Intimacy After Colon + Rectum Removal | Let's Talk IBD
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- เผยแพร่เมื่อ 11 ก.ย. 2024
- Today I talk about my experience with intimacy after proctocolectomy surgery. As I gain comfort, I am sure to improve in speaking about this!
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Anyone who could possibly say your videos are vulgar would be totally wrong!!! You are polite,
dignified and so courageous!! Anyone close to you can only be proud x
We really need to normalize talking about sexual health. It's just part of being human.
Thank you!
And by normalize, how often would these conversations happen?
@@SbjsksmNx I don't think we necessarily need to talk about it more but it would be nice if there was no stigma around sexuality and sexual health.
It is. And when you don't function in a straightforward way, it is really important to be able to discuss it in a practical manner. If you can't, then you need to be with someone else or no one at all. A lot of men will never accept that women's parts are anything more than just a hole to be used for own pleasure, end of story. Fortunately, some of us have been blessed with a specimen of an evolved species of male as partner. They deserve all the praise in the world, because they make all the difference. I also have IBD.
@@nindigo2038 I'm lucky that my partner is very understanding. Unfortunately some medical professionals get weird about it though, it's a normal part of life and people need to get over it.
This isn’t vulgar in the least. I don’t have Crohn’s, but I have fully enjoyed your videos. I admire your strength.
Emily Noggles Lol thanks
SAME
Same lol.. her videos are just super fascinating.
Hearing you articulate "bah, we need to adjust positions!" is really helpful. It's the logistical dialogue we don't hear in movies or tv unless they're using it as an awkward joke. Jokes can be great, but it's also important to hear how it can happen in a normalizing context.
Yessss!!!
I don't have IBD or any of the procedures you have had but I love learning about people's diseases/conditions/procedures so I can be more sympathetic or just informed in case I meet someone who does or just to learn about what other people are going through. so I just want to let you know i love your channel. Your personality is awesome and I guess i just wanted to tell you it's super enjoyable and informal for someone who doesn't know anything about these things. 💜 Thank you for being so open on the interwebs!
same!
YOU ARE SO BEAUTIFUL INSIDE AND OUT! BEAUTIFUL LADY! WORKED AT THE HOSPITAL FORTY YEARS, BUT STILL WANT TO LEARN AS MUCH AS I CAN ABOUT EVERYTHING!! YOU ARE LIVING YOUT LIFE TO THE FULLEST!! GOD BLESS YOU!!
You’re so sweet for trying to learn. That’s what’s going to make you a simply remarkable human being by not being ignorant and by being compassionate! Many thanks! 🙏🏻
This is why I watch Maggie and many other creators as well
Moon Child I agree. I like to be informed And it has helped me understand what others are going through. A friends son has many health issues and when I can understand what he is going through is so helpful
What a beautiful husband you have such a caring, understanding, and patient. I'm glad you two are a couple
Honestly, I would expect any half decent human to act just like him. We’ve got a name for those who can’t put their partners health and pain above getting their genitals wet, and it ain’t a cute one lol
@@-MaryPoppins- it tastes a lot from a person to be this flexible and selfless with something as vulnerable as intimacy.
@@adaharrisonn yes, but I don’t see why anyone wouldn’t expect it. Sexuality is such a fickle thing, here today, gone tomorrow, then back again. Especially people who are going to be pregnant, often times it can be YEARS before it’s comfortable to have sex vaginally again. I wouldn’t want a partner who can’t understand what “I’m in pain right now” means 🥴
@@-MaryPoppins- truuuuue. 👏🏻👏🏻👏🏻
@@adaharrisonn never forget you deserve what you’d put out hun!!! The very best, no matter what your disability/ability. Never forget it!
Damn girl, you're a total Rockstar.
I can't even imagine how grateful people are that you can freely talk about what you deal with.
You're just amazing.
I've been with my husband 13 years. He's been with me through my entire journey. We had not been intimate in over 6 months (I had back to back surgery) the first time after my barbie butt that we were intimate, it was honestly the most connected I've ever felt to him. The time and care he took to make sure he wasn't hurting me. They love, the gentle touch. Yes it was different but not werid or worse my any means. Now 6 years post operation, things are back to normal. Anything and everything goes hehe.
Researching the subject because my friend is having this procedure soon. And when I hit her with the words "Barbie butt" she giggled like I haven't heard in months. It's part of our language now. She needed that. Thank you. Hope things are going well! 🙂
I’m constantly in awe of your bravery.
@Judy Ivie Judy, you are so correct. Maggie and Zac are my heroes. Two very strong (stronger then me) people.
Simp
@@JusticeGamingNY 🙄 what are you 14?
My second birth was a nightmare, I ended up with an episiotomy and forceps but the forceps tore straight through my vaginal wall and my perineum. I had hundreds of stitches and recovery was ROUGH so the thought of beginning intimacy again was the LAST thing on my mind. Totally relate to associating any touch in that area with pain, I’m still dealing with this. My baby is 8 months old now and I’m still recovering, I’m still having pain daily and sex still isn’t fun but I’m trying. Even though we are in very different situations I really relate to your videos. Sending love 💖💖
Admittedly, I watched this, not because it applies to me, but out of curiosity. Oh. My. Gosh. For those to whom this information is applicable, I can only assume they are eternally grateful. I can imagine upon being diagnosed with Crohns, needing invasive surgery, relearning to do whatever used to be routine all over & under different/difficult circumstances takes it’s toll on a person. You handled a tough topic honestly, openly, and with grace. Well done. I wish you well and hope you continue to encourage and mentor those in need.💕
My good friend had a very difficult labor, so much so, that she needed a lot of stitches and she was also internally damaged. Her baby was too big and they should of done a C section, she was cut during the delivery process. To this day she has not healed properly, and she also had to wait a long time before she could be intimate again with her husband. She is too scared to have another baby, it would have to be via C section. She said her rectum was also affected. I think this is very helpful to a lot of people because there are many people who have difficulty with intimacy due to a medical condition.
Same thing happened to me had a third degree tear and lots of stitches! I’ll never be the same and would rather not have Intercourse, it’s painful. I have only one child because I did not want to give birth again!
Perineal massage is very helpful for those in fear of this. Do your research. It works.
Same thing happened to me. I went 13 years crying my way through sex. I was finally diagnosed with pudendal neuralgia and put on Gabapentin. I can finally have pain free sex, BUT Gabapentin makes it a little more difficult to, uhm, finish 😉. I couldn't wear tampons anymore either. I ended up getting a hysterectomy at the age of 25. I still have problems, but I can live an almost normal life, there's just limitations.
I have seen patients have success with a urogynecologist and colorectal surgeons that have been able to help women who have had severe tears and cuts during vaginal child birth.
May I suggest that your friend seek out a specialist in urogynecology, even if she has to travel. She may need reconstructive surgery, and her current physician may not have the knowledge or skills to help her.
Ah hello!!! I found your videos recently and was eagerly anticipating this video and very surprised to hear my name at the end - thank YOU!! 💛 and thank you for sharing your experiences - so valuable!
Of course!! I had to share what you do for the community (whether people have stomas or not!). Thank you for what you do!!
After my first baby (I’m 70) I was VERY immature and scared sex was going to hurt and I had no one to ask. I know this is totally different but you are helping the girls that are going through what you have.
your honesty and open-ness blows me away. I am a nurse too! I was an ICU nurse for 20 years so I have taken care of Soooo many ostomy patients. You without a doubt change someone's life on a daily basis. Ostomy or not. xoxoxo
I would like people to understand in case they don’t know, sex can be a variety of things it can be oral. It can be touching. It can be whatever you make. It doesn’t always have to be penetration to call it sex
Can't help but grimace at the thought of the pain.
Me too!
Hey love I’m a pelvic floor physical therapist and I absolutely love your channel AND THIS VIDEO. Your awareness of your body is amazing. Keep up the amazing work!
Your mind is an incredibly powerful thing when things have healed.
If people think you're being "vulgar" thdy have something very wrong with them.
You're approaching the subject extremely respectfully IMO.
And if someone doesn't want to hear about that stuff they don't have to, they can go watch cute puppies or kittens on another channel.
See this is something on my list for why I'm hesitant about proctocolectomy surgery. but with having my ostomy for 8 years I know I need to have it soon.
One is recovery time, basically how much time off work. Scaring, i.e. wound healing/ reopening. Comfort, how it will feel. And then Intimacy... currently I have some mucus discharge from everything that's left. And as pelvic muscles move during sex, there tends to be some discharge around when I am intimate, so my worry is something similar to your nervousness that things will be painful, or stretch or even worst case the wound reopening...
Thankfully my current partner and I have good communication when it comes to intimacy, and we have briefly discussed me having surgery in the future, and he is so supportive and accepting. I really got lucky with him.
I just had on recovery is slow I’m on my 6th week after surgery still not released for work hopefully Wednesday. Still sore though wished the would have warned me. My hysterectomy was a lot less painful and was pretty much functioning in 2 weeks after.
You didn’t get lucky hun, the bare minimum that you deserve is someone who CARES about your comfort, wants, and needs. Please remember that. He’s not doing you a favor by caring about your health. He isn’t being nice or sweet. He’s being A GOOD HUMAN❤️ I hope you heal incredibly fast after your procedure, and I pray you never experience the pain you’re worried about!
It's truly remarkable how resilient the human body can be! I don't have any sort of digestive issues so I'm mostly here to learn, but I love how these tips can be pretty universal. Take things slow, communicate, don't be afraid to use things that assist...etc.
I hope you had a wonderful Thanksgiving! I'm really looking forward to vlogmas 🥰
My partner found your channel and shared this video with me along with your previous one in intimacy with an ostomy (I have both an ileostomy and a urostomy). Thank you so much for doing these videos on the topic. I have not had sex since my surgeries in 2008, due to fear of the bags leaking, but these videos have helped me feel more confident with my new partner.
I am in nursing school and watching ostomy videos just because I was so curious about a real life perspective. Ive watched a few of your videos because this is really a subject that isn't discussed. I barely found any articles regarding intimacy, removals, etc. I didn't even know that this was a real life surgery after getting the ostomy.
Thank you for your transparency!! Thank you for being open!! This would be so helpful for young women that have Crohn's and ostomy, etc. So Good!!
Thank you so much for being so open, honest and de-stigmatising this sort of conversation!
After 40 years with an ileostomy and although I don’t have a BB, I have many scars from fistula from before my final op. There was nothing like this open talk so I think it’s wonderful that all the new ostomists are able to learn from you. So thank you for your continuing story.
I don’t/haven’t experienced what you’ve gone through, but you really are a hero and saint to many, many people. Rock on chic, MUCH much respect!
This is a super important topic - no need to apologize for ANYTHING!!! You’re doing a wonderful, amazingly helpful thing here - thank you!!!
I have to say you are spot on about going slow and especially taking time with the foreplay. One thing I recommend (from a guys perspective just as a disclaimer but it seems to work) is fingering for a gradual stretch so there isn't so much instant pressure upon penetration. I've just found this to be very effective with my ex. She was one who'd be very tense before we'd have sex and this not only released that tension, but also allowed for a gentle gradual stretch that made "accommodation" mentally and physically easier. Just my thoughts, but if it helps someone then great. BTW this technique works in any intimate situation not just post-surgical so this is to help all guys treat all ladies a tad gentler. Thanks for hearing me out.
I don't have chrohns even though I had to have all the tests to rule it out but I do have IBS and PCOS and Endometriosis. The problems and pains cause so much trouble with my intimate life and I too have a very supportive fiance. So many of these issues relate to me so it's nice to have someone talk about. Love you Maggie! Thank You ❤
I am 11 months post rectal cancer radiation and have only just attempted sex. Yes, PAINFUL and tense but my hubs is very considerate and understanding. I'm close to 60 so periods aren't an issue nor tampons so this was an apprehensive decision to make.
I received a miracle and the cancer was eradicated with my treatments so no surgery was necessary. But it is difficult to even think about sex after such pain has been experienced. Patience. Understanding. Communication. All are important
Your honesty and practical speaking makes this subject so much of an open table for understanding and you are doing a great service in presenting Crohn's!
I absolutely love your candid honesty. I don't have an ostomy, but absolutely love your videos. Thanks So Much for sharing your life with us.
I came across your video accidentally and I couldn’t help but subscribe. you are an awesome human being, very wise and obviously so caring
You seem like an MD: your tenor and knowledge. Very well spoken.
Your amazing! I also have a ostomy because of my Crohns'. You are such an inspiration for people that not only have these issues but for others that don't but should understand the difficulties. All of the struggles that you talk about are very very real and many people struggle more than they have too. Your a warrior!!! Wish I would of done something like this to help educate others. Thank you for sharing your story!
I'm glad you are encouraging your viewers to okay with using toys. Too many people are scared/ashamed of using them. It can make a big difference for anyone with any kind of intimacy problem.
IDK how did YT lead me here, but I listened to your whole story. You are so brave and courageous. I'm amazed. Kudos to you lady!
I'm brand new to your channel. I celebrated my 20 year anniversary with my ileostomy this past January. Like you, I am blessed to have such a loving and understanding husband. He's seen me during the good, the bad, and the ugly and has helped me through my journey with ulcerative colitis. Thank you for normalizing sexual health with having an ostomy. Glad to hear you're on the "other end" of the surgery and are doing so well!
Sex is a normal activity. It isn't supposed to hurt. Medical problems should not be a barrier to a satisfying sex life.
Hi Maggie, I just found your channel and wanted to take moment to praise you for your honesty and openness in speaking about your illness. You are vibrant and brave and blessed. I believe keeping an optimistic outlook on life is inspiring to all of us battling chronic life altering illness. I admire your grace and humor in discussing difficult topics. Keep doing what you are doing. You are making a positive difference.
Very tactful and informative video. I appreciate ur honesty cant be easy to talk about but u make it not awkward at all
Another wonderful video. Maggie you are so incredibly brave and so sweet for sharing this intimate conversation with us. We knew zak was great before but he’s just an awesome and patient hubby as well! You give me so much strength just by watching your bravery! Many blessings to you both as always! 🙏🏻❤️🙏🏻
I just found you and find you refreshing and honest....not vulgar at all and things need to be said! Thank you.
My surgery was over a year ago and I am still experiencing pain. Having an internal exam caused me so much pain, and made me bleed-it's frustrating and still painful. Great video Maggie-lots of good advice!
My surgery took place on the other end 3 years ago and I still experience discomfort. It will never be the same again.
@@proudcynophile1901 I am so sorry to hear that. Did you have proctocolectomy surgery? Where I was stitched up is the area I experience discomfort the most. I had an infection for almost a year in my perennial area. The stitches that were supposed to come out after a few weeks needed to stay in for almost seven weeks to support the wall of the infection. No pun intended but it was a total shit show. I had colorectal cancer, and am now dealing with the side effects of one of the chemo drugs I was on. I don't want to be negative-my cancer is gone the effects are fading, but it's been a very long two years. I have been walking everyday and being outside has a really positive effect on me. I want to go back to work. Best of luck to you.
You're so courageous. God bless you and Zak. Much love from South Africa
Thank you for your honesty and openness in talking about this! I don't have a health condition at all like this, but I have a long-term disability that makes just finding a comfortable sexual position difficult, and that can also make everything down their tense up because I'm expecting pain which can then make it everything more uncomfortable! Plus being in pain in general kinda doesn't put you in the mood! I think that the more honest conversation there is about disability/health issues and how much they can impact your sex life the better rather than people struggling on in silence because they are embarrassed to talk about it.
Hi Maggie, thank you so much for your videos. I have had a colostomy for two years now and have learned so much from you. Your courage and openness are inspiring.
I am old enough to be your dad, so to hear a beautiful young woman speak so confidently about such personal issues has been a great help to me. Thank you
I don’t have any of your health conditions but I do have vaginismus which makes anything penetrative excruciatingly painful for me. It’s for a different reason, but it’s still helpful to know that you were able to train your brain and body to calm down. I hope to be able to do the same one day
How friggin cool for you to address such a difficult topic. I'm sure this is going to help a lot of people. You rock, Maggie! ❤
Gosh I have been wondering about this after seeing what all you’ve gone through in the last year. All of my diseases affect my “front door,” but I don’t how you do it. I know having an understanding partner is key, and I’m thankful you have Zak. I’ve felt that “worthless” feeling more often than not. Thank you for making this video.
@meaganlindsey1203👼💗🙏👍
Hi Maggie I don't know what is going on with my body. My drs have done this test and that one. I watch you and Hanna all the time and I have learned so much that I have started demanding the drs to look further with my health. Thank you for all your talks it has made me feel more stronger to talk to my drs more in depth Thank you again Priscilla take care
You and your husband are the sweetest. I really enjoy your uploads... Really informative yet super fun. I love how full of life you are ❤
What an educated cultured lady this is! Talking so openly about delicate matters in order to help other people out there with similar problems. I guess that when Maggie herself had problems years ago there was no one to turn to in order to ask for advice. Now she is making sure that other people don’t have that problem. She is the epitome of selflessness……still thinking of other people when she has her own problems to deal with. A true star.
You are helping so many people!!! I just wanted to say thank you on their behalf!!!!
Thank you for talking about this! I've been struggling with this after my chemo and radiation and have been so ashamed, disappointed and frustrated with myself---this was so helpful!
You’re a very good person to share your personal life in this manner. Bravo for your openness to help inform others.
You are strong, kind of funny, open and honest. Absolutely amazing young woman.
Thank you for talking so openly and informative about this! I have nothing to do with IBD but I know that it's an important topic 😊
Hi! I don't have any medical issues, but I happened upon your channel and have been following you for a while. I really admire you. You are very strong and I am sure you are helping
many people. God bless you and your husband!! ❣
Thank you for being open about this, Maggie. You really made it seem like I'm talking with a dear friend about her life and it was not cringe-worthy at all although it's not an easy topic. I don't have Crohn's or an Ostomy, but other gastrointestinal issues and watching your videos gives me so much hope and joy. I'm so glad that I found my husband, who is understanding and caring like Zak. It's such a blessing to have a loving one by your side through all the ups and downs of being (invisibly) sick. Big hugs from Germany and all the best for you and Zak 💕
Maggie you are fortunate you have a supportive husband because most husbands would have headed for the hills, got the hell out of Dodge, because Sex and Money Rules pretty much 80% of them and understanding these topics is not in their character they shut down, thats why women don't speak up and suffer in silence to save the relationship.
I have been with my love for 42 yrs and he is very understanding, but he still likes money its still a win win for me. Be Blessed ❤
I just had a total colectomy, proctectomy and end ileostomy and still healing so i really appreciate your videos. Still trying to decide on protects etc. and getting used to not having a butt....thank you for your brave videos
Wow. Thank you for being so explicit so people with that desease can understand life after this kind of procedure.
Calling what you talk about vulgar is the same as going into a urologist’s office and scowling at the models of the bladder to urethra. Or going into a birthing center and telling the women giving birth to close their legs. It makes NO SENSE 🥴
thankyou soo much for sharing your story and helping and inspiring others ♡♡
you are a true blessing. Wish you and hubby health and happiness 😊
Thank you for normalizing this! I think we all benefited from being educated by your open and honest stories!
I imagine that some positions are less painful than others. Also, a glass or two of wine probably helps with the relaxing of the mind! Keep up the good work! I truly enjoy your videos!
Huge shoutout to you being open and honest about life with chronic illness. Makes so many people feel less 'weird' or alone.
I just commend you in sharing your story
As someone who doesn’t suffer from the conditions you have and hasn’t had the surgeries BUT does deal with vaginal pain/tightness and trouble with intercourse, I’m so thankful for you spreading awareness like this! Going to my PT helped sooo much, I seriously can’t recommend it enough. And dilators and other toys are always great options! Thank you for sharing your experience, keep being awesome ❤️❤️❤️
You're so courageous. There are many people who need information like this and you're personally doing it👏
Gosh where has the time gone can’t believe it’s a year already as always your videos are informative and honest you are simply the best at this
your hair looks gorgeous in this video.. thanks for talking about this. it goes so unsaid usually because its such a taboo topic.
I love your calm, honest approach to all subjects. Thank you.
Love your calm matter of fact dialogue
Beautiful Couple inside and out! God bless you Maggie. I am so happy you have such a wonderful husband!
Classy, informative and completely honest as normal 👏👏
Love and support you so much! You're such a kind wonderful soul and you're so strong and lovely. Thank you for being so honest and authentic with us about your experience. Wishing you all the kindest days to come❤
Zak is certainly a special person. 😇 I think you’re a beautiful couple. 👰🏻♀️🤵♂️
Very important info, thank you for being brave enough to talk frankly about it.
I'm so glad you have a supportive partner
Thank you for your complete honesty, 5 yrs ago I had bowl cancer it was very rare type for my age of 49 I had a stoma and I struggled so much and your smile and honest y really helped me cope I was lucky to have a reversal after 6 months i hard two further admissions for blockages luckily they cleared with medication. After I had a poss spread to lymph nodes so needed another six months of chemo, it was tough but I remember your story and it gave me strength to kick cancer wear it hurts!!! Today I am cancer free, so thank you for your life story it helped me keep going. Many thanks
This has really helped me. I havent had surgery or dealing with this but I am dealing with a lot of stress and anxiety around sex. That association you were having is kind of what I am going through and this has started to help me think about what I can do to help. Thank you!
❤❤❤❤ thank you for sharing. It takes a really lot of guts to talk about something like this. I respect you so much. You are a really classy woman. God bless you
I don't think I want a tee short that advertises I have a bag on my side. However ,I do appreciate your videos so much Maggie!
Thank you for your openness and honesty.
I really really really want to share that the although I'm not in the same position as you physically I have a lot of emotional problems. The fact you described sex in this way is so important. Thankyou so much for showing sex isn't about only 1 persons experience
Thank you for always sharing your personal insight on you issues. Love your finger nail polish.
Your countenance looks healthier every day, which makes me happy for you. I believe that humans instinctively protect their genitals so procreation is ensured. It's not surprising that you would become tense, if only to avoid pain. I'm glad that you and your husband have found ways to work through this. Thanks so much for your honest explanations.
I have just shared this and your period video to a group I made for young cancer survivors to talk about sex and related topics. Many cancer patients have similar surgeries to yours, and doctors rarely address the questions from their patients.
Tip: You may find vaginal dilators helpful in retraining yourself. They're used in treating vaginismus, starting with tiny devices and slowly working your way up to larger ones. I have also heard of them being used after cancer treatment, and also to aid in healing after MTF gender confirmation surgery.
You are inspiring Maggie! I’ve loved watching your journey, thank you for being so honest and normalising these things! Love from Australia 💛
I've been SO SCARED to get A COLONOSCOPY, But you have really gave me Strength
I had it, you do not feel it, you’ll be asleep
Azazel X It may save your life! I had my first one ten years ago. They found cancerous growth and removed a section of my colon. I would not be here today if I hadn't had the colonoscopy. It is painless. Please go.
This might sound ridiculous, but after my colonoscopy/endoscopy I felt really great. I think it was due to all the cleansing by taking the required medication. I had this about 15 years ago so don’t know if it is still the same medication but i imagine the effects would be the same.😊
I really needed this video. Honestly this has helped.
You are doing such good things for those with this medical procedure. Respect!!
I had seen this video last year but only got to watch this year and I needed to see this. Have atrophic vaginitis after going into surgically induced menopause as part of breast cancer treatment. Definitely going to research more and figure out how sex can remain part of my life
Most AWESOME! Video foe people with spouses os partners! , we all have different forms of IBS, and to have your comments, and willingness to share your history is Outstanding. My best to you and your husband 😅
I had a microperforate hymen and it was overly innervated the pain was next level. I had it removed but I couldn't even use a tampon or insert a pinky before or after surgery. What helped me was using graduated dilators. Also alcohol teehee.
You rock and have adapted on I hope your hubby has too. That’s awesome. I don’t really know how to give a congratulations on being able to adapt and make those still intimate moments precious but thank you for sharing your story.
The thing about Crohns is each person has such different symptoms and experiences that there is no textbook case. Hence the reason my diagnosis was 10 years in coming. Pain started at age 7. No diagnosis til age 17. It was 30 plus years ago tho! The best thing you can hope for is improvement which came for me after resections and a hysterectomy!