The Breakup | Date Night Get Ready & UNready With Me
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- เผยแพร่เมื่อ 8 ก.ย. 2024
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DO NOT UPROOT YOUR LIFE FOR SOMEONE YOU HAVE KNOWN FOR A MONTH!! Sorry for the all caps & I'm sorry you haven't found your person yet but I say this with all the love in my heart. He is going through a major transition & "taking you with him" is asking for heart break. I promise. You will find your person!! Don't give up hope.🤗
I've been watching for several years and I just want to shake her! Stop getting so invested after the first couple dates! It's not good for your own mental health and may come off a bit creepy. You need to find your own happiness so that it doesn't phase you when dates don't work out.
Amen. I've had so many dates in my 62 years that I've come to realize that in today's world, commitment is NOT necessary. People do not need to get married or commit to anything because women have jobs, careers, and even raise kids on their own. I pity anyone dating in these times. Dating at my age is even worse, so I stopped shopping for humans all together and focused on doing fun things by myself! Best decision I ever made.
People have all different attachments styles. Some people literally can't help it and maybe they shouldn't help it. Keeping yourself vulnerable after heartbreak is so hard and I'd pay money to be less jaded and detached. Keep being you, however that works and you will find your person.
@@mediamessy extremely bad advice. What she's doing is not healthy. It's not indicative of healthy mental health. She needs to work on herself.
I just wanna shake u for your utter lack of manners ❤
@@mediamessythis is old and clearly her situation worked out for her, but I agree whole heartedly with your words! I've always found it interesting over the years when ppl suggest others essentially behave completely different than they're capable of -- to your point, people have different attachement styles, some are deep rooted and NOT something even therapy can untangle. My husband and I are both independent and love space/freedom, but somehow having that freedom makes us come together more -- something weird about knowing I am freely CHOOSING to be by him makes me want to do it more than if he was clinging to my every movement. On the reverse side, my very dear friend is in constant need of confirmation from her partner -- clingy to the 100th degree -- from the very 1st meeting it's like the roller coaster Cassie describes. I watched her for many yrs cling on to ppl who were more like my husband and I, yet completely incapable of having any type of space -- uncertainty makes her crazy! I realized at some point many yrs ago, she needed someone who had the same desire as her (constant communication, and constant confirmation) -- she eventually found that in her now husband.
All of this to say -- sometimes people truly need to recognize their own attachment styles and understand what they need from another in order to feel safe and loved -- you cannot always change these things about yourself, so it's best to find someone who matches your attachment. Simply put, space lovers do not jive well with clingers (and vice versa)!
Please please pleaseeeeee get a lint roller for them cat hairs on your clothes lol
“When am I gonna be special enough to someone, where they don’t wanna let me go?”
Gaghhhh I felt this 🥺
Cassie you know I’m going to always tout this since I’m a therapist, but please attend therapy again. Whether or not this guys works out, I heard so much spiraling and cognitive distortion that goes beyond just dating-I hear extreme low self esteem. Find a therapist who can help you target those thoughts. Maybe keep a journal and track it, etc. it’s not easy but totally worth working on under the guidance of someone. Please consider it 🥺
Also, you’re allowed to be high maintenance and have desires/wants in a relationship. Don’t let the patriarchy think that your showing love for someone is wrong. You have requirements and needs and that’s a boundary. If you want to speak to the guy every day for a bit, then he needs to step up, just like you are when he has the need to move for his job (and for you to understand). It’s a two way street.
YES AND YES to this comment. 👏🏼👏🏼👏🏼👏🏼👏🏼
Therapist here as well and I had the same thoughts!
SHE'S JUST BEING REAL
I hope she reads your post and seeks out therapy. I feel like it would benefit her to work on her low self esteem and any other issues before trying to find a serious relationship. Maybe focus more on mental and physical health.
as a therapist, could you please explain?
aside from that clear "i dont desrve love/i cant have nice things" (which is absolutely untrue ofc). i can kinda relate to Cassie. for some reason i find it hard to come across (or find) someone i'd have romantic interest in, and if i were in Cassie's shoes and it happened to me, i'd get attached too and i'd get upset too (and probably cry my eyes out), and i feel like those emotions are absolutely valid and normal. and i would also talk with that person about trying to just stay in contact and see where things take us. what's wrong with that? i'm really sorry if i misunderstood but reading comments i feel bad for Cassie most of all (when you're sharing with someone and all you get is "go get therapy girl" its probably upsetting af), and then i feel bad bc i could relate and now all the comments make me feel like something i find normal is absolutely unhealthy.
While it's nice to be excited I don't think it's ideal to put this much energy into someone you've only been on a few dates with. It's easy to get caught up but you're almost making yourself too available if that makes sense
Cassie, you need a life of your own. Build a circle of women friends and act like your life and you matter! Take time to do good things for yourself like getting healthy, and focusing on what you like to do! I guarantee that you will gain an empowered and new perspective on life. You need to put yourself first. Not him, and not other men. Be the light in your own life! You have so much going on!
Very good advice
I cringed a little (or a lot) when you talk about “latching on” to someone regardless of how long you’ve known them but especially after only a month 🤦🏻♀️. His plate sounds very full and he’s shifting gears…if it is meant to be it will happen later. If he watches this he will never return to you because this is just too much for something that has only been going for a month (too much weight on a tiny little foundation).
If a person loves you, they will move mountains to see you. Do not settle for crumbs. Keep at it, you will find your person!
Love, after just one month?
1 month of ‘dating’ and you want him to not take a job opportunity over you?? Cassie, it’s very selfish of you to expect someone to do that….. maybe after 1 year…
Put yourself in his shoes
looks like things worked out 🤩
That's not at all what she said! She said, take me with you/let's stay in touch and talk and see where it goes!
You go way too hard, way too fast. If you’re putting that kind of energy out I can see where it would seem like a red flag.
The. Bachelor. Is. Not. Real.
Guys can sense desperation
Friend zone
so u basically settled for whatever he wants so that he stays in ure life (for now)??.....
I hate seeing you lower your standards because you think you can’t do better. Once you get rid of that mentality you’ll find the right guy because this ain’t it
If he wanted to he would. Dont make excuses for him. He just didnt wanna pursue a relationship with you. It sucks but you will find someone. The right one will not let you go.
Wait did you watch the video? It seems to me that he does
@@katerina9159 I think he's trying to get away from her. I don't know what kind of promotion or what he does for a living, but four months of training seems like a lot, and with the digital age, and remote education, why does he have to go to Florida? Then he'll have to relocate to Wisconsin?
Combine that with the fact that this promotion happened so soon after they met, it just seems suspicious to me.
Sometimes the right one needs to let you go, to get right with themselves.
"when am I going to be special enough?" That right there is the problem. You don't think you're special or have things going on. You can't expect love and support if you don't give that to yourself first. Love yourself, ain't nobody better.
Like rupaul says “if you can’t love yourself how the hell are you gonna love anybody else?”
If someone really likes you there are no excuses. Don’t let any guy convince you otherwise.
So true! When they're interested enough, they'll commit and do the chasing.
YEP!
100 percent
100%. ZERO excuses. the guy could be on his death bed and he should still be able to respond to a text if he wanted to enough. of course life happens and people get busy.. i get that. but a guy who wants you will make it known
He’s not being selfish, he’s establishing his career. You only knew him for a month. Yes, it comes off as desperate. Work on yourself and talk to a therapist.
this isn’t gonna end well
Why are you crying over a guy you went on a few dates with? You barely knew him…. Seriously he is nobody you are beautiful and worthy and will find somebody when the time is right. Don’t give up and don’t be so hard on yourself
That doesn't make him a nobody.
OK maybe he’s not a nobody but not somebody worth crying over at this stage. If somebody cried because I told him I wasn’t interested in them after a second date I would be relieved that I didn’t get more involved with them because that’s fucking crazy
Cassie sweetie, he’s single so he has no reason why his career shouldn’t come first. .. having said that, don’t be upset about it. He’s growing in his career. ..he’s having a new chapter of his professional growth happening, let him miss you
I think you need to go to therapy. I truly think you have some abandonment issues or unresolved trauma. I say this from my own experience. It was the best thing I ever did for myself and my future.
People make time for what they want.Focus on you and take a break from dating
Honestly girl just be alone for awhile focus on yourself make yourself happy and don’t intentionally look cause that’s when you meet your person. I had a horrible breakup from my last ex and I completely stopped believing id ever meet the one and then about 6 months later I found him :) and he treats me like a queen which is what you deserve
Good advice, I joined a few classes doing things, hobbies I’d always wanted to try after a breakup and it was the best thing for me to feel myself and get to know myself.. I met some lovely ppl along the way too who I didn’t have be anything other than what I was or worry about what they thought of me.
I say this with love, especially because I see and hear a lot of my old self in you, this seems like pretty intense anxious attachment and codependence. You are deserving of love and it does NOT have to feel so terrible and stressful and you do NOT need to settle for less and pretend to be okay with it just to have someone. Therapy is wonderful
Very insightful comment, I noticed this too having been there myself in the past❤
What kind of restaurant lets you sit at a table for five hours?
I didn’t even think about that 😬 I hope they tipped extremely well lol
When a man wants something to work out, he will make it happen. He is not the one. Put it behind you and keep on doing what you do to meet guys.. I found it easy to face the truth to move on. Keep on being the interesting lady you are and just hope that someday you meet a great match.
He's going to a new State and endevour, not to mention the amount of knowledge he'll need to consume. He'll be meeting new people. I don't think his priorities are the same now. It's been a few dates and less than 1 month.
After a month I wouldn't drop my job promotion.. that is crazy.
Actually you are putting yourself down trying to accept so little like "i dont need 5 hours of facetime". Girl, you need someone to BE with you. Like you said, you're free.
Life Will show you someone, dont get Lost cause of someone, doesnt matter If you know this person for 1 month or 1 year!
Wish you the best! 😘
So true! I see a lot of women expecting so little and it breaks my heart. We should be with someone that just can't get enough of us.
If it's not a "hell yes!" it's a "hell no". Guys always commit and find the time when they are interested enough!
I would hate 5 hours of facetime everyday.. I need my alone time, personally! 😂 FaceTime every couple days is ok though.. if a guy wants more than that and it's long distance, he's probably not the one for me (too clingy). 🤷♀️😅 Texting everyday throughout the day is just fine though. ☺️
It's not a break up if you haven't decided to be in a committed relationship... it's just dating.
guess for some people it is , breakup can mean a lot of things. you can break up with a friend too, you can break up with an agent too. you know break up...
Sure but when you want to see someone again and you can’t, it still hurts.
@@Oh_elena_ exactly, if someone ghosted, no amount of my communicating could make him come, so I deleted the guy to save myself any trouble:( If someone wants to see us again, they will do it without begging.
If you’ve been around for awhile you’ll notice she falls for the guy on the first date!
@@etlene4240 this is why she's single...she's neurotic.
This is exhausting....he made a mountain out of a mole hill??
I've had friends like this who just refuse to let men go who are not in to them. Yet they require you to go down the psychoanalysis road every time you see them and then take no advice.
Utterly exhausting.
are we sure this story checks out?! I faked my death once and here I am lol
Agreed
Lol
🤣
We need the story Holy...
😂🤣
When they love you, they won't let you go. Not a reflection on you. Just not the right one .
This January I ended my 11 year old relationship because I realized that he was never going to commit to marriage and starting a family. I'm turning 38 this year and terrified of starting over. I feel you girl. ❤️
Don't worry. My single sister has a 6 y/o son and she's 41 now. She found a partner that treats her right about 3 years ago, he cares about her needs, and embraced her child. She's happy and living with him now. I hope that relationship last a long time.
I'm telling you this because everybody deserves to be loved and your future partner is waiting for you too!
@@gabye. Thank you for the sweet message! That's wonderful for your sis 🥰
Our stories are very similar. 12 year relationship, break up and I am 39. "Fiancé" who stalled me for years, was always a bit abusive (verbally) and they just got more and more in time, until I deciced I was abused almost daily basis and I needed to step back for my mental health. I thought I found someone special after it, who valued me and my presence, who I really got along with, who made me feel loved the way I am. Then he turnt out to be an avoidant person with attachment issues. Plus other mental issues like Ptsd and depression. All showed up after we got passed that lovey dowy phase. We decided to cut ties today. He asked me to delete from everything. So I did. It hurts so much... Although I know it's the best and I deserve better.
Same here girl, I ended a ten year relationship last Feb, I have 3 young children too. I've now met a most wonderful partner who I love wholeheartedly and I'm sooo happy now!! I'm 38 too so age doesn't matter, your time will come x
It was heartbreaking to read your comment. I can't imagine spending 11 years with someone and then having to walk away because they wouldn't commit to me. I admire your strength and courage. My neice just bought a house with her boyfriend, and I worry the same thing could happen to her. I wish you nothing but the best in the future. You deserve so much better. (Big hug!)
Imagine saying, “I don’t have anything else going on and I’m enjoying you” to win the lukewarm affection of a man. Omg 🤢
not powerful statement
She does actually have job but it’s okay to know where you’re at in life at the moment and what you want at moment. For her it is love
Y’all are rude
Some peeps are ridiculously ruthlessly judgemental
The clickbait title and her caterwauling about getting her heartbroken after only a handful of casual dates had me confused.
*I have 6 indoor cats and never have I left the house covered in cat hair/fur...it's possible to still look presentable, but you have to make the effort.
Sometimes we have to realize that people are not meant for us. Respectfully, you are too available. That’s not a good quality to say “use me” “I have nothing going on”. That’s very unattractive. I think you discount yourself or settle for less than you deserve. A once a week FaceTime isn’t enough and does seem desperate. I do mean this with all the respect.
I would suggest you work on you, join groups, meet people. I know social anxiety, but find a girl friend to join you in a art class or join a gym, or join a group and meet people. So when you do go on dates, hopefully you say “I can’t, I’m busy that day but I am available this day.
Do not tell a man that you dont have anything going on. Keep that to yourself. They lose desire bc they figure you have nothing else to do.
True, but what if you really dont have anything going on, how do you lie every time they as “what are you up to?” I guess i am single because i can’t and won’t lie about no having anything to do (except work) lol. I guess you can lie at first, but for sure after a while, they'll find out anyway.
@@Users_rx Don’t lie just keep it private. In the meantime find some hobbies, hang w friends, or be really good at your work. You just don’t want the guy to know u don’t have much going on in ur life. You could also become codependent or needy and he could use it to manipulate u later.
What’s the saying? Don’t put all your eggs in one basket? Girl! You need to have your OWN LIFE. Where YOU fulfill YOURSELF. This codependent behavior and needing to fill a void with attention/validation from someone else is an illness. You need to fill your OWN cup before you drag anyone else in. That’s not their responsibility.
I had a friend doing this and I tried to say what all of the comments said. She basically gaslit me and canceled a trip we planned months before she met this guy. She’s known him for 5 months and turned on everyone.
My point is… love yourself first!
Can you please stop with the Click bait titles? This is NOT a break up. First off it’s been 2 dates. That isn’t breaking up. Also he’s still talking to you , so also not a break up either. Your last guy you dated you also called it a break up after 1 date. It’s really insensitive because going through a break up after an actual long term relationship is VERY hard.
Dude dumped you via text and you replied by negotiating down his commitment to you while he is in a different state? Girl no. Im not an expert with men but what I will tell you confidently is that if he wants to be with you, he will be - no doubts, questions, negotiations, ect. Girl tell this man that you hope he has a fun time training and you hope to see him again some time and let things breathe. I’ll never understand why cat prople tend to be the needy ones when you admire such independent creatures - channel your cat energy and stop approval seeking from losers.
!!!!
As a cat person, I feel personally attacked.😜
Sadly, she just told him she has no self-worth and that she'll settle for anything he'll give her... anything. Just please don't dump her. He told her he's not coming back to Minnesota afterwards already. This is likely not going to end well. If it does, I will be beyond shocked and I rarely am. One needs to never sound desperate. He was trying so hard to make an exit, and she just wasn't having it... how uncomfortable for him. I think, personally, that's why he did it over text.
I have cats but don't act like this, please don't stereotype all cat people. Other than that what you said is the truth she needs to hear, she came across as desperate..if he doesn't want to be with her she's making a case of why he should continue and that is never good
Finally someone told her the truth. I could not agree with you more. I whole heartily believe if he was interested in continuing any sort of relationship with her, he would have spoken to her in person not via text message. If he really did want to continue with a romantic relationship he would have approached the situation very differently. What is worse is that now he knows she will settle for very little, along with maybe seeing her as completely desperate. I would like nothing more than for her person to put her as a priority, and to make the effort to want to be with her. Because she really is a great person.
You knew him for a month and you were like that? Ugh girl you’re in your 30s he obviously just isn’t that into you and it’s not about you quit talking down on yourself. Even if you were the perfect girl for him most guys just want to mess around and see what else is out there anyway. I really hope you didn’t beg him or say anything that would make you look desperate or like you hate yourself
Is it wrong for u to want love so badly? NO
do u sound next level desperate/clingy?YES
Sorry but I think this is what pushes men away in the begnning. But thats not to say u won't find one just as love deprived as u one day and something magical can happen
jew-EL-ry for fucks sake
You're spiraling over someone you barely knew . I can see him not wanting to make it work this new too . Dating does suck though
I think u r gonna waste 4 months on him, he will be moving and meeting new women and u will be sitting around waiting on him
Idiottttt
save yourself the heart break and just accept his wishes probably is for the best he doesn't want to keep in contact with you. don't sound desperate on this date please...
YeS it does come off as desperate!
Cassie...you expect too much too soon. You've known him for a month...that is not a relationship at all. Give yourself and the guy time to get to know each other. If you end up doing this, you're going to be just settling for someone you probably don't love.
Stop looking, expect it when you least expect it. Stop watching the BS romance shows on TV...it's not real life.
You can't look for men to validate you or give you love and support. All you need is a good support system. And most of all a good paying job. But truly love yourself and appreciate yourself completely. Then someone can appreciate your value as a person as a woman. Because you know your own value.
He just wasn't for you xx
seems like he felt bad and just said he will give it a go when I'm sorry to say but I don't think he wants anything serious with you because otherwise he would have initially asked you if you would like to continue this relationship whilst he was away. Just trying to give you some harsh truths you may not be ready to hear. I would still see if he is true to his word, but if he starts ignoring you then cut the ties and don't act desperate it's not attractive and also takes away your dignity
Ps many people in the comments are giving her false hope..the instinct she has inside is that he doesn't want to be with her and if she takes that in she knows it's right. You can't guilt someone into being with you and accept scraps just because you fear being alone. She is buying time and her happiness is short lived. Maybe just be feel dissapointed process and learn from your feelings and also that someone who wants to be with you would never have written that message in the first place
you think he was sweet on the meeting, just to console her. The guy is playing some game then.
I agree, it’s very sad when she said, “use me, use me.” Cassie has really low self esteem and doesn’t love herself enough to say no to scraps. She doesn’t feel the need to fill her life with fulfilling activities or grow as a person and consistently looks for validation from men. She’s so desperate and it’s very sad. I very much believe the quote, “you can’t expect someone to love you, when you don’t love yourself.” Everyone is flawed and she needs to accept herself for where she is in life and love herself unconditionally. That may be with a man or without. I have a coworker who is her age, self sufficient and dating and she does not let people she dates make her feel a certain way, the way Cassie does. All her emotions and happiness ride on being with someone and it’s sad. I really hope some day she would see these comments and learn to be fulfilled on her own, and then, maybe then, someone will come along.
@@moominmay I know! It’s so sad! Especially looking back at her videos when she was in college. I know she’s been hurt but that doesn’t mean she should accept anyone using her because she has nothing going on.
Oh my word, the first part of your video was me during my entire 20's and 30's. Wondering what was wrong with me, why didn't I deserve to be loved, why was I the only person who seemed to struggle to even date, yet alone have someone love me and want me. I entered my 40's getting pretty content with the idea that I was going to be eternally single and was coming to terms with that, and then bam...I met him. And honestly, I believe it just takes a lot of luck and "right-time-right-place." We're getting married later this year, and I'll be a first-time bride at the age of 48. I hope things work out the way they're meant to, and in the end, whether it's with this guy or another, you find your happily ever-after. We all just want to love and be loved. It's definitely just a lot easier for some folks, and not so much for others. Good luck!
If he watches this…cringe
I remember one time I went on a date with a guy who thought I was the one because I was just nice to him. It was so sad. He thought I was the one because I was kind and a good conversationalist. I just like talking to people and listening to them. By the end of the date he was planning our future in his head. He had me moving in with him in his head. He had me marrying him. He was already in love with me. You know what I did? I kindly cut ties with him because if someone is that attached, they are not healthy. They have low self esteem and are looking for someone to make them happy. They have an insecure attachment issue and they are not in a healthy place. People who do that are potentially unstable. How can you break up with a person whose whole self worth and value is wrapped up in your relationship? You have to be healthy and happy on your own before you can find a healthy secure relationship. Only unhealthy people will date someone with an insecure attachment.
Guys that are into you ( generic you ) that all the sudden break things off = he found someone else.
I know you like to keep it casual, but I wish you would dress up a bit more for your dates! You have so much potential in your closet and makeup. Don't be afraid to dress up and be bold!! Men like a little extra pizazz
Pulleeze. You reek of desperation. It comes through the screen.
Desperation doesn't inspire. Except for people to take advantage.
What do you bring to the table? Have you read a REAL book lately? Kept up with the news? I know your channel doesn't comment controversial subjects for obvious reasons. I get it. But, personally. Do you vote? Know your representatives? INFORMED?
Watched something other than trash TV? Ever watch something about history? It doesn't stop at college.
In order to inspire, you have to bring something to the table, too. Other than desperation.
Yikes
Wait so you didn’t get broken up with then… I’m confused lol.
Personally I wouldn’t post about any relationship. Even if its a couple weeks if going steady dont post about it on your channel you need to be private. Because he could be watching and seeing its too available.. dont be available dont look for someone continually. Be happy with yourself first thats the only time i found my husband when I stopped desperately searching on dating sites. Dont be super intrested. Dont be super available. Dont hold hands, split the bill. Date three men at once casually pick one u like the most. Do not date someone and put your all into them. Be uninterested into a couple people. Just fish.
Work on yourself. Get you where you're happy with your life and self. Then worry about guys. This is an opportunity for him. It's been a month. And guys don't think the way girls do . So tell him you still want to talk . But don't put all your eggs in one basket
What a wonderful opportunity for this man. Y'all had a couple of dates ... This whole narrative of how he's a shitty person because he won't shift his entire life trajectory & it's "lies" is just... Not it.
Please take care of yourself, get therapy, get healthy.
and you're bashing a stranger on the Internet. please take care of yourself, get therapy, and get healthy.
@@angelle2033 oh sweetie. Y'all Cassie stans are part of why her channel suffers. You're so aggressive. I'm not bashing her at all. She's unhealthy & really needs time away from YT to seek help. That's ok. We all need it. & being aggressive & supporting this cyclical behavior of abuse is just gross. I really do hope she finds happiness in herself.
@@itsmecandicemarie the fact that you feel entitled to tell complete stranger they"need therapy" is gross. Perhaps focus on your own mental health because you don't come off very "healthy" yourself. Buh bye!
@@caliroma3172 I've watched her for years & she's been on a steady decline. That she constantly talks & posts about. It's ok to need help. Therapy is healthy. Taking care/self care is healthy. Part of the problem, as I've stated previously, is you aggressive Cassie stans that enable her & her issues & attack everyone. You're perpetuating her cycle here & it's just sad now.
Yes ...it comes off as desperate. I live in Wisconsin, my daughter goes to college in Minnesota, not that far. It could work. He isn't into it. Sorry it didn't work, but maybe he picked up on it and wasn't ready to be your everything. I have a grown son who just broke up with a very nice girl because of this. You are deserving of love, but you need to get fulfillment in your life before a good relationship can happen.
I’ve been watching you for awhile. You are a beautiful gal but I think you need to work on yourself so that you are attractive in every way inside and out. When you are not confident it shows and may come off desperate. Work on your health, your body, your mind!
Please don't base your self worth or happiness on whether or not some dude is interested in you- def comes off as desperate. Everything happens the way it's supposed to.
It’s surprising that you’d want to go through all the trouble after going on 2 dates with the guy. I think you should put yourself first and think about if this is really what you want, or if the fear of being alone is attaching you to this guy.
I know you say you’re demisexual, but I think you develop feelings quickly. When he leaves, you should really think about whether this is a situation that works for you or not.
I think they've had more than just two dates...
@@kory4579 in her live stream she said they’d had 3 dates, but I don’t count the first date because it was just a video chat
@@-danny. She said they have had three in person dates and then the video chat as well. Which is actually a reasonable amount of time to determine whether someone is worth the "trouble" as you call it. If both of them are on board with 4 months long distance, why fault them for giving it a fair shot?
@@kory4579 I’m not faulting them, at the end of the day she can do what she wants. All I’m saying is she has a history of falling for guys quickly and I think she should think through before investing so much in one person she hardly knows. She should know her worth more, she’s talking about being okay with 1 hour call once a week, but like… that’s not anything. And it’s longer than 4 months because he’s moving to Wisconsin afterward.
@@-danny. Precisely. People are acting like he'll only be gone for a couple of months. Ummm... no. Sadly, she's pretty much telling him she doesn't know her own worth. He has a problem when he's "busy" sending her a text that's takes tops 5 seconds. That's such a huge red flag... no matter what his excuse and how good he makes her feel afterwards. No one is ever too busy, not even the top CEO of a company, I assure you.
this video showed up on my explore page and I'm really glad it did. I am going through something somewhat similar and everything you are saying really resonates with me.
Hearing a stranger make these comments (like thinking you aren't deserving of love and happy things) really put things in perspective. And that's because I would never believe that anyone is undeserving of love but yet I manage to think that of myself.
We should learn to be as kind to ourselves as we are to others.
In the past couple of weeks I realized that spending some time with him made me completely forget who I was WITHOUT him.
We are so much more than what we meant to "that" guy; we are our passions, our hobbies, the nice things we do for our friends, the smiles we gift to others. And that is enough.
I whish you all the best, a big hug!
She: exposes all the pain of her soul.
Also she: on the plus side I found this mascara...
Love you and feel you ❤️
Honestly going to go buy that mascara haha i googled it as soon as i saw it on her it looked so good!!
👏👏👏
I don’t know, but maybe DON’T keep telling strangers on the internet every SINGLE fact and feeling you ever have about every single guy you ever go out with?! That seems like it would be nothing but creepy and terrifying to any potential partners.
I wish for you, that you find an unshakable sense of self. That you love yourself so fiercely that no one and nothing can shake your love for yourself and your love of your own company.
You do deserve love and happiness. What people do to you is not a reflection of you, it's a reflection of them. I have been dating for the last 3 years with no luck. I feel the same exact way too. We are worthy. We are loveable. I just was messaging with a guy for 3 weeks and it was amazing. Then he abruptly ended things because he, "wasn't ready", even though he was on a DATING SITE! I know how frustrating it can be. Literally. But it does not define your worth as a person. If it isn't working out it's just clearing a path for something better! Plus, also, each experience better prepares us for the next.
So very true. Dating and finding your person is so hard. Not easy. People always claim things are easy and you can meet anyone anytime. Poppycock! Finding love is hard. Hell, just finding a date is hard.
Awesome comment! I also had to deal with the "I'm not ready" types. The truth most of the time is they were just not interested enough in us. Men are always ready to commit when they are really into you.
That's one of the reasons I no longer text first, let alone pursue any men. They are basically hardwired to do the chasing themselves.
Well said!!!
"I'm not ready" is the most used excuse but if he's really interested in you he give it a chance. My boyfriend is from an other country and he always traveled a lot. He said he really likes me but he only had a longer relationship once, many years ago and that he's not looking for anything serious because he still wants to travel and he's too scared of commitments. We even "broke up" once, almost twice but we always found a way to each other. That was three years ago and now I live with him in another country 🙂 So yes, if he say he's "not ready" and he really give up, it's not worh is.
Sounds like the guy was afraid of commitment. It probably scared him how well you were getting along, and subconsciously he prefers to hold people at arm's length
Last January I broke up with one that I thought I was going to be with for the rest of my life after almost 10 years together.
I had to move out and live alone for the first time and I have never felt more alone or like a failure, but at the same time I was so happy and ready, because I had realized I was worth something more!
I grew so much, found myself after being so lost after so many years.
And now, after almost 1,5 years, I live in a house, engaged to my actual soulmate and am a step mom to 3 wonderful kids!
Dont ever change or sacrifice yourself for a relationship. It's not worth it and you deserve everything!
Cassie, does he watch your videos?
I say keep in touch with him but keep going on dates. Don't put all your hopes in one guy this early. But still fingers crossed that you both keep enjoying each other too.
Whew, what an emotional rollercoaster, my heart goes out to you for going through this on camera. Keep us posted and stay positive!
thank you Noelle, I'll definitely keep you all posted!! 💕
Cassie, I’m sorry to have to tell you this, but if the connection was real and strong, all the changes in his life wouldn’t matter. He would have asked you to come with him, or found a way to make it work, especially since you’re eager to do so. He would have valued you there in his life as a support.
The right person will come along and will make it work regardless of the circumstances! Don’t settle for any less
Yes, Exactly. This guy is not the one, but the right one is out there somewhere.
I guess he went home with cat hair all over his clothes too. Don’t get me wrong. I have two cats also but I’d never go on a date covered in it.
Lint rollers are a great thing.
I also have a fur baby, and she sheds like crazy but I always use a lint roller when I leave my home. Especially if I am going out on a date with someone I am trying to impress.
Right? And choosing an outfit depending on whether 'it will show all of her sweat' 🤢. Girl is making videos with clothes hauls yet wears literal rags for a date
No need to judge this guy harshly. We aren't hearing his thoughts, concerns, insecurities.
I do agree that it's a good idea to make sure you're both on the same page about what your relationship is, especially when it involves some distance.
I'm late to this video but Cassie have a h** phase. It doesn't mean to sleep with them, but date a lot of guys at once. Get what you're looking for and say BYEEEE to the boys who don't serve you. I had a "phase" and I've never been happier with my current boyfriend. I found what I've been looking for by speed dating around essentially
Tbh, it sounds like he just didn't have the gall to break it off and kinda let you down easy girl. I hope I'm wrong but I bet he will become more and more distant. When a guy really likes you, he chases after you. You don't have to beg for a once a week call. Cassie I really hope you see this but you need to hear the truth. If you want a guy to start taking you seriously, you need to work on yourself and that means losing weight/gaining confidence. Men looking for attraction in the first place is not a superficial endeavor. Taking care of your health/body is a sign that you're a stable person who has your shit together. You're a pretty girl regardless but it's going to be really difficult to find the partner that you want if you dont lose weight and stop asking to be in their lives.
i agree with everything you said except the weight thing. idk why you even brought that up
@@cutest123 Being overweight plays a huge role in how you feel, fatigue/mood/self-esteem wise. Body positivity surrounding obese BMI rates is disastrous and terrible for our society. People shouldn't be shamed either but obesity is correlated with many physical/mental health diseases such as cardiovascular disease which is the #1 killer
Why don’t you taken this time to take care of you. Whining and acting dramatic isn’t cute. 4 months is a long time. Anything can happen. Please don’t base your happiness on whether a guy likes you or not. That’s ridiculous. You said earlier you have nothing going on. We’ll get something going on. Again, take this time to better yourself. Seriously. No one wants to feel like they’re responsible for your happiness. Not to mention how incredibly unhealthy that is. Lastly? And not to be to petty. But that shirt was dirty full of cat hair. Invest in a roller.
Yes, she definitely needs a lint roller. And I am just not even going to get started on her comfy casual attire.
My husband and I only knew each other for 2 weeks before he took a job out of state and moved several hours away. We knew it was crazy to try long distance after such a short period of time but neither of us wanted to date other people so we decided to try. I moved a few months later and we’re now married with kids. I’m sure people thought we were insane at the time but it worked out.
People have a lot of opinions in your comments. I think we all have these kind of thoughts privately, you just have a balls to make them public. I’m happy for you girl.
When are you gonna be special enough to someone, when they don´t wanna let you go? Well, maybe try to re-watch ur video, you answered your question yourself in it (and in many others too). You want to peak someone´s interest? "I don´t have anything else going on in my life, nothing else consuming my thoughts, I am a free bird, use me, use meee!" Are you for real? I can not even imagine a situation in which I´d say sth like this, not to mention posting it online. These thoughts should be heard by your friends, fam members you trust, or your therapist. You make yourself look so cheap and so miserable. And yes, apparently, you are desperate and crazy. Because if you really wanted to make a change in your life, you would first start with yourself. But that´s tough, right? It´s tough to take responsibility for you your happiness, and trust me, all of those "happy couples" are aware of that, but they are willing to admit it and push themselves to work on themselves day by day. And even if that was a joke, saying things like "same perfume as the last time cause I am boring" - wearing it repeatedly is not what makes you look that way, ;)
Don't put all your eggs in one basket.
Don't settle.
Communicate your needs. You deserve to be talked to more than like an hour a week. You don't want to be the one sitting at home doing nothing life passing you by and he's casually dating others or doing whatever while he's out of town. You may feel like you know him, but it's only been a month.
Don't base how you're thinking and feeling all on how things are going with a man, especially when things are so new and you're casually dating.
I will echo the sentiments of a few others, if you're not in therapy currently, please consider going to therapy.
There is my unsolicited advice.
Ik ur probably hear this a lot but just enjoy being single! You have your whole life to settle down. Do everything now, go on girls night/days with friends, travel, and embrace the freedom.
I think men r sensing your desperation and they run
Thats the mens prob. We all have emotions.
Hey lovely Cassie, I know right now it doesn’t feel like it but you’re worth more than just dropping everything for a guy you’ve known for a month.
I’ve realised that because of my trauma and issues with family/friend growing up, I kept trying to find someone to love me. When something became hard Id always rise to the challenge, because as a kid I’d have to do the same to gain love. Nothing came easy and that’s what I expected with my love life.
I never learnt love, commitment, respect, listening etc should be offered freely, no challenges, no let me show you I’m good enough.
Just remember when things get difficult, complicated especially in the beginning it’s okay to choose yourself.
Much love xxx
Did y’all discuss if he’s interested in seeing other people while he’s away? I should preface by saying that I have been watching your videos for years and like others here I am totally invested! Nothing but love! Just curious 😊 happy for you!
I've known people who didn't talk about this outright in long distance and tears were shed!
Yikes. First off i think you get attached waaaay to quickly. You've only been on a couple dates and play out a possible future in your head but you don't include the other person or their needs/wants. I mean ask him what HE wants and how HE sees this going instead of saying you want to continue it. Y'all aren't even in a relationship, barely casually dating. You are crying over someone you just met. Yes there was a connection but you will have other connections. You are making something about him (moving and getting a new job) about you. Saying " why is he leaving ME? Why can't I have good things?" Its not about you. Imagine if you started seeing someone for a week or two and then got a new job somewhere else. Most adults would say sorry but I job a new job. Its a bummer but it is what it is. Imagine you were the one moving..you'd play out in your head how you'd be busy and it's not the best time to start a relationship let alone long distance or asking someone to move with you. You need to stop only seeing relationships from your own point of view. It just screams insecurity and immaturity. I mean i know im going to get comments but I'm not trying to be rude. Just genuinely asking if you are that insecure where you get attached this easily? you are dating in your 30s, most people you date will have other commitments such as jobs, kids, etc. Many people do not just jump into committed relationships. There are a lot of factors that go into a relationship other than just "sparks".Sounds like before you date you might have some growing up to do.
I don’t think it’s wrong of her to be excited for something she’s been looking for. I’m not quite sure why it bothered you this much to write a book about HER dating life. Yes, it’s public and online, but you don’t have to rain on something she’s excited for. People fall in love and get married in a couple of months and it works out. You don’t fully know the situation and neither do I. Let her be excited. It’s not hurting you.
Wise words and well thought out, but maybe work on your delivery because you couldn't across as more insulting if you tried! If you want someone to hear your wisdom, they have to get past the delivery. And remember, she just got smacked with this when she filmed this, let's let her be a human being with feelings that she has to figure out.
@@burlapbear you and 60 people didn’t even watch the video…they’re still dating.
You didn’t even watch the video if this was your response.They’re still dating.
@@NicholtheJournalistno I did watch thank you though. what im saying is they've been on a couple dates and she's already freaking out about him moving. It's a little odd. But thats just my opinion, we're all free to have our own.
Sometimes we say that we don't need this and that from a significant other but it might be just another way of compromising in order to have someone in our lives. With you being free and able to do what you desire, take time to heal, do something that makes you feel like you again.
Minnesota to Wisconsin is nothing. I had to endure a long distance relationship from Washington State to Germany. We kept it going for years, visiting each other and becoming closer via phone daily (or nightly in his case.) We are now happily married. You do have to put in a lot of work, energy and trust into the endeavor, but it's 100% worth it in the end. If he is a good man. It can definitely work for you. Have faith. 😊
Yes!! 5+ years of NJ to Ireland here, it's a lot of work but it's so worth it and we're much stronger for it! Now we're living in Ireland going on 8 years. It can work!
India-Canada here! For 7 years, first 5 years just friends and now happily married for 2 years! Long distance sometimes, just sometimes, end up working!
I would think a teenager was talking...but no, a woman in her thirties.
Right?! My thoughts exactly
Dating in your 30s is even worse because you have to worry about having children before it's too late.
@@Billybloop that's if people dating in their 30s want children.
@@shawnarichmond2585 of course but if she does she has limited time.
They've not broken up.. The title is not correct
So Clickbait then?
@@annanawrocka7460 yes big time
he literally broke up with me, hence why I said I had been crying and asking him if we could make it work instead of breaking up... it wasn't clickbait 🤦♀️
@@thriftthick you’ve known this guy for what? A month or two? And you’re already crying over a break up that’s not even a break up because you guys weren’t in a relationship?
@@thriftthick some of the people in your comments are pretty heinous
I wanted her to put concealer under her eyes so bad
Why are her eyes yellow?
😄 Me too! I wanted to put it on her eyelids aswell to cancel out the yellow/orange hue. Im a full coverage woman too so i wanted to apply more foundation. No offence whatsoever to Cassie. Im a FULL coverage freak 😄
Hi, why don't you tell him what you said to us ? It cost nothing to tell someone how you feel. If he is rejecting you so let it go.
Hug from france :)
I loved your comment its a great idea
THIS!! Tell him. Tell him. Tell him how you feel.
@@ashleygillespie5108 absolutely 👍