I understand the river of grief I am going through for 5 months after my daughter's death. Thank you David.
the same here Marta. I lost dad in july it has been brutal.god bless you
Needed this, I’ve been given up the last year , really don’t care if i live or not. I need to start somewhere hopefully it’s this video
❤
P
@@amberc3728 you have to go
Call me
Same here ! At 42 I was doing so good financially and I loved my family and job . I've lost my parents in their early 60s unexpectedly. Plus my wife divorced me and took our 3 kids in matter of a year. I left them our house only she sold it to buy another house with her new husband ! Then I was fired from my job of 22 years from back problems and depressing. I have anxiety attacks and depression 11 years later. I've completely changed. I have been isolated since 2011. I feel stuck . I don't have any energy to make a change. Maybe I've lived my best years and I'm done. Lord knows. I hope he takes me home ! She's doing well owns a house married still. I'm stuck in the past . I live hour by hour. It effects my health and relationships with my kids and grandsons.
Goal is not to diminish the grief, but to grow and become bigger around the grief.. Best piece of advice I have received in these times! Thank you!
I lost my beloved Sant Keshavadas, my magical guru. I still grieve, I still miss him and his wisdom... it's been more than a decade.
Lost my husband 7 months ago and my adult daughter a year and a half ago. My son and his family don't live near....I feel so alone lately and am looking for meaning in this life often. This video was helpful and I'm sure I will listen to it often. I am sorry for your loss too.
I hope you're better now 🫂❤
@@ayahpc4108 thank you so much for your response. After continuing therapy and moving closer to my son I now live in a very active 55 and older community and keep busy at a slow pace. I had a major stroke a month after moving here but have many new friends who help me if I need help and spend more time with my son. I visit the cemetery since it's nearby now but am not in a devastated space anymore. Thank you though...nice to know the world holds good people still.❤️
Perfect timing, I lost another friend yesterday, they leave such a hole in my life. I am trying to focus on what I had rather than what I have lost
I just lost my mother last Saturday. I've been taking care of her for the past 8 years, so finding this was exactly what I needed. Thank you so much & I'm terribly sorry for the loss of your son
Im sorry for your loss floyd ... you are a good son and these 8 years spent taking care of your mother will bring you peace in this life and afterlife...
I am so sorry for the loss of your mom, Shea. I totally understand. I loss my brother (45) a year after I loss my mom (65). My dad out lived them over a decade and then he finally joint them. It still feels like just yesterday. You will always going to remember your mom and your loved ones that have passed on. There are times I’m still sad and missing them so much. It seems like I never stop grieving. Know that we are here with you, and also know that your mom is looking from heaven smiling at you and still a proud mom.
@@Supe204 thank you so much for the kind words. It truly means a lot to me. I hope you have/had an incredible day!
@@alatsamy thank you for sharing your story! That is alot to endure in a very short period of time. Hearing this gives me comfort & lets me know I'm not alone . After all, I do have some amazing people around to lend support, whether it be family or a few great people on the internet. Thanks again and have a fantastic day!
@@sheafloyd9904 Hi Shea, im so sorry to hear of your loss . Just know your an awesome son for taking care of your mum. Remember all the good memories you made together. My thoughts are with you and family at this time. Peace ✌
David, I'm crying for your loss. You are a kind man. So kind you remind me of Mr. Rodgers.. I wish I was as strong as you...
I think this is a big misconception. It is not about being strong or weak. Grief is just the way it is. Try not to compare your feelings. And try to let go of the strong and weak thinking of emotions. Emotions are just the way they are.
I'm a therapist and often listen to other professionals. This man's lecture was awesome. Thank you sir. Very valuable information.
My mom died 10 years ago this past April and still miss her especially when I look at photos or have dreams that simply show up. There is no such thing is closure, not really.
I cant stop crying. I do have " Broken Heart Syndrome". I am in so much pain. Im trying to incorporate my Horrible Grief into my Life....
I would like to honour your tremendous effort
Go to the nature and enjoy of fresh weather and look more careful to the nature, to the flowers, trees , leaves, animals, ... See the beauty of colors and forms at them. Nature will make your feeling good dear ❤
The Wim Hof breathing method helped me a lot with taking a cold shower in the morning (takes out the stress from the body and mind). Then I pray and send out light and love to my lost ones and also to everyone in the world who is suffering. This warms up the heart and this is what we and the world are in need of.
Thank you all for giving me ideas! They are great! 🙏
@@M_SC ㅂ0
Compacted grief can really take hold and I didn’t pay attention to the sequence of my partner dying unexpectedly, followed by my mothers death, followed by a new relationship death end all through Covid. It has all caught up with me now so this is very helpful. I also found it sad when I would try to talk about this the response was often well everyone is suffering. That didn’t help. Thanks for making our own grief unique.
"We dont compare grief , we dont have a broken head we have a broken heart" 💔 I really wish people would be more sensitive of the things they say to people that are hurting and going through stuff we know nothing about we are all experiencing some sort of Pain, Be kind.
This is the best I've ever seen. I'm been touch the most due to your generousity to everything, like an angle, you just look down from the heaven and be calm. I've learned so much! Thankyou a lot!!! So wonderful
So true every word you said my God. I had a preterm baby 7 years ago who lived with us in the nicu for 81 days... my 4th child. So handling grief was all I was doing not just for myself but my kids and family too... I found meaning in it thru numerology that I've studied and was able to move through it... thank you. It all suddenly makes sense. I hope we can all find meaning in our lives again thru our loss! Amen.
Lost my wife 1,5 years ago, mother of 3, age 42. Your words resonate with me.
❤
@Therealmcdoc
My condolences to you and your kids.
I am 32, my wife 47. We were together (living together) for over 7 years, married for almost 4 years. She was “the one”. The absolute love of my life.
Two weeks ago, I went to take a walk. Came back 20 minutes later and she was gone. She had taken her life in the worst possible way imaginable.
I feel as if my life is over and there’s no possible way forward from here.
How are you doing after 2+ years have passed? Does it get any better?
I lost my job 7 years ago. It took me 10 years to get it, I had it 2 years then the company went bust and I was left in a recession with nothing. It has taken me 6 years to get over that loss, and 1 year to figure out what to do with my life now.
I felt silly all this time having my life turned upside down because of a job, but it really hit me that hard.
Compared to those who suffered real loss I feel like a joke, yet at the same time I have to admit, I spent the last 6 years feeling lost and hopeless every day. It took me to the edge of suicide and through therapy I felt a bit better.
Heyyyyyy… loss is loss… don’t judge that by saying those who suffered “real loss”…your job WAS a real loss. I’m glad you’re still here to share💜💜💜🙏🏾🙏🏾🙏🏾
Thank you David. I am very sorry for the loss of your son.
Lost my step gramps, dad, old boss, and now my cat, all within a couple of years. No closure with any of them, no funerals, just suppressing my feelings like culture has pressured me to. I am now finally properly grieving after breaking down out of nowhere. The pressure behind my eyes, the pain in the back of my head, the loss of appetite and interest in my hobbies all explained. David's podcast series on Spotify has helped tremendously.
Thank you so much for enlightening us with such great wisdom
I lost my mom to cancer on 2/9/13, it has never been easy because we found out she had cancer in January and she passed away 3 weeks later. I still struggle with grief.
Thank you David, for sharing these amazing insights.
Thanks a lot to Sasha Brooks for bringing up such a difficult issue
Thank you so much for sharing this, so helpful!
Beautiful, Thanks Ted for this ❤️
-Through Covid I became a first time mum
- My family did not see me pregnant because we live interstate.
- I could no have a baby shower
- I physically did not go baby shopping it was all online
- my husband could not come to the ultrasound to find out the twins sex’s
- I had to got to many appointments alone with lots of scary news
- my husband could not spend more than two hours with me in the hospital per day, I was hospitalized a few times.
- I spent 48 hours in quarantine from suspected coved 2 days after my babies were born, did not see my babies during that time.
- my daughter was in the NICU for 3 months before she passed away, to spend time with her I had to give up time with her twin brother because he was not allowed in the NICU a lot of the time.
- my family only meet my daughter the week she died this January
I don’t know what to ask for help wise, I’m mad, I’m sad, I’m very overwhelmed with my emotions. I have just started seeing a therapist, I hope it help.
Grief and be compassionate to yourself
I think this is one of the best video on youtube. No one teaches us how to handle difficult feelings like grief. Thank you from bottom of my heart to both of you.
I mean.. any situation.. of loss.. if you lose a loved one.. think about this.. would they want you to be unhappy?
Probably not.. and, if they did.. you shouldn't respect their advice or feel pain beyond what is already there. Compassion is rare.. true compassion, I mean.
Live your life for you, but... try to do good and sometimes.. the best way to help.. is not to help..
Thanks David
Awesome support and words
Fabulous.
A gift for many.
Thank you.
🙏🏻
such a realistic video and we would have to face difficulties or we couldnt cope with the world after getting everything normal
Great ted! For to talk about this subject thanks for share us about this! 🙏🏽😊🇵🇦
This was very validating ty
My husband and I are grieving with a shameful and embarrassing grief, loss of relationship with our adult children. Evidently this is more common nowadays with the self centered and entitled generation. We aren't allowed to not only be part of their lives, but see our Grandson grow up or be part of his life. We weren't perfect parents but we were supportive in their endeavors and loved them more than ourselves. Our grief is deep and worse than if they had died. There's no support for people like us. I have prayed and prayed for resolution, and just last week our son texted us that he's no longer willing to try. We apologized, and offered to attend counseling. My faith is wavering and I cry everyday.
Flexibility, Compromise and Acceptance! Wish you better days❤
Everyone's story is different but I can assure you that a lot of adult children cut ties with their parents for different reasons and it's not because we're the "entitled generation". Absolutely nothing was handed to most of us in my generation so to tell us we're somehow entitled is disheartening. Again though, I don't know your story. A lot of the times, parents can be emotionally and mentally abusive because they're simply not that self aware and have undiagnosed mental conditions so most of the time they love to blame their misery on their children but in reality, a good foundation starts at home and if there's nothing like that at home even if you THINK you've got it all figured out as a parent that child/ren might go out and search for support elsewhere cuz you're not perfect. You might've screwed up quite the few times and in reality damaged your children.
My mother is a covert narcissist and although she'd probably die for us she has infantilized us and now ridicules us for being who we only know to be. She wants to change us when we've already had systems put into our heads by her herself so to change isn't easy but as adults, we just wanna live our lives just like you have.
Younger people have it way harder due to the economy and the only thing we have is information. We're using that information to better ourselves and our relationship and that sometimes results in realizing that what we have may not have been healthy.
Peace ✨️
@@thetorontogirl❤bingo!
Thank you so much for this
Wonderful, short and meaningful video.hats off
Love your content!!! Stay safe everyone ❤️ ❤️
Thankyou so much
Thank You 🙏
So grateful for your insight, compassion & help David. Always appreciate you and your work. The host is emotionless & takes away from your warmth.
Thank you David, i found this very informative!!
All the best ❤️♥️
I am 48 yrs old and lost both parents. I still cry 10 yrs later:
My husband lost his parents and brother and he is fine. He says this is life you loose people. I don’t get it.
This reminds me of Life is Messy by Matthew Kelly, would love to see a conversation between these two
Thank you so much for sharing this powerful & timely wisdom. Have you heard of Matthew Kelly’s book Life is Messy?
to fight childrens grief ,everyparent should be understanding
Really good. This makes me think of Matthew Kelly's book, Life Is Messy. You should do an interview with him!
Love it
I would have liked David to talk about overcoming ones "guilt".
After the loss of my beloved son Jerett, my husband asked me if he should hold the meds I happened to be taking at the time, giving them to me as prescribed. We both knew what he was trying to say.
I don't remember it, but husband said when he and I were standing at Jerett's casket, I was crying and kept saying, "Why didn't he take me with him... he should have taken me with him." It's been 3 yrs, I still have not stopped crying. I think my guilt (imagined or real) keeps me from peace.
Did you mean you're guilty because you said those things?
@@henrychang340 …. My guilt lies with him taking his own life.
@@carlalakins I'm sorry that I failed to understand it. And I'm sorry for your loss. I'm not an expert, but I found an article on Healthline titled 'How to Stop Feeling Guilty'; I hope that will help you in some way. I tried to post this comment with the link several times, but it keeps disappearing.
I’m so sorry about what you are going through. If you are willing, you can try to find a hypnotherapist to help you. I’m a hypnotherapist myself so I know how hypnotherapy can help with freeing us from deeply stuck feelings. Sending you lots of love and may you find inner peace. 🤍
@@dreamsylvia ...... Thank you for the comment. I would be willing to try hypnotherapy. I really don't know what's all involved, or how it works. If you ever have the time to explain how it works, I would be grateful. Thank you again.
Info..industry...changing the way you totally think immediately.
great 👍👍
I like psychology, and this video is most useful for me.
I love psychology. I would LOVE to get my psychology degree but I don't believe I have the strength to use it efficiently.
Excelente
Ted is very good talking chanal
Great video. I think Matthew Kelly would have great insights on these topics!
Agree with David on most of what his saying but just like crime or sin, grief can’t be equal and to even suggest it is, is very unfair. Am sure, the lady whose wedding was cancelled, would prefer to have her wedding cancelled than have her fiancé die if given the option and in that, lies the difference in grief. I find being able to compare my grief with others allows me to understand how lucky, I am to be right here in this position. Wd have been worse is the expression, and whenever I compare, it’s easier for me to move on.
There is no anger my husband died of cardio myopathy so he held on as long he could. So this does not resonate with me but could be very helpful to others.
Great video. Have you heard of Matthew Kelly?
This host is emotionless. I can’t ….
🕊
Hi from June 2023. They mentioned the p*****mic; with so many losses from this time and because of it, there's a lot of grieving - I see anger flooding in.
After like 20 years, I don't think it's possible. But I'll try...
@@realfiregoddess really? I'm so sorry 😔
Is there a link to the full series
🙏🏻💖🌹
👍
Early
Any one in india
You should invite Teal Swan. Regulary. 👉💎
for whatever your needs at the moment, God wants to be part of your life to walk with you through all situations with His love and wisdom, kindness and mercy, forgiveness and grace. John 3 16 invites you to know God's love for you, the desire of His heart for you and His promise to you. Have a good day.
:3
The moderator needs to take serious lessons on how to conduct a Q n A show. She’s inexperienced and it clearly shows. No disrespect meant.
First
Me: I am the Senate.
Also me: Not. Yet.
Possibly me?: It's treason then.
I thought he turned into a werewolf
first
The interviewer is really impersonal. She keeps saying ya and rushing through the questions- he’s talking about painful topics. Rude
This is such a rushed explanation.
Sounds like psychobabble. Complete BS!